Still an ass

I'm back to monitoring Archie Bunker, the "gentleman" my oldest friend met through an online dating service, because he appeared on her FB timeline earlier this month. I hope she's no longer twitterpated by this jerk, because he has cancelled on her and flaunted his interest in other women online, knowing she can see it. But since his treatment of her has been so humiliating, I can't bring myself to ask her about it for fear it embarrasses her.

Anyway ... he posted on his blog last night. About the Colorado shooting. And about how bad "Volvo, PT Cruiser, BMW, Mercedes and VW drivers" are. Same post, same amount of space. Because in his world, someone trying to squeeze into his lane is just as bad as innocent lives lost in a movie theater massacre.

Please, God, let her be over him!

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: I Saw the Light

1. Has something ever made you "see the light?" The two books by Elizabeth Edwards have had a great impact on me. It was in her second, Resilience, that I really paid attention to these lyrics by Leonard Cohen. They express a sentiment that's important to remember: "Ring the bells that still can ring/forget your perfect offering/there's a crack in everything/ that's how the light gets in."

2. Do you believe you have any control over your luck? Emotionally, yes I believe it, even though intellectually I know I don't.

3. What is something you have had difficulty rising above? First as a young girl and then as a woman I was physically damaged by men I should have been able to trust. Dealing with the aftermath is ongoing, but I continue working on it.

4. Would you want to be rich? Yes! Yes, yes, yes. Which reminds me I must buy that lottery ticket today.

5. Tell us about a current or old song that helps you "face the world." "Payphone." I always like Adam Levine's voice, and every time I hear it I try to remember the last time I saw a payphone. I don't know what that rap segment adds though, except maybe wider demographic appeal. (Cha-ching)

6. Has any dream of yours come true? Hell to the yes. I saw Sir Paul within the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field. And I Love Him.

7. What would you change if you became "the king or queen" of your country? I'd make sure that everyone gets it -- Your Second Amendment Right was never intended to allow you to buy six fucking guns within two months! God, what's wrong with people?

8. How do you feel about LGBT rights? (If you need to look up LGBT, then you probably need to learn more.)  I find it depressing that some people are more interested in protecting their "right" to legally stockpile assault weapons while denying others the right to love.

9. Have you ever been disappointed in yourself? Regularly!

He seems sad these days

My best friend is laboring under a dark cloud. I suspect it's work related, but I don't know for sure because when he tried to talk to me yesterday, I was under the watchful gaze of three (count 'em, THREE) office mates and by the time I could call him back, he was in a two-hour long conference call. Today he was too overwhelmed by work and the news out of Denver to talk.

While I am very grateful that no one he knows personally was touched by the tragedy, I understand how a local event can get under your skin. I am still haunted by the tragedy of Yummy Sandifer, the murderous 9-year-old gangbanger who was assassinated himself back in 1994. And I haven't forgotten Nailah Franklin, the much loved Chicago woman who was abducted and murdered in 2007 (and whose accused killer is still awaiting trial).

I also learned from exchanging emails with him that. for many in Colorado, Columbine is still a sensitive wound and this just tore it open again.

My best friend is a good man who is very involved with his daughters, very worried about his dad and his siblings -- especially one of his sisters, because he fears her drinking is interfering with her role as mother. So in a way I hope it's "just" work and the Dark Knight shooting that are bothering him. Because the massacre, while heart breaking, is outside of his sphere of influence, and work problems come and go.

I love my friend and I hope the sunshine finds him soon.

7 Deadly Sins of Reading

A book meme stolen from Kwizgiver

GREED: What is your most expensive book? Most inexpensive book? I bought my most expensive book about 10 years ago when, strangely enough, I was self employed and could least afford it. The Phantom Prince: My Life with Ted Bundy has been out of print forever and I found it on eBay for about $100. Believe it or not, that a good price, as the cheapest available on B&N is $165. It's the memoir of the woman who was actually engaged to/sleeping with Bundy when he was actively pursuing his avocation -- which was raping and murdering dozens of woman and hiding their bodies. She had a little girl living with her, too. (Shudder.) When she began to suspect him, she notified the police and then felt guilty because she was accusing the man she loved of true evil. It was a short, fascinating, painful read. The author ("Elizabeth Kendall" is a pseudonym) was an insecure single mother in the early 1970s and Bundy deftly exploited her weaknesses. She must be about 70 now. Wherever she is, I hope she's healthy and happy and has forgiven herself for loving this horrible man. If I had more time, I'd reread it. One of the least expensive is the one I'm reading now: Sisters in Crime is a mystery anthology I got for 25¢ at a library book sale.

WRATH: What author do you have a love/hate relationship with? Robert B. Parker. I love Spenser and the other characters he developed through that series. Then I hated some of the dialog he put in their mouths. He did such a fantastic job at creating an alternative universe that I got mad at him for not serving it better. Which is silly -- Spenser, Susan and Hawk were his, not mine. I truly mourned his passing because I admire his no-nonsense dedication to his craft, to his creations and to his readers. How I wish he was still here to annoy me! The Parker estate has hired another author, Ace Atkins, to continue the Spenser series and he did a good job. I thought of it as an homage.

GLUTTONY: What book have you deliciously devoured over and over with no shame whatsoever? The Princess Bride. If you have only seen the movie and not read the book, do yourself a favor and pick it up. There's sooooo much more in the book -- more context, laughs, wisdom and insight.

SLOTH: What book have you neglected reading due to laziness? 11/22/63. It's soooo freaking long, and heavy (!), and my TBR pile is so daunting. I read the ending after seeing King on Morning Joe because of the historical implications of the story. I'll read the rest someday. I will! I will!

PRIDE: What books do you most talk about in order to sound like a very intellectual reader? Nigel Hamilton's biographies of Kennedy and Clinton. Hamilton is a Brit by birth and his outsider's take on the US adds dimension and texture to stories I thought I already knew. JFK: Reckless Youth is simply one of the best books I have ever read. I believe it's out of print now, after being made into a rather glossy, soapy mini-series (which is how so many Kennedy books end up!). But if you can find it, pick it up. The story itself is compelling -- taking the future President from birth to Congress, a span of about 30 years. And the spin is masterful -- how a man who looked to have the world beat with his looks, wealth and charm was really struggling with physical and emotional pain every step of the way. Remember, no matter how good someone's life looks on the outside, you have no idea how it feels to live it. Hamilton's first Clinton book, An American Journey, is very good, too. Very insightful. Interestingly, neither Bill Clinton nor (most emphatically) the Kennedy family appreciates Hamilton's work, so it's biography not hagiography.

LUST: What attributes do you find most attractive in male or female characters? I always ask myself, "Is this someone I want to spend time with?" Not like, or am attracted to. But want to invest in. Because again, my TBR is so deep. So many books! So little time!

ENVY: What books would you most like to receive as a gift? gift cards so I can get whatever I want! (Kwiz' answer, but it's good!)

Thursday Thirteen #180

THIRTEEN THINGS IN MY PURSE

 

 

In Love, Loss and What I Wore, the wonderful Nora Ephron wrote that a handbag is a reflection of the woman who carries it. I wonder what she would have made of me.

1) Wallet. It's a big wallet with a weary zipper and merits its own TT someday.

2) Franklin Planner. I keep track of my life old school. No smartphone yet. It has a nice print fabric cover and lots of pockets filled with photos and receipts and … stuff.

3) Cell. A SANYO SCP-2700. It's not high tech, but it is kinda cute and works well enough for calls, texts and email.

4) Kindle Fire. I can't get over the fact that I now regularly carry a dozen magazines in my purse. Ah, technology! Where WI-FI is available, it's great for email.

5) My make up bag. Just the essentials to keep me from frightening small children.

6) Hairbrush.

7) Another hairbrush. That's not intentional. I just now noticed I have two in there. 

8) SPF 50. I burn easily.

9) Glasses. I'm very near-sighted and am terrified of losing a contact lens and then being left unable to see.

10) My reading glasses. OK, so I'm an old gal. 

11) Contact lens carry case and solution.

12) Prescription strength Naproxen. In case a migraine strikes.

13) Pepto Bismol caplets. Let's not discuss it.

BTW, I always carry my housekeys in my pocket, just in case something happens to my purse.

What about you? What are you forever hauling around?

For more information about the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

I need a nap!

We moved offices overnight and today it took me literally three hours to unpack and slip into the corner of the former conference room I'm now sharing with three other creatives. I believe I'm going to hate this set up, but there's nothing I can do about it. At least not now. But I'm sooooo freaking tired!

The Queen's Meme

The Employment Enjoyment Meme

1. What kind of work do you do? I'm an advertising writer.

2. During the course of your lifetime, which job or career has been your favorite or most fulfilling? This is really all I've ever done. I was an administrative assistant for 4 years, but that was a long, long time ago.

3. Do you think it's necessary in your life to have a day-to-day "career" that is meaningful and service-oriented or do you function better in "just a job" with a steady paycheck? It's very important to me that I feel connected emotionally to what I'm doing.

4. Was there ever a time in your life when you wanted to stay home with your children instead of working, even if it meant less money in the household? Nope.

5. Tell us your worst boss story. I once had a boss who was a complete nut job. She actually told me that the reason why we clashed so much is that we were adversaries in a past life, and that if we didn't work it through now, we would keep meeting for all eternity.

6. Have your ever been the boss? Do you like this this role?Yes. I hated it. And I learned that lay-offs suck, no matter which side of the desk you're sitting at.

7.  What is your dream occupation? I think I'd be a good pet sitter. I have a way with critters.

www.wednesday

To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions…

• What are you currently reading? Sisters in Crime edited by Marilyn Wallace. A collection of short mysteries by "today's women writers." I should mention that "today" is a relative term, since this paperback came out in 1989. Still, I see Sue Grafton, Sara Paretsky and Linda Barnes, so I have high hopes. Plus, I picked it up for 25¢ at a library book sale in another town. I happened to wander by en route to getting my hair cut. I love finding treasures like this. It originally belonged to Mary Ellen Gast, who wrote her name on the title page in blue felt tip.

 
• What did you recently finish reading? The Meryl Streep Movie Club by Mia March. “A novel of love, family and movie night.” I thought this was a missed opportunity. The author created four very original, very individual women characters (no mean feat!) and gave each a compelling backstory (even better!) and then put them in incredibly predictable situations where really handsome men with crinkling, twinkling eyes and cute buns just happen to fall into their lives. There was only one plot twist that I didn't see coming. I don't expect chick-lit to be as intricately plotted as a mystery. But in this book, as soon as a male character was introduced I knew how the plot would be resolved. Disappointing, considering how much I liked the women characters.

• What will you read next? Anne Frank's Family by Mirjam Pressler. It's been 70 years since Anne breathed free. I think she deserves to be remembered, and this scholarly book fits the bill.

Why I prefer snow

If the mercury didn't rise to 100º, it came close. And consequently today I rode the el with an unattractive phenomenon -- non-hygienic urban youths looking to sell OTC decongestant to get high. Yes, three really smelly kids had at least 30 boxes of Mucinex DM between them and not a one of them seemed to have a cold. Though a little nasal congestion would have helped me because they were really, really sweaty and stinky.

You don't see, or smell, this kinda thing on public transportation in December.

Our Summer Outing

My nephew and I spent a day and a half in Springfield, getting to know Mr. Lincoln, Illinois' most famous citizen. (Sorry, Oprah!)

Friday we went to Lincoln's tomb. Like decades of visitors before us, we rubbed Abe's nose for luck. Inside we paid our respect to the great man and felt bad for the sad, long-suffering Mary. The tour guide gave us an overview of how Lincoln's body was nearly kidnapped.

Saturday morning, after a buffet breakfast that included a lot of bacon (my nephew loves bacon) we went on to Mary and Abraham's home. When they left for DC, they sold their furniture but kept the house because they completely meant to retire here. Neither of them ever set foot in here again. Mary could not confront the happy memories and all the loss (after all, by then she had not only lost her husband but two of the sons who had been born here).

Then we toured The Old State Capital. Lincoln gave his famous "house divided" speech here. It's also the site where Barack Obama announced his historic run for the Presidency. My nephew seemed to think this one was a yawn, but I'm confident that when he's older he'll be glad we made this stop. I learned where the phrase "red tape" came from. Back in the 1800s, deeds and birth/wedding/death certificates, etc., were delivered to the state capitals in bunches wrapped first in red yarn and then, literally, in red tape. The document wasn't "official" until the "red tape" was cut and it was filed with the state.

Last we went to the Lincoln Presidential Museum. It was an honor and a privilege to see The Gettysburg Address in the man's own hand. The museum is very interactive, very good for children and young people. If you look closely, you can see John Wilkes Booth hovering behind the Lincoln family. My nephew had a great time posing behind Booth and giving him devil horns. At 12, he's in that netherworld between kid and teen and, while reading and paying close attention to the exhibits, he had a childish habit of shuffling his feet in almost a little dance when he's lost in thought. While it amused me, I had to bust him. It wasn't really appropriate to do a Happy Dance when confronted with the death of toddler Eddie Lincoln or the controversy caused by The Emancipation Proclamation.

We also swam in the hotel pool and he ate his first cannoli. He liked the former but didn't think the latter lived up to its photo on the menu.

Even I didn't expect this!

I'm always a Cub fan, win or lose. But it's easier when they win. Which they have actually been doing! They have reigned victorious for 7 of the last 10 games, with a winning streak of four in a row. I'm beginning to expect a happy outcome when I sit down to watch a game. How cool is that?

I just wish we weren't soon going to say goodbye to Ryan Dempster and maybe even Geovany Soto, two of my favorite players. It's almost as though the better they do, they sooner they will leave, and that makes me a little sad.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Movie Time Meme 
 

1. What is your all-time favorite costume? Natalie Wood in Splendor in the Grass. The outfit in her last scene provides the perfect visual coda. It's clean and white and fresh, befitting her escape from the drab, repressive surroundings that caused her so much pain.

2. What classic film would you nominate for a remake? The Americanization of Emily (1964). The way the Iraq war was marketed to us with embedded reporters (remember poor David Bloom of NBC?) makes me think this is a story that could powerfully be retold for modern times.
 
3. Name your favorite femme fatale. Martha in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Though if she were here, I'm not sure she'd accept the title, saying, "I'm loud and I'm vulgar, and I wear the pants in the house because somebody's got to, but I am not a monster."

4. Name the best movie title. The Strange Loves of Martha Ivers. I've never seen the movie, but it's on TV a lot and I think, "Wow, that sounds like a trashy good time."

5. Describe the worst performance by a child actor that you’ve ever seen. Cammie King as Bonnie Blue Butler in GWTW. Didn't even have to give this one a moment's thought.

6. Who gets your vote for most tragic movie monster? Frankenstein.

7. What is the one Western that you would recommend to anybody? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Because Newman and Redford are the coolest guys who ever lived.

8. Who is your ideal movie-viewing partner? For old movies? My mom.

9. Has a film ever made you want to change your life? If so, what was the film? The Way We Were. I often (still) find myself tamping down the truest part of my personality to fit in, and I (still) always hate myself for doing it. I believe this is the twenty-second time I've mentioned that movie in this blog ...
 
10. Think of one performer that you truly love. Now think of one scene/movie/performance of theirs that is too uncomfortable for you to watch. Judy Garland. Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938). I hate how she's the talented ("I sing, you know") but plain girl in contrast to Ann Rutherford and especially Lana Turner, because I have read how much those comparisons hurt her in real life.

11. On the flip side, think of one really good scene/performance/movie from a performer that you truly loathe. June Allyson in Little Women. I know, I know! She's not even really very good in that. 

12. What is your favorite romantic comedy? When Harry Met Sally. All the recent talk about Nora Ephron reminds me how completely credible those two characters and their romance were. 

13. What is your favorite drama? The Way We Were (Ding! Ding! #23)

14. Worst film you've seen? Town and Country. Starred Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, Garry Shandling and Warren Beatty. And it could not suck more. Staggeringly bad. Not even funny-bad. Just bad.

15. How do you feel about the majority of romantic films being labeled "chick flicks"? I don't think about it, one way or the other.

16. Favorite on-screen couple? Nick and Nora Charles -- William Powell and Myrna Loy -- from The Thin Man movies.

17. Favorite off-screen couple? Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward

18. Best kiss in a movie? William Hurt and Holly Hunter sneak out of the Correspondents Dinner in Broadcast News.

19. Favorite scene? "Boobies!" From Valley of the Dolls

 

20. Who are 2 film characters you wished had gotten together, but never did? Mary Poppins and Bert the Chimney Sweep. (Though I have my suspicions ...)

21. Two actors you think would have great chemistry, but have never done a film together? Jennifer Aniston and Hugh Grant

22. Favorite song in a film (doesn't have to be from a musical)? A Hard Day's Night

23. Best score from a film? Help!

24. Best film quote? "Leave the gun, take the cannoli." The Godfather.

25. A film you'd recommend that is a "Must See" for us to watch? A Hard Day's Night. It's not only very, very funny, the performance footage at the end makes a wonderful Beatlemania primer.

Observations on a 12 year old boy

I'm traveling with my nephew and wondering if I ever slept this soundly or was this consistently ravenous or this impervious to summer heat. He sleeps through anything, is always up for a "snack" (like a burger with fries) and refers to 94° and relentless sun as "not so bad."

Riding the rails

First thing tomorrow morning, my nephew and I are off to Springfield to visit Abe Lincoln. We're going to the President's Tomb, the Museum and Library, and his home. I think part of why my nephew chose this for his summer outing the allure of going far away (at least by his rather circumscribed standards) by Amtrak.

Visiting the President's Tomb is not as grim as it may sound. Legend has it if you rub his nose, you will enjoy good luck.

My poor Mom

She had to put her cat to sleep yesterday. Now, for the first time ever, she is completely alone in her house. She is bereft. I wish there was something I could do to help her, but there isn't.

Losing a pet is losing a friend. It's a journey to get through it. She's in my thoughts and prayers.

"It was Paterno who ruined Paterno"

There is objective evidence that the beloved Joe Pa knew about Sandusky and the child molestation since 1998. He apologized for, and ultimately helped pay off, a pedophile. There is nothing that Paterno accomplished in his sports career that can wash this away.

It's like saying, "But the Juice won the Heisman!"

I am a sports fan. I indulge in hero worship. But I cannot stomach this. And no one should.

Thursday Thirteen #179

THIRTEEN FACTS ABOUT NATALIE WOOD

Natalie Wood is in the news again, after decades, because her death has been re-examined. It makes me sad that today she's best known as a celebrity drowning victim, because she had an impressive career.

1) Between her debut at age 5 and her death at age 43, she acted in more than 50 film and TV shows.

2) She received three Oscar nominations, all before the age of 25.

3) Her breakthrough childstar role is Susan, the sophisticated little girl who goes toe-to-toe with Santa in Miracle on 34th Street.

4) As a child she appeared with Bette Davis, Bing Crosby, Ethel Barrymore, James Stewart, and Marilyn Monroe. It was good training as she developed her own glamorous movie star persona.

5) Her breakthrough teen role came at age 16 in Rebel Without a Cause. She was rewarded with an Oscar nomination for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar.

6) She played the pivotal role of John Wayne's niece in the classic The Searchers.

7) Her first major hit as an adult actress was Splendor in the Grass in 1961. The film was popular with audiences, made Warren Beatty a star and earned Ms. Wood her second Academy Award nomination.

8) Her next film was West Side Story. Today, more than 50 years later, it's still one of the most profitable films of all time.

9) Her string of hits continued with Gypsy, Love with the Proper Stranger (her final Oscar nod) and Sex and the Single Girl.  

10) She hit a rough patch with audiences in 1966 with four consecutive, big-budget flops. She took some time off and came back with the popular but controversial Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.

11) That was her last major film success. She went into semi-retirement to concentrate on being a mom to her little girls.

12) She married Robert Wagner twice and appeared with him in one film (All the Fine Young Cannibals in 1960) and later on TV, including cameos on his shows Switch and Hart to Hart.

13) She always wore a bracelet or large watch on her left wrist to cover a bump she considered unsightly. She realized no one else noticed her "deformity" and jokingly called her ornamentation The Badge. But her insistence on The Badge whenever she was photographed or even went out in public shows how insecure one of the screen's loveliest stars could be.

For more information about the Thursday Thirteen,

or to play yourself, click here.

I Want Wednesday

I want all public restrooms to have toilet paper. Let's agree to never speak of this again. Shudder.

www.wednesday

To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions…

• What are you currently reading? The Meryl Streep Movie Club by Mia March. “A novel of love, family and movie night.” I really like the protagonists and appreciate how clearly they are drawn. But the story telling is pretty predictable and, while I will finish it, I'm very sure I already know who will live happily ever after and with which man. It's just Ms. March's first novel, though, so I think it shows promise and I enjoy how she ties in the magic of the movies.

 
• What did you recently finish reading? Robert B. Parker's Lullaby. It was an engaging mystery that was true to Spenser/Parker's unique voice. Also, it has me longing to go back to Boston.

• What will you read next? Anne Frank's Family by Mirjam Pressler. It's been 70 years since Anne breathed free. I think she deserves to be remembered, and this scholarly book fits the bill.

I hate the All Star Game

Because along with the All Star Game comes the All Star Break, and that means I don't see any good, old-fashioned Cub baseball until Friday. And things were definitely looking up for my heroes in blue before the break, winning 7 of their last 10 and no longer having the worst record in baseball. (I'm a Cub fan. I take my joy where I can find it.)

I ran the numbers (again)

Rumors are swirling (again) that there might not be enough client work to sustain our little team through the end of the year.

So I looked at my accounts and did the math and see that I have 7 months' worth of money before I'd have to touch to my retirement accounts (which would be very unwise and something I totally don't want to do until I retire).

I don't believe things are that dire. I think our client is just trying to get their resources in order on their side before we send any more work over the transom.

On the other hand, of my three unemployed friends, not a one of them saw it coming. So, I expect, if it happens to me it will be when I least expect it.

So I just keep periodically running the numbers! This Recession sure is tiresome. I'm ready for it to be over. How about you?

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net