Six out of ten!

I don't mean to imply that with today's victory against the Braves that the Cubs are now on their way to World Series rings. On the other hand, the Boys in Cubbie Blue have now won 6 of their last 10, which is very respectable. And this makes me very happy! I truly believe that we have turned a corner, and that the 2012 season won't blow.

I'm singing, "Go, Cubs, go! Go, Cubs, go ..."

And in other Cubbie news, Mayor Rahm Emmanuel is really trying to get the City Council on board to help fund the renovation of the Friendly Confines. I don't live within the city limits, so my opinion doesn't mean (to borrow a phrase) "a hill of beans in this crazy world." Except that I love Wrigley Field easily as much as Rick loved Ilsa, so I hope that somehow this is all worked out for the betterment of the park.

I Want Wednesday

I want my best friend to get over himself already! He behaved badly (we all do at times) and I busted him for it (he deserved it), and yet somehow in his mind I'm the baddie. I'm not apologizing because I haven't done anything wrong. I did send him one last email on the matter, explaining that if I don't stick up for myself and my feelings, no one will, and that's that. On this subject. Knowing him, and knowing how loathe he is to admit when he's "wr..." (see clip below), I have also given him a trio of unrelated emails to respond to, so he can keep the lines of communication open and still save face.

My considered opinion

Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez have been doing a lot of TV to promote their new book. Emilio and I are the same age, which makes Martin (literally) old enough to be my dad. And yet he is, hands down, the sexier one. Throw Charlie in, and Dad still wins. (Am I alone in suspecting Charlie has some serious hygiene issues?)

Why doesn't my virtue make me happier?

I am such a grown up! And it's left me feeling a little miserable.

One of my coworkers, Tom, offered me the FREE ticket next to him at tonight's Cub game! But, alas, I turned it down, and here's why:

•  While it was in the mid-60's when I left for work this morning, it's going to be rainy and cold in the ballpark tonight. I'm just wearing sandals, a little boatneck t-shirt and my denim jacket. That's simply not enough to keep you warm when it's raining within The Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field.

•  My first impulse was, "Let's go to Macy's!" It's connected to our office building by a pedway and I could pick up all manner of new Cubbie blue gear to keep me warm. But considering that even the cheapest MLB sweatshirt is more than $30, and I'd need many layers, that's just a waste of money that I don't have.

• And then there's the cab ride from the park to the train station after the game. That would be at least $20, probably more. I could save money and take the "el" home, but the game won't be over until 9:00 at the earliest -- later with the predicted rain delays -- and I just don't believe the el is safe that time of night.

•  "Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack," as the song goes. Well, whose gonna take me up on that? Nobody. So that would be even more money. I bet by the end of the evening, that free ticket could end up costing me more than $100 I can't afford to spend.

Sigh. Being an adult so sucks.

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now that I'm fat I'm harder to flip

I completely adore my best friend. No one who reads this humble blog with any regularity can doubt that. But there are times that I forget he is what he is -- a straight male -- and that this congenital defect causes him to be irrational at times.

For example, he is incapable of apologizing.

Last summer, when his beloved old dog died, I made a contribution in her name to the American Humane Association and asked the organization to send the acknowledgment to my friend's family. My friend never mentioned it.

So, after the charge came through on my credit card, I asked him about it. Then several weeks later I asked him again. He never responded. Now emails and texts fly back and forth between us a lot, so I suppose it's possible that those two honestly got overlooked. So I asked again. Nothing.

It's always sort of nagged at me. Now that I'm packing up the office for our big move, I found a receipt for American Humane that confirmed my memorial to his dog. So I asked again.

He simply said he didn't remember. 

This really hurt my feelings. So naturally I wrote: "This hurt my feelings. First the gift I gave your family made no impression on you whatsoever at the time and then nowhere in this stream of emails did you bother to thank me. I know you're busy with work and dances and recitals and I'm sorry to hassle you. But what I did was thoughtful. And if you recall, last summer I had a thing or two on my own mind. Like doctor's appt's and the run up to my surgery, which was a very big deal in my own life, but I managed to try to be thoughtful about your loss. I believe I deserve better and you're nicer than this. (But I did take the tax deduction.)"

How does he respond? "I am sorry if this hurt your feeling but I am being honest. I truly can’t remember if we received a note. Do you want me to lie? Sometimes I feel like you just want to beat me down, I don’t get it. Sorry!"

Nice jujitsu, Bud! Only I didn't and don't accept it. I told him that if someone cared about me as much as I do him, I wouldn't feel "beaten down." And then (both because it's true and because I'm not above fighting dirty), I reminded him that I've already inquired more often about his new dog's recovery than he has about my mother.

He sarcastically responded that he's sorry he doesn't do more for me. I told him I am also sorry he doesn't do more for me. And that's where it sits.

I'm sad and angry but I'm not backing down. He's almost 46 years old. He can accept responsibility for ignoring my emails and thank me for the gift. Like I said, I deserve it.

Image: luigi diamanti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Trifecta

This week's challenge: Using between 33 and 333 words, write a response including the third definition of the word: 
enig·ma noun \i-ˈnig-mə, e-\
3: an inscrutable or mysterious person

SHERRY & "HER GIRLS"

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Audrey Hepburn. Her Serene Highness, Princess Grace.

Sherry not only admired these women, she fixated on them. Her “girl crushes,” she called them. They were all considerably older than she, from an earlier generation when it was more common to keep your own counsel.

Not for her was Princess Diana, who willingly shared her feelings about Charles and Camilla with Martin Bashir … and a worldwide TV audience. Or Britney Spears, who in a sad display of manic-depression or rebellion gave the paparazzi a peek at her genitalia as she got out of a car. Or the Kardashians, who seemed to evaporate if they weren’t on camera.

It wasn’t just that Jackie, Audrey and Grace were beautiful and dressed and behaved, as Grandma would say, “like ladies.” It’s that each was an enigma, unwilling to share too much of herself with a voracious public. By holding back, they held us in their thrall.

Sherry was just the opposite. She was as complex as a glass of tap water. As mysterious as white bread. As sophisticated as a kitten. She suspected this was why she was chronically unlucky in love, and was certain that if she studied Audrey, Jackie and Grace closely enough, she would learn how to enchant men with her own aura of glamorous, inscrutable self-containment.

What Sherry never understood is how like "her girls” she already was. For while these icons may have enjoyed the enduring adulation of the masses, they – like Sherry – somehow never enjoyed the fidelity of the men who mattered most. If only they could respond, the women she admired so might just tell her that the heart is the greatest enigma of all.

Go, Cubs, Go!

Now today, THIS was a good game! The rain delay ran more than two hours. The pitcher originally pegged to start was battling the flu so a new puppy pitcher, Travis Wood, took the mound. He only allowed three hits in six innings and got a double.

These are new summer heroes for me -- Travis Wood, Darwin Barney, Bryan LaHair, Ian Stewart and David DeJesus, who got a walk in the 11th to force the winning run.

It's a new chapter. While April was really, well, difficult for Cub fans, I'm starting to feel the energy that comes in with the new regime.

Damn you, John Steinbeck!

It's a rainy Sunday and I was about to settle in and improve my mind. The film version of the Steppenwolf Production of Of Mice and Men starring Gary Sinise and John Malkovich is on. It's a beautiful play, and this production is like a unicorn. It theoretically made theater history here in Chicago in the 1980s, but I've yet to meet anyone who actually saw it. We were all too broke back then. So here's my chance, right?

No.

I can't.

It's because of Candy's dog. I know it's coming and I cannot bear to watch. Candy's dog used to herd sheep but now he's old and he farts and he doesn't see well and he can no longer enjoy his food because his teeth are so bad. But he's all Candy has in the world and he and that dog are inseparable. They love each other. One of the other farm hands convinces Candy that the dog is an eyesore and probably in pain and the only humane thing to do is put it out of its misery. At least then his old, useless life will be painlessly, quickly over. Offstage, he shoots the dog in the back of the head. Candy is filled with remorse because he betrayed his old and true friend and because now he's alone.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I was awake in English class. I know Candy's dog foreshadows the fates of Lennie and George. But I never got as worked up about Lennie as I did Candy's dog.

But what makes Steinbeck's original work so great is that it's filled with characters bound to burrow into the reader's/viewer's consciousness: slow-witted Lennie, responsible and resentful George, the outwardly flirtatious but deeply disappointed ranch wife … for me it was Candy and his dog. Breaks my heart. Thanks a lot, Steinbeck, you fucking genius.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Get Out of Jail Free Meme, Part One

1. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you use the restroom? No.

2. If you have to go grocery shopping, would you rather go alone or with someone? By myself. It goes faster.
 
3. It's your best friends' birthday, would you buy them a gift even though they didn't buy you one for yours. Yes. I love celebrating birthdays.

4. You win the lottery. Lump sum or small payments over a period of time? Why? If I win $5 million, after taxes my lump sum would be $3 million. Or I could receive $6000/month (after taxes) every month for the next 26 years. Because I'm an old broad, I might entertain the "small" payments. It would be a sure thing to carry me through retirement. I'm not sure I'd invest the $3 million wisely enough to last 26 years. (As you can see, I have given this a lot of thought.)

5. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Naturally I think I'm listening at a reasonable level. I'm not sure everyone else agrees.

6. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person? Beach, I suppose, since I don't ski. But I'm not a big lover of heat and especially not boiling sun. (I'm very pale.)
 
7. When do you brush your teeth? Morning and lunchtime.

8. Can you watch scary movies alone? Sure. I just don't like gore, whether I'm alone or with someone.

9. Soft bed or firm? And in fantasy land, who's in it with you? Firm. Bruce Springsteen.
 
10. Would you rather stay home all day, or be out and about? Yes. (The perfect day would be a combination of both.)

11. What's one of your worst memories (that you are comfortable sharing)? I worked very hard on Senator Kerry's 2004 Presidential campaign. It did not end well and it broke my heart. And continues to do so. A genuine hero's war record was successfully slimed on behalf of a man who assiduously avoided combat. How did that happen? Then there was waging two wars without the tax increases required to pay for them. And the escalation of the war in Iraq at the expense of Afghanistan. And Katrina. We're still paying for George W. Bush's second term. 
 
12. Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational? Depends.

13. Are you more likely to be with a large group of people or a few close friends? Close friends.

14. What are your plans for October? I don't have any right now.

15. If money were not a problem, where would you like to live? Here. Chicago is a joyous, liveable place. I'd just like to enjoy it from a much nicer place. With a view like this. Which I'd be lucky to get for (gulp) $4 million.

16. What is your ideal profession? I like what I do (advertising writing). I just wish I could afford to it to promote not-for-profits and causes I believe in.

17. Are you (or were you) close to your Mom and Dad? I'm close to my mom. My dad died in the 1990s, and our relationship was more than a little complicated.

18. What is one fear that you can't seem to overcome? Air travel. I'm terrified the whole time.

19. Are you good at math? Not remotely. All those calculations on the lottery win? Stolen from a website.

20. Editor's note. There is no question 20. It is sort of like getting a "Get out of Jail Free" card. We will do 21 to 40 next time. Peace & love!

Why I Love Blogging

My surgery was last September. Not that long ago in the scheme of things. And I had weeks and weeks away from work -- the longest time I've had off since I was 17. Yet I remember little of it. I remember just about every moment in the hospital, but little after I got home. Isn't that odd?

Fortunately I mused about it all. And Blogger has kept it organized and easy to find, as though it was just waiting for me to return to those September and October entries.

Trifecta

This week’s Trifextra challenge is simple, but ambiguous. Three truths and a lie. 

Three truths and a lie. I've told them all. But it's only in retrospect I know which was the lie, and that, sadly, I was deceiving myself as much as him.

I'll always love you … I'll always feel the way I do tonight … No one will ever be to me what you are … Your secrets are safe with me.


THIS JUST IN: The good people at Trifecta ranked this entry third. I'm surprised and very happy.
 

Kate vs. Zoey vs. Jennifer vs. Ellen! And the winner is ...

The cosmetic aisle at CVS looks an awful lot like the cover of a celebrity magazine. Look! There's Kate Hudson for Almay. Jennifer Garner for Neutrogena. Zoey Deschanel for Rimmel. Ellen DeGeneres for Cover Girl. And that's the skin care! Don't get me started on the fragrances. I believe I may have walked past Diddy's visage on my way to zit cover-ups.

I hate to admit it, but these ladies did influence my purchase. Of these celebs, I have the softest spot for Zoey. But the Rimmel concealer is also a highlighter and I'm looking to disguise a zit, not brighten my dark under eye area. Cover Girl didn't have one, so I didn't have to deal with my feelings for Ellen, one way or the other. That left Kate and Jennifer. I went with Neutrogena because it was cheaper, and because, well ... I think Kate Hudson is icky while Jennifer Garner seems so nice. I can't not consider their personalities when they're grinning down at me.

Remember when the aisle was filled with supermodels? I've lived through Twiggy and Cybill Shepard and Cheryl Tiegs and Cindy Crawford. I wonder when we turned from models to actresses as our beauty ideals.

Nothing but losers

As much as I admire Elizabeth Edwards, her writing and the way she lived her life, I have never been able to work up too much hatred for Rielle Hunter. She seems like a damaged, ditzy, overblown girl -- an emotionally stunted flower child who let herself be used by an opportunist. And now these two have a child, a little girl who is at the heart of a national, legal scandal. It's so very sad.

I learned something that validates my instincts about Rielle Hunter. She is the daughter of heartbreak and scandal herself. She was once Lisa Druck, the daughter of a wealthy FL attorney and a member of the privileged horsey set. She had a beautiful show jumper named Henry the Hawk. When her father hit hard times, he paid a guy named Tommy "Sandman" Burns to electrocute her horse for the insurance money. What's worse, the idea of using alligator clips to attach wires to the poor unsuspecting horse's ears was Mr. Druck's idea. Left less of a mark, looked more like natural causes, made it easier to convince the insurance company the poor horse died of natural causes. The FBI was involved and there was an ugly scandal, complete with indictments and jail time.

I used to think she changed her name from Lisa Druck to Rielle Hunter because it sounded more ethereal. Now I see it as patricide, denial of the father who killed her horse and broke her heart.

Makes me wonder what hells await little Quinn, another little girl at the center of a scandal. Let's hope history doesn't keep repeating itself.

Thursday Thirteen #169

THIRTEEN THINGS ABOUT 

YOUR NEXT SKIN-CANCER SCREENING

I'm writing this one partly as a reminder to myself to make an appointment and get in to see my dermatologist. I simply forgot last year's annual "mole check" and that was stupid. Skin cancer can spread to other organs and it's nothing to ignore.

Thanks to Allure for much of the information you see here.

1) May is Skin Cancer Detection/Prevention Month, so it's the perfect time to make an appointment to have your doctor check you over.

2) The exam should only take about 15 minutes.

3) Expect the doctor to ask you if there's a history of skin cancer in your family.

4) Try to remember: Did you burn a lot as a kid? Did you peel?

5) Do you wear sunscreen often? Do you now or have you ever fake-baked? (Tell the truth.)

6) You should take stock of your own moles before you go in, so you can answer when the doctor asks if any of have changed shape or color.

7) Yes, you'll have to get naked. Skin cancer can turn up anywhere from the top of your scalp to between your toes, and really doesn't care if it's location is embarrassing.

8) Remember to remove your nail polish, for skin cancer can begin to grow beneath a finger or toenail.

9) Expect to be examined with a magnifying glass.

10) But relax, because this is one exam that never hurts. If your doctor thinks something should come off, that will likely be done at a follow up appointment.

11) Most insurance companies will spring for the annual screening. That's because it's in their best interest. While skin cancer is on the rise, when it's caught early, it's one of the easiest cancers to cure.

12) While your GP can do this exam, it's recommended you have a dermatologist perform it.

13) If you don't have a dermatologist, visit the American Academy of Dermatology's website to find out where you can get a free skin-cancer screening in your city.

For more information about the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

www.wednesday

To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions…

• What are you currently reading? Capone: The Man and His Era by Laurence Bergreen. For lifelong Chicagoans like me, Al's life has cast a long shadow over our reputation and sensibilities. More so than any Belushi, Capone's up there with Oprah and MJ as representatives of Chicago. And yet, I know little about him that's true beyond the unfortunate incident in a garage on Valentine's Day and his time in Alcatraz. This book is very readable, entertaining and puts Capone's life in context. It's a dark immigrant saga, the ugly side of The American Dream. It's also more than 700 pages long! Purchased for $1 last summer at our annual library book fair, it looked a bargain and I'm certainly satisfied with the value. But this may be the book that sells me on an e-reader. It weighs a ton!

 
• What did you recently finish reading? Mrs. Kennedy and Me by Clint Hill. It was respectful and very, very poignant. As a career Secret Service agent, Clint Hill wanted to guard the First Family -- in fact, he felt passed over when he found that he was assigned to Jackie and not JFK. And then, it ended in tragedy and he still, at the age of 80, is tormented by the assassination and how, in his words, he "let this happen." It also has interesting, light-hearted moments. Jackie was a jock, a good skier, tennis player and golfer as well as equestrian, and her Secret Service agents had to work hard to keep up with her.

• What do you think you’ll read next? I don't know for sure, but maybe Found by Tatum O'Neal. Or maybe, after two tomes of non-fiction, I may want to return to a mystery. I have a lot of time to decide, as the Capone book is very long.

At least this story has a happy ending

My best friend lives just outside Denver. Sunday night his family endured a traumatic incident. His wife heard growling in the back yard, looked out and saw the silhouettes of two fleeing coyotes. She opened up the back door, looking for the family chihuahua, and he was gone. I can't imagine her terror at that moment.

Fortunately their chihuahua is one smart, tough customer. He escaped and made his way back to the porch. But he was in very bad shape -- two broken ribs and a collapsed lung. It wasn't until last night that they were sure he would make it. But the little warrior is home and barring infection -- no small risk considering the puncture wounds and deep scratches he sustained -- he'll recover.

It's tempting to hate on the coyotes, but they are just doing what comes naturally. We are encroaching on their territory and they are doing what it takes to survive. According to his local paper, the coyotes are especially aggressive this year. If your neighborhood has a coyotes problem, there are things you can do to discourage them from feeling at home in your yard.

• No pet food or water bowls outside ... EVER

• Double or triple bag your garbage

• No fruit bushes or trees

• Install motion-sensitive lights

If after all this, a coyote still comes onto your property, "haze" it. You can be a nuisance without actually hurting them. Toss pebbles at them, spray them with the garden hose, and crash pans together when they come near.

And whatever you don't, don't leave your dog or cat outside unattended, even for a moment! My best friend's yard is surrounded by a high fence, and look what happened anyway.

Hey, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah!

As April draws to a close it is worth reporting (and applauding) that I not only achieved my goal of 13 workouts this month, I exceeded it!

If only this was translating to weight loss ...

I tell myself that at least I'm healthier, and that having exercise as a regular part of my life cannot be a bad thing, now can it?

Trifecta

This week's challenge: Using between 3 and 333 words, write a response including the third definition of the word:
thun·der noun \ˈthən-dər\

3: bang, rumble

She used her time in the elevator to look through the day’s mail. The latest Drs. Foster and Smith catalog, a flyer and business card from an unnaturally gleeful real estate agent, and a letter from the hospital. She was confident she knew what it was – that same “all clear” form letter they send every year after her mammogram.

After reviewing the mammogram you had on 4/3/12, our radiologist requested that you return for additional studies for a complete evaluation. Most such findings are benign (not cancerous). A report of your mammography results was sent to your physician, whom you should call to discuss this matter further.

The thunder in her ears left her unable to hear the little “ding!” when the car arrived at her floor. It wasn’t until the doors opened and she looked into the friendly face of a neighbor waiting to board that she realized she was almost home.

And almost to her laptop. Her doctor wouldn’t be in until morning so there was nothing to do this evening except obsess and worry and troll the web.

WebMD: “80% of all breast lumps are benign …”

MayoClinic.com: “As many as 4 out of 5 breast lumps biopsied are noncancerous …”

The American Cancer Society: “Thanks to improvements in treatment and early detection, millions of women are surviving breast cancer …”

She awoke the next morning still on her sofa, still fully clothed, with the hospital’s website still on her laptop: “The Breast Care Center has a digital mammography unit for state-of-the-art diagnosis …”

Oh, God, it wasn’t a nightmare. This was real. While showering she noticed a bruise on her left breast where she had been poking it, trying to feel for herself this abnormality that was tormenting her.

The next ten days were among the longest in her life. But ultimately, the news was good. The next letter she received from the hospital began: We are pleased to inform you …

Borrowed from the Girl with the White Parasol

She borrowed it from him. If you choose to play, please let me know, and credit those two dedicated movie bloggers.

1) Favorite movie featuring nuns. The Trouble with Angels. It made being a nun look so safe and secure. As a pre-adolescent confused by the future and intimidated by growing up, I thought it was terrific. (Except for the "no guys" thing.)

2) Second favorite John Frankenheimer movie Birdman of Alcatraz

3) William Bendix or Scott Brady? Bendix

4) What movie, real or imagined, would you stand in line six hours to see? Have you ever done so in real life? Without a doubt, Jerry Lewis as Helmut Doork in The Day the Clown Died. First of all, how bad, how utterly tasteless could it be? I'm eager to find out. Secondly, I'd like confirmation of its very existence. After all, we've been hearing rumors about it for decades.


5) Favorite Mitchell Leisen movie Remember the Night. A holiday movie starring Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck. I think we all agree they aren't the most wholesome couple ever, and yet it's rather sweet.

6) Ann Savage or Peggy Cummins? Sorry, not familiar enough to answer.

7) First movie you remember seeing as a child. Mary Poppins. The heavy red curtains opened to reveal the rooftops of London. Thrilling!

 
8) What moment in a movie that is not a horror movie made you want to bolt from the theater screaming? Harvey Keitel naked in The Piano.

9) Richard Widmark or Robert Mitchum? Widmark. Because Lucy scaled his fence when the Riccardos were in Hollywood.

10) Best movie Jesus Ted Neeley

11) Silliest straight horror film that you’re still fond of Shewolf of London. C'mon! Lassie's mom and Gidget's dad and a lot of fur in jolly-old! You have to love it!

12) Emily Blunt or Sally Gray? Emily Blunt

13) Favorite cinematic Biblical spectacular Sorry, don't like 'em

14) Favorite cinematic moment of unintentional humor. "Boobies, boobies, boobies! Nothing but boobies! Who needs 'em? I did great without 'em!" The sublime Neely O'Hara from the incomparable Valley of the Dolls.

15) Michael Fassbender or David Farrar? Sorry, I got nothin'

16) Most effective faith-affirming movie. It's a Wonderful Life. Yeah, I know. It's corny. But I love it, and I love my friends and believe they make me richer.

17) Movie that makes the best case for agnosticism None

18) Favorite song and/or dance sequence from a musical. Get Happy from Summer Stock.

19) Third favorite Howard Hawks movie Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

20) Clara Bow or Jean Harlow? Harlow

21) Movie most recently seen in the theater? On DVD/Blu-ray/Streaming? Theater: Titanic in 3D. DVD: The Godfather

22) Most unlikely good movie about religion Two Mules for Sister Sara (it so is!)

23) Phil Silvers or Red Skelton? Red Skelton

24) “Favorite” Hollywood scandal Le Scandale on the set of Cleopatra

25) Best religious movie (non-Christian) Sorry, I got nothin'

26) The King of Cinema: King Vidor, King Hu or Henry King? (Thanks, Peter) Vidor

27) Name something modern movies need to relearn how to do that American or foreign classics had down pat  Small movies about real people. Like Holiday Affair. Too much emphasis on special effects and super heroes.

28) Least favorite Federico Fellini movie Spirits of the Dead

29) The Three Stooges (2012)—yes or no? No

30) Mary Wickes or Patsy Kelly? Mary Wickes

31) Best movie-related conspiracy theory JFK. Flawed theory but great filmmaking.

32) Your candidate for most misunderstood or misinterpreted movie Thinking of Oliver Stone: Scarface. You're idolozing a drug-addled loser who died in the end, people!

33) Movie that made you question your own belief system (religious or otherwise) Bonnie and Clyde introduced me to the idea of moral relativity. ("We don't want your money. Just the bank's.")

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Semi Charmed Meme, Part Two

21. A better name for me would be: She Who Must Be Obeyed

22. I have a hard time understanding: math

 

23. If I ever go back to school, I’d: appreciate the opportunity more

 

24. You know I like you if: I bother with you. No doubt about it, I'm becoming a hermit.

 

25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: dependent on what I won for

 

26. If I could bring back a TV show for a reunion it would be: Moonlighting. Whatever happened to David Addison?

 

27. Take my advice, never: allow a friend or lover to hurt you, telling yourself, "he didn't mean it." Trust me, odds are he did.

 

28. My ideal breakfast is: Eggs Benedict

 

29. A song I love, but do not own is: "Viva La Vida"

 

30. If you visit my hometown, I'd suggest: you tour the Frank Lloyd Wright buildings

 

31. If I could meet a couple of my blog buddies, I'd include: the bloggers at right. Hi, Ladies! Oh, and Bud, too.

 

32. Why won’t people: respect one another's space? Yesterday at the health club, a woman took up the entire bench with her stuff, even though the bench is obviously intended for six of us.

 

33. If you spend the night at my house: you better like cats.

 

34. I’d stop everything for: a chance to see Sir Paul again.

 

35. The world could do without: paranoid bigots (aka RWNJs)

 

36. The last time I got drunk I: woke up hoarse. Guess I was noisy. Oops.

 

37. My favorite blonde is: The Sundance Kid

 

38. Paper clips are more useful than: binder clips as murder weapons.

39. If I do anything well, it’s: care for critters.

 

40. And by the way: I wish I was back in my room at The Chiswell-Bucktrout House.

Off the rails

That's where my friend in Key West is, both emotionally and financially. He wants to move away from there today. Right now. IMMEDIATELY! Except he doesn't have another teaching job lined up, and houses in that market aren't moving. It doesn't help that he hasn't even put his up for sale ...

That's the thing of it. Whenever I suggest something that can help him in the short term, he says, "Yes, but ..."

"You could put your home up for sale so when a job on the mainland opens up, you can just jump on the opportunity without worrying about maintaining two households." Yes, but what if sold tomorrow (it won't) where would we live? (An apartment. It's easier to get out of a lease than a mortgage.)

"You could give Spanish lessons on your own." Yes, but having students over to the house would disrupt the dogs. (You could meet at Starbuck's, or anywhere with WiFi.)

"You could use this time to complete your dissertation. After all, a PhD would make you more employable." Yes, but I don't even know where to start. (Well, hell, I don't know either! I'm a community college dropout, you know.)

I'd be completely frustrated except he is such a good, good man. And this immature willfulness is not like him. It's as though losing his job as a professor at the community college broke his heart, broke his spirit. It confuses me, since he wasn't a teacher here in Chicago and he wasn't a teacher when he first moved to Key West. But he sees himself as a teacher, he loves being part of the academic community. I don't understand what he's going through, but I don't question his sincerity or his pain.

I'm worried about him. He has begun saying things like, "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself" and "I know you. You want to come down here and hide all the knives." These references to suicide are new and disturbing.

So yesterday I did something I normally wouldn't. I called his long-time lover and partner. We talked for nearly an hour. On the one hand, he told me that my friend is, indeed, "only interested in one-sided conversations" and isn't in a good place emotionally. On the other hand, I came away reassured that my friend has the support of a partner who loves him very much. He acknowledges that being with my friend right now is not easy, but they are a couple and they will make it through.

They have been together for decades now. They are not (and cannot be) legally married. They don't have any children to stay together for the sake of. And yet here they are, weathering a storm together. For no other reason than that they are in love. I find this very moving.

Mourning the Golden Girl

Watching Almost Golden on Lifetime, a made-for-TV movie about Jessica Savitch, the trailblazing but tragic NBC anchor who died in 1983. Sela Ward did a terrific job as the doomed golden girl, in tumultuous love with Ron Kershaw (also well played by Ron Silver). If you get a chance to see it, you should.

A little history lesson for anyone too young to recall her, or who isn't the news junkie I am -- the missing link in broadcast news between Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer was Jessica Savitch. She anchored NBC News Update, 60 seconds in primetime every night, which made her one of TV's most visible newspeople in those pre-cable days.

Here she is at her best. You Tube also features her rather infamous on-air meltdown, when her speech was so slurred that the control booth interrupted her minute broadcast with a mattress commercial. But you'll have to look that up yourself. I like this Jessica.


Beautiful and blonde and smart, she connected with the camera and had a gift for making the average viewer believe she was telling him a story, not reading from a script. She was such a gifted performer that people felt they knew her, just from one minute each night and the occasional story on the nightly news or subbing for the vacationing Jane Pauley on The Today Show. Viewers felt a personal connection to her that they didn't feel for Barbara Walters or John Chancellor. In terms of her ability to perform on camera, she seemed like a younger, prettier Walter Cronkite.

Only she wasn't. She was a star before she could learn how to be a journalist. And it helped kill her.

Jessica Savitch deserves to be remembered. Nearly 30 years after her death, she has something to say to today's women. She believed that we can have it all, but she didn't accept the price attached to that. She tried to be what "they" wanted her to be, before finding out who she was herself. Instead of accepting the past, especially the loss of her father, she kept trying to repair it.
 

I have an autographed copy of her autobiography, Anchorwoman. I got it on eBay. I have never read it because it's generally regarded as a whitewash of her painful life. But now I think I want to dust it off. I want to spend some more time with her. There are two other books, Golden Girl by Alanna K. Nash (my favorite) and Almost Golden by Gwenda Blair. Here's a link to the PEOPLE cover story on her death.

I don't want her to be forgotten.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: That's Why God Made The Radio

1. The Beach Boys are back together (everyone alive, Dennis and Carl have passed, including Brian) for the first time in 25 years. It's their 50^th Anniversary tour. Their new single is called, “That's Why God made the Radio”. Did radio play a huge part of your growing up years? Yes! As a kid I loved listening to Animal Stories with my "charming and delightful old Uncle Lar" (Larry Lujack) and his sidekick, "Little Snotnose Tommy." And then in my 20s, I was devoted to Steve Dahl and Garry Meier.

2. What is something that you are disappointed about right now? Since we're talking radio, I'll say Jonathan Brandmeier. He was a monstrously popular morning jock here in Chicago in the 90s. He's made something of a comeback but, to borrow from Carole King, one of us is changing, or maybe he just stopped trying. I tried listening to him for a week and found him more than slightly mean and definitely no longer funny. And his callers! That degree of fawning is really unattractive in 40+ year old men.
 

3. What are you really anticipating right now? My annual eye exam is at 1:30.
 

4. When was the last time you watched your favorite movie? What is it? It's The Way We Were. I watched it while taking down my Christmas tree, so it must have been in January.

5. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be? My grandpa. I really miss him.
 

6. Who was the last person you hung up on? My mom. But it's not as it sounds. We were done talking.

 
7. Does it bother you when meme makers separate questions that could've been combined? You know, I have never thought about this. Hmmm .... No, it doesn't bother me.
 

8. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? The okapi.
 

9. What is the food you always buy at the grocery store that you can't live without? Coke.