3:25, 5:07, 5:46 and 7:38

Those are the times I received "thank you" emails from my friend Kathy. Each time she acknowledges the birthday gift I sent her. It appears that she doesn't recall sending the previous emails, which is disturbing. She is addled. Does she have Alzheimer's? Dementia? I don't know because she refuses to see a doctor. But something is wrong within that head of hers.

But I'm glad I sent her the gift, nonetheless. I scrolled through her Facebook feed -- she is on Facebook all the time -- and downloaded photos from 2023 that featured her with her family. Then I sent the pictures to Snapfish, where they were made into magnets with captions (Mother's Day 2023, 4th of July 2023, etc.). That way she can look at her refrigerator and remember her daughter and grandchildren.

Back in December I restricted her access to my Facebook page. I kinda had to. So much of what she posted was silly, ill-advised or argumentative and it caused me stress. But I can deal with repetitive emails. Email is a more private venue and I can just ignore them. After all, she doesn't remember sending them.

I must remember her world is getting smaller and she's frightened. I also have to remind myself that none of her problems are my responsibility. I can help her in the ways that feel comfortable for me but I'm not obligated to take on more than I can handle.

Yes, every word of the above paragraph parrots what I've been discussing with my shrink. Fake it till you make it and all that. But I do see the wisdom in it and it's becoming more natural.