August Happiness Challenge -- Day 12

 

Today's happiness -- TCM. Busy day at the office. Worried about John and Henry. Emails to write re: the condo deconversion.

No ballgame!

So thank God TCM was there to comfort me. It's August, so the programming is devoted to Summer Under the Stars, with a different star featured every day. Monday was Ann Sothern. I admit I'm not a massive fan, but there is a movie of hers that I recently discovered and completely adored: A Letter to Three Wives. I fell asleep watching it. That's OK. I know which husband leaves with Addie. And this ca 1949 b/w suburb was a nice place to fall asleep. (Better than my messy, musty apartment. What's that stale smell, anyway? I worry that there's a problem of some sort with my air conditioner ...)

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

As night falls, Henry is in Miami

My dear Henry is still in the hospital. He may be there until Tuesday.
 
I can't talk to him directly -- he's sedated to prevent further seizures -- but Patrick has been in touch with Henry's husband, Reg, and reports that Henry is being a far more cooperative patient than he was last fall. That is good news. Right after his accident, Henry fought everyone, every step of the way. It sounds like he's participating in his own treatment. This is viewed as an improvement.

At the hospital, the staff noted bruises on Henry's chest and arms, indicating that he's fallen more often than he's admitted. So the seizures we know about on Tuesday and then Saturday are probably just the tip of the iceberg of his suffering. This breaks my heart. He's also been hallucinating -- asking his coworkers to turn down the music when he knows there's no music playing.

While this sounds very bad, it could just be part and parcel of recovering from a traumatic brain injury. His brain is teaching itself to work again, perhaps forging new paths through areas as they heal. The seizures and hallucinations could just be the result of a "system overload."

Today is Sunday. Tomorrow is Monday and then there's Tuesday. Hopefully I can at least text him on Tuesday. I don't want to upset or overtax him. On the other hand, I want him to know how much he is loved.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 11

Today's happiness -- Patrick. A good friend to Henry's husband, Reg, since the 1980s, he's become an ally and comfort to me, too.

He called Reg today to find out how Henry is doing. Then he took the time to update me. Patrick and I commiserated about how difficult those two are to deal with. It was such a relief to talk to someone who gets it -- who understands that I can have compassion for everything Reg is going through and yet still not want to be his "punching bag" ... who realizes that, dear as Henry is, talking to him can be exhausting.

 

I found myself reflexively saying, "I'm sorry" quite often during our hour conversation. "You're a good person, Gal, no reason to be sorry," he replied more than once. Hearing that, from someone who knows the situation even better than I do, meant the world to me.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

Sunday Stealing

Questions from taken from the Friday Five.

1. Have you ever had a great conversation with a complete stranger? Yes! I once flew from ORD to RIC beside a woman who worked as a court-appointed elder care custodian. She explained her work to me, and I was grateful that I met her when I did, for unbeknownst to me, my uncle was going to be taken to court within the year and appointed a guardian. Much of what she said came back to me.

 
2. Where did you go on the very first vacation of your life? "Duck Lake." I don't know where it was (Illinois? Wisconsin?). My parents and my grandparents got a cottage there. It had a grassy front yard (the beach was, as my mom would say, "a ways away"). There was only a shower, which I was too young to use, so at night, my mom gave me a bath in a Rubbermaid tub in the kitchen. I was 4 or 5. I caught my first and only fish that summer. That's all I remember about it.

3. Open the door of your refrigerator. What is the first thing you see? My Coca-Cola

can/water bottle. I bought it to encourage me to drink more water. I keep it cool in the frig and then take it with me to the bedroom at night (if I remember).
4. What is your favorite place in your home. My dining room table.

5. If you had wings to fly about the universe, where is the first place you’d land? I'd fly to my friend Henry's side. He's going through a frightening time with his health.
 
6. What is the first thing you do when you get in your car? I don't have a car.
 
7. What is special about the town you live in? Our architecture. We have an impressive collection of prairie style buildings, including many Frank Lloyd Wrights.

8. What is the last thing you heard about your first love? His mom died in 2015. I sent flowers to the funeral home. I haven't seen him for decades, but his mom and my mom remained friends and she would have wanted me to.

9. If you had created the world in seven days yourself, what would you have created on the First Day? I'm not going to second guess The Lord in this one!
 
10. How do you beat the summer heat? I whine and look for air conditioning.

11. Did you enjoy your Senior Year in high school? No.
 
12. Who is your favorite First Lady of all time? As was stated during the C-Span series on The First Ladies, she was sui generis.

13. Post a link to your first blog post. No. I believe if you're that interested, you know how to do that.

14. When was the last time you needed First Aid? I wore a Band Aid a few months ago when I got a paper cut. 

15. Can you explain what a first down is in football? The first time the offense gains 10 yards.
   

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 10

Today's happiness -- "Till There Was You." Today has not been a great day. Henry is suffering, the Cubs are losing ... I'm distracted and restless.

Then I looked at my August happy picture and remembered how happy I was to sing along with Sir Paul in the shower this morning. (No! He wasn't there!) The song was "Till There Was You," It was never a single, it was a cut from Meet the Beatles. It's not broadcast very often. It surprised me and made me happy when I was shampooing and conditioning.

(In this live version, he muffs the lyric a bit.)

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

I know the right thing to do. I just don't feel like doing it.

My dear Henry is back in the hospital. More seizures. There isn't a hospital Key West equipped to handle this, so he was airlifted back to Miami.

I think this means that he is now, indeed, an epileptic. Epilepsy is a not uncommon side effect of traumatic brain injury. I worry about the impact Henry's drinking has on his condition. From what I've been able to glean from the Internet, the only thing worse than alcohol is alcohol withdrawal. All I can do is first throw my hands up, and then fold them in prayer.

If this is hard for me, I can only imagine what tonight is like for Henry's husband, Reg. I know I should call him, but I'm not going to. Reg has been so mercurial himself lately. His Facebook posts have all been about himself, not about Henry, and I just don't feel like dealing with it. I just can't bring myself to put my head into the lion's mouth.

I am monitoring Facebook and have sent a message to Stephen's good friend, Patrick. I hope I'll hear something soon. And I definitely want to hear from Henry when he finally comes back home.

Saturday 9

Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs (1993)

Unfamiliar with this week's song. Hear it here.

1) This is the theme from Frasier, a TV show that ran  from 1993 to 2004. Were you a fan? Not really. I've seen it a few times in reruns and it's fine, but I don't go out of my way to catch it.

2) The show is about a radio advice show host, Dr. Frasier Krane. When you listen to the radio, do you tune in for talk or music? Music. I like hearing the Cubs score and the weather, but I tune in for the music.

3) The theme's composer explained that tossed salad and scrambled eggs are both "mixed up," like the people who called Frasier's radio show. Which did you eat more recently, tossed salad or scrambled eggs? I had tossed salad with my late lunch on Friday. Thousand Island dressing. I'm reminded how much I like Thousand Island.

4) Peri Gilpin played Roz, Frasier's coworker at the radio station. The actress originally cast was Lisa Kudrow, but the show's producers didn't feel she was "right." Being released from Frasier gave her the opportunity to accept a bigger and better part: Phoebe on Friends. Can you think of a time when a setback was really a blessing in disguise? I had a prejudice toward women doctors. I was convinced they were more empathetic to women's issues. Then, when I was about 45, I got Dr. Lisa. She was a stone bitch. I found myself in terrible pain, 24/7, during my period. This was a new and excruciating wrinkle and she gave me opiates and told me to suck it up. She said she knew all about "cramps." She wasn't hearing me that these weren't "cramps."

I immediately switched to a different doctor, chosen using insurance and geography as my guide. I ended up with Dr. Chuck, right around the corner. He could not have been more responsive. He discovered that I had four golf ball-sized uterine fibroids and sent me to a radiologist for an embolization. 

If Dr. Lisa had been any nicer, had spent more time with me, and still told me to just take pain killers, I might have gone along with her lame ass treatment regimen. And I would have suffered. So in retrospect, I'm glad she was officious and dismissive.
 
5) Dr. Krane shared his home with Martin, his retired dad. Martin's favorite chair was well-worn recliner, held together in parts with tape. Frasier tried to replace it by giving his father a brand-new, expensive leather chair as a gift. Martin wanted his old recliner back. Tell us about a present you either gave or received that wasn't a hit. The phone! When my friend Mindy was mom to a toddler, I gave her a big phone with  speed dial, as well as a notepad with a leather cover to go beside it. She was going back to work and I wanted her to be able to program the doctor's number, her work number, her husband's work number, etc., for the daycare worker.

I hadn't counted on how torn she was about returning to work. She hated the phone. She said she would never let anyone take care of her son who couldn't dial a phone. And, when she was insulting the phone, her son was tearing the leather cover off the notepad. I was shattered.

Mindy is one of the sweetest people on earth, and she didn't mean to hurt my feelings. She was just that miserable about leaving him and going back to work and my gift celebrated it. I understand that now. But at the time, I was pretty miserable myself. (PS Now that kid is 29, so she and I are well past this.)

6) Kelsey Grammer played Dr. Krane on three different series (Cheers, Wings and Frasier) over 20 years. What job have you held the longest? This one. I started at this agency on St. Patrick's Day, 2004.

7) Before he found success on Cheers, Grammer played bit parts on the daytime dramas Ryan's World and Another World. Have you ever followed a soap opera? 

My two faves. My mom was a big soap fan herself, so she encouraged me in my passion. My kid sister inherited the soapy gene, too.

8) In addition to work in front of the camera, Grammer has done voice over work on commercials for Dr. Pepper and Cheerios. Are either of those products in your kitchen right now? No. But I do have Coke and Honey Bunches of Oats.
 
9) Random question: You're invited to a party where dinner is served buffet style. There's spaghetti with tomato sauce, barbecue spare ribs and buffalo wings. When the evening is over, how likely are you to have a food stain on your clothes? Highly likely. OK, a certainty. I'm such a klutz and a slob.

Better than the book

You've heard this cliche: "The book is always better than the movie." And, generally, I suppose, it's true.* Except when you compare Mario Puzo's The Godfather with Francis Ford Coppola's film. Or today, when I saw The Art of Racing in the Rain after reading Garth Stein's book.

Both are narrated by Enzo, a highly evolved and loving dog and a very good boy. As a puppy he is adopted by Denny, which be believes is his destiny, a critical step on his path to being reincarnated as a human. Denny is his hero, his friend, his teacher. He lives his life in service of Denny and, when Denny gets married and starts a family, includes wife Eve and daughter Zoe in his heart.

So far, the book and the movie track.

What happens to Denny in the movie is the stuff of life. I don't want to give any spoilers away, but what Denny's family endures is something that has touched someone you know.

All this happens to Denny in the book, too. Only it's exacerbated by a plot twist that felt unnecessary and, worse, misogynistic. I'm happy to report the producers seemingly came to the same conclusion, because Annika** never made it to the screen. The movie is better for it.

It's not a perfect movie. There's a sequence with a stuffed zebra that worked better on the page than it does on the screen and I wish it had been handled differently. But let's not quibble.

If you love animals, if you have a heart and a pulse, this movie will touch you.

*Though since books and movies are different media, it's not really an apt comparison.

** If you read the book, you know who she is.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 9

Today's happiness -- The sky. This summer has been too hot and too humid, so good days are especially glorious.

Like today. High 83º. No precip, low humidity. And the sky! Puffy white clouds against a sky of Cubbie blue!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 8

Today's happiness -- The new boy. Hamid is here on a working visa, so I don't know how long he can stay with us, but I hope he ends up having a long career in Chicago.

He is so very enthusiastic! He wants to know why I make each creative decision. He's filled with suggestions. He is always doing research. I'm accustomed to jaded account executives, and Hamid is anything but.

And he's genuinely nice. Whether he's texting to make sure I got home safe from the client meeting (Tuesday evening) or bringing me potato chips for sustenance (this afternoon), he seems eager for us to feel like teammates.

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

Look who's 30!

My all-time favorite Cub. And when you consider the All-Stars who have worn Cubbie blue over my lifetime (Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Billy Williams, my beloved Greg Maddux, Fergie Jenkins, Lee Smith ...), that's saying something.

It's not just his play. Though his career has been stellar.

It's who Anthony Rizzo is. Here's his biography from the Anthony Rizzo Foundation page. He's not only a cancer survivor who gives tirelessly to the community, he's a good role model for the tens of thousands of kids who see him play every game.

And it's the joie de vivre that just emanates from this kid. Here he is, playing Beer Money. It's a local sports quiz show. Rizz has never been allowed to compete because he and Beer Money are both employees of the Chicago Cubs. Instead of money, he wins "special prizes." Watch him at 1:35 where he wins a single dolphin slipper. Have you ever loved anything as much as he loves that footie?

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 7

Today's happiness -- First place. The Cubs beat the A's today, 10-1. It was a great way to wash away Tuesday's 11-4 loss.

Even better, it gave my guys a little breathing room at the top of the NL Central. Right now we're 3 games up on the Brewers and 3.5 ahead of the Cardinals. YEA!

Now it's on to Cincinnati. Let's get some road wins!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

Two seizures

My dear Henry had two seizures on Tuesday. One he remembers, one he does not. It's rather obvious that these are a lingering aftereffect of the injury he sustained last fall. He still refuses to admit this. He wants to believe it was triggered by the smell of chicken. I've heard that can be the cause, but usually in epileptics. Henry is not an epileptic, but he did sustain a traumatic brain injury.

But there's no discussing this. Henry sounded so fragile when he called me, over and over, Tuesday night and Wednesday afternoon. I couldn't call him back Tuesday night because I was on a train back from my client meeting. I texted him, explaining that's why I missed his calls. I sent him my office number and let him know he could call any time on Wednesday because I love him and wanted to talk. He did call several times on Wednesday, but he dialed my home and not the office number. That's how confused he was.

It's important that he's getting good care. They did a brain scan. He had bloodwork done. He was given new anti-seizure meds, and he's seeing the doctor again on Saturday. Henry may still be insisting that his brain didn't sustain any damage, but his doctor is not fooled. That's a good thing.

I only had $10

I saw Caleb on Monday evening! In his same old spot. But without Napoleon. He was panhandling because he needed an extra, unexpected $70. Napoleon was spending the night at the vet's -- finally being neutered in addition to getting his shots. Naturally, I wanted to help in any way I could. After all, I know how hard it is for Caleb to be away from his fur baby overnight. But I didn't have a lot of money for him. I was taking Amtrak first thing in the morning to meet with my client, and I needed to have cash on hand. Still, we can always spare something, right? So I coughed up a pair of $5s as he updated me on his life.

His wife is back in the hospital. Last week Randi had a stroke! The doctors believe that the 90º+ exacerbated "her condition" and helped bring it on. I'm not 100% sure what "her condition" is, because I don't like to make him share more than he's comfortable doing. She should be home this week. He said she's upset about something "with her face," but he didn't seem to think her aftereffects of the stroke were that bad. He just misses her.

Caleb is doing well at work. He makes enough that they live indoors all the time now. Napoleon goes out every day, at least for a little while, in his harness and walks on a leash. He enjoys being an indoor cat, especially on hot and sunny days, But Caleb reports Napoleon gets "mad" if he doesn't get his walk.

I wish I'd known last week I was going to happen to see him. I could have gotten books for him at the library after-sale! I know how both Caleb and Randi love reading.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. After a run of biographies and mysteries, it was time to sweeten my reading diet with some chick-lit. I've read, and laughed at, all the Shopaholic books, so I know Sophie Kinsella is a solid practitioner of the craft.

This one is a standalone, and the premise is promising. A workaholic lawyer suddenly loses her job and, through a series of misunderstandings, finds herself hired as a housekeeper in a big, beautiful house on the English countryside. She doesn't know how to (as explained on the book cover) work the over, sew on a button, or even get the effing iron board to open. "Will her old life ever catch up with her? And if it does, will she want it back?"

I'm only about 50 pages in, but so far, so good.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Death on Deadline (Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe) by Robert Goldsborough. An unscrupulous media titan (obviously based on Fox News' Rupert Murdoch) sets his sights on a venerable, family-owned New York paper. The widowed matriarch has to deal with the fact that her own relatives are willing to sell out the newspaper her late husband founded. She commits suicide ... or did she? Wolfe refuses to believe she'd take her own life and he takes on the case. Even though the police and the family insist there is no case.

I figured out the killer before Wolfe did! Ha!  Don't go thinking I'm brilliant. The author painted the villain with a rather heavy, dark brush. The mystery itself was the weakest part of this story, anyway. I enjoyed it -- immensely -- because Goldsborough (who picked up the series after Rex Stout died) got so many of the little details right. As I came upon these familiar moments (Archie cracking wise, even as he drinks milk; Wolfe's ridiculously rigid schedule; Fritz' meals, etc.), I realized the little details have a major impact on my involvement. Every few pages I felt like saying, "Oh, hello, old friends! I've missed you!"

3.  What will you read next? Michelle Obama's autobiography. Unless I change my mind.

I knew what it was before I opened it.

As soon as I took the letter from my mailbox, I knew the contents. My doctor has announced her retirement.

I am upset about this because I found her so easy to talk to and I really trusted her. And because I hate change.

Part of me is happy for her, though. She worked hard and unfailingly displayed compassion, which has to be draining. Yes, the unselfish part of me hopes she enjoys a peaceful next chapter.

Unfortunately, the unselfish part of me is the smallest part.

I don't know what to think ...

Spent Sunday with John, finally celebrating his July 3rd birthday. It was bittersweet, and it left me feeling confused.

He is so very thin and needs a cane to walk. I wasn't expecting that. I know he's been ill, he told me that he was having a hard time adjusting to the new heart medications, but still I was shocked by the toll 2019 has taken on my old friend.

He said some genuinely odd things. We stopped at the Chicago History Museum -- his request, as I was just there a month ago. They have a permanent Lincoln exhibit that includes the bed where the great man died back in 1865. I said that when I first saw it, as a little girl, it made me sad that Abe literally died at an angle, because the bed wasn't long enough for him. I felt so sorry for him.

To which John said, "So, Gal, who do you think had a more horrible death? Lincoln or Sharon Tate?"

Excuse me? How the fuck did we get to Sharon Tate from Lincoln's deathbed?

He didn't really look at anything because he can't see without the glasses he refuses to wear. Likewise when we got to the pizzeria for dinner, he asked the waiter if they had any "veggie options."

"Half the menu is labeled 'veggie,' sir."

After the waiter left, John went off on one of his diatribes about millennials. But it was a ridiculous question.

John hates millennials. And crowds. And ride shares. And men who bring their phones into the restroom. And ... and ... and ...

My friend is a grumpy old man at 64. I'm having a hard time adjusting to this.

On the bright side -- and there's always a bright side -- he seemed to have fun. I made him laugh, and that made me happy. I am confident he felt he had a good birthday afternoon, and I guess that's what I should I concentrate on.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 6

Today's happiness -- "The Gal Show." Spent the day down at the client's HQ and I presented new creative to six people in the room and another two who teleconferenced. The room was mine for 45 minutes.

I was hitsville! Andy and Brian, two of the more senior in the room, went out of their way to tell me how well I'd done. Andy was kind enough to say, "I always enjoy The Gal Show," referencing the last time I presented -- back in March. Andy is a Mr. Big down there, so knowing he remembers me was a thrill.

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 5

Today's happiness -- Reynaldo. Yes, my beige demon is high maintenance. He gets bored overnight and wakes me up by knocking things over -- which scares the shit out of me. He "digs" around in my paperwork so that the dining room table is a mess and I can't find anything. He's become the world's fussiest eater. All that is true.

But he loves to watch baseball with me. When I'm still on the sofa, concentrating on the Cubs, he curls up right beside me, as close as he can get. He loves it when I describe Anthony Rizzo's at bats, purring and kneading.

He's 15 years old now. That's the equivalent of 76 human years. So I accept that our time together is naturally limited, and I savor my many sweet moments with my furry little roommate with the oversized personality.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 4

Today's happiness -- Free books. To thank us for helping with the sale, we volunteers were allowed to take as many "left over" books as we wanted for free. I looked forward to this for days!

Here's my haul:

Little Gloria, Happy at Last (1980): A well-worn copy that once belonged to Betty Reed (whoever that is). I've always meant to read this and never got around to it.

Luckiest Man: The Life and Death of Lou Gehrig (2005). Last year, my favorite of my book sale books was an exhaustive biography of Joe DiMaggio. I hope I like this one, too.

Cary Grant: A Biography (2004). I was holding a big, thick tome on Bette Davis and then I spotted this one. No offense to Bette, but Cary Grant just captivates me.

Diana: In Pursuit of Love (2004). You know, William and Harry's mum. It's probably crap, but I don't care.

The Undomestic Goddess (2005). I read all the Shopaholic books by the author and really enjoyed them, so this feels like a good bet.

Sand in My Bra (2003). Funny short stories about travel by women writers.

The Twist and Shout Murder (2006): "That Girl meets Miss Marple."

Purrfect Heat (2017): Max, a big orange tabby, solves mysteries.

I also liberated four books to give to share with Kathy, my aunt, my kid sister, and my friend Joanna.

Books. They make me happy. A dozen free books is cause for celebration.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.