That didn't last long, did it?

Read the post below and you'll see that I was getting all mushy over the job I had in the late 1990s. I realized as I wrote it that I was looking at the past through a rose-colored rear-view mirror, but my feelings were sincere.

Then I got an invitation to connect on Linked In from one of my employees from those days. What a diva he was! I resisted the temptation to respond by saying, "But why? You always thought I was a humorless corporate martinet who stifled your creativity with my slavish devotion to deadlines and budgets." Instead I just deleted it. What's the point? He's 2000 miles away in California, and he should only stay there.

Look what I found!

I didn't even realize I had this at the office!

Back in the days when Ally McBeal was first shown, I realize Vonda Shepard was polarizing. OK, I liked her and everyone else I knew hated her. Well, listening to her today, I still like her and think her rendition of "End of the World" is especially poignant.

I also find myself missing my late 1990s coworkers. Memory is kind, isn't it? For today I only remember the good things vividly and the bad things vaguely.

One singular sensation

From Hotstove.com:

The Baseball Writers Association of America just announced that Andre Dawson will be the only player inducted into the Hall of Fame this year.

Congratulations, to The Hawk!

The Queen's Meme

The Band Meme (aka The Album Cover meme)

I admit it. This frightens me.

Yes, you are the busiest woman EVER

But then why are you always on a personal call when I come in to discuss work with you?

That's the way my thought bubble reads today when I approach the art director I'm partnered with. She's going on a business trip tomorrow morning and will probably be gone two days. She's been talking about this for weeks -- since early December, in fact. She also came in to the office two days last week while I was in Florida. So you would think she would have all her ducks in a row: a plan for getting to her final meeting destination, a hotel picked out, etc.

You would think that, but you would be wrong.

She's also so damn exasperated by the little projects that are reappearing on her plate, requiring final revisions before they go to production. You would think that after yesterday's meeting, she would be thrilled and delighted to have too much on her plate. But you would be wrong.

I could forgive all this if she wasn't on the damn phone, and on personal calls, every time I go in to discuss work with her. And then if she didn't have the audacity to roll her eyes and sigh about how busy she is. After all, she has to leave early today for her counseling appointment! And didn't I realize it was going to be cold and snowy when she traveling?

She's not a kid. She's right behind me in age, knocking on 50. You'd think she'd know advertising is a deadline driven industry, that we're now in competition for our jobs and every project is an opportunity to shine, that one of her gazillion personal calls could be to her shrink to reschedule her appointment, that it's been known to snow during a Chicago winter.

You'd think that, but you would be wrong.

Thanks for listening. Sometimes I think the blogosphere actually helps me keep my temper and prevents me from doing her bodily harm.

Today's pick to click

I'm listening to Dusty in Memphis as I write. I love Ms. Springfield's voice, sometimes whispery, often beltastic. And my favorite cut is this one. That's saying a lot, since this song has also been covered by Norah Jones and la Streisand.

Thanks for keeping me company, Dusty, old girl.

Lyrics

It can't hurt

Do you know that adding a shot of vodka to my 20 oz. bottle of Pepsi only puts 56 extra calories on my daily total? And there's no universally accepted scale for measuring how it's benefited my mood.

It's been a rough day. Productive, but not merry. I understand that since I'm a grown up, I can't expect my work or my life to run smoothly every day. However, as a grown up, I am allowed to spike my Pepsi. So I guess it evens out.

Running through my head

Ah, Sweet Baby James

Lyrics

Well, that was unpleasant

The first big meeting of the new decade wasn't a positive one. Nothing having to do with me specifically, but unsettling regarding the business I work on. Trying not to freak out, because freaking out is especially pointless since this is sooooo far beyond my control. Needless to say, though, that the mood here today is most decidedly not upbeat as we embark on the new year.

To my favorite lefty

Left-handed pitcher, that is.*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TED LILLY!
Eat, drink and be merry today because soon you'll report to training camp.

*Both Sir Paul and my best friend are lefties, too.

Welcome to Resolution City

Population: One

In an attempt to become healthier and wealthier this year, I am going to:

1) Shape up. I realized while swimming last week that it's more important to shape up than to be a slave to the scale. So I am renewing my commitment to working out 3x/week, and I won't let it bother me if the needle doesn't move much.

2) No more bags. While I'm sure no one enjoys her handbags as much as I do, I also know no one needs as many as I have. For the sake of money and space, no more bags this year. The last one I bought is shown here. The polyester is made from recycled plastic soda bottles. It's nice that my last purse is a fun one.

3) No more books. My TBR pile remains quite tall. There's no reason for me to purchase more until I reduce it by a couple stories. (I crack me up.)

Wish me luck!

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "What If" Meme

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? My but this is a negative first question! I respectfully choose to protect my karma and not answer.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? Now this one doesn't bother me because it's a public service: Barry Manilow.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Bill Clinton. I worked on both his 1992 and 1996 campaigns and believe he did the country a lot of good. I also have faith in the Clinton Global Initiative. And that he would risk all that, tarnish all that just for a blow job really makes me want to ... well, punch him in the face. Just once. Or maybe a slap would do the trick. I just really want to work though all this lingering frustration.

4. What is your favorite cheese? Helen Reddy.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make? I assume this means I am now giving my sandwich order for the rest of my life: ham, American cheese, lettuce and light mayo on wheat.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Hmm ... I bet the respondents to this meme will leave him tuckered out, but I must go with Mr. Clooney.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick? Bruce. The Boss. You know, the recent Kennedy Center Honoree.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? Wow! I did Clooney and Springsteen one right after the other? Then I'll be spending that $100 at CVS on cranberry juice and a donut pillow.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Atlanta. So I can visit Chateau Elan.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do? Another spa treatment, please.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…? Vodka. There are so many ways to mix it so I'd never get bored.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there? Tavern on the Green, ca. 1985. I want to have lunch with Jacqueline Onassis. I'd like to experience an hour with a lady I admired in her natural habitat, especially since now they're both gone.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Critters must be treated with kindness and respect.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise? Two knowledgeable people with differing points of view discuss a single topic -- always with civility and warmth for one another and perhaps even humor. That way we might actually learn something about the world around us. Of course, I get to choose the topic. One I'd especially like to hear is: "George and Ringo -- talented musicians or just damn lucky?"

15.What is your favorite curse word? Fuck. It's even more versatile than vodka.

16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Scream. And, if I'm naked, cover up. It's never good to be underdressed around mummies.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item? My purse. I can't imagine leaving the house without my purse.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour? Clean up a bit. While going through my belongings, I think my mom would be mortified by what a bad housekeeper I became.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be? Read minds.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? A particular incident of lovemaking with a very particular gentleman. Sigh.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? It involved a male relative and it was icky. Let's leave it at that.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now? Canada. Specially Toronto. I really enjoyed visiting there and found it liveable.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be? I must investigate this and get back to you. After all, I have been banished to Canada and I'm not yet familiar with their bar scene.

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out…I can FLOAT!”? My nephew's. I believe he would be impressed.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life? Abraham Lincoln. I believe President Obama could his advice (and is wise enough to welcome it, too).

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My Grandpa.

27. What’s your theme song? Amy Winehouse -- "My Tears Dry on their Own."

To play along, visit Sunday Stealing!

Making me CRAZY!!!

I've got bug bites on my forearm, on the back of my knees, on my ankles. These bites actually woke me up! It's currently 2º here in Chicago, unbearably frigid to Key West residents, at least now that I'm home I won't be plagued by these little suckers (and I mean "suckers" literally).

My first post of 2010 is a beauty!

I was just awarded the Beautiful Blogger award by Kwizgiver. What a terrific way to begin a new year of blogging.

The award does come with the some responsibilities.

1. I must thank the person who bestowed this honor upon me. (Thanks, Teach!)

2. Copy the award and place it on my blog.

3. Link to the bestowers’ site.

4. Enumerate seven interesting things about myself. Here they are:

1) My blood type is AB+. Fewer than 4% of the population has AB+.
2) All my pets have had "people" names. (Currently Joey, Charlotte and Reynaldo.) No Fluffy or Kitty or Queenie for me.
3) I only pretended to have a crush on Barry Williams (Greg Brady) when I was in junior high. I really never liked The Brady Bunch.
4) My favorite movie food is Sno-Caps.
5) Verbally, I can be quite the bull in the china shop. Bluntness is my worst trait.
6) Looking back, I have been in love three times. (Unless Paul McCartney counts -- then four times)
7) As time goes on, I have a harder and harder time waking up in the morning.


5. Nominate seven bloggers that I find beautiful: BookMama (and family), Jenny McB, Her Royal Highness Mimi, Yesskia, Snarky Pants, The Bumbles, and Vivian.

New Year's Eve in the pool

I SWAM this morning! I can't recall the last time I swam in a public pool at all, much less swam laps. I feel very proud of myself, plus it was cool to spend New Year's Eve floating in a pool, watching the sun peeking through palm trees!

This hotel has two pools, but no one swims. The chaise lounges are full but the pools themselves are empty. This confuses me, but then, more room for me to splash so what the hey.

We also went to a museum devoted to the history of turtling here in the Keys. My nephew would have loved it. Tonight we're celebrating New Year's with dinner at a restaurant on the beach.

I'm here, safe and sound and rather happy

Here I am at the Tiki Bar in Key West. I only have 6 mins. left on this prepaid session, so this won't be very long, nor detailed.

Just kudos to US Airways in both O'Hare and Charlotte. I was so afraid to fly this morning, what with the failed terrorism attempt on Christmas. But security, while a bit more thorough than usual, was very organized and efficient. I made my connection in Charlotte easily, and, starting tomorrow, I will begin enjoying my time with my friends here.

9/11 is never far from my mind. But being down here, travelling anyway, keeping to my plans, is my little way of defying the forces that try to change my way of life.

Like a force to be reckoned with ... sort of

My brand-new Roller Derby Name is
Auntie FatalAttraction.

Take MIA PSYCHO'S ROLLER DERBY NAME GENERATOR today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

First time this millennium, last time this decade

While I didn't lose as much weight this year as I would have liked, I lost enough and shaped up enough to actually bring my swimsuit (that's it right there) along with me to Key West tomorrow.

Monday Movie Meme -- Historical Films

Share on your blog those movies that take place in the past, covering a specific period in style or subject, and link back here at The Bumbles. And don't forget to visit your fellow participants!

All The President's Men (1976). Is it paranoia if there really are dark forces conspiring to corrupt the government? This movie takes us back to a critical loss of innocence, when we saw how rotten the Watergate apple really was, and in many ways we still haven't recovered from the resulting cynicism.

The Diary of Anne Frank (1959). There have been movies more graphic about the Holocaust, but for me, this is the most moving because it makes the claustrophobia and the unfairness and the horror so much more personal.

Gone with the Wind (1939). This MGM epic takes us back to the Civil War and the Reconstruction as seen through the eyes of socially-prominent (if no longer wealthy) Southerners. Aside from being a glorious example of cinematic storytelling, and a terrific tale of love and loss, it unintentionally tells us almost as much about the 1930s as it does the 1860s. MGM's POV seems to be, "slavery wasn't THAT bad, and 'damn' is a controversial oathe but the 'n' word is acceptable.'"

It's what we do in this family

I called my mother, speaking to her for the first time since our awkward parting on Christmas Eve. I figured that she's old now, she's forgetful, she's not well and she's not going to change. Whatever happened on Christmas Eve shouldn't ruin whatever time we have left. (My sister, though, she's a more prickly situation …)

Anyway, my mom was very chatty, thanking me time and again for my gifts, merrily reporting on my niece and nephew. More than once I was tempted to say, "Do you want to talk about it?" OK, I was dying to SHOUT it! But that's me, that's not my mom, nor my sister. Their style is passive-aggressive. To act out a bit, and then spackle over the problem, pretending it's gone away.

Their style is not my style. For I believe (to quote Carrie Fisher) that nothing is every really over, just "over there." But my mom was raised by a pair of alcoholics and is desperately confrontation-averse. She's also 70+ and my mother and I love her despite of her flaws. Her parents messed hers up, mine messed me up, and if I had a daughter, I'd probably mess her up, too. It doesn't mean she doesn't love me. It means we must accept one another in order to enjoy the time we have left.

PS I got your message and thank you, Snarkela. You're so dear. I'm afraid, though, that what our dustup refers back to is too painful to discuss just now. But I'm so grateful that you're out there.

Of Zoey and Jeremy and Neil

It wasn't a good Christmas and I just can't shake it. Perhaps someday I will blog about the details, but I can't right now. Instead I'm comforting myself by wondering how the kids at the children's home -- Zoey and Jeremy and Neil -- enjoyed their presents.

Zoey got the coat she asked for, in pink, with along with a pair of Dora the Explorer sunglasses. I tossed in the sunglasses because I wanted her to have a little fun, just in case the coat is a tad utilitarian a gift. I bought Jeremy sweats and a miniature book about Rudolph because a clothes gift can be lightened with some reindeer games. And Neil got the pajamas he asked for, plus a picturebook tie-in to Disney's 3-D Christmas Carol with Marley's apparition on the cover because ghouls can be cool to an 8-year-old boy.

I also think about my donations to the toy drive at work -- especially the special retelling of Marley and Me and the package of holiday-themed lipglosses, hoping that a kid with an affinity for pets and a girl who dreams of make-up received them.

I am fortunate that giving can fill me with joy. That I have enough imagination to visualize faces to go with the names. It means I have happy memories to attach to Christmas 2009, no matter what. I don't want to become like my friend, John, who refers to December 25 as "just a day."

New Year, New Template

It was time for a change. This is bolder and cleaner. Perhaps it's foreshadowing what's in store for 2010. (What do you think, Snarks?)

Unconscious Mutterings

I haven't "muttered" in quite a while, but here goes:

Classified :: Information
Praised :: Flattered

Censored :: Redacted

2010 :: Champagne toast
Lamp :: Light
Alternate :: Girlfriend (with apologies to The Barenaked Ladies)
Script :: Font
Handsome :: Crush
Eager :: Anxious
Meeting :: Appointment

To play along yourself, click here.

An exceptional movie

Up in the Air is smart and sexy and funny and very believable -- even with a rather daring plot twist toward the end. George Clooney plays a grown up, which bodes well for a long and graceful career (meaning he doesn't embarrass himself by wooing women half his age the way Jack Nicholson did).

Since so much of this movie is about downsizing, and what a profitable industry it can be for some, be sure you're emotionally prepared to see firings onscreen. Really. I imagine that if this movie came out a year ago, when I expected to be fired every other Monday, I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much.

On the other hand, watching it reinforces why when earlier in this decade, as three people who worked for me were let go, I'm glad I insisted on being there. There is a dignity to handling it correctly, and a kindness to letting employees vent their anger to your face. I believe it makes it easier for them to move on.

This day may be shot to hell

What can compete with an NCIS marathon? Thanks alot, USA Network.

And Santa, even though I forgot to specifically ask for Gibbs, couldn't you have left him for me Christmas morning anyway?

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Sam's Last Stand of 2009

1. What did you think of 2009? It was better than I thought it would be, but it still kinda sucked.

2. What do you think was the news story of the year? Barack Obama's inaugural.

3. What happened this year that you never want to hear another word about? TIGER WOODS!

4. What was your favorite song of 2009? "My Life Would Suck without You" by Kelly Clarkson

5. What did you accomplish this year? It's all health-related. I have a work-out regimen now (not that you can prove it by my behavior since Thanksgiving) and I have my complexion under control.

6. Did you learn anything new this year? Lots of little things related to #5.

7. What are you looking forward to in the new year? A bit more tranquility.

8. What are your plans for New Year's Eve? I don't know yet. I'l be in Key West, and will just go with the flow.

9. What's the best thing you ever did on a New Year's Eve? I was in a new relationship, that really "hot" phase. So we made out, went to dinner at a comedy club, came home, made love, messed around on the futon while watching a Bogart-Bacall movie ...

Yea! Buddy's On!

Thank you for showing Elf, USA Network! I love Buddy.

A rather more Christmasy memory of 2009

My uncle is a complicated man. Until about 20 years ago he was driven by success and money. He believed (perhaps still believes) that success and money give him power, gain him acceptance, if not love. This attitude makes him a bit of a dick at times. His slow, slow but inexorable deterioration due to Parkinson's has not improved his disposition or his outlook.

To tell our story, his and mine, two things must be included: (1) His life was shaped in large part by his service in Viet Nam and (2) while he may have been unpleasant to others in my family, I have never had a gripe about how he has treated me personally. I have many girlhood recollections of his kindness and fun we had together, and I keep those always at the forefront of my memory when I deal with the sick, grumpy, difficult old man he has become.

Which is why chatting with him last night (Christmas Eve) was so touching.

He doesn't join us for family holiday celebrations anymore. His days are often bad ones and he isn't up to having many people around. But he sent a gift for me to over to my mom's house, and he called to be on the phone with me when I opened it. The package mostly contained old family -- OK, old family pet -- photos. But there were also a pair of old notes, one from 1994 and one from 2003, that I sent him. I was thanking him for introducing me to the Beatles back in February 1964. I was very moved that he had kept them all these years, that he had moved them with him from house to house, and saddened that he returned them to me. It was his way of letting me know he appreciates me, and of making sure they aren't disposed of when he dies.

I was sad to learn, too, that he didn't understand my Christmas gift to him. Enclosed with his card were a letter from Operation Shoebox and a list of goodies donated to soldiers in his name. He said he saw "something" in the card but couldn't really "follow" it.

Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter, really. He seemed just as happy that I sent him a card, and two soldiers in Afghanistan had a happier holiday because of the stuff they received.

Portrait of Amy

WARNING: This is not a Christmasy, sentimental post. It's just something I need to get off my chest (and into my blog) so I can get past it and feel Christmasy and sentimental. If you're not prepared for a bit of bitchy today, please don't read on.

Recently my friend Mindy and I were discussing the March sisters and wondered if anyone reads Little Women, meets the character of Amy and says, "Hey! That's me!"

I don't know if my kid sister has ever read Little Women, much less seen herself in the character of Amy, but she certainly could. For the description of the baby of the March family on SparkNotes reads, "She is given to pouting, fits of temper, and vanity; but she does attempt to improve herself."

My 44-year-old baby sister is sharp-tongued, yet insists on seeing herself as weak and put upon. She also has a tremendous sense of entitlement. Her happiness, her comfort, is everyone else's responsibility and she never fails to view me in the worst possible light because it supports her self perception as sensitive, powerless, unappreicated heroine.

I don't want to go into detail on the Christmas 2009 manifestation, but let's just say I wish she was more comfortable smoking indoors at my mom's house. In holidays gone by, she would have gone downstairs with my mom, had a cigarette and complained about how awful I am. Then, once she had her smoke, she would calm down a bit. I never knew exactly what was said about me, but I could tell by the looks she would shoot me that I was in her doghouse. However this year, she stood in the kitchen, washing dishes with my mother, and complained about how awful I am while I was within earshot. I was on the phone with my uncle, who asked to talk to me and my mom but no one else in the family -- maybe that's part of why she's so bitchy, I don't know -- but I heard every word she said about me. I was only a few feet away.

As the tension between us mounted, I left the room and called a cab to come take me home. I wanted to get out of there, I ached to get to church, I wanted to remember the true meaning of Christmas. My niece, the other most-frequent target of "Amy's" ire, followed me and wanted to make sure I was OK. I assured her that I was and kept my feelings about her mother to myself. My niece knows what her mother is like, after all, and besides, IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!

I was distracted all through the candlelight service. I am angry at myself for that. I was just suddenly so weary, so angry, so hurt that I couldn't be in the moment. So I'm trying to cleanse myself of the upset by posting. I want to feel Christmasy on Christmas Day.

All I want for Christmas is Professor Bhaer

Had my annual holiday lunch with my friend, Mindy. We've known each other 30 years (I met her at the same company where I met John and Cathy) and while our lives have both changed tremendously over the decades, she has remained fundamentally the same: Sweet, guileless and romantic in her world view.

One of the first things we bonded over back in those long ago days was books. So it wasn't unusual that before we exchanged gifts we happened upon two of our favorite characters -- Agatha Christie's Poirot and Jo from Little Women. I reminded Mindy that she is the only girl I know who related to Beth, the middle sister who dies, as she read the Little Women. She laughed and said the dying part does make Beth kind of a bummer role model, but says as a girl she was just as shy and dreamy as her favorite March sister. There's still a lot of young Beth in grown up Mindy. We agreed that I remain ineffably Jo: independent and impatient.*

When I opened my gift, I was happy to find a key and lock necklace (not unlike this one) and matching earrings! We both expressed the hope that I will find my own Professor Bhaer, Jo's supportive and accepting lover, who proposes to her as they stand together in the rain, sharing an umbrella. Since it was raining today, we figured it would be easy for me to find my professor today because so many men had umbrellas. It's an umbrella that would really be the key to unlocking my heart.

It's a sweet fantasy and a generous wish for the New Year. Which makes it very Mindy.

* We can both name women we know were Megs as girls. Jo is one of the first heroines I ever related to. And, of course, Mindy saw herself in Beth. But do any girls see themselves as Amy (spoiled and superficial)?

Done for the decade

Most of my coworkers and many of my clients took today off, so I got into work very late this morning. I cleared up a few loose ends, organized my messy files, and literally filled a dumpster with boxes and manilla folders and bags and files from spring 2004. (I think if no one has asked for them in five years, it's safe to part with them.) I also took down all my holiday directions and tucked them away till next year.

Then I left he office at about 2:00, not to return until 1/4/2010.

It hasn't been a terrific decade for my career or for my industry. Here's hoping that 2010 ushers in both a new decade and new leaf.

I. JUST. CAN'T.

After a little over 5 hours, I am down to four gifts left to wrap. But I just can't go on. I still have to go to work tomorrow. (OOPS! Make that today!)

I've got bags and bags and bags littering my livingroom. Old Navy, Borders, FYE, Kohl's ... If it wasn't for my love of the planet, and my fear of Al Gore, I would just toss them. But no, I will shmush all the littler ones inside a big one and hopefully find a place to recycle them.

The Queen's meme

1. What is the most annoying Christmas song? Today, anything by Sammy Davis, Jr. It's a mood I'm n.

2. Name one annoying thing that happens to you each time you get together with your family during the holidays. My mom will rhapsodize over one of our relatives who is a real repulsivo, and I will bite my tongue. The illusion of a healthy, happy family is so important to her that I just send my mind to the happy place.

3. What is eggnog? Think about it. Does anybody really know? Eleven secret herbs and spices.

4. Don't take this personally but there are lots of fruitcakes walking around. Have you encountered any real live nuts lately? All the people who bitch and complain about the families blocking the sidewalk as they check out the Macy's State Street windows. Duh. Christmas comes this time every year. The holiday windows are famous. What do these grumpy nutballs expect? Walk on the other side of the street!

5. Why were the nine Lords a'leaping in those annoying tights???! Chafing.

6. What is the most annoying Christmas gift you've ever received? What did you do with it?? Someone gave me Barbie doll clothes when I was clearly a mature, sophisticated junior high school-aged woman who was beyond such frivolity! I don't recall what happened to them.

7. Let's admit it: Christmas, with all its splendor and goodwill, can also be a pain in the royal patootie. How do you plan to circumvent annoyances this year and enjoy the season? I think most of the frustration and annoyance will be behind me once I get all the gifts wrapped. But I've been getting through it by reminding myself that the annoying moments will pass and I shouldn't let them ruin my holiday. Oh, and I drink alot.

To play along, and avoid spending the holidays in the dungeon,
click here.

Sorry, Sam

Sammy Davis, Jr., is bugging me today. I don't know why, since I'm the one who knowingly downloaded his renditions of "The Christmas Song" and "Jingle Bells," but every time he comes on he sounds smug and silly to me and I skip him.

Sometimes Dino's carols sound a little too schmaltzy for me, too. I guess the only Rat Packer who doesn't ever wear out his welcome with me is The Chairman of the Board himself, Frank Sinatra. Maybe that's how you can tell the "good" from the "great."

I loved hanging out on this corner

The musical In the Heights is set primarily on one street corner -- with a cab company, bodega and beauty salon. Those who live and work there -- Nina, Benny, Abuela, and especially Usnavi -- seem like friends by the end of the evening. It's an uplifting story about change (the neighborhood goes from Irish to Hispanic, the kids grow into adults) and love and family. It's a warm and energetic night at the theater.

I really wanted to go last night because it was the last time I'd see my theater buddy Barb before Christmas. Of course we had a good time (though over dinner she was so distracted by work intrigue and family issues that I almost took her iPhone away from her). But the play was a spectacular, unexpected treat.