Oversharing

I am careful with this blog. None of my family or close friends knows about it, and their names have all been changed so even if they did a search, they wouldn't find it. The goal here is self-expression, and sharing, but not to hurt anyone.

I wish I could say the same for Reg. My dear friend Henry's husband. He wields social media like a club and overshares, at least once a week, about how miserable life has been since Henry's accident. Instead of a blog, or even just his Facebook page, where he could control access, he announces his disappointment, depression and rage on the Gofundme page he set up to help pay for Henry's bills. Google Henry's name -- and people might, since he's a published author -- and the Gofundme page is one of the first listings. No one contributes anymore, haven't for months and months. But we all get alerts when Reg posts an update. So we can all read about how mean Henry has been, the insensitivity of  friends like me and Patrick, how self-centered the members of Henry's creative writing group are.

I understand Reg's need to share. Not his need to call Henry's friends out. And not to air Henry's dirty linens. I have known Henry for decades and am very, very sure he would find this a terrible breach of trust. I'm certain he has an expectation of privacy regarding what goes on with his husband in their home. I worry about the betrayal. Months ago I mentioned this to Reg. He said, "I don't care. I can't care." His need to reach a wide audience with his suffering is that great.

Today's update begins: "I feel a need to relate everything I am feeling towards Henry. I hope he never sees this. At least not until he is better."

I hope he never sees it. Ever. I think it would shatter his already wounded heart.