Woof!

The family living in the one bedroom apartment next door (which is too small for three people) has a dog. And he is barking. I am concerned.

First, because dogs are forbidden in this building and if Puppy doesn't shut up, someone who isn't the dog lover I am will complain.

Second, because in a apartment that size, why is he barking unattended? Clearly no one is home. Otherwise they wouldn't be able to stand it. As it is, I'm worried that something is terrifying Puppy -- I can hear him run from one side of the living room to the other -- and it's not fair to leave him alone like that.

Third, it's too small an apartment for a dog to live in with a family. Not to mention that it's on the fourth floor of a building with no yard. I hope they're only dog-sitting this poor pup and that he doesn't have an unhappy, circumscribed life ahead of him.

It must be noted that I am the only one in this household concerned about Puppy. For not a one of my three cats can be bothered to pick up his/her head and even look in the direction of the noise. Apparently they haven't learned that dogs and cats are sworn enemies.

Thursday Thirteen #124

IT HAPPENED IN MAY
Here are 13 memorable May
magazine covers from Life Magazine.

1922: The Roaring 20's

1937: Jean Harlow gets pulses racing.

1941: Army nurses are our new heroines

1945: Winston Churchill inspired Great Britain and the free world

1957: Italian actress Sophia Loren comes to Hollywood

1959: Hoffa is a controversial Teamster boss

1960: England celebrated Princess Margaret's wedding.

1961: The Kennedys charm Canada

1964: Barbra Streisand is our new star

1965: Skateboarding takes off

1966: Jackie Kennedy rides in Seville

1967: Best-seller In Cold Blood becomes a movie

1968: Movie stars as political activists

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen,
and maybe participate yourself, click here.

Wake up & smell the karma

Behold People Magazine's 1985 Sexiest Man Alive as photographed this week in France.

I forgot how charming she was

I miss Gilda Radner. Not in her movies. They didn't do her justice. Just as Gilda. Like on SNL or here, in her one-woman Broadway revue.

I wasn't expecting this

When it comes to one of my old boyfriends, I have become a voyeur, a la Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window. But instead of peering at him through binoculars or a telephoto lens, I read his wife's Facebook wall.

I don't actually know her. In fact, I've never met her. The two of them met long after he and I broke up and he left town. We haven't spoken in years. Therefore I've been following their tale as though it was the continuing story of Peyton Place, thanks to the fact that I never really loved him. I was fond of him, I was enthralled by him physically, I bear him no ill will and wish him well, but because of the 12 year ago difference between us, I knew I was never going to be his "baby mama" and so could enjoy our relationship for what it was -- a sweet, sexually charged interlude.

Anyway, about 8 months ago, she started posting about how he's wasn't treating her as she felt she deserved to be treated. Yes, they have a now two-year-old boy together, and they have many shared interests, but he (1) wants no other children and (2) isn't as attentive to her feelings as she'd like. She was especially upset that he never buys her flowers on their son's birthday.

I also suspect he hasn't been faithful. Not because of anything she's written, but because I know him. The woman he was involved with back when we were sleeping together kept insisting she was ready for a wedding and babies. I think our unlikely fling was a response to the pressure he was feeling. My guess is there's probably another "stress reliever" in his life.

They are now living apart. I don't know if divorce is certain (and I don't know his side of it because he understands how to establish privacy settings on Facebook!) but she took him off her info page and is asking her friends who can help her maintain her car now. She also thanks her friends for putting up with her these past few months.

Knowing him as I do, and seeing the slice of life she shows me, is all so fascinating to me. I think that one of these days I'll take a busman's holiday and turn this post into a novel.

I Want Wednesday

I want to be more efficient/effective at turning desire into action and results, weightwise. I gave blood today over lunch -- a noble activity to be sure -- but that means today is a day I didn't work out. I must make myself do a little time on the treadmill after work.

As my best friend assured me, I CAN do this!

Frustrated!

"If it's going up to the 12th floor, we'd better use small words." So said my boss at our team status this morning. The 12th floor is where the Powers That Be congregate when the clients review our creative. My boss is frustrated because he's actually been hands-on for this particular project, the first time in a long time, and he's not used to all the changes I've been dealing with week in/week out for the past few years.

But I, too, am frustrated -- frustrated that he said this in open forum. I'm afraid his attitude ("they're heathens when it comes to creative and we have to dumb it down for them") will bleed through to the rest of the team. And that would be a bad thing. For while we all like to fancy ourselves creative geniuses, the fact is, we perform a service. One that our clients pay a pretty penny for.

Imagine you take a shirt to the dry cleaner and you specify "no starch." The kid behind the counter asks, "Really? No starch? You sure?" You repeat, once again, "No starch." How would you feel if the kid starts acting as though you're stupid and you don't know a damn thing about the shirts you wear or the service you're paying for?

I have a healthy ego and I don't like seeing my work watered down. I often believe the changes they make weaken my work and its ability to produce results for them. But I also want to keep this job. Plus, there's a moral imperative here. It's THEIR money. We work FOR them. They deserve to get what they ask for, even if we don't agree.

The sun came up anyway

Richard J. Daley* was Mayor of Chicago from before I was born until I was 21. For 10 tumultuous years we had chaos and Council Wars and then, when I was 31, Richard M. Daley took over. Under his loving care, the city has enjoyed a Renaissance and become a truly beautiful place to live and work, with a patchwork of neighborhood activities and a thriving arts/theater community. (No, it hasn't been perfect; I'm aware of the blind eye he turned toward the corruption around him. I guess that as long as I feel safe I just don't care so much.)

So to me, the word "Mayor" is just naturally followed by "Daley." For me, it's been far more good than bad. Richie Daley has been like a stern, blustery, plain spoken father to us all and I really, really didn't want him to retire. Especially with news stories coming out about Bin Laden's plans for my city. I trusted Mayor Daley to protect us.

Now there's a Mayor Emmanuel. Sounds funny. Yet the sun came up this morning anyway. No human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, or mass hysteria. So I will try to calm down and accept the inevitable.

Oh, I know Rahm can be a dick, just like the Mayor could be. But here's the difference -- no one, ever for a moment, believed that Richard M. Daley had any aspirations beyond City Hall. We all knew that governing this city was the end of his personal rainbow, his legacy. But what of Rahm? Are we just a stop on his way to bigger things and a national profile. I hope not.

And I wish Daddy was still here!


*My fondness for the son doesn't extend to the father, who left me a little skin crawly.

Stolen from Kwizgiver

a countdown from fifteen

[ 15 things that make you smile ]
1) Blue skies
2) The Cubs
3) The Lads from Liverpool
4) My work, when it's going well
5) Going to the movies
6) See my best friend's name in my inbox
7) My cats
8) NCIS
9) Reading
10) Checking my snail mailbox
11) Peanuts
12) Early, early morning and late, late at night
13) Pedicures
14) Massages
15) Hotel rooms

[ 14 things that make you frown ]
1) My belly
2) Being misunderstood
3) Space hogs
4) Mexican food
5) Fox News
6) Racial slurs
7) Ethnic slurs
8) Homophobic slurs
9) Bullies
10) Children running around unattended
11) The Three Stooges
12) Carlos Zambrano
13) Not having change for the vending machine
14) Neglected pets

[ 13 things you see every day ]
1) My cat Charlotte "helps" me with my skincare regimen by sitting on toilet seat and observing keenly
2) My wallet
3) My keys
4) My rings
5) A watch
6) My Lucy-Ethel alarm clock
7) My iPod
8) The el rumbling along the tracks
9) Sears Tower -- OOPS! Willis Tower
10) My cat Reynaldo being naughty
11) My cat Joey enjoying a catnap
12) The news
13) My pink bathmat

[ 12 things you have always wanted to try ]
1) Ballroom dancing
2) Rock climbing -- if I thought I was strong enough
3) A marathon -- if I thought I was strong enough
4) Getting a really nice wig
5) Getting my home organized
6) Crossing Abbey Road
7) Cross country skiing
8) Painting (as in walls, not a portrait)
9) See a live TV show
10) Skate
11) Take a cruise
12) Learn a foreign language

[ 11 objects that mean a lot to you ]
1) My iPod
2) My blue earrings from New Hope, PA
3) My MacBook
4) My quill/ink pot charm
5) Certain photos
6) Cable
7) My books
8) Personal letter from Senator John Kerry, thanking me for my support in 2004 (and signed with a fountain pen)
9) My late grandma's Cubs jersey
10) My late grandpa's ceramic jewelry box
11) My Graceland mug

[ 10 places you have been ]
1) Graceland
2) New York
3) Atlanta
4) Colonial Williamsburg
5) Hot Springs
6) Los Angeles
7) Key West
8) Boston
9) Paris
10) Washington, DC

[ 9 of your favorite foods ]
1) rib-eye steak
2) eggs over easy
3) pizza
4) cheeseburger
5) peanuts
6) cheese
7) chocolate
8) Coca Cola
9) Lox and capers

[ 8 things you would rather be doing ]
1) Wandering through a library or museum
2) Watching the Cubs in sunny Wrigley Field
3) Yammering with my best friend
4) Getting a massage
5) Enjoying a drink and watching the waves
6) Seeing Bruce Springsteen in concert
7) Seeing Paul McCartney in concert
8) Trying on sunglasses

[ 7 things you would take to a deserted island ]
1) Sunglasses
2) Sunscreen
3) Bug juice
4) Tunes
5) Movies
6) Books
7) Plenty of Coca Cola

[ 6 things you wish you never had to do ]
1) Laundry
2) Shop for utilitarian stuff like light bulbs and toilet paper
3) Sit through boring meetings
4) Kill time at the station waiting for the next train because I just missed the last one
5) Make insincere small talk with people I don't really like
6) Have another colonoscopy

[ 5 people that mean the world to you ]
1) My best friend
2) My mom
3) My niece
4) My nephew
5) My oldest friend

[ 4 of your biggest fears ]
1) Being dependent
2) Being homeless/poor
3) Being in a plane crash
4) Enduring an assault

[ 3 words to describe how you feel right now ]
1) Bored
2) Fidgety
3) Itchy (my skin is dry)

[ 2 things you're excited for ]
1) My niece's graduation
2) My best friend's birthday

[ 1 thing you want to say to someone ]
1) It's your life, make it what you want it to be!

Monday Movie Meme

This week's movie topic is all about Farms...Share on your blog movies that are set on a farm, focus on farmers or reference farming in some way, linking back here to the Bumbles.

Gone with the Wind. It was a farm that motivated one of cinema's most memorable heroines. Ashley Wilkes as played by Leslie Howard was a pallid, clueless twit, but at one point in the movie he did actually seem to understand something about Katie Scarlett O'Hara. He told her that there was something that she loved more than him, and he pressed the rich, red earth of Tara into her hand. And then there was the terrific moment when Scarlett hauls off and lets that whiny wench Suellen have it for saying she hates Tara. "That's like saying you hate Ma and Pa."

Bridges of Madison County. Francesca's life on an Iowa farm gets a lot more interesting when a photographer asks her for directions to that covered bridge.

A Thousand Acres. If life on the farm with Dad Jason Robards and daughters Michelle Pfeiffer, Jessica Lange and Jennifer Jason Leigh seems downright Shakespearean, that's because this heartland epic borrows liberally from King Lear. It's the most obscure movie on this week's list, but it's awesome. See it and it will really stay with you. It may not have many laughs, but instead it's got madness and betrayal and incest and cancer and storms ... both emotional and meteorological.

She knows

Heard from my oldest friend today. She updated me on all of the issues in her life, at least as well as she could. Her 21-year-old son's anger/anxiety issues have gotten the best of him again and now her "coffee table has about a dozen holes in it." Her 14-year-old daughter will be receive an hour of school-mandated therapy each week, but she and her brother are clashing constantly and this causes my friend to have panic attacks. She says she's "reallyreallyreally bad right now and just can't talk."

Most disturbingly, she worries about God and why He continues to let her live. In response, I advised that a shrink is one thing and a minister is another, and I sent her a link to the Unitarian Universalist church nearest her. That's the congregation I belong to and, while I still consider myself a devout Christian, I appreciate how UUs' approach life and faith with a maximum of spirituality but a minimum of dogma. Since my friend feels beaten up and under siege a great deal of the time, I think a welcoming and non-judgmental church would be a place to dip a toe back into religion. She needs God in her life and, while I didn't want to lay it on too thick, so do her kids.

The part that felt like a salve was this: "Sorry, dear -- I don't want to dump on you. I just know that you are a safe place to land my neurosis...and I feel incredibly ashamed that I haven't been as good a friend to you as you have always been to me." So she knows, and that's enough for me. I don't feel we need to rehash it. She knows and she values what we have been to one another since first grade.

"You CAN Do This!"

So read the reassuring and supportive missive from my best friend. I've been sharing my health/menopause travails with him in detail and, while I expect much of it is TMI that makes him a little uncomfortable, he has been very generous with pep talks and suggestions. I'm keeping it all top of mind today, the first day of my weaning from Lexapro.

My best friend hopes the withdrawal goes well, but he advises me to stay close to my shrink during this period because he's heard horror stories. He thinks simple carbs are my real enemy (after all, he has observed firsthand that, if I don't pay attention, I go through life with a red Coca-Cola Classic can in my hand), he is glad my gyne didn't prescribe hormones for me because he's not sure they would do me more good than harm, and I need to do at least some cardio every day.

Ok, so this weekend I slacked off on the exercise part. But I did feel like he was with me at Flat Top Grill today. I can't wait to report that, instead of pad thai noodles, I had brown rice, and I passed on pineapple slices for broccoli.

After all, I CAN do this. I know, because he said so. And my best friend can be very wise. He's had to adjust to life with adult onset diabetes and he's done it with innate grace -- and under the vigilant eye of a well-respected nutritionist.


Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This made me happy

"Looocy! You got some 'splainin' to do!"

Overheard at lunch today. From a double-booth filled with laughing girls all under 21 (judging by their eye makeup and the dearth of booze) as they celebrated one of their number's birthday.

I Love Lucy premiered 60 years ago. Before these girls were born. Before their mothers were born! And yet reciting one of Ricky's lines can still get a laugh.

I was glad because, well, I love Lucy. Always have.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "You Can't Be Missed" Meme, Part 2

Cheers to all of us thieves!

16. What was the last thing you did that was totally selfish, yet you feel no guilt? Just about everything I did on Saturday. It was an amazingly lazy day.

17. Tell us about a film fave of yours that we probably have not seen. The Americanization of Emily. Made in 1964, it uses an absurd story about World War II to foretell how absurd Viet Nam would turn out to be. Watched now, it's impossible not to think about our adventures in Afghanistan and Iraq. It makes the point rather neatly that while rank-and-file soldiers and civilians suffer in war, often the powerful flourish. If this sounds too poopy and depressing for you, let me assure you the movie is often charming and sweet. After all, it stars Julie Andrews and James Garner. How can a movie starring Mary Poppins and Jim Rockford be poopy and depressing?




18. When was the last time you kissed someone that you shouldn't have on the lips? It's been so long I can't remember. And how sad is that!

19. When was the last time you cooked something for someone not in your family? When I toiled over a batch of Apple Banana Cupcakes for a Christmas fundraiser to benefit a local animal shelter.

20. When was the last time you danced like a crazy person? Any time I dance. I am not very graceful.

21. When was the last time you just wanted to be invisible? The day that the crazy man in the el station went off on me and called me the "c-word" because I had "no manners." I don't know what I did to set him off because, well, he's a nut. But it was soooo embarrassing.

22. When was the last time you got a gift you absolutely hated? I have received gifts that I've been confused by or didn't want ... but I can't think of anything I absolutely hated.

23. When was the last time you got into a physical fight? (If NEVER, let us know about a time that you got close to a fight.) The almost would be question #21 above. You never know how a confrontation with a crazy person will end.

24. When was the last time you had to sleep with a light on? While I was on vacation in March. I had a wonderful time, but before I went had a vivid premonition that something awful was going to happen to me. I admit it -- I frightened myself into having to sleep with the light (and the TV) on.

25. When was the last time you were under some serious stress? A week ago last Monday. I wasn't feeling well, but still had due dates to meet.

26. When was the last time you watched your favorite movie? In its entirety? December 22, 2007. For it's The Way We Were, and it makes me cry, so I have to be in the right state of mind for it.

27. What song did you most recently downloaded? "Upside Down" by Jack Johnson



28. What would you say is your favorite hobby? Reading

29. What is your favorite thing to do when you hang out with friends? Drink and laugh

30. What would you rather do: shower or bathe with that celebrity that you are crushing on? Bathe. I'm more comfortable when I can't fall, and when I'm comfortable, I can concentrate on the important things.

THS

A rerun about the Baldwin Brothers. I forgot how dishy Alec once was.

The world of preteen soccer can be brutal

My nephew is a geek. At 11, he is very smart, but more comfortable with adults and computers than with most boys his own age. He has a small posse of close friends and he's happy, so this doesn't bother me. He's sensitive and still very much a little boy -- he still sleeps with individually named plush toys. That's who he is and that's fine. He's his own boy and he has to be who he is, and grow up at his own speed, in his own way.

He loooooves playing in the park district soccer league. It's more advanced than school gym class soccer and he's learning moves that has helped in do well in the schoolyard. BUT he's nowhere near as good as the other kids in the park district league and he's not making any friends. According to my mother, who attends his games, he seems nervous on the sidelines, occasionally chewing on a sleeve. And when he was pulled from his last game, she heard one of the boys say, most emphatically, "GOOD!"

My mom is incensed, and hopes that he drops out of the league before the season ends, before he figures out that his teammates don't like him. And she doesn't want him to play again next time (I think there may be a summer league).

I know she's being a loving grandma, but I think she's looking at his life through her eyes. He's a sensitive kid -- I bet on some level he knows he's not as good as the other kids, and he must know the other boys don't huddle around him on the sidelines. Yet he maintains he loves the games and even gets upset if a practice is canceled due to a muddy field. His dad is a great guy but not much of a jock. I think my nephew likes the coaching he receives and the extra practice that enables him to impress the classmates at school, who he cares about more.

I just hope my mom's concerns don't bleed through, and that he doesn't interpret her loving concern as disappointment in his performance. For I don't think he perceives it the way she does, and I doubt he's unhappy with the situation on his own.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: My Best Friend's Wedding

1. Have you ever lost a friend after he/she got married? Sort of. There's a friend I have literally thought of as "my baby." He's 13 years younger than I am and I mentored him at the beginning of his career, when he first moved to Chicago from St. Louis. He's a wonderful guy, a far more gentle soul than he appears. He married in 2008 and moved to the burbs with his wife and stepson and I haven't seen that much of him since. He's always on my mind -- but today he's top of mind because he called out of the blue to stay that they're going to have a baby! So I guess in a way this makes me "a grandma." I'm thrilled. He waited a long time to get married and become a dad (he'll be 40 when the baby arrives) but that's because he's thoughtful and wanted to make sure the time was right.

2. Do you make friends easily? Yes, I'm blessed that way.

3. Do you have many close friends? I think so.

4. Tell us about your oldest friend. You're new here, aren't you? My oldest friend has taken up a great deal of my time and attention and concern over the last year. She is one of those people that shit just happens to. She has troubled children, a checkered romantic history, problems at work, a history of health problems, a house in foreclosure ... She is also my touchstone, the keeper of my secrets, and the one who can make me laugh like no other.

5. Tell us about your newest friend. I suppose that would be Lana. I met her years ago, when I first started this job, but we didn't become friends until last summer. We're both massive Cub fans and were given free tickets by our company last August. The season was a lost cause by that point and we got them because no one else did. We really got to know one another for the first time that afternoon and have spontaneously become closer ever since.

6. Do you hang out with your friends often, or just occasionally when you can find time? When I can find the time, or when they need me. I always try to be available and I love and depend on them all. It's just I also need my alone time. It's how I recharge my battery.

7. What's the furthest you've traveled to visit (or vacation with, etc.) a friend? Last December I traveled 2000 miles to see my oldest friend for her first California birthday.

8. What's the biggest or best thing a friend has ever done for you? My dad died just as the company I was working for was going under. My friend (and, until almost that moment, boss) Ed used the time he spent waiting at the employment office to call people and organize a group to show up at my dad's wake. When I saw them come in, I felt like George Bailey at the end of It's a Wonderful Life -- truly blessed to have friends.

9. What's the worst or most hurtful thing that a friend (or an ex-friend) has done to you? I'm picking this up verbatim from the last Sunday Stealing: Oh, God. This was bad. Judy had been a friend for decades. She accused me of hitting on her boyfriend, and somehow going behind her back to expose their clandestine relationship to her sister. (Her lover once slept with Judy's sister, who considered Judy's relationship with him a betrayal; I don't know all the details because, honestly, I wasn't involved.) An ugly, ugly situation.

BTW, My Best Friend's Wedding is one my favorite movie soundtracks.
I highly recommend it!

Is #1319 qualified to judge?

Today I watched the livestream of jury selection for the Casey Anthony trial.* So much drama on so many levels! Today my heart/attention were captured by a potential juror -- #1319. Her face was never shown but we heard her voice as she responded in voir dire. All we know about her is that she is a single, over-50 African-American woman who --

• Says she would have no problems being on this jury despite religious beliefs

• Loves Farmville

• "Hates" TV news, watches only "cowboys and western movies"

• Has "no friends"

• Never thought about the death penalty before

• Could sentence someone to life in prison and "maybe" could impose the death penalty

• Wants to be on the jury because it's her duty "as a citizen"

Incredibly, she was held over and may be seated.

Huh? What?

This woman sounds more than a little odd to me. No friends, "hates" TV news, loves Farmville and Westerns? (Where does she even find that many Westerns to watch in 2011?)

This case is going to include sophisticated scientific and psychological evidence. Can this woman, who (to our knowledge) has no job or close family ties, put them into any real-life context?

Is she qualified to sit in judgment of the infamous "Tot Mom?" But then, what does make a qualified juror? Will Ms. 1319 balance out someone trendier and more social? Just because this woman looks off-center to me, does that mean her moral compass is off?

I am glad I do what I do for a living -- use words to sell shit -- instead of deciding matters of life and death. For while I don't know if #1319 is qualified to judge Casey Anthony, I admit I'm not qualified to choose a jury. I have so much respect for Judge Perry and anyone who picks up the gavel.


*That was on one window, another window had the Cubs kicking the World Champion asses of the Giants. I love my computer!

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Disturbing

Last night I watched Chaz Bono discuss his transgender journey and I found it unsettling. Not because I have any issue with his decision -- what could be more personal? But because he now reminds me, in facial expressions and vocal inflections, of a friend's husband.

Thursday Thirteen #123

THIRTEEN POSSIBLE REASONS

MY EYELID KEEPS TWITCHING

It's the outer corner, below my brow. Does anyone else notice it? Naturally, the more I fixate on it, the more it twitches. According to the sites I've visited, the twitching may be a result of:

1) Disrupted sleep routine

2) Stress

3) Fatigue

4) Too much time in front of the computer screen

5) A vitamin deficiency

6) Obsolete contact lens or glasses prescription

7) Too much caffeine

8) Pinched nerve

9) Prescription med interaction

10) Spinal disorder

11) Allergies

12) Sudden trauma, like a head injury

13) Pharmacological withdrawal from hypnotics or anticonvulsants

It's one of the least interesting options, but I bet it's #7.

I Want Wednesday

I want to be a juror on the Casey Anthony trial. OK, not really. First of all, I have read so much about this case I couldn't be objective. And secondly, I'd find someone "not guilty" before I would put them to death.

BUT this morning I heard the judge explain to the prospective jurors what would be expected of them: Total sequestration in Orlando for six to eight weeks. An individual hotel room, with all meals provided, as well as laundry service. Movies and cable (but no news) would be provided. There's no court on Saturday afternoons or Sundays, which I'm guessing could be pool time and visiting with family/friends. If it's a good hotel, there's probably a salon/spa on site. And the State of Florida will give them a check for $210/week.

If it wasn't for the icky murder aspect of this, I think it would be a sweet deal. I think at the end of 8 weeks, I'd have a fresh outlook on my own life and maybe -- because I'd be away from friends, family and other distractions -- I'd be in better shape thanks to all those hours at the hotel fitness facilities or the pool.

I knew it!

Shit happens to my oldest friend. Her plate is always full of drama. I knew that if I called and let her know I feel she has undervalued me and my feelings lately, that she would turn around and tell me of some emotional or legal tsunami that has engulfed her family.

And sure enough, she left a message today, letting me know her 21-year-old son was robbed at gunpoint behind their apartment building last night. He's OK -- all the crooks got were his phone and his cigs. But there was much hubbub as she got to meet with Beverly Hills' finest.

I'm sure it was terrifying and awful. I'm not diminishing that. But the events of yesterday, of course, don't explain where she's been for the past week when I was sick. And you know what? It doesn't really matter. This is how she is, how she's always been. I either have to accept and love her as she is, or quit investing this friendship with so much emotion.

As with the weight loss/fitness issues (see below), this really is MY life and I have to take responsibility for the shape it takes.

Buckle your seatbelts! It may be a bumpy few months!

I went to the gyne yesterday and it was an interesting, satisfying appointment. It was good that he heard me as we talked about my weight. Like my GP, he doesn't think it's that big a deal in and of itself ... unless he looks at it in context. After being a consistent weight for six years, I've gained 30 lbs. over the last three. I'm not a linebacker, I'm only 5'2. Thirty lbs. on a frame like mine is, indeed, a big deal.

Since my heart and thyroid are OK, he's pretty sure it's the antidepressants. Which is what my shrink thinks, too. And, after all these years, there's no being certain I even need them anymore.

So he and I agreed that I'm going to wean myself off of them over the next few months. Beginning this Sunday, I'll take one 6 days/week for two weeks. Then 5 days/week for two weeks, and so on. After I take my last pill, we'll revisit how I'm feeling and how we should proceed.

The doctor believes that the fatigue that gets in the way of my working out as often as I should is partly due to the antidepressants, and partly because I need to eat more protein and less pasta. I know the rich tomato sauce that came with my noodles is good for my heart, but I have overdone it.

So now I have a plan, and now I am feeling hopeful and empowered. Let's hope that, come summer, I don't return to feeling weepy and filled with self loathing, like I was when the anti-depressants rescued me.

I don't really want to know

I saw Molly the Cat's "dad" today for the first time in months. He looked fine and was on his usual corner, in front of Starbuck's, next to the mailbox. But alas, he was without Molly. As I bent to drop some change in his cup, our eyes met but I saw no recognition there. I was going to ask how that much loved, well fed white cat was doing, but then I thought ... don't ask if you don't want the answer.

Before 9:00 AM. And with a straw!

Saw the most amazing thing while riding the el this morning. A young man drained his Dunkin' Donut big beverage cup and refilled it with the contents of a beer bottle. He went on to sip his frothy brewski through a straw.

He did not seem drunk. He was well kempt, with the world's biggest and shiniest ring of keys. So I'm hoping he's a janitor who works overnights and was on his way home from work.

But mostly I'm shaking my head.

Movie Monday -- Katharine the Great

Share on your blog your favorite moments, memories or films featuring Katharine Hepburn, linking back here.

Oh, I just love this old girl! And I'm so jealous of The Bumbles for getting to tramp around her old stomping grounds. Because I so completely adore her, it's hard for me to choose favorite performances from her incomparable career. But here are three.

Linda Seton. Holiday. Sheltered, impetuous, good-hearted and loving. We watch her fall in love with her sister's beau, Cary Grant, and wrestle with issues of the heart and altruism and integrity. She's a great girl, a great sister and a great soul mate, and you can't help but cheer and ache for her in this romance.

Tracy Lord. The Philadelphia Story. Spoiled, imperious and destined to be brought down a peg. Like Holiday, this script is based on a Philip Barry play. And as in Holiday, she's paired with Cary Grant, and once again they have great chemistry. And that seductive scene at the pool with Jimmy Stewart ... sigh ... Nice work if you can get it, Kate, you lucky girl!

Christina Drayton. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. While I appreciate it, I don't really like this movie because it's so heavy-handed and dated. But there is this scene. It just slays me every time. Watch Kate watch Spence deliver one of the last speeches of his career. Is she in character? Or is she torn up because she knows how ill her costar is, and how hard this scene is for him physically? Or is she watching her longtime lover tell the world what she's meant to him? I vote for the last option, but that's the romantic in me. She's so beautiful, so graceful, so compelling ... and this most verbal of movie stars is uncharacteristically silent. I think this is the moment that won her a second Oscar.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "You Can't Be Missed" Meme, Part 1

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Which state do you consider to be the most boring state? Iowa

2. If any chef from the Food Network (or any well known chef) could cater your wedding, who would it be? Rocco Dispirito, because I like carbs and his looks

3. What's the last thing you ate that was red? Does catsup on my fries count?

4. Have you ever questioned the sexuality orientation of a close friend? No

5. Everyone loses a friend after some big fight. Tell us about one. Oh, God. This was bad. Judy had been a friend for decades. She accused me of hitting on her boyfriend, and somehow going behind her back to expose their clandestine relationship to her sister. (Her lover once slept with Judy's sister, who considered Judy's relationship with him a betrayal; I don't know all the details because, honestly, I wasn't involved.) An ugly, ugly situation.

6. Have you ever washed an iPod or mp3 player in the washing machine? No

7. Have you ever screamed/yelled angrily at a boss? Yes

8. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Yes

9. Have you ever regretted being in a relationship with someone? Good Lord, yes!

10. Have you ever acted like you understood something when you didn't have a clue? Often

11. Have you ever thought someone must have been insane? If yes, tell us something about the person. My older sister falls victim to uncontrollable rages. This goes way, way beyond a "bad temper." Her last objet de rage was her son. She lunged at him with such ferocity that when he stepped out of the way, she hit the wall with such force she had to go to the ER. He was in his teens and she was in her mid-40s at the time. As one who spent her childhood and adolescence on the receiving end of her storms, I can tell you that they are not normal and terrifying to behold.

12. Have you ever pretended to be younger than what you are? Yes

13. Back in the day, did you ever cry because you were turned down for a date? Literally cry? No. But it hurt.

14. Have you ever (or your significant other) had a pregnancy scare? Yes

15. Have you ever pretended to like someone when you didn't? Almost daily. I work in an office, after all.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Let's Roll

1. Where were you when you found out the bin Laden was killed? How did you find out? I heard it from David Gregory on NBC. I was home, battling a touch of food poisoning. As awful as I felt, it was comforting to know Al Queda felt worse.

2. One of your best friends turns out to be saying hurtful and untrue things behind your back. What would you do? I suppose I could ask Navy Seals Team 6 if they'd like to get the band together ...

3. You instantly become a star. What is it that made you one? The tale of how I win the Lottery, invest in the Chicago Cubs and guide them to their first championship in more than a century.

4. If you could be ANY sex symbol (living or dead) who would it be and why? Padma Lakshmi from Top Chef. She's beautiful, smart, talented ... and the best men I know think she's to die for.

5. Where is your favorite place to eat out? Monk's Pub at Lake and Wells

6. Are there any current (that began before 2010) television shows out there that you've watched regularly from the very beginning? No

7. When is it time to just let it ('it' can be whatever you choose) go? How do you know? What do you do? I don't "do" anything about. One day it will just wash over me that "it" doesn't matter anymore. For me, it happens as a matter of course. Like the old Buddy Holly song, "You go your way and I'll go mine, now and forever till the end of time ... and you won't matter anymore."

8. Pimentos-- in Olives? Useless decorative effect? ...or something you maybe enjoy? ...and is there something you can only stare at and wonder about at the snack bar? I don't believe I've ever eaten a pimento. But then, I'm not a big fan of olives.

9. Why do you think we as a civilization can't seem to get along with one another? Because we just can't accept one another as we are and embrace our differences.

Done in plenty of time

My best friend's birthday is next month and his gift is already complete! First I got him a pewter horse shoe during my trip to Colonial Williamsburg, and today his pewter pine cone arrived. Over the years I have given him a four-leaf clover, an acorn and a turtle for luck and he's been very good about carrying them with him. This year, to mark his landmark 45th birthday, I got him TWO more lucky charms.

I like it that he'll have more than my will and his good karma protecting him as he enters the second half of his life. Can't wait to get them into his hands!

A reason to smile

Not only did Sir Paul and Nancy Shevell announce their engagement, I got the best email almost immediately after the word hit the streets.

From my friend, John:

LOVE ME DO

Age appropriate and accomplished.
The only way the news could be better is if it was you.

Hurt

I was sick on Sunday night and Monday. Really sick. Sweats and nausea. Headache and cramps. It was vile.

And, since we are busy at work and I couldn't afford the time off, I went in at 3:00 and shepherded a project through for a Tuesday afternoon presentation, which I aced even though I was fortified only by saltines and gingerale.

I have felt better each day and my rapid recovery has lifted my spirits enormously. I'm not saying I'm a hero, but within the parameters of my life, this has been a big deal. A very big deal.

On Monday afternoon I felt weepy and called my oldest friend. She has worked with doctors for decades and has a medical background herself. I initially wanted to know if I should continue taking my prescription meds or if they would be too trying for my poor gut. When she didn't pick up, I left a long, rambling, weepy voicemail about how I don't care about anything or anyone anymore because I'm so sick and feel so lousy, and please call and tell me what to do about my meds.

That was Monday at about 3:00 (1:00 her time). I still haven't heard back from her. This hurts me.

I have worked very hard to be there for her and honor the decades we have known each other. I know she is struggling these days and my heart goes out to her. I just wish that, when my heart goes out to her, she'd be a little more gentle with it.

I don't know what to do. My instinct is to call and tell her how hurt I am, but I suspect she won't pick up and that really hurts more. She's not working, on physical therapy, and could certainly find some time to call me back. I'm also afraid that if I do that, I'll find out that something else is wrong. My oldest friend has that kind of life -- shit happens to her.

And then, somehow, the call about how hurt I am will turn around and become a call about how much more trouble she's having. Which will, in turn, hurt and frustrate me.

Oh, well. Maybe I just have to grow up. This is how she is, how she has been for years. I have to accept and love her as she is and try to get over all this, "I me me mine" that I'm spewing in this post.

(Ouch! I'm still not well enough to use the word "spew" without wincing.)

Image: Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Thursday Thirteen #122

JUST IN TIME FOR MOTHER'S DAY --
13 REASONABLY-PRICED FRAGRANCES

Mother's Day is this Sunday. According to Forbes, the average mother will receive gifts and cards worth $37.14 per kid this year. To help you select a gift for your own mom, here are 13 of the best-selling fragrances available at Target for less than $50.

1) Halle by Halle Berry

2) Miracle Forever by Lancome

3) Chloe

4) Casual by Paul Sebastian

5) Love & Glamor by Jennifer Lopez

7) Sung by Alfred Sung

8) Jessica McClintock

9) Nude by Bill Blass

10) White Diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor

11) Design by Paul Sebastian

12) Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden

13) Curve Crush by Liz Claiborne

PS While my own mom has a fondness for fragranced, moisturizing body lotions, she has enough in her bathroom and on her vanity to last her a good long time. So instead I got her a "brag bag," a canvas shopping tote, personalized with a photo of her grandsons.

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen, and maybe participate yourself, click here.