Even happier than before

When my friend Tom was laid off last February, I was sad. For me, of course, because I'd miss him.
For the quality of our work, because we had a system down and were quite efficient. But most of all, for him. He was in the midst of planning a wedding! It seemed monumentally unfair.

I had dinner with him this week and am pleased to report he's happy. It's been a tumultuous 13 months -- two freelance jobs, another fulltime job that didn't work out, a wedding and then a honeymoon in Bora Bora (Bora Bora!) and now a new job. But he's come through it all with his spirit in tact, his self confidence strong, and his spirits high. I'm so happy for him.

Looking over the past year, I think we're better off here at work, too. The girl who took over for Tom is not as dear to me as he was, and won't ever be. But her style is actually better suited for our client than Tom's was. The new job he's in uses his strengths more than we did.

So we all lived happily ever after.

March Challenge -- Day 19

Day 19 --What is your favorite or lucky number?

 

7, because I once won a prize at a classmate's birthday party by guessing it. I've stuck with it ever since.

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WWW.WEDNESDAY

To play along, just answer the following three questions ...

• What are you currently reading? After Visiting Friends by Michael Haney. It's a pleasure to read this memoir by a journalist who is following in the footsteps of his father, a Chicago newspaperman who died at age 35 "after visiting friends." The family legend and the published obit just don't make sense to the author and he's on a quest to find out what really happened to the father he lost when he was just six. It's well written and moving and filled with details about Chicago that I recognize and that warm my heart.

 

• What did you recently finish reading? Top Down by Jim Lehrer. I really didn't like this book very much, whichis surprising because so much emotion is inherently part of the story. It's about a fictional Secret Service agent who made the decision on 11/22/63 -- the plastic bubble top stays down and President Kennedy rides through Dallas in a completely open car. Except that decision wasn't really that fateful, since the bubble top wasn't bullet proof and all the dialog is stilted and few of the characters made any real sense to me. This from a reporter who covered JFK's arrival in Dallas and went on to become half of the world-famous MacNeil/Lehrer Report! I was very disappointed.

• What do you think you’ll read next? The Country Girls Trilogy by Edna O'Brien. A novel about a pair of Irish schoolgirls set in the 1940s. I began it a couple weeks ago and was enjoying it. I'll return to it after After Visiting Friends.

To see how others responded, click here.

Adventures in Laundry

I give laundry way too much thought. I hate it, but it's my domestic obsession.

This latest episode began Sunday afternoon. I went down to our shared laundry room (two washers, two dryers) and discovered one of the dryers OOO. When I went to the use the other one, I found the coin slot jammed, leaving this one unusable, as well. AARGH!

So I had to put on makeup and real shoes and drag two loads of damp clothes to the washeteria several blocks up the street. Oh, Joy!

I decided to treat myself to a hot dog and fries from my favorite hot dog stand and was faced with more disappointment. They're closed on Sunday during winter. WINTER? Since when is St. Patrick's Day weekend winter? Since there's a chance of snow in the forecast every day, I guess.

So I went to the premium petstore. If I couldn't get junk food for myself, maybe I could get something super high quality and nutritious for Charlotte. I found a new canned food -- rabbit in gravy. Now I felt bad for Peter Cottontail, but I got over it because the food in the cats' bowls has to appeal to them, not to me. I got home and enthusiastically spooned it out for dinner, splashing myself with rabbit gravy in the process.

Anyone know how to remove rabbit gravy from my favorite sweatshirt?

I do! I do!

I kept the stained areas damp -- first with Shout! stain remover and then with shampoo. The coin slot on one of the dryers was finally repaired and last night I was able to wash it. Twice (once with socks and once with my cotton panties), warm water, each time with detergent and a booster.

My sweatshirt is at least 10 years old but it looks good as new.

Now I'm fixating on what I'll do this weekend if we're still down to one dryer. How many loads will I be able to do? What can I put off for another week? (I'm thinking the towels. I like drying them separately, without fabric softener sheets to hamper their absorbency.)

March Challenge -- Day 18

Day 18 -- How often do you check items off your bucket list?

 

I don't have a bucket list. Maybe I should, but I don't.

 
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Teaser Tuesday

Here's how to play this meme.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

From After Visiting Friends, by Michael Hainey. It's a memoir of a son trying to get to the bottom of his father's death.

 

"Family? Secrets? Sometimes I think they are the same thing."

 

March Challenge -- Day 17

Day 17 -- Do you have a favorite holiday? How do you celebrate? 

Thanksgiving. For the last two years I have celebrated it with my friend John and whoever else he invites. John prides himself on get-togethers that are stress free, easy affairs built around support and acceptance. It's a far cry from the tense family gatherings of my girlhood, and I am most thankful.

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March Challenge -- Day 16

Day 16 -- What's for breakfast? 

Post Raisin Bran.

 
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Sunday Stealing

The Yeah Meme


Do you have another window or tab open? If so, what are they for? Always! My email and Farmville are open.

Do you like to cook/bake? Not really.

What are you currently listening to? Roseanne on WE-TV. I never watched this show when it was on first-run but I really enjoy it now. Especially John Goodman as Dan and the daughters. I just have to get past how incredibly icky I find Roseanne herself.

How long have you lived in the house you live in? Since August 2001. Easy to remember because it still felt new on 9/11.

Are you tired? No. Lazy, yes, but not tired.

Do you pick your words carefully, or just tend to blurt everything out? Yes. I choose words carefully at work because choosing words is my job. I'm a writer. But in my personal life I'm a blurter.

Are you nice to everyone? No. I was rather rude to the girl at the consignment shop yesterday and I felt really bad about it. I thought she was being officious, but then I realized she's just one of those people with a flat, world-weary tone of voice. I tried to make it up to her. Don't know if I was successful.

Have you ever tripped in public? Ha! I'm such a klutz! I'm proud I got through 2013 without suffering a fall that required antiseptic, bandages or a trip to the ER.

Are you a morning person or a night person? Night.

Is it easier to forgive or forget? I have trouble with both. I suppose I find it easier to forgive.

Is there something that’s recently shocked you? Malaysia Flight #370. I can't stop thinking about it.

Which is harder: walking away from somebody you love or coming back? Walking away.

What were you doing at midnight last night? Asleep.

What color are your eyes? Green.

March Challenge -- Day 15

Day 15 -- Check today's horoscope. Is it at all accurate?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Living in the past will rob you of the wonders going on around you today. A Pisces will help you get in touch with the magic around you.
Read more at http://www.philly.com/philly/living/20140316_Horoscope__March_15.html#CUtSjEjh3uBl3Wft.99

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Living in the past will rob you of the wonders going on around you today. A Pisces will help you get in touch with the magic around you.
Read more at http://www.philly.com/philly/living/20140316_Horoscope__March_15.html#CUtSjEjh3uBl3Wft.99

SAGITTARIUS. Living in the past will deprive you of the wonders going on around you today. A Pisces will help you get in touch with the magic around you.

I don't know if this reflects my Saturday. Maybe.

I tried something new at breakfast -- salmon benedict. A salmon patty where the ham usually is. It's
more healthful than the conventional eggs benedict but nowhere near as yummy.

Then I dropped some clothes off at the consignment store. I made $70.17 there with my fall/winter clothes. We'll see how I do this spring/summer. I brought fewer pieces over this time, so I'd be happy with $35.

I also went to the Goodwill Sale at Carson's. I turned in six t-shirts that got me TWELVE in-store coupons! New raincoat, jeans, sunglasses, socks, t-shirts and Clinique eye cream, all at least 20% off. I got to support a cause I believe in and spruce up my wardrobe. Win-win.

Does casting off my old clothes and trying a new breakfast entree count as no longer "living in the past?"

My kid sister called last night to tell me the latest about my niece and her roommate/boyfriend. My niece was in tears in the Wal-Mart parking lot because she wants to break up with him but both their names are on the lease. Because I am cool in times of crisis, my sister asked me for advice as to how to handle this. I love my niece and was happy to help. On the other hand, my sister can be rather petulant and selfish. I am trying to walk that fine line of doing what's comfortable but not giving too much away.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Living in the past will rob you of the wonders going on around you today. A Pisces will help you get in touch with the magic around you.
Read more at http://www.philly.com/philly/living/20140316_Horoscope__March_15.html#CUtSjEjh3uBl3Wft.99

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Living in the past will rob you of the wonders going on around you today. A Pisces will help you get in touch with the magic around you.
Read more at http://www.philly.com/philly/living/20140316_Horoscope__March_15.html#CUtSjEjh3uBl3Wft.99

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"Property does need some work but could be a beauty"

So says the MLS listing for my mother's home. I think she'd like that. She loved that old ranch so much.

It's been empty for more than a year. It's taken that long for her reverse mortgage to wend its way through the courts. But now the house is up for sale, realtor owned and less than appraised value.

My mother's parents built this house and she moved in when my uncle was in 8th grade and she was a senior in high school. It's the house where she had her tiny wedding reception (20 people) and where she left for her honeymoon. When I was a toddler, my parents bought the house from my grandparents for just $1* and she was home.

Her pride in her yard was enormous. She was never happier than when she was tending that garden.

I was not happy in there. The village is too white-bread. Some damaging things happened to me while I was living in that town and in that house.

But it was her home. It's 3BR (the realtor is calling the big fourth bedroom a family room) and 1.5 BA and it's walking distance to two grammar schools and one junior high. I hope a young family sees the potential in it, buys it, and lives the happy life my mother liked to pretend we had.

Both she and the house deserve that.

*The story is that my grandparents didn't want that big yard anymore, but that doesn't explain why they gave it to my parents. Yes, my mom and dad took over the mortgage, but $1 is a very sweet down payment. I suspect my dad was in financial trouble and his in laws fished him out. But my family thrived on secrets, so I'll never know.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Unicorn

"The Unicorn" was selected because Monday is St. Patrick's Day. Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) This song was recorded by The Irish Rovers. While it's said that on St. Patrick's Day everyone is Irish, can you honestly claim Irish heritage? A wee bit. My grandma was 1/2 Irish, which makes me 1/8th.

2) According to the 2000 Census, Massachusetts is the state with the largest percentage of residents of Irish descent. Have you ever been to The Bay State? Yes, twice. I really enjoyed it. A charming, historic and very walkable city.  I would love to go back!

3) Other than St. Patrick, what is Ireland famous for? Belleek pottery and china, wool sweaters.

4) St. Patrick's Day is celebrated the world over. They even watch marching bands and wave Irish flags on St. Patrick's Day in Moscow. Does your town have a St. Patrick's Day parade? Puh-leez! I live in Chicago! The river is dyed green, there are Irish dance demonstrations and jig lessons under the Picasso at the Daley Center, and there's a parade through the city.

5) "The wearing o' the green" is one way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. Will you wear something green in honor of the day? If I remember. So many celebrations are going on this weekend it may slip my mind that Monday is the actual day.

6) Have you ever had green beer? No, and I'm not interested.

7) Have you ever ordered a Shamrock Shake at McDonald's? Just had my first one at work on Friday! (McDonald's is a client and they sent shakes and apple pies over for Pi Day.)

8) A four-leaf clover is considered good luck. Do you have a lucky charm? Yes, and it's literally a charm. It's small and poorly made, but it depicts the Virgin Mary holding Baby Jesus. I found it on the carpet as I was waiting to board a recent flight. I fingered it during take off and landing and it really made me feel better.

BTW, I'm a white knuckle flier, and this Malaysia Flight 370 story is frightening and fascinating me. WHAT HAPPENED? Who would kill 239 people that way? Why?

9) Speaking of Lucky Charms, they are magically delicious.  What brand of cereal is in your kitchen right now? Rice Krispies.

Universality

This is why I like reading biographies. I always learn something, even if it's not what I expected. For example, I now know Johnny Carson had a lot in common with my Cousin Rose.

No, she doesn't smoke or drink. She's not a night owl and she doesn't have a quick wit. He was not a good Catholic who never missed mass, nor was he fascinated by her passion, genealogy.

But they both suffered through bitter divorces, and were permanently damaged by the experience. This passage, from the biography Johnny Carson by Henry Bushkin, has stayed with me since I read it four months ago because it reminds me of Rose:

"Johnny changed during the divorce proceedings, and I don't know if he ever entirely changed back … stormy moments came more frequently, and there was an overall harshness, an impatient intolerance that wasn't there before."

Rose waited a long time to marry and it ended horribly. It's left her sharp-tongued, with her temper always close to the surface. It's what Bushkin saw in Johnny, "an overall harshness" and intolerance.

As hard as it can be to be around her, I imagine that it's harder to be her. I must remember that and stay compassionate.

March Challenge -- Day 14

Day 14 -- What is your dream vacation? 

This one kinda hurts, since I'm not taking a spa getaway this year. For this first time since Bill Clinton was in office, I'm not escaping, all by myself, for seclusion and pampering. Instead I'm taking the

Look closely! She's in a bathrobe! I love this place.

money that would go to that and putting it into my bathroom. Yea, me! I'm so mature. 

Then why am I so wistful?

I wish I was at Chateau Elan, a destination spa outside of Atlanta. I'd stay in one of the guest suites, right on the spa premises, so I could go days without wearing anything but a bathrobe. Of course, the grounds are beautiful -- there's a winery right there -- so when I'm not being massaged or exfoliated, when I'm not dining on gourmet fare or getting make up tips, when I'm reading and relaxing in my suite, I can go wandering. Sigh. 

I've been spa-ing Hot Springs and Colonial Williamsburg, and they were beautiful, but if money is no object, Chateau Elan is the happy place I send my mind to.

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March Challenge

Day 13 -- How do you pamper yourself?
 

I really look forward to my weekly coffee shop breakfast, eggs benedict is my favorite. Just me and my book. Great food, no clean up. The perfect way to start the weekend.

 
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WWW.WEDNESDAY

To play along, just answer the following three questions ...

• What are you currently reading? After Visiting Friends by Michael Haney. A reporter wants to know the truth about how his father died many years ago at the young age of 35. It's gotten terrific reviews, but since I just picked it up this morning, I don't have much to say about it yet.

 

• What did you recently finish reading? Top Down by Jim Lehrer. It's the story of Van Walters, a fictitious Secret Service agent who made the decision on 11/22/63 -- the plastic bubble top stays down and President Kennedy rides through Dallas in a completely open car. For a story that has so much human drama baked right in, it was a surprisingly ho-hum affair. I was especially disappointed because Mr. Lehrer was actually there, as a reporter at Love Field in Dallas 50 years ago. I thought his personal insight and involvement would add some passion to this novel. I was wrong.

• What do you think you’ll read next? The Country Girls Trilogy by Edna O'Brien. A novel about a pair of Irish schoolgirls set in the 1940s. I began it a couple weeks ago and was enjoying it. I'll return to it after After Visiting Friends.

To see how others responded, click here.

March Challenge -- Days 11 and 12

Day 11 -- What is in your wallet, other than money?

Lots of ATM receipts, random business cards, coupons and my frequent shopper cards (Walgreens, CVS, Petco ...)

Day 12 -- What do you do to cheer someone up?

I go to Macy's. It's attached to my office building by the Pedway, so I don't even have to go outdoors to get there. And they have EVERYTHING you could think of to cheer someone up. There's a card shop, Frango Mints (an individual mint cookie is like $1) and just last week I bought a coworker a baby present. It was a Healthtex onesie and matching cap on sale for less than $4 and made her sooooo happy.

A quick jaunt to Macy's is an easy and inexpensive way to spread a little joy.

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March Challenge -- Day 10

Day 10 -- Tell a joke or a funny story

It's embarrassing how this always cracks me up

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Pretty new necklace

A cherry bomb against a field of Cubbie blue!

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

13 ounces!

That's how much my cat Charlotte has gained in the last month. Very good, very exciting news.

The weather and her health have both improved to the extent that I was able to walk us back from the vet (her in the carrier, of course), saving me $7-$10 in cab fare.

Last month, when she was so sick, I was afraid of losing both my job and my diva cat. What a difference 30 days make! I'm very grateful.

March Challege -- Day 9

Day 9 -- Describe a routine or ritual you have
 

In the shower, I wash my face with a gentle, sudsy cleanser. Then I either deep cleanse with a pore refining mask or exfoliate with a scrub. After my shower, I apply anti-oxidants (usually Body Shop Vitamin C) to my face and decolletage and serum to the sensitive skin around my eyes. I give it a minute to absorb when I do my hair. Then I slather rich moisturizers to my face, chest and around my eyes.

It sounds like a lot, but I have been doing it so consistently, so long, that I'm not even aware I'm doing it anymore.

 
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Sunday Stealing

Because I've been through the desert on a Meme with No Name

1. Have you ever pretended to read a book to impress someone? Not quite. I have pretended to have finished a book I didn't to impress someone.

2. Have you ever pretended not to read a book in order to avoid embarrassment? No. And I can't imagine what situation this would be.

3. What’s your worst reading habit? When I read biographies, I frequently jump around based on the index.

4. What book are you most proud of having read? None, particularly.

5. Do you buy most of your books new, second-hand, electronically or borrow via the library? All of the above, except electronically.

6. Have you ever pretended to watch a film to impress someone? No.

7. Have you ever pretended not to have watched a film in order to avoid embarrassment? Again, I don't know why I would do this.

8. What movie have you watched the most? 

9. What film do you tell people is your favorite ever?

10. What film is actually your favorite ever?

I ran out of The Way We Were posters in English

11. What time do you usually wake up and get up in the mornings? 6:00 AM on weekdays. Whenever on weekends.

12. Do you wake naturally or does something/someone wake you up? My cat Reynaldo takes charge if the alarm doesn't beat him to it.

13. How many snooze alarms do you need? No snooze.

14. What’s your routine on a workday/work at home morning? Feed cats. Check my email. Shower. Makeup. Clothes. Decide if I'm packing my lunch. Make sure I have my ID and train pass. Catch the train.

15. What’s your routine on a non-workday morning? In the words of my all-time idol ...

March Challenge -- Day 8

Day 8 -- Your exercise philosophy

Get my heart rate up to 100 or more and keep it here for at least 20 minutes. Follow with some weight training. Do this 3x week. Eventually I will get stronger and maybe even a bit thinner.

 
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Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Theme from Peyton Place ("Wonderful Season of Love")

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) Spring, summer, fall or winter: which season do you consider most wonderful? I'm a fan of fall.

2) Crazy Sam learned this song when she played flute in the high school orchestra. Did you participate in many after-school activities? I wrote for the school paper and was a member of Spanish Club as a freshman and sophomore. Then when I got to my junior year I quit them both. I realized how little I really had in common with my rah-rah classmates. I really didn't enjoy high school very much.

3) The flautist next to her in the orchestra was Jeanne Pepitone. After a little Facebook spying, Sam learned that Jeanne is now Jeanne Moran, a nurse with a husband and a daughter. Sam shot her a "friend request." Do you keep up with your high school classmates? Only my oldest friend. I've known her since kindergarten. Though interestingly, we weren't close at all during high school. She put the "rah" in rah-rah back in those days. She loved high school!

4) When she performed with the school orchestra, Sam was required to wear gray slacks and a black sweater. What are you wearing right now, as you answer these questions? Jeans and a coral sweater.

5) Sam was especially dedicated to the school orchestra because she had a crush on Mr. Hanley, the school's musical director. He was the dark/thin/sensitive type. Tell us about a teacher you remember, and why he or she stands out. My high school English teacher had a wild mass of black hair and was (gasp!) Jewish. You have no idea how exotic that made him in my white-bread little town. He also really loved Shakespeare, and helped me see it as vibrant, relevant and sexy. He left that high school after just two or three years and, last I heard, is teaching drama at an Ivy League university. I was lucky to have him.

6) Because Sam was so crazy about Mr. Hanley, she was desperate to attend his band camp. Her parents wouldn't allow it unless she could pay her own way, and so she didn't get to go. Were your parents strict or permissive? If you have children yourself, what's your parenting style? My mom handled the day-to-day discipline and she was pretty lenient. My dad would swoop in when something made him mad, and since he was motivated by anger, he always handled it badly.

7) Sam liked Fridays because her favorite food, fried rice, was served in the school cafeteria. When you eat Chinese food, do you use chopsticks or a fork? I just had shrimp fried rice for lunch on Thursday. It was yummy, of course. And I used a fork.

8) When Sam was a little girl, a new box of Crayolas could get her pulse racing. Now she loves her Sharpies. Do you enjoy shopping for school/office supplies? Not especially. Though I do have a particular fondness for post-it notes.

9) Do you have any plush toys? Or did you give them all up when you left childhood? I still have my beloved Lassie dog, my mainstay when I was a little girl, and a polar bear my mother gave me for Christmas a few years ago. (She sponsored a polar bear in my honor from the World Wildlife Fund.)

 

Hail! Hail! The Gang's All Here!

 

We had our regularly scheduled team meeting, but this morning it was unusually well attended. Because we knew the president of the Chicago office was going to speak about how our account would be managed "going forward."

Gulp!

I am pleased to report that, despite all my fears, the news was all good. Even better, after listening to the president, I'm looking at my job through new eyes.

Our client is a nationally recognized brand. You know them. Everyone knows them. And yet we have historically gotten precious little love within our agency because it's perceived as rather dull (like Hallmark or Avon or Tupperware). If they sold beer or fast food or cars, we'd get attention.

The new president said he's impressed by how much we do, across so many platforms. TV, digital,* outdoor and mail.* That we're an example for the rest of the agency, both in Chicago and (gasp!) New York. 

He also said that he was trying to come up with a new way to bill our client, that our long-standing contract might not be the best way to "monetize our relationship." That makes me nervous. But those conversations are scheduled for "the back end of 2014, maybe 2015," so I'm trying not to freak out.

*My areas

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

March Challenge -- Day 7

Day 7 -- What's the next movie you want to watch?


The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, starring Gene Tierney with an appearance by a very young Natalie Wood. I DVR'd it a week or so ago and really do want to watch it. I've never seen it start-to-finish, and the premise -- a widow falls in love with a sea captain who just so happens to inconveniently be a ghost -- sounds quite romantic to me.

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That went well

No, really, it did!

Two things about my friend Barb have really annoyed me lately. One is her complete inability to put down the fucking iPhone. The other is her passionate, obsessive hate of Obamacare.

We saw each other last night for the first time since January and I snapped. She blew in 15 minutes late (even though I sent two reminders as to the time and place) and proceeded to start with the smartphone.

"Put that down," I told her. She smiled sheepishly and continued.

"I'm not kidding. If you don't stop that, I'm getting my book out. It's more interesting than looking at the part of your hair."

Amazingly, she put the phone down.

But then she started on Obamacare. And wouldn't let it go. She's been complaining about Obamacare at least since December. It's literally making her nuts.

Finally I asked her why, over the last 20 years, this is the only major event she's been this vocal about. I proceeded to list all the things we have NOT discussed over the years:

•  The Oklahoma City Bombing
•  The Lewinsky scandal and impeachment
•  Florida and the 2000 election
•  Non-existent WMDs
•  Katrina
•  TARP and the auto industry bailout
•  Drones
•  Gitmo
•  Edward Snowden and the NSA

Yet for some reason THIS is making her nuts? I said that the only aspect of this I'm going to discuss with her anymore is why Obamacare bothers her but she's apparently OK with the 9 topics listed above.

It worked! The subject was dropped and I doubt it will come up again. If it does, I'll just remind her that people actually DIED DURING KATRINA and she was apparently OK with it. This seems to be a rather effective argument.

Here's the thing -- when Barb and I met in the 1990s, she was my boss and that balance of power has always tilted a bit in her favor. Last night was one of only two times I can recall actually losing my temper with her. It's funny, but after I did, we got a long so much better. We spent one of the funniest, most spontaneous evenings together that I can recall.

There's a lesson here somewhere ...

March Challenge -- Day 6

Day 6 -- Six lies you tell yourself

I'll start working out tomorrow
I'll be more careful with money tomorrow
I'll get rid of the clutter tomorrow
I'll really scrub the bathroom floor tomorrow
I'll take the futon cover to the dry cleaner tomorrow
I'll hem those jeans tomorrow


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