Thursday Thirteen #348

13 charities I supported last year. President Biden has said, "Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I'll tell you what you value." That quote is top of mind for me this time of year as I pull together receipts for my tax preparer. 

I gave to 27 charities last year* and here are the top 13, highest to lowest. The President is right: this list does reflect my values.

1. My church.

2. My local food pantry. Because these are my neighbors.

3. Harmony House for Cats. Chicagoland has many animal shelters, but I give the most support to this one. They do great work but are somehow under the radar when it comes to PR.

4. Feeding America. This organization supports food pantries and meal programs all over the country.

5. Doctors Without Borders. I'm so glad I give to this one regularly. Whenever I see stories about suffering in faraway places like Gaza or Ukraine, I want to help! Then I realize I already have, because Doctors Without Borders is already there.

6. Greenpeace. I do this in memory of my mom. She worried about the impact of climate change on endangered species.

7. Anthony Rizzo Family Foundation. If you read this blog, this one is not a surprise. My favorite ballplayer of all time is devoted to paying it forward, and he inspires me to help. His foundation helps families battling cancer with all the things insurance doesn't cover, including parking and meals at the hospital, rent and mortgage relief, and Christmas presents. Rizz survived cancer as a teen and his experience has informed where the money goes.

8. Planned Parenthood. I am personally opposed to abortion, but that is based on my faith. In America, we should not legislate one religion's tenet over another. Speaking with my Jewish friends about abortion has strengthened my belief that outlawing it is UNAmerican because it blurs the line between Church and State. Also, I just want every woman to have reproductive healthcare so every mom will be healthy and every baby will be wanted.

9. The Night Ministry. Because the homeless are our neighbors and this group helps provide shelter and healthcare.

10. Colonial Williamsburg Foundation. I can be pretty corny when it comes to patriotism, but I genuinely believe this true: knowing where we've been helps us decide where we want to go. This foundation is so effective in bringing the 18th century to life.

11. Marine Toys for Tots. First in advertising and now at the card shop, I have been involved in commercializing Christmas for nearly 45 years. This is my penance. If I'm going to promote Christmas as on occasion for stuff, I should try to put stuff in kids' hands so they will feel included.

12. ASPCA. Supporting your local animal shelter is important. But when something huge happens -- like the wildfires on Maui -- the ASPCA is there to help. As with Doctors Without Border, supporting the ASPCA helps me feel less helpless in the face of catastrophe.

13. PAWS Chicago. Another local shelter that does very good work. My friend Elaine just adopted her cat, Tuffy, from there!

Before you give to any charity, make sure it's worthy of your money. Check it out at Give.org.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

*Lest you think too highly of me, three of those 27 got just $5 each.

 

An unlikely source of gratitude

 

Look at me, doing laundry! In my own (shared) laundry room, for the first time since January 5. It may sound counterintuitive, but every chapter of this of this laundry saga has filled me with gratitude.

During last month's arctic freeze, pipes all over Chicagoland burst and we weren't spared. That's why it took us forever to get a plumber out here. Our only burst pipe leads to the laundry room, so we were at the bottom of the queue. Gratitude #1: Many neighbors who live in older buildings, like ours, found themselves without heat or unable to flush. At least our health and comfort weren't at stake.

So this sent me to the laundromat. Since I don't drive, I had to load my dirty clothes into a Hefty garbage bag and then drag it in a rolling shopping cart to the laundromat. This trip took 15 minutes each way through streets that were often muddy. I am entirely too old for this shit. Gratitude #2: I used to do this every weekend. For 25 years! I had to get up early on Saturday morning to be sure that I got washing machines near one another. At least now that I'm retired, I could do it at my leisure and on a weekday afternoon, when it's not crowded.

The laundromat itself is a soul-sucking experience. It's the same one I went to back in the day, but it's fallen into serious disrepair. Probably a full third of the machines are out of order. The TVs are always on but it's disorienting because one has sound and no picture and the other has picture but no sound. The vending machines are mostly empty except for a couple forlorn, Jurassic-era packages of Doritos. Gratitude #3: I knew this was a short-term hiccough. I'm no longer one of the regulars.

The woman onsite is responsible for making change (of course the coin machine was glitchy) and doing the dirty clothes that are dropped off and she is small and old. Now I'm 5'1 and 66, so imagine how small and old she must be to look small and old to me. I heard her tell someone on the phone that she works every day until 7:00 PM. Imagine being in those rather depressing surroundings, dealing with the stained underwear of complete strangers, hour after hour, day in and day out. Gratitude #4: I have no training in anything but advertising writing, and I don't want to do that anymore. I'm so lucky that CeeCee took a chance on this small old lady and gave me a job the card shop. I get to spend my time among scented candles and pretty wrapping paper and it's been fun this month to help parents and kids pick out Valentine gifts for classmates. My favorite: this set of heart-shaped crayon rings. A kid can break up the set and tape one to each of his Valentines, and his classmates can trade them for the color they want. Isn't that better than folding fitted sheets?

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Laura by Vera Caspary. It's a miserably hot summer day. Most fashionable New Yorkers have skipped town for the weekend, escaping to the beach or the country. Yet it seems one of the city's popular women changed her mind at the last minute and didn't go to Connecticut, after all. That change in plans was deadly because Laura Hunt's maid unlocked the front door to discover a corpse was found just inside her front door, the face viciously blown off by buckshot.

In order to find who killed Laura Hunt, Detective Mark McPherson spends time with those closest to her: fiance Shelby Carpenter, mentor and confidante Waldo Lydecker and Laura's elegant aunt, Susan Treadwell. McPherson also goes through her diary, appointment calendar and bank books. He finds the victim to be so much more than the frivolous party girl he initially thought and becomes obsessed with finding her killer.

I've read this book before and seen the movie Laura more times than I can count. Yet I'm still enjoying this immensely. The writing transports me back to the 1940s and the plot delivers some most satisfying twists.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading?  Murder Stage Left by Robert Goldsborough. A successful Broadway producer can't shake a sense of foreboding about his latest hit. He's convinced something backstage is very wrong and if he doesn't put an end to the backbiting and sniping, the show will close early and cost him millions. The producer consults genius detective Nero Wolfe to investigate the backstage shenanigans of his cast in hopes of solving the problem before it destroys his play. 

 

At first Wolfe doesn't want to do it. After all, no crime is involved. But he is convinced by the promise of something dearer to him than money -- in exchange for this quick, seemingly uncomplicated job he'll get a rare orchid to add to his already impressive plant room. So he takes the case against his better judgement and, much to his chagrin, people start dying.

I always enjoy Nero Wolfe mysteries. This one is no exception. It's set in 1962 -- important to note because one major plot point could have been resolved with a quick Google search. Oh, wait! I forgot! 

I was sure I had it figured out at about the halfway point and was annoyed with Goldsborough (who has taken over the series from its originator, the late Rex Stout) for being so sloppy. Just call me Wrongy McWrongerson. I love to be fooled and once again, Nero Wolfe bested me.

3. What will you read next? Mary Lincoln: Biography of Marriage by Ruth Painter Randall.

 

Sunday Stealing

Compassion International

1. What is a big dream you have for the future? To see a second Biden inauguration. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is for this country that he prevail.

2. What are your favorite hobbies? Reading, baseball, movies

3. If you could change the world, what would you do? Eliminate the tit-for-tat politics of grievance that have gripped us. I don't know if Donald Trump leads this movement or reflects it, but it's ugly and unproductive and unworthy of us.

4. What places have you traveled to?  What was your favorite? This is so broad! So I'll take the easy way and give you the happiest place on earth.

5. What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten? I once ate breaded alligator at The Taste of Chicago. I don't really recall whether or not I liked it. I just remember thinking, "Look at me! I'm eating alligator!"

6. What are your favorite places to eat? There's a sports bar a few blocks from here that serves both fantastic clam chowder and delicious tater tots. (Though I've never had them together.)

7. What kind of music do you like? Talk about a favorite artist or songs. February marks the 60th anniversary of The British Invasion. I don't think it's possible to overestimate their impact. From their hair and clothes to their irreverence to (most of all) their music, they rescued a United States that was reeling from a national tragedy with songs that will live forever. My favorite Beatle songs are "All My Loving," "I Will," and "Two of Us." (Yes, I'm a Paul Girl.) I genuinely feel sorry for people who don't enjoy The Beatles.

8. What was the last book you read? Laura by Vera Caspary. Originally published in the 1940s, it's great fun if not high art. Caspary transports us back to glamorous New York City where everyone -- from the newsboy on the corner to partygoers in elegant Manhattan salons -- is talking about The Laura Hunt Murder case. Caspary tosses a twist our way that many other mystery authors have since borrowed.

9. If you could meet a character from a book, who would it be? Jo from Little Women.

10. Do you prefer books or movies? Why? Love them both and refuse to choose one over the other.

11. What is something you used to be scared of, but aren’t any more? I'm sorry but I don't have anything for this.

12. What is something you were never afraid of, but are now? I don't have anything for this one, either. So instead I'll answer with this: I used to hate Kathie Lee Gifford more than any other celebrity except Madonna. I realized while watching one of her Balance of Nature commercials that I no longer hate her, so now Madonna stands alone.

13. What item is your most cherished possession? Why? My grandfather's ceramic cable car. He kept his cuff links and tie clasps in there and would let me play with it.

14. What awards or contests have you won? I did pretty well in advertising. I won a CLIO, a DMA Echo and a few CADM Tempos. They were very important to me at the time, but now they're in boxes somewhere in this condo. That indicates how my life has changed and time marches on, right?

15. Do you like working jigsaw puzzles? Nope. I have cats who would be too helpful during this endeavor.

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: At Last (1960)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 
1) Etta James sings that "life is like a song." What song reflects how you feel about life these days?

 

 

 To you it's Valentine's Day. To me, February 14 is the day Cubs pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training.

 

2) She is delighted to have found the love she has always dreamed of. Have you found true love to be the way you imagined it would be? Or has it surprised you? I never expected this, but find I like myself better when I'm in love. To borrow from the Kenny Loggins/Stevie Nicks song, "Whenever I Call You Friend," maybe it's because I see myself within his eyes.

 

3) Etta's mother encouraged her to not just sing but perform a song, telling her daughter, "Even if a song has been done a thousand times, you can still bring something of your own to it." Is there a singer whose performances often touch your heart? I give you my favorite love song by one of my favorite singers. It's been done a million times, but it's her version that gets me every time.

4) As a teen, she was considered a gospel prodigy and churches all around Los Angeles requested she "guest" at their services. Do you have a favorite religious song? I suppose it isn't technically a religious song, but "America, The Beautiful" is in our hymnal and for special days our congregation sings the whole thing. There's one verse that touches my heart and breaks it all at once: "O beautiful for heroes proved in liberating strife/who more than self their country love and mercy more than life/America! America! May God thy gold refine/Till all success be nobleness and every gain divine." Amen.

5) "At Last" is one of the most often requested songs for the newlywed's first dance at the reception. What song reminds you of a sweetheart? A guy once blurted that I made him feel like Billy Joel because whenever he "just wants someone that he can talk to," he wanted me. So every time I hear "Just The Way You Are," I think of him and that compliment.

This is the last Saturday 9 before Valentine's Day and so this morning we shall focus on the upcoming holiday.

 

6) It's been reported that millions of roses are grown specifically for Valentine's Day each year. What's your favorite flower? Carnations.

 

7) The earliest recorded celebration of Valentine's Day was in Paris in the year 1400. Obviously you weren't around for that one. What do you remember from one of your earliest, childhood Valentine's Day celebrations? Decorating a shoebox and cutting a slit in the lid to collect Valentines from classmates.

 

8) About 20% of pet owners say they give their dogs, cats, birds or bunnies a Valentine. Is your pet getting something special on February 14? Every day is a special day for Roy Hobbs and Connie. Here they are, enjoying the sunshine on the windowsill after a spate of dark days.

9) Of all the professions, teachers are #1 when it comes to receiving Valentine cards. Did you ever have a crush on a teacher? Of course! Didn't we all?

Thursday Thirteen #347

  

13 Maddonisms. I love Joe Maddon. The former Cub manager (2015-19) is one of my favorite people on the planet. Since he turns 70 on February 8, I am honoring him with 13 of his more memorable quotes. I don't think they are exclusive to baseball.

1. Don't let the pressure exceed the pleasure. Remember that you should enjoy your life's work.

2. Try not to suck. Stay out of your own way, do the elements of your job well -- in baseball, that's defense, pitching and hitting -- and you'll be fine.

3. If it looks hot, wear it. Dress codes and other superficial trappings shouldn't mask your individuality. Your individuality is one of the unique gifts only you can bring to the team.

4. Respect 90. There's 90 feet between bases. Hustle at all times. Don't take any aspect of your job for granted.

5. You have to be a little crazy to be successful. Another reinforcement of his players' individuality.

6. I never tell fans to temper it. I never tell players to temper it. I'm not into temperance. Passion is good.

7. See it with first time eyes. Don't allow yourself to become jaded.

8. Ignore outcome bias. Don't assume you were wrong because you tried new/different instead of tried/true and it didn't work. You can't know if tried/true would have worked better. So keep trying to come up with new/different.

9. Do simple better. Pare down a task to the basics and then do them well.

10. The process is fearless. Don't focus on the outcome. Focus on the individual plays. If you do everything right, you'll be pleased with outcome.

11. Embrace the target. Get comfortable with the idea of success. Don't let it intimidate you.

12. Don't tell me what you heard. Tell me what you think. No regurgitation. Reach your own conclusions.

13. What you put out there comes back to you. If you put out positive energy, you'll get positive vibes in return.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Happy, timely texts

I admit it: when I'm not actively concentrating or doing something, my mind wanders back to Henry and his current situation. The danger, of course, is that I can miss what's going on in my here and now. And isn't there always something positive going on in the here and now?

It surprises me that joy was delivered via my phone. I've never been one of those people who always has phone in hand.

•  Photos from a former coworker. This story begins before it began. About ten days ago I had lunch with Carla. We used to work together at the ad agency. I ordered a pumpkin martini, which was a beautiful concoction made with vodka, Bailey's Irish Cream and pumpkin liqueur. It was so pretty that Carla wanted a photo of it. When I posed with the drink, I tossed my head back and laughed, as though I was a movie star celebrating an awards win. Me and my pumpkin martini were quite a hit among my Facebook faithful.

Out of the blue I got a text from another former co-worker. I haven't heard from her in more than a year. She said seeing that photo of me looking so happy made her day. She attached pictures of her two kids and let me know what was happening in her career. I was very touched by this. Just seeing me smile made her day. Hearing that, and seeing her two gorgeous and fast-growing kids, made my day.

•  A connection to Jen. She's the assistant manager I work with most often at the card shop. When I first started, she made me crazy, and I suspect the crazy was mutual. She is very Type A. Everything is important, and the stuff she freaks out over is so inconsequential it's hard for me not to laugh. Example: we have a table in the back of the store where customers can experiment with our crafting items. Yesterday's store employees didn't wash the ink off the Valentine stamps! GASP! Jen completely spun out over this. Um ... aren't the stamps created to be inked? And why is this such a tragedy?

Anyway, in order to diffuse the situation and calm her down, I always look for a way to turn the conversation from the mess ... the clutter ... the incompetence back to her. How did she learn to set up a retail display so well? Does she ever bring your kids to the store? Etc., etc. We got to talking about her husband and she complained about what a disorganized mess he can be. I told her I was like him. I am lazy with housekeeping and loathe to throw things away.

Jen finds this fascinating. At the end of my shift we agree on a little project for me at home (first it was throwing away my useless covid-era cloth masks, then it was my sock drawer) and upon completion I text her a photo of a job well done. She always answers instantly and with a ♥. She enjoys rehabilitating this slob. I think it's because I'm more malleable than her husband.

But that's not the point. We spend hours together at the store. It's easier when we like one another. And Jen and I are forming a bond. 

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Murder Stage Left by Robert Goldsborough. A Broadway producer is on the verge of the biggest hit of his career. Yet something backstage is wrong, very wrong. His cast is at one another's throats. Who is causing the friction? What can the producer do to alleviate it before the production blows up, and costs him millions of dollars? He consults genius detective Nero Wolfe to investigate the lives, loves and backstage shenanigans of his cast in hopes of solving the problem before it destroys his play. 

 

Then someone gets dead, and the case takes a sharp turn.

 

Since this is a Nero Wolfe mystery, I am now happily ensconced in the world of Archie Goodwin. Archie is our narrator and the secretary/chauffeur/legman of the famous detective, Nero Wolfe. I've always been a little in love with Archie. He loves baseball and poker and has a weakness for the ladies. He also has a quick mind and a smart mouth. He's wonderful company as he tells us about Wolfe's latest case.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading?  Everyone Here Is Lying by Shari Lapena. Welcome to Stanhope. It's a lovely suburb where everyone has a nice home, a nice car, and a dirty secret. Take that nice Dr. Wooler. He's successful and charismatic, with a beautiful family ... a crumbling marriage and a mistress. 

Behind closed doors, Dr. Wooler and his wife fight all the time, and always about Avery, their 9-year-old daughter. Avery has oppositional defiant disorder. The girl is angry, willful and arrogant and her parents can't agree on how to handle her. When Avery disappears from their home one sunny afternoon, their home and happy facade crumbles.

Where is Avery? Who is she with? Is she safe? 

Stanhope's finest are committed to finding the girl but it's not easy. While everyone in Stanhope is cooperating with the investigation, everyone is lying.

It's a twisty paranoid thriller. Not as good as the other Lapena books I've read, but solid.

3. What will you read next? Speaking of twisty thrillers, next up is a classic in the genre: Laura by Vera Caspary.

 

Sunday Stealing

STOLEN FROM COMPASSION INTERNATIONAL

1. What three words best describe you? Not very tall

2. What makes you unique? The way my mind works. To borrow from Apple, I think different.

3. Who is someone important in your life? Ceecee and Jen, the women I work with most often at the card shop. In the last three months, I have come to feel close to them and involved in their lives.

4. What is something that always makes you laugh? 

5. Who is someone who can always cheer you up? My oldest friend.

6. When was a time you were really proud of yourself? When I wrote that letter to the card shop back in October, explaining to them why they needed to hire me. It felt rather daring at the time and I'm still kinda surprised it worked.

7. What is something that is difficult for you? Accepting that I can't fix people and situations. I dearly want to.

8. What three places would you love to travel to? I'd like to return to Colonial Williamsburg, and Boston, and Key West.

9. What is a fun memory you have with your best friend? Laughing together at stupid shit.  The woman cracks me up.

10. If you could have dessert for breakfast, what would you eat? Strawberry shortcake.

11. If you published a book or wrote a movie, what would it be about? Pets. I adore my cats in particular and have mad respect for dogs and cats in general for how they love us and adapt to living with us.

12. Which is easier, math or English? English

13.What three things make you the happiest? Cats, baseball, the Beatles

14. What is an event in your life that has shaped who you are today? After high school, I got two job offers: receptionist in a dentist office and secretary for Sears, Roebuck and Co. corporate. I took the latter because it was in Sears Tower and I've always been enamored with Chicago's Loop. While I was at Sears, I took the copywriter test and began working on the Sears Catalog, which got me started on my advertising career. I often wonder about the road not taken -- what if I'd taken the job with the dentist?

15. Which is more important, being kind or being honest? Kind.

Pictures worth 1000 words

My dear friend Henry has left the hospital and is now in a nursing home. I don't know where, exactly. I just don't feel up to talking to his husband Reg right now. Especially after what he did this afternoon.

Reg posted current photos of Henry. They are brutal. Half of Henry's head remains shaved. Stitches are still visible. His beard is long and gray. The trach tube is still in his throat. His eyes are unfocused. His head is tilted so far to one side his ear is nearly on his shoulder. There is a tube draining fluid from his other ear.

Henry would hate it if he understood that his vulnerability had been shared with 500+ of Reg's Facebook friends.

But it's clear that Henry would not understand it even if someone were cruel enough to tell him.

Along with the photos, Reg reports that Henry looks at him with contempt and thinks he's alternately Papa and Raymond, Henry's lover who died of AIDS more than 30 years ago. Reg questions how much longer he can remain tied to this "monster."

I hated Reg posting all that because it's ugly. On the other hand, maybe I needed to know it. If Henry cannot recognize/remember his husband, he certainly no longer knows me. This is a reality I must accept.

Henry is gone to me. I get it now.

I miss the rage I used to feel toward Reg.  It was neither kind nor productive, but it was big and identifiable and familiar.

I feel nothing right now. 

I am scared of what I will feel when the numbness wears off and I truly get what this means.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Poor Little Fool (1958)

1) Ricky Nelson sings of a girl with "carefree devil eyes." Are your eyes your best feature? If not, what is? My complexion. In my teens I hated having oily skin. But now that I'm a senior I'm grateful. I'm a little jowly in my old age, but I'm quite unlined.

2) "Poor Little Fool" literally arrived at Ricky's doorstep. A pretty girl knocked on his front door, and played and sang her original composition for him. Who has most recently knocked on your front door (or rung the bell)? My neighbor from the end of the hall. He brought me a package that had been delivered. My neighbors are nice that way.

3) That girl was Sharon Sheeley. A teen model in Los Angeles during the 1950s, she met many of the early rock stars at promotional events. Elvis encouraged her to follow her heart and start writing songs, so she did. Who have you advised recently? Did they take your advice? I have been trying to help my friend Elaine as she introduces a new cat into her household. She's not listening to me one whit. Oh well, maybe I'm full of shit.



4) With the success of "Poor Little Fool," Sharon gave up modeling and concentrated on music. Her songs were recorded by singers such as Richie Valens, Glen Campbell and Johnny Rivers. How many different occupations have you tried? Which was your favorite? I've been an administrative office worker, a writer and now a sales girl. I'm enjoying my job at the card shop more than I thought I would. I was a writer for 40+ years and got great satisfaction from it. I really did not enjoy secretarial work. I was OK at it, but I was bored and I really didn't like my bosses very much.

5) Ricky Nelson was the son of Ozzie and Harriet and brother of David Nelson. They began performing together as a family with their radio program The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. They took the show to television in 1952, where they were referred to as "The Most Famous Family in America." What TV family would you like to hang around with? I'd like to be the oldest Geller daughter (Friends). I wonder if Dad would give me a cool nickname, like how he calls Monica his "Harmonica." Plus I'd have Rachel* and Chandler as my in-laws.

6) While Ricky eventually became the audience favorite, he wasn't initially a likely candidate for stardom. A producer described him as "an odd little kid," shy and small for his age. In those early days, big brother David was more outgoing and considered a natural actor. Thinking back to your preteen years, were you more like David or Rick? I was more like David. I can be introverted but I've never been shy and making friends has always come easily to me.

 7) Ricky never got over his shyness. He often closed his eyes as he sang on camera or before an audience because it helped him battle his nerves and concentrate on the music. Fan magazine oohed and aahed over his beautiful long lashes and young girls fantasized about Ricky closing his eyes before leaning in for a kiss. Who was your big pre-teen crush? Sir Paul McCartney.

8) In 1958, when "Poor Little Fool" was #1, American women were shopping for Italian-inspired footwear. Heels were lower, and the leather was textured and less shiny that the popular patent leather of years gone by. If you were to go shoe shopping today, what would you be looking for? Can I shop for socks instead? They are footwear, after all. I really need to organize and replenish my sock drawer.

9) Random question -- Which of these parties sounds like the most fun: a) one you host yourself; b) one at a friend's home; c) a surprise party in your honor? B! Definitely b. All the fun and none of the work.

 

*Yes, I believe Ross and Rachel eventually married.

3:25, 5:07, 5:46 and 7:38

Those are the times I received "thank you" emails from my friend Kathy. Each time she acknowledges the birthday gift I sent her. It appears that she doesn't recall sending the previous emails, which is disturbing. She is addled. Does she have Alzheimer's? Dementia? I don't know because she refuses to see a doctor. But something is wrong within that head of hers.

But I'm glad I sent her the gift, nonetheless. I scrolled through her Facebook feed -- she is on Facebook all the time -- and downloaded photos from 2023 that featured her with her family. Then I sent the pictures to Snapfish, where they were made into magnets with captions (Mother's Day 2023, 4th of July 2023, etc.). That way she can look at her refrigerator and remember her daughter and grandchildren.

Back in December I restricted her access to my Facebook page. I kinda had to. So much of what she posted was silly, ill-advised or argumentative and it caused me stress. But I can deal with repetitive emails. Email is a more private venue and I can just ignore them. After all, she doesn't remember sending them.

I must remember her world is getting smaller and she's frightened. I also have to remind myself that none of her problems are my responsibility. I can help her in the ways that feel comfortable for me but I'm not obligated to take on more than I can handle.

Yes, every word of the above paragraph parrots what I've been discussing with my shrink. Fake it till you make it and all that. But I do see the wisdom in it and it's becoming more natural.

Thursday Thirteen #346

The 13 most popular video games. Over the holidays I listened to my nephew (24) and nephew-in-law (31) talking about their gaming lives. I felt like a stranger in a strange land, where the denizens spoke an English dialect I didn't quite get. So I did a little research and discovered these are the most popular games in the US (3Q 2023).

I've heard of many of these games, but I've only ever played #4.

1. Super Mario Bros.

2. Sega. 

 

3. Mario Kart 8.

4. Candy Crush. 

5. Super Smash Bros.

6. Marvel's Spider Man.

7. Spider Man.

8. Mortal Kombat.

9. Call of Duty. 

 

10. Grand Theft Auto.

 

11. Grand Theft Auto V. 

 

12. Mario Kart 8.

13. Bejeweled.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

Drowning in First World Problems

I haven't been posting much lately, or visiting any of your blogs, either. I have been thwarted by a million irritants. You know the kind I mean. To borrow from John McClane in Die Hard, I am dealing with flies in the ointment, monkeys in the wrenches, pains in my ass. 

Let me start by saying nothing is really wrong. I am fine. The cats are fine. My bills are paid. I'm not afraid when the phone rings that it's bad news. I'm just really annoyed and stressed, drowning in the bullshit that overwhelms each of us every now and again.

1.  The laundry room. Like much of the country, Chicagoland was beset by a multi-day stretch of arctic cold. I do not like this, of course, but I prefer subzero to 90º+ and the thing of it is, we can count on both here every year. Along with the freeze came burst pipes. All over Chicagoland, people were without heat or running water because of burst pipes. We were lucky in that the only pipe in our building that broke was in the laundry room. No one's health or immediate comfort was ever threatened.

However, our washers weren't functional. In fact, they stopped working mid-wash and were filled with water and clothes. Our management company could not get anyone to come out here and work on them for weeks because dirty clothes are not a priority, not compared to people who are shivering in their own homes or can't flush.

Finally the plumber came out. YAY! Oh, not so fast. He fixed the pipe and checked to see the washers weren't damaged. But we still can't use the machines because the fitting that connects the washer to the pipe is cracked and needs to be replaced. It's on backorder because of course it is. It was supposed to be here last week ("Thursday or Friday"). It wasn't.

I haven't done laundry in my building since January 5. This month has seen me at the laundromat -- several blocks away -- twice. Twice I have trudged for 15 minutes over muddy streets with my clothes in a shopping cart to wash them in a depressing, expensive ($3 per load to wash and 25¢ for 10 mins. to dry) laundromat. And then trudged another 15 minutes home, trailing my cart behind me.

When will our washers be up and running again? I don't know. Let's consult a Ouija Board. Do you have a Magic 8 Ball handy?

2.  My teeth. Of course. There's always something going on with my teeth! Now specifically it is two molars in the back. I had gold crowns placed on them back when I was working on the Clinton Campaign. That would be Bill Clinton's 1992 Presidential campaign. So they had a nice run and have served me well. But alas, my gums have receded in the past 30 years and allowed a little decay to take hold below the crowns. Will it be a simple procedure to take care of the cavities and replace the crowns with porcelain? Maybe. Or maybe not. Here's the thing: X-rays don't penetrate gold and the dentist has no idea what the condition of the teeth are under all that precious metal. It could be crown lengthening or worse, extractions and implants. And we won't know until I endure a two-hour (2!!) appointment on the 14th. Let's not even contemplate the expense that could be involved in all this. And a Happy Valentine's Day to you, too. 

3. My laptop. My MacBook Air just crapped out Saturday. It wouldn't power on. I tried to do Apple Chat from my phone but I couldn't. When I bought this laptop back in 2020, I did something really stupid. I connected my Apple ID to my work email address. At that time I was thinking if I couldn't get onto my personal laptop, I could contact Apple through my work laptop. Guess what: when Apple tried to confirm my email at my former employer, the messages kept bouncing back. Am I an idiot or what? So I had to haul my laptop downtown to the Michigan Avenue Apple Store Genius Bar, where they could check my ID and my serial number in person and confirm that I am, indeed, me and that this laptop is, indeed, mine. 

The problem was minimal, having to do with the battery and the charger. It was repaired at no cost to me and I was back on the train, riding home, within an hour. But the stress was mighty. I NEED THIS LAPTOP. It's tax time: I have documents on this computer that I want to print out and give my accountant! My banking is on here, too. Not to mention that Blogger is a bitch from my phone. So I am so very, very glad to be speaking to you from my fully functioning MacBook Air.

But this, too, shall pass. As tension-filled as this has all been, none of it is irreversible or unconquerable. I just have to get through it.

Photo by Stormseeker on Unsplash

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading?  Everyone Here Is Lying by Shari Lapena. Another paranoid suburban thriller by Shari Lapena, who is very good at this genre. This one is set in Stanhope, a small town with a sterling reputation. Dr. Wooler is having an affair with a hospital volunteer, a beautiful society matron who is willing to slip away with him for sexy interludes in the afternoon. He has come to enjoy, even depend on, these secret assignations more than he ever intended to. The afternoon when he realizes how much he loves The Other Woman, and how impossible their situation is, he is distraught and returns home for a little quiet time to reflect. Instead of an empty house, he unexpectedly finds his 9-year-old daughter -- rebellious, confrontational Avery. She is quite possibly the last person on earth he wants to see at this moment.

Later that day, Dr. Wooler's wife comes home to an empty house and panic stricken, she reports their daughter missing. What the hell? 

 

We know a lot more about Mrs. Wooler's life than she does, but we don't know everything. Yet. That's what keeps me reading. 

2. What did you recently finish reading?  Babe: The Legend Comes to Life by Robert W. Creamer. "Too much baseball." Three words I never thought I'd say. But the Babe played 21 seasons for three teams and came up to bat 8,399 times. I know Creamer didn't catalog each of those at bats here, but it felt like it. The detail in this book is mind numbing at times. 

But the charisma of The Babe endures. What a man! America's first sports celebrity, for more than a decade our most admired citizen. Childlike, childish. Enormously talented. Heedless with his money, his talent, and the people closest to him. But never mean, never vindictive. An astonishingly gifted athlete and an endlessly interesting man. My favorite thing about him: he never refused a kid. Not at any ballpark, on any street corner, in any country in the world (we follow him to Japan, France and England). His generosity was inexhaustible. I'm glad his name lives on.

3. What will you read next? I don't know.