Of Reynaldo and Rosemary

I'm riding the rails as I update this, on my way downstate to meet with my client in their offices. I'm happy for the private time to finally post something.

I've got two loved ones on my mind. One has fur. The other doesn't.

Reynaldo is my skinny beige demon. Ever since last month's trip to California, I've been working very long hours and this has triggered his old separation anxiety. When I am home, he seems to feel we must be interacting. And so he yowls and rakes my hair with his claws and knocks things over and is generally an unrepentant pain in the ass. It got so bad Sunday afternoon that I actually went out, just to get away from him.

He's no longer a kitten. Rey is now 11 years old, so this is not something he's going to outgrow. I've discussed this at length with the vet and we have ruled out any physical cause for this exasperating behavior. He's just Rey. I could try having him shot up with hormones again -- that worked with great success in Summer 2013, when he was extraordinarily destructive -- but I don't want to do that until/unless I absolutely have to. The shots are expensive and who knows what the long term ramifications of hormone injections could be?

The vet says Rey is "aggressively possessive" of me, that we are "unnaturally bonded." And he's also very, very routine oriented. So when his dinner dish isn't on the kitchen floor by 7:00 PM, he freaks out. So I know that in his own little plum pit shaped mind, Reynaldo isn't being bad. He's compelled to act out because he's worried about me and frightened by his disrupted world order. I must be more patient.

Rosemary. My cousin is now retired and wants to come up and spend time with me. I should be happy about this, since Rose has loved me forever and when I was a teenager she was not only a wonderful role model, she was my #1 advocate within the family.

But here's the thing: Rose is a devout Catholic and her divorce of about 12 years ago devastated her. She truly never, ever thought this could possible happen to her. It rocked her world enormously and left her harsh, impatient and intolerant. I truly cannot be around her for more than 4 hours or so at a crack. Her constant carping over everything (Why do I carry such a big purse? Why do I have a shower radio; it's stupid to spend that time in the shower. How can I NOT shop at Costco? How can I waste my time with the news when it's all so sensational?) leaves me depressed, on edge and sad.

So, when she said she wanted to stay with me over Memorial Day, I concocted an elaborate lie. My friend from California is coming in (she's not) and my friend from the Keys is meeting his friend here in Chicagoland and wants to have a reunion (also not true). I explained to Rose that I didn't know what I would be doing when that weekend, so it was difficult to make plans. She was very understanding. I thought I was off the hook.

What I forgot is that she's retired. She doesn't have to be in the office on the Tuesday after Memorial Day. So she wanted to know if she couldn't stay with me the following weekend.

AAARGH!

So I lied again. I told her I'd probably have to work that weekend and that California and Key West still hadn't committed to dates/times for their visits. She was so nice, so understanding. She said she completely understood and that, maybe, when this crunch time at work is over, we can meet somewhere for a "girls' getaway."

Her kindness made me feel even more guilty. I hate lying to someone who loves me.

I think I'm on the verge of a universal truth here. When someone loves us, they have a hold on us and we have a responsibility to them -- whether they have fur or not.

Sunday Stealing

CAPS LOCK Meme

1. YOU HAVE 10 BUCKS AND NEED TO BUY SNACKS AT A GAS STATION. WHAT DO YOU GET? A Coke and chips. Or maybe Cheez-It Crackers.

2. IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD BE? A cat. But only if I had a life like the ones I've given my cats. I hate thinking about the fear and hardship strays suffer.

3. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD? Like all right thinking Americans, I love Lucy.

4. WHAT DO YOU ORDER WHEN YOU’RE AT AN I.H.O.P. OR BREAKFAST PLACE? On Saturday I went to the local coffee shop and had a 2x2x2 -- 2 scrambled eggs, 2 sausage links and 2 slices of french toast.

5. LAST BOOK YOU READ? Remember Me Like This. It's an intense novel about what happens to a family when their son, who had been kidnapped, is returned to them after four years.

6. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? True Story, starring James Franco and Jonah Hill. Also very intense.

7. DESCRIBE YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF UNDERWEAR. White cotton. I believe they are commonly referred to as "granny panties."

8. DESCRIBE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE INJURED. I twisted my ankle. It hurt.

9. IF YOU COULD INVENT ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE? A way to know if the washer/dryer are free without having to climb four flights of stairs to the laundry room.

10. ROCK CONCERT OR SYMPHONY? Rock concert

11. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE? Didn't set it.

12. FAVORITE SODA? Coke

13. FLAVOR OF PUDDING? Tapioca

14. WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE A PEDICURE OR A MANICURE? Pedi

15. ANY BUTTONS OR BLINKIES IN YOUR SIDEBAR? I believe you can check that out yourself.

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE ON YOUR BLOGROLL? Ditto

17. WHAT’S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BOUGHT? I just answered this for Saturday 9, so instead I'll share that I just hemmed the second-to-last piece of clothing I bought. Navy slacks.

This was SO great

Kris Bryant connects for first career HR, returns to empty dugout

Kris Bryant went deep for the first time Saturday and got the extreme silent treatment. (USATSI)

Our super fabulous rookie third baseman Kris Bryant got his first major league homerun tonight in Milwaukee. His teammates responded in true Cubbie fashion. Instead of congratulating him on what will be the first of hundreds and hundreds of round trippers, they gave him the silent treatment. En masse and in a big way. They all left the dugout.

 

Of course, they all returned in just a moment and hugged him.

 

God, I love baseball. 

So I took a nap

Oh, yes I did!

I'm going through one of those periods when it feels like my life has gotten away from me.

It's been crazy busy at work, as it will be in advertising. As Hyman Roth said in Godfather II, "This is the business we've chosen." If I can't handle the stress, I should do something else. But lately the stress isn't about the work, it's the drama.

The New Girl is back at work and really working -- hard, if not efficiently. She apologized for her meltdown and I'm trying to let bygones be bygones. But we are about two weeks off schedule, and September ineffably comes after August 31, regardless of her unscheduled four day weekend in May.

The tension is exacerbated by our "open work space." There are four of us in this tiny space. My most annoying coworker continues to be annoying. When I tried to take the lead -- because, let's face it, she's lazy -- she snapped at me that she knows her job and is thinking about it all the time. Yes, she knows her job but no, she's not thinking about it all the time. I have to prod her. And she gets pissed, and then there we are, stuck together in this tiny space. WALLS! I NEED WALLS!

My boss seems upset with me, too, though I don't know why. I think it may be because he needs me on this project. I don't know. I don't care, actually, except that again I feel so pitilessly exposed and am unable to get away from the agita.

So I haven't been working out at lunchtime and I haven't been getting home until 10:00 or 11:00 at night. This leaves me feeling depleted. I've been missing Sinatra. I'm reading this massive biography of him -- 800 pages and it only takes us through the mid-1950s -- and it's left me feeling immersed in his life and his music. (If you like biographies, I really recommend this one.)

My home is a mess. My finances are a mess. My skin is blotchy and my waist is non-existent.

And so today I haven't done anything I haven't wanted to do. I enjoyed a nice coffee shop breakfast with Francis Albert and then I took a long nap and watched a little baseball and a lot of Columbo. And now I feel better.

I may even take a gay, madcap stab at organizing the sea of paper on my dining room table.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Harper Valley PTA (1968)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's featured artist uses her middle initial (C. for Carolyn) all the time. Do you use your middle initial very often? Only when I write checks, and that's something I seem to do less and less each month as more of the world goes online.

2) In this song, a mother tells off the local PTA. What's the most recent school event you attended -- whether as a parent, a teacher or a student? I guess it was my nephew's 8th grade graduation, more than a year ago.

3) The lyrics reference the mom's miniskirts, which were trendy in the 1960s. The website Popsugar reports that gingham checks are trendy for 2015. Tell us about the most recent addition to your wardrobe. Navy wedge pumps at DSW. For when I need to look like a grownup.

4) Thinking of moms, Access Hollywood named Carol Brady of The Brady Bunch TV's #1 mom. Who is your favorite TV mom? She wasn't TV's most conventional mom, but I'll go with Lucy Riccardo. She loved and encouraged her little boy.

5) Mother Winters always gave Sam peppermint tea to calm her stomach. Do you have any tried-and-true home remedies to share? Ginger ale and saltines for tummy trouble. I got that tip from my own mom.

6) Sam's mother always tips 15% in restaurants. Sam has worked in food service and is more judgmental, tipping between 10% and 25%, depending on the quality of the service. What's your tipping policy? Are you more like Sam or her mother? I'm more like Mrs. Winters -- 15% to 18% almost all the time.

7) When the tip of her shoelace becomes frayed, Sam's mother snips off the end and then paints the tip with clear nail polish. Good as new! Sam thinks that's crazy because you can just buy new laces for less than $2. Are you more frugal like mother or spendthrift like daughter? Let's face it -- I'm terrible with money.

8) Mother Winters loves how french vanilla smells and burns her Yankee Candles all year around. Do you use scented candles or air fresheners? Always. Right now it's Lavender and Chamomile in my livingroom, bathroom, and walk-in closet (where the litter boxes reside).

9) Sam is celebrating Mother's Day with her mother's favorite, Hershey Bars. Would you prefer classic milk chocolate, dark chocolate or chocolate with almonds? Milk chocolate with almonds, please.

So she's nuts

Here it is, Sunday night, and I'm watching Mad Men. I cannot begin to explain how much this show has come to mean to me. It's got the advertising business down so cold it gives me chills. And the fact that it's on Sunday, when I have to get up tomorrow morning and go through the lookingglass from Madison Avenue 1970 to New Millennium Michigan Avenue is oh-so fitting.

Tomorrow is going to be very weird. For The New Girl will be back in the office after a long, 4-day weekend. After a massive meltdown.

I won't go into detail. What brought her to the brink is too inside baseball for this blog and going over it again will just upset me. But just about everything I was so worried about occurring has. On Wednesday, when it all came to a head, she snapped at me twice and really tore into her staff, loudly complaining that their performance is "unacceptable" and that now the client is "way up her ass." The New Girl really shouldn't talk to people the way she did Wednesday, but that's just the tip of the iceberg.

The bigger problem is that nothing of consequence had been done on The Big Project (and all its ancillaries) since before I went on vacation on April 17th. I think the New Girl is overwhelmed and embarrassed by her inability to proceed, so she's lashing out.

She missed a big meeting on Thursday morning, a kick-off so that the creative team could finally start working, because a pipe at her mother's house burst.* She's only been in this job for a month. It made more sense for her mother -- who is healthy and has her wits about her (she works for a custom closet designer) -- to stay home and work with the contractor. Michelle knew we were all waiting for her, depending on her.

Then she took Friday off, a personal, "get out of town" day. She left word through her staff that she wouldn't be available, not by email/voicemail. After barely a month as a director for a major ad agency, with a client that's not only in the Fortune 500 but the Fortune 50, and she takes a personal day? She must be nuts.

Now with my boss' permission I got the team working on The Big Project on Thursday morning. But The New Girl doesn't know that. As far as she knows, we lost two days that we couldn't afford to. This work has to be completed and in customer's homes in September. September isn't going to begin two weeks late because The New Girl fucked up.

What was she thinking?

She's not thinking. She's nuts.

I have to get my mind right for tomorrow. I have to act as though nothing is wrong, no matter how deeply I resent the way she first melted down and then bailed on us when she has responsibility to the client and project. I have to try to recapture the enthusiasm I had for working for her ... you know, before I knew she was crazy.

And, just to put it in perspective, she's still better than The Chocolate Covered Spider.

*She's living with her mother in a rather remote suburb. 40, broke and living again in her old bedroom in her widowed mother's house.

Sunday Stealing

Anyday Meme

1. What is your dream career, and what path do you plan to take to get there? I think perhaps the next step in my career is to be a catsitter. To do that, I'll have to make enough money at my advertising job to retire and then I'll supplement my 401(k)s and IRAs by playing with neighborhood critters. There's a group called NAPPS that can help me do this ... one of these days.

2. Who do you aspire most to be like? Oh, golly, so many women! In fiction, there's Miss Melly

Strong, graceful, inscrutable Jackie

Wilkes from Gone with the Wind. She's smart and strong but also kind, and she works to believe the best in people. In recent history, there's my all-time idol, JBKO. She lived through so much, endured so much, and ultimately triumphed by being true to herself. In real life, I admire my friend Barb for the way she's managed to maintain a work/life balance, concentrating on her career while building a happy home with her husband.

 3. What do you like in a best friend? Availability. The older I get, the more I appreciate friends who are willing to be present, to put the time in. There are so many demands on our time, so many distractions. Seldom does a week go by that I don't hear from my dear old friend John or my oldest friend in California, and I'm grateful that they believe our relationships are worth the effort.

4. Do you currently have any squishes (people you really want to be best friends with)?  Maybe I'd like to be closer to Joanna and Martha from my classic movie group, or maybe I prefer seeing them monthly and keeping it light ...

5. What is your ideal platonic relationship? I suppose it would be John (question #3) because I've learned so much by knowing him. At first glance, we're complete opposites. He's black, I'm white. He's gay, I'm straight. He's tall, I'm short. He's a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock and roll. (Just wanted to see if you were still reading.) And yet we're so comfortable with one another. So we can exchange our views about sensitive topics without offending. Or, if we don't feel like being heavy, we can just blab about the Cubs or what JLo wore on American Idol. I really treasure this.

6. Best late night IM/phone conversation story. I fell asleep one night while listening to my friend Ed. I'm not proud of this. I'd had dental work that day and was more than a little woozy from the anesthesia. I blamed it on the phone lines, saying the extension in my bedroom came loose from the wall and cut us off. If he knew I was lying, he was too polite and kind to bust me.

7. List one person you’d like to wear the sweater of, one person you’d like to bake cookies with, and one person you’d like to drive around and get lost with. Sweater: Mika Brzezinski from MSNBC's Morning Joe. She layers a lot using cardigans and seems to have an unending supply. Baking: my niece. She's just about done with culinary school and I want to see her in action. Car ride: Kevin Spacey, because he's so neat.

8. Describe your current best friend(s). See #5

9. What is a strange, little-known fact about you? I once won $500 in a movie trivia contest run by The Chicago Tribune and the late Gene Siskel

10. What is a career you wanted to have when you were younger, and still kind of want to have now? I got nothing for this one.

11. If you could have tea and pleasant conversation with one person, who would it be? The Queen. I mean, who wouldn't love to have with HRH? We could talk about her new great granddaughter.

12. If you had a time machine, what era would you go to? Either the 1860s or the 1960s.

13. What celebrity or historical figure would you love to have as your best friend and why? I always wanted the late Nora Ephron as my older sister.

14. What fictional character would you love to have as your best friend and why? Miss Melly from Gone with the Wind. See #2. Oh, and she'd be especially handy to know if I time travel to the 1860s.

15. If you could have one wish, what would it be (cannot be related to romance or sex)? More wishes

16. If you were trapped on a deserted island and could only take one item, what would it be? iPod (and a power source)


17. If you could pick one career other than the one you are pursuing/plan to pursue, what would it be? See #1


18. What is your best memory you have with a friend? So many! One that comes to mind is New Year's Eve in Key West. At the stroke of midnight I hiked up my skirt and ran into the warm waters of the Gulf while my dear friend stood on the shore, laughing affectionately. It seemed like a good way to ring in the New Year.

19. Do you have any peculiar interests that most people don’t know about? If you read this blog regularly, I think you know it all.

20. What were your favorite childhood toys? Do you still have them? My Lassie dog went with me everywhere. She's still with me, up in my closet somewhere.

21. Favorite baked good? I'll be happier if it involves chocolate.


22. If your best friend were here right now, what would you do with them? Hug

23. Who would you love to play video games with? Coop and Rolling Thunder. Sheldon Cooper and Stephen Hawking. (I'm referring to a memorable episode of Big Bang Theory.)

24. If you could visit any country, which one would it be? Canada. Because I wouldn't have to fly over water.


25. Are there any friends you miss having around? Yes

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Careless Whisper  

1) You can't miss George Michael's gold hoops in the photo above or in the "Careless Whisper" video. Are you wearing any jewelry right now? Not at this very moment. I just took off my earrings because as soon as I'm done with this meme, I'm getting in the shower.

2) Though the label says this hit is performed by "Wham! featuring George Michael," George Michael is the only member of the pop duo who appears in the video. Do you remember the name of the other guy who was in Wham? Andrew Ridgely. Don't these two look gloriously 80s? Can't you imagine the Ewings and the Carringtons dancing around their massive manses to "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go?"

3) Much of the video was filmed on Watson Island, a man-made island near South Beach. Have you ever been to Miami? I've changed planes there several times while headed to Key West. It's not the easiest airport to navigate. Beyond the airport, I haven't seen Miami in decades.
 
4) Born Georgios Panayiotou, George Michael is of Greek descent, the son of the Greek restauranteur in East London. When you think of Greek cuisine, what comes to mind? Lamb.

5) Today he lives in a tony suburb called Highgate, and his neighbors are Kate Moss and Sting. Tell us about one of your neighbors. Pedro lives next door. He's very tall, very good looking, and about 25 years old. Pedro's father made the down payment on the condo (I know because Dad told me so himself when they were remodeling the place). When Pedro brags about his "small mortgage," which he does at condo board meetings, he neglects to mention why. He seems to take his privilege for granted. 

This annoys me greatly, because Pedro wants us to raise our condo association fees as much 15%. Our building isn't home to Sting or Kate Moss. We do have working moms, retirees, people who work retail for minimum wage. Pedro should walk the halls and get to know more of us, and see for himself what a hardship an overnight 15% increase would be.

6) George Michael fans can purchase officially licensed merchandise from his website, including an iPhone cover with his photo and signature. Tell us about your cell phone. Is it Apple or Android? Is it a smartphone? LG, Android and not smart.

7) George Michael sang Stevie Wonder's "You and I" for Prince William's wedding to Kate Middleton. What's your favorite love song? It changes. I'm very into Sinatra these days so I'll go with "I've Got You Under My Skin." Frank and Cole Porter made a very potent team.

"I would sacrifice anything, come what might, for the sake of having you near/in spite of a warning voice that comes in the night and repeats, how it yells, in my ear ..."

BTW, I'm so happy that William and Kate had a healthy baby girl.

8) In 2014, George had a health scare. He was rushed to the hospital for tests and released the next day. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Nope. I don't really want to, either.

9) Known for hard partying in his youth, George is now in his 50s and says he's quite happy to spend his evenings eating takeout and watching DVDs. Are you doing any socializing this weekend? I'm feeling very George Michael this weekend. If I don't speak to anyone, I won't be unhappy. I really need to recharge my battery.

Baby Girl Windsor has arrived!

Depending on your time zone, the Duchess of Cambridge gave birth yesterday/last night/this morning. A healthy baby girl, fourth in line to the throne.

Congratulations to William, Kate, George and Lupo.

This baby news makes me very happy. I watched William grow up. I feel very invested in Diana's boys. I wish she'd gotten a chance to hold her grandchildren.

I'm trying. Really, I am.

The New Girl tells me not to worry. The New Girl tells me that, when it comes to The Big Project (and all its ancillaries), she's "on it." The New Girl reminds me that there are things going on behind the scenes that she hasn't shared yet. The New Girl assures me that, if anything goes wrong, she'll "take the hit."

I have to trust her, she says. I must not worry.

Only I'm worried. We have ambitious creative due dates, and we're not even ready to start, much less deliver, concepts.

While I do trust that, when pitfalls arise, The New Girl will take responsibility, I'd prefer we avoid these pitfalls. And I don't think yet she has the know-how to do this.

Gulp.

I'm trying to remember that worrying will not have any impact on the outcome.

I'm reminding myself that for all The New Girl's faults, she's much, much better than The Chocolate Covered Spider was.

But I haven't been able to convince myself not to worry.

How do people with children do it?

Connie's a quirky little girlcat, fond of hanging upside down and hooking her claws in net (like my suitcase). She's sweet natured and happy and has become a wonderful companion to me, Joey and especially Reynaldo.

Friday I almost did terrible damage to her. She was prescribed antibiotics for her gum infection and I overdosed her. Directly down her throat.

Ashamed, upset and so very worried, I left work early to make sure she was OK. She was. In order for an antibiotic OD to do real harm, it would have to be massive, and this wasn't. It was just a stupid, ugly and dangerous mistake on my part.

So now she's fine, but suddenly Reynaldo is not his usual manic self. I thought having a laid back Rey would make me happy, but it's actually very worrying.

It's probably just a hairball. It's that time of year, you know. I just wish he could tell me what's up.

I missed Frank

I like books. Bound books. With pages. I have a Kindle Fire, and it's fine for reading magazines and answering quick emails, but I don't want it to replace my books!

But I get it in a way. I'm reading this massive (800 pages!) biography of Frank Sinatra and it was just too heavy for my carry on. So I left The Voice behind when I went to Los Angeles, and I missed Frank.

This billboard was right across the street from my hotel, and it made me long for my book. The hotel had OnDemand and I was able to watch the HBO special again at bedtime.

I love reading heavy books about complicated men. In 2013, it was Capone: The Man and the Era. In 2014, it was The Patriarch, about Joseph P. Kennedy. Now it's Frank. Rogues all. (Though it's not fair to Kennedy or Sinatra to equate their undoubtedly darker deeds with the murderous Capone's.) Somehow the battle between their angels and their demons makes them more interesting than reading about a straight-up hero.

The thing about Sinatra, too, is that he was an artist. He's enjoying a renaissance in time for his 100th birthday, and I bet people not yet born will enjoy his music and his movies on his 150th birthday, too. Sinatra's secret seems to be that heard music different and he felt life so very keenly. Love, vulnerability, lust, confidence, loss -- and he poured it all into his singing. He could soar and he could ache, all in the grooves of a record. The downside to that sensitivity was selfishness, anger and regret.

Sometimes as I read, I'm grateful that I'm really not that special. As John Lennon once told Rolling Stone, "Genius is a kind of madness … genius is pain."

"It was a mistake"

So I spent Friday night through Monday morning with my oldest friend. She's certainly not doing well, but she's not doing as badly as I feared.

Since we've known one another since Kindergarten, it makes it easier for her to be real with me. Please note that I said, "easier." It's still not completely easy. For example ...

When I called her from my hotel room on Saturday morning, she said, "Give me an hour and a half. I'll pick you up at 11:00." At 11:00 she called and told me she'd fallen back to sleep and would be there in half an hour.

I was angry. This is my vacation -- a vacation I didn't especially want to take -- and I'm spending it with her. The least she could do is get her fat ass out of bed! Then I told myself to chill. It's only 30 minutes (actually it was 40) and we had no firm, set plans. Relax, Gal! And we did have a nice day, wandering around Beverly Hills. I introduced her to The Paley Center, right there in her neighborhood, which she could visit and enjoy again and again on her own. She needs more activities, more distractions, when she finds herself going down The Stoney End.

Then on Sunday morning I called and she said she'd be over, you guessed it, at 11:00. And she arrived, you guessed it, at 11:45. This time she said she was late because her cat wouldn't eat. It was hard for me to hide how pissed I was. As we had brunch, she confessed ...

With the meds she's on, she can't get up in the morning. Librium is essential to evening out her mood swings but it makes rousing herself every dawn like, "storming the beaches at Normandy." It takes her 2 to 3 hours to get ready for work each day. Her bosses don't mind her getting to the office until 10:00.

But she doesn't like California. At all. She kept referring to the move as "a mistake." Well, it's not one she can undo. Her house here is sold. Her boss here replaced her.

Besides, her new bosses in Tarzana adore her. And if she came back, she'd only be disappointed that the Chicagoland she has so romanticized is a fantasy.

For example, traffic. She says there "are no road closures" in Chicago. That's just silly. Every day I get an office email about this street or that intersection being closed for a festival, or a TV shoot, or a 10K race or a visit from the President or Vice President. She remembers "no road closures" because she never worked in Chicago. She lived in a town called Westmont and worked in one called Oak Lawn (how bucolic is that!) and no, Chicago Fire wasn't filmed there and no, Barack Obama never took a motorcade through there and no, there's no Run to Wrigley through those burbs. The NFL Draft is not taking place in Westmont.

And it still gets cold here. And it still rains here. And Chicago is still 2000 miles from her cousin. (Though her cousin is no support whatsoever.)

Hopefully, when she moves to Tarzana and has a nice suburban existence out there like the one she had here, all will look and feel better.

And no matter what, she'll still have me. That's a lot.

What a wallow for book lovers!

One passion my oldest friend and I have always shared, since we were little girls, is for the written word. We both dreamed of being writers, we both wrote and read obsessively. As women, we both participate in Nanowrimo every year and are always comparing notes on books.

So when I saw there was a massive book fair going on at the USC campus when we were there, I didn't see how we could stay away. And I wasn't disappointed.

Behold USC's Tommy Trojan

I've never been on a campus the size of USC. It gave me pause. I can't imagine what it would be like to be a freshman, away from home, taking in the enormity. Would I be exhilarated? Or overwhelmed?

As it was, on this sunny Sunday, I was dazzled by a sea of booths with white canvas roofs. All filled with books and authors! Chicago has a similar annual event, The Printer's Row Lit Fest (sponsored by The LA Times' big sister, The Chicago Tribune), but it doesn't sprawl through a big campus like this fair does.

I met two authors whose work I have enjoyed, and I acted quite starstruck.

First, Hallie Ephron. I read her earlier book, There Was an Old Woman, and quite liked it. It wasn't the plotting -- I figured out whodunnit rather early on -- but the details that touched my heart. The "old woman" of the title displayed Empire State Building collectibles because she worked there at the time of the 1945 crash (which I'd known nothing about until the book) and a drawer of "get well" and sympathy cards, stamped and ready to go, because that was the reality of her friends' lives at this time. When I told Hallie how memorable those little traits were, how they brought her character to life for me, she said, "Thank you. If I could, I'd jump over this table and give you a hug." She signed a copy of her new book (Night, Night, Sleep Tight) for me.

Then I got to say something that meant a great deal to me. "I miss Nora." Nora Ephron's kid sister smiled and said, "I miss her, too."

Then I met Lisa Scottoline. A NY Times best selling author of the popular Rosato and Associates series about an all-woman Philadelphia law firm. Seriously, she's sold like a gazillion books, and quite a few were sold to me. 

I can't believe this, but I told this rock star of a mystery writer that "next time" she should "add more Murphy." Anne Murphy is my favorite of the fictional lawyers and she's gotten short shrift in Scottoline's recent efforts. "She'll be in the next one," Scottoline assured me. "I've got to give each girl a turn." She didn't sound anywhere near as interested in thoughts as Hallie had been. And why should she be? Do I have brass balls or what?

Scottoline did tell me that the evil sister adventure in Think Twice was loosely based on her own tribulations with a suddenly discovered, rather awful sibling. I thought, "how fascinating." At the same book table were two authors -- one who had a dream of an older sister and one who suffered a nightmare older sister. And then there was me, with my own heinous sister issues.

By the way, Lisa Scottoline looks just as good as on her book jackets and is a slim and stylish 59 year old. Good for her!

Whenever I travel, I always bring back something for the team at the office. Because we had such fun at the LA Times festival, I chose these matchboxes, each one bearing the cover of a classic book. I disposed of the matches before I checked out of the hotel. I can't imagine how the TSA would respond to someone trying to board with more than 300 matches in her carry on.

The Hills of Beverly

I went out to the West Coast to visit my oldest friend. She's been suffering a lot lately, her moods rising and dipping precariously, and she doesn't feel like she has much support. So I played cavalry and rode out to her side.

This is quite possibly the last time I'll visit her in Beverly Hills. My third trip out to see her since she moved, and I've never seen Rodeo Drive. I've never dined at The Ivy. I've never seen what makes Beverly Hills the golden ideal to so many. I told her we were spending one day in her neighborhood, taking it all in. She feels no connection to the neighborhood she lives in, so it was a revelation to her.

First, Rodeo Drive. Big fucking deal. Didn't see anything here that I couldn't find on Chicago's Magnificent Mile. Oh well. Now I've been here.

Now the Paley Center for Media was cool. It's a museum/research facility devoted to TV. There was an exhibit devoted to Survivor, which I couldn't have cared less about. But I really got my geek on when we came to The Soboroff Typewriter Collection.

I got all squeally when I saw the typewriter John Lennon pecked away at as a teenager, living with his Aunt Mimi. Then there was the one Carolyn Wirt Keene used to compose the original Nancy Drew books. How many generations of girls learned to love reading on the pages that came from her machine? Ernest Hemingway, Truman Capote and Tennessee Williams were represented, too. I even saw a page from Tennessee's original manuscript for The Glass Menagerie displayed with the machine that created it.

By far my favorite was this one, the Underwood where Charles Foster Kane got his start. I adore it not only because I'm a big classic movie fan. Look at that typewriter case! (I checked, and the Hotel de la Tremoille is still open and still providing its guests with luxury accommodations.) I came away thinking that we've lost something, now that we're all on PCs and Macs. These new word processors have neither the charm nor the gravitas of these gorgeous old typewriters.

Then we went to dinner at The Ivy. Ever since Jennifer Aniston made a point of eating there, proudly visible outdoors and in the open, after Brad dumped her, I've noticed how often The Ivy turns up in People and Us. Bruce Willis and George Lucas seem to dine there a lot. So does Khloe Kardashian. In my midwestern head, the white picket fenced Ivy has become synonymous with Beverly Hills.

It's a nice little restaurant. More casual and more family friendly than I expected. I saw kids there,
and I did not feel under dressed in my gray capris and navy Polo. But it is luxurious. As soon as you arrive, the waiter offers you champagne. Gratis. And it's good stuff, too, not Asti. Those are fresh flowers, too.

As you can see, the tables are awfully close together. If I'd had Jen and Courtney Cox's girltalk to eavesdrop on, I wouldn't have minded. But instead we got a middle-aged couple on a first date. She was a recent and very stylish Russian émigré and he was working overtime to impress her, telling her over and over how much nicer Miami is than Los Angeles. My oldest friend suspects she may have been an escort, but I'm not so sure. Why would a john care what a sure thing thinks of him?

I had the lobster pizza, and it was very good (though I'm not sure white pizza is really pizza at all), with a very generous side dish of sauteed spinach. My friend had a pasta dish and was pleased with it, too. On the way out, we got a small box of six very good chocolate chip cookies, fresh from Dolce Isola, the Ivy's bakery. Just their way of thanking us for stopping by. 

So while there are restaurants in Chicago where the cuisine is just as good, and just as expensive, you don't have the TMZ bus tour driving by. It was a delicious little bit of glamor and I'm glad I finally got to enjoy it.

Flew out with Gibbs, flew home with Adam

Have you seen the E-trade commercial where Kevin Spacey congratulates "Type E" traders for having the insight to know when a trend is soooooo over? As he speaks to the camera he walks purposefully through a store and stops to pick up a portable DVD player, blowing dust off the box. I figured that if DVD players were now the punchline of financial services spots, I'd better get one while they're still available. Plus, the new MacBooks no longer have disc drives. I can read the writing on the proverbial wall.

And so I got myself a charming little Philips DVD player with a 7" screen. That way my handsome TV boyfriends could distract me from the terror I undoubtedly would feel as I made the long trek from ORD to LAX and then back again.

Because I freak out when I fly, I squirrel out over things that don't matter. On the 17th, I was worried that my seatmates would judge me harshly for my low-tech electronics and my decidedly uncool viewing choices. I needn't have worried ... and not just because I've found that no one is really watching me as closely as I think they are when I embarrass myself.

Going to LA, with Gibbs to keep me company, I was on the aisle. My seatmates were a young couple. He had the window seat, she was in the middle. After I buckled myself in, I glanced at the view out the window and that's when I saw what they were doing. He was either picking something out of her hairline or, worse, squeezing a zit. And I was embarrassed by my passion for NCIS?

Coming home, I chose Adam Cartwright to occupy me. I had a window seat. This time I was flying with a pair of young adults who were en route to a band competition in Chicago from their home in Japan, or maybe China. At any rate, they spoke no English whatsoever. They filled with overhead with their instruments (I could tell one was a saxophone), leaving precious little room for my
little overnight bag. They made us late at take off because they didn't understand about not using their phones during the flight. I tried not to let my exasperation show, since I wanted to present the best image of Chicagoans I could. And I knew they could not possibly know enough about American pop culture to realize what a geek my Bonanza obsession makes me.

I'm so glad to be on terra firma.

Sunday Stealing

Funky Twenty-Five Meme

1. Most unflattering hairstyle you ever had? What made it so unflattering? When I was trying to grow it out. It was all cowlicky and impossible to rule. I finally gave up and cut it.

 2. Favorite movie(s) that were made in the 90's? Pulp Fiction and Titanic are the first two that come to mind.

3. Do you rent movies? If so, from where? Well, I order movies On Demand. Does that count?

4. Do you like cookies better when they're just out of the oven or after they've cooled? After they've cooled. I don't like to burn the roof of my mouth.

5. Do you still talk to the person who gave you your first kiss? No. I don't even know where he is anymore or how I'd reach him if I wanted to.

6. Did you go to pre-school? If so, what was the name of it? No pre-school.

7. How do you take your coffee? I don't take it, I leave it.

8. Do you like fuzzy things? Depends. Slippers, yes. Hard candy that's rolled on the carpet, no.

9. Favorite kind of chocolate? Dark.

10. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? I'm a worrier about the little things, but mostly positive about big/global things.

11. What about peopleofwalmart.com? Do you think the site is mean, funny, or both? Mean

12. Do you like fat sandwiches? If so, what does your favorite one have on it? I'm not exactly sure what a fat sandwich is.

13. One restaurant you'd never been to but would like to go to? Ah ha! I just went to The Ivy in Beverly Hills, after reading about it in People mag for years. The decor was charming. The special touches -- free champagne when you come in and a box of chocolate chip cookies on the way out -- are nice value adds, indeed. But the tables are too close together, and the menu is comparable to a high-end restaurant in any big city. Still, I'm delighted I got to try it. If you're ever in Los Angeles, treat yourself.

14. Last time you got a haircut? Do you need one? Just got a hair cut yesterday.

15. What's your favorite pattern for clothing (stripes, plaid, etc.)? Pin stripes, I suppose. I like solids.

16. What's your age backwards? 75.

17. When you see typos in a survey, do you correct them? No. I'm a writer by trade. I know no one likes making a typo. I'm not into rubbing anyone's nose in a simple mistake.

18. When was your last vacation? Did you go someplace special? I just got back from Los Angeles. I must update this blog to include details about the trip before I forget.

19. What's your favorite kind of pancakes? Buttery, syrupy. And I can make any pancakes buttery and syrupy.

20. Do you like movies with computer graphics, like Avatar? Sci-fi feels irrelevant to me.

21. Do you know how to sew? I can mend and hem.

22. Are you good at wrapping gifts? I'm OK.

23. Do you like flavored yogurt? I prefer strawberry.

24. How old will you be in December of 2015? 58.

25. What's the age difference between you and your siblings? I'm in the middle; a little over a year younger than my big sister, 8 years older than my little sister.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Hawaii Five-O (1969)

1) This is the theme from the TV show that originally ran from 1968 to 1980 and is on now again with a new cast. Were you/are you a fan? No. I never watched either incarnation. I've been to Hawaii twice and would love to go back, and think I've seen every episode of Magnum PI (at least) twice, but for some reason the appeal of Five-O eludes me.

2) On both shows, Five-O is an elite police task force led by Det. Lt. Steve McGarrett. Who is your favorite TV cop? Just one? It's hard. But I'll have to go with one of the L and O officers -- Lennie Briscoe, Elliott Stabler or Mike Logan.

3) On both shows, the part of Danny "Danno" Williams was played by a second generation performer. (James MacArthur was the son of Broadway legend Helen Hayes; Scott Caan is the son of movie actor James Caan.) If you followed one of your parents into their chosen profession, what would you be doing? My dad was an auto mechanic. Being a real gear head is clearly not a trait passed on from generation to generation. Similarly, my mother was a stay-at-home mom, also something that holds no attraction for me.

4) Both shows are filmed in Hawaii, the boyhood home of President Obama. Have any of our 44 Presidents hailed from your state? Abraham Lincoln. Our best-ever president. No matter who your state claims, Illinois wins. Because he's Abe. 

You're welcome, grateful world

 5) Kona coffee is made from beans cultivated on the Big Island of Hawaii. Are you a big coffee drinker? No. The smell makes me a little nauseous.

6) This week's song was written by the late Morton Stevens. In addition to composing for TV shows, he was the musical director for a group of entertainers known in the 60s as "The Rat Pack." Can you name any "Rat Pack" members?

 
7) This week's featured band, The Ventures, began when Don Wilson purchased a used car from Bob Bogle. During negotiations, they discovered a shared passion for playing guitar. Did you buy your current ride new or used? Did the negotiations go smoothly? No car.

8) The year this song was popular, 1969, is when Donald and Doris Fisher opened a San Francisco clothing store called The Gap. Today there are more than 3,200 Gap locations. Do you shop at The Gap or gap.com? Nope. There's an Old Navy (owned by the same company) just around the corner from The Gap and its jeans fit better and are more affordable.

9)  Random question: What's on your Saturday to-do list? Hair cut, lunch with my nephew, and update this blog. I still haven't posted a word about my trip to LA! I want to get it down before I forget anything.