These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Kathy turns 75 today. She loves jigsaw puzzles, so I had one made for her. A picture of her and her grandkids' dog at the beach, with the date and place printed right on it. This seemed like a good gift for someone who has trouble remembering things.
It was delivered on Saturday afternoon. I know this from USPS tracking. She never mentioned it. In my Facebook "Happy Birthday" post, I asked her if she received it. She hasn't answered.
I bet she forgot ... that she received it, or why I sent it, or who it was from.
I remember the last time I celebrated with her in person, which was three years ago, just before covid. It was a highly disturbing day. I recall sitting in her living room and giving her a gift, a photo of her with little great grandchild. She seemed happy with it and displayed it on her bookshelf. Then she got up to get me a tangerine. She brought it back into the room, saw the wrapping paper on her coffee table, and said, "Did you give a me a present?"
That was three years ago. Her cognitive decline is three years worse. To my knowledge, she has still refused to see a doctor regarding this. She had an appointment for a check up in April 2020, but it was cancelled because of covid. I don't think she ever rescheduled it. She gets very angry when you mention her memory to her.
Kathy isn't my only friend with cognitive issues. My friend Henry is declining fast, too, the result of a traumatic brain injury.
Suddenly my bad teeth don't seem like the worst problem in the word.
1) The State of Illinois is threatening to imprison me. Oh, they won't. But it's scary nevertheless. I am still getting severance from my former employer. It's completely legal in Illinois to receive unemployment benefits while collecting severance because severance is not wages earned in exchange for work. However, when my W2 was generated, the state got a copy of it and since my severance has gone on more than a month -- I worked for that agency for 18 years! -- the algorithms assumed that my former employer must have rehired me. Therefore, I have been fraudulently receiving unemployment benefits when I am employed.
Only I wasn't and I'm not! I was told to respond by completing and returning the enclosed form by a specific date. But all the questions are very, "When did you stop beating your wife?" There are just boxes to check, and no place to explain. I went rogue and included a letter, along with a portion of my separation agreement from my employer (it's a 15-page deck), but I have no confidence anyone will see it because the forms are bar coded. I suspect the pages will just be scanned and this won't be the end of it.
All I have to do is talk to a real, actual human and show them the pertinent parts of my separation agreement. But that's not an option right now and I'll feel so stressed until this is behind me.
2) I lost another crown. My previous dental adventures aren't over yet, and I am unexpectedly embarking on another one. Tomorrow morning at 7:45 AM, I have a consultation with the oral surgeon to see if I need anothercrown lengthening. More pain, more expense. I am bereft.
3) So Sunday I went to church, which didn't help at all. I love my church. I love my faith. I get a great deal of comfort feeling closer to God in that building. That. Building. Our interim minister, who only has a few months to go, spent the sermon talking about how we've outgrown that "edifice" and it's time for us to unload it and move. She made some valid points -- upkeep is expensive, the Sunday School is impossibly cramped. But I love that building. I don't want a new church! And who is she, anyway? A freelancer, an interloper, a short-timer. Most of all, I was royally pissed that, when I was expecting comfort, all I got was agita.
4) A jerk joined our movie group. We watched a movie from 1948 called Deep Waters. It was a fine, completely forgettable little drama. Anyway, Stephen (pronounced "Stefan," thankyouverymuch) loved it for its "proper" gender roles and said it should be shown in schools to teach children the way it "should be," especially important in this age of "Gender LGBTQ." I was very upset. Not because he's a Neanderthal, but because he invaded our space. We have disagreements about the movies all the time, but he was being intentionally provocative. Plus, he doesn't know the sexual orientation of everyone in our group, and that homophobic broadside was mean. At the end of our gettogether I felt like I did after church -- unsettled from time spent in a place I'm supposed to enjoy.
That gives you an overview of my Wednesday to Tuesday. I've been having a stress dream -- I do that -- about a dying bird on the pavement. It's writhing in pain. I know I should kill it and end its suffering, but I can't. I wake up feeling cruel and cowardly. Not a great way to start the day.
So I talked to my shrink and everything became manageable.
1) I have done nothing wrong. Once it comes to an in-person appointment at the Unemployment Office on Lawrence Avenue, it will be fine. I just have to try not to obsess on it in the interim.
2) I have dental insurance and I have savings. It is what it is. I got that latest traitorous crown when I was working on the Clinton campaign. That would be Bill Clinton's 1992 campaign. The sucker lasted more than 30 years. Not a bad run.
3) Nothing is going to happen to my beloved building any time soon. It can't. It's not like there's a big plot of land nearby just waiting for us to buy it. It's not like we could afford it if there was, since there isn't an eager buyer looking to buy our existing "edifice" (<<<<I can't believe she called my darling church "an edifice"). It's not like the temporary minister will even be here six months from now, and I'm not sure our new, as yet unmet minister will want to take on such an ambitious project right out of the gate.
4) Fuck Stephen. Unpleasant people come and go. I can't change him, but I can ignore him.
I have to find my happiness where I can, breathe deep, and trust that soon I'll be rolling along and enjoying a smooth ride again soon.
Last night, in her Republican response to President Biden's State of the Union, newly-inaugurated Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “The dividing line in America is no longer between right or left; the choice is between normal or crazy."
She's 100% right. Only she was, from 2017 to 2019, the face of crazy, acting as the White House Press Secretary to the President who whipped this crowd up on January 6, 2020.
This is not normal, Gov. This is crazy.
Please, let's make sure we never go back to this. Please, let's let Donald Trump enjoy hosting professional golf tournaments funded by the Saudis.
Three names you go by, other than your given name: My oldest friend always calls me, "Dear." When I was really little, my dad called me "Mouse" and "Andy Panda."
Three things you like about yourself: I'm as tough as I need to be, I'm there when you need me, and, like Ellie Mae, I have a way with critters.
Three things you don't like about yourself: I'm sloppy, I procrastinate, and I have terrible teeth
Three parts of your heritage: Like my parents and grandparents, I'm an American, I'm a Chicagoan, I'm a Cub fan
Three things you are wearing right now: My comfy gold nightshirt, my unmentionables, and bright blue slipper socks
Three favorite bands/musical artists: The B's -- The Beatles, Babs (Streisand) and The Boss (Springsteen)
Three favorite songs: Here's one from each of the above -- "All My Loving," "More Than You Know," and "Thunder Road"
Three things you want in a relationship: Those three songs have me musing about romance, so I'll answer through that prism -- Affection, fidelity, fun
Three of your favorite hobbies: Books, movies, baseball
Three things that scare you: Squirrels, clowns, airline travel
Three of your everyday essentials: Coca Cola, my shower radio, my laptop
Three places you want to go on vacation: There are places I'd like to return to -- Colonial Williamsburg, New York City, and Hollywood for the TCM Classic Film Festival (I've got my hotel, my pass, and my airline tickets for the upcoming 13th festival)
Three careers you have considered/are considering: Transcriber, shop girl, layabout
Three things you want to do before you die: I'm sorry but I simply won't do The Bucket List thing. It's morbid.
Three things you want to do really badly right now: Win the lottery, finish my seemingly endless dental saga, feel more confident and comfortable as a I navigate this life change into retirement
1)
In this song, Moby sings about a self-involved couple who believes
others are fascinated by their glamorous lives. Tell us about the most
interesting couple you know. Nancy and Paul. They are not glamorous. She's a strategic planner and he's a database analyst. But I love their love story. They were both just out of very disappointing marriages. (Trust me on this; I knew her when she was married to Husband #1.) They'd both faced challenges with their kids. But they were brave enough to try again, give love another shot, and blend their families. I admire their optimism.
2)
This song was inspired by the proliferation of reality shows, where
celebrities share their lives on camera. Does the idea of becoming rich
and famous in exchange for letting a film crew into your home appeal to
you? Not in the least. I'd feel vulnerable and exposed. Whenever I watch Rear Window, I worry that someone in the really tall apartment building two doors down might be recuperating from an injury or illness and amusing himself by aiming binoculars or a telephoto lens my way. (For some reason, I don't imagine women as having such voyeuristic tendencies.)
3) "Beautiful" appears in the soundtrack of the movie The Devil Wears Prada,
starring Meryl Streep. She was nominated for an Academy Award for her
performance, which is no surprise because she has more Oscar nominations
than any other actor or actress. Do you have a favorite Meryl Streep
movie? I really enjoyed Kramer vs. Kramer, Julie and Julia, Marvin's Room and Heartburn. But she's most quotable in The Devil Wears Prada (and I do love movie quotes). "By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me." and ...
4)
Moby has openly discussed how Christ has influenced his life and art.
Do you consider yourself religious or spiritual? If yes, how do your
beliefs impact your daily life? It's simple (as opposed to easy). I try to live my Christian faith by doing better, doing more and doing it with kindness. Like today. I was really stressed out about having to compose a response in some legal matter and send it via certified letter. The easiest part of the whole episode was actually mailing the damn thing. I know it's rather fashionable to diss the USPS, so I took a moment to thank the woman behind the plexiglass, telling her I appreciate how smooth she made the process. I could tell by her response that she doesn't get positive feedback very often. So that was me living my faith. Looking for ways to show empathy and kindness. Doing unto others. If at the end of the day I can point to a time or two when I've somehow helped, I hope He's pleased.
5)
His real name is Richard Melville Hall. His parents began calling him
"Moby" almost immediately because they felt "Richard Melville Hall"
sounded too big for a baby. When did you most recently hold a baby? Wow. I can't even remember.
6)
He began shaving his head when he was in his 30s. It was at the request
of a girlfriend, who said she liked bald men. Would you change your
appearance to please your lover? It depends on what he asked. I wouldn't shave my head, certainly! But I once loved a man who told me how nice I looked in my one lavender pullover and when he called me at work, he'd tease, "Which blue blouse are wearing today?" And so when I shopped, I'd veer away from my beloved blues in favor of shades of purple.
7)
Moby's house was once owned by Marlon Brando and was later rented to
The Beatles. What do you know about the previous residents of your home? She was a single mom who moved here with her two kids right after her divorce. It's a two bedroom condo, and her son and daughter shared the bigger bedroom. After a few years, as they approached adolescence, she wanted them to have their own rooms, so she moved her family to the south suburbs, where she could get more home for less money. I've now lived here longer than she did.
8)
In 2005, when "Beautiful" was released, actress Ruth Warrick died. She began her career in radio, made her film debut in Citizen Kane, and she was best known as matriarch Phoebe Tyler on All My Children, a role she played for 35 years. What's the longest you stayed at the same job? I was at my last job for (gulp!) 18 years. 9)
Random question: Without looking, do you know how much money is in your checking account right now? Kinda/sorta, but not really. I know how much I have that's discretionary for the next week, but I'd have to look to see how much is earmarked for bills that haven't come in yet.
On really cold days, Connie can't get close enough to the heat. She's affectionate, alert, and seems to be feeling fine.
But she's not fine. She has a heart murmur and a tooth that needs extraction. Because she's a senior citizen -- about 10 years old -- these conditions can be worrisome. So she had a full battery of tests, both blood tests and an EKG.
This was a nightmare for her. She never goes outside. (I could leave the front door open and she wouldn't go near it.) So to be confronted by strange smells and sounds, manhandled by strangers, stabbed with needles, shaved (for the EKG) was as bad as it gets. Yet the vet tech called her "one of the sweetest cats ever."*
All the test results are back. The heart murmur is considered "minor," which is very good news. Her kidneys aren't performing as efficiently as they should, but that's not unusual in a lady her age.
So our next step is the tooth extraction and, if necessary, a biopsy of the tenacious sore inside her mouth. Or maybe not. The animal hospital my vet has referred me to specializes in this sort of thing and we're going to let them decide.
Because she's behaving normally and her test results were better than I expected, I'm going to schedule her for March. I have a trip to Tampa scheduled for the end of February (hello, Anthony Rizzo!) and I don't want to leave her when she's recovering.
I don't know how people with human children do it. These decisions are hard!
*The same vet tech never said that about my beige demon, Reynaldo. 😼
Thirteen "Crimes of the Century."I've been reading Vincent Bugliosi's dissection of the JFK Assassination and agree that murder was the most consequential crime of the 20th century. It changed everything about American life, from the amendment of our Constitution to ensure we always have a Vice President, to how news is covered, to how we mourn.
Yet the 1900's were filled with Crimes of the Century. Here are just 13 that were referred to that way by Time, Life, or Newsweek.
1. The Fatty Arbuckle Scandal (1920). A popular movie comedian was arrested for rape and murder. Fatty Arbuckle was tried three times (the first two ended in mistrials) and was ultimately acquitted, but his career was over.
2. Leopold and Loeb (1924). Two affluent students at the University of Chicago decided to commit the perfect crime. They didn't. Bobby Franks was reported missing on May 21. By May 31, the state's attorney announced to the press that both suspects had confessed. What made this shocking wasn't the crime as much as the motive. Two boys murdered a third ... just to see if they could. Legal genius Clarence Darrow successfully saved them from the death penalty. Not because they weren't guilty, but because Leopold and Loeb were teenagers at the time of the murder.
3. Lindbergh Kidnapping (1932). The infant child of American hero Charles Lindbergh was abducted from their home and found dead 11 days later. A carpenter was convicted and sentenced to death for murder. Later that year, a law was passed to make kidnapping a federal offense.
4. The Brink's Job (1950). Nearly $3 million (almost $35 million in today's dollars) was lifted from the Brink's building in Boston. This one went unsolved until just days before the statute of limitations expired and one of the crooks squealed on the others.
5. The Lana Turner Affair (1958). Johnny Stompanato, a well-known mobster, was found dead in his girlfriend's Los Angeles home. Normally this wouldn't have been a big deal except his girlfriend was a movie star and he was stabbed by a 14-year-old girl. She was the daughter of sex symbol Lana Turner, who overheard a violent fight and took a knife from the kitchen to defend her mother. The girl was cleared of all charges, but you can imagine what a big freaking deal this was. And oh! The rumors! Lana really did it and her daughter took the rap ... it was a love triangle and Johnny was doing both mother and daughter ... Unlike Fatty Arbuckle, Lana Turner's career was revived by the scandal, enabling her to transition from sex symbol to "suffering mother" roles in big screen Technicolor melodramas.
6. Richard Speck (1966). A drifter broke in and held 9 student nurses captive for about four hours, raping and stabbing 8. He would have gotten away with it if the 9th, Corazon Amurao, hadn't slipped silently under a bed, listening in terror to the slaughter but then bravely leading Chicago police to capture Richard Speck. First she described him to authorities (right down to his "Born to Raise Hell" tattoo) and then she faced him and testified against him in court. I was only a little girl, but I recall thinking Corazon Amurao behaved as bravely as any soldier in battle. I'm happy to report that she became a nurse, had a long, successful career, and is a grandmother.
7. The Tate-Labianca Murders (1969). 7 people -- including actress Sharon Tate -- were killed in two incidents in August 1969. I bet you know the rest.
8. The Patty Hearst Kidnapping (1974). Self-styled terrorists broke in and kidnapped a 19-year-old girl at gunpoint and kept her in a closet for 8 weeks. I bet you know the rest.
9. The Son of Sam (1977).David Berkowitz committed 8 shootings, killing 6, using a .44 caliber handgun. He taunted New York police by sending letters to New York Daily News columnist Jimmy Breslin. He is currently serving six consecutive life sentences.
10. John Wayne Gacy (1978). No one knows for sure how many boys John Gacy murdered because many of them were gay runaways and in the 1970s, parents weren't willing to come forward and cooperate with police because they were ashamed their sons were homosexual. (No, I'm not kidding.) The last boy he kidnapped was much-loved by his family and when the 15-year-old failed to come home from his after-school job, a police investigation led to Gacy's home in Norridge, IL. Authorities were shocked to find 26 boys buried under his crawlspace. 4 more were retrieved from Des Plaines River. 5 of the victims remain unidentified to this day. Gacy was put to death by the State of Illinois in 1994. I'm against the death penalty, but this sadistic SOB rapist murderer has given me pause. He was a monster.
11. America's Biggest Art Heist (1990). Two men dressed as police officers gained entry into a Boston art gallery after closing. They tied up the guards and left with 34 works of art (including Vermeer, Degas, and Rembrandt) worth between $300 and $500 million. Law enforcement was confused by the choice of paintings (and one vase), for while the ones snatched are valuable, better known and more expensive pieces were untouched. This crime remains unsolved, though the FBI seems pretty sure it was done by the mafia on the behest of a very, very well-to-do art collector who paid upfront for specific pieces for his personal enjoyment.
12. The OJ Simpson Case (1994). A retired running back was first found not guilty in criminal court but then found liable in civil court for the murder of his ex-wife and a young man in the courtyard of her home. I bet you know the rest.
13. The Columbine Massacre (1999).The first school shooting. Alas, not the last.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
1. when did you last sing to yourself I sing to myself every morning along with the shower radio. This morning it was the Spinners' "Could It Be I'm Falling in Love."
2. if you’re male, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re female, would you ever rock really really short hair? I wear my hair short, but not Sinead O'Connor short. I wouldn't. My hair is my thing.
3. what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? I am pleased that my life has touched the lives of others in a meaningful way. You know, a la George Bailey.
4. what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? Recent: My cat Connie has spent a lot of time at the vet over the last week or so. It's been difficult for her because she's shy and doesn't understand what is happening. Strange people manhandling her! New smells! Dogs in close proximity! So it touched my heart and made me so happy to wake up to find her curled up asleep on the pillow beside me. She is happy to be home and trusts me.
5. if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Of course. It's an overwhelming question so I don't have a quick answer, but I'm sure I would organize myself and make it easier to make each day count.
6. do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? I don't do the bucket list thing. It's things you want to do before you kick the bucket, aka die. Why would I want to accomplish things that bring me closer to death?
7. how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? Everyone should do whatever they want.
8. do you feel you had a happy childhood? No. But it had happy moments.
8. when did you last cry in front of another person? Back in September. I was sick and scared and overwhelmed. It was memorable because I've been working since I was 17 and this was the only time I ever cried in a professional setting. I'll always remember how comforting my newest team member was. Rita kept saying, "I've got you, girlie."
9. who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? I have three friends that worry about almost constantly -- Henry, John and my oldest friend. I'd love to hear from any one of the three that they are happy and at peace.
10. what is your night time routine? I make sure that my Elvis/Graceland mug is full of water and right where I can reach it overnight. With my proclivity for kidney stones, I'm supposed to stay hydrated.
11. when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? It was probably my oldest friend because she lives in California, two hours earlier so it was only 1am for her.
12. if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? I need more context. It would be different if I were falling from the sky in a plane crash than if I'm in a bed in assisted living.
13. what is your opinion on brown eyes? His are bottomless and beautiful.
14. pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. JFK: "One person can make a difference, and everyone should try." We're all capable of kindness and making the right choices. Those kindnesses and choices reverberate.
15. what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? What the Ever-Loving F? It's a phrase I find myself saying more and more often.
Except we aren't. Some proud members of the GOP made fun of the attack. Others made the victim complicit. I doubt, though, that any of them are ashamed.
I remember a comment Mary Trump made about her famous uncle. "The cruelty is the point." Some MAGA folks equate cruelty with strength and strength with power. What galls me about them is that they uniformly claim to be Christian. Their behavior reflects what I learned in the schoolyard, not in Sunday School.
Adam Kinzinger is a former representative with whom I agree on almost no policy issues. But I have never doubted that he is decent and has a moral compass. Maybe because he's a decorated veteran who flew missions in Afghanistan, he doesn't feel the need to prove his bravery by being bitchy at the keyboard. Anyway, I love his Twitter post.
1) In this song, Judy Garland sings about the train whistle and wheels. What sounds make you happy? There's a ton of pleasure and comfort to be derived from a cat's purr.
2)
She tells us that, since she loves dreaming of train travel, she must
have "a little gypsy in her heart." How about you? Do you often dream of
visiting faraway places? Yes. If I had unlimited funds (I don't) there are vacation spots I'd love to return to. Especially Colonial Williamsburg. I loved spending half my visit immersing myself in history, the other half "in pursuit of wellness" at the resort spa. Bliss!
The courtyard of the Col. Williamsburg Spa
3) Judy sings about a future when she's "old and gray and settled down." At what age do you consider a person is old? I am now 65 and consider myself old. Insurance companies predict I'll live another 15 years. I am grateful I still feel as good as I do. It's funny, but whenever I think about the passage of time and aging, this same moment pops into my head. I'm 9 years old, stretched out on the grass in the backyard, reading this book. I have no idea why this book or that moment are so indelible, but they are.
4) This song is from the movie, The Harvey Girls.
Filming was a time of stress for Judy. She was appearing before the
cameras by day (she sprained her ankle in a scene where slips down a
hill), recording the soundtrack by night, and dealing with lawyers
regarding her divorce from composer David Rose. Yet watching the movie,
none of the tension shows. Do you work well under pressure? Yes. I have been known to fall apart a little in private afterward, but in the moment I handle pressure well.
5) Judy relaxed on the set by knitting and would make blankets and caps for the children of crew members. Do you knit? Nope.
6) Judy admitted she had a problem with tardiness. Do you strive to be prompt? Pretty much. It's the result of a life spent on public transportation, which runs (or attempts to run) on schedule.
7)
In 1946, when this song was on the radio, cigarette cases were very
popular. Since these metal cases were standard issue in the Army during
WWII, many soldiers got into the habit of using them and continued to
after the war ended. Women often carried fabric or leather cigarette
cases that closed with a clasp like a coin purse. In the 1940s, elegant
cigarette cases were a fashionable gift but today, they are largely
forgotten. Did you ever carry one? Do you know anyone who did? My mom's mom had one that like this. It must have been real leather because she took good care of it, often wiping it with a napkin. I remember thinking she was trying to make a dirty habit pretty.
8) Also in 1946, bikinis appeared for the first time on runways in Paris. How often did you don swimwear during 2022? Not once. 9)
Random question: Thinking of your past romantic involvements, were you
truly in love with one of them, some of them, or all of them? I think I've been truly in love three times, which means my answer would be, "some of them."
Thirteen facts about Truman Capote.To me, Truman Capote is like Woody Allen. He was undeniably talented, so divinely gifted I'm convinced he could pull the sword from the stone. He was also morally bankrupt. I admit I find people like this fascinating. Why does God lavish such talent on schmucks? I'm a lovely person, but I don't have a soupcon of Truman's ability as a storyteller.
1. He was born Truman Streckfus Persons. His parents separated when he was just two years old and he was shuttled among relatives until his mother remarried. He was adopted by his stepfather and became Truman Garcia Capote.
2. He spent his early summers in Monroeville, AL, where he lived next door to Harper Lee. He was the model for Dill in To Kill a Mockingbird and the two authors remained friends throughout his life ... even though he was jealous that she won a Pulitzer, a prize that eluded him. He was quoted as saying that when it comes to Mockingbird, he didn't "know what the fuss is about."
3. Truman was a naturally talented writer who achieved greatness with only a 12th grade education. He was very proud of this.
4. His third novel,Breakfast at Tiffany's (1958) elevated his profile and inspired Norman Mailer to call Truman "the most perfect writer of my generation." In the movie version, Audrey Hepburn played Holly Golightly and it became her signature role.
5. Highly versatile and productive between 1944 and 1965, he published novels, short stories, and essays. He completed a screenplay (Humphrey Bogart's 1953 film Beat the Devil) and collaborated on a Broadway musical, House of Flowers. Both Diahann Carroll and Barbra Streisand made popular recordings of "A Sleepin' Bee" from that show.
6. His 1966 book, In Cold Blood, was not only brilliant, it was highly successful. It was #1 on the New York Times best-seller list for three months, and today it's still the second most popular true crime novel of all time. (Helter Skelter about the Sharon Tate murders is #1.)
7. It is a heartbreakingly beautiful book that concentrates on more than the details of a violent crime. It's the story of two Americas and what happened in 1959 when they collided. The Clutter family was well-respected and well-educated, murdered in their own home by a pair of loser repeat criminals, who were in turn put to death by the state.
8. Truman literally spent yearsvisiting Kansas, learning about the Clutters and the impact of their deaths on the community of Holcomb, as well as getting the life stories of the two murderers. The result of his research was undoubtedly compelling, but his techniques remain controversial to this day. He flattered, wooed and perhaps even bribed prison officials to gain access to the accused. He then manipulated the murderers, leading them to believe that not only would his book be a sympathetic portrayal, he was looking for a high-powered New York attorney who could handle their appeal and keep them from facing the gallows. Neither was true. Do the ends justify the means? Does the creation of a timeless book mitigate the exploitation of the vulnerable?
9. In Cold Blood made Truman a celebrity.He threw what has been called the 20th century's most famous party, The Black and White Ball. He became a staple in gossip columns and often appeared with talk show hosts Dick Cavett and Johnny Carson.His long-time lover, Jack Dunphy, worried that life among The Beautiful People distracted Truman from his work. He was certainly less prolific as his fame increased. He was able to live for the rest of his life from the profits of In Cold Blood and Breakfast at Tiffany's, his share of the movie rights, and fees from speaking engagements ... and never finished another book.
10. Truman had many celebrity feuds during this period. He ended up in court when Gore Vidal sued him. His tempestuous relationships with his high society friends has inspired the next season of the Ryan Murphy's Feud series.
11. He used the secrets these famous women confided over decades of friendship to lead him out of writer's block. In magazine excerpts of his unfinished novel, Answered Prayers, it was obvious that names were changed but facts were not. He had gleefully told these famous women that he had the power to "break up any couple in New York." With Answered Prayers, it appeared he was trying to do so maliciously and for profit. These friends, who had no idea Truman was using them as fodder, retaliated by cutting him. Being banished from his social circle was more crushing to Truman than he'd anticipated. Being one of The Beautiful People had become his identity.
12. As his isolation increased, his drug use escalated and professional opportunities dwindled. Always a heavy smoker and drinker, he began regularly abusing cocaine and marijuana.He began spending less time with his long-time partner, Jack Dunphy. His speaking engagements dried up after he appeared on a New York talk show clearly intoxicated (he admitted to the interviewer, "If I don't quit drinking, I'll kill myself").
13. He died in the guestroom of his friend, Joanne Carson (ex-wife of Johnny). The coroner declared the cause of death liver disease "complicated by multiple drug intoxication." He was a month shy of his 60th birthday.
Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.
WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to
prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book
lovers responded, click here.
PS
I can no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her
blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the
frustration I experienced trying to link up.
1. What are you currently reading? Reclaiming History by Vincent Bugliosi. Buckle up, Buttercups! This is a deep dive, more than 1500 pages, into the JFK assassination. It's written by a lifetime lawyer, Vincent Bugliosi, best-known for convicting Charles Manson and his "family" after the Sharon Tate murders. In private practice, he successfully defended a high-profile murder suspect. What you need to know about Mr. Bugliosi is this: while he has enormous respect for the victims in his cases, he treats their murders as crimes. He assumes nothing and simply follows the evidence. The murder of the President may have been the crime of the century, but it was a homicide and a staggering amount of forensics point to only one man.
Lee Harvey Oswald did it, folks. He acted alone. The evidence is overwhelming. And even if all the evidence didn't point to Oswald, there is nothing credible that points to anyone else. Bugliosi takes each conspiracy theory and debunks it with verifiable facts.
Bugliosi maintains that conspiracy theorists are "patriotic kooks." I think he's too kind. There's nothing patriotic about distorting American history for your own amusement. Or about casting aspersions on the men of the Warren Commission or -- far worse -- Officer JD Tippit (tell me again how you "support the blue") or spewing QAnon drivel. Especially when a real-life conspiracy is unraveling before our eyes (the wife of a Supreme Court Justice admitted texting the White House Chief of Staff and called the 2020 election "a heist"; yeah, that's normal).
Whenever I see the Kennedys splattered by WWG1WGA mud, I'm reminded that Jackie referred to much of what had been written about her and her family as "the river of sludge that will go on and on." The lady herself died in 1994, long before this book was published. While I don't think she would have read it, I'm certain she would have appreciated it.
2. What did you recently finish reading?Agatha Raisin and the Vicious Vet by MC Beaton. This is the second book I've read in this series about a successful London PR exec who retired to a quiet village in
the country. She's bored and finds herself getting involved with the lives of her neighbors, people she tends to dismiss as bumpkins but is coming to care about, despite herself.
This book begins with her crushing on her neighbor, but he seems uninterested so she turns her
attention to the handsome new vet. When the vet turns up dead, the police declare his death an unfortunate
accident, but Agatha decides it's murder and sets out to prove it.
I enjoy spending time with Agatha in Cottswold. I especially like her platonic relationship with Det. Bill Wong, a young man with whom she appears to have nothing in common, yet they are frank with and fond of one another. The thing is, though, I'm not all that crazy about these mysteries as mysteries. The plotting is forgettable and more than a little lazy. This book ends with the killer tying up all the loose ends for us by confessing ... and confessing ... and confessing at a moment when s/he would most likely in real life use that time destroying evidence or getting away. God, that annoys me!
Constance MacKenzie is bright eyed and affectionate. A very good girl. Which is why it's hard for me to believe, contrary to the evidence, that she's ill.
But here's the thing: she has a sore in her mouth that isn't healing and she's lost a pound since November. When I took her in last Thursday, the vet detected a heart murmur. Blood was drawn, and as we await the test results, Connie is on a course of prednisone.
I still haven't heard back from the vet. There are three in the practice, and the one who treated Connie doesn't have hours every day. I could call and get the results, but I don't want to. I want to pretend she's OK.
My burying my head in the sand isn't costing her anything. The vet wants her to finish the prednisone and then she'll schedule an EKG to assess her heart condition.
Connie ca 2014
When I first adopted her almost 9 years ago, I knew she was considered "special needs" and that our time together wouldn't be long. She was malnourished by a well-meaning but batty hoarder. Her gums were bloody, she was carrying a litter of dead kittens (a healthy cat would have miscarried), and her eyes were so light sensitive she could barely keep them open. I've done the best I can and I know she's happy. In fact, she's been so happy that it's been easy to forget that when I adopted her, she already had used up at a few of those legendary 9 lives.
1) In this week's song, Prince insists there's no particular sign he's more compatible with. Do you take astrology seriously? Not really. I have a Sagittarius necklace I wear occasionally because I bought it during happy times in Key West, not because I care about my sign.
2) He tells his prospective lover there's no need to be flirty. Are you a good flirt? Ha! No. I think it's because I am, as a male friend once pointed out to me, "completely unable to engage in small talk."
3) He refers to the nighttime soap opera Dynasty. Were you a fan? Nope. I preferred Dallas. 4)
"Kiss" was recorded at Sunset Sound Recorders in Hollywood. Built by
Walt Disney Studio, it's the studio where the soundtracks to Mary Poppins and 101 Dalmatians were recorded. When you think of Disney movies, what's the first song that comes to mind?
5)
Prince said he was "obsessed" with Mozart and read everything he could
find about the master. Do you often read biographies? If yes, who was
the last one about? Yes. I recently finished Deliberate Cruelty, which was a dual biography of Truman Capote and socialite Ann Woodward, with a sharp focus on how his unfinished novel ruined both their lives. It's about wielding power, whether that power comes with wealth, status, or talent. I already knew the bare bones of the story, so kudos to author Roseanne Montillo for making this tale of two damaged people on a tragic collision course so compelling.
6)
He loved snacking while watching a movie in the theater and would mix
Goobers (chocolate-covered peanuts) with his popcorn. When you go to the
movies, do you visit the concession counter? Always. First of all, because I know those over-priced snacks are part of how movie houses make money and I want to support my local theater. Also because it's just a tasty part of my movie-going experience.
7) In 1986, when this song was popular, Peewee's Playhouse premiered. While ostensibly for children, this show had many, many adult viewers. Do you ever watch kids' shows today? No.
8) Also in 1986, Sears shoppers were painting their interior walls with "Country Clover," a pale beige with a hint of pink. What color is the room you're in right now? Pale blue with a white ceiling.
9)
Random question: Do you enjoy pressing the pedal to the metal and driving fast? I don't drive.
I think it's because there was such a horrible inevitability to Lisa Marie Presley's death at 54. I feel like the girl never had a chance, and I feel bad for her.
First of all, heart disease ran in the Presley family. Grandmother Gladys was an old-before-her-time 46 when she died of a heart attack. Elvis was 42 when his heart attack killed him. Grandfather Vernon was the last to go, dying of (say it with me) a heart attack at 63.
Then there's addiction. Gladys dealt with depression by turning to pills and alcohol. Elvis had codeine, Demerol and Valium in his bloodstream when he died. Priscilla Presley cited Lisa Marie's drug use when she petitioned for custody of Lisa Marie's twins (though in 2020, a judge commended Lisa Marie for overcoming her problem with drugs and alcohol when the girls were returned to her). Lisa Marie herself spoke openly about how much she hated cigarettes but found it a struggle to quit.
And heartache. I know, no one gets through life without pain. But not everyone goes through it with the world watching. She was home when her father died in the bathroom, and at 9 years old she became an heiress to his estate. Her unfortunate marriage to Michael Jackson took place as he began battling abuse allegations. Her son Ben committed suicide in 2020, and shortly before her own death she admitted the grief was "unrelenting."
That's a lot to endure in a short lifetime. I hope now her soul is finally at peace.
I've been watching a lot of movies lately. A wide variety. Both at home and on the big screen at my local theater, and I've enjoyed every moment.
It's long been fashionable to say, "They don't make 'em like they used to." It's also incredibly lazy and elitist. For example, let's take a closer look at a popular 2022 movie that felt like a throwback to the classics I love.
Ticket to Paradise is a romantic comedy of errors starring George Clooney and Julia Roberts. It's lightweight, the cinematic equivalent of a candy bar -- you enjoy it while you're consuming it, but you're not really going to remember it after it's over.
There were a ton of such movies in Hollywood's Golden Age, and Clooney and Roberts remind me of the stars of those days. They are beautiful, charismatic, and as comfortable being elegant as ridiculous.
Clooney reminds me of Cary Grant. Exquisite in a tux, but just as winning in a wig made from a horse's tail or swinging from a railway crossing gate (I Was a Male War Bride). And both men have made aging an artform.
Julia Roberts reminds me of Jean Arthur. A clotheshorse, a designer's dream. A smart cookie, able to succeed in a man's world without sacrificing her femininity. She's just as comfortable being the beauty who inspires love poems as she is the faux mobster mall who spins tall tales with a cigarette dangling from her lips (The Whole Town's Talking).
Here are other modern movies I've seen recently that I highly recommend. Each is more consequential and thought provoking than Ticket to Paradise.
The Fabelmans.Steven Spielberg's autobiographical look back at the disintgration of a family and the birth of an artist. Someone from my movie group snarked all over it, calling it "self indulgent." I thought it was honest and intimate.
The Whale. Brendan Fraser is a morbidly obese recluse who knows his life is slipping away and wants to make his life and relationships right before he goes. Fraser is magnificent. The movie felt exploitative to me, displaying and exposing him like a freak. But Fraser transcends the tawdry and touched my heart with just his eyes.
The Banshees of Inisheren. A tiny Irish island is populated by idiosyncratic characters, including Padraic, Colm and Siobhan. One day Colm decides to end his long friendship with Padraic. No incident sparked this; Colm just decides there's more to life than listening to Padraic (who is, if we're honest, rather thick). The end of a friendship can be as heartbreaking and confusing as the end of a romance. Siobhan is Padraic's sister, and as much as she loves her brother, she knows can't help him with this. This movie has been described as a dark comedy and there were moments that made me smile, but I don't think it's funny at all.
A Man Called Otto. I loved this little movie. A widower (Tom Hanks) concludes everyone he meets is an idiot -- neighbors (especially), store keepers, customer service at the utilities, everyone. Marisol moves in across the street and she insists he engage with her and her family, helping him see the good in life.
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