The Queen's Meme #2

Done by royal decree.

Mission Impossible Meme
In honor of the 40th anniversary of the Moon Landing

1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it? My iPod. That frigging shuttle is a small, enclosed place and while they may be considered great guys by their friends, these astronauts are complete strangers to this Gal. I NEED MY ALONE TIME! I'd explain that if I can't control my environment in these closed quarters by wearing my headphones, there's going to be trouble. Maybe not death, but certainly bruising and maybe even loss of blood.

2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class. They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you. What is the first thing you would write on the board? "Up Your Nose with a Rubber Hose." I know it's an inelegant non sequitur, but it always worked for Mr. Kotter in similar circumstances.

3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile? How would you handle it? Hmmm ... (she said, contemplatively twirling her hair). I'd read it for a while. Am I learning hard and harsh truths about myself, or am I being slagged just for the hell of it? I have to answer that before I can respond.

4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on? A can of Classic Coke. Because I always want one.

5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve? Note that this question asks what I "serve," not what I "prepare." Therefore I'm being given a loophole to wriggle out of, and I'm wrigglin'. I'd pick up something from Five Guys because not only is it around the corner, it's something I know the Prez likes.

6. You walk in on your lover. He is trying on your clothes. What do you do? Pray that he's stretching them out of shape. It would break my heart if they fit him less snugly than they do me.

7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences. #2. That would give me the time and stamina to work toward the others.