Richard and Gary and Old Navy

Every year, the tree at Whole Foods is decorated with little hearts from the kids at the village children's home. Some kids live at the home 24/7, waiting for appropriate foster homes or for their parents to get it together and take them back. Others are there because their parents are taking advantage of the sliding scale daycare. Anyway, each heart has a kids' name, age, sizes and Wish List items. Since the children's home is, literally, next door, I always participate by taking an ornament and fulfilling a Christmas wish.

This year I grabbed Gary's. He's 14 and I think that must be a tough age to be at the children's home Christmas party. He doesn't believe in Santa anymore, and he just might be pretty angry about not having a family -- not with his real parents and not in a foster home. And what if no one chooses his heart? Everyone wants to shop for a little one. But what if none of my neighbors want to pitch in for a teenager? So I went to Old Navy and got him a sweater and sweats (all on sale). I also tossed in a $5 giftcard to a local hamburger place. You know, just in case my taste in teen boy clothes isn't all that he'd like it to be.

When I dropped his present off at Whole Foods (the damn gift bag cost $3!), I had to pass the tree again. It occurred to me that maybe I want to buy for a cute little kid, too.

So then I grabbed Richard's. He's 6. He asked Santa for a sweater and jeans. Doesn't that break your heart? He wants clothes, not toys. So back to Old Navy. I got him a sweater but all the jeans are too expensive, so I got him a long-sleeved t-shirt decorated with a football, a soccer ball, a basketball and a baseball. Unless he's exclusively a hockey fan, I've got him covered. And then, since he's only 6 and should get a toy, I tossed in a 99¢ bus. I like thinking of him pushing it around on the floor at the holiday party.

I've kinda had the blues. I'm just not very happy with my life. Nothing is bad -- the cats are healthy, my friends are great, I'm feeling strong. But both my home and my finances have gotten away from me and I can't seem to get it together in either arena.

But I was able to help Richard and Gary. And that's something I was able to accomplish.