Thursday Thirteen #240

Thirteen Books I enjoyed in 2021. I read 47 books this past year. Some I loved, some were just OK. Here are the thirteen I enjoyed so much they now feel like friends.

1. The Princess Bride by William Goldman. I originally read this back in the 1970s, when I was still living at home. I loved it then, and I'm happy to report I love it now. If you have seen the movie, you only know half the story. The romance and high adventures of Buttercup and Westley are all here, but so are William Goldman's bittersweet ruminations on how different life looks to him as an adult. (I think this is the book I've given as a gift to the most people over the years.)

2. Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie. Hercule Poirot isn't on a case. He's just trying to get back to London from Istanbul. Even though the luxurious Orient Express train is fully booked, a friend, who works for the railway pulls rank and gets him onboard. There's a murder. The train is stopped by a snowdrift, so no one can get on or off. The passengers are trapped with both the corpse and the killer. And the world's most brilliant detective, who figures it all out in 250 of the most entertaining pages I read all year.

3. The Purple Diaries: Mary Astor and the Most Sensational Hollywood Scandal of the 1930s by Joseph Egan. Mary Astor was a successful and hardworking actress, best remembered today for  The Maltese Falcon and Meet Me in St. Louis. She was also unlucky in love. Widowed at just 24, she fell hard for a doctor who rocked her world. Confusing sex for love, she married impetuously and soon regretted it. Unfortunately, she and the doctor had a daughter before they realized how incompatible they were. He returned to his old girlfriend, she took a lover (a famous playwright) and they would have just gotten a sophisticated divorce ... if not for her diaries. Once the doctor found the diaries and saw how his wife had written about him, he was wounded and wanted revenge. He'd keep her diaries private if she'd give up custody of their little girl. Astor surprised him by risking her career (remember, this was the 1930s) and fighting for her daughter. The "sex diary," and what may or may not have been in it, was covered every newspaper, magazine, and radio station in the country! Studio heads actually pressured her to give up her child. She withstood it all. I liked Mary Astor for her steel spine and I appreciated how Joseph Egan brought the America of the 1930s to life.

4. Kennedy's Avenger by Dan Abrams and David Fisher. There's no question that Jack Ruby killed Lee Harvey Oswald. The shooting took place on live TV. So this account of Ruby's trial holds no suspense as far as the defendant's guilt or innocence. But Abrams and Fisher give a complete, three-dimensional view of Ruby, his crime, and the atmosphere in Dallas that ended with a conviction. A fascinating exploration of a story I thought I knew.

5. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir by R. A. Dick. A short, romantic and surprisingly spiritual novel about a meek young widow who finds herself in a secluded cottage, under the care and tutelage of a dead sea captain who sees her more clearly and understands her better than everyone she encounters in the "real world." Every Ordinary Lucy should have someone in her life who sees her as a Beautiful Lucia, even if he's a ghost.

6. Someone We Know by Shari Lapena. A twisted tale of suburban paranoia. Raleigh is a typical teenager with a gift for computers and a penchant for breaking and entering. He amuses himself by sneaking into neighbors' homes and hacking into their laptops. Raleigh doesn't do it for financial gain, just kicks. But the fun goes out of it when one of the neighbors gets dead.

7. My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing. Holy shit, this is even darker and more twisted than the Lapena book. But it has stayed with me. Our narrator adores his wife. She's a beautiful redhead, an accomplished real estate agent, a good mother to their teenagers. But the magic has gone out of their relationship. They're drifting apart. They need a hobby to bring them back closer together again. They settle on murder. By the time I was done with this book, I was freaking delighted to be a barren spinster.

8. Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho by Stephen Rebello. Psycho is a better movie than it needed to be. It could have just been a commercial slasher flick. Instead it's a haunting film, beautiful in its own way. If you care about movies and how they're made, you'll enjoy this book.

9. The Last Boy: Mickey Mantle and the End of America's Childhood by Jane Leavy. This book presents Mantle as the equal-but-opposite of that other mid-century American icon: Elvis Presley. Mickey had a sunny smile, Elvis was known for his sexy sneer. They were both insanely talented. Neither was terribly bright, and they both cracked under the pressure of adulation. Where Elvis turned to drugs, Mickey drank. They both died as parodies of their earlier, gorgeous selves (Fat Elvis, Skeletal Mickey). While this book ultimately left me sad, there is much in it that's glorious. If you love baseball like I do, you'll enjoy the insights and tales of Mantle's on field heroics. Like The Babe, Lou Gehrig and Joltin' Joe, Mickey Mantle was a Yankee Great.

10. Peyton Place by Grace Metallious. This book was a national sensation the year I was born. It spawned an Oscar-nominated movie and the first nighttime soap. It's still part of the vernacular, decades later. So I figured it was time for me to finally read it. It's much better written and far more compelling than I expected. It's not really about sex, it's about the toxicity of secrets. The courage of Selena Cross, insisting on holding her head high, confident that she'd done nothing wrong, has stayed with me. It's a far from perfect book, but certainly a compelling one.

11. Ma'am Darling: 99 Glimpses of Princess Margaret by Craig Brown. This is not a conventional, linear biography. It tells the story of Queen Elizabeth's rogue, star-crossed sister in a series of anecdotes from throughout her most public life. I enjoyed it as much for style as for content. A highly original book.

12. Paul Newman: A Life by Shawn Levy. Paul Newman's dying words to his daughters were, "It's been a privilege to be here." It seems he lived his life believing his accomplishments started with lucky breaks and he was determined to deserve them. He considered himself lucky to be born handsome, to have survived WWII without so much as a scratch, to have happened into acting, to have found great love with Joanne Woodward. He tried to earn what he'd been given through hard work and by giving a fortune to charity. He was not a perfect man, his faults are cataloged. But he seems to have been a good one. I enjoyed my time with him here as much as I enjoy his films.

13. Patriarch: The Life of Joseph P. Kennedy by David Nasaw. Even if he hadn't been father to a President, two Senators, a philanthropist and and an ambassador, Joe Kennedy's life would have merited a biography. Investor, real estate titan, and movie mogul, he wore many hats and accomplished much (but he was never a bootlegger; that myth is dispensed of rather thoroughly). He was often less than admirable, but he was never dull. His story is the story of America in the 20th century. A fascinating, sweeping story well told.

I used to TT religiously back in the day. (Here's #239.) Let's see if I can get back into the swing of it.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

Trying not to be angry

But not succeeding. I mentioned that my oldest friend has been battling a fever of unspecified origin for weeks and weeks. She also suffers from diabetes and heart disease.

When her fever spiked again on Monday, her doctor recommended she call 911.

Know what she was told? That there isn't a hospital near her with an available bed.

The hospitals in her Southern California county are simply overwhelmed by covid patients. Mostly unvaccinated covid patients. She was prescribed another round of antibiotics and will see a specialist early next week.

So her health is at risk because of the willingly unvaccinated. Let that sink it. I wonder how many other victims of their stubborn resistance are out there.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? 150 Glimpses of The Beatles by Craig Brown. The story of The Fab Four and their impact on the world, told through anecdotes from people who knew them. Or studied them. Or loved them, whether up close or from afar. It's an interesting device. Because it's not linear and the stories so very wide ranging, I am always surprised by what comes next. 

Here's a sample "glimpse" from Melanie Coe. She and Paul McCartney intersected twice. In 1963, when the Beatles were just on the cusp of superstardom and she was an affluent 14-year-old, she won a lip synch contest judged by Paul. Melanie parlayed this into a gig as a backup dancer on a BBC teen show, which sent her spinning into a sophisticated world she was unprepared for. In 1967, Paul read a story in The Daily Mail about a runaway 17-year-old girl. Melanie's father told the reporter he couldn't understand why she would leave her car, fur coat and comfortable bedroom. Not realizing this girl was the one he'd met four years before, he was inspired to write "She's Leaving Home."

As a passionate and lifelong Beatle fan, I can follow along with 150 Glimpses easily. I wonder, though, if it's as much fun for someone not as familiar with the Lads from Liverpool.

 2. What did you recently finish reading? And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. (AKA "Ten Little Indians.") What a nifty little thriller this is! Ten strangers are summoned to a luxury house on a secluded island. Three (a secretary and a maid/butler married couple) are hired to work for the couple renting the house. The other seven come from various walks of life and are lured by the mysterious, unexpected invitation for a free vacation.

Strange, but their hosts and/or employers aren't there to greet them and never show up. Horrifically, the 10 strangers find themselves being knocked off. One by one.

I knew the story when I picked this book up, having seen the two versions of the movie. I was surprised that the book ends differently. I won't give anything away, except to say that the book (while more of a downer) makes more sense. Sometimes, I'm afraid, happy endings aren't in order.

3. What will you read next? I'm not sure.

 

Why did I even look?

Looking at my old and dear friend John's Facebook page (he posted a most handsome pic in a Santa hat), I saw that he's still in contact with a woman named Pamela. I kinda/sorta remember Pamela from the long ago 1980s when John and I first met. 

For some reason, Pamela made me think of Trudy. Trudy and I worked at the same company and moved in the same crowd between 1981-1987 and were frequently rivals. We even both slept with the same guy (the one I ended up wasting my twenties with). I looked her up on Facebook and Google.

Trudy lives in Rhode Island. She moved from advertising to real estate and now she sells software. She's 65 this year, so I assume she's thinking of retiring. She's been divorced three times (!), had two children with Husband #3 (now adults), and vacationed this past summer with an age appropriate man at Glacier National Park.

I don't know how I feel about any of this. Still competitive, I guess. Trudy had a beautiful Christmas tree this year and her home looks far, far nicer than mine. On the other hand, she couldn't cut it in advertising and I'm successful. I'm not sure which is more embarrassing: to be a barren spinster or a three-time divorcee. 

Why does any of this matter to me? Here it is, the last day of my vacation, and I wasted an hour on a woman I literally haven't set eyes on in 35 years.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is just another reason why I'm in therapy.  

Sunday Stealing

Looking Back on 2021.

1. Something that made you cry this year? I had to say goodbye to my cat, Reynaldo. I adopted him as a kitten 17 years ago. I tried to give him a good life, and he was a wonderful (if frequently exhausting) roommate and I miss him.

2. Something you want to do again next year? Travel! I just got back from Key West and I have plans to attend the TCM Classic Film Festival in April. If you're not vaccinated/boosted, please reconsider. My heart will break if the Film Festival is postponed or cancelled (again) due to covid. I'm sure everyone has plans that are important to them, as well. Let's try to pull together to combat covid.

3. Talk about a new friend you made this year. Elaine from movie group. In addition to sharing my passion for classic films, she's an animal lover like I am. She's rather insisted we become friends and at first her persistence freaked me out. Now I'm glad she's in my life. She's thoughtful and positive and enthusiastic.

4. How was your birthday this year? Speaking of Elaine, we were supposed to meet for my birthday but she cancelled at the last minute because she was in a car accident. I was miserable about it in the moment, but ultimately it didn't matter. First of all, her safety and welfare are more important than my birthday dinner. Secondly, we ended up celebrating a few weeks later anyway. PS I had birthday presents to open from out-of-town family and friends and also celebrated with John and Joanna, just not on the day.

5. Favorite book you read this year? I read many I liked this year. The most interesting was My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing. A scary, creepy, thrilling book.

6. What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? I should drink more water. I unconsciously found myself reaching for milk or Coke instead of H2O. This is not good for me. I must work on that.

7. Post a picture from the beginning of the year. Toilet paper was very important in 2020, wasn't it?

8. Post a picture from the end of the year. This was the view from our table as we enjoyed lunch on Christmas Day in Key West. The Gulf of Mexico was beautiful, and I was with people I love.

9. A memorable meal this year? The best burger I had all year was at Bites, an Asian restaurant. I know, I know. I should order the crab rangoon or sushi rolls. But I'm telling you, their burgers are freaking AWESOME!

10. What are you excited about for next year? Making improvements. I want to make incremental changes to my health/wellness routine and my home that will make will make me happier.

11. What’s something you learned this year? That this pandemic has been hard on everyone. That everyone feels they have lost something. We need to be kinder to one another.

12. What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? Sorry, but I don't understand this question, since now is the start of the year.

13. Favorite place you visited this year? I went to Wrigley Field with my nephew in July. It's been my favorite place all my life, and he's one of my favorite people.It was also the last time I would ever see my favorite-most ballplayer, Anthony Rizzo, as a Cub.

14. Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I don't recall making any.

15. Will you make New Year's Resolutions for 2022? Not per se, but I do aim to move more and drink more water.

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: The Promise of a New Day (1991)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

 

Welcome to the first Saturday 9 of 2022.

1) In this song, Paula Abdul celebrates the promise of a new day. Here at Saturday 9, we're celebrating the promise of a new year. What do you hope 2022 will bring? For the world I hope everyone takes steps to save their own lives and the lives of their neighbors by getting vaccinated/boosted against covid. For myself, I hope for greater peace of mind.

 

2) She sings that we should see the wisdom from mistakes of the past. What wisdom did you gain in 2021? I don't know if this is wisdom, exactly, but I have become more sensitive. More compassionate. There's an old country song based on a Bible verse: "Walk a Mile in My Shoes." The lyrics say, "Before you abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes." I've heard this sentiment my whole life, yet for some reason in 2021 it finally resonated. I think it's a combination of battling covid myself at the end of 2020, and an exercise initiated by my congregation. I hope to carry this with me for the rest of my life.

 

3) What is something you'd like to spend more time doing in 2022? Drinking water. Does that sound dumb? I find I no longer like the taste of my good old Lake Michigan tap water. (Another after effect of covid?) Unless I consciously think about it, I reach for hot tea, milk or (worst of all) Coke instead of water. I think I may be dehydrated, which exacerbates my creaky joints. So I'm going into 2022 with a drawer of bottled water in my refrigerator.

 
4) Paula Abdul was once a "Laker Girl" and performed at L.A. Laker games. Do you have a favorite NBA team? Nope. I'm always thinking about baseball and don't have room in my heart for any other sport. (Just exchanged texts with my newly-minted sportswriter nephew about the MLB lockout. No end in sight. Sigh ...)

 

5) In 2009, she hosted RAH!, an elite cheer leading competition.  Do you remember any cheers from your school years? We used to do this one as our team was preparing for a free throw. It could be why we seldom won: "15 rahs for the Bulldog Team: Hey rah, rah, rah-rah-rah! Hey rah, rah, rah-rah-rah! Hey rah, rah, rah-rah-rah!"

6) While famous for performing, Paula has arguably been more successful for her work behind the scenes, winning an Emmy for her choreography. Are you comfortable being the center of attention? Or would you rather work behind the scenes? I've become more of a performer in the later years of my career. Part of it is that I've built a relationship with client, and I know they want to like my work which makes me eager to share it with them. Part of it that I know my creative partner doesn't want to present.

 

7) She taught actor Val Kilmer how to dance for his role as Jim Morrison in the biopic The Doors. What talent, knowledge or advice have you recently shared? Actually I'm trying not to share advice anymore! In the past year I've become very discouraged by my friend Henry and a former coworker, Warren. Both men seem so unhappy with their lives right now, lonely with too much time on their hands. I've recommended to both of them that they volunteer in their neighborhoods. I find helping others to be so satisfying and I tried to share that. I even researched charities for both of them. They both just give me excuses. Now that I've tried, I have to give up. As my friend Patrick tells me, quoting Al-Anon, I must "detach with love" and let them learn from their mistakes. (I am not good at this. Not at all. But I see the wisdom, even as I struggle with it emotionally.)

8) Paula was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in 2005 and uses a prescription biologic every day to help her cope with pain in her toes. On your last trip to the drug store, did you pick up a prescription, or something else? Bottled water (see #3) and a can of Spaghetti-ohs for the food pantry. (Kids love Spaghetti-ohs.)

9) Random question: You have been house-hunting for months. You finally find your dream home and are just about to say "yes" when you spot a mouse scurrying across the floor. Would you take the house anyway? Probably. But I would mention it before the final home inspection. I'd want to know how Mickey is getting in and how much it will cost to fix the problem so I can adjust the price.

 
 

My New Year's Eve Date

Ben Mankiewicz is the prime-time host on TCM. A group of us classic movie nerds (including Will from my movie group) watched him introduce the first of six Thin Man films and then we live-tweeted. Before the movie started, I treated myself to a steak, mashed potatoes, and bread pudding. I was going to have a drink at midnight, but didn't get around to it. As I compose this post, I'm in clean pajamas and fresh sheets, because that's how I want to wake up on New Year's Day.

Last year I didn't do anything for New Year's Eve because I was emerging from covid. I realized that I'm fine doing nothing on New Year's. In 2020, missing my birthday broke my heart; no Thanksgiving was a definite bummer; the curtailed Christmas left me a little melancholy. But doing nothing on New Year's? It didn't bother me. This year it felt prudent and safe.

I think I have stumbled upon a new tradition.

By the way, Ben Mankiewicz has better hair than any New Year's date I ever had in my long, real life.

Just naturally blabby, I guess

 Butch Cassidy: How come you're so talkative?

Sundance: Just naturally blabby, I guess.

My oldest friend and I dearly love that movie. Maybe it's because it stars the two coolest guys ever. Or maybe it's because we're both just naturally blabby. Since last Thursday, we've clocked well over 3 hours on the phone.

She's been sick for weeks. She began running a fever just before her birthday (12/11) and couldn't shake it until the day after Christmas. She's tested negative twice for covid, so that's good news. Bloodwork has also eliminated leukemia, which is very good news.  While we know what she doesn't have, we don't know what she does have. After the new year, she needs to see a rheumatologist. Her GP suspects she has some autoimmune disorder. Considering her symptoms -- fever, chills, fatigue, hair loss, weight gain -- I suspect Hashimoto's disease. I'm keeping my Google search diagnosis to myself, since it's possible/likely I don't know what I'm talking about. She has two other serious chronic conditions -- diabetes and heart disease -- so whatever it is, it should be treated promptly. However, it's not covid or leukemia, and so we have reason to think positive.

While depression has been decades long struggle for her, she seems to be in a good place now and I enjoy her so much. No one makes me laugh harder than she does. Also, since we've known each other since Kindergarten, we have each other's history. The older I get, the more I appreciate that.

So this morning, I'm happy/sad. Happy because I feel that over this holiday season, we really re-connected. Sad because she's not well. I hope that, as she take off on her journey to wellness, she'll continue to feel blabby.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. I don't usually read mysteries back to back, but while reading The Sugar Cookie Murder (below), I was reminded of this wonderful old Christie chestnut. What if you were trapped inside with a group and knew one of them was a murderer ... but didn't know which one? In the right hands, that's scary stuff.

It's no reflection on Joanne Fluke that Dame Agatha does it better. She used this device in Murder on the Orient Express (train) and then in And Then There Were None (a deserted island). 

I've seen both movie versions of this story many times so I know the outline well. Yet I'm very, very into it. There's a luxury mansion on a secluded island. Everyone in the UK is talking about it. Who is renting it this month? A movie star? Put in today's terms, pretend it's a house a Kardashian used to live in. 

Anyway the mysterious Mr. and Mrs. Owen have rented it and hired a couple to maintain it, as well as a secretary for Mrs. Owen. They did all this through correspondence. Neither the butler/maid nor the secretary have met their new employers. Invitations went out to seven strangers who can't figure out why the Owens have chosen them for a visit, but they're too drawn by the mystery, glamour and luxury to say no to the free vacation.

Ten people arrive at the island mansion, but Mr. and Mrs. Owen are not there. There's only one way off the island, by boat, and the boat won't be there again for days. (Since this is 1939, it's not like anyone can use their cellphones.) And now, one by one, the ten begin to die.

Hooked yet? I am.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Sugar Cookie Murder by Joanne Fluke. This seasonal murder mystery is long on Christmas spirit and short on murder. Know that going in.

Hannah lives in a small town in Minnesota. All the citizens are inside the school for a holiday testing and tasting party. The best recipes will make The Lake Eden Holiday Buffet Cookbook. Snowfall turns into a blizzard and it looks like everyone will be snowed in with music, good friends, great food and ... a murderer! For Hannah finds a corpse in the parking lot, and the killer could not have made it through the drifts surrounding the school.

I enjoyed the interaction among the characters. This is my first foray into the world of Lake Eden and got a kick out of everyone. The mystery itself? Eh. I was more interested in the romance between Hannah and Officer Mike. I wish there'd been more plot ... and more kissing!

 

3. What will you read next? I don't know for sure, but I'm ready for non-fiction.

 

Christmas Eve/Christmas Day 2021

The happiest I saw Henry was at church on Christmas Eve. He seems to feel he belongs with his congregation. He's lonely and rudderless since quitting his job, but among his fellow church members, he seems more comfortable and even a little happy. "Happy" is in short supply in Henry's and Reg's lives.

I loved it, too. Rev. Steve is very warm and a good speaker. His Christmas message was so positive. He likened each of us to the star that led the wise men. When we act out of love, we become like the celestial phenomenon that lights the path for others. When we find ways to love and grow, we lead the way. I love that sentiment. We can show we're grateful to God by being good to others and lighting their path with kindness.

After the service Henry and I had a fancy, if disturbing, dinner. He ordered the octopus appetizer, telling me over and over how excited he was to see it on the menu. His mother made octopus all the time and he always enjoyed it. I ordered the coconut shrimp entree with a side of rice. When our plates came to the table, Henry took mine. Now I've never had octopus before, but I know what rice looks like, so I know he took my plate. I didn't want to embarrass him, so I let it go. He ate my coconut shrimp and declared it just like the octopus his mother used to make. As I ate his octopus (which tasted like mussels), I found myself getting progressively freaked out. Our dinner conversation wasn't any more festive. He was dismissive of my fears about crime in Chicago. He insisted it really isn't that bad, that Miami is worse. It was freaky. He moved from Chicago decades ago and hasn't even visited in 17 years. He's never lived in Miami. What the fuck? I was happy when Reg joined us for coffee and finished Henry's plate. He never had octopus before and was surprised it was cooked with coconut (!).

Why must Henry argue about everything? Why does he think he understands what it's life to live in post-pandemic Chicago, or Miami? And why can't he taste the difference between octopus grilled with lemon and coconut shrimp? 

Because he's living with a traumatic brain injury. 

Talking to him is unpleasant and exhausting. I love him, of course. I was happy to try to be there for him, and to give him companionship and to give Reg a break. But I understand why he's lonely. Just conversing with is work. No wonder people no longer seek him out. I wish he was happier. I wish his brain worked. 

Christmas was only marginally better. Both Henry and Reg were emotional, missing their families (Henry's in Puerto Rico hadn't called for either his birthday or Christmas; or if they did, he missed the call and didn't check his voicemail). I realize Christmas can be a melancholy time, so I tried to cut them slack and I dialed up my own merry.

We had a light lunch at a beautiful setting on the Gulf of Mexico. 

Isn't this gorgeous?

Henry and Reg decided against gifts and that was fine. It was enough that we were together. Patrick and I exchanged, though. I had a mug made for him -- pictures of him all over Key West that will remind him of his "island home" when he returns to Maine. He gave me a book about movie making, told in anecdotes from the experts. The only really weird part was that Henry kept insisting that while he was enjoying his lobster quesadilla, it was nowhere near as good as the octopus he'd had the night before (I'm not kidding).

I had a turkey club sandwich. Hey! It's Christmas and I demand turkey! Because it was my last big meal in Key West, I went old school. I had a Key Lime Colada with my lunch and Key Lime Pie for dessert. (I like green.)

Our car was parked near the Custom House, a beautiful building that's home to the Key West Art and Historical Society. Out front is a bronze sculpture Pondering the Benefits of Exercise by Seward Johnson. I got such a kick out of it. I always like his work.

It was a good Christmas. Not a perfect Christmas, but it doesn't have to be perfect to be a good Christmas. Me and Patrick, Reg and Henry. We all love each other. That's what's important. I just hope 2022 is happier for those guys.

Duval: Where delightful meets despicable

Duval is the main drag. Key West's top tourist trap. I've always loved it. Henry, Reg and Patrick avoid it whenever possible, but not this girl. I'm only in town for a few days and I'm not going to pretend to be a local. I'm a Chicago girl on vacation so bring on the jewelry kiosks and the cafes and souvenir shops!

This year was different though. Disturbing. I've been going to Key West and doing The Duval Crawl for, literally, decades. The t-shirts have always been, in my mother's word, "smutty." Save a horse, ride a beard. Mustache rides: 25¢. They call me drywall because I'm well hung. You get the idea.

This year they are far filthier. Donald Trump flipping the bird with: Impeach this. Joe Biden with: Not My President. "I don't need sex. The government fucks me every day." Yes, this ugliness is for sale next to the muumuus and the sea shell earrings.

I walked this street when George W. Bush was President. When Obama was President. When Trump was President. Sex sold better than politics in those days, I guess. Or maybe the loyal opposition wasn't this hateful.

I also saw our fellow citizens not wearing masks but proudly wearing all manner of "Let's Go Brandon." Worst of all, I actually saw a man with a shirt emblazoned with an automatic weapon and the question: "Does my patriotism offend you?" No, but I'm offended that you equate a gun with burst mode with love of country. 

Hillary Clinton may have been inartful when she referred to these people as "deplorable," but she wasn't wrong.

Oh well, it made my shopping easier. I refuse to spend my money in a store that sells this filth. I'll take sex over hate any day. Isn't capitalism great?

On the plus side -- and nothing is ever all bad -- I found this place. Dancing Fingers Massage was delightful. New to me and a godsend! Clean, affordable and quiet. The 15-minute foot massage was only $20. I felt positively rejuvenated. I'm only sorry I didn't discover them earlier in the week. The flight down was 3 1/2 hours spent folded virtually in half. I think I could have benefited from Dancing Fingers on my back, too!

My oasis!

Here's a happy new year sign. At midnight on New Year's Eve, a drag queen named Sushi will descend from this 8 foot stiletto to ring in 2022. Now this is the Key West I know and love!

 And where else but Duval can you see a cigar that looks like Elvis?

Mrs. Always-Right takes the waters

My 2021 nail color is Essie Mrs. Always-Right. One of the beauty sites calls it a "fierce terracotta rose pink cream nail polish." I like it because it doesn't chip and looks good with both my blue and black sandals.

This year Mrs. Always-Right didn't venture very far into the Atlantic Ocean. The first three days I was there (Wednesday through Friday), the temperature didn't make it past 75º. I love that sunny, warm-but-not-hot weather but it didn't inspire to me go running into the sea.

No one else seemed so inspired, either. Here's the scene by the Southernmost Beach Resort. You'll see chairs as close to the water as possible, but not a single soul wading in. 

But I'm my own girl. I rolled up my jeans and let my toes experience the salt water and sand. I also think this is where I got a bug bite. For some reason, I'm always the one who gets bit. I get raised bumps and this one ended up developing into a bloody rash. (Don't worry, I didn't memorialize it with a photo.) Not painful, really. Just itchy and I was glad it was covered by one of the straps of my sandals.

On Christmas Day, we had something of a Christmas miracle and the mercury rose close to 80º. It gave me a chance to put on my suit and take Mrs. Always-Right to the hotel pool.

 

This was the view when I was doing the backstroke

I like snow. In the winter, it feels right and natural. But I want to remember doing the backstroke on Christmas morning and seeing the sun bearing down on me through leaves and fronds. For people in Key West, this is right and natural, too. And it's all beautiful.

Henry's birthday

December 22 was Henry's 59th birthday. I'm glad I arrived in Key West in time to celebrate with him. He's been quite lonely since he left his job at the library last spring. I hope my presence made him feel a little less alone.

Henry and their friend Patrick met my flight. (Very smooth, non-stop!) Henry's husband Reg was waiting in the car. He dropped us off at my hotel and then went back to work, promising to pick us up in time for dinner at Henry's favorite restaurant.

We had a nice lunch. Henry seemed to be in good spirits, even though he was unhappy about turning 60. Understandable, I suppose, except that he's not 60. I know because I'm 64 and he's 5 years younger. I asked him for his drivers license and showed him he was born in 1962. He says it "doesn't matter" because he "feels 60." Oh, Henry. This is just a taste of what our visit would be like.

But still, Henry was happy with his present. I got him a mug, personalized with a photo of him, Reg and his dear friend Sherry. I explained it was to remind him of how much love he has in his life. I also gave him a $25 gift card to Banana Republic. There's a factory outlet store on Duval. I knew Henry wouldn't have purchased a Christmas present for Reg and I thought picking something up at the pre-Christmas sale would cheer him up. Henry chose a gold polo, explaining that Reg only wears black and Henry was sure he'd look handsome in the brighter color. I thought that was so romantic, after all these years and all they have been through, that he likes how his husband looks in lighter and brighter shades.

Dinner was fine. I thought Henry was drinking too much -- he had two pinot grigios with lunch and another two at dinner! -- but he seemed happy, if a little subdued. Henry was sitting at one side of the table between Reg and Sherry. I was happy to be sitting with Patrick. He's a smart man who makes me laugh.

After dinner I went back to my room and decorated for Christmas. My Santa door hanger, plus a tiny nativity, a kitty ornament (because I missed Connie and Roy Hobbs) and a photo of me and my favorite grandpa. My aunt gave me the framed picture last month for my birthday and looking at it makes me happy.

Saturday 9

SATURDAY 9: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

1. As you can see, when Sam Winters was a little girl, she loved giving her annual wish list to Santa. If you could ask Santa for anything at all, right now, what would it be? A coupon for free handyman service, and then the time to get the work scheduled and done. There are so many things I'd like to have done around here!

2. Are you currently on the Naughty or Nice list? How did you get there? 

The day Roy Hobbs and I met

I put myself on the Nice list because I adopted Roy Hobbs and I'm committed to giving him a good life. He suffered abuse at his previous home, but as long as I'm alive, he's safe.

3. Are you traveling this Christmas? If so, are you going by car, plane or train? I'm flying 1550 miles to Key West. I'm very excited that I got nonstop flights to and fro! I hate flying, and not having to change planes is a blessing.

4. Did you buy yourself a gift this year? Yes. I ordered two sweaters from ThredUp. I like buying from there because it's good value and good for the environment.

5. What's your favorite holiday-themed movie or TV special? Have you seen it yet this year? It's Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. I found it on Peacock and watched it over and over as I wrote my holiday cards. (I do dearly love having a gazillion channels.)

6. Which do you prefer: candy canes or gingerbread? Gingerbread.

7. Close your eyes and tell us the first carol that comes to mind. "Silent Night." I miss Christmas Eve service at my own church, where we close with "Silent Night" by candlelight.

8. What's your favorite winter beverage? Bigelow Salted Caramel Tea. My aunt sends it to me every year for my November birthday and it carries me through the cold weather months.

9. What do you remember most about the 2020 holiday season? I was recovering from covid last year and celebrated with my nephew, my niece, and her husband over Zoom. Thank God for the vaccine and the booster! Hopefully with Pfizer, masks and hand sanitizer, that nightmare is behind me for good.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? Sugar Cookie Murder by Joanne Fluke. This seasonal mystery is the sixth book in a series that's new to me. So far, I'm not lost.

 

Hannah lives in a small town in Minnesota. The task that's consuming her at the beginning of the story -- and the vehicle for introducing us to the characters -- is collecting and preparing recipes that will be tested, tasted and included in the town's Christmas cookbook. If you think a little too much attention is paid to serving utensils, you'll soon see why. A jeweled knife is used to kill one of the town's newer and more mysterious residents. 

 

In addition to the murder, there's romantic intrigue, an expectant mother and snow. Formulaic? Yes. But we wouldn't have it any other way in cozy Christmas mystery, would we?

2. What did you recently finish reading? The Matzah Ball by Jean Meltzer. Rachel Rubinstein-Goldblatt writes Christmas romance novels under a pseudonym, and without the knowledge of her rabbinical family. Her publisher is looking for diversity and wants Rachel's next book to be a Hanukkah romance. This puts her square in the path of her adolescent crush/summer camp nemesis, Jacob Greenberg, now a prominent event planner, throwing New York's premier Hanukkah event. 

Will they find love? OF COURSE THEY WILL! It's a holiday romance! I demand that they find love!

 

I really liked Rachel. She was a unique heroine, smart but flawed, highly relatable. Her world is filled with similarly imperfect people who love her. So I really wanted to like this book. Alas, the last third pissed me off. 

 

It took sooooooo long to wind up, to deliver that happy ending we have long seen coming. Jacob keeps reminding us that this is the same Rachel he fell in love with at Camp Ahuvah. Those eyes! That hair! OK, that's just weird. They spent three weeks together when they were 12. They didn't even speak for 18 years. Now at 30, he's in love with that little girl again? Plays a prank on her as though they were still in junior high? Proposes to her right away? Creepy. His backstory tells us that the summer at Camp Ahuvah was the last happy one of his childhood. OK, but still. He's a 30-year-old, gorgeous (and dimpled) multi-millionaire. His stunted approach to women is oooky. Run, Rachel, run!

 

Some of the humor is golden, but other bits fall flat. I didn't enjoy Rachel, who suffers from a chronic illness, bouncing around in a matzah ball suit and climbing through windows while wearing a ball gown and fuzzy slippers. If this stuff happened to Lucy Ricardo it might be funny. Making Rachel the butt of this physical humor felt cruel.

 

Here's the thing, though: If I didn't like Rachel so much, if she hadn't been so neatly and completely drawn, I wouldn't have been so annoyed. So obviously it's a well-written book. If you can overlook what I couldn't (and perhaps I overthink), you may enjoy this romance.

 

3. What will you read next? I don't know. Am I ready to move on from Christmas? We'll see.

Guess who's done working for the year

That would be ME! Yay! My final presentation of the year -- 90 minutes (!) on Friday -- went well, despite the mandatory technical glitches. At one point, when I apologized for the echo on my audio, my main client said, "Gal, you are doing splendidly well." What a kind man. My new boss, Marilyn, was in cyber attendance and seemed pleased enough. Still don't know what to make of her. On the one hand, she promised to, in her words, "stay out of my shit" and then she turned around and interfered. I'm trying not to overthink this. We've known each other less than a month. Maybe we'll be OK. And if not, well, I'm on VACATION, so no point worrying, right?

Especially when I have these other things to worry about.

1) You wouldn't believe where I grew a pimple. It's probably nothing, but it hurts. If it's still painful after January 1, I'll have to call my doctor, even though it's gonna be embarrassing.

2) Covid concerns. Dammit, I've been vaccinated and boosted! So why on earth should I still be worried? Because approximately 40% of the country is selfish, chickenshit or misinformed and insists on putting the rest of us at risk. Gee, thanks. I picked up a home test and will take it as soon as I get back from my trip. (I'm glad I ordered ahead; by the time I got to Walgreens to pick it up, the shelves were empty!) I had the virus and I don't want to inflict it on someone else. I'll happily quarantine, even if I'm asymptomatic.

3) Henry and Reg. They're not getting along. Reg is tired, working two jobs and bearing the sole responsibility for making every substantial decision for them as a couple. Henry is unmoored and lonely. Since retirement, his life doesn't have the structure he needs. Hopefully this Christmas, Reg's friend Patrick and I will provide much needed social lubricant to the gears. (If you saw Get Back, you'll know what I mean when I liken Patrick and me to Ringo and Billy Preston.)

On the other hand, here's what I have to be happy about.

1) Connie and Roy Hobbs are getting along well. They will be completely alone together for three days and so this is a comfort. It's funny to watch them. Roy Hobbs is literally twice her size, and yet she is so very much the alpha. She decides when they play and what they play, and it cracks me up to see my little girl chase that big boy into the closet and playfully decide when she'll "allow" him to come back out.

2) My nephew's news still has me smiling. I'm so glad I just so happened to get him a baseball-related Christmas gift! I'm going to see him, my niece and her hubs to celebrate Christmas tomorrow night. I love them so much and am really grateful I'm still relevant in their lives.

3) Wrapping! It always reminds me of my mom because this was the chore she handed off to me when I was in junior high. I'm going to put on my movie group's Christmas movie of the week (The Bishop's Wife) and get to it.

4) It's 9:30 and I'm still in my pajamas!