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$10,000. That's the princely sum that Crazy Old Neighbor killed himself over. According to the note he left, he believed he was being hounded and blamed by us for the $3,000 he owes the condo association board (though not for the thousands in destruction of property, which he denied doing). He still owes his bank $7,000 for his 1 BR unit on the third floor. He left his condo and his car to relatives, but their lawyers contacted our lawyers to say that since they, too, were "estranged" from him and involved in litigation, they're not going to take possession of his stuff as quickly as we'd like.
I suppose it doesn't matter, really, as long as they aren't foreclosed upon and pay his assessments (both current and past-due).
I think about him constantly. The last time I saw him -- the Thursday before Labor Day -- I actually crossed the street to avoid making eye contact with him. Now he's dead.
I know he either would have ignored me or called me a "bitch" again, and I just didn't feel like dealing with it that day. But I still feel guilty. He was my neighbor and clearly he was in a lot of distress and that wasn't nice of me.
And then I'm mad at him anew. Because, like the damage to the laundry room he did that's yet to be repaired, he manages to get the last word ... over Labor Day, today and for all eternity.
Suicide can be a monstrously selfish act.
Honey, release your worry and concern about this gentleman and what his journey was.
ReplyDeleteIt's his and while you are sort of stuck with the aftermath, what he chose to do to end his life was his decision alone.
I can feel a lot of stuff weighing on you. (Your energy feels buzzy and fuzzy to me - like there's something beneath the surface and this is all just covering up the other stuff.) You always know where to find me.