Let's hear it for The Gold Guy!

Sunday means Oscar. And I looooove Oscar. Here are my daring predictions for the acting categories:

Best Supporting Actress: Laura Dern, who was good as the cut throat divorce lawyer in Marriage Story. I liked Florence Pugh better; her Amy was the highlight of Little Women for me. But I don't vote. Plus, Dern undeniably had some great moments, compassionate to her client and brutal to opposing counsel.

Best Supporting Actor: Brad Pitt. This is my favorite category because I've seen all five performances, and think all five are worthy.  In Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Tom Hanks doesn't imitate Mr. Rogers, he evokes him and fleshes him out and makes him four dimensional. Similarly, Anthony Hopkins makes Pope Benedict warmer than I'd thought possible in The Two Popes. (I laughed out loud when he said, "It's a German joke, so it doesn't have to be funny.") In The Irishman, Joe Pesci is a quiet menace, a monster benign in appearance and manner. His costar, Al Pacino, is so warm and alive as Hoffa that you're sad every moment you see him, anticipating his inevitable demise. But Brad Pitt ... His Cliff Booth is heroic and silly and irreverent and completely charming. And this was a surprise for me, as I'm not much of a Brad Pitt fan. But in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (like in Moneyball) he disappears into the part and wins me over.

Best Actress: Renee Zellwegger. I adore Judy Garland, and approached the movie Judy with a healthy skepticism. And I wasn't crazy about the film because it focused so narrowly on The Wizard of Oz Judy and end-of-the-road Judy, ignoring the stunning career she had between those touchpoints. But still, Zellwegger is awesome. It's a fair, affectionate, tender and funny performance. She gives Judy her due, even if the script does not. (The Academy never did, either. Zellwegger could win an Oscar for playing an actress who was denied her Oscar.)

Best Actor: Oh, just give it to Phoenix already! I admit I didn't care for the movie Joker. It's too dystopian, even by comic book/fantasy standards. And it's too, too long -- I stopped caring what was real and was imagined. I just didn't give a shit anymore. But Joaquin Phoenix is brilliant. He makes you see how the world broke him, and you feel compassion for him. You understand Joker/Arthur and you give him credit for owning his madness. "What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that treats him like trash?"

I'll leave you with Joker/Arthur literally descending into insanity. Compare this performance with Phoenix's turn as Johnny Cash in Walk the Line, and you'll be blown away.

"Hi, Neighbor!"

I had a happy encounter today on my neighborhood's busiest boulevard. I'd just been to the dentist -- that tooth sensitivity I'd experienced earlier in the week turned out to be nothing (yea!) -- and was headed to Target when a couple half a block ahead of me turned around and the woman said, "Hi, Neighbor!"

I think they forgot my name. I know I forgot theirs. But we lived next door to one another for a few years, until they moved out about three neighbors ago. We had a lovely moment when their daughter was born, just after my mom died. I told them how happy it made me to hold a baby, when I was mourning. Also, since my mom loved both The Brookfield Zoo and babies, I gave their newborn a teeny-tiny t-shirt I'd picked up at my first trip to the zoo after my mom died. I did it more for myself than for them, really. It felt right and helped me heal. But still, it meant a lot to them. Funny how little things make an impact, isn't it?

Anyway, that baby girl is now in first grade and they wanted to share photos. In the February cold, we stood there together as scrolled through their phones and showed me pictures of her. I noticed that, in all of the recent ones, she was wearing a Gryffindor scarf, so I know she's a young Harry Potter fan. They told me that she's attracted to the magical and supernatural, but is learning to make choices. When something scares her, she turns it off herself.

Anyway, between the blissful outcome at the dentist and my encounter on Main Street, I was happy. Happy is good.

Saturday 9

Two Divided by Love (1971)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? You can hear it here.

1) Sam's teacher told her she'd use math every day. What's the last math problem you solved? (Did you add to/subtract from the balance of your checkbook ... use division to figure out how much you'd save with 25% off that sweater ...) I figured out how much tip to leave the server.

2) The lyrics tell us that if you take away the rain from a flower, the flower just won't grow. Do you have any indoor houseplants? Could they use a drink of water this morning? I have two philodendrons. One is big, the other is massive. They get water and attention without fail on Mondays, and whenever I go into the den. I fantasize about draping them from the ceiling, the way Hepburn did with her philodendron in The Desk Set.

3) This week's artists, The Grass Roots, are introduced in this video by country music superstar Kenny Rogers. Who is your favorite country music singer? Garth Brooks.

 
4) The two unmarried members of the group -- guitarist Warren Entner and drummer Ricky Coonce -- competed for a lady's affection on a 1968 episode of The Dating Game. Neither of them won! She chose Bachelor #1. Anyway, have you ever appeared on a game show? Do you know anyone who has? My friend Nancy was on Jeopardy. She did pretty well, too.

5) The Grass Roots were originally called The 13th Floor. They chose this cheeky name because many high rises do not have a 13th floor since 13 is considered an unlucky number, and they were thumbing their noses at superstition. Are you superstitious? Only about airline travel.
 
6) At the time of his death in 2011, group leader Rob Grill was still playing music, touring with a reconfigured Grass Roots. His widow Nancy referred to him as "one lucky son of a gun" because he'd been able to support himself as a musician, doing what he loved for 45 years. In what ways do you consider yourself fortunate? My body is pretty resilient. Come to think of it, so is my spirit.

7) In 1971, the year this song was released, Walt Disney World opened in Florida. The Epcot Center was added in 1982. Have you ever visited this, or any, Disney theme park? I've been to Disneyland twice and Disney World once.


8) Fresh chicken was just 43¢/lb. in 1971. Do you prefer the breast or drumstick? Drumstick.

9) Random question: Do you work well under pressure? I work best under pressure.

I suppose this was "locker room talk," too

George Romney's son honored his father by acting on their shared faith, by discussing how seriously one must take an oath before God.

This is how Donald Trump's son followed his lead. The Trump men do love the word "pussy," don't they?


I'm offended as a Christian and a woman. There are uber "Christian" women in the blogosphere who complained about the knit "pussy hats" worn in Woman's March after Trump's election. They railed against the vulgarity of these women when discussing our President. I'm sure these same women are offended by DJT Jr.

No, I'm not. I'm sure they excuse it.

They somehow insisted that Trump is "prayerful" and his family can do no wrong.

Then there's this display of our "prayerful" President at the National Prayer Breakfast. The keynote speaker, a Harvard theologian, encouraged those assembled to "love your enemies." You know, like Christ tells us in the Book of Matthew.

Our "prayerful" President Donald J. Trump opened his remarks by saying, "I don't know if I agree with you."

How's that for Christian values? (What do you bet he's never opened his Bible?)

Young people are turning away from organized religion. The hypocrisy of Boomers and Xers is where I place the blame. How can they look at this sort of thing and see anything but bullshit?

Tuesday 4

HOME WORK

1. Are you an impulse buyer or do you weigh the value/cost/necessity before you buy? Impulse

2. What do you really resent having to pay for?  Duller-than-dull necessities, especially light bulbs.

3. Do you have  favorite brands of household cleaners, detergents, soaps? Can you tell us why you like them? Maybe you will give us better ideas. (1) I have two cats, and it seems I'm always cleaning up after them, so I take my paper towels very seriously. My go-to is Viva. They don't tear or fall apart, and they don't leave "lint" behind. (2) I've tried many ways to clean my toilet bowl, and have decided old school is best: Comet cleanser and a brush. (3) For protein-based stains -- like blood or chocolate -- shampoo makes a good pre-treat.

4. What is a typical day of housekeeping for you? Procrastination and avoidance.

 

Sunday Stealing

ANOTHER FOOD MEME

How do you like your eggs? Usually over easy. Sometimes scrambled. Occasionally in an omelette, if I'm in a particularly cheesy mood. Now and again, hard boiled. Oh, hell, I really like eggs.

How do you take your coffee/tea: Tea, not coffee. With sweetener.
Favorite breakfast foods: Eggs. Wheat toast or English muffin. Bacon. Though every once in a while I like pigs in a blanket.

Peanut butter: smooth or crunchy? Crunchy.

What kind of dressing on your salad? Either 1000 Island or honey mustard.

Coke or Pepsi? Coke

You feel like cooking. What do you make? A grilled salmon filet and a salad.
 
You’re feeling lazy. What do you make? I nuke something from Stouffers.

You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order? I stop at the pizza place around the corner for a slice of thin crust, cheese and sausage.

Is there a food you refuse to eat? Uncooked tomatoes.
Favorite fruit & vegetable: Strawberry and corn.

Favorite junk food: Sometimes I want a Big Mac, and nothing else will do.

Favorite between meal snack: Crackers

Do you have any weird food habits: I eat one food item at a time. I don't think this is weird, but it annoyed the living shit out of my icky grandmother and one of my old boyfriends.

You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on? I've never dieted. Which is not to say I shouldn't diet.

How spicy do you order Indian/Thai? Not spicy at all.

The perfect nightcap? Bailey's Irish Creme. Have you tried it in hot chocolate? I highly recommend it.

Good company

I fell asleep at 7:30 and woke up four hours later, almost in time for my next dose of inhaler. This bronchitis is a drag and I can't stand how it's dominating my life.

Anyway, I switched on TCM and there she was. First she was Fanny, now she's Katie. But she's always ineffably Barbra.

After Katie and Hubbell say their final goodbyes in front of the Plaza, I'm going back to bed. In the meantime, I'm glad she's been here for me.

Funny Girl

The Way We Were

Even harder to write

Last weekend, I spent the day with Kathy in Dekalb. I didn't want to go. It's an hour of travel time each way. I was exhausted by my battle with bronchitis and embarrassed by my coughing fits.

But this day in Dekalb was a gift to me from Kathy. She got us tickets to see Casablanca on the big screen at the village's historic Egyptian Theater. This is something she isn't interested in, she chose to do it for me. She also promised me breakfast. It was very important to her, and my conscience wouldn't let me cancel on her.

It's the first time I spent time with Kathy since November. We've been in touch regularly through social media and email, but not in person. I was shocked Sunday by her mental decline. Kathy's mind retains little. I'm not exaggerating. My day with her was disturbing.

Example: the movie started at 2:00. She knew this. She bought the tickets in advance and was so excited about it, she texted me a photo of them. Yet she insisted I come on the train that arrived in Dekalb at 10:00 AM. That not only meant that this sickly gal had to get up and get going much earlier than I'd intended, it left us four hours before the movie. Turns out she forgot and thought the movie started at noon. She kept asking me, "Now what do you want to do?" As if arriving at 10:00 was my idea.

Example: she told me she was buying me breakfast. Great! Few things make me happier than a good coffee house breakfast. So I was surprised that, when the waitress asked us if we wanted separate checks, she said, "yes." Then she grabbed my check and sniffed in disapproval. "Why would she give us separate checks?"

Example: she forgot a family birthday party. She didn't "connect" that the movie and her great granddaughter's first birthday celebration were both on January 26. After the movie, we went to the party, arriving very late but at least in time to see the cake and sing. I felt terribly out of place, especially since Kathy made it sound as though I was the reason she missed the beginning of the party. And let's not forget, I was coughing on little kids.

There's more, but I can't bear to detail it. It's too depressing.

Kathy is 72. That seems young to me to be battling dementia. I mentioned to her that she should see the doctor. She said she's due to go in April. I intend to remind her.

Her three adult grandchildren are always in and out of her home. They all have keys. The eldest -- the mother of the birthday girl -- even commented on Kathy's forgetfulness. Good naturedly and casually, but it was obvious this was a conversation they'd had before and more than once.

Since her family is there and aware, I don't want to press. Kathy is proud, and I know she would resent my intrusion.

I had dinner and drinks with John this past week to discuss this, and he agrees. He worries about her, too, and will continue to reach out, continue to recommend that she see her doctor. But beyond that, he doesn't see what we can do. He believes that, if we press, Kathy will just withdraw.

President Kennedy observed, after his father's stroke, that "old age is a shipwreck." I get it now.

Hard to write

I returned to the office on Tuesday after being away for a week as I battled bronchitis. I'd been in constant touch with my team every day but one, the day I went to the doctor. I dialed in to a couple meetings, I handled a few revisions, all from my dining room table. It was a nice respite from the stress and tension of being in the thick of it.

But it couldn't last forever.

Tuesday I learned three women I work with -- all vice presidents -- were leaving at the end of the month, which was also the end of the week. Only one openly admitted she'd been let go. But I'm not stupid. I'm supposed to believe that three vice presidents, each from a different department, simultaneously decided to leave on the same day ... a day that just so happens to make life easier for accounting.

When Production VP and I got a moment alone together, she admitted that she began "negotiating" her departure with management back in October. She was told lay offs were imminent and volunteered to go herself. She'd been with the agency nearly 25 years (an almost unheard of tenure in advertising) and wasn't ready to go back into the trenches of handling day-to-day projects, which she'd have to do after her team was decimated. She chose instead to walk away, thereby saving their jobs. I admire her self awareness and the generosity of her choice. She was very teary-eyed on her last day. It was hard for her.

Then Strategy VP and I had a chat. She's the one that really hurts. She relocated a year ago October, moving to Chicago from Atlanta, uprooting her husband and twin boys for this job. A position this agency recruited her for. I was furious! She told me not to be -- that this was "mutual." The relationship wasn't a "good fit." Well, fuck that! Her team loves her. She's accessible and has tremendous integrity. She was also extremely helpful to me when she watched me going through a bad patch. She's a generous soul, a good egg. A mensch. Unfortunately, she's also her own girl and she called them as she saw them. She was too squeaky a wheel in too high profile a position.

I told her that if she didn't fit "our culture," there's something wrong with "our culture." She laughed and reiterated that this wasn't a bad thing. She told me about one of her boys, the more sensitive one. She said every time she left on a business trip, he'd say, "Mommy, why do you have to go? You don't want to go." He's 11, and she's been traveling for work his entire life. Why was he piping up now? Was it a phase he was going through? No, she said, it was a phase she was going through, and her son was picking up on it. Her professional unhappiness was affecting her personal life, and so it's time to move on.

I have an email from her personal account. I haven't opened it yet. I'm still too sad about losing her.

Four other people -- folks I don't know -- also left on Friday. There are inevitably more to come. Maybe me.

I truly don't believe it will happen, not yet, but I can't afford to be surprised. This morning, I ran the numbers. Between severance and my emergency fund, I can go about 40 weeks before touching my retirement savings. That will give me some time to regroup and look for another job.

I don't know what I want to do, but I don't want to do this anymore. When this job ends, I will be done with agency life. I've felt the blade touch my neck over and over for the past 28 years. I'm tired.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Waiting All Day for Sunday Night (2012)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.


1) This week's Saturday 9 has a football theme because there's a big game Sunday. Will you be watching? Nope. I can't watch football at all. I see players like Mike Adamle and it breaks my heart, the way they were permanently damaged for our entertainment. I admit that watching a loved one -- my dear friend Henry -- deal with TBI exacerbates my feelings on this subject.

Also, I'm in advertising. By now I'm saturated by talk about the commercials and half time show, so The Big Game feels more than a bit like work.

2) The Super Bowl is a big day for food consumption in the US, second only to Thanksgiving. What's on your menu this weekend? Nothing planned. I'm just going to see how the weekend unfolds.

3) The NFL has decreed that the Super Bowl will never be played in a city that has a median February temperature of less than 50º. Would your hometown qualify for the Big Game? The median February temperature here in Chicago is 32º. You know, freezing. So no. (Though it is supposed to be unseasonably warm here on Sunday.)
 
4) This version of the NFL theme song mentions the Steelers and the Broncos. During the regular season, which team do you root for? How did they do in 2019? I don't really have a football team. I'm happy for Bear fans when the Bears do well, but I don't watch games.

5) This version of the Sunday Night Football song is by Faith Hill. She also has ties to the MLB, since her husband is Tim McGraw, son of the Mets' pitcher Tug McGraw. Which sport do you prefer -- baseball or football? Baseball. Specifically, Cubs baseball.

    
6) Faith has performed live at more than one The Super Bowl in the past, performing both "America, the Beautiful" and "The Star Spangled Banner." What's your favorite patriotic song? "America, the Beautiful" always gets me. When we sing this at church, the third verse is always included, and it's my favorite:
O, beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife
Who more than self thy country loved
And mercy more than life.
America! America! May God thy gold refine.
Til all success be nobleness and every gain divine.
 
7) She has a perfume line with Coty that was a big seller at CVS during Christmas 2018. What's the last item you bought at a drugstore? Allergy meds and a bottle of shampoo.

8) Faith Hill is the producer of a talk show on CMT called Pickler and Ben. Is the TV on as you answer these questions? If so, what are you watching? An old movie called The Last of Sheila. It's good, twisted fun.

9) Random question: You've got a chip in your hand and three dips to choose from -- guacamole, salsa, and onion. Where does your chip get dipped? Onion. Though I have no problem devouring a nice, plain corn chip or two. (Or ten.)

Tuesday 4

Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?

1. Have you built snowmen, women or even entire families of snow people like little sister Tootie did in Meet Me in St. Louis? Did you use a carrot for the nose? Tell us all about how it. We had a big backyard to play in during our long Chicago winters, so I'm sure we built snowmen. I only specifically recall one, though. We gave him a gray scarf. His eyes were lumps of coal and his nose was a potato that had seen better days.

2. Are you hoping for snowmen to melt soon in hotter weather? Tell us about your favorite time of year and please let us know why you love it. List some ingredient of that season that make it special for you. I enjoy living where we have four distinct seasons, and there are things to appreciate in each one. But I am eager for April because I want baseball to start. I miss my Cubs!

Soon, Rizzo will be thrilling me again every day

3. Remember bundling up as a child? It took so long to do then you had to go potty and all those layers had to come off again! Is dressing up something you enjoy doing? Why? In this way, I'm like a toddler. I don't mind being dressed in layers. I just hate the process of putting the layers on and taking them off.

4. In Frozen, the little girl desperately wants to reconnect with her sister and reminds her of the

Not us, but it could be

happy times of building snowmen.  Are you disconnected from anyone you'd love to reunite with? What happy times with friends and siblings brings you fond memories and smiles to you? I miss my oldest friend all the time, but these questions have piqued particular longing. We've been friends since Kindergarten, and her dad used to take us sledding and then for hot chocolate. Those sunny winter Sundays are among my most cherished girlhood memories. Alas, she moved to Southern California about 8 years ago, and distance and circumstances make it hard for us to remain as close as I'd like.

I'm some people

Yesterday was my first full day out of the house since in a week. I tried to do too much, and I made myself sick again. Sometimes, I'm a real idiot.

I got up early and took the 8:55 train out west to visit Kathy in Dekalb. Between the train and then the car ride, it takes about 90 minutes. To keep from disturbing my fellow commuters with my hacking cough, I sucked a couple of medicated lozenges.

Kathy and I had a lovely brunch and then sat in her apartment and blabbed for a while. Then we were off to see Casablanca at Dekalb's historic Egyptian Theater (see below). Before the movie, I consumed another pair of lozenges.

Naturally, I loved the movie. I've seen Casablanca easily 20 times, and it still entertains and moves me. Usually when I see it, I'm touched by Bogart. Rick Blaine is a very nearly perfect man, and it hurts to see a heart like his broken. But yesterday, I was impressed by how good Bergman is as Ilsa. She really shines in that scene in Le Belle Aurore, when she knows Victor is alive but can't tell Rick.

After the movie, we went to a family birthday party. Since kids would be present, and I didn't want to cough on them, I sucked another pair of lozenges. Then I traveled another 90 minutes home.

I was in bed, exhausted, by 8:00 PM. While it's not like I plowed the back 40 or anything, it was more exertion than I'd had in a week.

I was awakened by stomach cramps at midnight. Diarrhea inevitably followed. I hadn't realized that, in some people, these lozenges "can have a laxative effect."

I'm "some people."

All this travel and intestinal unrest set my recovery back, and Monday was another WFM day.

Here's Looking at You, Kid

On Sunday, I went to see Casablanca at the Egyptian Theater in Dekalb. Built in the 1920s, it was one of a chain of themed theaters designed by Elmer F. Behrns. They're historic, and the one in Hollywood -- Grauman's Egyptian Theater -- is a TCM Film Festival venue.

The one in Dekalb is much smaller and, frankly, in sadder shape than her glittery Hollywood sister. But remodeling and renovation is underway! And Sunday's event was a fundraiser to help restore her to her former glory.

Sunday Stealing

 WINTER QUESTIONS

 How do you get past the gray skies during winter? I don't. Gray skies don't bother me.

 Do you like snow? Why or why not? Yes. It's pretty (at least when it first falls).

 What are your favorite activities to do during the winter? Cocooning! Though I do like walking outside during the winter.

 What does a perfect winter day look like to you? 35º, sunny, with shoveled sidewalks  and sunny skies.

 What are your favorite meals/food you enjoy eating during the winter? Pasta. Lately I've been eating a lot of lasagna.
 
What is your favorite winter holiday and why? I like Thanksgiving, because it's so positive and low key. Christmas can be a little hectic, and there are so many more expectations on it.
 
What is your favorite pizza flavor and toppings. Cheese and sausage.
 
What are some items in your daily bag/ backpack. Wallet, phone, day planner, glasses, contact lens case, contact lens solution, pain killers, Immodium, makeup, hairbrush.
 
Your favorite snacks. It changes. Lately, it's peanut butter. Before that, it was graham crackers.
 
Some foreign countries that you would like to visit. England, Canada ... Actually, I don't fantasize much about foreign countries. There are too many places in the US I'd like to revisit.
 
What things that remind you of home I don't quite get the question, as I'm sitting here at home right now. When I'm away for a while, I miss my cats.
 
If you have one, some items from your Amazon Wishlist I don't have one.
 

What was your favorite Christmas gift? The Hollywood Book Club. It's a book of old-school portraits of classic Hollywood stars reading. It's a lovely little union of two of my favorite things: books and movies. It was from Patrick, a new-ish friend I met through Henry and Reg in Key West, and I was delighted that he gets me.

Saturday 9

Go Where Baby Lives (1957)

Unfamiliar with this week's song. Hear it here. 

1) The lyrics tell us that the girl of his dreams lives up on a hill. Is there a hill near your home? Or is the terrain pretty flat where you are? Very flat. I'm always awed when I see mountains. Like in the limo from the airport last spring when I visited Los Angeles. The driver was amused by how I nearly pressed my nose to the window as we passed the mountains. He drives through them every day, so he's used to them. But I was thrilled.

2) Another clue to her whereabouts is that she's about a mile from town. Will you be staying close to home this weekend, or will you be traveling a mile or more? Maybe. My friend Kathy invited me to visit her in Dekalb, which is about 50 miles away. We'll see if that actually comes off. I'm recovering from bronchitis (see post below) and there's snow predicted. Kathy was going to pick me up at the train station, and she's not confident the roads will be cleared by Sunday noon.

3) Sam admits she's crazy about the sax solo. Is there a particular musical instrument that you love to listen to? I especially love the horn riff on "Silly Love Songs." (Comes in at about 2:35.) It's played by trombone, trumpet and sax, I believe. 

 

4) This is the only record The Strollers made for States, a company based out of Chicago. States was only in existence for five years (1952-57) and this was the 63rd or 64 records released before they went out of business. Tell us about a business in your neighborhood that recently closed their doors. Until December 27, there was a French cafe here in town. It was a fixture on that corner for nearly 30 years. I didn't go often -- it was always crowded and I don't like waiting -- but last month, my friend Nancy and her husband and I stopped there for dinner, to celebrate the holidays and to say "goodbye." Our waitress was so sweet. She looked all of 25 and said this was the only job she'd ever had. Oh well, things change. I'm sure something new will move in there and it will be a watering hole for a new generation.

5) More than 60 years after its initial release, this song enjoyed new popularity when Xfinity used it in commercials for their wifi. What company is your internet service provider? Are you happy with it? Xfinity. Yes, I'm happy with it. I've got a bundle -- TV, wifi and yes, a landline -- and each service is there when I need it. I'm not cutting the cord until I'm forced to.

6) In researching this week's song, Sam googled "strollers" and was surprised to discover how many different types of baby buggies are available today. When did you most recently push a child in a stroller? More than a decade.

7) In 1957, the year this song was released, President Eisenhower celebrated his second inaugural with a parade featuring more than 50 marching bands. The mercury never quite reached 45º that day. How's the weather outside your front door? The mercury never reached 45º here today, either. It's 34º and raining and snow is predicted.

8) One of the best-selling books of 1957 was Peyton Place. This steamy saga of small town life launched two films, two television series, and several made-for-tv movies. Is there a book that you enjoyed that was successfully turned to a movie? Many! Here are some of the very best.

9) A Peyton Place-inspired question: Can a man be physically unfaithful to a woman, but still love her? I suppose ... but I feel sorry for him. He must feel very guilty.

Hard for me to get my mind around

I finally went to the doctor on Wednesday. I'd been feeling really rundown and sick for more than a week and it finally dawned on me that this was not just a cold.

But here's the thing: I don't have a doctor. My long-time GP retired last summer, and I just received a letter from her successor, saying that he's moved on, also. I don't much mind, because I didn't know him well and, frankly, what I knew I didn't like. But it did leave me in a bind now that I need treatment.

I went down to the walk-in clinic just a half mile from my house. What a lucky choice that was! The nurse practitioner,  Ruth, was terrific! She was thorough, communicative, compassionate. She took the wheezing in my chest seriously and didn't like the level of oxygen in my blood. This confused her, as she repeated that I didn't "present" as sick as the test indicated I was.

She decided to send me for a chest x-ray. This was news I wasn't expecting. But, she told me, hypoxemia is serious in patients "our age." Over 55. AARP members. Old broads. It could account for my fatigue, and if it continued, it might lead to COPD and/or organ damage.

What the hey! I thought it was a cold with a tenacious cough! Then she added the word I was afraid was coming but hoped not to hear: pneumonia.

There's a disconnect between my age and how I feel. I've heard of "elderly," "senior" patients for whom colds and flu turn into pneumonia. I just don't feel elderly or senior yet. But, I'm 62, so I have to accept this.

My history of c. diff complicates things. Up to 25% of c. diff patients suffer recurrence. Antibiotics are a dicey issue for me. As a nurse practitioner, Ruth didn't want to prescribe antibiotics that could awaken any dormant c. diff germies. Yet if it turned out to be pneumonia, I would need a higher level of care than she could give me.

GULP!

So I went to immediate care, x-ray order in hand. The entire process -- from check in to photographs -- took 30 minutes. I don't think I've had a chest x-ray before. Takes less time than a mammogram.

By end of day Wednesday, I had my diagnosis: bronchitis. Yea! So much less serious than pneumonia. The radiologist also reported that my spine curves. Yes, we know that now. Isn't it funny how I went decades with no one talking about my back, and now a chiropractor and radiologist are all about my "scoliosis?"

I worked from home Thursday and today. Attended a meeting over the phone, made a few revisions from my dining room table, but mostly I took it easy and was careful to puff on my inhaler every six hours.

And am reminding myself that I have to take stuff like this more seriously going forward. I get mad at John and Henry for not listening to their doctors, and here I am, with no doctor of my own.

Ruth gave me a folder of general practitioners she's familiar with at the nearby hospital. I'll have to look them over and see if there's one that looks like a good match.

Tuesday 4

HOBBY GIRLS
 
1. Do you have a hobby or a special interest?  Do you quilt, crochet, cook, sew, collect things, sing, play an instrument, love dolls , politics, learning, reading, biking, hiking, camping, swimming, flower arranging, watching TV? Do you love to entertain, set a beautiful table or just take a walk? Share it with us won't you?
  Why do you enjoy it? Can you tell us how you became interested or what particularly interests

you about your hobby.
Would you share some photos or pictures of your hobbies or interests or lovely things you've seen along the way?

I read. Books and magazines and blogs and newspapers and anything that falls into my hands. I prefer reading pages I can turn to a screen I can scroll. 

I like the escape of reading. It's a personal and private adventure. It's a way to learn. And, as one who spends a great deal of her life on public transportation, it provides me a little armor.

2.  Gardening is a hobby for some.
Do you garden or grow house plants?
 What do you like about it? What are your favorite plants inside or out? Pictures? We'd love to see  photos of you house or garden plants or hear about ideas you have for growing things or creating beauty with plants around the house.

I have two philodendrons -- one large and one massive. They used to be in my office but now they're dominating my den. My dream is to figure out how to drape them around the room, safe from the cats' curious paws. My model for this -- as she is for many things -- is Katharine Hepburn.

From Desk Set

3. If you could design a dream garden or park , how would you do it? What would it contain.? Maybe include a picture from the net of one you think closely fits your dream garden.

One of my favorite places is Hot Springs National Park in Hot Springs, AR. It's one of many vacation spots that I've visited and long to return to. It's green and lush, with a winding trail up to the top of Hot Springs Mountain and an observation deck. Plus it has its own waterfall. Which is all my way of saying that my dream park would be anchored by a waterfall.

A waterfall of natural hot spring water.

4. Do you like being outdoors? If so, what attracts you to the great outdoors and if not, what keeps you inside?
Do you walk in the rain?Are there parks near you that you like to visit?

The thing I like best about being outdoors is checking out the color of the sky. I love all the shades of blue and grey and black. There's a little park by the library that I cut through when the weather is good (and I have time).

And what did you do today?

I took a bath and shaved my legs!

Then I got dressed and took out the trash. I didn't cheat and use the chute. I went all the way down to the dumpster.

I walked all the way around to the front of the building (!) and picked up my mail.

I came back up and washed down my George Foreman grill.

I changed my sheets and towels.

I sorted my laundry (whites, darks and colors).

I put on fresh pajamas and got back into bed.

When you're sick, this feels like a productive day!

Maybe this flurry of activity means I'm on the mend.

A bright spot

I've felt crappy all week, and that has colored my outlook. I shouldn't let that happen. Nothing is ever all bad, and there's always something to be happy about.

This week, it was dinner with John. We met at Infield's, the little sports-themed bar in the basement of Macy's.* We had a lovely time.

I approached it with some trepidation. I've been having a terrible time getting hold of John since Thanksgiving! He refuses to do Facebook, seldom checks his email, can't access his voicemail, and is spotty about responding to texts. If my text doesn't fortuitously reach him at the moment he's looking at his phone, it can go unread for days (forever?).

I told him as sternly as possible that this is a shitty practice. He is 64, with heart disease and diabetes. He's been hospitalized for both. How do I know he's OK?

He apologized. It turns out that much his self-imposed isolation comes from the blues. Garden variety depression. I'm not making light of it, but I'm relieved because it's something I can understand.

John was laid off in September. His severance was up in mid-October, and now he's collecting unemployment. He's getting by, but barely. He knows that he has to seriously begin looking for work, but he doesn't know what he wants to/can do. Since January 6 -- the day everyone at his old office returned to work -- he's felt aimless and adrift.

I told him I'd help in anyway I can. I invited him to enjoy my gift card to Tao with me, and that made him happy. We laughed a lot. I enjoyed my burger -- really, if you're ever at Infield's, get the plain, old, no-frills burger; it's very good. I was home and back in bed by 9:15 PM. (Hey! Don't judge me! I'm sick!)

*The name was once a pun. This Macy's was originally Marshall Field's flagship store. So "Infield's" meant not only baseball diamond, but also "In Field's."