Monday, March 16, 2015

OK, so I lied

My Cousin Rose is coming to Chicago around Memorial Day. For reasons I've explained before -- and won't again just now because they make me sad -- I don't want her to stay with me.

I feel immensely guilty about this. I know my cousin loves me. And, when I was a teenager, she was literally my salvation. Hearts as good as hers are very special and must be handled with care.

But after four hours with her, I can't wait to get away from her. She's that negative about everything, and that negativity upsets me so much. I can't have her for the weekend in my home.

So I lied. I told her my oldest friend from California is coming in (she's not) to deliver her daughter to her ex-husband for a summer visit, and to attend an old neighbor's anniversary party. Then I told her my friends from the Keys are also coming in (they aren't) for the first time since 2004 for a convention and are extending their stay so we can have a reunion.

I joked that I've never been as popular in my whole life as I'm going to be around Memorial Day 2015. I told Rose that I'd love to spend an afternoon or evening with her, that I look forward to it (I do). And if we're all flexible and patient, I'm sure I'll be able to spend the time with her she and I deserve as well as with everyone else who will be in Chicagoland that weekend.

I feel sick about lying to her. I do. But I'd have an ulcer if I was dreading her visit for more than a month.

And so I did it. I chose to protect my stomach lining and protect her feelings at the same time.


  1. why is it people we love drive us nuts??
    thankfully she lives far away...some of mine live within miles...ugh!!

  2. I know how hard it is for you to choose your well-being over that of someone you love dearly and I want to stand next to you and support you in this decision.

    You did good even if it feels so very, very awful.

  3. It's hard having a relationship like that, and good of you to honor your cousin's feelings while you protect your own sanity.

  4. I see nothing wrong with this. Boundaries are necessary.


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