Thursday Thirteen #253

 Thirteen facts things about calling 911. Most of this was new to me.

1. Approximately 240 million calls come into 911 in the US every year.

2. 80% of calls come from cell phones. 

3. Many major carriers have made it possible to text 911. However, unlike a call from a cell or landline phone, the call center may not be able to automatically tell where you are from a text. You may have to keystroke in your location, which takes valuable time. If you're at all able, place a voice call.

5. It's estimated that between 65% and 78% of us will call 911 in our lifetime. I placed two legit emergency calls, both decades ago. The first was when I smelled smoke in coming from the apartment downstairs from me, the second was when I stumbled upon a crime in progress.

6. I stupidly called 911 by accident in 2020. You can delve into what an idiot I was here. There are tens of thousands such calls every year.

7. I'm lucky that there were no ramifications for my dumb mistake. In 2015, an Ohio woman was arrested for calling 911 to report bad Chinese food.

8. The very first 911 call wasn't an emergency. It was a demonstration. The Speaker of the House in Alabama proudly placed it to establish Alabama as the first state to offer this life-saving service.

9. Texans place more 911 calls, per capita, than the residents of any other state.

10. AT&T originated 911 in 1968, and chose those numbers because "9" was not yet used as the first digit in any area code yet and "11" is easy to remember.

11. Most jurisdictions place each calls into one of three categories: POLICE, FIRE and EMS. The most calls are for medical emergencies, followed by police and then fire.

12. More calls come into 911 on 4th of July than any other day.

13. 911 is not the international standard, so before you travel abroad, check the procedures for the nation you're visiting. For example, in the UK, the emergency number for police is 999. Egypt has individual 3-digit numbers for police, fire and medical emergencies.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

Here we go again

 

So this morning, I'm using a dental pick between my teeth. I'm trying to stay healthy and take care of my gums. And guess what: a crown on my molar popped off. The whole damn porcelain thing. 

 

I'm sure that's another $500-$1000. And more hours in the dentist's chair.

 

Not happy. Thank goodness for dental insurance. Imagine how much unhappier I'd be without it! 

 

I can't save them all

At the beginning of the pandemic, I was very worried about Chicago's homeless. I know how hard life on the street is, and how dependent they are on the foot traffic of office workers in the Loop. I kinda adopted a homeless man on the corner of Michigan and Lake. He used to have a tortoise shell cat that he doted on. At the beginning of the pandemic, he was convinced by a nice lady to surrender her. He said he missed her, but he realized she was better in a safe, stable home.

Now that I'm back downtown regularly (every Tuesday, sometimes Tuesday and Wednesday) I see him again. Same spot. New kitten. Another little girl. He told me proudly that she was up on her shots.

While she looked good, I'm sorry to report he did not. There were scratches on his face and a cut on his nose. They were not the marks of kitten. My guess is a fall or maybe a car accident.

The next time I saw him, two Tuesdays later, he was asleep -- right there on that noisy corner -- and he didn't have the cat. I left him a blessing bag (tissue packet, cough drops, breakfast bar, clean mask, and a $1 bill) and an additional $5. 

Same thing today. Sleepy dude. No cat. I just hit and run with the blessing bag again. I was kind of glad he was out of it. I don't want to know what was wrong (I suspect meds). I don't want to know what happened to the cat. (She might have been stolen, or run into that busy, busy street).

Some stories just don't get a happy ending.

WWW. WEDNESDAY

 WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? All About All About Eve by Sam Staggs. All About Eve (1950) is one of my favorite movies. Perhaps you've heard the most famous quote, "Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night." This book is showing me how it got made. It's filled with Hollywood gossip (a young Marilyn Monroe had a small part, and it's funny how people who barely noticed her in real time later recalled knowing all along she was something special) but I'm also learning a great deal, too. I especially loved the little things -- like the details the art director and set designers included and why. Film is a collaborative art form, and I appreciate that more when I better understand everyone's efforts.

2. What did you just finish reading? Back in the Burbs by Tracy Wolff and Avery Flynn. Eccentric Aunt Maggie is the only relative who ever "got" Mallory. Now she's dead. But from beyond the grave, she is giving her niece support. She left her home -- a big old ramshackle suburban mess -- to Mallory. This gives Mallory something to concentrate on as she tries to heal after a shattering divorce.

I like Mallory. This book is light and silly at times but, taken on its own terms, it's entertaining.

3. What will you read next? Great or Nothing, a reimagining of Little Women.

 

 

At least it didn't rain

 

 

I went down to Macomb one last time, to see my nephew before he graduates from Western Illinois University.

If you're ever in Macomb (I know; why would you ever be in Macomb?) I recommend the Super 8 Motel. The rooms are tiny, but clean, safe, and affordable (cheap). I also applaud this sign on the door. Someone wrote, "We wish you didn't have to leave at all." A writer like me. I love that added touch, even though I bet 9 out of 10 guests don't read after 11:00 A.M.

While rain was predicted, it never fell. That enabled us to wander the campus under cloudy skies. He showed me buildings where he had classes and talked to me about his favorite professors. He has been happy here, and so I felt more than a little melancholy. This part of his life will be over in a matter of weeks, and he'll be embarking on the next one.

We talked about that a lot. In a way, he and I are in the same place. He knows he will soon graduate and has to start working and planning his career. I, on the other hand, know I will soon retire. I don't have a date certain like he does, but I'm 64 years old and know that my professional journey is about to end just as his is beginning. We both confessed a little anxiety. (OK, he's really anxious.)

His job as a baseball writer may have fallen through. The website, devoted to baseball, was financially crippled by the labor dispute (fucking owners!) and doesn't have the funds to add to staff right now. Maybe in May. Maybe not.

But he wants to write. He knows that now. He asked me how to go about breaking into it. 

I told him that it won't be easy because his degree will be in political science and government. I'm also not sure he doesn't want to go into politics in some form. He just lights up when he talks about those classes! I recommended that he offer his services to local charities and local campaigns (after all, this does just so happen to be an election year). The important thing is for him to get content published somewhere ... anywhere. 

And we saw a deer! My nephew was amused by how excited I was. He said that they're just making their way out of the deeper forest and starting to appear on campus, but by the end of the month this will be a regular sight. There's little car traffic around the halls and, on weekends especially, it's pretty quiet so the deer just hang out. I thought it was very nice of her to be so still so I could take her picture.

Anyway, I'm grateful that he likes to spend time with his old fart aunt, that he confides in me and thinks I have something to offer. I hope he will be happy as he moves forward. I wish he wasn't so worried about all this, but then, I'm a worrier, too. Maybe it's genetic!

Thinking of genetic ... OH! HIS DORM ROOM! It's not only a mess, but it literally stinks. (He does laundry every other week, and 14 days worth of dirty underwear can really reek.) There also was nowhere for me to sit. Every surface was covered with printouts, wrappers, and Walmart bags. As he dumped the trash off a chair so I could sit, I admit I admired how unembarrassed he was by this. I wish I could just own my sloppiness the way he does his. (Please note: I just bleached my whites before I left on Friday; I can't imagine going 2 weeks without doing the laundry! So I'm not that bad.)

Sunday Stealing

FROM BUN-TOTING LIBRARIAN

1.    When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? No zits.

2.    What shirt are you wearing? My Lincoln Home NHS t-shirt. This over-sized t is a souvenir of my most recent visit to Abe's house in Springfield, and it has the honor of being this week's nightshirt.

3.    Do you label yourself? Yes. I'm a barren spinster.

4.    What does your watch look like? Black band, white face, black numbers. Very utilitarian.

5.    What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching Pulp Fiction on cable. It's one of my favorite Bruce Willis performances (and I'm so sad about his health news).

6.    Last furry thing you touched? My cat Connie, who insists I never pet or feed her.

7.    Favorite age you have been so far? 35. I was in love. My career was taking off. I felt sexy and successful.

8.    What is your current desktop picture? It reflects why I never have company.

9.    If you had to choose between $1,000,000 or to be able to fly what would it be? Show me the money.

10.  The last song you listened to? "Down in the Boondocks" by Billy Joe Royal.

11.  What time of day were you born? Midnight between 11/21 and 11/22. Since midnight is not legally a time, my mom chose 12:01 AM for my birth certificate.

12.  Where did you live in 1987? On the other side of the tracks. Literally. If it wasn't for the train tracks, I could see my old home from my current one.

13.  What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Swear

 

14.  Would you move for the person you loved? Yes.

15.  Name three things that you have on you at all times? Since I (like most people) shower naked, there is nothing I have on me at all times. However, I never leave my home without my keys, a mask, and (usually but not always) my phone.

16.  What’s your favorite town/city? Chicago. It's a toddlin' town. I love it. I bet your bottom dollar you'll lose your blues in Chicago, Chicago ...

17.  What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Dinner for myself and my nephew at Cathy's Cafe in Macomb, IL. An old school, small town diner. Just over $25 for both us (including tip).

18.  When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Every week I send postcards to seniors as part of the Letters Against Isolation program. Thanks to Bev for introducing this program to me. 

19.  The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear? It's been more than a year! I wore a long, garnet red duster with matching cami over black leggings. Black flats.

20.  Does anything hurt on your body right now? Hurt? No. But I'm stiff getting up and getting moving.

 

Sunday Salon

 

I'm thinking about two books today. I'm not going to give them a thumbs-up/thumbs-down. This post will be more concerned with their genres than the actual books themselves.

•  Great or Nothing by Joy McCullough, Caroline Tung Richmond, Tess Sharpe and Jessica Spotswood. Why does this single novel have four authors? Because it's a reimagining of Little Women, and each March sister has her own voice and, therefore, her own author. This time it's set in the 1940s, The March family is reeling from two blows: the bombing of Pearl Harbor and Beth's fatal illness. I know Gone with the Wind received a similar treatment in the 1990s with a sequel called Scarlett. (Though Alexandra Ripley left Rhett and Scarlett in the 1800's.) Are there classics that you'd like to see updated or continued?

•  All About All About Eve is an exhaustive look at the making of the 1950 film, All About Eve. To this day it remains the only movie to receive four Oscar nominations for its lead actresses. That's how good it is. Influential, too. One of its lines, "Fasten your seatbelts! It's going to be a bumpy night!" has made its way into the vernacular, and it spawned a Tony Award winning play and Emmy nominated made-for-TV movie (both called Applause). Author Sam Staggs tells us how a short story in Cosmopolitan magazine started this juggernaut, explains the role of the set designers and costume designers as well as the writer/director, and dissects the performances (and off-screen shenanigans) of the actors. Staggs tried to interview the last surviving cast member, Oscar-nominated Celeste Holm, when he began this book. She refused to cooperate, saying, "A work of art speaks for itself. A book like this is a waste of time." Do you agree? Do you enjoy the reviews and analysis of a book, movie, poem or play? Or do you prefer to let the art speak for itself?

Check out other Sunday Salon participants here.

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Fooled Around and Fell in Love (1976)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

Chosen because Friday was April Fool's Day.

1) As an April Fool's prank, Taco Bell once announced they had purchased The Liberty Bell and renamed it The Taco Liberty Bell. Describe your perfect taco. Lightly (and oh, I do mean lightly) seasoned beef, lettuce, and cheddar cheese in a flour tortilla.

2) In 1989, a British policeman investigated a flying saucer that had landed in a field in Surrey. When a figure in a space suit emerged, the policeman ran away. Turns out it was a hot air balloon, designed by billionaire Richard Branson to look like a UFO as an April Fool's prank/publicity stunt. Have you ever seen a UFO? Nope

3) This week's song is about a man who collected girls' phone numbers in a little book. When he and she broke up, he'd tear out her page. Do you keep an pen-and-paper address book? Or do you use your cellphone to hold street addresses as well as phone numbers? I still carry an old-school day planner with an address book in the back.

4) This was the biggest hit blues guitarist Elvin Bishop ever had, but that's not him singing it. While he's proud of his composing and guitar prowess, Bishop felt his voice was too gravelly for this song. Do you like your singing voice? Ha! NO! No one likes my singing voice!

5) A brainy kid, Elvin Bishop won a full scholarship to the University of Chicago, where he majored in physics. Obviously, though, as a blues guitarist he doesn't lean on that physics degree very often. What's something you learned in school that you seldom used again? Chemistry and algebra

6) Elvin was born in Iowa, grew up in Oklahoma, went to college in Illinois, recorded in Georgia and now lives in California. How many different states have you called home? One. I have no interest in moving. I remember a conversation with a lover who was trying to convince me we would be happier in Northern California. I told him that we'd just be moving our problems 2000 miles to the west. I really believe that.

 

7) In 1976, the Summer Olympics were held in Montreal. When did you most recently visit our neighbor to the north? It's been decades.

8) Nadia Comaneci was the star of the 76 Olympics, scoring a perfect 10 in gymnastics. What have you enjoyed lately that you would rate "a perfect 10?" Weeks ago, I had the most heavenly slice of prime rib.

9) Random question: Do you ever talk to your TV? Oh, yes. I shout encouragement to ball players all the time.

 

 

 

Damn you, Will Smith!

 

The Oscars are my Super Bowl. I love them. I wait all year for them. Once the nominations are announced, I start binging on the movies. I pick a category to start (this year it was Best Actress) and catch as many of the contenders as I can. (I saw 4 of 5). Then I move on (this year, it was Best Actor).

I woke up Sunday and celebrated Oscar Day by going to the movies. At a theater. The Music Box Theater had a special program to devoted to Cher. Since she's an Academy Award winner, it seemed fitting. While she won for Moonstruck, I enjoy her more in Mask. So I was happy. Afterward, Eileen and I went out for lunch for her birthday. Again, fitting, since we went out for my birthday.

I got home, took a nap, then settled in on the sofa for the ceremony. It was so deja 2019. So wonderfully pre-covid. 

Then Will Smith slapped Chris Rock. My party was ruined. It just wasn't so much fun anymore.

This wasn't Envelopegate, when Bonnie and Clyde gave the Best Picture Oscar to the wrong movie. That was fun and fascinating. This was complicated, and every way I looked at it was uglier than the next.

Thanks, Will. Thanks a whole hell of a lot.

Thursday Thirteen #252

 

The 13 "Guilty Pleasures" edition. There are things I love that are not especially good for me, or that I'm embarrassed to enjoy as much as I do. They include:

1. Coca Cola

2. Pringles Potato Chips

3. Reading about The Royals

4. Saved by the Bell (I have no idea why I find this awful show imminently watchable)

5. The movie Valley of the Dolls (I love every wretched frame)

6. Ice cream sandwiches

7. Elvis movies

8. Helen Reddy songs

9. True crime

10. Office supplies (especially erasers and binder clips)

11. Long showers

12. Spite reading. In 2012/13, my oldest friend once dated (literally once) but continued to flirt online with a really toxic guy. Nine years later, I still check his Twitter feed regularly so I can get the satisfaction of saying, "What a putz."

13. Cold, leftover pizza for breakfast.

How about you? What are your guilty pleasures?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? Lady Bird and Lyndon by Betty Boyd Caroli. I have read a lot (perhaps too much) about Jackie. I know nearly as much about Mary Lincoln. I'm conversant, if not fluent, in Abigail Adams and Michelle Obama. But that's it. There are many, many First Ladies I could know much, much more about.

In 2021 I took on Nancy Reagan. This year I'm turning my attention to Lady Bird Johnson. I must admit I like her far more than I did Nancy. I was aware that Lady Bird came from money, but I did not realize how painful and complicated her childhood family dynamic was. That's something she had in common with Jackie, Mary, and Nancy. 

Ms. Caroli is a good storyteller. As I make my way through Lady Bird's story, I wonder what other similarities I'll find.

2. What are you currently reading? Summer Secrets by Jane Green. Cat is a nice girl with a good heart and a serious drinking problem. She just can't keep it under control. And when she drinks, she does things that hurt others and leave her drenched with regret. In that way, she is like alcoholics I have known in my own life, and you may have known in yours.

Cat's saga centers on mistakes that were made on Nantucket in the past, and how they reverberated and even repeated themselves in the future. It's about pain and transformation and getting sober. In short, it's far more serious than its "beach read" title suggests.

This book starts out so slow that I almost gave up on it. Seriously, the sleepy pace at first was getting on my nerves. But I'm so glad I stayed with it. Ultimately, it was quite moving.

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

 

Sunday Stealing

 STOLEN FROM PINTEREST

1. Are you living a meaningful life? Yes. Every day I try to do good work, and good works.

2. What’s the one thing you cannot live without? Coca Cola. It's that combination of caffeine and sugar that I dearly love.

3. When is it acceptable, if ever, to break the law? I suppose that there are times. But after the disgusting spectacle of January 6 in DC, I am rethinking this.

4. What do you want your final words to be? I'd like to die like my grandmother did. She went upstairs to take a nap, had planned to read a few pages of the Louis L'Amour book she'd checked out of the library before she dozed off. She closed her eyes and died, glasses on her nose, book on her chest. No final words.

5. What do you think are the five most beautiful things in the world? The sky, people's eyes (part of why I never understood the whining about masks; we got to concentrate on the eyes), large bodies of water (like Lake Michigan or the Gulf of Mexico), mountains, Paul McCartney singing "All My Loving" on The Ed Sullivan Show.

 

6. What makes you feel empowered? Doing a good job. Competence makes me feel empowered.

7. Which is more important–what you say, or how you say it? What you say, although how you say it obviously has an impact.

8. Do you live to work, or work to live? I have a job. While it gives me tremendous satisfaction to do it well, it is no longer as important to me as it once was.

9. How do you think the world will change in 10 years? 50? 100? Maybe The Jetsons were right and our homes will look like this.

10. What is something you’re certain you’ll never experience? Child birth.

11. What one responsibility do you wish you didn’t have? Upkeep of this condo. I am not good at it.

12. What is something you’re embarrassed that you’re so good at? Remembering movie dialog.

13. What’s the one thing you most want to achieve before you die? Peace of mind.

14. What’s something that offends you? People who are smug in their bigotry. At least be self aware enough to know you're ignorant. Try to do better. Don't be so freaking satisfied.

15. What makes you most angry about the country? The love affair with imagined grievance. I read Ginni Thomas' messages to Mark Meadow and she complains about "the elite" stealing the election. The wife of a Supreme Court justice whining to the Chief of Staff of the leader of the free world about "elites." Give me a fucking break. Ginni Thomas and Mark Meadows have enjoyed more privilege and exercised more influence than most of us could dream of. She just chooses to feel like a victim. (Further proof that not all Karens are named Karen.)

 

Sunday Salon

 

It's Oscar Day, so let's talk movies! This is my Super Bowl. Here's how I'm celebrating:

•  Naturally, I'm going to the movies. The Music Box Theater here in Chicago put together a special program honoring Academy Award winning actress Cher. My friend Elaine and I are going to see a matinee of Mask, which is my favorite Cher performance. She plays the ferocious mother of a special needs son.

•  I'm reading about an Oscar-honored movie, All About All About Eve. All About Eve is one of my go-to movies. I love the dialog, the dresses, the performances, so this up-close-and-personal accounting of how it was made fascinates me.

•  Of course I'll have the awards show on tonight. I've seen 8 of the 10 Best Actor/Best Actress performances. Here's my prediction. Best Actress: Jessica Chastain; Best Actor: Will Smith. Though if I were voting, I may have cast my ballot for Andrew Garfield in Tick ... Tick ... Boom! Will Smith was very good as Venus and Serena's dad, and it's been fun to watch him grow up before my eyes, going from the Fresh Prince to a serious actor. But I could not take my eyes off Andrew Garfield in Tick ... Tick ... Boom! (It's on Netflix.)

Check out other Sunday Salon participants here.

Dona nobis pacem

 

Click here to join Mimi

 

If you have a heart, you are inspired and moved by the valiant struggle in Ukraine. When I watch the news coverage and feel helpless, I'm reminded of that famous Mr. Rogers quote: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'" And I am inspired to help the helpers.

Here are a couple ways you can help the helpers, and in the process help bring peace to the lives of the Ukrainians. You may find that pitching in will soothe your soul, too. 

Doctors without Borders

UNICEF

Humane Society International 

PS I did my homework, and these organizations have earned "Give with Confidence" from Charity Navigator.

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Memories (2019)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.



1) This song is a toast. Have you ever performed an official toast (at a wedding, a graduation, a retirement party, etc.)? No, THANK GOODNESS! For all the times I've been a bridesmaid, I am happy to report I escaped being Maid of Honor, which means no bride ever called on me for a toast.

2) According to Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine, this is a "toast to the ones here today." Tell us about someone in your life that you're especially grateful for. My cousin Rose. She is one of two (just 2!) people left in the world who held me as a baby. She has loved me my whole life. Though we frequently exasperate each other, I am very grateful she's in my life.

3) Levine is the song's composer. He said he was compelled to write it, to help him cope with the death of a friend. His lyrics acknowledge that "everybody hurts sometimes." What advice would you share with someone who is struggling? Share. With your blog, with your friends, with God. Work through your pain by examining it and sharing it.

4) Adam Levine was one of the original judges on The Voice. Are you a fan of the show? Nope. I don't know why I've never gotten into it the way I have American Idol, but I just haven't.

5) Among his friends, Adam is known to be an excellent Scrabble player. Is there a game you're particularly good at (or you especially enjoy)? I'm a streaky but sometimes awesome canasta player.

6) Though he's a multi-Grammy winner, Adam wasn't always successful. In fact, he was fired after just three hours at his first job as a waiter. Have you ever had a job that just wasn't a good fit? I was a secretary for five years. I was good enough at it, I suppose, but I was miserable.

7) In 2019, when this song was released, Joaquin Phoenix gave his Oscar-winning performance in Joker. Heath Ledger also won an Oscar for is portrayal of the same character in a different film, and Cesar Romero was The Joker on TV. Today The Batman is doing great business at the box office. Do you have a favorite super hero, or arch villain? I know comic book purists disagree, but I love Adam West's Batman. I could (and have) binged on it for hours.

8) Also in 2019, two familiar names had books on NY Times best seller list: John Grisham with The Guardians and Janet Evanovich with Twisted Twenty Six. Are either of these authors among your favorites? Nope. I used to love Grisham, but we've grown apart, John and I. I read One for the Money and loathed it. Fortunately for both Grisham and Evanovich, my response to them hasn't stood in the way of their success.

9) Random Question: What's something you wish you'd figured out earlier? #3. I read Saving Graces by Elizabeth Edwards and it had a profound effect on me. Sometimes being vulnerable, sharing your pain, and allowing a friend to help you makes you both stronger.

 

A treatment plan is coming my way

After the hygienist completed the cleaning, the dentist came in and performed a thorough examination. Then he gave me the bad news: There's decay around at least one crown. 

I had a lot of dental work done exactly 30 years ago. It seems every Saturday, I was in the dentist chair. I didn't have dental insurance in those days, so it was expensive. And boring. 

Crowns don't last forever. 30 years is a good run.

But because I had them all done at the same time, I suppose it's not surprising that they're all failing at the same time. 

I am already in the process of getting a dental implant. That will include the skills of three different professionals at two different locations and will cost me approximately $5,000. So while I'm trying to remain sanguine about this latest news, I'm not succeeding.

I feel like I have little choice about getting this work done promptly. I have very good dental insurance now. But I'm a 64-year-old woman in a young person's industry. I won't have this job forever, and dental isn't standard with Medicare.

I felt like I was just climbing out from under and getting my finances under control. I wasn't happy about the $5,000 for the implant, of course, but I have it. It would deplete my "rainy day" medical fund, but that gaping hole in my mouth needs to be taken care of, so it's raining. Besides, an implant is forever. Once the implant is done, that dental nightmare is over. Oh yeah, and the $5,000+ is with an assist from my very good insurance. If I put the implant off, I am risking damage to the still healthy teeth around the hole. There's no choice here. That $5,000 simply has to go to this now.

But where am I going to get the time and the money for all this upcoming dental work?

Oh well, there's nothing to be done about this right now. My dentist is going to take a closer look at all the x-rays he just took, plus his office is going to work with the insurance company. Then we're going to agree upon next steps.

Breathe, Gal, breathe. This is not the worst thing that can happen. At least there will be little or no pain this time around -- the nerves under the crowns are dead. I do have insurance. I will take care of this, because I have to.

No, it's awful

This post about work got me thinking about the first time I felt like the smartest person in the room. And I remembered how awful it was. 

I was in junior high. My dad came home from work, bubbling with news. His friend Lennie had decided to take the plunge and run for local office. My dad thought Lennie was such fun and had such great people skills, he might actually win. Wouldn't that be great?

Um, no. I'd heard Lennie's jokes. Almost all of them were at the expense of black people and the n-word usually featured prominently. I knew from my parents and from church (which my parents forced strongly encouraged me to attend) that people who used the n-word were ignorant, were hurting people, and were making the world a sadder place.

I also believed that any elected office is a public trust. I've always been a Kennedy girl -- I believe that public service is a privilege, and it's the responsibility of officeholders to work within the system to do for us what we can't do for ourselves. This has been dear to my heart my whole life. I didn't see (don't see) how a man who is contemptuous of his constituents could do this.

So I told my father that no, I thought it was disturbing that Lennie could win. That I didn't think someone who used the n-word so freely should hold political office.

My dad truly said this to me: "That will balance all those voters who say, 'Get Whitey,' won't it?"

I was dumbstruck. Literally. I had no response.

He compounded the ugliness by saying, "Hadn't thought of that, had you?" 

Congratulations on besting a 12-year-old. 

But even worse than my father's smugness and immorality was the sheer dumbness of his argument. An adult actually thought it was OK to tell a child that two wrongs make a right.

My dad was responsible for me. He was supposed to teach me how to navigate the shoals as I take off into the seas of adulthood, and this was what he came up with?

I hated knowing that, in some very important ways, I was smarter than my dad. I have never liked being the smartest person in the room. I've always found it uncomfortable and scary.

Me and my dad. It was my pivotal Jane Craig/Broadcast News moment.

Because words matter

Please join Mimi Lenox for a special Blog4Peace event this weekend. Let's fill the internet with love, support for Ukraine, and prayers for peace.

Thursday Thirteen #251

Thirteen subject lines from my spam folder. I wasn't remotely tempted to click on a single one.

1. Suffer from hernia mesh?

2.1 tbsp of this permanently eliminates nerve pain.

3. URGENT! We have been trying to reach you. Please respond.

4. Tense this muscle for 1 minute to unlock massive growth.

5. Did you know you could save on your mortgage?

6. Biblical "riddle" solved after 2,000 years.

7. This knife will turn daily food prep into an unforgettable experience.

8. Say goodbye to lines and wrinkles.

9. The secret reason you're not pooping right.

10. Diabetes gone in two days!

11. One simple change to reverse bone loss.

12. You'll never need Viagra again!

13. Insane method destroys toe and nail fungus fast!

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? Summer Secrets by Jane Green. Do you feel like winter is just hanging on too long? I do! So when the library recommended this Jane Green book to me, I snapped at it. Summer! But be warned, this is no light beach read.

It's a novel about Cat, a 30-something divorcee and recovering alcoholic. It's about family secrets and the impact yesterday has on today. It unfolds slowly, drawing you in. So far, I'm intrigued.

2. What are you currently reading? Jackie: Her Transformation from First Lady to Jackie O by Paul Brandus. This book concentrates on the five years between JFK's assassination in Dallas and Aristotle Onassis' wedding to Kennedy's widow, the most famous woman in the world, Jackie. It's about how a young mother claws her way out of depression while enduring the scrutiny of just about everyone on the planet. It's an interesting spin on an oft-told tale.

Unfortunately, I don't think it really delivers. I'm not sorry I read it. Jackie's tale is fascinating: part Jane Austen, part Jackie Collins, and all true. But there's precious little in this book that's new or particularly insightful. Maybe I've just read too much about Jackie, but there wasn't much here that wasn't recycled.

3. What will you read next? I don't know.

 

The Smartest Person in the Room

This clip from Broadcast News is me and my new boss, Marilyn. We've never had this conversation, per se. But Friday we came close.

I came up with a pair of major promotional initiatives for my client. I thought them through completely. My write ups were detailed. My boss said she didn't like my "handles" (the snappy titles) but she thought the tactics were sound.

She said she would take them to the account/strategy teams herself. Days later, when I saw the ideas after their input, I barely recognized them. New tech innovations were added that, I felt, obscured my insight. I wasn't pissed, just confused. What happened at that meeting? My boss told me she thought my ideas were valid, and now somehow they were transformed into something bigger but not (in my humble opinion) better. I know my client. I get my client. Aside from the occasional request for a Tik Tok video, they are old school. Their brand is authenticity, not innovation.

What's more, my boss told me the strategy team was going to "take it from here." They were going to take over the actual writing, creating a white paper to present to upper management, and then (with management approval) the client.

Since I'm the writer, having the strategy team take this over was insulting, I suppose. But we were on deadline, and I didn't feel like working evenings. I had other work to do (the car client reared its head and I had to come up with 1000 words on the meaning of dashboard indicator lights).  So what the hell. I no longer understood "my" ideas anymore anyway. If I was this far off, this far away from the mark, I shouldn't work on them.

Then late Friday afternoon, my boss Zoomed. Upper management had reviewed the concepts and found them lacking. Marilyn asked me to rework them. She straight faced asked me to "dial up" the insight (as if upper management had thought of it) and wanted to know how long it would take. (This was late Friday afternoon, mind you.)

"Not long at all," I said. "That's what I wrote originally." 

She made an "O" with her mouth. "Did I have that?"

Yes, the ideas I sent her nearly a week ago were almost exactly what upper management thought my client would want. They were right before she and the account and strategy teams "retooled" them. 

I resent them in an email titled, "Back to the future." Then I logged off for the weekend. 

I get paid less than my boss. I have less authority than the strategy director whose fingerprints were all over the rewrite. I should not be the smartest person in the room. It's scary to be the smartest person in the room.

Monday morning, my boss very graciously did a mea culpa and called me "clairvoyant" for being able to anticipate how this would go. I was gratified to see much of my original copy is now in the deck. Literally. ("Confronted by a dizzying array of options, consumers can feel paralyzed ...") 

But there's something very wrong with the team that's currently in place if I'm the smartest person in the room. Jane Craig was right. Sometimes it's awful to know you know best.

 

"Forever Grateful"

Last week was my work anniversary. 18 years at the same agency. That's unheard of! I never meant to be here this long. This is where my career became my job, where I stopped caring about the title or the next rung on the ladder. I've known for a while that this would be the last stop, and I'm fine with that.

There's a certain ennui to it all. Deja done that. 

Which is why this meant so much to me. Rita, my new-ish (4 months) writer sent me this fruit-and-chocolate bouquet to celebrate. About $50 out of her own pocket. She wished me a happy work anniversary and then closed with, "Thank you for taking me under your wing. Forever grateful."

I'm prouder of what she wrote than I am of anything I've written in a while.

 

Sunday Stealing

From SwapBot

1. Do you like sushi? Nope.

2. What color is your car? No car.

3. What is your favorite thing about the place where you live? My neighborhood is very diverse. Everyone is welcome here.

4. Are there brands of certain items that you will ONLY buy that brand? I am very brand loyal to Bounty and Viva paper towels.

5. Are you allergic to any food? Animals? Plants? Medicines? Meds: Thimerosal and morphine. I'm also highly allergic to bee sting.

6. Have you ever been stung or bitten by an animal? Bees. See above.

7. Do you have a favorite bird? Do you feed the bird at your house or the park? No birdhouse, but we do have a very proprietary robin in front of our building. He's always on the branch by the railing. I look for him whenever I come and go.

8. What would you recommend binging on Netflix or similar? I've been watching The West Wing on HBO Max. I remember the characters and the dialog, but not the plots, so it's a comforting mix of old and new.

 
9. What is your proudest achievement? I'm a good friend. I'm there.

10. Do you have or are you from a big family? Well, my clan has endured many divorces and remarriages, so I suppose it's big if you're flexible in your definition of "family."

11. What do you do for exercise? I do 8 minutes of stretches every morning. It will be 9 minutes in April. I'm adding a 60 seconds every month.

12. What would be your favorite breakfast? (You didn’t have to cook it yourself.) Egg and bacon with wheat toast and hashbrowns.

13. is there an item that you really want but can not afford? Can we definite "home renovations" as an "item?" There's lots I'd like to do in that regard.

14.  What was the farthest distance you made for your holidays? 1500 miles = Chicago to Key West.

15. Are you afraid of speaking in public? Depends on the audience. I'm very good at speaking to groups if it's made up of my clients. My internal team? Not so much. You'd think it would be the opposite, but it's not.

 

Sunday Salon

 

Indulging in a few scoops of sorbet. I'm reading a lighter-than-air chicklit, Back to the Burbs by Avery Flynn and Tracy Wolff. A 30-something inherits a huge ramshackle suburban disaster from her eccentric aunt. She could sell it, which makes financial sense, but instead she sets out to renovate it. This home improvement project is a metaphor for her life, which she's trying to rebuild after divorce.

I know there will be comedic mishaps as she makes the repairs. I know which new man she will fall in love with. I know she will live happily ever after. I know all this because I've seen more than one Hallmark movie in my life.

And that's fine. I'm enjoying a book that just carries me along without requiring much thought. I just finished reading Lady Bird and Lyndon by Betty Caroli. It was a terrific dual biography, with special emphasis on the First Lady.

I keep thinking about a particular part of the book. Lady Bird was 22. She'd just graduated from University of Texas with two degrees. She was financially independent, thanks to the inheritance from her mother, and was ready to go into a career in either journalism or teaching. She had a couple beaux but wasn't ready to settle down yet. She wanted to travel first. A girlfriends trip to NYC had whetted her curiosity about the world beyond Texas and now she wanted to go abroad.

But she went on a blind date with a 26-year-old congressional aid named Lyndon Johnson and within 90 days, she married him. She used part of her inheritance to finance his early campaigns. She used most of it, however, to purchase a radio station. Independent of her husband, she built a media empire that would eventually include TV stations. She was the first First Lady to be a millionaire in her own right.

Her marriage put her in the history books. She got to fulfill what she believed was her destiny. But it cost her a great deal, too. Her larger-than-life husband demanded her focus and subservience. From looking the other way at his infidelities to leaving their daughters to accompany him on the campaign trail, she put his needs before anyone else's. She never vacationed in Europe until she was a widow in her 60s, because her husband insisted it was inappropriate for the wife of an American public servant to galavant overseas.

Was it worth it to her? Did she ever wonder what her life would have been like if she married one of her college beaux and became a small-town Texas schoolteacher? I'm fascinated by how her interest in journalism led her to buying radio and TV stations. Would she have taken her mother's money and used it to become a media mogul like Katherine Graham? She used that money to finance Lyndon's dreams, but what about hers?

So after reading a biography that captured my imagination and felt like a heavy "main course," I'm cleansing my palate with a light little romance.

How about you? Do you mix up your reading or viewing? Or do you tend to stay in the same lane?

Check out other Sunday Salon participants here.