Sunday Stealling

Sunday Stealing: The Meme From Memphis 
(part one)

Be honest, who texted you last? My friend Tom.

Do you sleep with the bedroom door open or closed? Open.

Do you drink tea? Not very often.

Do you have plans for tomorrow? Monday it's back to work and back to the project that's due for internal review on (gulp!) Wednesday.

What’s worse: dry skin or chapped lips? I'm suffering from both right now. I'll vote that chapped lips are worse because at least the maddeningly dry spot between my shoulders doesn't show.

Would you be surprised if Facebook started charging? Charging individuals? Yes. Charging businesses? No.

Would you rather go to Canada or California on vacation? California, because my oldest friend lives there and we had fun when I visited her last fall.
 
How many social media sites are you registered with? Three: Linkedin, Twitter and FB.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants? Jeans

So, what if you changed lives for one day with the last person you texted? That would be Tom, which would mean I'd suddenly be a newly-engaged thirtysomething Cuban American man, instead of a fiftysomething pale-as-paper old chick. I might like having some color to my skin.

Last person you told a secret to? Tom again! Third Tom answer this meme. I told him a secret, but I must confess he didn't care.

What are you listening to at the moment? I've got the TV on.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? I crashed on the sofa. I hate it when I do that.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? Romantically? No. Emotionally? My best friend.

Are you going to any concerts this year? If Bruce Springsteen's tour comes through Chicago again.

Do you believe in Karma? Yes.

The final shot

Just watched George Clooney's Ides of March again. That last shot, where once idealistic Ryan Gosling silently stares into the camera while listening to the candidate's platitudes in his head and wonders what they've both become, reminds me of another final scene …

Michael Clayton, where George Clooney is alone with his thoughts in a cab, wondering what he's become.

Clooney directed Ides of March after working with Tony Gilroy on Michael Clayton, so I don't think the similarity is an accident. I suspect it's an homage. A risky one, at that.

It works more successfully in Michael Clayton because Michael Clayton is simply a better movie than Ides of March. It's about something, whereas Ides of March is at heart just a thriller, so that self reflective last shot feels inauthentic. And Ryan Gosling -- hottie though he is -- is not yet actor Clooney is and Clooney -- hottie though he is -- is not yet the director Gilroy is.

Still, it was an entertaining movie to rewatch and I enjoy Clooney's career soooo much. The boy ingenue who was a supporting character on The Facts of Life has turned into a movie-making presence. The new Robert Redford. (Not that the original Robert Redford is done. His new movie, The Company You Keep, will be in limited release next month.)

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Midnight Train to Georgia
 

1) Have you ever been to the Atlanta? In the city proper? Only the airport. But I have gone from Hartsfield to a town called Braselton, home of the completely wonderful Chateau Elan Spa. I'd love to return there someday (maybe 2015?).

 
2) Do you enjoy traveling by train? Yes. I take the el to and from work each day and enjoy taking short trips by Amtrak. It's relaxing.

 
3) "Midnight Train to Georgia" is Sam Winters' signature number at the karaoke bar. What's your go-to song when you take the mic? I don't have one because I'm utterly tone deaf. So instead I'll share my best friend's favorite karaoke song -- "Friends in Low Places."

4) Do you drink tea? Only occasionally. On mega cold mornings.

5) What's the most recent thing you purchased for your home? A shower curtain liner.

 
6) Are there dishes in your kitchen sink right now?
Yes. Always.

7) Have you ever been fingerprinted? Yes. When I refinanced my condo, the loan officer took my thumb print.

 
8) What was the last check you wrote? To the electric company.

9) What color are your eyes? Green

"More exceptional in every way than you know"

Gulp. That's how my shrink described me as I was walking out the door at the end of our final office session.

It began as a pretty ordinary session. I told her I needed new coping mechanisms. My officemate plays the ukulele at her desk, just feet away from me. When she's not annoying me, she's insulting me ("You couldn't be on What Not to Wear. You don't dress badly enough."). My oldest friend decided we were spending a week together this summer -- in August, Chicagoland's hottest and most hellacioius month -- even though this is not when I want to take off and it's not how I want to spend my time and money. My friend John had us traipsing up and down Randolph Street in search of the "right" place to have a burger and a beer -- even though we passed some perfectly adequate bars and restaurants. It all annoys me. I'm annoyed a good portion of my day. I wake up annoyed, I go to sleep annoyed. How can I dis-annoy myself?

She told me that maybe I'm annoyed not because my reactions are outsized but because the people around me have been annoying. Maybe the problem is the way I'm being treated. I so hate bullies and bullying that I often let people who appear weak and vulnerable get the better of me, and then I'm willing to blame myself completely for the situation. She told me other people's chaotic lives don't entitle them to disregard my feelings.

Then it was time for us to end. Our last session was over. She gave me her cell phone number and told me that within about a month -- after she's settled in her new home/office -- to see if I want to schedule a phone consult.

And then she said it. She's confident I'll be fine because I'm "more exceptional in every way" than I know. Wow.

This all feels very big and important. I just wanted to get it all down. I'll process it some other time.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #213

THE "YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT" EDITION

I know I have to lose weight. I want to lose weight. I understand what I have to do to lose weight -- which is eat less and move more. And yet I am somehow not prepared to do what it takes to achieve the results I want.

And so, starting next week, I am going to begin taking my food diary more seriously. And I'm using this week's TT to make myself examine the fuel I put into the machine I live in.

THE LAST 13 THINGS I HAVE CONSUMED

1) Coke
2) Cheeseburger
3) French Fries
4) Cranberry Juice and Vodka
5) Tuna Salad
6) Apple
7) Starbucks Tall Hot Chocolate (skim milk, no whipped cream)
8) Coke
9) Milk
10) Coke
11) Peel-and-eat shrimp
12) Corn
13) Beef/barley soup

Clearly I have to pay as much attention to what I drink as what I eat!

How about you? Does your diet enhance your health … or get in the way?

For more about the Thursday 13, 

or to play along yourself, click here.

I admit I'm hooked

There's a snowstorm going on outside my window. The first bona fude snow storm of the season! And all I can think about is -- do I have enough Coke at home? I'd hate to run out and not be able to get to the store to restock.

Same as it ever was

There has been much ridiculous criticism of Michelle Obama for appearing on this year's Oscar telecast. It wasn't "appropriate." "No other First Lady ..." It's all nonsense, of course. As First Lady, Nancy Reagan not only appeared on Diff'rent Strokes, she posed sitting upon Mr. T's lap and gave lengthy interviews to her friend, talk show host Merv Griffin. While President, her husband called a few innings of a Cub game at Wrigley Field alongside Harry Caray. As First Lady, Barbara Bush appeared with Big Bird on Sesame Street and she and her Presidential hubs attended the CMA awards. So this negative chatter about Michelle Obama is just partisan bullshit. No surprise there.

As always when the talk turns to First Ladies, my mind wanders back to my all-time idol, JBKO. She never appeared on an awards show but she does have the distinction of being the only First Lady to ever win an Emmy. It's on display at the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum (where I swiped this photo). She won it for her televised Tour of the White House, highlighting her restoration of The People's House.

Jackie was like every other First Lady in that, during her time, she was slagged relentlessly in the press. She was so popular internationally that The State Department took her televised tour and added subtitles so they could honor requests for it from all over the world -- including the Soviet Union. But here at home, The Jackie Show, as it was condescendingly called, received a ton of criticism. She was "stiff" and "phony." Her breathy voice was parodied in a top-selling, award-winning comedy album called The First Family.

First Lady is a thankless job. It has no job description and no official responsibilities and yet somehow, no matter how each woman performs it, she's doing it "wrong."

Jackie was so self-contained that it's always been easy to assume she was immune to the criticism. But she wasn't, because she loved her husband. As she said in her own words, she worried about being a political liability because of all the people who "didn't like your hair, that you spoke French, that you just didn't adore campaigning or didn’t bake bread with flour up your arms." I bet every woman who was ever mistress of The People's House loved her husband, and felt that same anxiety. 

And that's probably part of why no First Lady has ever looked into a camera or a reporter's face and said, "Screw you all!"

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The 5000 Question Meme, Part Five 

101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically? There's a lightness to it as tension melts to make way for euphoria.

 

102. List five things you love starting with the one you love the absolute most.

A  Books

B Cats

 

C Cubs -- Opening Day at Wrigley Field is Monday, April 8!

 
D Movies

E Alone time


103. How many movies have you gone to see this year? So far in 2013 I think I've only seen three, but they have been stellar: Les Miz, Silver Linings Playbook and Amour

104. If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for? This Recession has been brutal for many around me, so: 1) A job for my best friend; 2) A job for my former boss; 3) A financial windfall for my underemployed friend in the Keys

105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense? Cardio helps, if I can get off my fat ass and get to the club. I've been napping a lot. I have been known to turn to vodka (year round) or Bailey's Irish Creme (winter/spring).

106. How much money would it take to get you to sell your blog address? It would depend on who wants it and why.

107. Have you ever been hunting? NO!

108. Have you attempted this 5000 question meme in the past? Only if it was part of a previous Sunday Stealing.

109. What do you think of cloning? I don't. I mean, it's not a subject that interests me much. Like life on other planets, it only comes to mind when I'm asked about it in memes.

110. Do you read or watch TV more often? Yes. It seems I'm always doing one, the other, or both.

111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety? No. If we give up our rights and freedoms we become like those who try to defeat us. Of course, I don't think it's a right to board a plane or enter a skyscraper without going through security.

112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive? Trial and imprisonment. People I respect have pointed out that my way would give him a platform (at a trial, he'd have the right to testify and then he could give jailhouse interviews a la Charles Manson). So maybe his ugly story ended the only way it could. Still, there is no way I'm going to applaud the murder of another human being -- regardless of who that person is. I can accept that it may have been a necessity but I refuse to cheer it. That goes against Christian teachings and I simply won't do it.

113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body? No

114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? Election night 1992, Bill Clinton's Chicago campaign headquarters on Michigan Avenue. The local ABC affiliate showed campaign workers viewing his acceptance speech, and I was in the front row because I'm so short. My mom saw me.

115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes? More than 20 years ago I won $6,000 in the Illinois State Lottery. I was excited about the $6,000 for getting 4 of the 5 numbers, till  my boyfriend pointed out I was 1 digit away from $2 million.

116. Have you ever won a contest or competition? In third grade I won an essay writing contest sponsored by the local newspaper.

117. Have you ever watched The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross (check out this link if you don't know who he is.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross_(painter)? No

118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living? My grandfathers worked together twice -- first doing construction on a WPA (Works Progress Administration) Project during the Depression, and then at a factory that made train engines. It was a small town so obviously they knew each other, but they had nothing to do with my parents getting together. (My mom and dad met at a party.) My maternal grandmother worked in the office at that same plant for a while, then had a number of retail jobs. My dad's mom worked but as a volunteer at church and the Girl Scouts. She was tireless and even though she wasn't paid, she worked hard and made very valuable contributions.

119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? My grandfather vs the Nazis. Grandpa left Germany, alone, right before Hitler began his reign of terror. While he was penniless here, he came from money -- his father (my great grandfather) was a wealthy orchestra conductor. My grandpa had a really awful falling out with his parents (he refused to talk about it to anyone but my grandmother, who honored his request and kept his secret), never corresponded with them and certainly never asked them for money, even during the Depression while he was working so hard to care for his family. 

Anyway, my great grandparents died together in a car accident and left their fortune to their only child, my grandfather. The catch: he would have to go to Munich to claim the money. By now the Germans had invaded Prague so the war was beginning, even though America wasn't yet in it. Our government advised my grandfather not to make the trip because the Nazis would likely not acknowledge his American citizenship and draft him. So my grandfather had to pass on the money, which was then lost to him forever, even though he suffered many sleepless nights about how he was going to feed his kids. 

Usually a very happy man, Grandpa's mood got very dark whenever I asked him about his parents and Germany. "What difference does it make?" he'd ask. "We're here now." There was no one more patriotic about the United States than my grandpa. He always self-identified as American. Not "German-American." Just American. He had no use for his homeland.

120. Is there anyone you trust completely? My best friend

I am smiling

Yes, it's Saturday night and my tummy is killing me. But still, my mood is pretty good. Here's what I'm smiling over:

•  "She said yes." I have heard from Tom a lot today. He's the coworker we lost to layoffs nearly two weeks ago. His first concern. even before he opened his packet and saw how much severance he was receiving, was his girlfriend. They're both in their 30s and she is so eager to have a baby. He was going to buy her a ring and propose before they go off on their long-planned California vacation next week. "This is gonna break her heart," he kept saying, referring to the impact his layoff would have on their plans. "How can I tell her about this? It's gonna break her heart." I kinda gave him a verbal Cher/"snap out of it." I told him that she will take it just fine. That she loves him, and her first reaction will be about his pain, not about her ring. Well, apparently I was right.* She was excited and happy to keep him facing forward, toward his job search, instead of reliving what went wrong at our office. He felt so happy -- so positive -- that he bought the ring anyway. My day started with a photo of it in my inbox. And then, this afternoon, I got a text: "She said yes. You are one of the first ones I'm telling."

•  Levis. I found a pair at Macy's that fit me perfectly.

•  My tax return. I filed today. The sooner the IRS reviews it, the sooner I get my refund!

*I am almost always right about other people's lives, you know.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: It's a Sunshine Day
  
1) The best known Brady Bunch song is, of course, the show's theme. Do you know the lyrics? It's the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls ... I bet more people know all the lyrics to the Brady Bunch theme than can sing The National Anthem.

2) The Bradys were a blended family. Do you have stepparents, stepchildren or stepsibs? No.

3) Samantha admits that, when she was 12, she taped Greg Brady's photo over her bed. Before you judge her too harshly, come clean yourself. Did you have a major pre-teen crush? Who was it? Bobby Sherman. This very photo looks familiar, and I would argue he was cuter than Greg Brady.

4) Which TV character do you wish lived next door? Judge Marilyn Milian or Judge Judy. No one would mess with our block with either of those two around.

5) It's a sunshine day! Describe your sunglasses. Slightly upswept ovals in a black/white  frame. I'm very happy with them. Less than $15 at CVS!

6)  You're on a 90-minute flight. How will you spend the time? Do you read a book? A magazine? Look out the window? Take a nap? If my Xanax is working, I'm asleep. If it's not, I'm sitting there with white knuckles. I don't fly well at all.

7) Do you have a favorite brand of toothpaste? Close-up, if the store I'm in carries it. I like starting the day with cinnamon. 

 

8) How many keys are on your key ring? Oh, God! Too many! And I have no idea what some of them are for. I suppose my key ring is a metaphor for my life. I hang on to things when perhaps I should discard them and move on.

9) What do you miss about summertime? BASEBALL. I'm always happier when I can watch The Cubs.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #212

THIRTEEN AFFORDABLE 

HAIRSTYLING PRODUCTS

According to the online shopping site, Peapod, these are their 13 best-selling hairstyling products. All retail for under $10, with the most expensive being the only one marketed specifically to men. Would any land in your shopping cart?

1)  Tresemme Extra Hold Aerosol Hairspray (I admit I'm typical; this is in my bathroom now)

2)  Suave Max Hold Unscented Non-Aerosol Hairspray (Least expensive at $2.79 for an 11 oz. bottle)

3)  Tresemme Extra Firm Hold Aerosol Hairspray

4)  Tresemme Extra Hold Mousse

5)  Pantene Pro V Touchable Volume Flexible Hold Aerosol Spray

6)  Aussie Scrunch Catch the Wave Strong Hold Pump Hair Spray

7)  Dove Style + Care Flexible Hold Aerosol Hair Spray

8)  Pantene Pro V Anti-Humidity Aerosol Hair Spray

9)  Aussie Mega Hold Aerosol Hair Spray

10)  Pantene Pro V Curly Hair Styling Mousse

11)  AXE Whatever Messy Hair Paste for Men (Most expensive at $7.99 for a 2.64 oz. jar)

12)  Tresemme Keratin Smooth Heat Protection Pump Spray

13)  Suave Professionals Moroccan Infusion Styling Oil

 

For more about the Thursday 13, 

or to play along yourself, click here.

WWW Wednesday

To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions… 

• What are you currently reading? Where We Belong by Emily Giffin. It's only my second Giffin, but I can see why she's crazy popular. She so clearly likes her characters and draws them so compassionately. Very good chick lit.


• What did you recently finish reading? Sybil Exposed by Debbie Nathan. Fascinating and really quite shocking. Sybil -- both the book and the made-for-TV movie starring Sally Field about the woman with 16 personalities -- was something of a fraud and worse, the real woman behind the story was used as a marketing tool.


• What do you think you’ll read next? So many possibilities! Perhaps Kinsey and Me, by Sue Grafton. Or Anne Frank's Family, a biography of the entire clan that gave us that extraordinary young diarist.

Like working in a snow globe

Today we were treated to a mix of fog, rain and snow. From the sidewalk, the city looked like a slushy gray mess. But from my office on the 40th floor, it looked like we were inside a beautiful swirling snow globe. The fog was so thick and active we could see swirling shapes outside our window.

I love this weather.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The (20) First (Questions) Meme

First Job: Babysitting. I loved it. The kids went to bed pretty early and then I got paid to eat potato chips, drink Pepsi and watch TV.

First Real Job: Administrative assistant -- OK, back in those days it was called "secretary" -- at Sears Corporate HQ in the building that was once known as Sears Tower.

First Volunteer Job: Scrubbing litter boxes, clipping claws and cleaning away ear mites in the cat adoption room at Chicago's Anti-Cruelty Society.

First Car: A 1971 Impala. It was live driving a big green, rusty boat.

First Record: "I've Got Rings on My Fingers and Bells on My Toes." A woman sang it, but I don't recall her name. I couldn't read the label, as I was still in pre-school. My Grandpa gave me the record and I still remember all the lyrics.


First Sport Played: Tag in the backyard

First Concert: Bobby Sherman. Don't judge me! I was in 7th grade and "Julie, Do Ya Love Me" is a classic of the bubblegum genre (she said, super defensively).

First Country Visited: We went to Canada the summer I was 9

First Kiss: David, the boy next door. (OK, three doors down. Details! Details!)

First Speech: Not memorable. Sorry.

First Girlfriend/Boyfriend: See First Kiss.

First Encounter with a Famous Person: I ran into Black Hawk great Stan Mikita while we each shopping in the same department store. He was shorter than I expected and smelled of cigarettes, which disappointed me. But he was very gracious and let me tail after him as he bought dollhouse furniture for his little girl.

First Brush With Death: In 2008. I almost got creamed by a cab. I think about it every time I pass the spot where it nearly happened.

First House/Flat Owned: Owned? I have a mortgage I'm making dents in each month, but I can't honestly say I own this place.

First Film Seen at a Cinema: Mary Poppins

First Media Appearance (Radio, Newspaper, TV): In third grade I won an essay contest about what made my teacher the best in town. I won $50 and got my little paragraph reprinted in the local paper.

First Hospital Stay:In 1994 I had uterine fibroids removed. Want to hear more about it? I didn't think so.

First Book You Remember Reading: Abraham Lincoln by Ingri & Edgar Parin d'Aulaire. It's a  children's book with really gorgeous illustrations. My parents bought it for me as a souvenir after we visited the Lincoln sites in Springfield that summer between Kindergarten and first grade. I flipped through it over and over and over again during the long car ride home. It's still in print and, if you have a young child in your life, I highly recommend it.

First Pet: Tommy. He was a truly terrific cat.

First Election You Voted In: 1976 I got to vote for both President and Illinois governor. I truly don't recall if I voted for James R. Thompson, who became our Governor, but I'm going to give him a shout out as he's one of the few governors of my lifetime who didn't/hasn't done jail time. Props to you, Big Jim!

Not the best choice for me today

I am in the grips of Oscar fever again, as I am every year during awards season. So when I saw Amour was playing at my local theater, I couldn't wait to get over there and buy my ticket. As an Oscar aficionado, I'm aware that Emmanuelle Riva, at age 85, is the oldest actress to be nominated in the lead category. She also seems to be the only one who has a chance to upset Jennifer Lawrence tomorrow night. So I was stoked.

I'd heard the film was a love story about two long-marrieds reaching the end of their lives. That's true, as far as it goes. What I was unaware of was what an unsparing portrait of old age and illness it paints. After Anne, the character played by Riva, suffers a stroke, she is on a swift and brutal decline toward death. She loses first the use of her right side, then control of her bladder. The meds she must take to combat the pain leaves her speaking gibberish. She is frightened and angry. Her loving husband is forlorn and exhausted.

It reminded me too much of watching my 77-year-old mother fight for her life last September. Like Anne in the movie, my mother ultimately lost her battle. And it was one very brutal battle indeed.

So while there is much to this movie to recommend it, I'm sorry I let my Oscar mania overrule my sense. This is not the movie I should have seen while battling the blues. There's a Die Hard movie playing on another screen in the very same theater. Why didn't I opt for Bruce Willis in a torn t-shirt? That's always guaranteed to raise my spirits.

Saturday 9

Yeah, I know it's Friday. But I'm killing time until my pizza is done and I begin watching my movie (see post below).

 Saturday 9: Call Me Maybe 

1) Do you owe anyone a phone call? Yes. I was supposed to have lunch with an old friend today and I blew her off. I left her a vm and an email in advance (I mean, I didn't stand her up), but still, I should try to talk to her in real time so I can explain. 

2) Do you still have a landline phone? Yes, indeedy. I'm old school. It's still my favorite mode of communication.

3) When was the last time you looked up a number in the phone book? Last autumn when my modem went out. I was so freaking HELPLESS without internet access.

4) Do you receive more calls or texts? Calls. I don't really like texts. Call me or email me.

5) Carly Rae made the Final 3 on Canadian Idol. Can you name another cultural import from Canada? Michael Buble.

6) Sam grew sick of this song by hearing it too often on the radio. Where do you listen to the radio most often? Car? Work? Somewhere else? I start each morning singing badly along with a shower radio like this one.

7) Mother Winters can work wonders with an iron and a can of spray starch. Every blouse and shirt she presses looks good as new. Is there a domestic chore you excel at? I can pretty well remove any stain from any piece of clothing. Oh yes, I can!

8) Do you consider yourself competitive? I am at canasta. I am a wicked good canasta player.

9) Tell us your superhero name -- as determined by the color of your shirt and an item to your right. For example, Crazy Sam now fights crime as The Light Blue Coffee Mug! Addy set this up beautifully and I'm stealing it: By day I am the mild-mannered Gal Herself…but by night I take to the streets to spank the criminal element and save small kittens in my crime fighting alter ego The Green Striped Tissue Box!

Wasn't she something?

Forget Angelina Jolie and her silly leg pose. THIS, ladies and gentleman, is a star.

Tonight I'm kicking off Oscar weekend by watching Butterfield 8. It's a fairly run-of-the-mill soapy movie that's elevated by a positively electric performance by Elizabeth Taylor, who (obviously) won the gold statuette that year. When she was good in a movie, when the role fit her unique talents (and Gloria Wandrous was one of those roles), you can't take your eyes off her.

I'm ready! Yes, I am!

I'm ready to make my final Oscar predictions.

BEST PICTURE: ARGO (Saw it, loved it)
BEST ACTOR: ABE (I mean, Daniel Day Lewis)
BEST ACTRESS: JENNIFER LAWRENCE
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN (in that movie that has nothing whatsoever to do with Scientology!)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: ANNE HATHAWAY (I believe this is by acclaimation)
BEST DIRECTOR: STEVEN SPIELBERG

We'll see Sunday night how brilliant I am.

I met a girl who sang the blues

And she was me!

Yesterday we lost another coworker to layoffs. Lana. I really liked, respected and depended on her. She and Tom were the two I willingly spent the most time, socially, as well as the two I had the most in common with professionally. They are gone and I am hurting.

One of my officemates is blissfully unconcerned about the human toll of these layoffs and really, I couldn't bear to be around her another moment. Perhaps her attitude is, ultimately, healthier because this is advertising and it happens a lot. But the insensitivity of it really, really rankles.

So, last night, as I was packing up to go home, I decided not to come in today. My work for the week was already done, I was at the end of my tether, and I thought the alone time would rejuvenate me.

I was wrong. I remain slothful and sad today. All I've done is fart around on the computer, wash some clothes and take myself out to brunch. And, of course, fought with my cat Reynaldo, who believes that if I'm going to be home I should be doing his bidding.*

My mail was a bummer. Two (count 'em, two!) letters from the reverse mortgage company regarding my late mother's house -- even though it was never my property and they're on notice to speak directly to my attorney, not me.

My oldest friend is making plans to visit me this summer -- for more than a week (Friday to Sunday). That's a lot of togetherness with no alone time. I'll put a bullet in my brain! We've negotiated it down to Friday to Wednesday. I don't want to hurt her feelings -- I know she loves me and I'm grateful -- but I'm hoping we somehow have to scale it back even further.

I've got to get my mind right.

I miss baseball.

*I'm trying a new behavioral tack with him. Every time he does something to get my attention, I give it to him. I pick him up and kiss his nose, which he hates, and announce into his face, "I am giving you attention!" He really loathes this. It hasn't deterred him yet, though. Maybe it takes a while for cause/effect to penetrate his cranium. Or maybe, once again, resistance is futile and he will get his way.

Thursday Thirteen #211

THIRTEEN FACTS ABOUT SOAP OPERAS

1) A "soap opera" is defined as "an ongoing, episodic work of dramatic fiction."

2) Originally broadcast on radio, these daily dramas became known as "soap operas" because they were frequently sponsored by soap manufacturers like Dial, Palmolive, and Procter and Gamble.

3) As the World Turns (1956-2010) is one of the longest-running, most popular daytime soaps ever. Most Americans who were home and watching TV during the day were tuned to it 50 years ago and received the first word of President Kennedy's assassination when Walter Cronkite interrupted the broadcast.



4) In 1972, the National Association of Television Arts and Sciences began giving out Daytime Emmy Awards. The NBC show The Doctors won the first for Best Daytime Drama.

5) Today, the daytime drama has hit on hard times. Ratings are down and costs are up. Court shows like Judge Judy and talk shows like Dr. Phil are cheaper to produce because fewer sets and less scripting are involved. The longest-running shows -- As the World Turns, All My Children, Secret Storm and One Life to Live -- were all recently cancelled after more 30 years.

6) Peyton Place was the first nighttime "soap opera." It premiered on September 15, 1964 and ran two (sometimes three) nights a week for nearly 5 years. In its last season it was still in the Top 20 in Neilsen Ratings. It was cancelled because of costs -- reruns were never aired and the production values were high.

7) Dallas (1978-1991) was the next prime-time soap blockbuster. CBS learned from ABC's Peyton Place missteps. Dallas aired one hour-long episode, one night/week and there were reruns. The repeats not only reduced costs, they were quite useful in maintaining the public's interest in the series and the resolution of each season's "cliffhanger."



8) Dallas had the biggest "cliffhanger" of all with "Who Killed JR?" In November, 1980, 83 million people tuned in to see that Kristen Shepard pulled the trigger. That means there were more viewers than there were voters in the 1980 Presidential election. At the time, it was the highest rated show in TV history.

9) Dynasty premiered in 1981 and gave Dallas stiff competition. Joan Collins gained fame as Alexis Carrington, the soap's first prime-time vixen.

10)  Divas and vixens and bitches were no stranger to daytime viewers, though. Lisa Miller (Hughes Eldridge Shea Colman McColl Mitchell Grimaldi) of As the World Turns and Erica Kane (Martin Brent Cudahy Chandler Montgomery Marick Montgomery) of All My Children -- shown here -- staked out that territory years earlier.

11) Movie actresses who appeared in soaps include Meg Ryan (As the World Turns), Demi Moore (General Hospital), and Kathleen Turner (The Doctors).

12) Movie actors who appeared in soaps include Christopher Reeve (Love of Life), Kevin Bacon (Search for Tomorrow) and Ray Liotta (Another World).

13) Singers Ricky Martin and Rick Springfield appeared on General Hospital.

For more about the Thursday 13, or to play along yourself, click here.

What's the penalty in this state?

I now share an office with three other coworkers. We are in one another's pocket, day in-day out. And I'm at the end of my tether with one of them. If I were to strangle her, how much time would I get?

A little jailtime might be worth it.

We lost a coworker yesterday. I am sad about this. It hasn't escaped my notice that she can't be bothered to offer him contacts for a new job, or even shoot him a "how are you doing the morning after?" email or text. Instead she's blissfully on the phone, yammering all day with her sisters and friends. She's also been known to strum her ukelele and sing softly, right there at her workstation, in the office we all share.

In a world where lay-offs may still be imminent, I don't appreciate her advertising how NOT busy we are in this office.

I'm not violent by nature, but slamming her cranium with the gavel shown above might be satisfying.

Oh, no she won't

My friend, Tom, was let go Tuesday morning. One of the first things he mentioned was his girlfriend. "This is going to break her heart."

Camille is 35 and eager to get married and have a baby. She and Tom have discussed what kind of engagement ring she would like. He was planning on giving her one for Easter. I'm sure she was expecting one, and she will be disappointed.

But she is also a pediatric nurse whose job regularly presents her with sick, sometimes terminally ill, babies. I suspect that when you handle life and death in your hands each day, the loss of a job at an ad agency probably isn't that big a deal.

Also, I believe she loves him. I bet that when she saw the pain he's in, she wasn't even thinking of herself.

Layoffs at work

I'm safe for now, but my favorite account exec, Tom, is no longer with us. I'm sad. I'm rattled. I'm having a hard time concentrating.

I love their love

Behold Anna and Bates, two of the best fictional people I know. Whenever they show up together on Downton Abbey, I smile. Mary and Matthew were the prettier couple, but to be honest it's his looks that make me mourn Matthew's passing. I just love everything about Anna and Bates, though. Swoon!