So that I'll have sweet dreams

Yes, I start a new workweek tomorrow. And above all, I'll be waiting for a most important call from my doctor. To make sure that I sleep well and wake up happy, my final post will be a reflection on

THE FIRST PLACE CHICAGO CUBS!

My Boys in Blue swept Dusty Baker's* Reds and now find themselves 1/2 game ahead of the Cards. Which is, of course, as it should be.


*Dusty Baker was the manager who allowed the trade of my beloved future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux for Cesar Isturis. Cesar Who, you say? My point exactly.

Memo to Politicians: If you want your kids to be left alone ...

... Don't send them out on an "abstinence speaking tour" and/or encourage them to pose on the cover of People. In her final speech as Alaska's governor Sarah Palin admonished the press to leave her successor's kids alone.

This broad gives me a headache. Less than two months ago, her eldest daughter Bristol appeared solo (I mean, without her parents) on the cover of People magazine. This is no paparazzi shot. This teen mom posed for it. As People announced regarding its exclusive: "Breast-Feeding Before Classes, Staying in on Prom Night—the Alaska Teenager Graduates from High School and Talks Frankly About the Highs and Lows of Her New '24-Hour-a-Day Job'." It was also during early summer 2009 that Bristol appeared on morning talk shows to discuss teen motherhood.

Even the Blagojevichs haven't promoted their kids' public profiles this way. Sure, Patti ate a tarantula on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, but the girls remain off limits. You know you have hit bottom when you make the Blago clan look smart and classy.

I'm sick of Sarah Palin being a professional victim. She actively puts her kids out there, right alongside Jon & Kate, and then whines about the attention. I hope she just goes away. Or gets a talk show on Fox. At least then she'll be contained and easier to avoid.

8 Tubes of Mascara

That's what I just threw out. I have no idea how long I've had some of them, which is dangerous when it comes to something I wear so close to my eyes. That's not why I did it, though. I got tired of wasting time every morning, opening a tube and finding it was dried up or otherwise unusable. Finally I figured the best way to solve this problem was to sit down, go through them, and actually DISCARD the old, dried up or empty mascaras.

Yes, you may alert Mensa now.

Now I'm moving on to the eye shadows.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "Leave It to Meme" Meme

1. Who was your FIRST date? A guy I hung around with, or who, more precisely, let me hang around with him. He was a neighbor boy, a year ahead of me. Soooo sophisticated!

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Nope.

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? A very sweet liqueur from a very ornate bottle. We'd liberated it from our parents' liquor cabinet.

4. What was your FIRST job? Babysitting.

5. What was your FIRST car? An ancient Impala.

6. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Fort Lauderdale to visit my uncle.

7. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk? She's the one I refer to on this blog as "my oldest friend." We've known each other since we were 6.

8. Whose wedding did you attend the FIRST time? Our next door neighbor's son. Billy was in his 20s, I was in Kindergarten. I used to visit with him as he washed his car and he promised he'd marry me. I was really pissed that he not only wasn't waiting for me, but I had to watch him marry HER. (Her name was Sandy and she used a lot of hairspray.) He had an undiagnosed heart problem and died suddenly just a few years later.

9. Tell us about your FIRST roommate. I've never had a roommate.

10. If you had one wish, what would it be (other than more wishes)? Serenity.

11. What is something you would learn if you had the chance? To dance. You know, box step. I wanna be Ginger Rogers.

12. Did you marry the FIRST person you were in love with? Nope.

13. What were the first lessons you ever took and why? Ballet. Why? Because I was in second grade. My mother told me to get in the car, as so I went.

14. What is the first thing you do when you get home? Toss my keys into the basket by the front door so I don't lose them.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Fast Car

1. What’s the furthest trip you’ve taken by automobile? 800 miles = Chicago to Montreal. It was with my family when I was 9. I fought with my sister over the armrest in the backseat for the full 800 miles.

2. What’s the worst pick up line you've ever received? "You could pee on my shoes." Really. My first full day in New York.

3. What’s the best pick up line you’ve gotten? "Exactly what would it take to get you in bed?" We'd just met that night, we'd been flirting for quite some time and were sitting very close together on the sofa. His timing was perfect. He got much further with me than the gentleman in question #2.

4. What was the last gift that you received? Studio portrait of my niece and nephew.

5. What was the last gift that you gave someone? A small wood wish box for my oldest friend. By writing her wish on a slip of paper and keeping it in the box, she can help make it come true.

6. Tell us about the last time you cried. Watching Marley & Me. "Goodbye, Clearance Puppy."

7. Tell us about the last time you laughed uncontrollably. My friend John's birthday celebration. It was at the expense of TV commentator Nancy Grace, and it was in very bad taste.

8. Do you suffer road rage? What are your thoughts on it? I don't drive, so I'm exempt.

9. What’s one of your favorite movie quotes? "You still think you're the cutest little trick in shoe leather." Rhett to Scarlett.

"The Fall'll Probably Kill Ya!"

That was one of Paul Newman's most famous lines. You remember ... Butch and Sundance are trapped on a cliff, surrounded by certain death, an armed super posse above them and rushing rapids below. Butch tries to convince Sundance that the only way out is to jump. Sundance reluctantly, shamefully admits he can't swim, and Butch laughs and convinces him with that line.

This year marks the 40th anniversary of Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid, arguably the coolest movie about the coolest guys starring the two coolest actors. Newman and Redford get a lot of credit for the film's success, and they should. They're irresistable.

But the script is a gem, too. Written by William Goldman (above). One of my favorite authors of all time.

He's best known now as a screenwriter with two Oscars to his credit (All the President's Men and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid). He's also responsible for Chaplin starring Robert Downey, Maverick starring Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster, and Misery with Kathy Bates.

He's also done the screenplays based on his own novels: Marathon Man, Magic and The Princess Bride. Fun movies all, but the books are soooo much better. Especially, believe it or not, The Princess Bride. The book has a poignant subtext about family, yearning, and dreams that can break your heart. Next time you go to the library, give one of those a try.

And thanks to William Goldman for giving us these two enduring charmers.

Baby's First Friday Fill-In

1. A suspicious mammogram is not the end of the world.

2. Sitting here, listening to the sound of rain falling, I hope I closed all the windows before I left the house!

3. Cinnamon tastes so good!

4. Sometimes, putting others first is a very good feeling.

5. Lake Michigan is breathtaking, really.

6. Well, maybe there is a Santa Clause.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to chilling out, tomorrow my plans include going to movies and Sunday, I want to play with my nephew!

If you want to play around, or see how other bloggers responded, click here.

I love these commercials

I wish the puppy had a younger-sounding voice, but that's the marketer in me. As just a plain, old everyday viewer, I looooove seeing the Cottonelle puppy at the spa.

The Hot Line

I called my doctor's office this morning and spoke to the answering service. I asked them to please let him know that when he receives my test results, he should call my CELL number, which he previously didn't have. I'm so glad I happened to get this new phone. It has longer battery life than the old one, plus it's more fun, so I'll be sure to keep it on and with me.

Maybe microcalcifications?

Had my follow up mammogram and ultrasound this morning. Everyone at the hospital was very nice, and I should have the results by Monday. I'm going to start calling the doctor tomorrow, just to make sure he knows where we are in the process ... and how anxious I am about the results.

From the way the techs spoke this morning, I suspect there are two microcalcifications. I have been reading up on them all day, and have learned that they aren't usually, but can be, cancer. If this is the worst case scenario, I know the cancer has been caught early, which is comforting.

Next steps? I imagine my doctor will either tell me that the ultrasound/follow-up films show nothing serious, or he'll tell me we have to talk about a biopsy.

Thursday Thirteen #117 -- The BING Game

THIRTEEN THINGS THAT I WANT

You know the Google Game: you key in your first name and the word “needs,” hit "search" and amuse yourself with the wacky answers. This week I’m trying a slight variation. Instead of finding out what cyberspace feels I need, I’m looking instead for what I want, and instead of using the venerable Google for help, I’ve turned to the newer search engine on the block, Bing.

It was very revealing. For Bing says that I want …

1) to make the Little League event as fun and pleasurable as possible. I’m thoughtful…

2) to rule the radio dial. And ambitious.

3) Bob to pull his hard [deleted] from my [deleted]. And lusty, but careful. I’m not going to let Google slap a warning on this blog like they did on Bud’s.

4) to quit and give another contestant a chance. And dedicated to fair play.

5) a different kind of job. And imaginative.

6) to go skiing, but I’m committed to baby sitting. And responsible.

7) to join your mob in Mobsters, a mafia-style combat game played on My Space. And involved in social networking sites.

8) customers to know they count at GMI Equipment Co. And a good corporate citizen.

9) to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Tuesday night. And a fan of the supernatural, especially when it’s lighthearted.

10) to know what you’re going to do with the baton in your hands. Is this related to #3?

11) to take 10 months off from my teaching position to move to Washington, DC, and give my input to lawmakers. I’m either dedicated to the cause of education, or I'm a buttinski.

12) an iPhone! YES!!! Judging by the emphatic punctuation, I’m more excited about technology than I am about Bob’s hard [deleted].

13) to be more than just a housewife, but Steve won’t allow it. Won’t “allow” it? No wonder I turned to Bob!

To participate yourself, or to look up more TT participants,
visit the hub (thursday-13.com).

Yesterday I had a tummy ache

It began Monday night/Tuesday dawn and it was miserable! While the worst of it was gone by the time I got to work yesterday, it left me feel weak and achy and icky.

The healing powers of Sierra Mist, bland rice cakes, and plenty of sleep are amazing! Today I feel like a brand new gal.

The score doesn't reflect the game

Yes, the Cubs lost to the Phillies, 4-1. But it was a much closer, much more exciting game than the score reflects. Until the bottom of the 13th, it was tied at 1-1. Then Jason Werth sent one sailing into the stands.

So we lost. But it was a great game.

If we play like this throughout the second half, this just may be the year!

The Queen's Meme #2

Done by royal decree.

Mission Impossible Meme
In honor of the 40th anniversary of the Moon Landing

1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it? My iPod. That frigging shuttle is a small, enclosed place and while they may be considered great guys by their friends, these astronauts are complete strangers to this Gal. I NEED MY ALONE TIME! I'd explain that if I can't control my environment in these closed quarters by wearing my headphones, there's going to be trouble. Maybe not death, but certainly bruising and maybe even loss of blood.

2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class. They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you. What is the first thing you would write on the board? "Up Your Nose with a Rubber Hose." I know it's an inelegant non sequitur, but it always worked for Mr. Kotter in similar circumstances.

3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile? How would you handle it? Hmmm ... (she said, contemplatively twirling her hair). I'd read it for a while. Am I learning hard and harsh truths about myself, or am I being slagged just for the hell of it? I have to answer that before I can respond.

4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on? A can of Classic Coke. Because I always want one.

5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve? Note that this question asks what I "serve," not what I "prepare." Therefore I'm being given a loophole to wriggle out of, and I'm wrigglin'. I'd pick up something from Five Guys because not only is it around the corner, it's something I know the Prez likes.

6. You walk in on your lover. He is trying on your clothes. What do you do? Pray that he's stretching them out of shape. It would break my heart if they fit him less snugly than they do me.

7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences. #2. That would give me the time and stamina to work toward the others.

Remembering Blair Holt

A little more than 2 years ago, Chicago lost a 16-year-old boy. It's a tragic scar on this great city that we lose too many young people to violence every week. There was something especially wonderful, promising and special about Blair Holt and his family that made his life and death touch a chord in many of us.

Blair Holt was an honor student, the son of a Chicago cop (dad) and a firefighter (mom). He was on his way home from school on a CTA bus when gangbangers boarded and started firing. He pushed his classmate out of the way and was killed instead. Yesterday, at his killer's sentencing, surveillance tapes of his heroism were shown publicly for the first time.

There is much that could be and is being said about Blair Holt's admitted, convicted and now sentenced murderer. I leave that for others. This post is about the boy who sadly never got to become a man.

• Blair was a well-liked student who made good grades and had no gang affiliations whatsoever

• He planned to go on to college and pursue a career in music management

• He loved steaks cooked on the grill

• He enjoyed renting movies

• He shared a love of the White Sox with his father

• His mother referred to him as her "best friend" and "running buddy"

• The father of the girl whose life he saved refers to Blair Holt as a "hero"

• Judge Nicholas Ford agreed from the bench yesterday.

There is a bill before Congress now, HR45, called The Blair Holt Firearm and Record of Sale Act. In summary, this law would:

• Prohibit possession of any handguns or any semiautomatic firearms that can accept detachable ammunition-feeding devices (excluding antiques) by anyone who has not been issued a firearm license.

• Require all sales of those types of firearms to go through licensed dealers.

• Direct the Attorney General to establish and run a federal record-of-sale system.

• Require the possessors of firearms to secure them (by secure gun storage or safety devices) when they are kept in locales where children might be capable of gaining access to those firearms.


I encourage you to read more about HR45, and consider contacting your Congressman to support it. Just as Blair Holt saved one of his classmates, perhaps we can honor his memory by saving another kid.

Monday Movie Meme

This week's movie topic is all about Walking Out...

Meaning movies I either walked out of, or wished I had. I've listed them by how violently the mere mention of the title makes me shudder.

The Piano. Harvey Keitel naked. Naked with tattoos on his face that look like they were drawn with a Bic Ballpoint. Holly Hunter mute for no rational reason, heaping so much responsibility on her daughter that the poor little girl was in nearly every scene (but she did get an Oscar for her pains).

The Legend of Bagger Vance. Who knew a movie with Will Smith and Matt Damon could be a snooze? I didn't hate this movie. I was just desperately disappointed and so, sooooo bored.

The Matrix. Too convoluted to follow, too noisy to sleep through.

If you'd like to join the Bumbles and play along, click here.

Dreaming of Don

Last night, my oldest friend and I celebrated Mad Men's gazillion Emmy nominations by watching several episodes from the Season 2 DVD. We ate thin crust pizza, chugged Coke, and laughed a lot.

I could rhapsodize about how good this show is, because it is. The writing ... the attention to period detail ... how well it reveals some timeless truths about advertising, and therefore American culture. I could talk about how eerily incidents on the show reflect things that have happened in my own career. (Some day I must share the story about how my "big break" was a result of my boss' being out of the office on family leave, and how conflicted I felt about benefiting from his absence.)

All that would be true.

But most of our enjoyment came from drooling over Don Draper. I've known my friend since the first grade, and over all those years we have sighed and swooned together over an amazing collection of men: from the Beatles to the Monkees to the Men from UNCLE to ball players (both foot and base) to Johnny Depp and Jon Hamm (aka Don Draper). Today life hasn't afforded either of us the smoothest ride. Giggling with a good friend over a great looking guy ... Trust me, it's a time-tested escape.

They're Back!

The Cubs are playing the Nationals in Washington. Hello, Boys! Welcome back to the diamond and let's kick some second half ass. (Yes, their first game back from the All-Star break was last night, but I wasn't home last night -- doctor's appt. -- and I missed it.)

I accept that into each life a little rain must fall. But does it have to fall on me during the All-Star break? Anything is easier to face if I can escape it for 9 innings, curled up on the couch, watching my Cubs.

He is a puzzlement

My uncle, that is. I love him very much, but he's a difficult old coot. He's also battling Parkinson's. While the disease has taken a terrible toll on his body and spirit, it's not to blame for his "difficult old coot" status. I remember fondly when he was a difficult young coot.

He's always been moody -- great fun one moment, sharp tongued the next. He can also be a terrible snob, owing to the fact that he's a self-made millionaire. He doesn't mean to be a snob. It's just that he's justifiably proud of his accomplishments and unfortunately defines himself by his bank book.

He's also the one who bought me my first Beatle record (Love Me Do/PS I Love You) and hid my Easter gift under the floormat of his 1964 Mustang and, upon returning from Viet Nam, allowed me to present him to my third grade class for "show and tell." When I was a little girl, he held me upside down and tickled me. When I was a young woman, he helped me establish my credit rating by taking me out to get a stereo and explaining how the payment plan worked -- and the impact screwing it up could have on me for decades to come. There's no amount of "difficult" that he can send my way now that can possibly wash away what he's meant to me in the past.

So I put more thought into his holiday gifts than I do for anyone else's. He's very hard to buy for because (1) he can buy anything he wants himself and (2) the Parkinson's Disease has made it hard for him to enjoy many of the pleasures we take for granted, like reading or watching movies.

I am happy to report that I have happened on the perfect gift for him. In his name I am going to donate money and wish-list items to Operation Shoebox. This group puts shoeboxes together and sends them to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. They accept donations of everything from Twizzlers and puzzle books to foot powder and socks and pass them along to those who fight in our behalf. (It is no secret to those who read this blog that I have never been a big supporter of the war in Iraq, but that does not diminish my support for those who enlisted and go wherever the Commander in Chief sends them.)

I know this seems very early, but I know it takes weeks for mail to reach soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq. When you consider the time it will take for Operation Shoebox to put the gift packages together, I'm really not that early. (OK, I am. But this will be fun.) I'm happy to both do something helpful and patriotic, and accomplish something in my uncle's name that he couldn't do for himself anymore. If this can encourage a correspondence between him and a soldier, all the better!



This photo is a Life Magazine shot of a soldier during WWII, opening a present from home. It bothers me that only one of the three has a gift. So my uncle and I are going to do our small part to make sure more soldiers have something from home Christmas 09.

Thursday Thirteen #116 -- The "thank you very much" edition

THIRTEEN FACTS ABOUT ELVIS' 1968 COMEBACK SPECIAL

I am the least spontaneous person on the face of the earth. I always must have a plan. I have been in therapy long enough to know that having a plan is simply my way of maintaining the illusion of control and order in a chaotic world. Whatever. It's how I roll.

So when I found out about IT (an abnormality on my annual mammogram) I started to fixate, obsess, and awfulize. My oldest friend, who knows me well, knew I was tormenting myself with worry and offered to have my follow-up mammogram scheduled lightening fast at the hospital where she works (less than 24 hours). There were calls back and forth to my doctor and the hospital that did the original mammogram and it turned out it wasn't going to be as easy as I originally thought. I'd have to somehow get the films of my 7/3 mammogram from "my" hospital and get them to "her" hospital. Not a big deal, but I wasn't sure how this was going to happen. And I didn't want to think about IT anymore. I wanted a plan. I wanted to impose order on a situation that's really out of my control.

So I made an appointment at "my hospital" to have the follow-up done. Next week. I know it may not make sense that waiting a week actually chilled me out a bit, but there you go. I'm a Gal Who Loves a Plan, and now I have one.

Wondering how we get from a mammogram to Elvis?

On the way home from work last night, I put my iPod on Shuffle and just happened to hear "Lawdy Miss Clawdy" from Elvis' 1968 Comeback Special.

It made me smile. For the first time since I started freaking out about IT last Saturday, I was truly enjoying something. The King managed to take my mind off IT, the All-Star break (God, I miss my Cubs), my mother's health and her financial woes ...

Elvis rode the train home with me yesterday, and I'm listening to him again today. In the soundtrack to the Comeback Special, he's in fine voice and it's a great distillation of everything that made him so cool, that made him The King of Rock and Roll.

1) The special originally aired on December 3, 1968. I had just turned 11 and still thought Elvis was hideously passe. It's just as well I didn't watch it then -- it would have been like putting pearls before swine.

2) It was called Elvis and the soundtrack was titled NBC-TV Special. It's become known as the 1968 Comeback Special by the public because it re-energized Elvis' career.

3) The show had a single sponsor, Singer Sewing Machines. They expected to fund a conventional Christmas special. While Elvis does sing "Blue Christmas," this special is far from typical holiday fare.

4) The show has some big production numbers. They're very stylized and tell the story of a "Guitar Man" who makes his way to Hollywood. My favorite section is when Elvis performs his gospel set ("Where Could I Go But to the Lord?" and "Saved" are real, vibrant, and sexy.)

5) The censors cut one production number. Elvis performed a song called "Let Yourself Go" in a bordello, but it didn't air. (I told you this wasn't a conventional Christmas special.)

6) There was a fantastic concert segment, too. Elvis hadn't performed live in years, preoccupied as he was making crap movies in Hollywood, so this was daring for him personally.

7) It was just Elvis and 5 musicians he knew very well. Just guitars, drums and a tambourine. This stripped-down approach was innovative for the time, and is considered the forerunner for MTV's Unplugged.

8) Elvis and the boys just jammed before a studio audience. What viewers at home saw on that December night was edited from four one-hour live shows performed in the round one night in the previous June.

9) The telecast closed with Elvis performing "If I Can Dream." There he is, about to sing it, wearing a white suit and standing before his name in big red letters. Remember, this was 1968, the year of assassination and protest. Elvis shows he's still relevant, he knows what's been going on outside Graceland, in the streets of America. If I can dream of better land where all my brothers walk hand in hand, tell me why, oh why, can't my dream come true.

10) Col. Tom Parker wasn't thrilled. Upon seeing the finished special, his first comment was, "Where's my Christmas music?"

11) In those long-ago days of just three networks, the show got a very high rating. An estimated 42% of the TVs that were on that night were tuned to Elvis.

12) Elvis was paid $250,000 for the special. Adjusted for inflation, that would be over $1,000,000 today.

13) More important, it achieved Elvis' goal -- to show that he still "had it." He could still command an audience. Dopey Hollywood movies hadn't blunted his ability to rock. From here he went on to play Vegas, tour all over the country, and make terrific records like "Suspicious Minds" and "Burning Love."

Best of all, hearing it snapped me out of my funk. And so I say to Elvis what he said to audiences time and time again: "Thank you. Thank you very much."

To participate yourself, or to look up more TT participants,
visit the new hub (thursday-13.com).

The Queen's Meme

Done by royal decree.

1. You are in court. You are in deep doo-doo. What did you do? Looting and rioting after the Cubs win the World Series. If Laker fans can do it after their team won their 15th championship, Cubs fans sure as shit should. We've been waiting a CENTURY! I'm going for a new car.

2. Your blog just became a best-selling book . What is the title of your book? The Thing of It Is ...

3. It is midnight. The phone rings. It is Michael Jackson calling from the Great Beyond. What would you like to ask him? Why didn't you give Sir Paul his songs back?

4. You are having your future told. The fortune teller looks in the crystal ball, screams and leaves the room in fright. What did they see? Me as Crazy Old Cat Lady, wearing a red hat and sipping a Cosmo while surrounded by dozens of felines.

5. You're blogging along minding your own blusiness (that's blog + oh...you know) when Google unexpectedly puts a Objectionable Content Warning on your blog. Your own mother is afraid to enter! What, pray tell, did you do to warrant it? How did this happen? Do you think you deserve it? Just how objectionable are you? Do tell. There's nothing wrong with my blog! Damn that vast Right Wing Conspiracy! They got to Google, too!

6. You suddenly become God Of The Universe. What would your first Commandment be? Quality of life for all.

7. And finally, what secret would you like to tell the Queen? I often listen to David Cassidy & the Partridge Family: The Definitive Collection. Hey! It's digitally remixed so I can fully appreciate the artistry of Danny Bonaduce's bass playing and the majesty or Susan Dey on piano.

How I spent my evening

I have devoted more than 2.5 hours to mastering my new phone (the LG Rumor). I have charged it and activated it and programmed my numbers into it. I am promised Internet service with this phone, too, but I just can't deal with this right now. I'm not especially tech savvy and this LG User Guide is literally more than 220 pages long!

5 mm

That's the size of the lump in my left breast. Because it's so deep in the tissue and irregularly shaped, the radiologist wants to take another look at it. My doctor says 5 mm is very small and he warned me not to "freak out," that it's most likely benign. I'm stopping at his office tomorrow to pick up my prescription for a diagnostic mammogram.

I've mentioned all of this to my best friend, who tells me not to worry -- that his wife has had to have follow-up mammograms twice and that they both turned out to be nothing. (He also says he fully expects me to worry anyway.)

I told my oldest friend all of this, too. She's going to try to get me in this week at the hospital where she works so I won't have this hanging over my head for weeks and weeks (first for the follow up appointment, then for the results).

I'm still scared. And there's NO CUBS BASEBALL tonight!

For the future chef

Beginning next week, my 16-year-old niece will be embarking on quite the summer adventure. First she is going to "culinary camp" at Kendall College here in the city. In addition to learning from the pros, she will take advantage of much that Chicago has to offer, including theater and fine dining and an architecture tour up and down the River. This is the part I'm most excited about, since my sister and brother-in-law seldom venture down here, and what's the point of living 20 minutes away from a world-class city if you don't ever visit it? For my niece, it's an opportunity to get an idea of what life may be like for her if she attends Kendall -- and a chance to spend a week with Lisa, one of her best friends.

The following week, my niece will take off for Wisconsin, to a small town outside Fon du Lac. There's a resort up there that my family has been going to every year since I was a kid. Because our two families go back so far, the owners of the resort have agreed to let my niece work there for about a month. She'll be helping the chef in the kitchen, waiting tables, filling in at the beach stand and, when needed, cleaning cabins. She's eager to do this because it will give her a glimpse of what day-to-day life will be like in her proposed career. Plus she'll earn a salary and tips that she can sock away into her college fund.

I'm excited for her, and a little sad. I was never this driven, nor did I have a career selected, when I was her age, so I think this is great. But I'm nostalgic because she's no longer the little girl who spent her summer on her bike and lived for the Harry Potter movie premieres. I miss that little girl.

But, to celebrate the future chef she's become, I got her this tote bag. I had a store credit from Zappos so it didn't really cost me anything. And if my niece is going to be living out of bags for the next month or so, one of them should be new and hers exclusively.

Yes, I'm just staring at the phone

It's almost 11:00 and my doctor still hasn't called me back to discuss IT.

Of course, it is Monday. He has two days of messages to return. I'm sure he has to confer with the radiologist, and who knows what his schedule is. I realize it's not very reasonable to expect a call within the first 2 hours of his day.

But I want one!

And damn, wouldn't you know my main client contact (the one who reviews my work and requests next steps) is taking a long weekend and won't be back until Wednesday. This means I won't be swamped with glorious work to take my mind off of IT. Because of the All-Star break, there's no Cub game, either.

I'm looking at a postcard given to me by my friend in Key West: "I WILL NOT OBSESS. I WILL NOT OBSESS. I WILL NOT OBSESS." Let's see if I can live by that.

Looooooooou! Looooooooou!

I love Lou Piniella. Not since Leo Durocher managed the Cubs when I was a kid has a manager so captivated me. (Though Leo scared me, and I think "Sweet Lou" is completely adorable.)

The Cubs are down by two runs in the 9th, the bases are loaded and there are no outs ... and yet Lou hasn't given up and won't give in. He pulled the damnedest move tonight -- bringing Sean Marshall (a left-handed relief pitcher) in to pitch to one Cardinal, then using Marshall to replace Soriano in the outfield so he can bring in another reliever but still put Marshall back on the mound as need be. Never seen anything like it.

But then, that's Lou.

His wacky maneuver got the Cubs out of the top of 9th inning without giving up any more runs. He's also re-energized the Wrigley Field faithful and screwed with the Cardinals' heads. He's spent his life in the MLB, and it shows.

The ONE Meme

Respond to these questions with ONE WORD answers:

Where is your cell phone? Purse

Your significant other? MIA

Your hair? Short

Your mother? Trenna

Your father? Bill

Your favorite thing? Critters

Your dream last night? Storm

Your favorite drink? Coke

Your dream/goal? Happy

What room are you in? Livingroom

Your hobby? Cubs

Your fear? Health

Where do you want to be in 6 years ? Here

Where were you last night? Here

Something that you aren't? Thin

Muffins? Corn

Wish list item? Pennant

Last thing you did? Workout

What are you wearing? Shorts

TV? Sylvania

Friends? Wonderful Your life? Independent

Your mood? Hopeful

Missing someone? Yes

Drinking? Coke

Smoking? Never

Your car? Metra

Something you're not wearing? Socks

Your favorite store? Carson's

Your favorite color? Blue

When is the last time you cried? Marley

Where do you go to over and over? Office

My favorite place to eat? Ada's

Favorite place I'd like to be at right now? Spa

If you play along, let me know so I can compare our answers.

Thank you, Ladies!

I got 7 of the loveliest, most positive comments from sister bloggers yesterday. I appreciate their kindess so much! It's wonderful to feel that there's a pink wall of support for me in the blogosphere.

Between 1% and 6%

I was so happy this morning. I dropped a bag of pasta, condiments, soups and some toiletries off at the food pantry. Usually seeing so many people there would give me the blues, but today the long line made me feel like I was really making a difference in my community. (I've heard donations are down.) Then I read and had a decent little coffee shop breakfast, followed by a trip to the bank and an eye exam. (Yes, my eyes are worse, but the prescription is different enough that I was able to get funky new glasses.) Then I got home and IT was in my maibox.

After reviewing the mammogram you had on 7/3/09, our radiologist requested that you return for additional studies for a complete evaluation. Most such findings are benign (not cancerous). A report for your mammography results were sent to your physician, whom you should call to discuss this matter further ....

I'm scared.

My doctor won't be in until Monday, so there really isn't anything I can do about this. I looked up follow-up mammography and found that the odds are overwhelmingly in my favor -- between 1% and 6% of findings turn out to be malignant (depending on which study you're looking at). That means between 94% and 99% turn out to be benign.

But I'm still scared.

I'm trying not to obsess.

She's enchanting

Abigail Breslin as Olive Hoover. Little Miss Sunshine is on the USA Network this morning and I'm enjoying it (again) thoroughly.

I've seen her in other movies since Little Miss Sunshine and she's always very good. But there's something so perfect about her as Olive and the way she responds to all the absurdity around her. She's so sweet and confused as she tries to figure out who she is and what her place is in the world -- and in this family.

At The Movies

I have seen two movies in the past week and enjoyed them both.

THE PROPOSAL. It's fluff. It aims low but it hits its mark. It's fun to watch the Sandra Bullock character evolve, and Ryan Reynolds is a cutie. The supporting cast is full of highly capable pros (including Betty White). There isn't a single plot twist we don't see coming from a million miles away, but that's OK. Anticipating the romance is half the fun.

PUBLIC ENEMIES. I enjoyed it enormously. Johnny Depp inhabits the character of Dillinger, and he looks very, very good as he does it. It's less successful than The Proposal because it tries to do soooo much more. It's about Dillinger's relationship with his beautiful "black bird," Billie. It's about Dillinger going mano a mano against Melvin Purvis. It's about Purvis making peace with his role in J. Edgar Hoover's FBI. It's about Dillinger finding his place in a criminal world run more and more by organized crime ... Unfortunately, none of those stories is very well fleshed out. So while I appreciated how well made it is, and was intrigued by the stories, I wish it had tried to do less and achieved its goals (like The Proposal does).

The Knives Are Out

The Cubs lost to the Cardinals. That's always bad news. First of all, because all right-thinking Northsiders hate losing to our rivals from the other side of the state line. Secondly because, since the Cards are in our division, it's as though these games count double.

As fans, we're frustrated. This is, on paper, a very solid team. Yet on the field, they just can't seem to get together, to play cohesively, and WIN consistently. The pitching is solid but the hitting is spotty, then the bats come alive but the fielding sucks, then the defense is tight but the base running is stupid ...

The scapegoat for everything that's gone wrong seems to be Alfonso Soriano. His bat is lukewarm and he's only seems able to hit when the bases are empty. He's been losing balls in the outfield. All this is true. But it's true of just about everybody except Theriot and Lee.

But it's Soriano that seems especially annoying to the fans. The papers and sports radio shows reflect this. I feel bad for Fonzie. I believe he's trying ... perhaps even too hard, maybe that's why he's choking.

Here's hoping he can turn it around. There's still (a little more than) half a season left. Anything can happen ... including vindication for Soriano.

Now, from the brighter side of life ...

I am good at this job.

My opposite number, the other ACD here, presented our concepts to the client yesterday. Two were his and two were mine. He came in this morning to tell me that the only comments our clients made were regarding my two concepts: how great the first one was, and how they liked the second one but it was too copy heavy. (Me? Blabby? Can you imagine such a thing?) The client was polite, of course, but they didn't even consider his.

He then told me that he's 0-09. I hadn't thought about it that way till he mentioned it, but every time the client has had a choice this year, they have always chosen my concepts.

It was classy of him to point it out. And his timing was perfect. Because it makes me happy to honestly say, "I am good at this job."

There are more creative writers out there -- I admit that readily. But I am faster than most and, even better, I more attuned to the marketing goal of my work than many other writers.

So yes, I am good at this job.

Hi. I'm an idiot.

It's the end of my workday. No one MADE me do this. It's the kind of thing only a real dunce would do:

I googled an old boyfriend. Found a photo of him ... and his wife ... celebrating their 8th wedding anniversary. The photo was taken by their 4-year-old son.

I never really loved him. When I think back on our relationship (and, to be honest, I don't do it often), I'm not even sure we liked each other. I suspect we were just highly compatible sexually, he was lonely, and I was ruled by Baby Lust.

So why did I look him up? Bored, I guess. Why did this send me into an emotional tailspin? Because at times I wish I'd had a more conventional life. Not with him, necessarily, but with someone I really loved, someone I could nurture and protect, just as he would nurture and protect me, in an uncaring world. (That's the way Time magazine recently described marriage and I thought it was lovely.)

But, as Elizabeth Edwards discusses in her wonderful book Resilience, we have to be in the present and live the life we have NOW. That perfect life we remember probably wasn't that perfect and besides, it's gone … and it's stupid to waste today by longing for yesterday or "what might have been."

So I will take off my dunce cap, dust myself off, and head for home and try to appreciate the blessings in the life I have.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #115 -- Why Believe in Yesterday?

THIRTEEN SINGERS WHO COVERED
THE MOST RECORDED SONG OF ALL TIME

Almost every time you hear about Michael Jackson's estate, someone mentions that he owned The Beatles Catalog, and that it's worth mucho dinero. That the rites to the Lads' music are highly profitable isn't surprising. After all, Beatles albums have been selling consistently for 45 years now. Cirque du Soleil's LOVE and recent the Across the Universe film generated new interest in the Beatles … and new income, as well. Every time you're on hold and you hear "Michelle," whenever a high school band plays "With a Little Help from my Friends," somewhere a cash register rings.

And most of all, there's "Yesterday." According to The Guiness Book of World Records, this Paul McCartney composition has been recorded and re-recorded more times and by more artists than any other pop song in modern history. The most up to date tally I could find is 1,600.

To give you an idea of the song's popularity across every demographic, here are 13 of the artists who have recorded "Yesterday."

Chet Atkins
Boyz II Men
James Brown
Ray Charles
Perry Como
Placido Domingo
Marvin Gaye
Tom Jones
Gladys Knight and the Pips
Elvis Presley
Smokey Robinson
Diana Ross & the Supremes
Frank Sinatra

To participate yourself, or to look up more TT participants,
visit the new hub (thursday-13.com).