Break my heart!

There was a cat just sitting on the front porch, as though she was waiting for me to return home from work. She saw me and she dashed into the thick bushes beside the porch. I called out to her a couple times, thinking that if I got close to her I could see how healthy she was, how clean, if she let me handle her maybe I could spirit her upstairs and close her in my den until I could get her to my vet or the local animal shelter.

Alas, she stayed out of sight, deep in the bushes. I didn't pursue her because we're surrounded by a busy street and a driveway and I didn't want her to race out and risk getting hit.

It's going to be colder and colder each evening this week. I worry about that cat. I pointed out to my cats that they are lucky to be warm and dry and fed.

Movie Monday

This week's movie topic is all about Mobsters...

I hate to be so damn predictable, but I must go with the Corleones. I saw The Godfather for the first time at a highly impressionable age and my primary takeaway was that you could have sex standing against a door. Who knew?

Repeated viewings, however, convinced me that I and II are among the best movies ever made. The lush soundtrack, the meticulous attention to detail, the performances (no one in this movie has been better elsewhere -- except Keaton, she kinda sucks as Kay) and, oh, the dialog:

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."
"I made him an offer he couldn't refuse."
"Read the papers! That's your husband! That's your husband!"
"Today I settled all family business."
"I don't want my brother coming out of the john with his dick in hands."
"I don't need to wipe out everybody. Just my enemies."
"I know it was you. Fredo, you broke my heart!"

The dark side to these masterpieces is, of course, how quickly we are seduced into abandoning our own moral compasses and cheering for the bad guys. Make no mistake about it -- everyone in these movies is a bad guy. Even the ones, like Sonny and the Don, that we come to feel affection for.

To play along, click here.

I don't like you, but I love you

I spent my extra, "fall-behind" hour with Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire. The scene with Dorothy on the front porch, when his fingertips lightly dance over bare neck, back and shoulders ... sigh.

I know, I know ... the couch jumping was weird. It bugged me that he was so judgemental about Brooke Shields and depression. I admit there's something more than a little creepy about his relationship with Katie Holmes.

But when he's playing a part in front of a camera, I am completely charmed by Tom Cruise.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Strange Question Meme, Part 1

I recall answering this meme recently. Let's see if my answers are different this time.

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? Purple and white.

2. Name one person who made you smile today. A little boy who was so exhausted from Trick or Treating that he lay down on the floor.

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sleeping

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Writing checks

5. What is your favorite candy bar? Butterfinger

6. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes. But since the strippers were men, they preferred to be called "dancers."

7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "I'm sorry."

8. What is your favorite ice cream? How to choose? Mint chocolate chip. How did I choose? I like the taste.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Coke

10. Do you like your wallet? Yes. But the zipper pull fell off and I'm making due with a paperclip. Looks very cheesey.

11. What was the last thing you ate? Town House crackers. My stomach still isn't as settled and strong as I'd like.

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Only if my new black Gemma bag counts.

13. The last sporting event you watched? The World Series (Go Yankees)

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? One doesn't come to mind.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My niece.

16. Ever go camping? Yes. But not since the Clinton Administration.

17. Do you take vitamins daily? Yes.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Not every Sunday.

19. Do you have a tan? No. I'm of German-Irish descent and I live in Chicago. A tan would be unnatural.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Sometimes.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Only when it's a fountain drink.

22. What did your last text message say? "See you next Fri."

23. What are you doing tomorrow? I hope to hang out with my nephew. I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks.

24. Favorite color? Blue

25. Look to your left; what do you see? A heap of magazines and books.

You know it's Halloween when ...

Passed a 6' tall Stewie trying surreptitiously to scratch his (?) ass. Poor thing. I imagine it's hard to be discreet when dressed as a ginormous cartoon baby.

I'm watching it

I'm welcoming Halloween with Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates (and his mother) in Psycho. It's scary, all right, but it's also such a wonderfully made movie. It wasn't just the sex and violence that made it shocking for 1960. Crafty old Hitch took a unique approach to the narrative -- killing off the heroine early on, thereby forcing his audience to identify with the villain.

I'm not worried about being frightened by this horror classic. I have my big old tub of guts, Joey, purring beside me for comfort and company.

Friday night

I'm already in my pjs, farting around on the Internet and eating Town House crackers. My gut has been upset again all day and I'm really happy to be sitting here, curled up on my sofa, catching up on Monk and trading emails with my best friend.

I'm feeling very content, if a bit poopy. We made a lot of progress on our latest project -- my boss was inspired by something the other team creative did and, as a result, suggested changes to ours. I wasn't expecting our concept to move in this direction, but I'm fine with it. My art director seemed more than a little threatened by or pissed off about our boss' suggestions, but I'm all for making something better.

And I'm happy to be in contact with him more often. Because my best friend and I work in the same industry, it's good to run things past him. Everything makes more sense after I hear from him.

The scariest thing I could find for Halloween

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Glenn Beck.
(Thanks to Daniel Kurtzman of About.com.)

People actually watch him. People who vote. For legislators in our country. Where we live. Shudder.

1. "This president I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture....I'm not saying he doesn't like white people, I'm saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist." –on President Obama, sparking an advertiser exodus from his FOX News show, July 28, 2009

2. "I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. ... No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out. Is this wrong? I stopped wearing my What Would Jesus -- band -- Do, and I've lost all sense of right and wrong now. I used to be able to say, 'Yeah, I'd kill Michael Moore,' and then I'd see the little band: What Would Jesus Do? And then I'd realize, 'Oh, you wouldn't kill Michael Moore. Or at least you wouldn't choke him to death.' And you know, well, I'm not sure." –responding to the question "What would people do for $50 million?", "The Glenn Beck Program," May 17, 2005

3. "When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining." –"The Glenn Beck Program," Sept. 9, 2005

4. "The only [Katrina victims] we're seeing on television are the scumbags." –"The Glenn Beck Program," Sept. 9, 2005

5. "I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today." –on why people who lost their homes in forest fires in California had it coming, "The Glenn Beck Program," Oct. 22, 2007

6. "I have been nervous about this interview with you because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies. ... And I know you're not. I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way." –interviewing Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), the first Muslim U.S. congressman, Glen Beck's show on CNN's Headline News, Nov. 14, 2006

7. "Al Gore's not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization...And you must silence all dissenting voices. That's what Hitler did. That's what Al Gore, the U.N., and everybody on the global warming bandwagon [are doing]." –"The Glenn Beck Program," May 1, 2007

8. "So here you have Barack Obama going in and spending the money on embryonic stem cell research. ... Eugenics. In case you don't know what Eugenics led us to: the Final Solution. A master race! A perfect person. ... The stuff that we are facing is absolutely frightening." –"The Glenn Beck Program," March 9, 2009

9. "You have the artwork of Mussolini there, here in New York at Rockefeller Plaza." –analyzing the artwork decorating Rockefeller Plaza, which he said contained a hammer and sickle, Glenn Beck show on FOX News Channel, Sept. 2, 2009

10. "O-L-I-G-A-R-H-Y." –misspelling "oligarchy" on his chalk board while claiming he had deciphered a secret code that he said was proof President Obama was trying to create an "Oligarhy," Aug. 27, 2009, Glenn Beck show on FOX News Channel

Bonus Quote

"You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one – I can't speak for you, but I'm on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show." –"The Glenn Beck Program," Nov. 6, 2006

Friday 5

Friday 5 for October 30: At the Movies

1. What’s your favorite sports movie? The Natural. "Welcome to the majors, Mr. Hobbs."
   
2. What’s your favorite romantic comedy film? The Way We Were. "See 'ya, Hubbell."
   
3. What’s your favorite animated Disney movie? 101 Dalmations. I feel it's far superior tot he live action version.
   
4. What’s your favorite non-Disney movie musical? A Hard Day's Night. No surprise to regular readers of this space: I love Sir Paul
   
5. What’s your favorite stranger-in-a-strange-land / fish-out-of-water movie? Die Hard. New York Street cop John McLane trapped in an LA highrise.

To play yourself, click here.

Little moments

Taking a moment to remember all the little things that lift my spirit:

1. Charlotte the Cat, who for reasons all her own believes it is her sworn feline duty to sit on the toilet seat and help me apply moisturizer. I think I can do this without being under her watchful gaze, but she disagrees and is always there when I "need" her. It's very sweet.

2. Quick little emails from my best friend. Mostly about Halloween. Nothing earthshattering. But it's important to feel connected, and sometimes it's sharing the stuff of everyday life that bonds us together.

3. Peapod. My week's groceries are going to be delivered between 7:00 and 9:00 this evening. Is this a great country of what?

4. Sir Paul. Right now I'm listening to "She's A Woman." Listening to him has been good for what ails me for 45 years now.

I need to appreciate these tiny day-to-day jabs of pleasure more when I experience them.

Rusty

I took Friday and Monday off, recovering from stomach flu. Today is Wednesday, my second day back at my desk and I'm still having a hard time getting back into the swing of things. Tasks that I should be zipping through now befuddle me. Focus, Gal, FOCUS!

I Want Wednesday

What do I want to accomplish in November?

• To work out at least 13 times.

• To lose weight, not gain it. (Which may be a challenge because of my birthday and Thanksgiving.)

• To go through all the PAPER in my livingroom and part with much of it.

What do you want? To play along, click here.

Let yourself be inspired!

"Everybody's talking about: Revolution, Evolution, Masturbation, Flagellation, Regulation, Integration, Mediations, United Nations, Congratulations … ALL WE ARE SAYING IS GIVE PEACE A CHANCE."

John Lennon inspired me to dream about what one person can do to make change within her small sphere of influence. Who inspired you to try and make a difference in this world? Perhaps you would like to honor them next week with Peace Globe next week. Visit Mimi's blog for details (and inspiration).

Good to Know!

You Are a Zombie

Like a zombie, you can't really help who you are today. You're a product of your past. You tend to be needy to the point of being borderline dysfunctionally co-dependent. You literally can't exist without other people. And once you set your sights on someone, you become obsessed with chasing him or her down. When you want a person, you're not exactly subtle. You are forceful and honest... you have no trouble expressing what you want!

Are You A Vampire, Witch, Or Zombie?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

I love them

Maybe I've been locked away from humanity for too long, but during my convalescence it occurs to me that I love these men very much. If you happen to encounter one or all of them, please send them over. Thank you.

Congratulate me!

I'm my own girl, I march to my own drummer. That's why I have stomach flu and am dehydrated. While everyone else flocked to the Walgreen's Take Care Clinic for inoculation against garden variety flu or H1N1, I show up with gastrointestinal maladies.

The nurse practitioner says there's nothing to be done for me, really -- just Pepto Bismol and Advil every four hours, lots more water, and soup. The worst is probably over, and I should be feeling fine by tomorrow afternoon.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Halloween Meme

1. What is your favorite written work of horror fiction? It's a tie between two Stephen King stories -- Carrie (which I enjoyed as only a gal who survived an alienated adolescence could) and IT (which still freaks me out, just to think of it).

2. What is your favorite work of science fiction/fantasy? Can't think of one. Not a big fan of the genre. Sorry.

3. Who is your favorite monster? Milton the Monster. "Six drops of the essence of terror, five drops of sinister sauce. ("When the stirring's done, can I lick the spoon?" "Of course, aha! Of course.") And now for the tincture of tenderness, but I must use only a touch. For without a touch of tenderness, he might destroy me. WHOOPS, too much!"

4. What is your favorite Horror movie? Psycho

5. What horror movie gives you the most chills? Psycho

6. What character from any horror film would you most like to play? Carrie. So she dies at the end, she still knows how to fix those damn Heathers she went to school with!

7. Freddy or Jason? Which one is Jamie Lee Curtis' brother?

8. What is your favorite Halloween treat? Bit o' Honey. Since no one else really likes them, they're very easy to trade for.

9. Ghosts or goblins? Ghosts. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I know what a goblin is.

10. Friendly-faced jack-o'-lantern or scary one? Friendly. Rumor has is it smiling Blagojevich pumpkins are gonna be all the rage around here this year.

11. What is your scariest encounter with the paranormal? Don't believe I have ever had one.

12. Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not? I suppose I do. I mean, what's the difference between a ghost and the spirit I pray to?

13. Would you rather be a zombie, alien, or psycho? I think I'd prefer to be a zombie because they're all the rage this year. Maybe I could meet Abigail Breslin.

14. Favorite Halloween costume? I loved being Harpo Marx. I tormented everyone with that bicycle horn.

15. Best thing about Halloween? Seeing kids in costume. Too cute!

16. Person in your family who most likes Halloween (not counting yourself)? My niece, who will be 17 in a few weeks. She's been working hard every night on her Sally costume (The Nightmare Before Christmas).

17. Are you superstitious? I can be. Especially when it comes to air travel.

18. Share an unusual Halloween story. Picking it up from this blog entry. Generations of Chicagoans swear that it (or a variation) is true and she haunts Archer Avenue to this day: Imagine that it's a late, moonlit night. You are in nearby Justice, IL, driving down Archer Avenue and are just about to pass Resurrection Cemetery. Suddenly a teenage girl appears by the side of the road. She's easy to see, even in the dark, because she has white blonde hair and is wearing a white party dress. It can't possibly be safe for her to be out alone, walking around near a cemetary on a night like this, so you roll down the window and offer her a ride. She wordlessly shakes her head and you start to pull away. Just as you're picking up speed, she somehow appears directly in front of your car! You cannot stop and are sickened by the thud and crunch of breaking bones as you run her over. You get out to see if there's anything you can do to help this poor girl. But there's no trace of her. For it wasn't a real-live girl you encountered … It was Resurrection Mary!

19. What did you do for Halloween as a kid? Trick or Treat throughout the neighborhood after school. Lie to my mom and tell her of course I didn't eat any of the candy before she got a chance to inspect it for razor blades.

20. What's the best Halloween party that you've attended? I don't remember much about the party except that the guy I was dating -- a really adorable guy and I wish in retrospect that I appreciated him more -- refused to dress up because he said he wouldn't be comfortable. I told him everyone else would be in costume and he'd stand out more by not dressing up. So he devised a plan. He came to the party straight from work and met me wearing a brown jacket, white shirt and tie. "Geek!" said I. He pointed at a sticker affixed to the jacket. "HELLO! MY NAME IS: Rob Petrie, New Rochelle PTA, Richie's Dad." Yes, he came as Rob from The Dick Van Dyke Show. I thought it was a very creative solution to his costume dilemma.

Tomorrow is another day

As Thursday night turned to Friday morning, I was asleep on the bathroom floor. Most of Friday was spent on the sofa. The only productive thing I did today was take my recycling down to the dumpster. I hate being sick. I hate wasting so much of my life just wondering if it's "safe" to eat a bowl of oatmeal, wondering if what I'm feeling is just a garden variety headache, or the start of a vicious, debilitating migraine.

But as I write this, "tomorrow," or Saturday, has dawned. And, in the words of one of my earlier heroines, "Tomorrow is another day." I'm sure I'll feel better and get more done.

Someone's having a birthday

Little Miss Snarkypants was born on this day 49 years. I celebrate her with this wish (liberally borrowed from someecards):

May you live be to twice as old and half as weird as a certain celebrity.

Join me in wishing her a happy day, either as a comment here on on her own blog.

Welcome to the world, Baby Girl!

There's a new addition to the Blogosphere! A precious baby girl was born to Book Mama, bringing joy to Book Mama's mama, Snowbird. If you get a moment, leave a happy message for these two women who are so eager to shower this lucky new baby with love.

The world is treating me bad. MISERY!

The Lads won't fail me now. For no matter how I feel, there's a corresponding Beatle song. And, to cover yesterday and early this morning, an oldie called "Misery" fits the bill.

Got up early on Thursday because I had a big client presentation, revolving around a project that's been unremittingly and needlessly stressful. Made it to Union Station in plenty of time for my 9:25 train downstate and found it had been postponed. A freight train had derailed, and understandably Amtrak couldn't use the tracks. No one could tell me how late the delay would be because it was a problem completely out of Amtrak's power.

Which was OK because one of my coworkers/copresenters still hadn't gotten far from her home. She woke up to a flat tire. Because of her late start, she was still close to the The Loop and was able to give me a ride downstate to our client's offices.

We got down there just 30 minutes late (the best we could hope for under the circumstances) and discovered my copresenter's laptop didn't work in the client's conference room. So I had to fake it and forge ahead without her slides.

Amazingly, we got nothing but positive feedback from the client! By now it was 4:00. The presentation had been long and stressful. All I wanted was to board my 5:30-ish Amtrak train and sleep all the way home to Chicago.

Except that my Amtrak train had been canceled.

So my copresenter gave me aride back to the city. On the way back we stopped at Au Bon Pain. I had the corn chower. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!

Between 8:30 last night and 3:30 this morning, I have alternately been soaking in the bathtub or just laying on bathroom floor, willing myself to recover from my gastrointestinal maladies.

Misery!

Now I am going to try to sleep.

Gotta love it

Puppet Bike always makes me happy. It's often at the corner of Michigan and Randolph when I'm either coming into work or heading home. Watching two rather mangy (sorry, but they are) kitty puppets boogie while I'm waiting for the light really does brighten my day. Watching tourists and, especially, children watch the show makes me happy, too. So I showed my gratitude and support with a buck, and that made me even happier.

Puppet Bike is just one of the reasons why those who don't live in Chicago wish they could. I must be careful not to take special little city moments like this morning's for granted.

If these photos don't illustrate what I'm referring to, click here and check out the official site.

Me, me, all about me!

Had a rough day at work. It's tough to have responsibility but no power. A project that shouldn't be that hard at all was a real bitch. I learned that my boss can't make the presentation so I'm doing the whole thing in his place, and I'm not exactly tickled about it. I'm glad the client likes me, it's always good discover ways I'm valuable to the agency, but this means Thursday is going to be one long-ass day! As 5 became 6 and then 6:15, and I realized that no matter how much I did tonight, Wednesday and Thursday are going to suck, it struck me -- I either need a drink or a massage. I dug out my address book and called the spa at my health club. They close at 9:00, but they could squeeze me in at 7:30.

God bless 'em!

As soon as I got off the train, I raced home, grabbed my health club membership card and made it to the club almost in time. And then I settled in a for a most lovely massage. She paid special attention to my aching feet and my shoulders. I felt like an all-new girl.

As I left, I saw the sign at Five Guys Burgers flashing "OPEN" and, even though I shouldn't take in the extra calories, I couldn't resist. I must have been radiating good vibes because the fry guy at Five Guys insisted I take fries I didn't order. Honest. I don't know why he decided I needed free fries, but he did and so I had some.

What a nice "me" evening! Leaves me loose, relaxed and ready to face another day.

Ten on Tuesday

10 Guilty Pleasures

1. The Nancy Grace Show
2. US Magazine
3. Hot Tamales cinnamon candies
4. America's Next Top Model Obsessed marathons
5. Twitter
6. The Cat Who … mysteries
7. Pogo.com
8. The Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy songs on my iPod
9. Five Guys cheeseburgers
10. Memes

"I've got a crush on you, Sweetiepie ..."

My boss -- a balding, gray-bearded, suburban 50-something dad -- has been behaving in a most peculiar and unpredictable way lately. During our internal meetings, he disses our staid, down-to-earth client because they aren't willing to spring for more TV commercials … even though TV is the absolute wrong medium for what they're promoting, he would like to spend more time throwing around phrases like, "talent," "editing," and "on the coast." He has been cutting me out of the process, working directly with our department planner and the woman previously referred to as New Mom. My boss' new style boomerangs between merely annoying and getting in the way of my productivity.

Then, suddenly, it hit me. He has a crush on one, or both, of them! They are both young enough to be his daughters, and he wants them to think he's cool and on top of everything. I'm not implying anything is going on, in fact, I'm sure nothing ever will. But he's twitterpated! I guess now that his only son is away at school and with the workplace getting younger and younger, it's only normal that he have a midlife crisis. Since I have a front row seat for it, I must try not to smile too much.

Movie Monday

This week's movie topic is all about Westerns

I don't think of myself as being a big western fan, but now that I think of it there are a few that are very close to my heart.

The Electric Horseman. Redford plays a former rodeo champion who sells out for easy money, endorsing breakfast cereal. He gets fed up and drunk and steals the champion race horse he's supposed to appear with. Fonda is a TV reporter who thinks she's found the latest senational "Balloon Boy" story and takes off after him. The mountains are beautiful, the stars are beautiful, the horse is beautiful. And I like its message about being true to yourself.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. The two coolest guys ever.

Destry Rides Again. James Stewart is Destry, the pacifist sheriff who restores order to a wild western town. Marlene Dietrich is Frenchy, the dancehall girl with a good heart and "kind of a lovely face under all that paint." They are both very hot and very funny together and this is just another one of those terrific movies made in 1939. (Gone with the Wind, Wizard of Oz ...)

To play along yourself, click here.

Don't see any Elle Woods here

I'm watching Reese Witherspoon in her Oscar-winning turn as June Carter in Walk the Line. This is (at least) the third time I've seen this movie, and each time I admire her more. At first I was just surprised by her singing, her twang, and her big 1960s hair. (Elle Woods would never be so backcombed.) But there's a maturity, compassion and strength to this performance that Legally Blonde and Sweet Home Alabama never even hinted at.

And who can resist the love story?

Proton is my favorite

Thanks to Endomental for the link.

You Should Call Your Boobs "Proton & Neutron"

Sexy!

What Should You Nickname Your Boobs?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The ABC's of Meme

A- Advocate for: animals

B- Best Feature: my green eyes

C- Could do without: my belly fat

D- Dreams and desires: can be quite lusty

E- Essential items: iPod, chapstick, housekeys

F- Favorite past time: reading, TV, farting around on the Internet

G- Good at: my job

H- Have never tried: pot

I- If I had a million dollars: I'd buy you some art, like a Picasso or a Garfunkle

J- Junkie for: 1960s nostalgia

K- Kindred spirit: Katie Morosky

L- Little known fact: "Ywis" is a perfectly acceptable Scrabble word; it means "definitely."

M- Memorable moment: First time I saw the Jefferson Memorial at night. It's simply gorgeous.

N- Never again will I: sit through the crappy movie, Love Happens

O- Occasional indulgence: dark chocolate

P- Profession: Selling shit through the mail

Q- Quote: "East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does." Groucho

R- Reason to smile: I like my new haircut

S- Sorry about: skipping my workout today

T- Things you are worrying about right now: Money, my mom

U- Uninterested in: Dan Brown's books

V- Very scared of: Pennywise, the killer clown in IT

W- Worst habits: Sloppiness

Y- Yummiest dessert: Something with chocolate frosting

X- X marks my ideal vacation spot: Chateau Elan

Z- Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

If only ...

I'm in geek heaven, watching a History Channel documentary called JFK: 3 Shots that Changed America. This show replays the local and network news coverage of the President's assassination so I'm watching the story unfold the way most citizens did back then. And it's got me wondering, "if only."

When I play "if only" or "I wish," I purposely aim a little low. I don't want God to think I'm too greedy. Like when I buy my Lotto ticket, I don't hope to be the sole winner. I wouldn't complain if I have to share the $6.5 million with another ticketholder.

Likewise when I think about history and weave my "if only" about November, 1963, I don't wish that President Kennedy hadn't been taken. That's too much to even hope for. It was such a profound loss and it's arrogant to question God's will that much.

Instead I wish that Jack Ruby hadn't taken Lee Harvey Oswald out. First of all, I hate that the smirky, twisted little man you see here is now a historic figure of great and continuing interest. There are at least 12o books devoted to Oswald. He doesn't deserve all this attention -- he really doesn't. All he wanted was attention, to become famous. He expected to become legend by renouncing his citizenship and defecting to Russia. That didn't work. He shot at controversial Texas segregationist Edwin Walker, using the rifle shown in the cover shot, but he was stopped by the bullet-proof glass in Walker's living room. So then Oswald went to Plan C, and damn if he didn't finally get the attention he craved.

Because Ruby killed Oswald, he never stood trial. Some of the more pathetic aspects and motives of Oswald's life were never heard in open court. Because he disappeared from the scene so suddenly and with such violence and finality, the system didn't get to play out and Oswald takes on a mythic dimension. Some conspiracy theorists over the decades have turned this murderous twerp into a martyr, an innocent caught up in a web spun by powerful forces (the FBI, CIA, Castro or the Mob, take your pick).

I hate that.

P.S. Recognize this family? They are the Tippits. Officer J.D. Tippit was also shot by Oswald on 11/22/63. This poor man's reputation has taken quite a hit as conspiracies swirl. This family deserves better. Another reason I wish Oswald had lived to stand trial.

What to do?

I'm 3/4 of the way through this long book and believe I have figured out who the murderer is. I am tempted to abandon it. The story -- as all Cornwell stories are -- is very dark. There are aspects that annoy the hell out of me. (Scarpetta, a 50-plus-year-old medical examiner, is somehow one of the biggest celebrities in the country and has become the focus of one of hottest Internet gossip sites; have Jen and Brangelina and Britney all suddenly fallen off the face of the earth?)

But no, I'll finish it. The murderer's motives still have to be revealed, and I need to know what happens to two of the supporting players -- Lucy and Marino. Cornwell has created a compelling domestic manqué and I want to see how all the relationships end up.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Inside Job

1. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up? When I was really little,I wanted to be a teacher or a great singer.

2. Did you ever pursue that career? No and no.

3. If you are not in that field, what changed? a) I discovered I didn't enjoy school and b) I can't sing.

4. What is your current job? Associate Creative Director

5. What's the best part of what you do? Explaining how my efforts will move the client's business ahead

6. Do you have plans to do something else down the road? No. I enjoy my profession.

7. How did you get your present job? If you are a stay at home mom, how long did you need to plan that move? My friend and former coworker, Kathleen, worked here and convinced me to come on board.

8. Did your parents influence your choices of jobs over the years? Not at all.

9. What advice would you give your children on careers? That Mary Poppins was right: "In every job that must be done there is an element of fun." Pursue a career that provides you "an element of fun."

Funny how life works out

A distant lover (more than a decade ago and 600 miles away) does indeed have the son he always wanted, which is nice and I'm happy for him.

How did I learn this? I got an email about all the messages in my Linked In mailbox so I went to check it out and on the right hand side was a list -- "People Who Looked at Your Profile Also Looked at ..." There was his name. So I clicked on him and found that his interests are flyfishing and aviation. He's getting his pilot license because his son is interested in planes.

If we were together, he might not have gotten the son he wanted so badly and he CERTAINLY wouldn't be getting a pilot's license! So it all works out for the best.

Top 5 on Friday Music Meme

Top 5 artists/bands you'd like to see in concert but never have. (they have to be still around too...)

1) Bob Dylan. Because he's Bob Dylan.

2) Streisand. I want to see the world-champion, 14K diva live in concert … the one who, at age 67, recently outsold both Madonna and Mariah Carey.

3) Amy Winehouse. I love Back to Black and Frank and wonder what else/how much more she can do, and whether she can keep it together to do it.

4) Marcia Ball (right). My new artist discovery of 2009, even though she's been recording since the 1980s. I love her bluesy voice and her rocking piano, and bet she's a riot in concert.

5) John Mayer. I love how he bounces from soulful troubadour to guitar god and back.

To play along yourself, click here.

A little disappointed

Nancy Grace has returned to the Haleigh Cummings/Misty Crosselin story. I thought tonight she'd lead with Balloon Boy. I would have loved her "I can't imagine what I'd do if the twins took off in a helium-powered flying saucer!" story.