THURSDAY THIRTEEN #193

13 POPULAR HALLOWEEN CANDIES

According to Peapod.com, the online grocery site, here's what little ghosts and goblins are most likely to get while trick or treating this year.

1. Kit Kat Miniatures

2. York Peppermint Patties

3. Fun Size Snickers

4. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Miniatures

5. Dove Promises Silky Smooth Dark Chocolates 

6. Fun Size Butterfingers

7. Fun Size Milky Ways 

8. Fun Size Twix Cookie Bars

9. Heath Bar Miniatures

10. Fun Size $100,000 Bars

11. Almond Joy Snack Size  

12. Werther's Original Butter Candies

13. Fun Size Nestle Crunch Bars 

#5 sounds very tempting. Good thing I'm too old for trick or treating!

For more information about 

the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

The veil is lifting

The last three months have felt very unreal to me. First the ghastly heat. My best friend has been distracted and troubled by losing his job. Then my mother's illness, and finally her death. Then the morass of her finances and all that's landed on me. I've been sleepwalking through it all, trying to navigate through a fog of sadness, fear and uncertainty. Sleeping erratically, eating too much, gaining weight.

I am feeling stronger. I am more in the moment. I am more like myself. I'm no longer "getting by." I'm in my own life again.

I hear my mother in my head. I believe she is happy and whole and with God. I had been dreading her death so much that I hadn't counted on the relief I now feel, knowing that her pain is over and she truly is resting at peace. I loved my mother and the role reversal we experienced -- while very much the natural order of things -- was exhausting for me. I didn't realize it until it was over. I no longer have to worry about her.

I love her and I miss her. I will always love her and I will always miss her. But I no longer have to worry about her. She is where she belongs, with God. And I am grateful.

Agriculturally obsessed

Last night, while watching the second Presidential debate, I discovered Farmville. I'm so busy with my chickens and my goat that I haven't had moment to update the blog. Sorry.

PS Message to BHO: Thanks for showing up for the debate last night.

"The girl wasn't half bad"

That was Babs' self assessment when she went through the vault of unreleased material and settled on the 11 that made it to Release Me, her 60-something-ith CD.

As always with Streisand, I love (LOVE LOVE) some tracks and give a shrug and an "eh" when I hear others. And as always with Streisand, I prefer the less technically perfect tracks and gravitate to the more emotionally real ones. (I think the lady herself values perfection more than authenticity, so she and I often disagree on which are her best performances.)

My favorites on this one are "How Are Things in Glocca Mora?" from Brigadoon (which didn't make it to her Broadway album) and an outtake of "With One More Look at You" from A Star Is Born. I hope she performs these chestnuts (recorded in the 1980s and 1970s, respectively) when I see her in concert NEXT FRIDAY!

And yes, Dear Lady, you aren't half bad. :)

Someone told me it's all happening at The Zoo

Spent a very rainy Sunday with my nephew at the Brookfield Zoo. Despite the intermittent storms, we had a good time, managing to see the lions and a leopard, dolphins, peacocks, primates, otters and a few assorted reptiles. We also stopped at two refreshment stands (at 13, he eats a staggering amount).

It was also good for him to spend some time with me on a Sunday. He used to visit my mother every Sunday and I would join them for Scrabble a couple times a month. I'm going to try to see him at least one Sunday a month -- partly to help him with the mourning process and partly because he's a nice kid and I enjoy his company.

The Missiles of October

It's been exactly 50 years since John F. Kennedy saved the world.

Yes, it was that important. The Cuban Missile Crisis was that dangerous. The President was that heroic and wise.

A decorated Naval hero, Kennedy knew war and never stopped trying to avoid it. And he remained steadfast in his belief that Nikita Krushchev, a diehard Communist, was still at heart a man like him who loved his children and all children and didn't want to see the world blown up by nuclear war. That's why Kennedy so imaginatively gave his adversary a way to both extricate himself from the situation and still save face among his countrymen and political adversaries within the Soviet Union.

President Kennedy celebrated our similarities and our ties to this fragile planet. That's why this is one of my favorite of his quotes:

“All of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea – whether it is to sail or to watch it – we are going back from whence we came.” 

 

To paraphrase a comment made by his son and namesake, John F. Kennedy may not have been a good man but he certainly was a great one. God was smiling on us when He put Kennedy in the Oval Office 50 years ago.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Who Are You Meme
 
1. What is your biggest pet peeve?  Space hogs. The guy who takes up a seat on the train for his backpacks. The woman who thinks it's more important for her water bottle and iPod to be on the locker room bench than my ass. You get the idea.
 
2. Where and when were you born? Elgin, IL. I was born at the stroke of midnight, which, the hospital told my mother, is not legally acceptable for a birth certificate. She had to choose between 11:59 on the 21st and 12:01 on the 22nd. She chose the 22nd.

3. Where did your parents meet? A rather rowdy party at my grandparents' house, when my grandparents were out of town.

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like in four words? Older Sister: Drama Queen. Younger Sister: Rather Spoiled.
 
5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Still in Chicagoland. And I live alone.

6. What is your occupation?  Advertising writer.

7. Write a full description of yourself.  5'2. Green eyes. Short brown hair. Entirely too round.

8. To which social class do you belong?  Middle class.

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? I'm allergic to bee sting and I take meds for high cholesterol.

10. Are you right- or left-handed? Hopelessly right handed

11. What does your voice sound like? Kinda  high pitched

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?  "The thing of it is ..."

13. What do you have in your pockets? A tissue and a tube of chapstick

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? I don't think I'm strange or annoying. Which is not to say others don't. (You should talk to my sisters!)

At least she's not obstructing me

The Evil Older Sister made her way to my mailbox today.

10 days ago I sent her a letter explaining why the first of her get-rich-off-Mom schemes (that we sell our mother's house and make a ton of money) won't work and asking her to sign a letter to the company that holds the reverse mortgage to our mother's house. She returned it in the self-addressed, stamped envelope I enclosed, but she didn't include a check or even a note.

She's not going to pay another cent on our mother's funeral. She's going to stick me with all of it. I keep hoping I'm wrong about her, but she keeps showing me I'm not.

Oh well, at least she's not getting in the way of me and the lawyer I have chosen. Even though she doesn't approve of him.

My kid sister, on the other hand, is incommunicado. This week she was supposed to hire someone to run an estate sale at my mother's house. I have not heard a word from her. I realize this is difficult for her -- it's difficult for me, too.

I wish I had a ME I could dump responsibility onto!

Why, why, why?

Reynaldo is currently singing and destroying my dining room. He wants me to feed him. He has been aggressively making it clear that he wants his dinner (his 5:00 meal) since about 2:30. That means this has been going on for nearly 90 minutes. Bags are dumped over. Photos knocked off the table. My pencil cup is on the floor and its contents all over the place.

He has food in his dish. He just wants to taste his evening dollop of canned food.

If I give in to him, I am reinforcing this behavior. If I don't give in to him, he makes a mess of my home.

He is 8 years old. This is not "kitten behavior."

The other two cats either ignore him or at look at him as though he's disturbing them.

WWJGD? (What would Jackson Galaxy do?)

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Ain't No Other Man

1) Do you believe there's only one person (and there ain't no other) for you? Or do you think we can truly love several partners over the course of our lives? I believe we can fall in love many times. Which doesn't change the fact that one somehow is dearer than the others. Or as John Lennon sang, "Of all these friends and lovers, there is no one who compares with you." (The Beatle reference is an homage to Bud.)

2) Do you have this, or any other, Christina song on your iPod/mp3 player? Nope. Not a fan. 

3) Christina Aguilera won a Grammy for her performance of this song. What do you deserve an award for? And who would you thank in your acceptance speech? I'd like to win an award for my phenomenal weight loss, and I'd like to thank my personal trainer. Only I haven't lost any weight and I don't have a personal trainer.

4) Christina Aguilera has her own brand of perfume. Do you have a fragrance or scent you regularly wear? I wear another celebrity fragrance Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker. She discontinued it, so once I'm finally out, I'll be in search of another signature scent.

5) Do you have any allergies? I'm allergic to bee sting. I have to carry an Epipen with me nine months of the year.

6) There's an older lady who proclaims during a TV commercial, "I will give up beer, bread, wine or soda but I won't give up Life Alert!" No, we're not going to debate her diet. Instead the question is: What are some of the staples that are always on your grocery list? It seems I'm forever buying paper towels. Viva or Bounty. I have three cats and need durable paper towels to deal with hairballs and litter boxes.

7) What's your favorite sitcom of all time? I Love Lucy

8) When it comes to your socks, do you prefer solids, stripes or prints? Solids. Socks with cutesy prints don't look as good with my shoes.

9) At what age do you consider a person "middle aged?"  And when do they transition to "old?" I guess 40 to 55 is middle aged. Then 56 and beyond is old. I base this on the boxes I've seen in online surveys.

 

Unsettled and unsettling

Anthropologists and behaviorists would have a field day wandering from desk to desk at my workplace. No one is especially happy. There's an undercurrent of political intrigue that adds to the grumbling and grousing. Yet suddenly my boss, usually the most sarcastic and jaded of men, is the sunny one. What gives?

Suddenly I feel very old.

"No abnormalities"

So said the letter I received from the hospital after Saturday's mammogram was reviewed. No matter what else is going on in my life, I should appreciate what a big deal that is.

I must remember to stop and smell the roses!

"Remove your coats and belts. Empty your pockets."

That's what I heard about 200 times this morning while waiting to go through security at The Daley Center (home of the Picasso). I was there to file my mom's will. Consequently I have her death certificate in my purse. How weird is that?

Today I also wrote the check to pay off her funeral.

We're inching slowly through the process, and one of these days I'll be able to think of my mother not as a stack of papers or pile of debts, but as my mommy. She was a woman and she had a life, and I hate reducing her to a mere ledger of debits and credits.

Thursday Thirteen #192

13 SAD PET MOMENTS IN THE MOVIES

I liberated this from MovieFone. While I haven't seen all the movies listed here, the ones I'm familiar with did indeed wrest tears from these old eyes. (In fact, I cried while I wrote this. Damn you, Skip!)

My mother, who died just a few weeks ago, watched some of these movies with me when I was a little girl. She believed it was important to learn about the sad inevitability that our pets never live as long as we need them to. Perhaps she was right and these films did help prepare me. But oh, watching some of these felt like open heart surgery!

1. Marley and Me (2008) "You know how we're always saying what a pain you are, you're the world's worst dog, don't believe it, don't believe it for one minute because you know we couldn't find a better dog, I love you, more than anything, you're a great dog, I love you."

2. Dances with Wolves (2000). Oh! Two Socks the Wolf, Dunbar's first friend. Playing with Two Socks is how Dunbar got his Indian name. Two Socks is murdered.

3. My Dog Skip (2000). He was that boy's first and best friend. When Skip died, he was buried in his boy's baseball jacket behind the elm tree. "But," that boy, now a man, tells us, "he really lay buried in my heart."

4. Where the Red Fern Grows (1974).  I never saw this one, and that's OK because I understand two dogs die after tangling with a mountain lion.

5. Old Yeller (1957).  I'll never get over this one! I didn't think it was at all funny but in fact true when Phoebe (Friends) angrily refers to this as "a puppy snuff film."

6. Bambi (1942). That sadist Walt Disney is at it again! "Man is in the forest." Then Mother tells Bambi to run and keep running and then there's a gunshot and ...

7. Born Free (1966).  Has any movie ever had a more beautiful heroine than Elsa the Lioness?

8. Hachi (2009). Akitas are naturally loyal, but none more than Hachi. He waited at the train station for his owner every day to walk back home with his master. Even after his human died, Hachi went to the train and waited patiently ... every evening for nine years. Age, illness, bad weather -- nothing kept Hachi from his hopeful vigil. Based on a true story, the real Hachi became a hero in his native Japan, his loyal heart is celebrated with a statue at the train statue where he waited for his master every evening.

9. The Neverending Story (1984). I never saw this one, but I'm told a horse named Artax sinks tragically into a swamp.

10. Fatal Attraction (1987).  That bunny was a completely innocent victim!

11. I Am Legend (2007). A virus wipes out 90% of New York except Will Smith and a very loyal dog named Samantha. She falls victim to an attack by infected dogs and he had no choice.

12. The Lion King (1994). Knowing that what happened to Mufasa is all part of the Circle of Life doesn't make it any easier to watch.

13. King Kong (any and all versions). Talk about misunderstood! Kong was just in love, that's all.

For more information about 

the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

Trifecta

This week's challenge: Using between 33 and 333 words, compose something that includes the third definition of the following word:

DEATH

3 capitalized : the destroyer of life represented usually as a skeleton with a scythe

Halloween had always been Sherri’s favorite day of the year – more even than her birthday. It wasn’t because of the candy, either. Halloween gave her a chance to indulge her dark fantasies. Instead of a Disney princess, Sherri trick or treated as The Bride of Frankenstein or shewolf (think “wolfgirl” instead of “wolfman.”) One year she and her best friend both dressed as cheerleaders, only Sherri was bruised, battered and bloodied – the tragic pom pom girl from Bloody White Line, the cautionary driver’s ed film.

Now, as a woman, she didn’t have a little black dress, she had a closet full. As the local country club’s photographer, she took sunny pictures of golf tournaments and tennis matches, but on her own time she photographed grave markers, tombstones and memorials that captured her fancy.

Sherri still lived for Halloween. This year she donned pantalets, a hoop skirt and period-perfect blouse, with a perfectly round bullet hole. She was Jennie Wade, the only civilian killed during Battle of Gettysburg in 1863. As she pinned her hair up, her head began to throb. Her muscles ached. The light above her makeup mirror suddenly hurt her eyes. Dammit! She couldn’t be coming down with the flu! Not on the most magic night of the year!

She promised herself she’d lie down for just a moment. The nap would rejuvenate her, she was sure.

 

She didn't awaken till the next morning, having missed her holiday altogether. She felt strong but filled with disappointment … and a curiously clear recollection of a vivid dream. A handsome, clean-shaven Union officer sat at her bedside, wiping her brow, lifting her head gently and carefully spooning Golden Elixir (a thick syrup containing alfalfa, willowbark, sage and brandy) between her lips.

Only it wasn't a dream. For as much as Sherri loved Death, he loved her, too. He tended to her and ensured she didn’t join him one moment before her appointed time.

I Want Wednesday

I want to relax. The worst thing I could imagine happening -- losing my mom -- happened. I know I have lots with the house and her estate to deal with, but that will either break in my favor eventually or it won't. And no matter what I do with the house and the "estate" (which is really just a collection of bills, anyway), I'm going to piss off one of my sisters.

I'm going to see Streisand later this month. I'm celebrating with my oldest friend in California right before my birthday next month. I'm spending New Year's in Key West again.

I need to concentrate on the good, let go of the bad, and forget about what I can't fix.

Who's the candidate around here?

I am going to vote for Barack Obama. I have regularly contributed money to Barack Obama. I see phone banking for Barack Obama in my future.

So why do I feel like I'm working harder for, and am more enthusiastic about a second term for, Barack Obama than Barack Obama is?

Yeah, he sucked in last week's debate. And, frankly, I didn't expect him to do that well. He didn't shine in the 2008 debates with Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden and John Edwards. (In fact, the one who did best was Biden, so don't sell him short tomorrow night.) But I didn't expect him to be as disengaged as he was. He didn't "not do well." He sucked. That's not the media's fault. It's not his opponent's fault. It's not the moderator's fault. It's Barack Obama's fault. Alone.

And when people remember the DNC convention, who's speeches do they mention? Michelle Obama's. Bill Clinton's. Not Barack Obama's. That surprises me, because our President has proven himself a gifted orator. Yet when millions of people are watching him in prime time, he can't pull out a memorable performance?

Read about the speech Bill Clinton gave in Nevada yesterday. It was awesome. It rocked. It was aggressive but not mean spirited. It had substance as well as heart. The Big Dog conveyed to the audience that this was important … vital … he actually leaped in the air at one point.

Bill Clinton and I want Barack Obama to be re-elected. It's time for Barack Obama to show us he's with us.

Photo courtesy of The LA Times

"They Say It's Your Birthday!"

Here's to you, Dr. Winston O'Boogie. I have been thinking about you today, on what would have been your 72nd birthday.

You are missed.

The silence is disturbing

My best friend lost his job on August 1. When it first happened, he called and emailed me a couple times a day. But for the last month, he's been very quiet.

If I want to talk about my mom, he's completely there for me. But when it comes to him, his family and his job situation, all I hear is crickets.

I fear he's getting depressed. He mentioned once (once!) that he feels "isolated," that people mean well and offer to help but then never call back. Since I want him to know he's not alone, I still email him every day.

More than once on this blog I've referred to him as Eeyore because of his tendency toward melancholy. So I'm worried.

I'm a little in love

I just discovered Pierce Brosnan as Remington Steele. The reruns are on every night on ME-TV. He's not a very good actor, but he sure was gorgeous. I can't for the life of me recall why I didn't watch it the first time around.

This show is a pleasant, swoony little distraction. I was on the road at 6:15 AM, en route to a presentation in my client's offices at 9:00. It went well, but as always there's a bit of tension involved.

The ride back with my coworker Katie was entertaining and interesting. She's young -- not yet 30 -- and hasn't been with us very long, so her insights on our workplace were fresh.

Wrote letters that I owed a friend of my mother's and my cousin. It was hard and tiring. So an hour spent gazing upon Remington Steele was most welcome.

Afternoons in the Park

My cat Reynaldo is pretty fearless and has way too much energy. So this Samsonite pet carrier is a godsend. I can plop him into it, fling the strap over my shoulder and carry him over to the park. It looks like I have an ordinary totebag. This is important because dogs often romp over there. From our spot on the bench, Rey can watch the birds and squirrels and leaves and, yes, dogs, but the dogs don't notice him at all.

We sit there and I read a chapter or two of my book until he begins to get restless (he can turn around in the carrier but can't stand up). Then we walk on home. We have done this two Sundays in a row now and I can tell he enjoys it. He has a swagger in his tail all day and puts out that fearless and completely indestructible vibe.

A Major Award!

Remember the dad in A Christmas Story and how excited he was to win his major award? I'm happy to report that my blog won an award that's far more tasteful than Dad's leg lamp.

Thanks to Ms. Restless Vagabond for the honor. She writes well and with great candor and I admire that about her.


As with all awards, the Sunshine Award comes with a few rules:
♥ Include the award’s logo in a post or on your blog
♥ Answer 10 questions about yourself
♥ Nominate 10-12 other fabulous bloggers
♥ Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know they have been nominated
♥ Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

Ten Questions
Favorite color: Blue
Favorite animal: Cats. Specifically mine.
Favorite number: 7.
Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Coke
Prefer Facebook or Twitter? I have accounts but I'm not crazy about either of them.
My passion: The Beatles, Cubs baseball, old movies
Prefer getting or giving presents: giving.
Favorite pattern: nova plaid, but I really prefer solids
Favorite day of the week: Friday
Favorite flower: Carnations, because they are so common, inexpensive, durable and pretty. I love their everyday beauty.

I'm not doing the nominating thing. I don't fear The Blog Police. As Cody Jarrett would say, "Come and get me, coppers!" (I told you I like old movies.)

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: Stealing's Last Meme with Bud

41. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? My dad used to call me "Mouse" because I am rather short and my voice is rather ... high pitched and annoying.

42. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: No car

43. BEST DATE YOU'VE EVER BEEN ON? (IF MARRIED, before your present spouse) Curled up, watching a ridiculously bad movie and heckling it as though we were on MST, eating pizza, drinking beer. I felt so completely comfortable and happy.

44. WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I stopped myself. I was afraid if I started crying I wouldn't stop.

45. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB? WHAT WAS THE JOB? 9 to 4. That's 9:00 AM to 4:00 AM the next morning. I'm in advertising. It happens when we're pitching new business.

46. FAVORITE MOVIE? The Way We Were. By the way, I see the diva herself later this month at the United Center.

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SANG IN PUBLIC? WHAT DID YOU SING? "Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run."

48. WHAT WAS YOUR LAST FIGHT ABOUT? How cheap and awful my older sister is. Let's not discuss it.

49. WHAT STUFF DO YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT? Keys, purse, iPod.

50. FAVORITE ITEM OF TECHNOLOGY? I guess it would be this here laptop. Or maybe my microwave.

51. FAVORITE WEB SITE? I spend an awful lot of time on Amazon.

52. DO YOU SMOKE? No.

53. IN YOUR EXPERIENCE, HAVE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORKED? Well, we didn't make it as a couple, but I'm not at all sure it's because we were based in separate cities. We wanted different things from the relationship.

54. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? Not really.

55. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON WHO CALLED YOU? Someone from Obama 2012.

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED? A question from my niece

57. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: One of the I Love Lucy nightshirts in my rotation.
 
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?: This one. I love autumn.

59. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER? No 90º+ days!

60. DO YOU THINK WTIT IS COOL OR OVERRATED? Bud is the wind beneath my wings.

61. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND? I'd like to see Looper.

62. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE? As Wilber eulogized Charlotte in Charlotte's Web -- "a true friend and a good writer."

63. WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST REGRET? Wasting too much time on the wrong man.

64. ARE YOU SMILING? WHY? Yes. Because my cat Joey almost always makes me smile. He's such a loving big old tub of guts.

65. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE? I have a hankering to return to Boston. (I know, I know. If I can go anywhere in the world, I should choose somewhere more exotic.)

66. DO YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT? No

67. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE IN PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? My best friend.


68. LAST THING YOU WATCHED ON YOUTUBE? An episode of The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, a show I loved as a little girl

69. WHY DIDN”T YOU DECIDED TO TAKE OVER STEALING? Because I'm helping Crazy Sam with Saturday 9.

Sometimes people surprise you

I found a card on my desk Thursday night. Signed by all my coworkers. And it included an insert that showed a donation was made to my mom's favorite animal shelter in her name. I thought they had ignored what happened, because I'm the one who always does the collecting and card routing in situations like this. I just figured that if I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done.

My friend John is already looking out for me. My birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year. I have been dreading it ever since I saw my first 2012 calendar. I even mentioned to my mom a couple months ago that I'd like to skip the gathering of the clan and fly out to California to spend it with my oldest friend and her family, but my mom said emphatically she wanted me here. So I didn't make the flight reservations. Now it's a little late to do it economically, so I'm stuck. I'm not sure my kid sister is even going to have a Thanksgiving dinner -- without my mother here, she might just go along to her in laws'. Well, John just invited me this week to spend the holiday with him and his friend, Gregory. They have a tradition of their own, dressing up and going to a restaurant in the Streeterville neighborhood serves an old-fashioned Thanksgiving feast. I may join them. And even if I don't, it's good to know that he loves and is thinking of me and that I won't have to be alone on my first birthday and Thanksgiving without my mom, no matter what.

Kathy has been useful. My old and very difficult friend showed up for my mom's visitation and stayed for the service. That surprised me. Not only that, she came over and acted as realtor, giving us an estimate for what she thinks my mom's house would go for. (My older sister insist we compare three realtors.) And she's taken me out to brunch twice. I don't get it. If she was this nice to me a year ago, I might not have been so serious about severing ties with her. I'm grateful for her help, but I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Not especially busy, but nice

I'm talking about my Saturday. The first reasonably post-normal Saturday since my mom got sick and died. I'm starting to process what has happened, have begun missing her in a normal, dull achy way (instead of the WTF/angry/hurt/"where's my Xanax?" kinda way).

I threw on a black coat my mom gave me sometime last year. She bought it for herself but never wore it, didn't feel it fit. Still had the tags on it. Initially I didn't want it, either. It's all black and I can just see cat hairs flying through the air and attaching themselves to it. But I took it. I'm glad I did. I was happy to be wearing it as I began my errands this fine, sunny autumn day.

First stop: the food pantry. I dropped off a bag of soups and canned salmon liberated from the shelves at my mom's house. This made me happy, too. Then my mammogram. Then the bank to cash in 13 US Savings Bonds I had bought for my mom. She never cashed them. Since they were in both of our names, I was able to. It was bittersweet. I left the bank with $1,182 in cash -- $1,000 that will go to her funeral costs and boy! Am I glad to make help make that dent in that $5,000+ bill! But my mom worried about money so much in her life. I wish she had used that $1,182 herself.

Then brunch at my favorite coffee shop. Lox Benedict and a very interesting book -- Jack 1939. Historical fiction that places JFK as a spy in Europe when he was just out of his teens.

Then Trader Joe's and a ton of laundry and a new nom de blog. Yes, as of next week, I will take over as Sam Winters at The Saturday 9.

I miss my mom, of course. So many things I want to tell her. But it's normal for a woman to miss her mother. And it's also normal for a woman to go out and enjoy going about her life on a sunny Saturday.

I got mine this morning

I had my annual mammogram first thing this morning. While it's never fun to have your boobs squished between two plates, it is smart and being smart feels good.

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you haven't had your boobs squished between plates yet this year, make an appointment and get it done!

Saturday 9 LIVES

Saturday 9 -- Bud's Last

But he advises us the show will go on! Yea!

1. If you could experience any life form that was not a human of your sex, what would you pick and why? I wonder what life is like for my cats. I hope they're happy.

2. Do you believe in the American Dream or has it passed through time? I'm a very old school patriot Gal. Yes, I believe in the The American Dream

3. It's been asked before, probably weekly, but what's irritating you today? My skin is very dry and itchy on my left hip. I think when I scratch it I look like a grumpy old man (I'm thinking Fred Mertz).

4. What do you think you'll end up looking like? (A picture would help.)

5. Has anyone told you that you could not do something? It was my parents' favorite activity during my teen years.

6. Is there anybody dead that you'd like to talk to? At first, I'd say my mom. But she died just three weeks ago and I think it would be too hard. So I'll go with my old standby -- JBKO. She's my all-time idol. I'd ask her how she managed to do everything so gracefully while always in the public eye. She couldn't even have coffee with friends at a cafe without looking up and seeing a camera. And yet she always looked cool, serene, and impeccably gracious. How did you do it, girlfriend?

7. Have you ever done volunteer work? Oh yes. I've cleaned kitty ears and litter boxes at Chicago's Anti Cruelty Society, written the newsletter for the Animal Care League, collected paperback novels for our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, and did basic grunt campaign worker tasks for Bill Clinton and John Kerry.

8. Have you ever walked away from a job and regretted it? Nope

9. How did you find Saturday 9? I believe it was through Kwizgiver.