Apparently I'm Poultry

Last Monday, five days ago, I told my boss that this week was going to be difficult. Not impossible, not even back-breakingly hard, but difficult. I gave him a rundown of why (which, one could reasonably argue, he should have known already), and asked him to coordinate with the account team. After all, I am not a boss.* I have no real authority over any of my coworkers. Except to be a nagging bitch, which gets tiresome. So I wanted him to man up and be the boss.

Most of the week I just kept slogging. I want to do my job well. I respect my client and want to do right by them. I felt I was making compromises to keep the peace in the office because having the days go by uneventfully seems to be what my boss wants. However, I have not always been happy with the quality of product we are cranking out. This is especially distressing to me because we begean the year with unpleasant news about the status of our business.

On Thursday, my boss called me from the road to tell me how things looked on his end and he told me, pleasantly but firmly, that Friday was going to be difficult and he really needed me in before 9:00. I was perplexed because 1) DUH! I knew Friday was going be hard and flagged it to him days ago! and 2) my opposite number, Phil, wouldn't be in until 10:00 because of a long-scheduled dentist appointment. But whatever. I had told my boss I needed him to run things, coordinate things, TO BE THE BOSS and make sure the work got done and was confident he wouldn't let me down.

So imagine my surprise when I got in yesterday at 8:50 and saw my boss walking around rather aimlessly around. "Phil's not here. I mean, I knew that. But what are we going to do till he gets in?"

So the Bossman is asking me? He clearly forgot Phil wouldn't be in for our first, internal creative review. Goodie. Hanging up my coat and changing out of my boots I faked a plan of attack, even though I felt the direction should have been flowing from him to me, not the other way around. I said we could go over my work at 9:00, Phil's at 10:00, and then sit down with the account team at 11:00. He nodded.

So now it's about 9:15. I am collecting the rest of the team -- minus Phil -- to go over our work with our boss before we show it to the account team. The account team that my boss was supposed to talk to earlier this week, to coordinate with days ago. As I head to the conference room, I hear little computer alarms going off in office after cubicle. The account team has set up a meeting from 10:00 to 10:30 to review our work.

That can't happen. My boss has no plan. He has discussed nothing with them.

I have no authority over them. I feel like I spend a portion of every workday trying to get things worked out with a resistant account team and I am tired. I have asked my boss to do it. He has not.

"So we're supposed to meet with the account team without Phil?" I ask, calling out to my boss on my way into the ladies room. It's obvious he hasn't seen the meeting invitation and knows nothing about it. Good, fine. So glad he's on it. So glad he's handling it. So glad he's doing his job?

I slip into the conference room and hear him telling the rest of the team that I am "starting the Chicken Little shit already." He did seem startled to hear my voice over his shoulder, "And here she is, Chicken Little herself."

What I really wanted to say was, "Fuck you."

Neither he nor I acknowledged the embarrassing moment and dove into the work. But I can't tell you how disheartened and pissed I am that HE was angry at ME. For not doing his job to his standards, I guess.

All of us wanted to get out of the office by 5:00 yesterday because it's the beginning of the long MLK weekend. My boss caught his early train by leaving at 4:30. I was on the 6:40. He didn't even review the work with me before he left, so he won't have a chance to compare notes with me before I present it at 1:00 on Tuesday afternoon, down at the clients' office.

Yes, he knows I can handle it all. Yes, he knows I can get it all done. Yes, he knows I'll sell the crap out of the work, even if I'm not 110% confident in it.

But the way I get it all accomplished, I guess, is by riding people and expecting a lot from them and "starting the Chicken Little shit" from word go.

If he doesn't like it, perhaps he should take over from me a bit.

* I was a boss at a previous agency. I hated it so much that I took a $30,000 pay cut to move one rung down the ladder when I took this job. I miss the money but I DO NOT WANT TO BE A BOSS. And if I'm not being compensated for it, I resent having the responsibility.

A Del Amitri Kind of Day

I have had better days here at the old creative plantation. But this Scottish pop band is keeping me sane. I love the tension between their sound (which is upbeat and almost relentlessly hitsville) and their lyrics (which display a certain cynicism).


Not Where Its At

Conan vs. Jay

The news is full of the NBC debacle. Was giving Leno five hours of prime time each week a brave experiment or an unimaginative way to save money? Is Conan's Tonight Show underperforming in the ratings compared to Leno's? Will NBC be sorry if Fox snaps Conan up because Leno's audience is so much older? Has Leno been a weak lead-in for the affiliates who count so heavily on the local news for revenue? Or is the new owner of NBC, Comcast, eager to dump Leno because it's hungry for scripted comedies and dramas that sell better ON DEMAND?

It's all interesting from a marketing and programming POV, but as a viewer? At 10:30 (CST) I'm strictly Colbert Nation.

A good place to give

UNICEF is devoted to "The State of the World's Children," always a noble goal, but especially important now, when we see the devastation in Haiti.

I admit it -- I'm an "America First" kinda girl. If a hurricane, earthquake, tsunami, etc., happens to another country, it doesn't grip me the way Katrina did. When I see celebrities adopting children from far off lands to draw attention to the plight over there, my first impulse is to scream, "There are children in Chicago who could use help, too!"

But this Haitian nightmare has touched even my hard heart. Especially when, this morning, I saw a plane arrive in Port au Prince from Cuba. If Cubans, who have less than we do, can pitch in, so can I.

So I made a donation to UNICEF.

For I'm not only a citizen of the United States, I'm a citizen of the world. And we must help children because they cannot help themselves.

Oh! If only!

You Are More Like Audrey Hepburn

You are classy, stylish, and charming. You are the true definition of grace. Some people may think you're a pushover, but they have no idea how tough you can be. You tend to draw people in with your mind. You are an intelligent and witty flirt. You are effortlessly gorgeous and naturally appealing. No one would accuse you of trying too hard.

Are You More Marilyn or Audrey?

Blogthings: We're Not Shrinks, But We Play Them On the Internet

Distracting myself

I really do have more important things that I should be doing right now. But woman does not live by work alone. So I am taking this respite to marvel that -- at least from this angle -- Greg Maddux once had a pretty good ass.

Now even the most casual reader of this blog must know how I adore my beloved future Hall of Famer. But he's retired now, his 40th birthday is in his rear view mirror, and -- like the rest of us -- there is a bit more of him to love these days. Also, even as a young man, his appeal was more his focus and control and less his physique.

So I forgot that he once had a pretty good ass.

Boys in tight pants -- that really is much of why I miss baseball.

Now, back to the sexy world of financial marketing.

I brought work home with me tonight

But I'm not gonna do it. I already sacrificed NCIS. I missed the season premiere of American Idol! I've given up enough of my own evening for the job! I'm going to curl up with a cat, a can of Coke, and The Good Wife.

He's Back! He's Back! He's Back! He's Back!

Greg Maddux named special assistant to Chicago Cubs GM Jim Hendry

My beloved future Hall of Famer is returning to the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field! Welcome home, Professor. You are my all-time favorite Cub and summer hasn't been the same without you.

Damn, I miss baseball.

Spooky

I had a doctor's appointment this evening and on the way home, I thought someone was following me too closely. In this weather, I can't tell you gender -- just that this person was wearing a jacket. I stopped and looked in a store window and the person passed me, but then, as I turned down the rather isolated side street leading to my home, the person somehow ended up behind me again.

I truly didn't know what to do. Fortunately a train pulled in and commuter after commuter got off and started walking up the street toward me. I got to the corner, looked around, and my new best friend was somehow gone.

Makes me kinda shiver. On the one hand, I'd rather be safe than sorry. On the other hand, who wants to be paranoid?

Swamped

I find myself sinking in a sea of projects. I'm not complaining -- not after last week's not-so-positive meeting. It's good to be busy! I'm just explaining why I might not be posting so much today.

"Awesome! Great!"

That's what my nephew said when I presented him with a folder of all 50 commemorative quarters. They were a gift for him from my friend Edgardo, the one I visit in Key West. He put a lot of time into the collection, and wanted to share them with someone who would appreciate it. He certainly made a good choice with my nephew.

This afternoon my nephew composed a "thank you" note to Edgardo. At the bottom he included a drawing of himself, on the sofa, being thrilled at the moment he received his gift.

I have a good friend, and a good nephew.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Current Obsessions Meme

Instructions: Answer the Current Obession category and then explain WHY you chose that response.

Book: U is for Undertow by Sue Grafton. I'm a big fan of this mystery series, and if it wasn't for my "no more books" resolution for 2010, I'd have it now.

Snack: Baked Lay's Potato Chips. Fortunately I don't have any in the house. If I did, I'd inhale them. I think it's the salt.

Restaurant: My favorite local coffee shop. Because it's been "closed for remodeling" since Halloween, yet every time I peer in through the picture windows, everything seems exactly the same. (Except for the dead philodendron.)

Beverage: Hot chocolate. I haven't had any yet this winter, and right now it would really hit the spot.

Decor: I hate my bathroom and keep thinking of ways to redecorate it, if I had the money.

Actor: Robert Downey, Jr. I love his voice. Reminds me of an old boyfriend.

Actress: Carey Mulligan. She starred in An Education, a 2009 movie I enjoyed, and she has created a lot of Oscar buzz.

Movie: Valley of the Dolls. A movie that's so bad it's good. I have the DVD and feel like watching it again.

TV show: Before Dallas or Dynasty, there was Peyton Place. It's been fun to watch it again on DVD, snd the early 1960 primetime soap is alternatingly funny and involving.

Hobby: Following the adventures of the Chicago Cubs. They are my team, my guys, and I miss them desperately during the winter.

Band: The Beatles. I have loved them ever since their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1964.

Song: "My Tears Dry on Their Own" by Amy Winehouse. I'm new to Amy. I had dismissed her as a vulgar strung-out tabloid target. She may be that, but she's much more, too. The heroine of this song is honest and unsparing in her self appraisal,"I should be my own best friend, not fuck myself in the head with stupid men ..."

Meme: Well, I guess it's this one. Completing it seems to have become my life's work.

Blog: My own. It began as a journal. While it's evolved into more than that, and I appreciate the support my online buds have shown me when I have needed it, it still gives me very valuable insights who I was and how I felt at specific moments in time.

Lover: I have been in love three times, unless you count Sir Paul, which would swell the grand total to 4. It's ironic that I haven't been intimate with each man I have loved, nor loved every man I have been intimate with.

Friend: All my friends are my obsession. They are very important to me. Lately I find myself thinking most about Kathleen because she misses her son so much -- he's a freshman at college and while he's thriving in New York, his mom is having a hard time adjusting.

Quote: "The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining," JFK.

Peeve: My own lack of self discipline. It stops me from repairing the roof when the sun is shining.

Sport: Again, my Chicago Cubs. I really don't have the capacity to be obsessed with any other team.

Singer: My ongoing obsession is Sir Paul, of course. But this weekend I have been listening to Elvis a great deal because Friday would have been his 75th birthday.

The Population of Resolution City Goes WILD!

For today, I made good on my 2010 resolutions:

1) Shape up. I devoted 40 minutes to cardio today -- 25 on the stationery bike and 15 swimming. The latter means 15 mins. swimming, not just splashing about in the pool. No one would confuse me with Dana Torres, but I did the breast stroke and the back stroke for 15 minutes.

2) No more bags. My resolve was sorely tempted this morning. My favorite blue purse suffered a broken strap this week and I almost hit "send" when I saw that eBags had similar bags on sale. But no. I decided to see if they can't repair this one at the shoe repair. And if they can't, well, I'll have to make do with the contents of my personal inventory.

3) No more books. Even though there was a most seductive "sale" sign in the window of Border's, I stayed away. Even better, I saved money by getting a free lunch at Bruegger's (salmon softwich and bottle of Tropicana) thanks to a coupon, free admission to It's Complicated (my "buy 7 tickets, get the 8th free" theater punch card) and a free medium popcorn, courtesy of another coupon.

Today I proved to myself that I can indeed make progress toward becoming healthier and wealthier. Let's hear it for the Gal!

I'm not in love. It's just a silly phase I'm going through.

This is Nigel Barker -- fashion photographer and judge on America's Next Top Model. He's got a fabulous, fascinating accent (English but with a touch of something exotic) and a confident, "I own this" manner. He's got an edge but he's not as cutting sharp as Simon on AI. But like Simon, I find myself waiting for his critiques of the models. Nigel is why I'm ANTM-obsessed.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Call Me

1. Who phones you routinely that you never seem to be up to talk to, but you are not ready to push them out of your life? No one anymore. It occurred to me over the holidays that our awkward friendship may be over because I didn't get a holiday card from her. She's nice, but we really don't have anything to talk about.

2. What is something that effects you deeply, to your core, no matter your mood or what else is going on in your life? Music. Certain songs have a way of getting right to my gut. No matter how unhappy or rattled I may be, "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire* can lift my spirits.

3. Tell us of something that relaxes you and always makes you happy. Water. Swimming, soaking in a tub or bubbles, even a quick shower can make me feel better.

4. If you could take the train from anywhere to anywhere, where would 'anywhere' be? I have fantasized about this. Escaping by myself for the weekend by taking the next Amtrak out of Union Station. Not going far, but not going to a predetermined destination -- just deciding when I get to the ticket window. St. Louis ... Kansas City ... Milwaukee ... Minneapolis ...

5. If you could look into the future, how far down the road would you like to see? 10 years? 100 years? A million? I'd like to check in on myself and my loved ones in 10 year intervals. Maybe fly around with The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come for the night.

6. Did you do your shopping online for this Christmas, how did it go? Did things come in on time? Any significant failures? ...and if you didn't, will you consider trying online shopping sometime this year? Everything went well. Special kudos to Signals, who got me the bracelet I ordered my mom just in time.

7. What people or projects are worth your time, money or effort? I'm partial to efforts that help kids and critters, since they can't help themselves. American Humane is an especially worthy organization.

8. Think back when you were in high school. Are you proud of the way you dressed, or do you wish you could go back and change it all? I think I dressed OK. Jeans and tshirts are pretty timeless. It's my hair -- long and so frizzy that it was always either pulled back or held up in barrettes -- that was really awful.

9. Do any of your friends, family or co-workers know about your blogs? For those that do, did you tell them or have they stumbled upon it by themselves? My oldest friend actually stumbled upon it. She's the only one I know who has found it.


*"Ba-de-ya. Say do you remember, ba-de-ya. Dancing in September, ba-de-ya. Golden dreams were shiny days."

Don't just sit there. DO SOMETHING!

Like grab your wallet.

On January 19, the people of Massachusetts go to the polls to elect a new senator to take Ted Kennedy's seat (which had been JFK's before him). Attorney General Martha Coakley is the Democratic candidate. She's having trouble in the polls right now. Apparently her Republican opponent is outspending her and closing the gap between them, despite the fact that Coakley supports:

• Health care reform
• Ending discrimination based on gender, race, national origin, age or sexual orientation
• Developing renewable energy technology
• Veterans' services
• A woman's right to choose

I cannot tell you how upsetting it is to think of someone who doesn't share those views taking Ted Kennedy's seat and voting against health care reform ... or sitting beside John Kerry and not supporting enhanced veterans' services ... or using JFK's senate seat to oppose legislation to guarantee equal opportunity.

Moveon.org says she's being "swiftboated." Maybe that's true, maybe not. I am not slavishly devoted to Moveon and don't always share their POV on things.

I am, however, slavishly devoted to liberal (or progressive, whichever you prefer) causes, and the idea that government should do for the individual what the individual can't do alone.

So I sent a contribution to Martha Coakley. It was only $15, but I have worked on enough campaigns to know that any amount helps, especially this late in the game.

Besides, I couldn't bear to hear the news on January 19 that she lost, knowing I did nothing to help her election.

You and me both, Sister!

This is turning into another one of those days. If only it wasn't both illegal and socially unacceptable to bite and claw your coworkers ...

Not a good way to start the day

My building had no hot water this morning. And the elevator didn't work. And the ATM tried to eat my debit card. Oh yeah, and I learned you can't gain access to the el with a health club membership card.

Damn but this has been the ugliest day of an ugly week.

Happy Birthday, Your Highness

Right now I'm listening to "See See Rider" by The King himself. Don't worry, though. I'll get to "Jailhouse Rock," the song you see him performing here, before the day is over.

Today would have been Elvis' 75th birthday, and it must be observed.

First time this decade

Spent a half hour on the treadmill this evening. Got my heart rate up and burned over 100 calories. Of all the exercises I do, this is my least favorite. Yet, as with just about all my workouts, I'm always glad I did it afterward.

A little romance

It's snowing outside, but I'm warm and cozy here at my desk, eating my oatmeal and enjoying the Lads. I'm listening to the really old, seriously adorable songs -- "She Loves You," "I'll Get You," "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and "This Boy."

These are special not only because of the charming melodies and heartbreakingly innocent lyrics, but because of how these three voices meld.

It feels comfy

I'm not feeling so good. My tummy is bothering me. I stopped at the store on the way home and picked up ginger ale and crackers and Fig Newtons. Now I'm sitting on the sofa, all snug, with my cat Charlotte right here with me. I'm watching Olivia and Elliott on SVU and waiting for the snow to start falling -- I believe that up to 6" are predicted for tonight.

Because of my tummy trouble, I can't honestly say I'm enjoying this. But I am content.

That didn't last long, did it?

Read the post below and you'll see that I was getting all mushy over the job I had in the late 1990s. I realized as I wrote it that I was looking at the past through a rose-colored rear-view mirror, but my feelings were sincere.

Then I got an invitation to connect on Linked In from one of my employees from those days. What a diva he was! I resisted the temptation to respond by saying, "But why? You always thought I was a humorless corporate martinet who stifled your creativity with my slavish devotion to deadlines and budgets." Instead I just deleted it. What's the point? He's 2000 miles away in California, and he should only stay there.

Look what I found!

I didn't even realize I had this at the office!

Back in the days when Ally McBeal was first shown, I realize Vonda Shepard was polarizing. OK, I liked her and everyone else I knew hated her. Well, listening to her today, I still like her and think her rendition of "End of the World" is especially poignant.

I also find myself missing my late 1990s coworkers. Memory is kind, isn't it? For today I only remember the good things vividly and the bad things vaguely.

One singular sensation

From Hotstove.com:

The Baseball Writers Association of America just announced that Andre Dawson will be the only player inducted into the Hall of Fame this year.

Congratulations, to The Hawk!

The Queen's Meme

The Band Meme (aka The Album Cover meme)

I admit it. This frightens me.

Yes, you are the busiest woman EVER

But then why are you always on a personal call when I come in to discuss work with you?

That's the way my thought bubble reads today when I approach the art director I'm partnered with. She's going on a business trip tomorrow morning and will probably be gone two days. She's been talking about this for weeks -- since early December, in fact. She also came in to the office two days last week while I was in Florida. So you would think she would have all her ducks in a row: a plan for getting to her final meeting destination, a hotel picked out, etc.

You would think that, but you would be wrong.

She's also so damn exasperated by the little projects that are reappearing on her plate, requiring final revisions before they go to production. You would think that after yesterday's meeting, she would be thrilled and delighted to have too much on her plate. But you would be wrong.

I could forgive all this if she wasn't on the damn phone, and on personal calls, every time I go in to discuss work with her. And then if she didn't have the audacity to roll her eyes and sigh about how busy she is. After all, she has to leave early today for her counseling appointment! And didn't I realize it was going to be cold and snowy when she traveling?

She's not a kid. She's right behind me in age, knocking on 50. You'd think she'd know advertising is a deadline driven industry, that we're now in competition for our jobs and every project is an opportunity to shine, that one of her gazillion personal calls could be to her shrink to reschedule her appointment, that it's been known to snow during a Chicago winter.

You'd think that, but you would be wrong.

Thanks for listening. Sometimes I think the blogosphere actually helps me keep my temper and prevents me from doing her bodily harm.

Today's pick to click

I'm listening to Dusty in Memphis as I write. I love Ms. Springfield's voice, sometimes whispery, often beltastic. And my favorite cut is this one. That's saying a lot, since this song has also been covered by Norah Jones and la Streisand.

Thanks for keeping me company, Dusty, old girl.

Lyrics

It can't hurt

Do you know that adding a shot of vodka to my 20 oz. bottle of Pepsi only puts 56 extra calories on my daily total? And there's no universally accepted scale for measuring how it's benefited my mood.

It's been a rough day. Productive, but not merry. I understand that since I'm a grown up, I can't expect my work or my life to run smoothly every day. However, as a grown up, I am allowed to spike my Pepsi. So I guess it evens out.

Running through my head

Ah, Sweet Baby James

Lyrics

Well, that was unpleasant

The first big meeting of the new decade wasn't a positive one. Nothing having to do with me specifically, but unsettling regarding the business I work on. Trying not to freak out, because freaking out is especially pointless since this is sooooo far beyond my control. Needless to say, though, that the mood here today is most decidedly not upbeat as we embark on the new year.

To my favorite lefty

Left-handed pitcher, that is.*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TED LILLY!
Eat, drink and be merry today because soon you'll report to training camp.

*Both Sir Paul and my best friend are lefties, too.

Welcome to Resolution City

Population: One

In an attempt to become healthier and wealthier this year, I am going to:

1) Shape up. I realized while swimming last week that it's more important to shape up than to be a slave to the scale. So I am renewing my commitment to working out 3x/week, and I won't let it bother me if the needle doesn't move much.

2) No more bags. While I'm sure no one enjoys her handbags as much as I do, I also know no one needs as many as I have. For the sake of money and space, no more bags this year. The last one I bought is shown here. The polyester is made from recycled plastic soda bottles. It's nice that my last purse is a fun one.

3) No more books. My TBR pile remains quite tall. There's no reason for me to purchase more until I reduce it by a couple stories. (I crack me up.)

Wish me luck!

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "What If" Meme

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? My but this is a negative first question! I respectfully choose to protect my karma and not answer.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? Now this one doesn't bother me because it's a public service: Barry Manilow.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Bill Clinton. I worked on both his 1992 and 1996 campaigns and believe he did the country a lot of good. I also have faith in the Clinton Global Initiative. And that he would risk all that, tarnish all that just for a blow job really makes me want to ... well, punch him in the face. Just once. Or maybe a slap would do the trick. I just really want to work though all this lingering frustration.

4. What is your favorite cheese? Helen Reddy.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make? I assume this means I am now giving my sandwich order for the rest of my life: ham, American cheese, lettuce and light mayo on wheat.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Hmm ... I bet the respondents to this meme will leave him tuckered out, but I must go with Mr. Clooney.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick? Bruce. The Boss. You know, the recent Kennedy Center Honoree.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? Wow! I did Clooney and Springsteen one right after the other? Then I'll be spending that $100 at CVS on cranberry juice and a donut pillow.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Atlanta. So I can visit Chateau Elan.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do? Another spa treatment, please.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…? Vodka. There are so many ways to mix it so I'd never get bored.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there? Tavern on the Green, ca. 1985. I want to have lunch with Jacqueline Onassis. I'd like to experience an hour with a lady I admired in her natural habitat, especially since now they're both gone.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Critters must be treated with kindness and respect.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise? Two knowledgeable people with differing points of view discuss a single topic -- always with civility and warmth for one another and perhaps even humor. That way we might actually learn something about the world around us. Of course, I get to choose the topic. One I'd especially like to hear is: "George and Ringo -- talented musicians or just damn lucky?"

15.What is your favorite curse word? Fuck. It's even more versatile than vodka.

16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Scream. And, if I'm naked, cover up. It's never good to be underdressed around mummies.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item? My purse. I can't imagine leaving the house without my purse.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour? Clean up a bit. While going through my belongings, I think my mom would be mortified by what a bad housekeeper I became.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be? Read minds.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? A particular incident of lovemaking with a very particular gentleman. Sigh.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? It involved a male relative and it was icky. Let's leave it at that.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now? Canada. Specially Toronto. I really enjoyed visiting there and found it liveable.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be? I must investigate this and get back to you. After all, I have been banished to Canada and I'm not yet familiar with their bar scene.

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out…I can FLOAT!”? My nephew's. I believe he would be impressed.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life? Abraham Lincoln. I believe President Obama could his advice (and is wise enough to welcome it, too).

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My Grandpa.

27. What’s your theme song? Amy Winehouse -- "My Tears Dry on their Own."

To play along, visit Sunday Stealing!

Making me CRAZY!!!

I've got bug bites on my forearm, on the back of my knees, on my ankles. These bites actually woke me up! It's currently 2º here in Chicago, unbearably frigid to Key West residents, at least now that I'm home I won't be plagued by these little suckers (and I mean "suckers" literally).