Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Cool Night (1981)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Paul Davis invites his old girlfriend to "come on over tonight." Have you more recently extended or received an invitation? Received. My former co-worker invited me to join her when she goes to see her boyfriend's band play here in my neighborhood.

2) He tells her she doesn't have to commit to any plans. Do you like having a schedule ahead of you with things to do delineated? Or do you prefer to see how your days naturally unfold? I prefer to not have plans. However, if I go too long without structure I get really lazy, so maybe what I prefer isn't what's best for me.

3) He wants them to cuddle by the fire. Will tonight be a cool night where you are? I've got the window open, so it's cool enough that I don't need the a/c.

4) A quiet night in front of the fireplace is likely how Paul Davis spent many evenings. When he died in 2008, his best friend remembered him as a quiet man, "a homebody" who liked staying up late into the night enjoying conversation and music with friends. Describe your perfect evening. Settling in with my cats and a good book, a good movie or a good ball game.

5) Mr. Davis also enjoyed playing pool and golf. Do you have a liking for either of those games? Not especially.

6) When he retired from music, Paul Davis returned to Meridian, MS, the town where he was born and grew up. Since we Americans can be a nomadic lot, let's find out: Is the town where you were born the same place where you spent most of your growing up years? When I was two, we moved 30 miles the from the town I was born in to the town I grew up in.

7) In 1981, when Paul Davis was a hit, so were The Rolling Stones with "Start Me Up." What's your favorite Rolling Stones' song? I'm no Stones fan, but I have always liked this one.

8) Also in 1981, Snoopy was all the rage, with kids and adults alike. You could buy Snoopy magnets, pencils, pencil sharpeners, note pads ... even a Snoopy bulletin board. If today we went shopping for office supplies, what would you pick up? I have a passion for binder clips.

9) Random question: In a biopic of your life, who would play your mom and dad? My dad is easy because he loooooved Archie Bunker, and I could see why. He was opinionated, stubbornly old school and always filled with grievance about "them." My mom could have been a typical sitcom mom, but she wasn't typical. While she loved her kids and her yard and pets and enjoyed getting her hair done, she hated housework and cooking. So maybe June Cleaver, but wearing jeans in the garden instead of pearls in the kitchen.

 

I thought it would happen, and it has

Ceecee quit. My boss at the card shop is leaving. She's going just a few blocks away to manage the new J. Crew store. But I'm bereft all the same. She's the one who decided last year to give me a chance, even though I have no relevant experience. She's done whatever she could to accommodate my schedule. She's forgiven my fat-fingered forgetfulness on the register. 

But I have been expecting this. Ever since our store became a soft target for shoplifters, she has been unhappy with the lack of support she's received from Corporate. So has Jen, the assistant manager I work with most often. I expect her to be gone soon, too. (I know she's interviewing.)

I don't know what all this means for me. Ceecee and Jen appreciate my strengths -- my comfort chatting with clients and promoting the sale items -- and are patient with my aforementioned fat-fingered forgetfulness on the register. The money isn't tremendous but it helps. I love the discount. I also think it's been good for me to have the structure of a job. I began working when I was 17 and found during my year of complete retirement that I need something like this to keep me sharp and content.

So I hope that the new manager, whoever they may be, won't rock my world. Fingers crossed.

Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash

Thursday Thirteen #378

13 things I do with my new love. I just bought a new bottle of white vinegar. It used to be that  16 ounces lasted forever, but I find I'm using it more than before. It's inexpensive, effective, and I don't worry about me or my cats breathing noxious fumes.

So here are 13 uses I found while tooling around the web.

1. Kill food odors in the microwave. This is my fave. I mix white vinegar with water in a shallow dish and heat it for a minute. Then I leave the bowl in the microwave for another 5-10 minutes, but with the door open. You'd never know that last night I reheated lasagna. 

2. Add life to your kitchen sponge. OK, I used to think this one was lame because sponges are readily available and easy to replace. But then one evening I was in full-on cleaning mode and found myself with only one sponge left (and not in the mood to run to the store for new ones). Fill a bowl with white vinegar and submerge your sponge. Then let it soak in clear water. Voila!

3. Freshen the washing machine. The grocery shelves now feature expensive products designed to remove smells and residue from your washer. Instead, try running it with no clothes but a cup of white vinegar.

4. Clean the dishwasher. Ditto.

5. Improve your showerhead flow. The mineral deposits that hamper dishwasher efficiency can also mess with your showerhead.

6. Refresh your kitchen drain. Remove smells by first pouring vinegar down the drain and following with hot water.

7. Remove adhesive. Get rid of that sticky stuff that remains behind after you peel off a sticker or label.

8. Wash your floors. I have tile in my bathroom and entryway and vinyl in my kitchen and it works great. (But don't use it on hardwood.)

9. Spray the inside of your shower curtain or door. Vinegar can slow the growth of mold and mildew.

10. Scrub your cups. It can remove those stubborn coffee and tea stains.

11. Wipe down your cutting board. White vinegar can help prevent food contamination if you use the same board for meat/poultry and fruits/vegetables.

12. Clean kids' bath toys. As a childless cat lady, I can't personally attest to this. But I'm told that those squeaky bath buddies are a breeding ground for germs and mold, inside and out. So soak them in warm water mixed with vinegar, then rinse them in clear water and let them air dry.

13. Get rid of ants. Vinegar repels them and it's safe to use around food and pets.

Have you got a vinegar hack that I missed?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? We Are Too Many by Hannah Pittard. I thought that after spending 1,000 pages with a book written in the 20th century about life and love in the 19th century, it would do me good to read some contemporary non-fiction. This book is so very different from GWTW that I almost got the bends.

This memoir is heavily dialog-driven and often reads like a play without stage direction. Hannah and Patrick (not his real name) fall in love, get married, fall out of love, and their marriage blows up when he has an affair. As she tells her (mostly) true story, she is honest about her responsibility for the deterioration of the relationship even before the affair. But I'm only about a quarter of the way in and I'm not yet sure if I like her. I hope I become fond of her because it will make the book resonate more. I definitely like Elmer, the couple's dog. He is a good boy.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. I spent a month with the denizens of The County and Atlanta and now that it's over, I miss them. Scarlett -- brave, vain, stubborn and strong -- and her country neighbors. Melanie -- honest, decent, just as brave but never as strong -- and the townfolk. It struck me as a I reread this book (possibly my tenth time through, though the first time in at least a decade) that the male characters are all really in service of the females. I paid closer attention this time to Scarlett's Robillard relatives, especially the backstory of her mother, Ellen. In her way and in her time, Ellen was just as passionate as her daughter, though had Scarlett known she never would believed it.

 

I remain in love with Rhett Butler. My friend Elaine has also read the novel and seen the movie (multiple times) and insists whole heartedly she would be happier with Ashley Wilkes. Whatever. Rhett was hot. Not just because of his tan, hairy chest and strong arms. (Though they help.) I think it would be wonderful to find a man who knows me, understands me, and still loves me.

But, as I've said before, this book so very, very disturbing. The false equivalency between The Union and The Confederacy, the justification of slavery, the celebration of The Ku Klux Klan. Of course I cringed and winced. Still, I think it's important to remember that Scarlett felt this way in the 1800s, Margaret Mitchell obviously agreed in the 1900s, and unfortunately, some of our citizens find all this defensible in the new millennium. As much as the storytelling, that makes GWTW worth reading.

3. What will you read next? Something light!

 

 

 

Teaser Tuesday

Here's how to play.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!) 

Since Hannah Pittard's We Are Too Many tells us upfront that it is a look at a marriage gone wrong, this is not a spoiler. It made me wish that, at the angry and often tearful but always kinda unhinged moments of break-up, I had been as together as our author, Hannah.

Hannah: You had sex with Trish? 

Patrick: Yes.

Hannah: Do you think you're in love?

Patrick: It's confusing.

Hannah: Thanks for your honesty. I get the house. I get the car. I get the dog. I'll see a lawyer Monday.

Patrick: Did you rehearse that?

Hannah: I didn't. But it's good, isn't it?

From mornin' till night

This song has been running through my mind all day. Because today started well and stayed good till now, when I have my pjs on.

First I went to the orthopedist. It was a follow-up appointment. Last month, for the initial consultation, my knee was so inflamed and achy that I had to take a rideshare. This morning, I walked the 8/10 of a mile. That's how much better my arthritic old knee is, with just exercises, ice and stretches! (I'm not even taking ibuprofen anymore.) He suggested a bone density scan and was pleased to learn I already have one scheduled. Best of all, I have no "next appointment" scheduled. He doesn't see any reason to see me again unless the swelling and pain return.

Then I took Joanna to lunch. We celebrated her birthday in style. There's a restaurant/winery in my neighborhood that's a little better than the usual places we frequent. She had the chicken piccata with a glass of pinot noir. I had the gnocchi carbonara (delicious!) with a strawberry mule. For dessert, we had truffles with a birthday candle. Because I splurged so on the meal, I had to economize on her gift. I picked up this desk calendar for her, using my 40% card shop discount. She seemed pleased with it, all the same. I was happy to fuss over her, as she's been having a hard time financially in 2024.

The evening ended with my movie group. We discussed Human Desire, a seldom-seen noir from 1954. The movie was provocative and we had a lively conversation.

I wish all days could be as good as this one.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Drive to You (2006)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Jewel sings that she can't sleep and is staring at the ceiling. Did you fall asleep easily last night? Yes. But only because I gave in and ran the window a/c unit all night. I hate doing that, especially in mid-September! But it's still 85º+ during the day and my building is brick, plus my bedroom windows face west, so it gets so damn hot in the afternoon and without the a/c it just doesn't cool off enough to be conducive to comfortable sleeping.

2) She concludes that the only thing to do is drive to her lover's side. Last time you got behind the wheel, where were you headed? I wasn't behind the wheel, but my last car ride was a Lyft home after a trip to the vet (for Connie's prescription cat food) and the grocery store (for my grub).

3) Jewel grew up in Alaska. Have you ever visited our largest state? Nope. I'd like to, though. Whenever I consider a cruise, it's always one to Alaska.

4) She once performed at the Sydney Opera House, which is more than 7,300 miles away from Anchorage. There are no direct commercial flights between those two cities. Given your choice, would you rather spend less on travel but have to change flights, or spend more and fly non-stop to your destination? I'll pay extra to fly non-stop, thank you.

5) Actor Sean Penn developed a crush on Jewel after seeing her perform on TV and attended many of her concerts during her 1995 tour. What's the best concert you ever saw? Sir Paul at Wrigley Field.

6) She married Ty Murray, a successful rodeo cowboy. Have you ever attended a rodeo? I believe I did when I was a very little girl, but I recall little about it.

7) In 2006, the year "Drive to You" was released, Al Lewis died. He was best known as Grandpa on The Munsters. It's time for you to declare where you stand on this issue: do you prefer The Munsters of The Addams Family?

The only correct answer

8) 2006 was a very good one for tennis pro Roger Federer. He reached the finals in all four Grand Slam tournaments, and won three. What's the last game you won? (Yes, Wordle counts.) I lost at online canasta to a bot, which was quite humbling.

9) Random question: Using one word, how would you describe 2024 so far? Painful. Both emotionally and physically. But, to invoke Sir Paul, I have to admit it's getting better.

 

Thursday Thirteen #377

The red, itchy, scratchy edition. I have very pale skin and rashes bedevil me. As I write this, I have a big splotch just over my left breast ... and I'm concentrating on not scratching or rubbing it. Fortunately my clothes cover it in public.

I am not alone. OTC rash treatments are a big business. Just diaper rash creams alone are a billion dollar industry. So there's a lot of redness and itching and scratching out there!

 

Here are 13 facts about skin rashes:

1. No one race or ethnicity is inherently susceptible to skin rashes. Mine just show more because my skin is so light.

2. Everyone will develop a rash at one time or another, beginning with diaper rash as a baby.

3. The most common type of skin rash is contact dermatitis. This is a reaction to something that irritates the skin (like a new fragrance or laundry detergent).

4. Hives are common, too. (I suspect this is what I'm dealing with right now.) Hives can be a reaction to bug bites, airborne allergens and extreme temperatures.

5. A rash can be an indication of an infection, like strep throat.

6. It can also be a sign of viral infection, such as chicken pox or covid. (When I had covid in 2020, it wasn't breathing that was hard. I was bedeviled by gastrointestinal issues and the worst rash. It actually bled!)

7. It's not a myth: scratching a rash will make it worse. Scratching releases serotonin, which just intensifies the itch. Better to leave it alone or, if you must, rub it.

8. A warm oatmeal bath can provide relief. (Look for colloidal oatmeal in the ingredients.)

9. Soaking in Epsom salts can help, too, because they not only soothe irritation, they help remove dry, dead skin.

10. Hydrocortisone cream can help reduce both the itch and irritation.

12. So can calamine lotion. I haven't tried this because it seems so old school, so Girl Scout camp. But that's just silly on my part. Next time I go to the drug store, I'll drop a bottle in my basket.

13. Don't be shy about calling your healthcare provider about skincare. Especially if the rash appears suddenly, spreads quickly, or forms sores.

 

How about you? How is your skin feeling today?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

Teaser Tuesday

Here's how to play.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!) 

Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind is told almost exclusively from Scarlett's point of view. That's why this passage stood out to me. Scarlett has announced to the household that she's going to Atlanta to talk to a banker about a mortgage on Tara so they can pay the taxes. Ashley understands that she will come back with the money needed to keep the plantation ... no matter what. 

He remembered the way she had squared her shoulders when she turned away from him that afternoon, remembered the stubborn lift of her head. His heart went out to her, torn with his own helplessness, wrenched with admiration. He knew she had no such word in her vocabulary as gallantry, knew she would have stared blankly if he had told her she was the most gallant soul he had ever known. He knew she would not understand how many truly fine things he ascribed to her when he thought of her as gallant. He knew that she took life as it came, opposed her tough-fibered mind to whatever obstacles there might be, fought on with a determination that would not recognize defeat, and kept on fighting even when she saw defeat was inevitable.

That's my girl! Doing whatever it takes to keep a roof over the heads of the 13 people who depend on her.

Sunday Stealing

More of those 200 Questions

1. What takes up too much of your time? This. I spend way too much time online.

2. What do you wish you knew more about? Oh, so many things! Right now, I'd like to better understand my musculature and how I can overcome the issues with my back, shoulder and knee.

3. What’s the best way to start the day? Cuddling a cat.

4. What mystery do you wish you knew the answer to? What/how do my cats think?

5. What’s your favorite genre of book or movie? Depends on my mood.

6. What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home? Either Paris or Honolulu. They're both about 4,000 miles away.

7. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? I love Springfield, IL. It's where Mr. Lincoln went from country lawyer to President. It's such a privilege to walk where he walked.

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree for fun? Junior high. My grandpa's apple tree.

9. What do you consider to be your best find? Hmmm ... I'll go with my cats again for this one. I found them in shelter and they have enriched my life immeasurably.

10. What’s special about the place where you grew up? I really wasn't crazy about the place I grew up. No diversity, no imagination. The best thing I can say about it that it's a 30-minute train ride from Chicago.

11. What age do you wish you could permanently be? 35. I felt womanly, powerful, and sexy.

12. What fictional place would you most like to go? Nero Wolfe's brownstone. Mr. Wolfe is the hero of Rex Stout's mystery series, and I have a mad crush on the series narrator, Archie Goodwin, who lives in the brownstone.

13. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been? Good goobies, it's hard to choose between the spas I've visited! I suppose I give the edge to the spa of Colonial Williamsburg.

The charming walk to my happy place

14. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I enjoy the work of Thomas McKnight.

15. Who has impressed you the most with what they have accomplished? Right now, I'll name my friend Joanna. She's suffered financial and professional setbacks over the past few years and, as she turns 70 this month, it would be easy for her to feel beaten down. But she doesn't give up. She's working on proposals and she's networking and she's focused on resurrecting the consulting business she's built.

The Girls Are Fighting Again

Melanie and Scarlett are once again doing battle for my soul. Whenever what I just naturally -- and often quite passionately -- want to do is at odds with what I know I should do, I conjure up the redoubtable heroines of Gone with the Wind. Scarlett is impulsive, willful, and most of all, a realist. Melanie is above all decent. She sees the best in everyone and wants those in her sphere to be happy and comfortable.

I always want to be Melanie. But at heart I am more Scarlett.

No one stirs up this conflict more than my oldest friend. We've been friends since Kindergarten. I love her to the moon and back. But she's bipolar. This condition first presented itself about 17-20 years ago, when we were in our late 40s. She began unraveling, but in small ways, as it became obvious that her relationship with a kind, well-meaning man was not going to result in marriage. I regret that I didn't truly understand what I was seeing at this time. Perhaps I could helped. But, in my own defense, she was seeing a shrink. 

Sure, she was smoking again, gaining weight and running up her credit cards. But she also had a good and secure job, managing the practice of pediatric cardiologist in the burbs, and she had her home: a 3BR ranch on a decent-sized lot.  When her love affair finally ended because she kept pushing for matrimony, she spun out. 

She had to move to Southern California. NOW. Chicagoland was too flat and winters were too cold and dark. (Um ... you've lived here 50 years and you're just noticing that NOW? Oh, shut up. Scarlett.) She quit the job for the doctor who appreciated her and sold that house in a short sale for less than $100 (!) and took off for Beverly Hills.

Now of course I told her at the time that this was not a wise course. Yes, Chicago's housing market was depressed in the 2010s and that, combined with a refinance, left her with little equity in her home. But it was still 3 bedrooms and 1.5 baths with a yard and a garage. There's always value to that. It was obviously only a matter of time before it would be worth more again. Why not wait two years? Put a little money aside, build equity. But she was in the grips of mania. She had to get out of Chicago. NOW.

Fast forward to 2024. She's unemployed and subsisting on Medicare and Medicaid. Her landlady is trying to evict her, and she can't find alternative Section 8 housing. She's diabetic and suffering from a chronic kidney condition. She can't walk without a cane.

Her daughter, now back here in the Midwest to visit her father's family, drove past her childhood home and snapped a photo, which she shared with her mom.

"Oh, Gal! I fucked up!" So read the text I got from Friday. She now understands that the house she walked away from 15 years ago for less than $100 is now worth (gulp) at least $275,000.* Not the news she needs to lift her spirits when she's consulting a public aid lawyer to keep her rental roof over her head.

Here's what I posted about her life in California in real time, back in 2010.

I was right. I have always been right. She should have listened to me.

The Scarlett in me really, really wants to say all that. I want to ask why the fuck she didn't listen to a single syllable I had to say. Does she think I'm stupid? Or did my wise counsel just not fit into her harebrained scheme of the moment? I want to hear her tell me I was right.

I know what Melly would do. Melanie would tell her that she did what she thought was best at the time and why look back.

I'm not quite full-metal Melly yet. I ignored the text.

Instead I sent her an atta-girl postcard. On the back I wrote, "This isn't a defeat, it's a detour. Keep phoning and emailing in search of a new home. Something good will come your way. Love, Gal."

That's the best I can do. 

*That may be an unfair comparison. If she had waited a year or two, as I'd counseled, she could have sold it for about $180,000 and likely took off for California with $30,000 in profit. 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Minute by Minute (1979)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) It's easier to keep track of the minutes if your timepiece has a second hand. As you answer these questions, are you wearing a watch or can you see a clock that has a second hand? Yes. I'm in the bedroom and the alarm clocks on my nightstand each have a second hand. (Yes, I have two alarm clocks. I like to make sure I get up on time.)

2) In this song, Michael McDonald admits he knows his girl has lied to him. Do you suspect any one of your friends/family has fibbed to you recently? Nope.

3) McDonald's big break came in 1973 when he joined Steely Dan's touring band. What do you consider your first professional success? In 1981, I was plucked from the Sears Corporate secretarial pool and promoted to catalog copywriter. And my world changed.

4) In 1975 he joined The Doobie Brothers. He was originally supposed to be a temporary replacement for Tom Johnston, but he ended up working with the band uninterrupted for seven years. Tell us about something that's happened to you that turned out better than you anticipated. I went to a wedding Saturday night. I hadn't been looking forward to it, but I had a nice time, after all.

5) In 1986 he guest starred on an episode of The Young and The Restless. Have you ever been hooked on a daytime drama? I was enthralled by the high school romances of Tara Martin and Phil Brent and Chuck Tyler and, of course, Erica Kane.

6) Michael and wife Amy raised their family near Nashville, where they had their own pond and a garden they lovingly tended. Do you enjoy yard work? I have no yard.

7) In 1979, when "Minute by Minute" was popular, movie star John Wayne died. In 2004, the US Postal Service honored him with a stamp. What was in the last envelope you stamped and dropped in a mailbox? The premium for my life insurance policy. It must be paid by check; there's no online payment option.

8) In 1979, the most popular new car was the Oldsmobile Cutlass. Ads promised drivers the Cutlass could make it easy to get in and out of tight parking spots. Are you good at parallel parking? No. I suck.

9) Random question: Did you know your great-grandparents? I knew my maternal great grandmother. She was called "Bunna" because when my mom was a baby she couldn't pronounce "Grandma." We visited Bunna in the old people's home once/year. I remember she used a cane and always wore floral dresses and gym shoes. I think our visits were limited because my dad didn't like Bunna, or maybe the home freaked him out. There was a weird vibe there but nobody talked about it. Anyway, my mom talked to Bunna on the phone regularly and was very sad when she died. I was 9 or 10.

 

The TMI post

I didn't expect this to be stressful. The test required me to collect a day of urine in a big jug, then shake it up and fill a test tube. The lab provided me with a prepaid FedEx package. I was given a number to call for pick up. Easy-peasy, right? 

Well, no. Since the lab is reviewing not only the content of my output but the amount, I had to choose 24 hours when I would be certain to be home so I could add to the jug every time I went to the bathroom. So that took a little planning. Then there's the fact that I'm a woman, so my kit had a little something extra in it: a "collection device" to slip between the toilet seats. However, it didn't fit securely so I had to place it and remove it every time. My cat, Roy Hobbs, was confused and fascinated by this "collection device." I wiped it out as well as I could but I wouldn't be surprised if a cat hair made its way into the jug, too. I hope it doesn't spoil the sample. I don't want to do this again.

Then there was FedEx. I called Wednesday AM, the day I was doing the collecting, and scheduled a pick up for Thursday morning. I explained that it contained a test tube I was returning to a lab, so timing was important and I couldn't leave it downstairs in the lobby of my building; the driver would have to ring the bell. Unfortunately, the customer service rep seemed more amused by my last name -- which he'd never heard before! -- than interested in the details of my order. Because he didn't fill me with confidence, I read and reread the number he gave me back to him, to make sure everything was in order.

Since I had a bad feeling, I called at 7:30 Thursday morning, just to confirm the package would be picked up between 9 and 5. Again, timing is important. Guess what: somehow it had been cancelled. (I knew he was a dipshit.)

What the fuck! This sample is time-sensitive. The kit clearly states: "Any sample received after 96 hours from the start time will be rejected."

I worked with a super-helpful woman named Desiree who rescheduled me. For between "now and 1:00." Of course this meant I couldn't even take a shower or take that icky jug and "containment device" out to the dumpster until FedEx arrived because I had to be nearby to respond to the doorbell. Naturally, he came at 12:40. 

I admit it: I was a wreck. I tried to distract myself from worry that FedEx wouldn't come through. I worked on my GOTV postcards. I cleaned the bathtub. But mostly I worried. 

After I handed it off, I couldn't wait to get into the shower! Then I took a nap. 

In the olden days, I handled stress better than I do now. I had deadlines and art directors and producers to deal with, and it didn't exhaust me like yesterday did.

But as I reflect I realize two things:

1) In my professional life, I had more control than I did yesterday.

2) I understood everything that went on at work. Yesterday was new to me.

So now it's over. Now all I have to do is wait for the results, which will give the urologist the info he needs to give me diet tips to slow further kidney stone formation. So it's all good.

Plus, I now appreciate just going to the bathroom without all that rigmarole.

Thursday Thirteen #376

Thirteen Popular Ice Cream Flavors. There's a teeny-tiny ice cream shop on the other side of town that's very popular. It's independently owned, employs high school students and is only open for six months each year. Plus the ice cream is delicious.

This year they have been promoting their new flavor: raspberry. I admit that, despite the shop's reputation for quality, I have no interest in trying it. I just don't like how it looks. Anyway, I wondered what flavors most Americans like, and this is what the International Dairy Foods Association has to say on the subject.

Here's the countdown:

13. Coffee

12. Chocolate peanut butter

11. Rocky Road

10. Neopolitan

9. Caramel

8. Mint chocolate chip (my favorite)

7. Cookie dough

6. Butter pecan

5. Chocolate chip

4. Strawberry

3. Cookies and cream

2. Chocolate

1. Vanilla!

Which one is your favorite?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

Teaser Tuesday

Here's how to play.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!) 

When Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind opens, Scarlett is 16 years old. She is so spoiled and pampered she doesn't even realize how spoiled and pampered she is. By the time we reach this passage, 330 pages later, Scarlett is 18. She's seen war and pain and deprivation and death.

Tonight, when Atlanta was so quiet, she could close her eyes and she was back in the rural stillness of Tara and that life was unchanging. But she knew that life in the County would never be the same again. She thought of the four Tarletons, the red-haired twins and Tom and Boyd, and a passionate sadness caught at her throat. Why, either Stu or Brent might have been her husband. But now, when the war was over and she went back to Tara to live, she would never again hear their wild halloos as they dashed up the avenue o£ cedars. And Raiford Calvert, who danced so divinely, would never again choose her to be his partner.  And the Munroe boys and little Joe Fontaine and —
“Oh, Ashley!” She sobbed into her hands. “I’ll never get used to you being gone.”

When I came upon this, I realized, "I do this!" I do this in the morning when I first wake up. I do this when I hear a song on the radio. I do this when I'm not actively focused on something else. My mind goes back to when I still had Henry and John. And then I understand life will "never be the same again."

 

I no longer know how to flirt

I went to a wedding Saturday night. I admit I was dreading it. Weddings are less fun when you don't have a date, and I never have a date. Plus I'm a friend of bride's mom, so I assumed going in I wouldn't know many of the other guests. I was right.

Still, I'm glad I went. I held the bride when she was a newborn. Her big brother, whom I've known since he was in preschool, officiated. He's now a dad and his toddler son preceded the bride down the aisle. Seeing all that history parade past, being able to enjoy what lovely and productive adults they have grown into, was very moving.

The ceremony and reception were held at Salvage One, a repurposed vintage warehouse. In between the events I wandered, solo of course, around this unique and fascinating space. An age-appropriate man -- turns out he was the groom's uncle -- was shadowing me and finally we began chatting. Amiably. We talked about how the stuff we grew up with in the 1960s is now "vintage." The mother of the bride, my friend, spotted me and gestured me to join her. She wanted me to spend some time with her toddler grandson. As I moved away from the man I was talking to, he actually looked sad. Oh, my God! We'd been flirting! It's been so long since I hung around with a man who wasn't gay, married, or far too young for me that I didn't know what flirting looks like anymore.

Onto the reception. When I first settled in at my assigned table, I found myself seated beside and across from women I'd met at previous gatherings at the home of my friends (the bride's parents). Everything was going well until the music started. It made it difficult to converse with anyone but the person immediately beside you. Gulp. The person to my left was another age-appropriate single man. (Who knew there would be at least two at this wedding?) He was a "third wheel," there with his adult children, who grew up with the bride. When we introduced ourselves, I extended my hand because I'm used to shaking hands with new people. He held mine a little too long, making me uncomfortable. Oh, here's that flirting thing again! He and his twenty-somethings came in from New York, and while they were clearly into college football (and seemed to have money on some games), he was still a New Yorker, so I asked him if he was aware of the baseball games going on this weekend at Wrigley Field (see post below). Then I couldn't wait for the food to arrive because I just didn't feel like doing the hetero man-woman thing.

First of all, while obviously there was something attractive about me in my coral knit pantsuit with the mesh bell sleeves, I feel (and am) very fat. Second, it's been a very long time since I kissed or even danced with a man and I just didn't feel like giving it a try with either of the available candidates.

So after dinner -- and after observing the bride and groom's first dance, as well as hers with her dad and his with his mom -- I ducked out. I'm glad I went but I was also more than ready to get home.

Sunday morning I awoke to a text from my friend, the mother of the bride. She said she was sorry she didn't have a chance to hug me before I left because she was "grateful for the positive influence" I have always been on her kids. Wasn't that lovely?

 

Photo by Nick Karvounis on Unsplash