Saturday 9

Saturday 9: She's Not There (1964)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a young man who is upset his friends didn't warn him against a girl who turned out to be untrue. Have you ever involved yourself in a friend's love life with advice about a relationship? Yes. No one listens to me, though. As well they shouldn't. I am terrible at relationships. I'm like the Great and Powerful Oz. Pay no attention.

 

 
2) According to legend, this song was inspired by a girl who called off her wedding just weeks before the ceremony, humiliating her fiance and breaking his heart. Do you know anyone who was similarly left at the altar? Yes. A woman I worked with briefly, who glommed onto me like a carbuncle, was madly in love with a  creepazoid. He was remarkably, blatantly and comfortably anti-Semitic, so she and I stopped being friends. ANYWAY, I heard through the grapevine that she was planning a huge wedding. Lots of bridesmaids. The Princess Diana-esque size of the wedding raised some eyebrows because she was closer to 40 than to 20, but "Good for her," I thought. I mean, a Nazi isn't exactly the end of my rainbow, but chacun a son gout. Besides, she wasn't asking me to be a bridesmaid. ANYWAY, I called on Thursday to get my hair cut Saturday, expecting my stylist to laugh at me, and instead he said, "THANK GOD!" The bride and one of her bridesmaids had just cancelled and his Saturday morning was suddenly completely open. The bigoted bridegroom "just wasn't ready." Whatever. Win for me! If I sound heartless, it's only because I can't help thinking she's better off not married to a man who probably spends his Saturday night wearing a bed sheet and burning crosses on lawns.

 

3) The Zombies first played together as a bar band, popular at an English pub called The Blacksmiths Arms. What's the name of your favorite local restaurant or bar? Tapas Valencia. Actually, it's my friend Joanna's favorite. We were just there Friday to celebrate her birthday. The food is very good, they comped us a puff pastry in honor of her birthday, and best of all, because they adhere to social distancing and restaurant capacity restrictions, there was no band last night! Sorry, but I'm seldom in the mood for mariachi music.

4) The Zombies broke up after a few years but put all acrimony

I love matzo balls

behind them in 2019 when they reunited to perform at their induction into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. Have you ever been to Ohio? Yes. I did a presentation for a major vision company headquartered not far from Cincinnati. We didn't get the assignment. I bear Ohio no ill will. I recall a really great bowl of chicken soup at an old-school deli.

5) While 1964 is remembered as the first year of the British Invasion, when rock bands from the UK dominated the airwaves, it was also the year Barbra Streisand became a major star, featured on the covers of both Time and Life. Are there any magazines in your home right now? If so, who is on the cover? I see Windsors smiling up at me. William, Harry, Kate, Meghan ... I've got 'em all. Oh, wait! I spy Daniel Craig over there, too!

6) Also in 1964, actress Ena Hartman became one of the first African American actresses to have a speaking part on the country's top TV Western, Bonanza. Is your TV on right now, as you answer these 9 questions? Mr. Monk is solving a murder. I've seen this one a million times. Which is fine because I'm going back to sleep as soon I as finish these nine.

7) The "It's a Small World" ride was introduced at the 1964 New York World's Fair. It's now at Disneyland, Disney World, Disneyland Paris and Disneyland Hong Kong. Have you ever taken one of these Small World rides? Florida. It's the first Magic Kingdom I visited. No offense, but I loathe that song, so I'm quite sure I didn't repeat the experience in California.

8) General Douglas MacArthur's memoir was published shortly before his death in 1964. It became a best seller. Was the last book you finished fiction or non-fiction? Just yesterday I finished a massive (900 page) biography of Joseph P. Kennedy, the President's father. What a complicated man! He could be a shit and completely wonderful, sometimes on the same page. It's a meticulously researched book that debunks the most common misconception about JPK: He was never a bootlegger. He was a draft dodger, a womanizer and an unscrupulous businessman, but he never went awry of the law. He was too obsessed with maintaining his own, and his sons', political viability to be that reckless professionally. (Now when it came to women ...)

9) Random question: You find yourself calling the local garage often to get updates on your car repair. Every time you call, the person who answers the phone is abrupt to the point of rude. Do you: (1) let the person know you'd appreciate a change in tone; (2) ignore it; (3) complain to the boss? (2a) Try to ignore it but secretly feel bad and somehow responsible for it.