It wasn't all movies

I socialized quite a bit when I was in Hollywood for the TCM Film Festival. I enjoyed it, and I learned a lot from it.

Spending time at Mel's. This iconic diner, right off Hollywood Blvd., is very convenient to both the festival and my hotel. I had two rather important meals there. 

The first was dinner with my oldest friend's daughter. I held her as a baby and now she's a tall, willowy woman. She's got a good job she enjoys with an LA ophthalmologist and lives with Jose, the 30-something she brought along. I was glad he was there. Her mother is a mess and it was valuable to hear his take, which is more objective than her daughter's or mine. Some of what he told me was legit disturbing – maybe I'll post about it later, maybe I won't – but it was important for me to hear. This situation is bad and my ability to impact it is maddeningly limited. I have to accept that, and try not be sucked into my friend's crazy.

I was happy to see that my friend's daughter and Jose are committed to one another and are really working at their relationship. They have even taken a couples' vacation to Vegas with her dad! I admit I never liked her father, but that's not the point. It's completely natural for her to want to have a relationship with him, and I think it's great that Jose encourages her in this while also supporting efforts to help her troubled mother.

Then there was "the kick-off breakfast." A rather tight group of TCMFF regulars meets on the first morning of the festival to catch up on their lives and compare notes on what they're looking forward to in the festival line-up. Last year I happened upon it rather accidentally. It meant a lot to me that this year I was specifically included. That felt good. Especially because of Doug. He's the husband of Laura, a passionate baseball fan like me only she roots for the Dodgers. I respect her commitment as she does mine and we have a nice time together. Doug has always been another kettle of fish. First of all, he loves John Wayne, Clint Eastwood and all that toxic masculinity. Online, he almost shits a brick when Jane Fonda's name comes up (and it comes up rather often in classic film discussion groups). And, during the first year of the festival after covid, he mocked those of us who wore masks (as per the rules) "sheeple." 

The thing of it is, last year he got such a kick out of listening to his wife and I fan girl over baseball that he actually now looks forward to seeing me. He hugged me every time we ran into each other throughout the festival. He gave me a pin. It's some cowboy actor I couldn't identify but that's not the point, he wanted me to have it. We even had a fun time together in line later, waiting to see Modern Times.  

Do I agree with Doug on just about anything? No. But this turn of events makes me happy. It's better to have someone out there liking me than disliking me.

Gazing upon the fountains.  There's a restaurant called La Piazza at The Grove shopping center in Los Angeles. The Italian food is very good – I had carbonara – and it was nice to dine outdoors. 

My lunch partner was Tina. We worked together a million years ago, back during the Clinton administration. She now lives outside Los Angeles and is happy to see me and get a little dose of Chicago when I come out for TCM.

I'm always surprised and gratified that she enjoys spending time with me. It reminds me of the olden days, when I was the "go-to" girl at the center of every project at the advertising agency. That's how Tina still sees me. She always was and still is gorgeous – thick black hair down her back, great clothes, slim figure. In the looks arena, she always intimidated me. But her career never really took off and after she had her first baby, she left the workforce. She and her husband are still together after all these years – no mean feat – and their two kids are both embarking on careers, so I don't think she regrets her choice at all. Yet she told me that her daughter asked who mom was dining with today and she described me as "super talented" and said she admired me. Wow. And here I thought I was a fat spinster who sold candles at a card shop, while Tina is living the LA lifestyle! 

There's a message in there somewhere.