Sunday Stealing

THE BOOK OF QUESTIONS 

1. When you tell a story, do you often exaggerate?  I have been known to make a story more entertaining for my audience.

2. If a friend were almost always late, would you resent it or simply allow for it? My friend Barb was always late for our theater evenings, and I did resent it. She made way more than I did, so an $80 to $120 ticket didn't mean as much to her as it did to me. Similarly, the expensive meal that I had to snarf down, rather than enjoy, before the curtain didn't seem like a big deal to her. It was to me. I'm glad I finally told her how I felt. Since we worked in the same industry, she just assumed I'd "allow for it," forgetting that I was a few rungs behind her on the ladder. Rather than be late she began cancelling. While I missed her, it enabled me to ask another friend to take her place (and she always generously refused reimbursement from my friends for her ticket).

3. Can you be counted on to be on time? Pretty much. I take public transportation so I adhere to their schedule. Now if they're late, I can't help that!

4. When did you last yell at someone? Why? Yell? I don't yell often. I can snap and scold and be sarcastic, but I don't really yell too much anymore. 

5. If you could have free, unlimited service for five years from an extremely good cook, chauffeur, housekeeper, masseuse, or personal secretary, which would you choose?  If I could only choose one, it would be housekeeper, because I am an unorganized slob. But what I'd really like is a Bessie Cleary. She was the maid in the movie Laura. She cooked, grocery shopped, cleaned and even filed away personal correspondence for her mistress. She was so crazy loyal to Laura that she kept showing up for work, even after she was told her boss was dead! 

That's my girl Bessie, squeezing in to save Laura from the police

6. Would you be willing to go to a slaughterhouse and kill a cow? Do you eat meat? Yes I eat meat. No I wouldn't slaughter a cow myself. I prefer to pretend beef just shows up on styrofoam, wrapped in cellophane.

7. Do you feel ill at ease going alone to either diner or a movie? What about going on a vacation by yourself? Of course I'm comfortable going alone! I enjoy my own company and alone time rejuvenates me. That's why my trip to Hollywood for the TCM Classic Film Festival was so perfect for me. I stayed in the same hotel as members of my Chicago movie group, but I had my own room. I chose which movies I wanted to see and especially enjoyed sitting with the gang from home if it worked out that way, but was very fine if it didn't. 

8. Would you like to be famous? In what way? I would never want to be famous. The scrutiny and misperceptions would make me crazy. True story: Once Carolyn Bessette moved in with JFK, Jr., she was greeted every morning by paparazzi, every time she opened her front door to leave for work. They would shout things at her to get a better reaction shot. She worked in fashion and understood the press was interested in what she wore, so she devised a plan: She would put that day's outfit in a garment bag and send it to her office in a separate cab. Then she would leave the house wearing exactly the same, boring old thing (white blouse and black slacks). She reasoned that the value of the photos would go down if she looked the same in every shot and eventually they would abandon her doorstep. Guess what: the tabloids ran snarky stories about how dull this "fashion icon" was, wearing the same outfit every day, accompanied by photos. She gave up the ruse. Why would anyone want to live like that?

9. Would you rather play a game with someone more or less talented than you? More talented = more fun.

10. Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it? I'd love to return to the vacation spots I've previously visited and loved. When I was working I didn't the time. Now that I'm retired and my nest egg has to last the rest of my life, I don't think I have the money.

11. If you were at a friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner and found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do? I think it's interesting that the question specifies "dead cockroach." I must admit I'd be just as upset by a live, unspecified bug crawling across my salad.

12. Would you accept $10,000 to shave your head and continue your normal activities sans hat or wig without explaining the reason for your haircut?  Maybe. When Joe Maddon was our Cubs manager, he hosted "Respect Bald." During spring training, he and the players would have their heads shaved to raise money and show solidarity with pediatric cancer patients who lost their hair due to chemo. It was a lovely thing to do. (I miss Joe.) 

Joe Maddon being shorn for a good cause

13. If you were able to wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else, would you do so?  Whom would you pick?  I like me. I'll stick with me.

14. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? My mother was incredibly conflict averse, so many issues within our family went unaddressed. I understand and forgive, but would change it if I could.

15. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? You shouldn't make fun of anything the person can't help. It's cruel.

In case you've forgotten this disgrace, read about here