Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "You Can't Be Missed" Meme, Part 2

Cheers to all of us thieves!

16. What was the last thing you did that was totally selfish, yet you feel no guilt? Just about everything I did on Saturday. It was an amazingly lazy day.

17. Tell us about a film fave of yours that we probably have not seen. The Americanization of Emily. Made in 1964, it uses an absurd story about World War II to foretell how absurd Viet Nam would turn out to be. Watched now, it's impossible not to think about our adventures in Afghanistan and Iraq. It makes the point rather neatly that while rank-and-file soldiers and civilians suffer in war, often the powerful flourish. If this sounds too poopy and depressing for you, let me assure you the movie is often charming and sweet. After all, it stars Julie Andrews and James Garner. How can a movie starring Mary Poppins and Jim Rockford be poopy and depressing?




18. When was the last time you kissed someone that you shouldn't have on the lips? It's been so long I can't remember. And how sad is that!

19. When was the last time you cooked something for someone not in your family? When I toiled over a batch of Apple Banana Cupcakes for a Christmas fundraiser to benefit a local animal shelter.

20. When was the last time you danced like a crazy person? Any time I dance. I am not very graceful.

21. When was the last time you just wanted to be invisible? The day that the crazy man in the el station went off on me and called me the "c-word" because I had "no manners." I don't know what I did to set him off because, well, he's a nut. But it was soooo embarrassing.

22. When was the last time you got a gift you absolutely hated? I have received gifts that I've been confused by or didn't want ... but I can't think of anything I absolutely hated.

23. When was the last time you got into a physical fight? (If NEVER, let us know about a time that you got close to a fight.) The almost would be question #21 above. You never know how a confrontation with a crazy person will end.

24. When was the last time you had to sleep with a light on? While I was on vacation in March. I had a wonderful time, but before I went had a vivid premonition that something awful was going to happen to me. I admit it -- I frightened myself into having to sleep with the light (and the TV) on.

25. When was the last time you were under some serious stress? A week ago last Monday. I wasn't feeling well, but still had due dates to meet.

26. When was the last time you watched your favorite movie? In its entirety? December 22, 2007. For it's The Way We Were, and it makes me cry, so I have to be in the right state of mind for it.

27. What song did you most recently downloaded? "Upside Down" by Jack Johnson



28. What would you say is your favorite hobby? Reading

29. What is your favorite thing to do when you hang out with friends? Drink and laugh

30. What would you rather do: shower or bathe with that celebrity that you are crushing on? Bathe. I'm more comfortable when I can't fall, and when I'm comfortable, I can concentrate on the important things.

THS

A rerun about the Baldwin Brothers. I forgot how dishy Alec once was.

The world of preteen soccer can be brutal

My nephew is a geek. At 11, he is very smart, but more comfortable with adults and computers than with most boys his own age. He has a small posse of close friends and he's happy, so this doesn't bother me. He's sensitive and still very much a little boy -- he still sleeps with individually named plush toys. That's who he is and that's fine. He's his own boy and he has to be who he is, and grow up at his own speed, in his own way.

He loooooves playing in the park district soccer league. It's more advanced than school gym class soccer and he's learning moves that has helped in do well in the schoolyard. BUT he's nowhere near as good as the other kids in the park district league and he's not making any friends. According to my mother, who attends his games, he seems nervous on the sidelines, occasionally chewing on a sleeve. And when he was pulled from his last game, she heard one of the boys say, most emphatically, "GOOD!"

My mom is incensed, and hopes that he drops out of the league before the season ends, before he figures out that his teammates don't like him. And she doesn't want him to play again next time (I think there may be a summer league).

I know she's being a loving grandma, but I think she's looking at his life through her eyes. He's a sensitive kid -- I bet on some level he knows he's not as good as the other kids, and he must know the other boys don't huddle around him on the sidelines. Yet he maintains he loves the games and even gets upset if a practice is canceled due to a muddy field. His dad is a great guy but not much of a jock. I think my nephew likes the coaching he receives and the extra practice that enables him to impress the classmates at school, who he cares about more.

I just hope my mom's concerns don't bleed through, and that he doesn't interpret her loving concern as disappointment in his performance. For I don't think he perceives it the way she does, and I doubt he's unhappy with the situation on his own.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: My Best Friend's Wedding

1. Have you ever lost a friend after he/she got married? Sort of. There's a friend I have literally thought of as "my baby." He's 13 years younger than I am and I mentored him at the beginning of his career, when he first moved to Chicago from St. Louis. He's a wonderful guy, a far more gentle soul than he appears. He married in 2008 and moved to the burbs with his wife and stepson and I haven't seen that much of him since. He's always on my mind -- but today he's top of mind because he called out of the blue to stay that they're going to have a baby! So I guess in a way this makes me "a grandma." I'm thrilled. He waited a long time to get married and become a dad (he'll be 40 when the baby arrives) but that's because he's thoughtful and wanted to make sure the time was right.

2. Do you make friends easily? Yes, I'm blessed that way.

3. Do you have many close friends? I think so.

4. Tell us about your oldest friend. You're new here, aren't you? My oldest friend has taken up a great deal of my time and attention and concern over the last year. She is one of those people that shit just happens to. She has troubled children, a checkered romantic history, problems at work, a history of health problems, a house in foreclosure ... She is also my touchstone, the keeper of my secrets, and the one who can make me laugh like no other.

5. Tell us about your newest friend. I suppose that would be Lana. I met her years ago, when I first started this job, but we didn't become friends until last summer. We're both massive Cub fans and were given free tickets by our company last August. The season was a lost cause by that point and we got them because no one else did. We really got to know one another for the first time that afternoon and have spontaneously become closer ever since.

6. Do you hang out with your friends often, or just occasionally when you can find time? When I can find the time, or when they need me. I always try to be available and I love and depend on them all. It's just I also need my alone time. It's how I recharge my battery.

7. What's the furthest you've traveled to visit (or vacation with, etc.) a friend? Last December I traveled 2000 miles to see my oldest friend for her first California birthday.

8. What's the biggest or best thing a friend has ever done for you? My dad died just as the company I was working for was going under. My friend (and, until almost that moment, boss) Ed used the time he spent waiting at the employment office to call people and organize a group to show up at my dad's wake. When I saw them come in, I felt like George Bailey at the end of It's a Wonderful Life -- truly blessed to have friends.

9. What's the worst or most hurtful thing that a friend (or an ex-friend) has done to you? I'm picking this up verbatim from the last Sunday Stealing: Oh, God. This was bad. Judy had been a friend for decades. She accused me of hitting on her boyfriend, and somehow going behind her back to expose their clandestine relationship to her sister. (Her lover once slept with Judy's sister, who considered Judy's relationship with him a betrayal; I don't know all the details because, honestly, I wasn't involved.) An ugly, ugly situation.

BTW, My Best Friend's Wedding is one my favorite movie soundtracks.
I highly recommend it!

Is #1319 qualified to judge?

Today I watched the livestream of jury selection for the Casey Anthony trial.* So much drama on so many levels! Today my heart/attention were captured by a potential juror -- #1319. Her face was never shown but we heard her voice as she responded in voir dire. All we know about her is that she is a single, over-50 African-American woman who --

• Says she would have no problems being on this jury despite religious beliefs

• Loves Farmville

• "Hates" TV news, watches only "cowboys and western movies"

• Has "no friends"

• Never thought about the death penalty before

• Could sentence someone to life in prison and "maybe" could impose the death penalty

• Wants to be on the jury because it's her duty "as a citizen"

Incredibly, she was held over and may be seated.

Huh? What?

This woman sounds more than a little odd to me. No friends, "hates" TV news, loves Farmville and Westerns? (Where does she even find that many Westerns to watch in 2011?)

This case is going to include sophisticated scientific and psychological evidence. Can this woman, who (to our knowledge) has no job or close family ties, put them into any real-life context?

Is she qualified to sit in judgment of the infamous "Tot Mom?" But then, what does make a qualified juror? Will Ms. 1319 balance out someone trendier and more social? Just because this woman looks off-center to me, does that mean her moral compass is off?

I am glad I do what I do for a living -- use words to sell shit -- instead of deciding matters of life and death. For while I don't know if #1319 is qualified to judge Casey Anthony, I admit I'm not qualified to choose a jury. I have so much respect for Judge Perry and anyone who picks up the gavel.


*That was on one window, another window had the Cubs kicking the World Champion asses of the Giants. I love my computer!

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Disturbing

Last night I watched Chaz Bono discuss his transgender journey and I found it unsettling. Not because I have any issue with his decision -- what could be more personal? But because he now reminds me, in facial expressions and vocal inflections, of a friend's husband.

Thursday Thirteen #123

THIRTEEN POSSIBLE REASONS

MY EYELID KEEPS TWITCHING

It's the outer corner, below my brow. Does anyone else notice it? Naturally, the more I fixate on it, the more it twitches. According to the sites I've visited, the twitching may be a result of:

1) Disrupted sleep routine

2) Stress

3) Fatigue

4) Too much time in front of the computer screen

5) A vitamin deficiency

6) Obsolete contact lens or glasses prescription

7) Too much caffeine

8) Pinched nerve

9) Prescription med interaction

10) Spinal disorder

11) Allergies

12) Sudden trauma, like a head injury

13) Pharmacological withdrawal from hypnotics or anticonvulsants

It's one of the least interesting options, but I bet it's #7.

I Want Wednesday

I want to be a juror on the Casey Anthony trial. OK, not really. First of all, I have read so much about this case I couldn't be objective. And secondly, I'd find someone "not guilty" before I would put them to death.

BUT this morning I heard the judge explain to the prospective jurors what would be expected of them: Total sequestration in Orlando for six to eight weeks. An individual hotel room, with all meals provided, as well as laundry service. Movies and cable (but no news) would be provided. There's no court on Saturday afternoons or Sundays, which I'm guessing could be pool time and visiting with family/friends. If it's a good hotel, there's probably a salon/spa on site. And the State of Florida will give them a check for $210/week.

If it wasn't for the icky murder aspect of this, I think it would be a sweet deal. I think at the end of 8 weeks, I'd have a fresh outlook on my own life and maybe -- because I'd be away from friends, family and other distractions -- I'd be in better shape thanks to all those hours at the hotel fitness facilities or the pool.

I knew it!

Shit happens to my oldest friend. Her plate is always full of drama. I knew that if I called and let her know I feel she has undervalued me and my feelings lately, that she would turn around and tell me of some emotional or legal tsunami that has engulfed her family.

And sure enough, she left a message today, letting me know her 21-year-old son was robbed at gunpoint behind their apartment building last night. He's OK -- all the crooks got were his phone and his cigs. But there was much hubbub as she got to meet with Beverly Hills' finest.

I'm sure it was terrifying and awful. I'm not diminishing that. But the events of yesterday, of course, don't explain where she's been for the past week when I was sick. And you know what? It doesn't really matter. This is how she is, how she's always been. I either have to accept and love her as she is, or quit investing this friendship with so much emotion.

As with the weight loss/fitness issues (see below), this really is MY life and I have to take responsibility for the shape it takes.

Buckle your seatbelts! It may be a bumpy few months!

I went to the gyne yesterday and it was an interesting, satisfying appointment. It was good that he heard me as we talked about my weight. Like my GP, he doesn't think it's that big a deal in and of itself ... unless he looks at it in context. After being a consistent weight for six years, I've gained 30 lbs. over the last three. I'm not a linebacker, I'm only 5'2. Thirty lbs. on a frame like mine is, indeed, a big deal.

Since my heart and thyroid are OK, he's pretty sure it's the antidepressants. Which is what my shrink thinks, too. And, after all these years, there's no being certain I even need them anymore.

So he and I agreed that I'm going to wean myself off of them over the next few months. Beginning this Sunday, I'll take one 6 days/week for two weeks. Then 5 days/week for two weeks, and so on. After I take my last pill, we'll revisit how I'm feeling and how we should proceed.

The doctor believes that the fatigue that gets in the way of my working out as often as I should is partly due to the antidepressants, and partly because I need to eat more protein and less pasta. I know the rich tomato sauce that came with my noodles is good for my heart, but I have overdone it.

So now I have a plan, and now I am feeling hopeful and empowered. Let's hope that, come summer, I don't return to feeling weepy and filled with self loathing, like I was when the anti-depressants rescued me.

I don't really want to know

I saw Molly the Cat's "dad" today for the first time in months. He looked fine and was on his usual corner, in front of Starbuck's, next to the mailbox. But alas, he was without Molly. As I bent to drop some change in his cup, our eyes met but I saw no recognition there. I was going to ask how that much loved, well fed white cat was doing, but then I thought ... don't ask if you don't want the answer.

Before 9:00 AM. And with a straw!

Saw the most amazing thing while riding the el this morning. A young man drained his Dunkin' Donut big beverage cup and refilled it with the contents of a beer bottle. He went on to sip his frothy brewski through a straw.

He did not seem drunk. He was well kempt, with the world's biggest and shiniest ring of keys. So I'm hoping he's a janitor who works overnights and was on his way home from work.

But mostly I'm shaking my head.

Movie Monday -- Katharine the Great

Share on your blog your favorite moments, memories or films featuring Katharine Hepburn, linking back here.

Oh, I just love this old girl! And I'm so jealous of The Bumbles for getting to tramp around her old stomping grounds. Because I so completely adore her, it's hard for me to choose favorite performances from her incomparable career. But here are three.

Linda Seton. Holiday. Sheltered, impetuous, good-hearted and loving. We watch her fall in love with her sister's beau, Cary Grant, and wrestle with issues of the heart and altruism and integrity. She's a great girl, a great sister and a great soul mate, and you can't help but cheer and ache for her in this romance.

Tracy Lord. The Philadelphia Story. Spoiled, imperious and destined to be brought down a peg. Like Holiday, this script is based on a Philip Barry play. And as in Holiday, she's paired with Cary Grant, and once again they have great chemistry. And that seductive scene at the pool with Jimmy Stewart ... sigh ... Nice work if you can get it, Kate, you lucky girl!

Christina Drayton. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. While I appreciate it, I don't really like this movie because it's so heavy-handed and dated. But there is this scene. It just slays me every time. Watch Kate watch Spence deliver one of the last speeches of his career. Is she in character? Or is she torn up because she knows how ill her costar is, and how hard this scene is for him physically? Or is she watching her longtime lover tell the world what she's meant to him? I vote for the last option, but that's the romantic in me. She's so beautiful, so graceful, so compelling ... and this most verbal of movie stars is uncharacteristically silent. I think this is the moment that won her a second Oscar.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "You Can't Be Missed" Meme, Part 1

Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Which state do you consider to be the most boring state? Iowa

2. If any chef from the Food Network (or any well known chef) could cater your wedding, who would it be? Rocco Dispirito, because I like carbs and his looks

3. What's the last thing you ate that was red? Does catsup on my fries count?

4. Have you ever questioned the sexuality orientation of a close friend? No

5. Everyone loses a friend after some big fight. Tell us about one. Oh, God. This was bad. Judy had been a friend for decades. She accused me of hitting on her boyfriend, and somehow going behind her back to expose their clandestine relationship to her sister. (Her lover once slept with Judy's sister, who considered Judy's relationship with him a betrayal; I don't know all the details because, honestly, I wasn't involved.) An ugly, ugly situation.

6. Have you ever washed an iPod or mp3 player in the washing machine? No

7. Have you ever screamed/yelled angrily at a boss? Yes

8. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Yes

9. Have you ever regretted being in a relationship with someone? Good Lord, yes!

10. Have you ever acted like you understood something when you didn't have a clue? Often

11. Have you ever thought someone must have been insane? If yes, tell us something about the person. My older sister falls victim to uncontrollable rages. This goes way, way beyond a "bad temper." Her last objet de rage was her son. She lunged at him with such ferocity that when he stepped out of the way, she hit the wall with such force she had to go to the ER. He was in his teens and she was in her mid-40s at the time. As one who spent her childhood and adolescence on the receiving end of her storms, I can tell you that they are not normal and terrifying to behold.

12. Have you ever pretended to be younger than what you are? Yes

13. Back in the day, did you ever cry because you were turned down for a date? Literally cry? No. But it hurt.

14. Have you ever (or your significant other) had a pregnancy scare? Yes

15. Have you ever pretended to like someone when you didn't? Almost daily. I work in an office, after all.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Let's Roll

1. Where were you when you found out the bin Laden was killed? How did you find out? I heard it from David Gregory on NBC. I was home, battling a touch of food poisoning. As awful as I felt, it was comforting to know Al Queda felt worse.

2. One of your best friends turns out to be saying hurtful and untrue things behind your back. What would you do? I suppose I could ask Navy Seals Team 6 if they'd like to get the band together ...

3. You instantly become a star. What is it that made you one? The tale of how I win the Lottery, invest in the Chicago Cubs and guide them to their first championship in more than a century.

4. If you could be ANY sex symbol (living or dead) who would it be and why? Padma Lakshmi from Top Chef. She's beautiful, smart, talented ... and the best men I know think she's to die for.

5. Where is your favorite place to eat out? Monk's Pub at Lake and Wells

6. Are there any current (that began before 2010) television shows out there that you've watched regularly from the very beginning? No

7. When is it time to just let it ('it' can be whatever you choose) go? How do you know? What do you do? I don't "do" anything about. One day it will just wash over me that "it" doesn't matter anymore. For me, it happens as a matter of course. Like the old Buddy Holly song, "You go your way and I'll go mine, now and forever till the end of time ... and you won't matter anymore."

8. Pimentos-- in Olives? Useless decorative effect? ...or something you maybe enjoy? ...and is there something you can only stare at and wonder about at the snack bar? I don't believe I've ever eaten a pimento. But then, I'm not a big fan of olives.

9. Why do you think we as a civilization can't seem to get along with one another? Because we just can't accept one another as we are and embrace our differences.

Done in plenty of time

My best friend's birthday is next month and his gift is already complete! First I got him a pewter horse shoe during my trip to Colonial Williamsburg, and today his pewter pine cone arrived. Over the years I have given him a four-leaf clover, an acorn and a turtle for luck and he's been very good about carrying them with him. This year, to mark his landmark 45th birthday, I got him TWO more lucky charms.

I like it that he'll have more than my will and his good karma protecting him as he enters the second half of his life. Can't wait to get them into his hands!

A reason to smile

Not only did Sir Paul and Nancy Shevell announce their engagement, I got the best email almost immediately after the word hit the streets.

From my friend, John:

LOVE ME DO

Age appropriate and accomplished.
The only way the news could be better is if it was you.

Hurt

I was sick on Sunday night and Monday. Really sick. Sweats and nausea. Headache and cramps. It was vile.

And, since we are busy at work and I couldn't afford the time off, I went in at 3:00 and shepherded a project through for a Tuesday afternoon presentation, which I aced even though I was fortified only by saltines and gingerale.

I have felt better each day and my rapid recovery has lifted my spirits enormously. I'm not saying I'm a hero, but within the parameters of my life, this has been a big deal. A very big deal.

On Monday afternoon I felt weepy and called my oldest friend. She has worked with doctors for decades and has a medical background herself. I initially wanted to know if I should continue taking my prescription meds or if they would be too trying for my poor gut. When she didn't pick up, I left a long, rambling, weepy voicemail about how I don't care about anything or anyone anymore because I'm so sick and feel so lousy, and please call and tell me what to do about my meds.

That was Monday at about 3:00 (1:00 her time). I still haven't heard back from her. This hurts me.

I have worked very hard to be there for her and honor the decades we have known each other. I know she is struggling these days and my heart goes out to her. I just wish that, when my heart goes out to her, she'd be a little more gentle with it.

I don't know what to do. My instinct is to call and tell her how hurt I am, but I suspect she won't pick up and that really hurts more. She's not working, on physical therapy, and could certainly find some time to call me back. I'm also afraid that if I do that, I'll find out that something else is wrong. My oldest friend has that kind of life -- shit happens to her.

And then, somehow, the call about how hurt I am will turn around and become a call about how much more trouble she's having. Which will, in turn, hurt and frustrate me.

Oh, well. Maybe I just have to grow up. This is how she is, how she has been for years. I have to accept and love her as she is and try to get over all this, "I me me mine" that I'm spewing in this post.

(Ouch! I'm still not well enough to use the word "spew" without wincing.)

Image: Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Thursday Thirteen #122

JUST IN TIME FOR MOTHER'S DAY --
13 REASONABLY-PRICED FRAGRANCES

Mother's Day is this Sunday. According to Forbes, the average mother will receive gifts and cards worth $37.14 per kid this year. To help you select a gift for your own mom, here are 13 of the best-selling fragrances available at Target for less than $50.

1) Halle by Halle Berry

2) Miracle Forever by Lancome

3) Chloe

4) Casual by Paul Sebastian

5) Love & Glamor by Jennifer Lopez

7) Sung by Alfred Sung

8) Jessica McClintock

9) Nude by Bill Blass

10) White Diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor

11) Design by Paul Sebastian

12) Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden

13) Curve Crush by Liz Claiborne

PS While my own mom has a fondness for fragranced, moisturizing body lotions, she has enough in her bathroom and on her vanity to last her a good long time. So instead I got her a "brag bag," a canvas shopping tote, personalized with a photo of her grandsons.

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen, and maybe participate yourself, click here.

Go, Cubs, Go!

This 5-1 victory over the Dodgers was a real day-brightener. I enjoyed the last 2 1/2 hours very much. Thank you, gentleman. Have a safe flight back to Chicago.

What a difference a day (or two) makes

Yesterday felt better than Monday, and today I feel even better than yesterday. I hear/feel a bit of gurgling in my belly, but that could just be the Premium saltines on their natural journey. I'm going to add a banana and maybe some Fig Newtons to my water and ginger ale diet today.

It's amazing how happy such things can make you after a bout of food poisoning! Also, I haven't watched baseball in days. The Cubs have been in LA and the games just start soooooo late for this sick old fan. But today's is a day game! I'll have it on MLB.com while work.

"It's a beautiful day for a ball game, for a ball game, today/the fans are out to get a ticket or two/from Walla Walla, Washington to Kalamazaoo .."


Image: digitalart / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Never forget -- it's all about ME

Sunday night was spent on the bathroom floor, racked by nausea and cramps, vomiting and diarrhea. I'm pretty sure this nightmare was caused by an undercooked piece of chicken. After cleaning myself off and brushing my teeth over and over again, I retired to the sofa. I finally made it to work at about 3:00.

ANYWAY ... while all this was going on, I thought about the President. In a span of little more than 24 hours, he signed Bin Laden's death warrant, visited the tornado-ravaged South, and delivered a monologue at the White House Correspondents' Dinner.

I don't think he's allowed to get a bad piece of chicken. He has too much to do.

I'm too big a baby to be President.

Movie Monday -- All about Flight

Share on your blog films focused on flight, things that fly or become airborne, linking back here.

One of my favorite movies is a celebration of being airborne. I'm only sorry I couldn't find a good shot to represent "Let's Go Fly a Kite."

The Death of Bin Laden

Yes, I'm glad. The bastard killed thousands that tragic day (and who knows how many first-responders will continue to suffer as a result of his handiwork?) and terrorized the rest of us and was actually proud of his hateful carnage.

But I refuse to be jubilant. I cannot celebrate. We're better than that. The violent loss of life ennobles no one. In mourning those who died on 9/11, we sang this verse of "America, The Beautiful" in church. It bears repeating.


O beautiful for heroes proved In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved,
And mercy more than life!
America! America! May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness,
And ev'ry gain divine!

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "18 Questionable Questions" Meme
Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be? Betrayed me how? Cheated? Spilled my secrets? Raided my piggy bank?

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be? That this will be The Year.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you? Bullies.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars? Send my niece to school, set up a college fund for my nephew, take care of my mother, spread some of it around among local animal shelters. buy season tickets at Wrigley Field, quit my job, live in a high-rise with a great view and a doorman ... Sigh ... It's a nice daydream, isn't it?

5. Could you fall in love with your best friend? I suppose, if things were very different

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? Loving someone

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love? I don't intend to wait for someone I really love

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? Be sad

9. If you'd like to act (movies, stage) with someone, who would it be? Carrie Mulligan. She's very good

10. What do you expect of your loved one? Tenderness

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time? Here. But I'd like to have a new sofa by then.

12. What’s your fear? Losing my independence

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor? Single and rich. Because I can imagine that. I don't know what married but poor would be like.

14. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Stumble into the shower.

15. Do you ever hold back in a relationship? I have ... Is it me, or are these questions more than a little negative regarding relationships?

16. If you fell in love with two people simultaneously, how would you pick? I'd go with whoever is behind Door #2, where Carol Merill is standing.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done? Not if it leaves me vulnerable to more horror.

18. What are your three most important expectations in love? Tenderness, acceptance, and laughter.

Nerd Prom

I'm watching The White House Correspondents' Dinner and am pleased to report that Senator Scott Brown also looks good fully clothed.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

1. Have you ever been in a situation with a lover where you did not know what tomorrow would bring? Yes. Every time I've been in love there have been moments that I felt that way. I guess it's what happens when you share your life with someone else.

2. What worries you most today? My mom's health and finances.

3. Could I tell if you were lying to me? Not if I don't want you to.

4. What do you miss most about the 80s? My waist

5. What's going on that you can't understand? Why -- even though I'm eating better -- I keep getting fatter and fatter. I've gone up a dress size since I answered question 4.

6. How would I know if you liked me? If I hover and fuss and worry. I'm a worrier when it come to those I care about.

7. If you ever won an award, what would you want it to be for? For being (as Wilbur eulogized Charlotte) "a good writer and a true friend."

8. What would we be surprised to know that you've done? I once rode an elephant.

9. What’s the most exotic mixed drink you remember trying? Did you enjoy it? Kir royale. Yes.

There are lives I'm not having

So here I am, huddled over my MacBook, eating a Chicken of the Sea tuna cup with a plastic spoon as I watch highlights of The Wedding. Glamorous, huh?

I am very happy to see Diana's "Wills" happy. For me, today's a continuation of her story.

Words fail me

But, fortunately, they don't fail the theater critic at the Chicago Tribune. For I saw this show last night (same performance he did) and enjoyed it far more than one could possibly expect. After all, it is a musical about bi-polar disorder. I want to blog about it, but I'm having a hard time explaining the experience. So I'll just let Chris Jones do it for me.

Central performance by Tony-winner anchors emotional tour de force

Chris Jones Theater critic

8:37 a.m. CDT, April 28, 2011

"Can you keep the cup from tipping?" sing Diana and Dan, the loving but fraught married couple at the center of the emotionally wrenching musical "Next to Normal," "Can you keep your grip from slipping?"

It's just a rhetorical question in a clever song lyric, I suppose, but in modern-day America, a good many of us are not so sure. On some days, at least.

I'd had such a day Wednesday — when overextension comes uneasily close to panic, when the frowns of disappointed colleagues and family members start piling up, when a plethora of inconsequential but time-consuming trees fully obscure whatever woods might be visible this soggy April in Chicago. That could explain why "Next to Normal" hit me so hard Wednesday night, even though it was the second time I've seen the show. There are a lot of superlatives that can justly be applied to this contemporary musical from Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey, the winners of the 2009 Pulitzer Prize in drama, but surely no other musical has better caught the way we all now try to shove our family time into smaller and smaller boxes, ever more fractured, Blackberry-interrupted segments. Despite our self-assurances that we can have everything, we know that the inevitable consequence is increased isolation in a world where self-sufficiency is completely impossible.

It is concerned with mental illness, but "Next to Normal" is so moving because it paints a picture of a deeply loving suburban family (mother, father, son, teenage daughter), and then proceeds to reveal just had much they fail to help each other. Simple as that, really. Yet it socks you in the gut with the force of recognition.

If it were not for the ending — this was a Broadway musical, after all — you could almost consider "Next to Normal" a kind of communal tragedy. As this quartet — with occasional guest appearances by psychologists — try to figure out the right balance between filling your own needs and taking care of the needs of others (good luck with that), this show certainly sends your mind spinning down a lot of lines of existential questioning: Why is pain distributed so unequally across families? Do you always tell your loved ones the truth, even when it hurts them? Are painful memories always preferable to forgetting? How on earth do you move on from an agonizing loss without wiping its memory from your mind, and therefore wiping away your lost loved one at the same time? How? Huh? Huh?

But on deeper contemplation, I've come to think that my experience Wednesday had a lot more to do with Alice Ripley. Ripley, who won the Tony award for her performance as Diana Goodman, the central character of "Next to Normal," and is starring in this top-drawer first national tour, has now disappeared so far inside her struggling, bi-polar character that it is as if she took one of the walks down the dark staircases that one of her procession of doctors, hypnotists and shrinks suggested, all in an attempt to arrive at some intersection between Diana and normal. It is a wholly different experience from the one on offer in New York, a couple of nights before opening. Ripley and Diana are in a wholly different and far deeper place. There are a variety of opinions, there will always be a variety of opinions, about Ripley's unusual vocal approach to this show. It breaks some of the usual rules. It does not blend. But then "Next to Normal," which is about a family struggling with mental illness in its midst and is largely expressionistic, doesn't work unless Diana is genuinely other and genuinely dangerous. Ripley is other and dangerous, all right. With every note that surges from her mouth. Not to mention confounding, quizzical, needy.

This a towering, gutsy, must-see performance — of the kind that a theater city like Chicago should support and that is rarely found in a modern touring show. But then this is the kind of rare tour that delivers the entire original experience — on balance, even a superior experience to the one on Broadway.

For his touring cast (only Ripley was part of the original Broadway cast), director Michael Greif has found comparably exquisite singers (this gently gorgeous, guitar-soaked score deserves no less) while moving noticeably closer to, well, normal.

On Broadway, I remember watching the glamorous Jennifer Damiano (now Mary Jane in SpiderMan) and thinking that her character's problems would never be so bad. But Emma Hunton, who now plays the daughter Natalie, feels much more like a real teenager for whom life really could go either way. Asa Somers, who plays husband Dan, is every inch the standard suburban dad, well-meaning and fundamentally decent, but ill-equipped in so many ways, as many of us are. Curt Hansen also creates a more normal Gabe, if anything about his presence could be said to be normal. Preston Sadleir is guilelessly charming as Natalie's well-meaning boyfriend, Henry. And Jeremy Kushnier — once the star of "Footloose," now a dignified shrink — brings a new emotional force to a doctor doing his best but using only that to which he has access, which may not be any good at all.

Not for Diana, not for any of us for whom normal is both a pejorative and an aspiration.

Thursday Thirteen #121

THIRTEEN QUOTES ABOUT THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD

The advertising agency Euro RSCG first presented "The Most Interesting Man in the World" in their Dos Equis beer commercials back in 2006. Five years later, he's still going strong. I admire the success of this campaign and the incremental buzz and sales it has generated for Dos Equis.

And he still makes me smile. Possibly because ...

1) He is a lover, not a fighter. But he's a fighter, too, so don't get any ideas.

2) Sharks have a week dedicated to him

3) He is the life of parties he hasn't even attended

4) He once visited a psychic -- to warn her

5) Alien abductors asked him to probe them

6) His sweat smells like cologne

7) He aced the Rorschach Test

8) His personality is so magnetic that he can't carry credit cards

9) Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact

10) His organ donor card includes his beard

11) He taught his German Shepherd to bark in Russian

12) Police often question him, just because they find him interesting

13) If he were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him

Stay thirsty, my friends, and enjoy visiting other TTs.

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen, and maybe participate yourself, click here.

I have a mom again

I am happy to report that my mother and I are getting along very well again.

As hard as saying that prolonged, painful goodbye to my uncle was for me, it was undoubtedly even harder for her because he was her baby brother. On top of that, she was in the process of watching her tenuous finances flow down the drain. I have been struggling off and on with my own shit, and I guess neither of us has been at our best these past six months or so. Early last month things came to a head and I came right out and told her that she has to think about how she talks to me. That some of her comments and attitudes have hurt me. She was surprised, but said she's work at it.

Well, damn, she has! We had a lovely Easter. She's being more supportive and I'm being more accepting and hopefully we're returning to a more placid relationship.

She's my mother and I always love her. She's also my mommy and sometimes I still need her. Now that we have both healed a bit after the tough fall and winter, I hope we can go forward in this more positive spirit and be a little more mindful and tender with one another.

I Want Wednesday

I want to wake up tomorrow, back in my cozy little house in Colonial Williamsburg. My vacation was a month ago already, and I realize anew that it was nowhere near long enough. I need more alone time in a completely different environment to really restart my emotional/physical battery. But it's not going to happen. So I shall just indulge in my moment of longing and forge ahead.

Who knew?

I did not realize that mommies and mommies-to-be now hand out personalized cards that say --

1) Where they are registered for baby shower gifts and
2) Who's mommy they are and their contact information

I have no issue with this. I'm sure it's efficient and makes a lot of sense. I just had no idea that New Millennium Mommies were so organized!

I miss her

With all the hubbub about the royal wedding, I find myself thinking of Diana. Shy Di. Princess Di. Our Queen of Hearts.

This picture is from the summer of 1982. That's 29 years ago. I can't believe it was that long ago, and I'm so sorry that she didn't get to live happily ever after.

You're gonna hear more from him

James McAvoy. I just saw him this evening in The Conspirator and he does a terrific job. It's a very cerebral, dialog-driven part -- a lot of serious talk in period dialect and an American accent. He was impressive.

This isn't the first time I have enjoyed his work. He was the center of the sweeping epic, Atonement and the voice of reason The Last King of Scotland.

My! Another handsome man with a fuzzy face!