Well, that it explains it

Hadn't heard from my dear old friend in Key West in quite some time. Not since I returned from my vacation outside of Atlanta weeks ago! This is not like him. An attentive man who loves his friends like his family, he puts a great value on maintaining ties.

In the past week I called and left messages at his home, at his office, on his cellphone. I sent emails. I expressed my concern over and over again throughout the last few days.

He finally called me this morning and we had a lovely, hours and hours long chat. I'm so relieved! Why had he been incommunicado? A busy schedule, both teaching and taking university classes. And, most of all, his suffering and very ill-tempered lover.

His partner is trying to stop smoking and is having a TERRIBLE time. Nothing that he has used, not OTC nor prescription, has been able to help. The last avenue seems to be hypnosis. In addition to suffering from nicotine withdrawal, which I hear makes one ever-so grumpy, he has to deal with the self-loathing when he gives in.

My friend, never really much of a smoker who gave it up more than twenty years ago, is devoted to making the transition as easy as he can for his lover. If what his lover needs is a delicate combination of complete attention and total silence, so be it. My friend knows how hard his lover is trying to kick the habit.

This all surprises me. For his lover has always been -- at least with me -- downright defiant about his smoking. It's his privilege, his choice, he enjoys it, etc., etc., etc. Until this morning, I didn't realize it was all bravado designed to cover his inability to quit.