He's baaaack ....

My oldest friend has suddenly rediscovered Facebook, and she and Archie Bunker are now "liking" one another's posts. So far he "likes" that she remembers A&W root beer drive-ins and she "likes" that he wishes he could grab a mitt and play catch on a sunny spring mornings.

Yeah, this is what my conflict-averse friend, she of fragile health, needs in her life -- a forever-angry, chronically-ill, out-of-work asshole who has already proven himself cavalier with her feelings.

I'm not happy with this turn of events.

Getting ready for spring

Carson's is my favorite department store twice a year, in the spring and in the fall. That's when they sponsor The Goodwill Sale. For every article of "gently used" clothes or linens, you get a coupon for 25% virtually anything in the store -- 15% off cosmetics.

Last weekend I went above the waist: I bought a belt, a pair of capris, a lightweight jacket and a half dozen spring tops. This weekend I concentrated down south with three pairs of pants -- two slacks (in case I find myself interviewing this year). I also got a pair of crocheted cardigans, in case it's crazy hot again this summer and I have to dress it up. And all of this was about $200. 

I'm facing forward, thinking of Spring. I'm ready to feel brand new and the new clothes reflect that.

Discovery!

I didn't know that I could wash the shower mat and "drain hair catch thing" in the washer ... with bleach! I'm thrilled! They are now clean and odor-free. Practically good as new.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: In the Wee Small Hours 
 

1) Crazy Sam's mom and dad still talk about how exciting it was to see Sinatra in Vegas! What music did/do your parents enjoy? My dad liked to listen to this lady named Jane Morgan. He played her tapes (first 8-track, then cassettes) in the car all the time. My mother enjoyed a cheesy 70s pop singer named Engelbert Humperdinck, but that's because she had a crush on him. I think it was the sideburns.

 
2) We all know Sinatra sang, and he won an Oscar for his acting. But he also painted and was proud to sell a few canvasses anonymously (signed "Artanis"). Do you have a secret talent? I can wiggle my ears. That's about it.

 
3) Those close to Sinatra maintained that every time he sang,"In the Wee Small Hours" (hear him perform it live here) he conjured up how it felt to lose his great love. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yes. But I'm still glad I knew him and I hope he's happy.

 
4) In 1966, when he was 50, Sinatra married 21 year old Mia Farrow. Their union lasted less than two years. Do you think a wide age gap necessarily dooms a romantic relationship? If the gap is three decades wide, I think it does. Five years, even 10 or 15 years, I think love can conquer. But look at them at the ballpark! They look like father and daughter. He's wearing a suit and tie! I wonder if their views on politics, pop music, books, etc. could have possibly been compatible. Wait, probably not, since their marriage lasted less than two years.

 
5) Offstage Sinatra wore orange sweaters and liked seeing orange throw pillows in his home and dressing room because he believed "orange is the happiest color." What color raises your spirits? Blue

 
6) Frank and his loyal buddies were famously known as "The Rat Pack." How many people do you consider close friends? A half dozen or so. But since they don't really know one another that well, I don't think I could ever herd them into a pack.

 
7) Sinatra's children followed their father into show business. What advice would you give a young person entering your career of choice? Have something to fall back on. I'm in advertising, and with each passing year I realize anew that it's a young person's profession. You never know when you're going to be out of a job and, like my friend Ed found himself at age 57, unemployable.

 
8) Legend has it that Frank was embarrassed by a scar on his face (received at birth from the forceps used in his delivery) and worked hard to cover it. Do you have a physical characteristic that you try to hide? I don't like my upper arms. I never go completely sleeveless if it can be avoided. I also firmly believe that America doesn't want to see the back of my thighs. I just bought a new pair of capris to wear this summer to protect you all from the vision of me in shorts.

 
9) In 1964, when he first heard The Beatles, Sinatra was very dismissive. By 1970, he called the Beatles' "Something" one of the most beautiful ballads ever. Tell us about something you changed your mind about. John Edwards. I saw him as a modern-day crusader for the poor, not the blue-eyed scummeister he turned out to be.

Can't shake the blues

Because I'm so upset by the situation with my sisters re: my mother's estate (to make a long story short, everything I do is wrong), I'm having trouble getting joy out of other areas of life. Worse, little things are rocking my world.

For example, The Body Shop closed two nearby locations -- one for good, one for renovation. The nearest shop is now a (Magnificent) mile up the street and will require me to walk 20 minutes up Michigan Avenue! No, don't talk to me about their website. It's still a freaking nightmare. Besides, I want to sample the lotions and potions before I buy.

This should not be shattering. The weather is getting better, and people come from all over the world to walk up Michigan Avenue. And The Body Shop is not the drugstore -- once I stock up and I won't have to keep visiting it over and over.  So why am I so upset?

Because I don't like my life right now.

Oh well, there are good things to report: My vacation is little more than a week away. YEA! I heard from my best friend heard my pleas and is back in regular (OK, nearly constant) contact. My oldest friend has been very supportive. (I owe her an email or two, which is nice instead of it being the other way around -- which would mean she was the one with the blues.) I found a group that meets every month to watch and discuss old movies (I signed up for Mildred Pierce in May). And baseball starts in little more than a week. I'm always happier when I have the Cubs.

The Queen's One Word Meme

Her royal highness, Queen Mimi threw down the gauntlet and dared us to use nothing but one-word answers as we respond to this meme. I'm notoriously blabby, but let's see how it goes.

1. Where is your mobile? Purse

2. Your significant other? Who?

3. Your hair? Brownish

4. Your mother? Gone

5. Your father? Gone

6. Your favorite? Paul

7. Your dream last night? Unremarkable

8. Your favorite drink? Coke

9. Dream/goal? Organization

10. Virtue? Unselfish

11. Hobby? Reading

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here

14. Where were you last night? Sofa

15. Something that you aren't? Thin

16. Muffin? Breakfast

17. Wish list item? Cash

18. Where you grew up? Nowheresville

19. Last thing you did? Ate

20. What are you wearing? Jeans

21. TV? On

22. Pets? Cats 

23. Friends? Cherished

24. Your life? Complicated

25. Your mood? Melancholy

26. Missing someone? Yes

27. Car? None

28. Something you're not wearing? Shoes

29. Your favorite shop? Carson's

31. Glass half empty, or half full? Full

32. Shiver, quiver or slither? Shiver

30. Your favorite color? Blue
 

33. When is the last time you laughed? Today

34. Last time you cried? Movies

35. Who will resend this? Dunno

36. One place that you go over and over? Work

37. One person who emails regularly? Auntie

38. Your favorite place to eat? Delia's

Let me know if you play along so I can check out your one-word answers.

Thursday Thirteen #215

Here's a golden goodie blast from the past -- one of my favorite TT's from back in 2007. I only made two alterations. The rest of it is still an accurate reflection of what interests me and what I admire, even six years later.

THIRTEEN WOMEN 

I WILL INVITE TO TEA 

WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN

Of course I'll look her up first

 
This TT is inspired by Carly Simon’s song about her late mother, “Like a River,” where she wonders if Mom is enjoying the afterlife, “dancing with Ben Franklin on the face of the moon.” Isn’t that a lovely thought? Instead of waltzing with history’s most famous men on the face of the moon, I’d like to celebrate my arrival in Heaven by having a celestial tea party with some of its most famous women.

My guest list includes First Ladies, writers, movie stars, an aviator and a princess.

1. Jackie Kennedy Onassis. I’d like her to share how she handled all that with her dignity, strength and integrity in tact.

2. Lady Bird Johnson. A woman of means and intellect, she worked tirelessly toward building LBJ’s career. Yet she lived nearly 35 years after his death. What was that like? Her husband was gone, her children were grown, the spotlight had moved on … Was it lonely, or peaceful?

3. Eleanor Roosevelt. She received so much ridicule during her lifetime! She was ugly. She didn’t know her place. Her voice was grating. Yet today she inspires people all over the country – from friends who have her quotes pinned to their office bulletin boards all the way to Hillary Clinton. She even has her own statue at the FDR Memorial. Do the respect and adulation she receives now, posthumously, help assuage the hurts she endured in life?

4. Mary Lincoln. She once said that she did “the wrong things well.” As she’s watched women’s roles change, century by century, does she wish she lived in a later generation? She certainly would have had an easier time. But then she would not have been right there, with her truly great husband, during a critical time in history.

5. Elizabeth Edwards. I have mentioned many times that Elizabeth Edwards' first book, Saving Graces, had an enormous and very real impact on my life. She looked at life, love and loss with searing, unsparing honesty, and inspired me to find "solace and strength from friends and strangers," to accept help from those who love me. She was a brave lady, indeed, and I'd like to thank her.

6. Nora Ephron. Playwright, screenwriter, essayist, and cook. I began reading her in Esquire when I was still in high school and she taught me through her writing and by her example. She's the big sister I think I deserved. I’d just like to express my gratitude for the entertainment I have enjoyed and the thoughts she provoked. And let her make me laugh again.

7. Louisa May Alcott. She gave us the March sisters, thereby influencing every woman I know. Shouldn’t that have been enough? No, she was a suffragette and the first woman to vote in Concord, MA. She was an abolitionist who hid a slave in her home. All this, and she died at the tender age of 55.

8. Nancy Dickerson. Before Katie Couric, before Barbara Walters, there was Nancy Dickerson. She was the only woman I remember seeing on the news when I was a little girl in the 1960s. I used to look forward to her appearances because she was so rare – like the okapi at our local zoo. She covered Washington for NBC and got real stories, not fluff pieces about food or fashion. What was it like to be one of the first chicks in the boys’ club?

9. Marilyn Monroe. Her celluloid image is joyous, fuzzy and funny. Her personal life has become a tragic cautionary tale. How could one woman embody two such divergent personae? What was she really like? And do Madonna’s and Anna Nicole Smith’s lame imitations annoy her as much as they do me?

10. Katharine Hepburn. One of a kind. Not simply the first, but the only. The Great Kate. I might be too intimidated to speak to her. But that’s OK, I might not have to. She used to joke that she was her favorite subject, that she found herself endlessly fascinating. I – and much of the world – agree.

11. Amelia Earhart. WHAT HAPPENED? Was it an accident, or did you stage it to escape your marriage? Were you a spy? Did you enjoy an idyllic life on an island for decades? (I hope so). C’mon, spill it. It’s OK, it’s just us girls.

12. Princess Diana. I don’t know why she touches me so, she just does. I’d find it comforting to see that she’s happy and at peace. Besides, if I’m going to have tea in Heaven, I want a royal there.

13. Anne George. It would probably amuse this soft-spoken little lady to be included among these firebrands and fashion plates. Ms. George wrote the charming Southern Sisters mystery novels. Her style was engaging and real. She gave us a pair of sixty-something heroines – Mouse and Aunt Sister – who loved their families, their pets, the South, solving crimes … oh, yeah, and one another. (Even though they bickered about a certain Shirley Temple doll at least once per book.) She only wrote 8 of these slim, adorable volumes, and I’d like her to enchant me with just one more Southern Sisters story.

For more about the Thursday 13, 

or to play along yourself, click here.

Silence is so NOT golden

Finally got a nice, long email from my best friend. My first of any consequence/content since March 8! I was so happy I almost hugged my laptop.

Why has he been so quiet? It's just as I suspected, which is better than what I'd feared.

On March 1, he entered his seventh month of unemployment. All the leads have dried up. He's volunteering at his daughters' private school, helping them revamp their marketing materials. As he wrote, "It gets me out of the house and gives me the opportunity to interact with people." Beyond that, he says he has nothing to say. That made me sad. I remember when we used to compare notes about everything -- news of the day, his daughters' varied interests, his dogs, my cats, movies, music ... but his lack of success on the job front is getting him down and he's pulling into himself. That worries me.

He and his oldest daughter are spending next week in New York and Pennsylvania. She wants to check out some colleges and he's taking her. I suspect his in-laws (his FIL is, quite literally, a millionaire), are footing the bill. I didn't ask because, well, he hates taking money from them, though his wife sees nothing wrong with it.* So instead I checked out what's playing on Broadway and recommended shows that might be good for him and his eldest. I was happy and impressed to see how many shows that are now hits on Broadway actually opened here in Chicago.

What I'd feared was that my friend's mother was sick again. Recently she had a panic attack that mimicked heart trouble and her scare scared him.

But no, what's he's dealing with it more garden variety, more typical. Of course, by saying this I'm not diminishing how he's been suffering. Joblessness can be soul numbing. The longer this damn Recession drags on, the heavier its toll.

*His wife isn't evil. It's just that she sees the money as something between her and her father -- they have a very complicated relationship. I just wish she was a little more sensitive to the impact of taking the money on her husband.

It should have had more impact

Today we referenced a specific project that we did in 2009. That's 4 years -- a long time for puppies and an entire lifetime for a hamster, but for an adult, it's not that big a deal. It should have especially had an impact on my most enduringly annoying coworker because the client we worked with died the following year. She has no recollection of him at all.

He was quite a guy. A real gentleman. One of life's unsung heroes -- a Vietnam veteran with 4 children and 7 grandchildren, a man very involved with his community and its young people.

Aside from being irritated professionally, that Miss Annoying just counts on me to remember everything we do here at work, I'm saddened personally that his life didn't make any lasting impact on her at all. They intersected, they worked together, he dropped dead and now it's as though he had never been in her life. I know it's her loss, but still, it leaves me feeling melancholy.

How I'm loving it!

I got the complete set of DVDs, every episode of the original nighttime soap, Peyton Place. And I am completely enjoying it.

When I was a kid, it was like a radio play because when it was originally aired, I wasn't allowed to watch it. Forbidding it made it my little first grade obsession. The livingroom tv was pushed up against the wall, and on the other side of the wall was my bed. If I laid on my bed and stayed very still and quiet, I could make out most of the dialog. This was how I came to know the two sets of characters had inhabited this steamy New England town: The grown ups (Constance MacKenzie, Elliott Carson and his father, Leslie Harrington and my favorite, Dr. Rossi) and the young people (the Harrington brothers, Allison MacKenzie and beautiful bad girl Betty Anderson). Every time we went to the drugstore, I'd run to the magazine rack to see which Peyton Place stars were on the covers. That way I could examine their faces and then imagine them as they acted out their small town dramas on the other side of my wall.

By the second season, the ban had been lifted and I was able to watch with my parents. I'm surprised by how many of the storylines I still remember. Some of it is still new, but the love triangles (Rod/Betty/Allison and Constance/Elliott/Dr. Rossi and Rod/Betty/Steven) are as indelibly, intractably embedded on my brain as cement.

Of the grown ups in the cast, I loved Dr. Rossi most. I thought he had the kindest eyes and I remember him being forever unlucky in love. He was played by Ed Nelson (shown). I wouldn't say I had a crush on him -- that wouldn't be accurate. As a little girl, I saw him as the perfect doctor and confidante. The kind of grown up every girl longs to turn to and trust with her secrets.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Meme From Memphis (part two)

 

Have any memories that you’d like to forget? Not many, but a few.

Is there someone you really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
My best friend. He's been awfully quiet lately on his end lately. I miss him and hope he's OK.

Have you ever been called prince or princess? No.

Do you think teenagers are weird? Yes, but I think I'm supposed to. Every generation of teenagers looks weird to adults. It's the natural order of things.

How fast does your mood change? I wish this one would change fast! I'm kind of in a funk these days.

How are you feeling? See above. I'm sure that once I come back from vacation and baseball starts, I'll feel better. I'm always happier when I can watch baseball.

Do you want someone to call you right now? My best friend.

What do you always take with you? My keys.

Is your bed comfortable? Indeed

Would you say you’re an understanding person? I try to be

Are you generally a happy person? Not this weekend, not this month, but generally yes

Who’s in your facebook profile picture with you? Just me and Don Draper. You can get yourself an awesome retro avatar, too, just go to Mad Men Yourself. (Use safari; it doesn't like Firefox.)

Were you single on Valentines Day? Yes

What is the last movie you watched? At the movies: Amour. On TV: Grand Hotel

Do you listen to songs when you’re done? I'm sorry, but I don't understand the question.

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? Depends on whether I have stupidly napped on the sofa earlier in the evening.

Are you talkative? Yes, I'm pretty unstoppable

What are your St. Patty's day plans? I feel bad that I forgot it was this weekend. And here I am, 15% Irish.

Small Victory

I haven't been happy at work. Part of it is that four of us are toiling away in an office designed for two, max. I really can't stand this much togetherness. It's making me crazy!

Another thing that's bothering me is the work itself. We got a new, rather high profile assignment. It's an expansion of what I've been doing for the last (gulp!) eight years, only finally with a budget. It's something I'd normally tear into with the same relish that I approach a ribeye.

Except for my boss.

He had a vision for this that surprised me because it seemed so over-the-top and inappropriate. Our client is a highly conservative, middle American company and I believe strongly that they wanted work that reflects that. I worked on a concept that was sincere and authentic, reflecting what we had done with moderate success for them on a far smaller scale in the past.

My boss was openly derisive. "If your approach is so good," he asked, "why do they only have 4% market penetration?"

Oh, please! Because I never had a budget before! I could have developed the most brilliant campaign ever, but if no one sees it, it can't work!

I couldn't believe my boss was being so bitchy. I was also disheartened that he acted as though my past work was completely MY work -- like instead of being the supervisor who approved everything I did, he was on vacation in Belgium or something.

I tweaked my concepts but stood by them rather stubbornly. He was not pleased.

We had an internal review. He presented his vision with jokes and humor and enthusiasm. Then he got to mine -- which he'd pinned on the bulletin board much higher than my 5'2 frame could possibly reach, so I assumed he was presenting. No. He handed the meeting over to me with no fanfare whatsoever. I thought it was a disaster.

Well, guess what ...

Beginning Monday, we'll discuss how to make MY concept work for Thursday's big presentation. My boss seemed tired when he gave me the news. No praise, of course.

Like I said, it's a small victory.

I like doing my work. I like my client. I just really don't like the agency I work for. I hope the economy gets better ... soon ... so I can leave. Of my own volition. I hate going to work every day to a job I don't like because it feels like the best I can do. It weighs me down. Makes me sad. And makes any other bump in the road feel that much bigger.

Oh well, I'm a little over two weeks away from vacation.

Image courtesy of AMBRO / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Saturday 9: Hakuna Matata

1) Sam is crazy for The Lion King. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Mary Poppins. It was my first movie ever at the theater and it had a tremendous impact on me. I still remember the moment when the red curtains parted and I was transported to the rooftops of London. It began a lifelong love affair with going to the movies.

 

2) The song tells us that Hakuna Matata "means no worries." Is something worrying you right now? The same stuff that's been bothering me for the last six months -- mostly that I'll be laid off before I can pay the costs involved in settling my mother's estate. I will be so grateful when this is over.

 
3) Who is the most optimistic person you know? Usually me, but the last 18 months have been rough. I'll bounce back though!

 

4) Elton John wrote "Hakuna Matata" but didn't record it. Name a song Sir Elton is famous for singing. I don't know how famous it is, but this one is my favorite. 

 
5) Can you play the piano? No, I'm tragically musically challenged.

6) Congratulations! You just won a guided African Safari Tour! 8 days in Zambia and Botswana for you and a friend. All expenses paid, and allowing you access to breathtaking, unforgettable sights. It takes at least 30 hours to get there, and before you go you'll need yellow fever and hepatitis vaccinations and medication to prevent malaria. Are you up for it? Not at all. Sounds like way too much stress for vacation. Can I get the cash value instead?

 
7) There's been a mistake. You really won a 4-night Disney Bahamas Cruise for two. Are you relieved or disappointed that you'll be partying with a guy in a Simba suit on the Lido Deck instead of observing a real lion in the wild? Relieved, I suppose. I know this makes me sound awfully ungrateful, but I don't know that I want to go on a cruise, either. Those cabins look awful tiny and restrictive to me. Can I get the cash value instead?

 

8) Let's bring this back to real life -- do you have any vacation plans? The Spa at Colonial Williamsburg in April. I cannot wait!

 

9) Describe your luggage. Is it durable and high quality? Or are you like Crazy Sam, who has been known to use an Old Navy shopping bag as her carry-on? I have very nice luggage. It's not new anymore, it's rather scuffed, but it's durable. Good luggage is a good investment!

 

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #214

Last week I cataloged everything I consumed and was surprised when someone commented that I "sure drink a lot." In just over 24 hours I had 3 colas, a hot chocolate, a glass of milk and a mixed drink. Add 3 glasses of water and that put me to nine beverages in a day. That got me thinking ... Is that really "a lot?" Quick answer: no.

THIRTEEN FACTS ABOUT HUMANS 

AND HYDRATION

1) Approx. 60% of your body weight is water, and maintaining that percentage is important to maintaining your health.

2) According to WebMD, the average woman loses 72 oz. of fluid every day, simply by living and breathing. For a man, the number is higher: 104 oz.

3) Those figures are averages and do not account for heat or exertion that can result in extra perspiration. On hot days, or on days when you exercise, you naturally just slough off more of your body's natural fluid.

4) It's important that every day you take in at least as much moisture as you expel.

5) If you allow yourself to become dehydrated, your body will have a more difficult time flushing out toxins and transporting nutrients to your nerves and muscles.

6) If you don't replenish the moisture you have lost, it's not uncommon to feel sluggish and rundown.

7) It can also lead to some embarrassing problems -- like bloating, belching and constipation. This is because your digestive system really needs hydration to work as it's supposed to.

8) More serious symptoms of chronically not taking in enough fluid are early-onset arthritis and food allergies.

9) Staying hydrated is important to weight loss, too. While drinking all that soda is unarguably bad for me (Bad Gal!), it's essential that you drink 8 or more beverages a day in order to maintain your metabolism. And a sluggish metabolism frequently contributes to obesity.

10) While liquor and caffeinated drinks are most emphatically not good for you, they are not effective diuretics because they contain more water than they drain, and therefore do "count" as you tabulate your fluid intake.

11) A healthy, hydrated adult should have to urinate every 3-4 hours.

12) You should also never let yourself get very thirsty.

13) Remember, water is not the only way to consume water. Grapes, watermelon, tomatoes, milk, juice, soups ... they all help hydrate you.

And this is one reason why I still love my TTs. I learn so much doing them!

For more about the Thursday 13, 

or to play along yourself, click here.

I Want Wednesday

I want this to be over! The reverse mortgage company contacted us -- they may be willing to do the DIL of foreclosure, rather than let the foreclosure process drag on interminably, if we empty out the house. Good news, right?

You'd think so. Except that my brother-in-law and his friends, who were in charge of emptying the house, didn't do the job 100%. There's a baseboard, a wall mirror, and other miscellaneous junk throughout the house. Now all we have to do is get that stuff out of there. Should be easy, right?

Well, no. My kid sister is upset that her husband has to go back and do this again. Never mind that he and his buds were supposed to do it completely in the first place. I'm trying not to be pissy, but my mom's estate did pay him and his friends to do this and they simply didn't complete the job.

Also, my kid sister now seems to think that the the DIL is a bad idea because they (the mortgage company) is never going to sue us. They may not, true. But the "us" they would sue is really "me" because my kid sister has no money and my older sister is a bitch.

Because my kid sister is so upset, I called her back offered to take care of this all myself. I mean, why not? It might be easier than the agita of dealing with her. But that didn't make her happy either.

I know that we're each mourning in our own way and this is hard on all three of us. What my sisters fail to get is that I'm still carrying a lot of this -- it's still a lot of my daily life. And I'm not enjoying it, any more than they are/would.

A touch of writer's cramp

My federal income tax refund was direct deposited on Saturday! Here with the sequester I was expecting to have to wait forever but no, I got it in less than three weeks. I spent the afternoon today writing checks -- I made an extra mortgage payment, paid down my credit card debt and put some aside for my mom's grave marker. I have felt very bad about her being in an unmarked grave, and with this refund I won't have to wait for the whole estate/mortgage thing to be settled before I can take care of that for her.

Misty water-colored memories ...

Watching The Way We Were again. It's on TCM this afternoon. I am bowled over anew by how much I love Streisand as Katie, and how completely gorgeous Redford was. When did men start manscaping? I think it's our collective loss.

Sunday Stealling

Sunday Stealing: The Meme From Memphis 
(part one)

Be honest, who texted you last? My friend Tom.

Do you sleep with the bedroom door open or closed? Open.

Do you drink tea? Not very often.

Do you have plans for tomorrow? Monday it's back to work and back to the project that's due for internal review on (gulp!) Wednesday.

What’s worse: dry skin or chapped lips? I'm suffering from both right now. I'll vote that chapped lips are worse because at least the maddeningly dry spot between my shoulders doesn't show.

Would you be surprised if Facebook started charging? Charging individuals? Yes. Charging businesses? No.

Would you rather go to Canada or California on vacation? California, because my oldest friend lives there and we had fun when I visited her last fall.
 
How many social media sites are you registered with? Three: Linkedin, Twitter and FB.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants? Jeans

So, what if you changed lives for one day with the last person you texted? That would be Tom, which would mean I'd suddenly be a newly-engaged thirtysomething Cuban American man, instead of a fiftysomething pale-as-paper old chick. I might like having some color to my skin.

Last person you told a secret to? Tom again! Third Tom answer this meme. I told him a secret, but I must confess he didn't care.

What are you listening to at the moment? I've got the TV on.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? I crashed on the sofa. I hate it when I do that.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? Romantically? No. Emotionally? My best friend.

Are you going to any concerts this year? If Bruce Springsteen's tour comes through Chicago again.

Do you believe in Karma? Yes.

The final shot

Just watched George Clooney's Ides of March again. That last shot, where once idealistic Ryan Gosling silently stares into the camera while listening to the candidate's platitudes in his head and wonders what they've both become, reminds me of another final scene …

Michael Clayton, where George Clooney is alone with his thoughts in a cab, wondering what he's become.

Clooney directed Ides of March after working with Tony Gilroy on Michael Clayton, so I don't think the similarity is an accident. I suspect it's an homage. A risky one, at that.

It works more successfully in Michael Clayton because Michael Clayton is simply a better movie than Ides of March. It's about something, whereas Ides of March is at heart just a thriller, so that self reflective last shot feels inauthentic. And Ryan Gosling -- hottie though he is -- is not yet actor Clooney is and Clooney -- hottie though he is -- is not yet the director Gilroy is.

Still, it was an entertaining movie to rewatch and I enjoy Clooney's career soooo much. The boy ingenue who was a supporting character on The Facts of Life has turned into a movie-making presence. The new Robert Redford. (Not that the original Robert Redford is done. His new movie, The Company You Keep, will be in limited release next month.)

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Midnight Train to Georgia
 

1) Have you ever been to the Atlanta? In the city proper? Only the airport. But I have gone from Hartsfield to a town called Braselton, home of the completely wonderful Chateau Elan Spa. I'd love to return there someday (maybe 2015?).

 
2) Do you enjoy traveling by train? Yes. I take the el to and from work each day and enjoy taking short trips by Amtrak. It's relaxing.

 
3) "Midnight Train to Georgia" is Sam Winters' signature number at the karaoke bar. What's your go-to song when you take the mic? I don't have one because I'm utterly tone deaf. So instead I'll share my best friend's favorite karaoke song -- "Friends in Low Places."

4) Do you drink tea? Only occasionally. On mega cold mornings.

5) What's the most recent thing you purchased for your home? A shower curtain liner.

 
6) Are there dishes in your kitchen sink right now?
Yes. Always.

7) Have you ever been fingerprinted? Yes. When I refinanced my condo, the loan officer took my thumb print.

 
8) What was the last check you wrote? To the electric company.

9) What color are your eyes? Green

"More exceptional in every way than you know"

Gulp. That's how my shrink described me as I was walking out the door at the end of our final office session.

It began as a pretty ordinary session. I told her I needed new coping mechanisms. My officemate plays the ukulele at her desk, just feet away from me. When she's not annoying me, she's insulting me ("You couldn't be on What Not to Wear. You don't dress badly enough."). My oldest friend decided we were spending a week together this summer -- in August, Chicagoland's hottest and most hellacioius month -- even though this is not when I want to take off and it's not how I want to spend my time and money. My friend John had us traipsing up and down Randolph Street in search of the "right" place to have a burger and a beer -- even though we passed some perfectly adequate bars and restaurants. It all annoys me. I'm annoyed a good portion of my day. I wake up annoyed, I go to sleep annoyed. How can I dis-annoy myself?

She told me that maybe I'm annoyed not because my reactions are outsized but because the people around me have been annoying. Maybe the problem is the way I'm being treated. I so hate bullies and bullying that I often let people who appear weak and vulnerable get the better of me, and then I'm willing to blame myself completely for the situation. She told me other people's chaotic lives don't entitle them to disregard my feelings.

Then it was time for us to end. Our last session was over. She gave me her cell phone number and told me that within about a month -- after she's settled in her new home/office -- to see if I want to schedule a phone consult.

And then she said it. She's confident I'll be fine because I'm "more exceptional in every way" than I know. Wow.

This all feels very big and important. I just wanted to get it all down. I'll process it some other time.