WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Who Is Maud Dixon by Alexandra Andrews. Florence is a low-level publishing employee who believes she's destined for great things. She's let go by her employer but she's not worried. The universe is looking out for her, she just knows it. So when the reclusive and insanely popular author Maud Dixon offers Florence a personal assistant job, she snaps at it. A new world opens up to her. And then dark and mysterious things begin to happen. How will Florence handle herself in these tricky, tempting and very consequential situations? So far, for me, the crux is: how well do we really know anyone, including ourselves?

PS Thanks to Kwizgiver for turning me onto this book.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Reclaiming History by Vincent Bugliosi. First of all, this isn't a book, it's a doorjamb. More than 1500 pages! But it's important.

 

Vincent Bugliosi, successful as both a prosecutor (Charles Manson and his "family") and defense attorney, examines the JFK assassination as a crime and follows the evidence wherever it takes him. It takes him to Lee Harvey Oswald, no one else. He explains in clear, easy-to-understand prose why this is the only conclusion he could reach.

The book is in roughly three parts. First, what happened before, on, and after 11/22/63. Second, investigating the investigators (Dallas police, FBI, and The Warren Commission). Third, why the three biggest conspiracies (the Mob did it, the FBI and/or CIA did it, a foreign power did it) are simply paranoid fever dreams.

Because of the way the book is constructed, there's necessarily redundancy here. The reasons why the Mob wouldn't/didn't/could never have hired Oswald and/or Ruby are the same reasons why no one else would. But it's apparently necessary because conspiracy theorists are a notoriously tenacious lot.

For me, these are the most obvious reasons why Oswald was a lone wolf:

1. He escaped Dealey Plaza by bus. Who would trust the Dallas transit system to spirit away their hitman? Why would anyone hire a hitman who didn't know how to drive in the first place?

2. Why would Oswald commit this risky crime for free? He lived like a pauper before the assassination and his widow and daughters received no windfall after. We know this because Marina Oswald was under FBI surveillance for quite some time after 11/22. (When this surveillance began, Robert Kennedy was Attorney General. Does anyone really believe Bobby was "in on it?") For years to come, she was approached by news outlets and often gave interviews. She's never hidden from the spotlight and, to this day, leads a distinctly middle class life. Where's the money?

3. While Robert and Ted Kennedy had quibbles with investigatory techniques, neither of the President's brothers questioned the Warren Commission's final conclusion. Ever. This is impressive when you consider Ted Kennedy lived more than 45 years longer than JFK and, as a high-ranking Senator, had access to classified information. Do you really believe he never looked at it?

 

There are many more reasons -- dozens upon dozens. If this topic interests you, this book is the gold standard.

3. What will read next? I don't know.

Better than I thought

That applies to Sunday. All of it was better than I thought it would be.

Elaine got tickets to play ... months ago. When I was still working. Elaine is very into taking advantage of everything Chicago has to offer, which is wise and wonderful of her. So when tickets to the rather controversial production of Wuthering Heights at the Shakespeare Theater at Navy Pier became available, she grabbed them. She invited me to go along and I said "yes." Things I didn't know then:

1) She had three tickets, not two, so someone else would be accompanying us

2) I'd be unemployed, and a $100+ Sunday spent watching a play I wasn't passionate about would be unwise

So I didn't want to go. I didn't know how to get out of it, but I knew I'd rather stay home. 

But Elaine has been very kind to me, working hard at nurturing our new-ish friendship, and so I committed to going. Also, I haven't seen live theater in, oh, I don't know how long. And Navy Pier is always fun, but I haven't been since before covid.

It was with more than a little anxiety I got on the train Sunday. Though it was the first time that I got to ride at a reduced fare, just for flashing my spanking new "Hi! I'm old!" card.

I hung around the train station for a while then I took a Lyft to Navy Pier. My driver seemed surprised that I was going to the theater entrance, not a sports bar entrance, since it was, after all, Super Bowl Sunday. It was kinda nice to tell a stranger what it's like to have been in advertising for decades (43 years, to be exact) and not feel pressured to watch The Game and scrutinize the commercials. I only saw one in advance (Anna Faris for avocados) and it was so high concept I didn't think it would resonate with a wide audience. But you know what? It doesn't matter a damn what I thought of the ad. I'm not in advertising anymore.

Elaine was there, right on time, at the entrance to the theater. She kept checking her phone because her other friend, Rosie, was nowhere in sight. She was in the lobby already. I admit I was very nervous about meeting her. I know very little about Rosie -- just that she is mom to an adult daughter and still working, teaching dance and music to little kids at a rather prestigious Chicago private school. This made me self conscious. Here I am, a roly poly retiree!

She could not have kinder or friendlier. Phew! I appreciated that enormously. At one point she turned to Elaine and said, "You're right. She's smart and funny!" I loved that because it means she asked Elaine about me before we met, and maybe she was as nervous beforehand as I was.

The play was interesting, too. A very imaginative, minimalist set. Unexpectedly funny in an absurdist English way. I mean, Heathcliff and Cathy weren't exactly a laugh-a-minute couple, but this production did wrest a few giggles from us.

Afterward we had a lovely dinner at Reunion and Elaine drove me home. 

So let's re-examine what I'd been freaking out about:

1) Rosie was completely charming and welcoming

2) The play didn't suck and the tickets were Elaine's treat because she got them from a neighbor who couldn't use them and ... I admit I got lost in the story, but no matter. Plus Reunion offered a discount for theatergoers, so I got to try a favorite dining spot of both the Obamas and Oprah at 20% off!

So I'd twisted myself up in knots over nothing.

I'm glad a fine time was had by all, but I really have to work at trying not to be an ass.

 

Sunday Stealing

SEVEN LAYER MEME

LAYER 1: Tell us your...

* Eye color: Green

* Hair color: Light brown with more gray each and every month

* Height: 5'2

* Righty or lefty: Righty (or, as my chiropractor told me, I'm "significantly right dominant") 

 

LAYER 2: What's...

* Your heritage: I grew up believing I was 88% German, 12% Irish, with the Irish coming from my maternal grandmother. My aunt recently shared the results of her Ancestry/DNA kit. Her mother's daughter, she was expecting to find she was about 25% Irish. No Irish whatsoever. Mostly German, the rest nearly equal parts Danish, Norwegian and Swedish. So who knows? I also wonder if it matters.

* The shoes you wore today: Gray Nikes.

* Your weakness: Lack of discipline.

* Your fears: Losing my independence.

* Your perfect pizza: Thin crust, plain cheese.

* Goals you’d like to achieve: I'd like to be serene.

* Your first waking thoughts: "What the hell was that?" It's a question I ask myself because I've had some freaky dreams lately.

* Your best physical feature: My cute turned-up nose.

* Your most missed memory: I'm sorry but I don't understand the question

LAYER 3: Do you...

* Smoke: Never

* Cuss: Constantly. My father constantly admonished that when I cussed I was revealing I had a small vocabulary. So it's kinda funny I built a career as a writer, isn't it?

* Sing: I'm tragically tone deaf.

* Do you think you’ve been in love: I know I have.

* Did you go to college: Oh, I went. For a short time. No degree.

* Liked high school: Ugh. No.

* Believe in yourself: I have my doubts.

* Think you’re attractive: I can be.

* Think you’re a health freak: No.

* Like thunderstorms: I don't like or dislike them. I take them as they come.

* Play an instrument: No.

LAYER 4: In the past month have you…

* Drunk alcohol: I had to. Last Wednesday was Joe Maddon's birthday, a holiday every Cub fan must observe.

via GIPHY

* Smoked: Never once. Not anything.

* Done a drug: Nope

* Made out: Regretfully, no.

* Gone on a date: Nope.

* Gone to the mall: Nope.

* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Not in the past month.

* Eaten sushi: Nope.

* Been on stage: Nope.

* Been dumped: Nope.

* Gone skating: Nope. I'm equally inept ice and roller skating.

* Gone skinny dipping: Nope. 

I suppose it's been a slow month.

LAYER 5: Have you ever…

* Played a game that required removal of clothing: Nope.

* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes.

* Been caught “doing something”:  I don't understand this question.

* Been called a tease: Not to my face.

* Gotten beaten up:

LAYER 6:

* Age you did get/hope to be married: I've never really wanted to be married.

* How do you want to die: Suddenly

* What did you want to be when you grew up: Taller. I know that seems like flippant answer, but I do wish I was taller.

* What country would you most like to visit: I'm pretty incurious about the rest of the world. I think it's because there's so much of this country I haven't seen or would love to revisit.

LAYER 7: Now tell...

* Name a person you could trust with your life: My oldest friend. Now that he's older, my nephew.

* Name a favorite CD that you own: 

* Number of piercings: One in each ear

* Number of tattoos: None

* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: I was the subject of one major news story. A long, long time ago I won the Chicago Tribune's movie trivia contest. They devoted a full page to moi. The top prize was $1,000. Adjusted for inflation, that would be $2,500 today. I was always broke in those days, so I was more thrilled with the prize than the short-lived fame.

* Name a past experience that you regret: I try not to regret anything.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: My Funny Valentine (1953)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Frank sings that his lover is his favorite work of art. Tell us about a piece of artwork you can see from where you're sitting now. (Yes, that crayon drawing by your 5-year-old nephew counts.) This is Thomas McKnight's Lake Shore Drive. It's hanging in my living room right now, and I love it. If money were no object and I could live anywhere, it would be high above LSD, enjoying this view.

2) He asks her to not change her hair. When will you next find yourself in the stylist's chair? I may be getting my locks colored and shorn as you're reading this on Saturday. I have an afternoon appointment.

3) Sinatra is often photographed in hats because he began losing his hair while in his 30s. He wore "a rug" for TV, concert and film appearances but really didn't like it, considering the toupee merely part of his work attire. What do you wear when you wish to appear professional? I layer. The right cardigan can make even an Old Navy t-shirt look professional.

4) Sinatra is best known for his singing and won an Oscar for his acting. But not many people know he liked to paint until he widow sold his paintings at auction. Do you have a secret talent? I have beautiful handwriting. I have no idea why this is, since I am tragically challenged when it comes to drawing. Doesn't it seem that, since both skills depend upon manual dexterity, they would go together?

 

5) As a kid, he was a paperboy in his hometown of Hoboken, NJ.  Tell us about one of your early jobs. How I loved babysitting! I wish I could still get paid to drink Coke, eat potato chips, and watch movies while kids sleep in the next room.

  
This is the last Saturday  9 before Valentine's Day and so this morning we shall focus on the upcoming holiday. 

6) The holiday is also known as The Feast of St. Valentine. Do you have a special meal planned for Tuesday? Nope.

7) The phrase "wear your heart on your sleeve" began in medieval times. On Valentine's Day, men would celebrate the holiday by displaying their lady love's name on their sleeves. If you were going to adopt this custom, whose name would you wear?

8) Women buy and send more Valentines than men do. Who received the last greeting card you sent? I sent a Valentine to my dear friend Henry. I love him very much.

  
9) Sweethearts, those candy hearts with sayings like "BE MINE" stamped on them, began as throat lozenges. Are you fan of these little candies? Nope. I don't like how they taste and I think the messages are dumb. Sorry.

What's it like for her?

My friend Kathy spends a lot of time on Facebook. She's posted 9 times today, and today's not over yet. Most of it is reposts of Snoopy cartoons and clips from America's Got Talent. She "likes" everything our friend John or I post, and when she comments she uses "quotes" and cAPs randomly. Clearly it makes her feel connected and I shouldn't be so judgey. 

But here's the thing: she's online constantly. I know from USPS tracking that her gift was delivered last Saturday, well in advance of her 75th birthday on Wednesday. But she didn't mention it -- not in any of her countless Facebook posts, not via email. I thought maybe she was saving it for her actual birthday.

When her birthday rolled around Wednesday, I posted a Facebook "happy birthday" asked her if she received my gift. I heard nothing until Thursday, when she responded cryptically: "Someone did say YES. Thank you from my heart." What does that mean? She lives in the upstairs apartment of a house. Did her neighbor sign for the package but hadn't yet given it to her? Then Friday she emailed me -- three times, identical emails -- photos of my unwrapped gift and card. I answered the first two but not the third. I didn't want to embarrass her, in case she didn't realize she sent it three times. 

Then there was the Facebook exchange about the Egyptian Theater in Dekalb, where Kathy lives. It's a very distinctive art deco building on the U.S. National Register of Historic Places. A woman I met at the TCM Film Festival and I were sharing how gorgeous this old movie palace is and how much it resembles the one with the same name and same architect on Hollywood Blvd. in Los Angeles. 

Kathy commented -- as she always does -- that I "know how to have FuN." I responded, truthfully, that I'd never have been inside the Egyptian in Dekalb if it wasn't for her. She said, "Hmm?" She truly didn't:

• Recognize it as a building in her town that she must pass regularly. Trust me, Dekalb, IL, is not a bastion of Egyptian art. This theater stands out.

• Remember that we'd been there together three years ago.

Kathy lives within walking distance & doesn't remember this

 

I don't know what's wrong with her because she won't see a doctor. She is surrounded by family in Dekalb -- her adult grandchildren are right there and have keys to her apartment, so at least I don't have to worry about her getting lost or lying prone on the floor for days ("I've fallen and I can't get up"). 

I am pretty sure I'll never see her again. The nearest train station is 20 minutes away from her home. I can't, in good conscience, encourage her to visit me here because she'd have to drive the 15 miles to the station. I know she still drives, but she shouldn't. Similarly, I'm not taking the train to visit her because she'd insist on picking me up at the station -- after all, she maintains there's nothing wrong with her and she gets very upset if you suggest there is -- and there's no way I'm getting in a car with her behind the wheel. 

This is why John seldom if ever interacts with her. He says he doubts she really notices who is there for her anymore and who isn't, and it causes us more upset than it brings her joy.

Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash

But is that true? What's it like inside that head? How does her life feel for her? She's posted two more times on Facebook while I've been composing this blog post. Is she glued to her phone, trying to connect to the people she's known over the years? Or is she completely in the moment, not realizing that she's been posting all day? 

I think this post is just my way of working through this, or coming to terms with the fact that John may be right. I've been upset about Kathy's birthday for almost a week now. Her cognitive issues are going to get worse, not better. I have to learn to separate, even though that's really not my instinct in matters of friendship.

Thursday Thirteen #296

What I value. President Joe Biden has said, "Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I'll tell you what you value." That quote is top of mind for me because when I uploaded my financial documents for the accountant, I noticed I gave to 23 charities in 2022.* This list of the 13 organizations I gave the most to (listed highest to lowest) does say something about me.

1. My church.

2. The Anthony Rizzo Family Foundation. No surprise if you read this blog very often. Anthony Rizzo is my favorite-most baseball player of all time, and I pledged to donate every time he hit a home run. He hit 32 in 2022 during one of his best seasons. 

 

The funds help families battling pediatric cancer, reimbursing costs not covered by health insurance -- parking and meals at the hospital, rent and mortgage, etc. In 2022 he also took kids on outings to amusement parks in Chicagoland and Florida, and on a shopping spree at the FAO Schwarz flagship store in New York, and catered meals for hospital workers in the pediatric wards. Rizz survived cancer himself as a teen and uses what he and his family endured to inform where the money goes.

3. Harmony House for Cats. Chicago has a lot of animal shelters. I've chosen to devote my greatest efforts to this one. They do great work, but they don't get a lot of publicity.

4. My local food pantry. Because these are my neighbors. In addition to monthly cash contributions, I also throw a non-perishable ($1.10 or less) into my cart every time I go grocery shopping. Today it was a can of green beans (on sale for 69¢). Anyway, by doing that, I'm able to bring a bag of food over to the pantry in person every month without even feeling the cost.

5. Feeding America. This national organization supports food pantries and meal programs all across the country.

6. Doctors without Borders. If you're like me, you see stories about Ukraine, or the earthquake in Turkey and Syria, and you wonder, "What can I do?" Through my monthly donation to DWB, I am helping provide aid.

7. Greenpeace. I do this for my late mother. She worried about the impact of climate change on endangered species.

8. Planned Parenthood. I am personally opposed to abortion. But that is a decision arrived at through my faith, and I don't expect -- nor do I want -- every woman to believe as I do. Legislating one faith's tenet over any other is very UNAmerican. Secondarily, I want every child born to be wanted, and every woman to have access to reproductive healthcare.

9. The Night Ministry. The homeless are our neighbors. The Night Ministry supports them with food, shelter, and medical care.

10. PAWS Chicago. PAWS stands for Pets Are Worth Saving. I believe that, and so I support this organization. More than 95% of the animals that enter PAWS survive.

11. Tree House Animal Foundation. This Chicago humane organization has great PR, deservedly so. They are a model for no-kill shelters nationwide.

12. Goodwill. In 2023, I have committed to carrying gently used items to Goodwill once a month. In 2022, most of my support for this organization was monetary and to the national organization. Next year I'd like to see this one fall out of the Top 13, with the cash replaced by contributions of my gently used STUFF.

13. Colonial Williamburg Foundation. I know I can be a patriotic sap, but I believe knowing where we've been can help us decide where we want to go. And so I support Williamsburg. It really is a living museum.

Before you give to any charity, make sure it's worthy of your money. Check it out at Give.org.

*Don't be too impressed; all I gave to one of them was $4.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Pieces seem to be missing

Kathy turns 75 today. She loves jigsaw puzzles, so I had one made for her. A picture of her and her grandkids' dog at the beach, with the date and place printed right on it. This seemed like a good gift for someone who has trouble remembering things.

It was delivered on Saturday afternoon. I know this from USPS tracking. She never mentioned it. In my Facebook "Happy Birthday" post, I asked her if she received it. She hasn't answered.

I bet she forgot ... that she received it, or why I sent it, or who it was from.

I remember the last time I celebrated with her in person, which was three years ago, just before covid.  It was a highly disturbing day. I recall sitting in her living room and giving her a gift, a photo of her with little great grandchild. She seemed happy with it and displayed it on her bookshelf. Then she got up to get me a tangerine. She brought it back into the room, saw the wrapping paper on her coffee table, and said, "Did you give a me a present?"

That was three years ago. Her cognitive decline is three years worse. To my knowledge, she has still refused to see a doctor regarding this. She had an appointment for a check up in April 2020, but it was cancelled because of covid. I don't think she ever rescheduled it. She gets very angry when you mention her memory to her.

Kathy isn't my only friend with cognitive issues. My friend Henry is declining fast, too, the result of a traumatic brain injury.

Suddenly my bad teeth don't seem like the worst problem in the word.

Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

I'm riding on rough pavement right now

I admit it: the past 7 days have kicked my ass. 

1) The State of Illinois is threatening to imprison me. Oh, they won't. But it's scary nevertheless. I am still getting severance from my former employer. It's completely legal in Illinois to receive unemployment benefits while collecting severance because severance is not wages earned in exchange for work. However, when my W2 was generated, the state got a copy of it and since my severance has gone on more than a month -- I worked for that agency for 18 years! -- the algorithms assumed that my former employer must have rehired me. Therefore, I have been fraudulently receiving unemployment benefits when I am employed.

Only I wasn't and I'm not! I was told to respond by completing and returning the enclosed form by a specific date. But all the questions are very, "When did you stop beating your wife?" There are just boxes to check, and no place to explain. I went rogue and included a letter, along with a portion of my separation agreement from my employer (it's a 15-page deck), but I have no confidence anyone will see it because the forms are bar coded. I suspect the pages will just be scanned and this won't be the end of it.

All I have to do is talk to a real, actual human and show them the pertinent parts of my separation agreement. But that's not an option right now and I'll feel so stressed until this is behind me.

2) I lost another crown. My previous dental adventures aren't over yet, and I am unexpectedly embarking on another one. Tomorrow morning at 7:45 AM, I have a consultation with the oral surgeon to see if I need another crown lengthening. More pain, more expense. I am bereft.

3) So Sunday I went to church, which didn't help at all. I love my church. I love my faith. I get a great deal of comfort feeling closer to God in that building. That. Building. Our interim minister, who only has a few months to go, spent the sermon talking about how we've outgrown that "edifice" and it's time for us to unload it and move. She made some valid points -- upkeep is expensive, the Sunday School is impossibly cramped. But I love that building. I don't want a new church! And who is she, anyway? A freelancer, an interloper, a short-timer. Most of all, I was royally pissed that, when I was expecting comfort, all I got was agita.

4) A jerk joined our movie group. We watched a movie from 1948 called Deep Waters. It was a fine, completely forgettable little drama. Anyway, Stephen (pronounced "Stefan," thankyouverymuch) loved it for its "proper" gender roles and said it should be shown in schools to teach children the way it "should be," especially important in this age of "Gender LGBTQ." I was very upset. Not because he's a Neanderthal, but because he invaded our space. We have disagreements about the movies all the time, but he was being intentionally provocative. Plus, he doesn't know the sexual orientation of everyone in our group, and that homophobic broadside was mean. At the end of our gettogether I felt like I did after church -- unsettled from time spent in a place I'm supposed to enjoy.

That gives you an overview of my Wednesday to Tuesday. I've been having a stress dream -- I do that -- about a dying bird on the pavement. It's writhing in pain. I know I should kill it and end its suffering, but I can't. I wake up feeling cruel and cowardly. Not a great way to start the day.

So I talked to my shrink and everything became manageable.

1) I have done nothing wrong. Once it comes to an in-person appointment at the Unemployment Office on Lawrence Avenue, it will be fine. I just have to try not to obsess on it in the interim.

2) I have dental insurance and I have savings. It is what it is. I got that latest traitorous crown when I was working on the Clinton campaign. That would be Bill Clinton's 1992 campaign. The sucker lasted more than 30 years. Not a bad run.

3) Nothing is going to happen to my beloved building any time soon. It can't. It's not like there's a big plot of land nearby just waiting for us to buy it. It's not like we could afford it if there was, since there isn't an eager buyer looking to buy our existing "edifice" (<<<<I can't believe she called my darling church "an edifice"). It's not like the temporary minister will even be here six months from now, and I'm not sure our new, as yet unmet minister will want to take on such an ambitious project right out of the gate.

4) Fuck Stephen. Unpleasant people come and go. I can't change him, but I can ignore him.

I have to find my happiness where I can, breathe deep, and trust that soon I'll be rolling along and enjoying a smooth ride again soon.

 

Photo by Philippe Beliveau on Unsplash

I agree with Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Last night, in her Republican response to President Biden's State of the Union, newly-inaugurated Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “The dividing line in America is no longer between right or left; the choice is between normal or crazy."

She's 100% right. Only she was, from 2017 to 2019, the face of crazy, acting as the White House Press Secretary to the President who whipped this crowd up on January 6, 2020.

This is not normal, Gov. This is crazy.

Please, let's make sure we never go back to this. Please, let's let Donald Trump enjoy hosting professional golf tournaments funded by the Saudis.

Thank you.

Sunday Stealing

Stolen from Moody Blue

Three names you go by, other than your given name: My oldest friend always calls me, "Dear." When I was really little, my dad called me "Mouse" and "Andy Panda."

Three things you like about yourself:  I'm as tough as I need to be, I'm there when you need me, and, like Ellie Mae, I have a way with critters.

  

Three things you don't like about yourself: I'm sloppy, I procrastinate, and I have terrible teeth

Three parts of your heritage: Like my parents and grandparents, I'm an American, I'm a Chicagoan, I'm a Cub fan

Three things you are wearing right now: My comfy gold nightshirt, my unmentionables, and bright blue slipper socks

Three favorite bands/musical artists: The B's -- The Beatles, Babs (Streisand) and The Boss (Springsteen)

Three favorite songs: Here's one from each of the above -- "All My Loving," "More Than You Know," and "Thunder Road"

Three things you want in a relationship: Those three songs have me musing about romance, so I'll answer through that prism -- Affection, fidelity, fun

Three of your favorite hobbies: Books, movies, baseball

Three things that scare you:  Squirrels, clowns, airline travel

Three of your everyday essentials: Coca Cola, my shower radio, my laptop

Three places you want to go on vacation: There are places I'd like to return to -- Colonial Williamsburg, New York City, and Hollywood for the TCM Classic Film Festival (I've got my hotel, my pass, and my airline tickets for the upcoming 13th festival)

Three careers you have considered/are considering: Transcriber, shop girl, layabout

Three things you want to do before you die: I'm sorry but I simply won't do The Bucket List thing. It's morbid.

Three things you want to do really badly right now: Win the lottery, finish my seemingly endless dental saga, feel more confident and comfortable as a I navigate this life change into retirement

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: Beautiful (2005)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

1) In this song, Moby sings about a self-involved couple who believes others are fascinated by their glamorous lives. Tell us about the most interesting couple you know. Nancy and Paul. They are not glamorous. She's a strategic planner and he's a database analyst. But I love their love story. They were both just out of very disappointing marriages. (Trust me on this; I knew her when she was married to Husband #1.) They'd both faced challenges with their kids. But they were brave enough to try again, give love another shot, and blend their families. I admire their optimism.

 

2) This song was inspired by the proliferation of reality shows, where celebrities share their lives on camera. Does the idea of becoming rich and famous in exchange for letting a film crew into your home appeal to you? Not in the least. I'd feel vulnerable and exposed. Whenever I watch Rear Window, I worry that someone in the really tall apartment building two doors down might be recuperating from an injury or illness and amusing himself by aiming binoculars or a telephoto lens my way. (For some reason, I don't imagine women as having such voyeuristic tendencies.)

3) "Beautiful" appears in the soundtrack of the movie The Devil Wears Prada, starring Meryl Streep. She was nominated for an Academy Award for her performance, which is no surprise because she has more Oscar nominations than any other actor or actress. Do you have a favorite Meryl Streep movie? I really enjoyed Kramer vs. Kramer, Julie and Julia, Marvin's Room and Heartburn. But she's most quotable in The Devil Wears Prada (and I do love movie quotes). "By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me." and ...

4) Moby has openly discussed how Christ has influenced his life and art. Do you consider yourself religious or spiritual? If yes, how do your beliefs impact your daily life? It's simple (as opposed to easy). I try to live my Christian faith by doing better, doing more and doing it with kindness. Like today. I was really stressed out about having to compose a response in some legal matter and send it via certified letter. The easiest part of the whole episode was actually mailing the damn thing. I know it's rather fashionable to diss the USPS, so I took a moment to thank the woman behind the plexiglass, telling her I appreciate how smooth she made the process. I could tell by her response that she doesn't get positive feedback very often. So that was me living my faith. Looking for ways to show empathy and kindness. Doing unto others. If at the end of the day I can point to a time or two when I've somehow helped, I hope He's pleased.

5) His real name is Richard Melville Hall. His parents began calling him "Moby" almost immediately because they felt "Richard Melville Hall" sounded too big for a baby. When did you most recently hold a baby? Wow. I can't even remember.

6) He began shaving his head when he was in his 30s. It was at the request of a girlfriend, who said she liked bald men. Would you change your appearance to please your lover? It depends on what he asked. I wouldn't shave my head, certainly! But I once loved a man who told me how nice I looked in my one lavender pullover and when he called me at work, he'd tease, "Which blue blouse are wearing today?" And so when I shopped, I'd veer away from my beloved blues in favor of shades of purple.

7) Moby's house was once owned by Marlon Brando and was later rented to The Beatles. What do you know about the previous residents of your home? She was a single mom who moved here with her two kids right after her divorce. It's a two bedroom condo, and her son and daughter shared the bigger bedroom. After a few years, as they approached adolescence, she wanted them to have their own rooms, so she moved her family to the south suburbs, where she could get more home for less money. I've now lived here longer than she did.

 

8) In 2005, when "Beautiful" was released, actress Ruth Warrick died. She began her career in radio, made her film debut in Citizen Kane, and she was best known as matriarch Phoebe Tyler on All My Children, a role she played for 35 years. What's the longest you stayed at the same job? I was at my last job for (gulp!) 18 years.

9) Random question: Without looking, do you know how much money is in your checking account right now? Kinda/sorta, but not really. I know how much I have that's discretionary for the next week, but I'd have to look to see how much is earmarked for bills that haven't come in yet.

 

 

She's just the cutest

On really cold days, Connie can't get close enough to the heat. She's affectionate, alert, and seems to be feeling fine.

But she's not fine. She has a heart murmur and a tooth that needs extraction. Because she's a senior citizen -- about 10 years old -- these conditions can be worrisome. So she had a full battery of tests, both blood tests and an EKG. 

This was a nightmare for her. She never goes outside. (I could leave the front door open and she wouldn't go near it.) So to be confronted by strange smells and sounds, manhandled by strangers, stabbed with needles, shaved (for the EKG) was as bad as it gets. Yet the vet tech called her "one of the sweetest cats ever."*

All the test results are back. The heart murmur is considered "minor," which is very good news. Her kidneys aren't performing as efficiently as they should, but that's not unusual in a lady her age. 

So our next step is the tooth extraction and, if necessary, a biopsy of the tenacious sore inside her mouth. Or maybe not. The animal hospital my vet has referred me to specializes in this sort of thing and we're going to let them decide.

Because she's behaving normally and her test results were better than I expected, I'm going to schedule her for March. I have a trip to Tampa scheduled for the end of February (hello, Anthony Rizzo!) and I don't want to leave her when she's recovering.

I don't know how people with human children do it. These decisions are hard!

*The same vet tech never said that about my beige demon, Reynaldo. 😼

Thursday Thirteen #295

Thirteen "Crimes of the Century." I've been reading Vincent Bugliosi's dissection of the JFK Assassination and agree that murder was the most consequential crime of the 20th century. It changed everything about American life, from the amendment of our Constitution to ensure we always have a Vice President, to how news is covered, to how we mourn.

Yet the 1900's were filled with Crimes of the Century. Here are just 13 that were referred to that way by Time, Life, or Newsweek.

1. The Fatty Arbuckle Scandal (1920). A popular movie comedian was arrested for rape and murder. Fatty Arbuckle was tried three times (the first two ended in mistrials) and was ultimately acquitted, but his career was over.

2. Leopold and Loeb (1924). Two affluent students at the University of Chicago decided to commit the perfect crime. They didn't. Bobby Franks was reported missing on May 21. By May 31, the state's attorney announced to the press that both suspects had confessed. What made this shocking wasn't the crime as much as the motive. Two boys murdered a third ... just to see if they could. Legal genius Clarence Darrow successfully saved them from the death penalty. Not because they weren't guilty, but because Leopold and Loeb were teenagers at the time of the murder.

3. Lindbergh Kidnapping (1932). The infant child of American hero Charles Lindbergh was abducted from their home and found dead 11 days later. A carpenter was convicted and sentenced to death for murder. Later that year, a law was passed to make kidnapping a federal offense.

4. The Brink's Job (1950). Nearly $3 million (almost $35 million in today's dollars) was lifted from the Brink's building in Boston. This one went unsolved until just days before the statute of limitations expired and one of the crooks squealed on the others.

5. The Lana Turner Affair (1958). Johnny Stompanato, a well-known mobster, was found dead in his girlfriend's Los Angeles home. Normally this wouldn't have been a big deal except his girlfriend was a movie star and he was stabbed by a 14-year-old girl. She was the daughter of sex symbol Lana Turner, who overheard a violent fight and took a knife from the kitchen to defend her mother. The girl was cleared of all charges, but you can imagine what a big freaking deal this was. And oh! The rumors! Lana really did it and her daughter took the rap ... it was a love triangle and Johnny was doing both mother and daughter ... Unlike Fatty Arbuckle, Lana Turner's career was revived by the scandal, enabling her to transition from sex symbol to "suffering mother" roles in big screen Technicolor melodramas.

6. Richard Speck (1966). A drifter broke in and held 9 student nurses captive for about four hours, raping and stabbing 8. He would have gotten away with it if the 9th, Corazon Amurao, hadn't slipped silently under a bed, listening in terror to the slaughter but then bravely leading Chicago police to capture Richard Speck. First she described him to authorities (right down to his "Born to Raise Hell" tattoo) and then she faced him and testified against him in court. I was only a little girl, but I recall thinking Corazon Amurao behaved as bravely as any soldier in battle. I'm happy to report that she became a nurse, had a long, successful career, and is a grandmother.

7. The Tate-Labianca Murders (1969). 7 people -- including actress Sharon Tate -- were killed in two incidents in August 1969. I bet you know the rest.

8. The Patty Hearst Kidnapping (1974). Self-styled terrorists broke in and kidnapped a 19-year-old girl at gunpoint and kept her in a closet for 8 weeks. I bet you know the rest.

9. The Son of Sam (1977). David Berkowitz committed 8 shootings, killing 6, using a .44 caliber handgun. He taunted New York police by sending letters to New York Daily News columnist Jimmy Breslin. He is currently serving six consecutive life sentences.

10. John Wayne Gacy (1978). No one knows for sure how many boys John Gacy murdered because many of them were gay runaways and in the 1970s, parents weren't willing to come forward and cooperate with police because they were ashamed their sons were homosexual. (No, I'm not kidding.) The last boy he kidnapped was much-loved by his family and when the 15-year-old failed to come home from his after-school job, a police investigation led to Gacy's home in Norridge, IL. Authorities were shocked to find 26 boys buried under his crawlspace. 4 more were retrieved from Des Plaines River. 5 of the victims remain unidentified to this day. Gacy was put to death by the State of Illinois in 1994. I'm against the death penalty, but this sadistic SOB rapist murderer has given me pause. He was a monster.

11. America's Biggest Art Heist (1990). Two men dressed as police officers gained entry into a Boston art gallery after closing. They tied up the guards and left with 34 works of art (including Vermeer, Degas, and Rembrandt) worth between $300 and $500 million. Law enforcement was confused by the choice of paintings (and one vase), for while the ones snatched are valuable, better known and more expensive pieces were untouched. This crime remains unsolved, though the FBI seems pretty sure it was done by the mafia on the behest of a very, very well-to-do art collector who paid upfront for specific pieces for his personal enjoyment.

12. The OJ Simpson Case (1994). A retired running back was first found not guilty in criminal court but then found liable in civil court for the murder of his ex-wife and a young man in the courtyard of her home. I bet you know the rest.

13. The Columbine Massacre (1999). The first school shooting. Alas, not the last.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

Sunday Stealing

STOLEN FROM PINTEREST

1. when did you last sing to yourself I sing to myself every morning along with the shower radio. This morning it was the Spinners' "Could It Be I'm Falling in Love."

2. if you’re male, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re female, would you ever rock really really short hair? I wear my hair short, but not Sinead O'Connor short. I wouldn't. My hair is my thing.

3. what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? I am pleased that my life has touched the lives of others in a meaningful way. You know, a la George Bailey.

4. what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? Recent: My cat Connie has spent a lot of time at the vet over the last week or so. It's been difficult for her because she's shy and doesn't understand what is happening. Strange people manhandling her! New smells! Dogs in close proximity! So it touched my heart and made me so happy to wake up to find her curled up asleep on the pillow beside me. She is happy to be home and trusts me.

5. if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Of course. It's an overwhelming question so I don't have a quick answer, but I'm sure I would organize myself and make it easier to make each day count.

6. do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? I don't do the bucket list thing. It's  things you want to do before you kick the bucket, aka die. Why would I want to accomplish things that bring me closer to death?

7. how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? Everyone should do whatever they want.

8. do you feel you had a happy childhood? No. But it had happy moments.

8. when did you last cry in front of another person? Back in September. I was sick and scared and overwhelmed. It was memorable because I've been working since I was 17 and this was the only time I ever cried in a professional setting. I'll always remember how comforting my newest team member was. Rita kept saying, "I've got you, girlie." 

9. who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? I have three friends that worry about almost constantly -- Henry, John and my oldest friend. I'd love to hear from any one of the three that they are happy and at peace.

10. what is your night time routine? I make sure that my Elvis/Graceland mug is full of water and right where I can reach it overnight. With my proclivity for kidney stones, I'm supposed to stay hydrated.

11. when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? It was probably my oldest friend because she lives in California, two hours earlier so it was only 1am for her.

12. if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? I need more context. It would be different if I were falling from the sky in a plane crash than if I'm in a bed in assisted living.

13. what is your opinion on brown eyes? His are bottomless and beautiful.

14. pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. JFK: "One person can make a difference, and everyone should try." We're all capable of kindness and making the right choices. Those kindnesses and choices reverberate. 

15. what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? What the Ever-Loving F? It's a phrase I find myself saying more and more often.

 

The cruelty is the point

Another conspiracy theory debunked. Paul Pelosi obviously wasn't embarrassed at home in a gay tryst. He was the victim of a violent attack at the hands of a home invader. It was an act of political violence, and everyone should be horrified.

Except we aren't. Some proud members of the GOP made fun of the attack. Others made the victim complicit. I doubt, though, that any of them are ashamed.

I remember a comment Mary Trump made about her famous uncle. "The cruelty is the point." Some MAGA folks equate cruelty with strength and strength with power. What galls me about them is that they uniformly claim to be Christian. Their behavior reflects what I learned in the schoolyard, not in Sunday School. 

Adam Kinzinger is a former representative with whom I agree on almost no policy issues. But I have never doubted that he is decent and has a moral compass. Maybe because he's a decorated veteran who flew missions in Afghanistan, he doesn't feel the need to prove his bravery by being bitchy at the keyboard. Anyway, I love his Twitter post.

See it on his feed here.

And I'll leave you with the wildly witty scion of the Trump family. .

 

The Republican party cast out Kinzinger and seems to embrace the Trumps. The GOP is the party of casual cruelty.