I Want Wednesday

I want to feel better! About my health, about my life!

Nothing is going smoothly. Things have been scary-slow at work since January 1. At first it didn't bother me. I figured the client was just getting act together, figuring out how best to use us this year. But now, as the work only comes in dribs and drabs, I'm starting to freak out. My boss acts as though this isn't happening. My account team tells us that there's a log jam in terms of getting go-aheads for projects but soon we'll be "slammed." I'm not so sure. And it makes me nervous.

Little things are pissing me off. Example: I ordered a set of DVDs in early January and they still haven't arrived. I email the mailorder house and they keep assuring me it's being processed and shipped, but they have no solid ETA. I don't want to call them -- I'm always surrounded by coworkers in this shared office and I don't like making personal calls with an audience. But I may have to. I don't have $90 to waste on crap that never arrives. (One could argue I shouldn't have spent the $90 in the first place.)

Similarly, I wanted to work out today but I overcommitted on personal favors to others. My best friend asked me to help him work on a proposal for a pro-bono project at his daughters' private school. He's been out of work for six months now and is starting to doubt himself, so of course I'll help him. And then there's my friend in the Keys. He wants me to review/proofread/edit the sample chapter of the book he wants to submit to an agent. I'm ambivalent about doing this because the odds are astronomical against him getting this published, and he's so hopeful and so positive that I'm afraid he'll get his heart broken. But I'm his friend so I'm ploughing ahead.

Meanwhile I feel like Fatty McFatterson. Yes, I could go to the gym tonight. But this persistant cough just leaves me tired, tired, tired when I get home.

I feel like Bruce in "Dancing in the Dark."
I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face. 
Man, I ain't getting nowhere, living in a dump like this. There's something happening somewhere, Baby, I just know there is. 
I ain't nothing but tired, I'm just tired and bored with myself.

That's it! I'll watch this over and over again. He always looks so hopeful when he reminds me that I can't start a fire without a spark. It's up to me to change things, isn't it, Boss?

HEY, BABY!