Friday, January 01, 2016

Eating crackers, drinking soda


That's how I'm ringing in the New Year. I think my stomach is almost well, but I didn't want to risk it, so I put on my pajamas at about 7:00 and settled in.

To be honest, I'm not that crazy about New Year's Eve and I'm not certain I'd be doing anything more thrilling even if my tummy was sturdy as cast iron.

Looking back on 2015, I'm not crazy about my life. It's not something that obsesses me, but the thing about New Year's is it encourages reflection.

•  The clutter around my house still controls me, and that's not good.

•  I still completely lack discipline. Instead of scrubbing a floor or divesting myself of shit I don't need, I spent the evening "helping" Sam Winters compose special occasion Saturday 9 memes for 2016. 

•  My oldest friend is not being especially nice to me. Just got my Christmas present from her today (a week late) and even though we exchanged emails today she has yet to ask me how my bloodwork/liver test came back. (She did, however, tell me that it hurts to sleep in her bra. Glad we have our priorities straight.) I know she is overwhelmed with her own shit right now, and she is who she is and I can't change her. I accept all that and, of course, I still love her. But I'm no saint, and it pisses me off that I mean so little to her, and that I can't depend on her.

There's a lot that's good, though, too.

•  First of all, everything I listed above that's bothering me is within my control to fix. I can clean my house (other people do it every day!) and only I can adjust my attitude toward my oldest friend. So that's good.

•  I am proud of The Big Project. Because of all the vacation time I'd stockpiled, I really worked very little in November and December and that gave me perspective. I accomplished a great deal without much help. It's not a glamorous initiative, but if it goes as projected, it will make my client a lot of money ... and that is the point of my job. So good for me!

•  John, the guys in the Keys, Kathleen, Mindy, Kathy, my aunt, my cousin ... maybe instead of fixating on how distant and erratic my best friend is, I should spend more time remembering and enjoying the people who do love me and are there.

•  The blogging community is cool and supportive, too. If you're reading this, I appreciate you. And Kwizgiver, Snarkypants and Endomental, especially, I'm grateful for how supportive you ladies always are.

•  Joey is curled up next to me as I post this. He's fine. We brought 2016 in together, just like the vet said we would. That's a gift.

So welcome, 2016! Let's see to it that by this time next year, my bathroom remodel is finally done!


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