Thursday Thirteen #304

The thirteen top places we shop. According to the National Retail Federation, this is where we spent our money in 2022. At $460 billion, Walmart is #1 by far. I'm surprised. I expected it to be Amazon ($219 billion).

1. Walmart
   
2. Amazon
   
3. Costco
   
4. The Home Depot
   
5. Kroger Grocery Stores
   
6. Walgreens
   
7. Target
8. CVS
9. Lowe's
   
10. Albertson's
    
11. Apple Stores/iTunes
    
12. Royal Ahold (Stop and Shop, Food Giant)
    
13. Publix

Amazon, Target and Albertson's are my go-tos. I also go out of my way to shop at least once/month at the little mom-and-pop on the other side of town. What about you? Where does your retail money go?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

It must be nice

 ... to be MAGA in that every day is a new dawn and you have no memory of anything that went before.

There is much gasping and handwringing over the "political persecution" of Donald Trump. How now we are a "banana republic" with a "weaponized" justice department. How convenient to have forgotten that they voted for a man who made "Lock Her Up" his rallying cry in in 2016 and never let it go.

November 2016

A year after the election and he's still obsessed with investigating and punishing her.

 

This man's brand is pettiness and using power to "settle scores."

So I prefer to think the 38% of Americans who oppose the indictment just have remarkably short memories. Otherwise I'd need hip boots to wade through the hypocrisy.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry. This memoir was published to tremendous media attention last fall. The blitz made me almost afraid to read it. I was concerned that it would dampen my enjoyment of Friends. As Chandler might say: Could I love the show more? Could Matthew Perry be a bigger part of it? But I needn't have worried. There really isn't that much detail about Friends in this memoir. 

It is, however, sad and breathtaking so far. Sad in all he endured as he battles addiction, breathtaking in its honesty and self-revelation.

2. What did you recently finish reading?Madam President by Nicolle Wallace.  Our first woman President, Charlotte Kramer, is in her second term. Her first was marked by marital and family scandal, and she has hopes that her last four years will be have less personal drama so she can do her best and make real change for the American people. No such luck. Just as she begins to move confidently forward, the country is attacked by terrorists.*

This is political chick-lit, and I love it. President Kramer is surrounded by smart, powerful women. Melanie Kingston is her Secretary of Defense. Dale Smith is her Press Secretary. As they efficiently shape domestic and foreign policy, they deal with (respectively) a disinterested husband, a high-risk pregnancy, and a suitor who is too ready for marriage. They also compare/contrast Eileen Fisher and Jil Sander, weekend at Camp David, and attend a Sondheim production at the Kennedy Center. 

Nicolle Wallace is my fantasy Republican BFF. She worked in the George W. Bush White House and her insider knowledge shows. She's also spent a decade in TV and she knows that world, too. She cleverly imagines what the world would be like if Regis and Kelly had moved from daytime to evening to become "serious" network news anchors. (She changed the names, but it's Regis and Kelly, and it's wickedly funny.)

3. What will read next? The Secret of the Old Clock by Carolyn Keene. Yes, I'm revisiting the first Nancy Drew book! Country Dew said she'd reread them recently, and I'm following her lead.

*That would be foreign terrorists. This book was published in Spring 2016, before anyone could even imagine MAGA nutjobs attacking the Capitol. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you actually believe 138 police officers were injured during a routine tourist visit?

 

Turns out I'm not Mary after all

I grew up on Mary Tyler Moore. First as Laura Petrie, then as Mary Richards, she represented everything I aspired to be, thought I should be, believed I was. Caring friend and coworker, competent, on time, kind and nice. The one you never have to worry about. However, unlike Mary/Laura, I'm a slob. (In that way, my sitcom doppelganger is Oscar Madison.)

Also, unlike Mary/Laura, I don't want a best friend dropping in at all hours. Mary had Rhoda, who lived upstairs. Laura had Millie, right next door. Many times, on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Rhoda would drop in as soon as she heard Mary was home from work. On The Dick Van Dyke Show, Millie was always coming over to gossip over coffee or compare notes on the carpool. 

No thank you. I would hate that. First of all, I'm a slob and my home is not visitor-ready at all hours (OK, it's never ready). Secondly, I value my alone time. Too much perhaps. I've learned since covid lockdown that just because something is comfortable doesn't mean it's good for me. 

Which leads me to Elaine. I think she wants to be my Rhoda or Millie. Or, since she's just a couple years older than me and likely grew up on MTM, too, maybe she wants me to be her Rhoda or Millie. 

We saw each other a couple weeks ago for her birthday. It seems that every day since she's got ideas of other things we can do together. She's nice, she's interesting and imaginative, we have many common interests. So all this is nice, right?

It just feels like too much. If I see one of my friends once each week, that's plenty for me. (This week it's Nancy. I think. She may cancel, and if she does, that's OK.)

But Elaine is a good person, and her heart is valuable. So today I'm going to send her a nice long email to keep the dialog going and to let her know she matters.

I'm not Mary Tyler Moore after all. I'm really a cat. I'm loving and devoted, in my way.

And this is why I'm fat

The weather has been cold and rainy lately. So the clear skies and 50º+ temps were beckoning me. I was going to put on my headphones and listen to the Yankees game (EST) as I walked the mile to The Dollar Store. Then I'd listen to the end of the Cubs (CST) game on the way back. Sunshine and the crack of the bat! I was happy.

I noticed, though, that there was something hinky with my phone. It said that today was Wednesday, February 1. It was also very quiet. No alerts or texts. Scariest of all, every time I tried to open the MLB app, it told me to "try again later."

Oh, no! I need the MLB app. So I uninstalled it and then went to install it again. I could not get into the Google Play Store. "Try again later."

Oh, no! I tried to download it via my laptop. I couldn't, because according to MLB.com it was still on my phone. But I'd just uninstalled it!

So I called Consumer Cellular. They really are as nice and accommodating as they are portrayed on the TV commercials. The customer service rep told me to first try this and then try that. Neither worked. She had to send a code to my phone for security reasons before we could go further. My phone wasn't accepting her texts. So she sent it to my email -- my laptop was working perfectly -- and she tried some things on her end.

"Your phone isn't connected to The Tower," she reported. She explained there was a problem with my wifi. Perhaps all I need to do is reset my wifi password.

Only I don't know my wifi password. So I'd have to call Xfinity. The Consumer Cellular service rep said she'd wait. 

I couldn't get a live person from Xfinity to help me with my password because -- wait for it -- there was a wifi "connectivity issue" in my neighborhood. That would be fixed by 5:30. 

Two hours.

On the plus side: after more than 40 minutes, we now knew the problem wasn't my phone. On the negative side: There goes the sunshine.

I was bereft.

At this point, while I was settling in to watch baseball on my TV, my oldest friend happened to call. My emotions were complicated (see the post below). On the one hand, I didn't feel like dealing with her because I'm pissed at her. And I've just wasted 40 fruitless minutes on the phone with Consumer Cellular, which never enhances my temperament. On the other hand, I've been friends with her since Kindergarten. She's more than earned the benefit of the doubt.

We talked about an hour. She's already having sex with her new beau, which bothers me. Not for any puritanical reasons -- I think sex is normal, natural and fun and besides, they're both senior citizens. There's no risk of pregnancy. 

It bothers me because, of the two of us, she's the puritan. She wrings her hands and clutches her pearls when people fall into bed. I know impulsivity is a symptom of her mood swings. So this is a red flag for me.

On the other hand, she's happy. She feels as pretty as she is. She has renewed hopes that her upcoming surgery will improve her quality of life. Best of all, she isn't counting on her cousin for help after surgery, which is good because her cousin doesn't fail to disappoint. 

By now the issue with my wifi is corrected, but the ballgames are over. I saw little of the Yankees or the Cubs. It's after 5:00, the day is over, and I haven't eaten anything all day.

So instead of walking two miles, I walked a couple blocks and picked up a thin crust cheese pizza from Lou Malnati's. Because I had gut trouble this morning, I skipped the vegetables I was going to have as a side dish in favor of mashed potatoes. Pizza with mashed potatoes on the side is not part of any diet plan, but I felt I deserved this after the frustrating, intense afternoon I'd had.

And this is why I'm fat. The end.

Temper, temper

I admit I'm pissed. Last week my oldest friend sent me a chatty, highly-superficial email about her life. Normally this wouldn't bother me. I know she's busy with her new beau and having a man in her life is very important to her. Plus I'm happy that she's interacting with someone who isn't her cousin or her daughter. She's been in California for a decade now and has made no friends, and that's just not healthy. I applaud this sprint to a wider, happier life. She's clever and funny and has so much to offer.

So, you're asking, why am I pissed? Two reasons:

1) Her email covered everything that we had talked about on the phone. She's apparently so heedless of our conversation that she didn't even remember.

2) She promised to call during the week and didn't. Too busy, I guess. Now her new fella still works, so I imagine her days are free. But I've been shunted to the back burner. 

I'd say I'm hurt by these two points but that's not true. I'm angry. Because I feel my oldest friend has been gaslighting me.

During my transition into retirement, she has insisted that her time in retirement has been the happiest of her life. I didn't believe her -- she had no friends, went nowhere* except here to Chicago for Beatlefest last August and her health is so problematic she spent one of her days here unable to get out of bed. She also tells me that her landlord is harassing her and wants her gone. Does this sound happy to you? Of course not.

But here's the thing: where's her empathy for me? My career was very important to me, and this transition has been difficult. Instead of drawing me out, or fuck, even acknowledging my issues, she went on about how happy she was. 

Now all of a sudden she tells me she's sick of "living like a shut in" and wants romance. Really? You were "living like a shut in?" You blathered that you were the happiest you have ever been and couldn't even fathom my struggles.

That's crappy. I deserve better.

I realize she has issues and allowances must be made. She has bipolar disorder. It's her body chemistry and she can't help it. I understand intellectually that her insistence that her solitary life of drinking coffee, vaping, and writing fan fiction about George Harrison (while living in an apartment where she isn't wanted) is glorious was likely bravado, the self-talk she needed to get through the day.

Because I understand that intellectually, I won't say to her what I've written here. That would be cruel.

But if I want to stay in this relationship -- and obviously I do -- I have to figure out where to put my anger. How to deal with it. 

I've read two books that have helped: Broken by Jenny Lawson and Friends, Lovers and the Big, Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry. Listening to two other people eloquently and candidly chronicle life with bigger emotional problems than mine has given me a peek into the world she's navigating.

I know what Topic A will be

And there's this: We've been friends since kindergarten. I'm not going to let her go. She can be so funny, so comfortable, and she knows where all my bodies are buried.

But I also know that she doesn't give me or my struggles anywhere near the attention I give hers. Perhaps that's because she simply doesn't have enough gas in the tank. How do you set boundaries with someone who is, in Jenny Lawson's term, "broken?"

I'm going to hold my tongue and temper until I can talk to my shrink on Tuesday.

*When I say "nowhere" that's exactly what I mean. She has everything delivered. She doesn't even go to the post office. Part of it is mobility issues (she needs a cane) and part of it is, I suspect, crippling depression.

Photo by Kateryna Hliznitsova on Unsplash

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Fool (If You Think It's Over) (1978)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here. (I love this song.)

1) Do you have any pranks planned for April Fool's Day? Nope.

 

2) When Crazy Sam was a little girl, she once pranked her mother by putting bubble wrap under the bath mat so Mom heard a POP when she stepped on it. When you find bubble wrap, can you resist popping it? Yes. I find it very resistible.

3) This week's song is about a wise man counseling a heartbroken younger person. Chris Rea, who wrote and performs this song, says it was inspired by watching his kid sister endure her first breakup. Were you in love at 17? Do you remember the object of your affections? I don't recall exactly who I was crushing on at 17, but one of my teen-aged imaginary lovers died on March 13 and attention must be paid. This is Joe Pepitone. He was the Cubs first baseman for 2.5 colorful seasons and I adored him. In fact, I had this very baseball card tucked into my bedroom mirror. Thursday was Opening Day at Wrigley Field and there was a moment of silence in his memory. I loved that. A new season was beginning with new ballplayers (only 3 of the starting 9 were Cubs last season) and they took a moment to say farewell to one of the lions of my long-ago girlhood. A perfect moment. To borrow from Moneyball ...

 

via GIPHY

 

4) She's dressed in black as she mourns the end of her romance. Does your wardrobe include a lot of black? I used to, but not anymore. I grew tired of battling the cat fur.

 
5) He offers to treat her to her first glass of good wine. Do you prefer white or red? Wine gives me migraines, so I'll pass.

 

6) Chris' own teenage romance was highly successful. He met Joan Lesley while still in school and they have been married since 1968. Whose was the most recent wedding you have attended? My niece in 2020.

 

7) Chris Rea is a passionate race car fan and once worked as a pit mechanic for a Formula One race. Do you watch auto racing? Nope.

 

8) In 1978, when this song was popular, Laverne and Shirley was America's #1 TV show. It's still available via cable and streaming today. Are/were you a fan? Nope.

9) Random question: What are you grateful for this morning? My cat,
Constance Mackenzie, is healthy and happy. She's had some dental issues made more complicated by her old age and heart murmur. My regular vet referred her to a specialist, who did a deep cleaning and an extraction and a biopsy. Connie received terrific care and now she's bright-eyed, alert and comfortable again.

Ladies who lunch

Today was a good day. It felt so normal. Like it could have happened before covid.

I met Joanna at Miller's Pub. It's a classic, old-school Chicago restaurant. Laminated menu. Lots of burgers, chops and chicken. Framed photos on the wall of the luminaries who have dined here before. (We sat across from the Wicked Witch of the West herself, Margaret Hamilton, whose autographed photo was displayed beside Ghostbuster Harold Ramis. I passed Joey Bishop on my way to the ladies room.)

I took the train and wandered through the Loop. I was surrounded by people! Not as many as an afternoon in February 2000, but more than I've seen in a while. It made me happy.

I strolled on my way to the restaurant and saw this. The Huntington Bank branch on the corner of Madison and Wabash was a place of worship before The Fire. I've passed this corner dozens of times and never noticed this plaque before. For a moment I felt a tremendous kinship with the Chicagoans who were here before me.
 

 

It was nice to catch up with Joanna. She and I email and text regularly but this is the first time I've seen her in 2023. I loved her yellow raincoat. I told her she looked veddy veddy British, which makes sense she'd ordered the coat from a department store in London. She always puts such care into her appearance that I upped my game a bit. Sure, I was wearing jeans and tennies, but I chose a pullover instead of a Cubs t-shirt.

She's been working very hard, is tired, and I sense that she's a little jealous that I'm retired. Two years older than I am, she's long been self-employed and hasn't had the benefit of decades of 401(k) contributions. But that isn't why my heart went out to her today. She's been seeing Sid since 2019 and has been crazy about him since they met. A successful businessman, he retired because of a stroke and she's enjoyed being part of the new chapter of his life. But his health and especially his cognition are failing and she knows she's in the midst of a long goodbye. As she talked about him, she still laughed at things he says to her every day. He amuses her, she loves him, and he's fading away. Heartbreaking.

But she's a survivor. She's looking ahead, too. The cost of living here is too expensive and she's considering a move to Kalamazoo. Or Paris. I tried not to laugh but that's so Joanna. She of the Paddington Bear raincoat. She always has one foot in the Midwest as her soul soars over the ocean.

And so it begins

Today was Opening Day! And it was all good. I was emotionally invested in three games, three time zones, and I have nothing but positive news to report. In chronological order ...

 Anthony Rizzo got a single at his first at-bat of 2023 season. So now I can breathe.

Our awesome new short stop, Dansby Swanson, lived up to the hype. 3 hits and some very flashy glovework.

This game is still going on, but let's face it: the Padres aren't going to get 6 runs in this inning. I'm happy about this outcome because Kris Bryant got three hits. He was hurt most of last year and there were nasty whispers that he isn't worth his big contract. I want only good things for Kris Bryant. He was one of my 2016 Cubs!

Hopefully, this is finally the beginning of the end

Today, Donald J. Trump was indicted. The details are not yet known, but it's likely tied to hush money paid to a porn star to keep their liaison secret. Is it a federal election crime? A white collar bookkeeping crime? The details will be shared soon. 

He now dismisses the porn star as "Horseface." Of course he does. She was good enough to bed, but now she must be insulted and demeaned. That's how he rolls.

It will forever gall me that people wrap themselves in my Christian faith and then defend this man. He's crass, he's cruel. He applauds and encourages vulgarity and racism (why do you suppose he still insists on calling Covid "the China Virus?"). He not only doesn't care who he hurts, he believes inflicting pain makes him appear strong. Which book of the New Testament endorses that?

46% of the country voted for him in 2016. Even after this.

 

Clearly he was right. Even after all the hate and division he's wrought since coming down that escalator in 2015 and declaring for President, even after encouraging an insurrection, 41% of the country says they view him "favorably."

Donald Trump may not lose a single voter because of this lawlessness, but he's still accountable for his actions. I hope this indictment is the first of many, because I fear it will take more exposure to finally break the fever so his supporters will see who they have been slavishly following.

Because I insist on believing that his voters are following him. That most of them are good people at heart and just have to be awakened. (Ah! "Woke!") But I'm terrified I'm wrong and they aren't following him. What if he's reflecting them? What if he's just the megaphone broadcasting their views?

No, I can't believe 40% of my countrymen are like this man.

I've got to have faith.

Thursday Thirteen #303

 

Thirteen popular items at the grocery store. Since I'm not very domestic, I've often wondered if my grocery cart is unique compared my neighbors. So I checked and here are 13 of the most popular items on my local store's website.

I purchase none of them. Either they don't interest me (coffee) or the sizes are too big (I buy my milk by the quart, and there's no way I'm hauling 92 oz. of Tide down to the laundry room).

1. Charmin bath tissue (24 rolls)

2. Chicken thighs (5.5 lb. value pack)

3. Tide (92 oz. size)

4. Honey Nut Cheerios (18.8 oz.)

5. Store brand bottled water (24 pack)

6. Whole milk (1/2 gallon)

7. Pampers Sensitive Baby Wipes (192 count)

8. Pepsi (12 can pack)

9. Store brand medium roast coffee pods (80 count)

10. Cage-free large eggs (18 count)

11. Brawny paper towels (8 rolls)

12. Zatarain's Blackened Chicken Alfredo (frozen)

13. Fat-free shredded mozzarella

What about you? I realize that this list is influenced by what was on sale this week. But still, do any of these items land in your grocery cart?

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Madam President by Nicolle Wallace.  Charlotte Kramer, America's first woman POTUS, is in her second term. She has welcomed a CBS news crew into the White House to share "a day in the life" for 60 Minutes. She couldn't possibly have known that today would be a tragic day in American history and the most important of her Presidency.

 

I'm loving this book so far. Because President Kramer surrounds herself with powerful women and, for the most part, they get along remarkably well. I like imagining a world where badass women shape foreign policy while comparing notes on the latest from Christian Louboutin. 

 

It's not silly, exactly. But it is from a parallel universe. Madam President was published in the spring of 2016, before Donald Trump and all the MAGA divisive chaos and vulgarity. It's refreshing but also naive to consider a White House where the President and Vice President are both women and from different parties.  Female public servants who are fond of one another and serious about serving the country? Seems like a fantasy now.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Broken (in the best possible way) by Jenny Lawson. This is a memoir about the author's battle with autoimmune disease, depression, and anxiety. She discusses it all  with admirable frankness and humor. And yes, I recommend it.

 

But for the compassion and candor, not the humor. While the book was funny at times, the yuks were overdone and, at least to me, often more forced than funny. Film critic Roger Ebert once said that comedies were the hardest to review because everyone's sense of humor is personal and different, so maybe the problem is me and not Jenny. But at times I simply wanted to scream at her, "Stop being Shecky Lawson and just tell your story!"

Because here's the thing: when she's not imitating Mrs. Maisel, she's genuinely touching. There was a passage in particular about her passion for saving buttons, what they mean to her, and what she hopes they will mean to whoever takes them over when she dies. It was a lovely piece of writing. I wish she did that more often.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

Sunday Stealing

YOUTUBE QUESTIONS

1. Working on anything exciting lately? I don't know how exciting this is, but I'm slowly divesting myself of all the stuff in this condo. Next up: sorting through the bath towels toward a donation to the local animal shelter.

2. What was the highlight of the day today? I'm doing this Saturday night. I've spent most of today fixating on next month's TCM Classic Film Festival. Four days of classic movies on the big screen, surrounded by fellow film nerds! Bliss!

 

The official schedule just dropped Friday and we've been planning our strategies. At any given time we have up to five movies to choose from. These movies are on different screens in three different locations. If I choose the one at the TCL Chinese, when it's over will I have time to get the special screening poolside at the Roosevelt Hotel? Do I want to finally see a movie I've loved my whole life on the big screen,  or discover a gem from the 1930s I've only read about? Would I rather compromise on my choices to share the festival experience with members of my movie group or go off on my own? It's as delightful as it is impossible. Here's a photo of us working out the logistics.

 

Photo by Christina@wocintechchat.com

3. What is your favorite thing to do on the weekends? Fart around on the internet and watch movies. Starting next week that answer will change to, "Fart around on the internet and watch the Cubs."

 

4. What are your favorite restaurants? The nearby sports bar that serves the best New England clam chowder. They have great tater tots, too.

 

5. Do you follow any sports? If you have to ask, you don't read this blog often. I kinda like baseball.

 

6. What is your biggest fear? I am terrified every time I fly.

 

7. What is your biggest regret? As someone once said, "Regrets? I've had a few, but then again too few to mention." I wish I could remember who that wise man was.

 

 

via GIPHY

8. When you were growing up, what was your dream job? I wanted to be a singer. That was before I learned I was tone deaf.

9. Do you say ‘sherbet’ or ‘sherbert?' While I spell it right I pronounce it wrong, which means I add that second "r."

 

10. Have you ever had a paranormal experience? Nope.

 

11. What is your favorite food at a cocktail party? Bacon-wrapped dates. They're delicious, but I only ever see them at parties.

 

12. Who is a book character most like you? Do you know the Andy Carpenter mysteries? I think I'm like Laurie, Andy's work partner and wife. She's much better at derring-do than I ever could be, but we both think Andy is terrific. Some of her retorts when they bicker sound like things I'd say, too. 

 

13. Do you read reviews before you go to movies? Yes.

 

14. How do you feel about cilantro? I feel that it tastes like soap.

 

15. Have you ever cried in public? Yes, but I can probably count the times on one hand.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this week's song, BJ Thomas sings that he knows it won't be long until he finds happiness. What are you looking forward to today? What's going to make you smile?

I'm going to watch this week's movie group film, Johnny Apollo. Tyrone Power is a classic movie star I've heard/read more about than actually watched. Last week I saw him in Witness for the Prosecution, now this, and I'm happy to fill this gap in my cinematic knowledge.

2) BJ Thomas met his wife Gloria at a bar. She was there with his drummer, but BJ let his friend know he felt a connection to Gloria and was going to drive her home. BJ and Gloria were married for 50 years, until his death. Have you and a friend ever found yourselves attracted to the same person? If yes, how did you handle it? Back in the long-ago 1980s, my friend Mindy and I were both twitterpated by the same handsome coworker. We compared notes and decided how we would share him (we'd each get him 3 days/week, and on Sunday he could roam free). Fortunately, he chose another girl entirely, so we all lived happily ever after.

 

3) This song is from Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid, which has been called "the most entertaining Western ever made." Do you enjoy Westerns? I now enjoy the TV Westerns (Bonanza, Gunsmoke) I avoided as a kid. I don't why.

4) Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is one of the most popular movies Paul Newman made, but he liked to say his "favorite role is philanthropist." He raised an amazing $500 million for children's charities through his Newman's Own brand. The most popular Newman's Own product is salad dressing. What flavor of salad dressing would we find in your kitchen right now? Thousand island and honey mustard.

 

5) Burt Bacharach won the first of his three Oscars for this song. Yet 20th Century Fox originally wanted to cut the song from the movie, maintaining that that song and the famous "bicycle sequence" between Paul Newman and Katharine Ross were anachronistic and made the movie too long. Burt and the movie's director George Roy Hill fought for it, insisting that it helped define the optimistic character of Butch. Tell us about a time you were glad you stood your ground. The last big work battle of my career. Alex, the executive creative director brought in for a specific project, wanted us to do expensive, high-profile stunts that would get a lot of industry buzz and win awards for the agency. I argued for us to stay within or under budget and do "smaller" things that would get our client measurable results. After all, it was the client's money. They should always come first. Alex won, and within six months the client fired the agency and I lost my job. Others lost their jobs, too. Life isn't fair.

But isn't it a lovely jaw? Sigh.

6) Edith Head also won an Oscar for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. She said that Robert Redford, who played Sundance, presented a wardrobe problem. His jawline is too strong so she had to create special wider-brimmed hats to balance it. If you could magically change one of your physical features, which would you choose? And which feature would you never change? I wish my face wasn't so damn round. Even when I was a size 6, I had chubby cheeks. On the plus side of the ledger, I like my dimples.

7) In 1969, when this song was a hit, The Beatles played their last concert on the roof of Abbey Road Studios. When did you last climb onto the roof? I've only been up on this building's roof once. I accompanied the inspector when he checked it before I made an offer on this condo. He said it was fine but I had no idea what he was looking at or for.

8) Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mysteries sold at a brisk pace at Christmastime 1969. They're still popular today. Were you a fan? Yes! I read all the Nancy Drew books I could get my hands on: from The Secret of the Old Clock to The Mystery of the 99 Steps (newly published when I was 8 and at height of my Nancy-mania). That's 43

books in all. I don't recall the plots, but I still remember Nancy, her friends Bess and George, housekeeper Hannah, boyfriend Ned, and father, attorney Carson Drew. Her dad is the one who gave her the blue roadster for her 16th birthday. I often have to ask Alexa to call my lost cellphone, but I remember the blue roadster!

9) Random question: Do you consider yourself old fashioned? At times.

Thursday Thirteen #302

Thirteen "Dad Jokes." After doing TT's about Titanic, trips to the doctor and time in the dentist's chair, I thought I'd lighten the mood a bit. Some of these jokes will make you smile. Some will ... well, consider yourself warned.

1. Why do you need two pairs of socks for golf? In case you get a hole in one.

2. What does a tick have in common with the Eiffel Tower? They're both Paris sites.

3. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay we'd call them bagels.

4. Where do you learn how to make a banana split? Sundae school.

5. Why won't eggs tell one another jokes? They're afraid they'll crack each other up.

6. Why can't a nose be 12" long? Because then it would be a foot.

7. What did the cop say to his belly button? You're under a vest.

8. Why do nurses prefer red crayons? They have to draw blood.

9. How can you identify a dad joke? Easy! It's apparent.

10. How can you tell a dogwood tree? By its bark.

11. Why can't a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Because houses can't jump.

12. How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

13. What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account? Prime mates.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Broken (in the best possible way) by Jenny Lawson. I've been hearing about Jenny Lawson forever. My oldest friend is a big fan. Goodreads and Amazon algorithms keep recommending her. And so here Jenny and I are.

 

So far this is about "the art of mortification." It's a memoir about the author's battle with autoimmune disease, depression, and anxiety. It's about the odd behavior and questionable decisions that have made up her life, and she shares these with admirable frankness and humor. So far I'm enjoying it, though not as I thought I would. I don't think Jenny is as funny as Jenny does. It's a little precious at times. But her heartbreaking candor when she gets around to seriously discussing her medical and mental issues is brave and touching.

2. What did you recently finish reading? What Happened to the Bennetts? by Lisa Scottoline. A family leaves the house one evening for their daughter's field hockey game. By the end of the night, everything changes. They are car jacked, and nothing -- NOTHING -- will ever be same again. 

 

Their entire lives changes on a dime. Scottoline gives us three-dimensional characters, which lends this story of crime and revenge resonance. There are savvy insights about the power of social media, too.  I enjoyed this, and the intricate plotting. I thought I had it figured out but I was wrong, and I love being fooled.

But geez, it was tooooo long! The action passages, with all the gunplay, went on and on and on. I wanted to skip them but didn't because even though they were boring, I was afraid Scottoline (craftsman that she is) would slip another plot twist in on me. 

 

Did I like this book? At times. Do I recommend it? It was entertaining but ultimately, I don't think I'll remember much about it in six months.

 

SPOILER ALERT: Nobody hurts the dog.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

Pasta and time travel

Guess who's happy. My oldest friend! She's been really low lately -- and her lows can be loooow -- but she decided to change her life. She joined a seniors-only dating service and was paired with a 60-something graphic designer who lives less than 5 miles from her. In the past week they've seen one another at least three times, including a dinner date at his place for fettuccine and an Outlander binge. She says she's too busy to talk, and this makes me happy because I believe her. She goes through periods where she doesn't answer my emails or pick up when I call because she's blue or hiding things from me or being pissy. No, this time she's actually occupied spending time with someone else. Going outside. Interacting with a person who isn't her cousin or daughter (who are practically the only people she's spoken to in years).

I'm delighted! Perhaps I should be more cautiously optimistic, because she has a tendency to idolize men and they can't live up to her expectations. But you know what? That may not happen for months ... or years ... or at all! What leads me to say this?

Guess who was wrong. That would be me! I was so sure that my oldest friend was embarking on one of her manic phases. When she gets like this, she becomes uncharacteristically driven and makes big, irreparable moves that aren't in her own best interest. I lost sleep, thinking of her either being scammed by this guy or traveling with him to Tijuana where they would celebrate their quicky marriage with matching tattoos. However, while I was tossing and turning, she was planning a day of pasta and time travel.   

Have I learned from this? Yes. Will I over-react and waste my time worrying? Most likely. But I hope when that happens I'll remember this episode and talk myself down.

Photo by Sdf Rahbar on Unsplash