Thursday Thirteen #362

My first 13 books of 2024. June seems like a good time to look back on my reading so far this year. 

My list is in the order that I read them. I put my personal grade after the link.

1. Babe: The Legend Comes to Life by Robert Creamer. My grade: B. A moving, but very detailed, biography of Babe Ruth.

2. Everyone Here Is Lying by Shari Lapena. C. A fun but forgettable thriller.

3. Murder, Stage Left by Robert Goldsborough. C+ An entertaining latter-day entry in the Nero Wolfe series by the author chosen to replace creator Rex Stout.

4. Laura by Vera Caspary. A. Originally published in 1943 and made into a classic film, this is a very nearly perfect murder mystery.

5. Mary Lincoln: Biography of a Marriage by Ruth Painter Randall. B+. A fascinating study of our most misunderstood First Lady. Originally published in the mid-1950s, so some of the language gave me pause, but that makes it an accurate reflection of its time, as well as Mary's.

6. Agatha Raisin and the Terrible Tourist by MC Beaton. C- Number 6 in the series, this wasn't my favorite. It takes Aggie out of her usual setting in the Cottswold and places her in Cyprus, so the small town charm is missing.

7. Camera Girl: The Coming of Age of Jackie Bouvier Kennedy by Carl Sferrazza Anthony. A+. A unique biography of one of the most famous women of the 20th century because it focuses on a very narrow slice of her life: the period between her college graduation and her marriage to Senator John F. Kennedy. She traveled extensively, got engaged to and broke up with a stockbroker, and embarked on a newspaper career she loved. A completely charming book. Made me wish I'd discussed this period of my mother's life with her.

8. Murder in the Ballpark by Robert Goldsborough. C. Another latter-day Nero Wolfe book, penned by Stout's successor. The atmosphere and dialog are right, but the mystery was meh.

9. Hollywood: The Oral History by Jeanine Basinger and Sam Wasson. I appreciated it, but don't know how to grade it. A comprehensive reference book, I inadvisedly read it straight through for my book club and was overwhelmed.

10. She's Not Sorry by Mary Kubica. C+. A thriller set in Chicago, it's good at setting the time/place. I enjoyed it while I was reading it. Then, after it was over, I kept turning the plot holes over in my head. "Hey, but how did ..."

11. My Name Is Barbra by Barbra Streisand. B+. More than 990 pages of Barbra's story told by Barbra. Charming at times, infuriating at others, but always fascinating. A delicious wallow for Barbra buffs.

12. The Doorbell Rang by Rex Stout. B. I returned to Wolfe's brownstone with the series creator, Rex Stout. And yes, it's better with Rex.

13. Any Given Tuesday by Lis Smith. B. A political consultant takes us through 20 years of Democratic campaigns on both the state and national levels. I was fascinated because hers is a life I could imagine myself living -- if I wasn't so cautious. I just wish I liked her more.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Handsome Is As Handsome Does

My favorite-most ball player Anthony Rizzo is in a slump. This has broken my heart in 1,000 different ways. The owner of the Yankees pretty much called a press conference just to say they weren't going to keep him next year so they can give more money to Juan Soto. I am obsessed. I must be watching/listening when he rises up from this ravine.

It's against this backdrop that I went to volunteer for the local library book sale last night. At this point, all we're doing is sorting donations. You know: FICTION, NON-FICTION, CHILDREN'S, DVDs, CDs. It's neither complicated nor taxing, but it's important.

I volunteered to build boxes. I'm good at building boxes, and we need lots of boxes. It's easy on my back, too. Books are heavy and toting them to and fro can be a strain. Best of all, it's a rather solitary activity. Just me at a table with a palette of flat boxes and a tape dispenser. It gave me an opportunity to keep up with Rizz on the MLB Gameday app. No sound, so I wasn't disturbing the trio of sorters.

One of those sorters was a very nice-looking, age-appropriate man with nice arms and sandy hair. I like men. I liked looking at him. Between him and the ballgame, I was looking forward to a pleasant 2 1/2 hours.

What a jerk he turned out to be! I stacked my newly-built boxes three deep on the floor. More than once he cavalierly kicked them over -- literally, with his foot! -- so he could get closer to the sorting table. He also slid books across the table where I was working, knocking into my phone and water bottle.

At the end of our shift, we all chatted amiably for a few minutes. One woman told us how hard it was to part with the books she donated. I recalled how last year an argument broke out how to categorize In Cold Blood -- non-fiction? classic? true crime? A man in a Sox cap was asking if anyone knew military time as he looked at his parking receipt and tried to calculate what he owed. 

Good Lookin' just wordlessly signed out and went home. Ha! Just for that, I'm not going to fall in love with you.

Rizz went 0-4!

I had to content myself with the fact that I'd given of myself to the community.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? If Death Ever Slept by Rex Stout. Otis Jarrell is a millionaire businessman who lives in penthouse with his extended family. He's sure his daughter-in-law is "a snake" and hellbent on destroying his son and his fortune. He hires Wolfe (and his associate, Archie, of course) to find the evidence he needs to convince his son to divorce her. What begins as an easy case with a big fee for uncovering marital shenanigans and perhaps industrial espionage becomes murder and nothing is as easy or obvious as it seems.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Fairy Tale Interrupted by RoseMarie Terenzio. RoseMarie was John Kennedy Jr.'s personal assistant at George and she shares her insider's view. It was exciting and fun -- chatting with Marlon Brando on the phone, celebrating her birthday with courtside seats for the Knicks, helping Carolyn Bessette pack for that super-secret wedding -- until it wasn't. When John's plane went down, she lost her boss, her mentor ... and her job.

In short order her best friend died suddenly, then JFK's plane crashed, and her father lost his battle with illness. The book could be infuriating and tone-deaf at times, but the universality of her struggle and loss at the end redeems it.

 

3. What will you read next? More fiction: Siracusa by Delia Ephron.

I deserve ice cream

On the way home from the card shop yesterday, I stopped for a cup of mint ice cream. I deserved it. I got two -- 2! -- compliments for my work. 

First, my boss Ceecee held the first of what will be regular monthly meetings of the assistant store managers. I found afterward that Jen, the manager I work with most often, reported how well I was doing. I don't know the details -- I'm going to be formally reviewed this sometime this month -- but Ceecee wanted me to know. 

I appreciated hearing this because I'd been a little anxious about the review thing (I thought I'd left that heinous ritual behind when I retired from advertising) and because when I first started at the shop six months ago, Jen and I were like oil and water. Since she's become more patient with me, I have been doing better.

Then something extraordinary happened.

A woman called the shop. She wanted a narrow gift box for a tube of mascara. I recommended a gift bag -- we have plenty of those -- but no, she wanted a box. So I carried her with me as I checked our box stock. None on the display on the east wall ... none under the gift display in front ... none in the overstock on the back wall. Sorry. No gift boxes that would be perfect for a tube of mascara.

She asked to talk to the store manager.

Gulp.

I told her I'd be happy to put Ceecee on the line, but she should know that we are corporate owned and don't have a lot of influence over the stock we carry. "I still want to talk to the manager," she insisted.

I took the phone back to Ceecee, who was in the office, and told her who the lady was and what had happened.

Ceecee listened for a moment and then said, "Thank you. Very nice to hear .... Our store has been here 30 years but the Gal is one of our newer employees ... I will tell  her ... We hope to see you in person soon ...."

She was that impressed by how "pleasant" and "extremely helpful" I was! All I did that anyone else might not do was, instead of putting the phone on the counter and looking around, I brought her with me and told her what I was seeing. Not that big a deal and it felt very natural to me. But it was a big deal to her.

Here's what I learned: If you receive good service, compliment it. I never before realized how much it matters.

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

You're not imagining it

We have been here before. MAGA supporters are just like Nixon supporters ... on steroids and with the internet.

Teaser Tuesday

Here's how to play.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)

If Death Ever Slept by Rex Stout. Otis Jarrell is a wealthy Manhattan businessman with a problem and he hopes that with a persuasive argument and a ton of money, he can convince Nero Wolfe to solve it.

Jarrell opened his mouth, closed it, made a decision and spoke. "I want you to get a snake out of my house." He made fists. "My daughter-in-law. My son's wife. It must be absolutely confidential. I want you to get evidence of things she has done, things I know damn well she has done, and she will have to go!"

 

Sunday Stealing

 

1. If you like art, who is your favorite artist and why? Thomas McKnight. I love his idealized interiors. They make me want to enter them and sit down.

 2. If you were able to learn any three skills or talents instantly and with success, what would they be? Speak Spanish, play guitar and -- most of all -- master that fucking cash register at the card shop. Just when I think I've got it down, something happens and I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle: woman vs. machine.

3. If you were to live in Ancient Times, where - in what country - would you want to live in? I wouldn't go. I'm too fond of running water, deodorant and air conditioning.

4. What is something you’re embarrassed to admit to liking? Whether it be a guilty pleasure show, or unusual hobby, etc. Valley of the Dolls. I love every wretched frame of this trashy film.

5. What is the worst job you’ve ever had? I was an admin to a trio of men I neither liked nor respected. One of my bosses had me xeroxing catalogs all day to help him buy and sell his toy cars. Another had me take his personal checks -- made out to cash -- to the company cashier so his wife wouldn't know he was funneling money to their adult son. The third would scold me for either opening his mail (if it was personal) or not opening his mail (but didn't he just tell me ...). I truly hated going in each day.

6. What is something that you wanted to do as a child that you would still like to do now? Marry Paul McCartney

7. What do you hate being judged for more than anything else? I'm not crazy about being judged at all.

8. What is your life’s mission? To be a kinder person.

9. If everyone walked around wearing warning labels, what would yours say? Tread lightly.

10. At what age did you first feel like you were an adult? 19.

11. When did you not speak up, but wish you had?  At my old job, I let us present work I didn't believe in because I didn't want to argue with my new boss. It wasn't fair to my client.

12. What is something that makes your skin crawl? Donald Trump

13. What was the last thing to give you butterflies in your stomach? Air travel. I really hate to fly.

14. What's your favorite type of media to work with? (Paint, clay, pens etc.) I like a good marker.

15. What question do you hate answering? Nothing is coming to mind. I guess that means you can ask me anything!

 

  

I'm grateful

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust

Joanna came into The Loop to have lunch with me, even though she's quite broke these days. She said she's missed me, feels invigorated by our time together, and is "honored" that I felt close enough to her to reach out after John died. That was nice of her, as I'm always worried that when I ask for help I'm a bother.

Elaine insisted on driving me home from the movies last weekend. Even though it was way out of her way. She said that now that I'm retired, I shouldn't waste my money on rideshares. Part of me wanted to tell her it was really none of her business, but another part of me was really touched. I'm usually one who worries and fusses and sticks my nose where it doesn't belong. It's nice to be on the receiving end.

My former art director and her boyfriend took me out to dinner. Not only did they pay, but he brought me an unexpected gift. Recently retired, he had something hanging in his office that he had no room for at home and thought I'd like it. HELLO! YES, I WOULD! It was a print of broadcaster Pat Hughes' scorecard from the Cubs World Series Game 7 (the greatest baseball game ever played).

John is dead. Henry is lost to me. But life goes on, and I realize I'm fortunate to have such charming gardeners attending to me.

Melly and Scarlett and Audrey and Kathy

Every day I try. I do. I want to live my life in a way that would please the Lord. Or, to put it in classic movie terms, I try to be more Melly and less Scarlett. Sometimes I succeed. Not always. But every now and again, goodness prevails.

Like with Audrey. She's a movie group regular, and usually she annoys the living shit out of me. First of all, after three years she still doesn't understand how Zoom works. She forever leans into the camera and looks down, treating all of us to a lovely view of the part of her hair and her dandruff. And you can count on Audrey to lose the thread of the conversation and ask a dumb question. She reliably brings out my inner Scarlett.

Until last weekend. We met in person to see From Here to Eternity on the big screen in celebration of Memorial Day and then for lunch afterward. I don't think I've ever been physically close to Audrey before. In person, her fragility touched my inner Melly. 

Her vision is severely compromised. The reason she looks down so often during our online meetups is that she practically has to put her nose on her laptop keyboard to see. Zoom isn't the only thing she doesn't understand. When we sat down to lunch, it was established that we would either give Betty -- seated at the head of the table -- cash or we'd send her funds via Zelle or Venmo. Yet when the check came, Audrey kept trying to give our moderator, Will, her credit card. So that conversation that swirled around her when we took our seats, that thing she agreed to about paying Betty with cash or by online payment service? She didn't understand any of it. I sensed her confusion and was touched by how hard it must be for her to navigate the world.

On the way out of the restaurant I saw her backpack was wide open. I stopped her and zipped it. As we watched her disappear down the busy city sidewalk, I asked Elaine if maybe we shouldn't try to walk with her. "Oh, Gal," Elaine said, aware of how I fixate on problems I can't solve, "who is going to keep an eye on her for the 51 other weekends when we aren't there?" 

Still, my humanity was awakened. I liked myself just then. From now on, I will be more patient and engaged with Audrey.

But that doesn't mean Scarlett is gone forever. My old friend Kathy has dementia ... or something. I don't know because she won't see a doctor. Our relationship was complicated even before her cognitive difficulties because she was always jealous of how comfortable our friend John and I were. Kathy was always more than a little in love with John -- even though he was gay as a box of Crayolas -- and she viewed me as a competitor. Since her brain battles she's been even more difficult.

When John died last month, two of our mutual friends asked me if I was going to tell Kathy. Fuck to the no. John's passing has broken my heart. I can't deal with Kathy on top of that. If Mindy and Vanessa think Kathy needs to be told, let one of them tell her. I have every right to protect myself as I heal from the shock of losing someone I loved.

Still every time my phone chirps, I swallow hard. I'm afraid that somehow Kathy has figured out that John is dead and reaching out. Maybe to commiserate, maybe to yell at me (she's quick to temper these days). I'm sorry, but I'm in pain and the price of admission to my life right now is that you not yell at me.

So when Kathy's adult granddaughter posted to Facebook first that Kathy lost her phone and then, days later, that while the phone was found, her contacts can't be recovered, my first and enduring reaction was, "GOOD!"

Yes, I know Kathy can't help her dementia. Yes, I know her phone is the lifeline that connects her to the outside world and she must be lonely without it. I know Melly would have compassion for her, but I'm still full-metal Scarlett on this one and glad I don't have to deal with her.

I admit I'm a work in progress. I'll try to do better tomorrow because, as Scarlett herself said, "tomorrow is another day."

Saturday 9

 

Saturday 9: 5-10-15-20 (1970)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this week's song, The Presidents sing about a long married, very happy couple. Who is the longest married couple you know? Who is the happiest? Are they the same couple? Married about 35 years, I think my friends Mindy and Alan are both longest married/happiest. They have weathered quite a few storms -- her infertility, unemployment, a son with learning disabilities, the death of their parents, now Alan's own health crises. Mindy once told me that she didn't think anyone who wasn't her or her husband could understand what's gone into the life they've built together.

2) The lyrics ask repeatedly: "Aren't we happy?" Are you feeling happy today? Why or why not? At this particular moment on Friday evening I'm feeling a little meh. My gut is bothering me, the Cubs lost today, my favorite-most ballplayer Anthony Rizzo is in a slump, and I've got this week's movie group movie, The Day the Earth Stood Still, on. Sci-fi tends to leave me cold, but I'm watching it because our moderator, Will, is so enthusiastic about it. Tomorrow, when my tummy settles down and the Cubs take on the Reds again and Rizz gets his swing back and I can watch a mystery or musical or melodrama, I'll be happy.

3) This happy couple enjoys watching children at play. Is there a park, playground or schoolyard near you? I live next door to a children's home/daycare center, and their playground is under my living room window. I love listening to them play, and I often check down on them to see if I need a sweater or jacket when I go out.

4) This song reminds Crazy Sam of when she used to recite the multiplication tables. Think back to your school days. Was math one of your favorite subjects? No.

5) The Presidents seems like a good name for a band formed in Washington DC. What would be an appropriate name for a band from your hometown? Here's an idea: get a band with a powerful horn section and have them play jazz/rock and the occasional power ballad. Call them Chicago and you just might have something there.

6) DC trivia: The street names are letters, but J was skipped. That's because in the 1700s, the way many wrote their alphabet, "J" looked like "I" and so "J" was passed over to avoid confusion. Tell us something we may not know about your hometown (or state). O'Hare Airport is one of the world's busiest airports and its code is ORD. That's because back in the olden days, it was known as Orchard Airport because it was kinda in the middle of nowhere. It was renamed for Butch O'Hare, the fighter pilot who became the Navy's first Medal of Honor recipient in WWII.

7) In 1970, when this song was on the Billboard chart, The Mary Tyler Moore Show premiered on CBS. The theme song said Mary could "turn the world on with her smile," yet in real life, MTM was self-conscious about her "wide mouth." Are you comfortable looking at photos of yourself? More now than in the past. I used to be very hard on myself. I recently came upon some photos of myself in my 20s and 30s and saw I really had it going on. I wish I had enjoyed my youthful good looks when I had them. I have to stop being my own harshest critic.

8) Also in 1970, Dinah Shore became one of the first women to host her own national daytime talk show. Today, Kelly Clarkson, Drew Barrymore, Tamron Hall, Jennifer Hudson and Kelly Ripa all have their own shows, and The Talk and The View are both hosted by women. Who is your favorite talk show host? I can't say because I don't really watch any of them. I like Kelly Clarkson's singing, though.

9) Random question -- Would you rather have a job that has you on your feet all day, or one that has you parked in a chair? Being on my feet at the card shop is kinda tough on my heel spurs, but I find it's better for my back than sitting all day. So I guess it's kind of a wash.

 

Thursday Thirteen #361

The first 13 names for hurricanes and tropical storms. It promises to be an active storm season in the Atlantic, and here are names you can expect to see on the news.

1. Alberto

2. Beryl

3. Chris

4. Debby

5. Ernesto

6. Francine

7. Gordo

8. Helene

9. Isaac

10. Joyce

11. Kirk

12. Leslie

13. Milton

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Fairy Tale Interrupted by RoseMarie Terenzio. There's a great deal of buzz about the new bio of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. I was going to waitlist it at the library and then I saw this readily available decade-old tome. So I gave it a shot.

 

RoseMarie Terenzio was John Kennedy Jr.'s personal assistant at George, and personal friends with his bride, Carolyn. She was a real insider with a unique view of the paparazzi targets who strove to live a normal (as normal as possible) life. She's credible, and this is no hatchet job.

It's also an interesting look at a young woman kicking off her career a lifetime ago. She was in her 20s back in the 1990s when she worked for John at George. A lot of her behavior seems weird and unacceptable now.

 

Crying at the office? Honey, that just shouldn't happen. Ever. I admit I did that exactly once in 43 years in advertising, and I'm not sure it counts because we were on WFH for covid so no one actually saw my tears. I was expected to create content on deadline using a new software program while on meds and battling a kidney stone. RoseMarie's feelings were hurt when her boss shared news with editors before her. The next day, John apologized! I would have reminded her where the ladies room was and advised her to shed her tears there.

Boundaries? There were none. RoseMarie gossiped with Carolyn Bessette every day about what was going on at the office, and it was Carolyn who advised her boyfriend to apologize after the above incident. Carolyn took RoseMarie (her boyfriend's assistant) shopping and paid for the designer duds. This spree made RoseMarie late for a meeting, but what the hell. Shame on all three of them. Then John and Carolyn lent RoseMarie their historic Kennedy cottage in Hyannis Port for a week each summer. Free of charge. Unless John was willing to offer it to every one of his employees, that kind of favoritism and access would not fly in today's workplace. 

Was everyone still in love with smoking in the 90s? I certainly wasn't, but RoseMarie writes about cigarettes as an indicator of empowered women and cool men. Her take-no-prisoners mother was a smoker. RoseMarie and Carolyn would "sip white wine and smoke cigarettes" as though it was an activity, like drinking beer and watching the game. Sean Penn chain smoked throughout an event where no smoking was allowed, and RoseMarie admired his individualism. No, he was an entitled asshole.

 

Of course, George premiered in 1995. Maybe I'm unfairly viewing RoseMarie's conduct through a new millennium prism. 30 years on, Ms. Terenzio now runs her own PR firm. I assume the office isn't filled with employees weeping at their desks between puffs of their Marlboro Lights.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Any Given Tuesday: A Political Love Story by Lis Smith. She worked for some of the highest-profile names in politics. Terry McAuliffe. Andrew Cuomo. Bill De Blasio. Pete Buttigieg. Barack Obama. I loved the inside dirt. Also, as one who has volunteered on campaigns, I enjoyed this view of how/why strategy was developed behind the scenes, and how operatives like Smith choose which campaigns they will work on. I suspect, though, that you have to be a bit of a political junkie to really enjoy this book.

3. What will you read next? I've had enough real life. I'm returning to the brownstone with Nero Wolfe, Theodore, Fritz and most of all, my imaginary boyfriend, Archie Goodwin.

Teaser Tuesday

Here's how to play.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)

Fairy Tale Interrupted. RoseMarie Terenzio's memoir of life as John Kennedy Jr.'s personal assistant and Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy's friend. Here's how she recalls working for John Jr. in the run-up to the Sotheby's auction of his mother's belongings.

While John acted as though the auction was not a priority, I was fielding numerous calls and requests -- not just from the media but from people wanting to attend the event or get a catalog -- yet I didn't have any information. I didn't even know that the brown paper shopping bag he asked me to take to the home of his sister Caroline had been filled with $2 million worth of jewelry. If I had, I would have killed him.

 

Saturday 9

    

Saturday 9: God Bless America

Unfamiliar with Deanna Durbin's rendition of week's tune? Hear it here.

Memorial Day is the federal holiday designated to honor American service people who died in battle.

1) Memorial Day was introduced after the Civil War. Originally called Decoration Day, this is when memorials, as well as the graves of veterans, are to be decorated with flags and flowers on this day to show our appreciation. Is there a war memorial in your neighborhood? There's a statue honoring those who served in WWI in the park next to the local library. Dedicated in 1925, it's atop a slope that just naturally attracts kids who like to run, roll and sled down it. I bet none of them appreciate the sentiment of the statue that looks down at them when they're having fun.


2) Andrew Johnson, our 17th President, was in office the first time Memorial/Decoration Day was celebrated. Have you ever met one of our Presidents? Met? Not one on one. But as a campaign volunteer and I've attended rallies with my candidates Bill Clinton and John Kerry and, most memorably, was one of 240,000 in Grant Park when Chicago's very own Barack Obama accepted the Presidency in 2008.

I'm in there. Can you see me?

3) According to the AAA, more than 30 million Americans will hit the road this weekend and drive more than 50 miles. Will you be traveling far from home this weekend? Nope.


4) Memorial Day kicks off the summer season. What's your favorite picnic food? It's a tie: cold fried chicken and potato salad. In my mind, they go together.


5) As you answer these questions, is there an air conditioner or fan on? A fan.


6) Though she's belting out one of America's best loved patriotic songs, Deanna Durbin was born in Canada. Is there anyone in your family or circle of friends who wasn't born in the USA? My friend Kathleen's husband remains a loyal British subject.

7) No longer a household name, Ms. Durbin was once one of the biggest stars in the country. One of her most popular films was 1937's One Hundred Men and a Girl, which was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. Recommend a movie that you really like, but don't think many Saturday 9ers have seen. Because it's Memorial Day weekend, I give you From Here to Eternity. It's set in Hawaii in December 1941, which should give you cause to say "uh-oh." We meet the soldiers stationed at Pearl Harbor and the women who love them. There's bravery and integrity and cowardice and shame. It's an epic, very moving. My movie group is getting together Saturday to celebrate Memorial Day by seeing it on the big screen. I just may join them.

 

 
8) Back in 1938, Deanna Durbin had her handprints cemented in front of the TCL Chinese Theater on Hollywood Blvd. Have you ever visited that Los Angeles tourist attraction? Yes! I was just there last month for the TCM Classic Film Festival. It's fun to go through the forecourt and check out the hand/footprints and it's a wonderful place to see a movie.


9) Random question: What food did you hate as a child, but enjoy now? Spinach.

If it wasn't for the baseball game, we'd still be on the phone

I like talking on the phone, but yesterday's 3-hour marathon was a lot ... even for me. Rita is a writer I hired and mentored at my last job. She's doing really well in her new position at another agency. Her personal life, however, is a mess.

She and her husband are living separately. His alcohol abuse made him difficult to live with and had a terrible impact on his ability to parent. The nadir was his DUI, earned with their toddler in the backseat. He's in AA now and working hard on his sobriety. She's supportive and happy to co-parent, but she's not reconciling with him. Even though she knows she's right to refuse to live with a man she no longer loves, she struggles with guilt.

That, however, is not the headline.

She recently learned that her dad may not her biological father. She'd grown up believing that her parents met when Mom was a single mother with two little girls. Dad fell head-over-heels in love with her and, within a month, Mom was pregnant with Rita and they got married. The marriage ended in divorce and Rita is (vehemently) estranged from her mother, but Dad has always emphasized that he once loved his ex-wife and never regretted a moment of their relationship. He and Rita are very close, she's a real Daddy's Girl. 

Rita is olive-skinned with dark eyes and full brows (very Brooke Shields) while her two sisters are blonde. She always assumed it was because they have different fathers, although her dad is fair-haired and fair-skinned, too. Recently, looking at photos from a recent family wedding with her grandmother (her mom's mother), she mused aloud, "I wonder how I ended up in this family."

She was shocked when her grandmother blurted, "I can tell you your father's name." Then Grandma put her hand over her mouth, like she'd said something wrong. 

"WHAT?" Rita asked. Until that moment, it never seriously occurred to her that the man she knew as Dad wasn't her biological father. 

It's a pretty sordid story. At the time that her mother met her second husband, she was partying very hard with a group that spent all weekend in the same house. Couples hooked up for the weekend with no strings attached. Drugs were involved.

Then Mom met Dad (he wasn't a member of that crowd) and she attempted to clean up. They started living together almost immediately and she found out she was pregnant within weeks, so they married. Both Mom and Dad acknowledged (to one another) it was possible that she was already pregnant when they got together. He was so enchanted by Mom and so eager to give her two little girls a better life that he accepted this.

Here's the real kicker: the man Mom had been hooking up with at the party house? He was a Portuguese immigrant whose last name was "Rita." Yes, Mom named her daughter after the man who may have fathered her.

As Rita said, "How fucked up is that?"

She went to her father and asked him about all this. He acknowledged all of it, except that he didn't know why his then-wife insisted on naming her baby girl "Rita." That was new to him.

But he insisted that from the moment she was a baby bump, he wanted her and loved her. He said he could not love her more, and that none of this has ever mattered to him.

It most definitely matters to Rita, though. She wants to know who she is biologically. She wants to be able to tell her little boy, someday, what his ethnicity is. So her father agreed to a paternity test. They are now awaiting the results.

Meantime, she's been investigating the mysterious Mr. Rita from the party house. He died of cancer while still in his 30s. So she can never meet or talk to him.

Of course it's possible that the man she has always called Dad is indeed her father. I hope that is the case. It would be so much easier for her, for everyone, if that's true. If not, well I'm glad she's in therapy!

Then she asked me for advice about her career. Thank God! At last we were talking about something I understood!

I am flattered that Rita thinks enough of me to share all this with me. It was good to get me out of my own head, my own mournful thoughts of Henry and John, and concentrate on someone else. But after three hours, I told her I had to go because the game was starting. That's the thing about being renown as a rabid Cub fan. No one bats an eyelash when I say, "Gotta go! The game is on."

 

Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

Thursday Thirteen #360

The "it was 30 years ago today" edition. It's hard for me to believe, but 1994 was 30 years ago. According to Goodreads, these are 13 most popular books published that year.

1. One of the Money by Janet Evanovich. I started this book but never finished it. I know I'm likely alone in this, but I didn't think it was funny.

2. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami.

3. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt. Read this one back in the day and loved it. Maybe it's time for a re-read. WARNING: Avoid the Clint Eastwood movie. Strays way too far from the book.

4. The Alienist by Caleb Carr. I remember everyone was reading this book. 30 years ago, I took the train every day/twice a day and when I looked around the car I'd see this book in the hands of commuter after commuter.

5. Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind.

6. Blood of Elves by Andrzej Sapkowski.

7. Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson. Though unread by me, I remember this book being displayed prominently in drugstores and bookstores. (Barnes and Noble and Crown Books were both a big deal back then.)

8. Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies by James C. Collins, Jim Collins and Jerry Porras.

9. Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela.

10. Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan.

11. Art and Chaos by David Bayles and Ted Orland. 

12. Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech.

13. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott.

Do any of these titles bring back misty, water-colored memories of the way you were?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.