These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
December 16: The hardest person to buy for
My friend Kathleen. She makes a good deal of money and can buy herself anything she wants, so finding the right present takes thought and imagination.
Every year I used to give my mother a snow removal service. Some years it was a great deal, some years it turned out to be quite expensive. The important thing was it saved her from going out with her bad knees and COPD and shoveling the white stuff herself.
Artificial tree. And here it is, the last time it made an appearance, Christmas 2011. The picture reminds me I enjoyed. Maybe next year I'll put it up.
Here's what I left in the Toys for Tots donation box:
• Firefighter playset (fire engine, ladder, etc.)
• "I Luv London" beauty kit (cologne/bath/body lotion), perfect for a girl 10+
• Boggle
• A pair of Our Generation puppies
• Disney Princess magnetic paper dolls (I loved magnetic paper dolls when I was little)
• Plush bear, ideal for a pre-schooler
Now I get to imagine the wee ones when Santa hands them out. That's the part I like best.
Then there's Andrew. He's the little boy who attends daycare at the children's home next door. I got him what he asked for -- a giftcard to the local bookstore -- and an Inside Out activity book.
Andy Williams was right: It IS the hap-happiest season of all ...
25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself. "ONLY enjoy by myself?" That's hard ... 1) Spa treatments. The idea of having to talk to one of my friends while I am having a massage or facial is annoying. 2) The actual reading of a book, or listening to an audiobook. My aunt and uncle read aloud to one another during long car rides. It sounds cute, but I think it would make me want to scream. 3) Watching the news. I like to concentrate.
26. If you could live in any biome* (and survive) which biome would you live in? (*a large naturally occurring community of flora and fauna occupying a major habitat, e.g., forest or tundra.)
I have read this question twice, and yet all I get is "blah-blah-blah." So I respectfully decline to answer.
This would be nice
27. How do you like being roused in the morning? Mark Harmon would be nice.
28. How was your day? What did you do? My day has just started. So far I have fed the cats and updated my Farmville 2 farm.
29. What did your last text message say? It was a reminder from the salon about my Saturday pedi appointment.
30. Do you respond to texts quickly? Usually. Depends on if I can find my phone. (I lose things.)
31. Who was the last person you called? The bank. I put a "stop payment" on a check and wanted to know what the bank fee would be.
32. List 5 things that are on your wish list. 1) A massive Amazon gift card. I'm sure there are books/movies I want that I haven't even thought of yet. 2) Socks. Why do I have so many black ones but not enough navy and white? 3) Gingerbread cookies.
4) A CVS gift card. There are things I really resent spending money on
(toilet paper, light bulbs) and a gift card to cover those would make me
happy. 5) Long-sleeved pullovers.
33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for? I suspect that if I were born 10 years earlier, I would have been a stereotypical 60s radical.
34. Winter or summer? Winter.
35. What is a quality that all people should have? Empathy
36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be? $10 bills. I'd like lots and lots and lots of $10 bills. Stacks and stacks of 'em.
38. What is the secret to a happy life? I'll leave it to JT.
39. What are some phrases you say often? "The thing of it is ..." "I could do that, IF I WAS SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY!" "I'm sorry." "It's a party to be near me, isn't it?"
40. Favorite food? It changes. Right now, I'm seriously into pizza.
41. What is your wish for the world? I'd like us all to keep the lid on. Chicago is a very tense place these days. The tension is palpable. I just want us all to get through, you know? I want it all to hold together without exploding, the way Ferguson and Baltimore did. So far, the protests have been peaceful and that leaves me proud and hopeful.
42. What are some of your greatest fears? See above. I understand that the rest of the country is frightened by ISIS. While 14 people were tragically murdered in San Bernardino, 35 Chicagoans were shot to death by other Chicagoans in the month of November alone. I understand intellectually that I am statistically unlikely to be hurt by either a terrorist or a gang banger. BUT if I'm going to be frightened ... Like I said, Chicago is a tense place these days. Oh, and Donald Trump, you are an asshole. Every time he talks about the gangs of "immigrant Mexicans" that plague Chicago, I want to scream. He has no understanding of what's going on around here. None. Sorry, I know this isn't very Christmas-y. But you asked!
43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? My Giordano's order. I'm sending two frozen deep dish pizzas to my friends in the Keys. There's much that's wonderful about Key West, but the pizza situation down there is pathetic.
44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? BIG bodies of water. Lake Michigan, Atlantic, Gulf of Mexico, Pacific ... never gets old.
45. Spicy food: Like or dislike? Dislike.
46. Scary movies: Like or dislike? Like. But only if we're talking scary vs. violent. They don't always go together. In the famous shower scene in Psycho, you never once see the blade touch skin.
47. Do you like to travel? I like being in new and different places. However, I don't necessarily like getting there. Train rides are fine, but flying sooooooo stresses me out.
48. Any regrets? I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
The Christmas Cookie Club by Ann Pearlman. I've read it twice, and if my TBR pile wasn't so tall I'd be reading it again now. It's a lovely, well-crafted story of friendship and traditions. And it's filled with cookie recipes, some of which I've actually been tempted to try.
I've read that Ava Gardner is the only one who called him "Francis." She broke his heart 200 different ways and 200 different times, and the experience taught him to sing like this. He was smart enough, gifted enough, to know how to use the pain.
I can think of no better way to pay tribute to Frank Sinatra on his 100th birthday than with Frank Sinatra.
1)
In this song, Chuck E.'s friends look for him at the pool hall and the
drugstore. If we want to find you on a Saturday afternoon, where should
we look? This weekend, I'm getting my holiday pedi. Revlon 590 Trendy. It's the first time I've moved out of the pink/red realm into teal. Time to broaden my horizons!
2)
The lyrics tell us his friends know something up with Chuck E because
he's even combed his hair. So here's a question about your hair: do you
usually use a blow dryer or let it air dry? I blow it dry. It's pretty short now, so I don't need mousse. But in about a week or so, I'll have to call in reinforcements to control it.
3)
In this song, Ricki Lee sings that she spotted Chuck E. at the
Pantages, a grand old Los Angeles theater. Nearly 100 years old, the
Pantages was originally a movie palace and was renovated in the 1980s
for concerts and theatrical productions. Tell us about a cool landmark
in your town. Macy's on State Street is a National Historic Landmark. It was originally the Marshall Field's flagship store. Nine stories tall, it's been there since 1873. It's awesome. The Christmas windows are always adorable (this year's are devoted to Peanuts). There's a fountain in the lobby where I've tossed countless pennies making untold wishes. It's my favorite place to shop.And it means a lot to the city. That's why the protesters have targeted it so often these past few weeks.
4)
"Chuck E." is a real person. Chuck E. Weiss is a blues musician and DJ
who hung around with Ricki Lee and her boyfriend ... until he fell in
love. Have you ever had a friendship fall by the wayside when one of you
entered a romantic relationship? Not over romance or marriage. Babies have proven to the death knell of some friendships. Parents of wee ones just can't get together after work anymore.
5) Rickie Lee was once married to a French musician named Pascal Nabet-Meyer. Say something to us in French. Sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble.
6) When her popularity was at its height, Rickie Lee appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone twice. Who have you seen on a recent magazine cover? Just read the PEOPLE cover story about Sandra Bullock and her new daughter. Aw ... 7) Rolling Stone called Rickie Lee "the duchess of cool." Who is the coolest person you know? Not Rickie Lee Jones. She looks so incredibly hygienically challenged, with her greasy hair and little brown cigs. YUK. Instead I'll vote for my friend John. He's hip. He marches to his own drummer. And while we've never discussed it, I'm certain he washes his hair more often than Rickie Lee Jones.
8) 1979 was a good year for Rickie Lee, what with her big hit record and the Rolling Stone covers.
But it was a terrible year for The Who, because eleven of their fans
died during an Ohio concert. What's your favorite Who song? I'm not really a Who fan, but I like "You Better, You Bet." 9)
Rickie Lee moved to New Orleans, a city she fell in love with after a
visit. Have you ever gone to a vacation spot and wished you could just
stay there forever? Washington DC or Boston. I feel enormously comfortable in both places.
Another week of protests have come to an end. Streets have been closed, business and shopping and commuting have been disrupted, but blessedly, there have few arrests, and no violent police/demonstrator clashes.
I'm proud of the way Chicago is working through this. Citizens are in pain and they are determined to make themselves heard. The CPD has been respectful of everyone's First Amendment rights, and the demonstrators have given the police no reason to arrest them.
But I'm so sorry it's happening. The tension is palpable.
I have been worried about Joey. He's old, his kidney disease is irreversible, he doesn't have much time left. I'm trying to get my mind around losing him, and the big, overriding thought is that I never want him to hurt. I want to spare Joey pain at all costs. But what does Joey in pain look like? Would I even know? Is it safe to leave him alone for four days when I go to Key West for Christmas? I needed answers. So I took today off and bundled Joseph up and took him to the vet. This is what I found out. • Yes, he's lost weight, but since he's otherwise healthy and well hydrated, that's not so bad. • Yes, he can be alone over Christmas. Being without his meds for four days likely won't make a difference. After all, the main purpose of the meds is to help preserve his sight, and since he's an indoor cat, being blind isn't really even that big a deal. • No, there's no reason for him to come back until 2016. Yes, he's old and frail and has irreversible kidney disease. But "nothing is imminent."
Both the vet and the office staff were very pointed about wishing me a Merry Christmas AND HAPPY NEW YEAR, and "See you and Joe next year!" They wanted me to feel more confident about my old tomcat being around to welcome 2016. They succeeded.
Click here to see the American Humane holiday collection
December 11: Favorite holiday tradition
I kick off Christmas over Thanksgiving weekend, when I write out my cards. I always send cards that promote a charity. Most people were sent a critter card that supports American Humane Association. Those who do not celebration Christmas or aren't that into puppies and kittens received a card from the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation. (Those were harder to write out, because I miss Williamsburg more than I realized.)
I like starting the holidays by reminding myself what matters -- the people in my life and causes I care about.
Life just feels weird these days. It's spooky warm for mid-December. The rest of the country is all about Donald Trump, but that blowhard feels barely relevant with everything that's going on here. Protestors are disrupting the Loop, and streets are being closed to traffic as the police try to keep the peace.
My cat, Joey, is dying. My friends have been disappointing me as of late. Toys for Tots is falling shortof its 2015 goal for the Chicagoland area.
At last! Something I can have an impact on!
I had to go to Target anyway to get Gerber baby food for Joey.* There I found this absolutely awesome display of tiny Our Generation puppies. Each is barely 4" tall and fits easily in your hand. I bought two and deposited them into the Walgreens box. It felt good. I like imagining the little one who connects with their tiny new puppy on Christmas.
*He needs as much moisture as we can get into his diet.
My friend Barb isn't feeling well. She's battling the flu and it makes it hard for her to focus. I'll assume that's why my birthday celebration was so underwhelming.
A month ago, she contacted me to make plans for my birthday dinner. I told her that since we had tickets to see Beautiful, a play I desperately wanted to see, for December 9, we could just figure on celebrating then. She was good with that. "I'll make the dinner reservation because it's your birthday!" she wrote back.
November melted into December and I didn't hear from her. Had she forgotten? I didn't want to appear pushy -- after all, she was buying me dinner and giving me a gift. On the other hand, I had been waiting forever to see Beautifuland didn't want anything to interfere.
Last weekend, while I was farting around on the internet, I discovered that the Loop restaurants in the theater district were booking up fast. Not only is Beautiful playing at the Oriental, Lion King is back at the Cadillac Palace. The nicer restaurants on Randolph are going to be busy between now and Christmas.
So I went ahead and booked dinner at 6:00 at 312. That would give us a little over an hour to eat and then get into our seats to catch the 7:30 curtain.
At 6:10, she texted me that she'd be there "in a minute." She rolled in at 6:20. I didn't have time to finish my sausage and mushroom risotto. (Too bad, because it was delicious.) She also wasn't terribly present. I wanted to talk to her about my poor old tomcat, Joey. I thought she'd be receptive because in 2012, I went through the death of her beloved Max with her. She wasn't interested in letting me talk about it. Instead she wanted to gossip about a woman we both know. I felt dismissed. Like an after thought.
Like I say, she was sick, fresh off an afternoon trip to the doctor, in fact. And she did get me a lovely gift -- a pair of glass and pewter salt and pepper shakers that are really adorable. But still, I felt a little empty at the end of the evening.
Saw the Carole King musical, Beautiful, last night. What a lovely heroine she makes! She's talented, she's humble, she's good, and she's highly relate-able. You watch and say, "I've been her!" Or, "She's just like my friend!"
And the music! Of course, "Beautiful," and "It's Too Late," and "You've Got a Friend" and "I Feel the Earth Move" and "Natural Woman." The songs that have made Tapestry one of the most popular albums of all time. But there's also her older stuff with Gerry Goffin. I've always especially loved "Up on the Roof."
If you get a chance to see it, do. You won't regret it.
Cinnamon. And now I've got this wretched piece of pop running through my head. On a continuous loop. "One potato, two potato, three potato, four. Open up cinnamon, I want more ..."
WWW.WEDNESDAY is back! To participate, and to see how others responded, click here.
1. What are you currently reading? Brief Encounters by Dick Cavett. The sequel to Talk Show (see below). It's more of the same, which is to say I'm enjoying it even when
it annoys me. I got this one -- signed by the author! -- for my
birthday.
2. What did you just finish reading? Talk Show by Dick Cavett.
This collection of essays covers the waterfront -- politics, show
business, pop culture and grammar. Reading it is like having Cavett's
voice in your head. Since he's so bright and so funny, that's a good
thing. There are times when he's a bit too smug, a little too in love
with himself, but I forgive it because I've always kinda had a crush on
him.
Either my oldest friend of my nephew. For they are massive Beatle fans. And I am uniquely qualified to select the perfect gift for the Beatle fan on your list.
Spent much of today on trains. The el to Amtrak this morning, Amtrak back home tonight. I enjoy the train, especially now that the wifi is so steady, but it was a long-ass day.
The client invited us down to meet their lawyers and listen to a presentation on regulations in financial services marketing. It wasn't scintillating, but it is relevant to my job and therefore it held my interest. Coming back, I treated myself to business class.
It's quieter in business class, with most people either snoozing or doing paper work, as opposed to coach, where travelers tend to blab and move around more. This gave me the opportunity to eavesdrop on the woman sitting across the aisle from me.
She is a nurse from (I'm guessing) St. Louis who is in Chicago for some kind of training this week. She's staying at the Silver Smith, which is a very, very nice hotel. She is, I guess, a few years older than I am. I gleaned all this from the call I heard her make to her mother, who, it seems, is recovering from some rather serious illness. Her mom was interested in the minutiae of her daughter's life, which is how I learned that she's a nurse, she did rounds this morning, and had a toasted cheese sandwich for lunch before boarding the train.
The daughter complained about her sister's Christmas card, telling her mother that Sis shouldn't have published their mother's health struggles. Then she updated her mom about her pets and ... oh, yeah! ... her husband.
It was the kind of call you could tell this dutiful daughter made regularly to her mother.
Today would have been my own mother's birthday. I miss being able to make those calls.
December 8: Post a picture of Christmas decor
These are three of the four cardboard cutouts we gaze at in my office. (The fourth is Santa, and he decorates our little office frig.) They are decades old, purchased at Woolworth's back in the 1980s. I adore them.
Sorry the photo is so blurry. I took it with my phone.
I always wanted to spend Christmas with Andy Williams
December 7: Your Most Memorable Christmas
Unfortunately, my most memorable Christmases were the bad ones. The tense ones. The worst one was when I was in high school.
My icky grandmother was an alcoholic. It would be easy to attribute all of her bad behavior to booze, but that's not accurate. She was a brittle, angry woman before she drank, and a brittle, angry woman after she got sober. But this story happened to take place while she was drinking.
She had to host a sit-down Christmas Eve dinner at her home every year. My mother offered to have a buffett at our house, but Grandma refused. "Tradition is important." OK. As far as I saw, the tradition was that every year she resent how hard she worked to prepare food for us ingrates. Also, when I tried to help, she scolded me for my ineptitude and shamed my mother for neglecting to teach me domestic skills.
The previous Thanksgiving, just weeks before, I tried to help with the dishes after dinner. My older sister scalded me with the sink spray hose. I screamed (in pain) and my dear, sweet Grandma said, "For Christ's sake, Gal, aren't you EVER quiet?"
So now it's Christmas Eve. I remember the dress I was wearing (green, boatneck). I was sitting on the floor admiring the gift she'd given me: a big, potted jade plant. I was very into plants at that time.
"Thank you, Grandma," I said to her blissed out form. Really, she was loaded. Not present at all. "Thank you, Grandma," I repeated. She never looked at me. I gave up.
Then, when the dinner dishes were cleared, I went into the living room to sit with my dad and uncle. None of the menfolk ever helped in the kitchen ... Grandma had just told me barely a month ago that I was noisy and inept ... and she didn't seem to notice I existed anyway, so why bother?
The next day -- CHRISTMAS, mind you -- she called and tore into my mother. Who turned around and tore into me. I was rude. I never thanked Grandma for the plant (which she "paid good money for"). I didn't help in the kitchen. I'm ungrateful. I don't care about anyone or anything but myself.
Thank God we didn't all have to gather together again until Easter.
This was not an isolated incident. As the old comedians liked to say, "I got a million of 'em." So now you know why I am very happy to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with friends, not family. Being with my friends in the Keys is like wrapping myself up in an eiderdown quilt, whereas being with family feels like being scraped with sandpaper.
I don't want to hear that you take up two seats because you are claustrophobic. You take up two seats because you are rude.
By taking two seats when you paid for one, you are stealing. Oh yeah, I forgot, you're "claustrophobic." So if you're lactose intolerant, you get to take two cartons of almond milk for the price of one? No, that would be stealing. Just like you're stealing when you take up two seats after paying for one.
You're just rude. Embrace it. Admit it. Then change it.
1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends. First, see some of the big year-end movies. Second, try on my jeans and see which ones fit and throw those that don't into the Goodwill box. Third, take that box to Goodwill. Fourth, write up Christmas cards for my coworkers (I've already mailed by personal cards). Fifth, update my pedi.
2. What color are your pants? White. (I'm still in my nightie.)
3. Favorite motivational quote.
4. When was the last time you drank coffee? I can't even recall when it was, but I hated it and vowed never to do it again. And I haven't.
5. What was the last thing you ate? It was last night. I ate way too many sweets at my movie group's Christmas party. Chocolate chip cookie? Cinnamon roll? I don't remember which was last.
6. Favorite animal. Cats. Specifically my cats, Joey and Reynaldo and Connie.
7. Favorite song. It changes. Right now, it's "Christmas Holiday" by Andy Williams. If you ask me again on January 2, the answer will be different. But this time of year, I'm all Andy.
8. Last movie you watched? The Bishop's Wife. (See post below)
9. Any turn ons? Of course.
10. Any turn offs? Of course.
11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head. Train, TV, toys, tree. (Not big enough fer ya? Sorry!)
12. What are some meaningful movies? Good goobies, there are so many. Bonnie & Clyde, because it's about America's love affair with money and celebrity. Mary Poppins, because it's about charity and acceptance and love. A Hard Day's Night, because it gives us a credible version of the lads' personalities and shows them in concert at the end. The Way We Were, because it illustrates the importance of, "to thine own self be true." I could go on, but I'll spare you.
13. 2 most important people in your life right now? My incommunicado and very troubled oldest friend is top of mind. And my friend John is very dear.
14. What are 3 things you want for Christmas? I don't want things. I just want an uneventful trip to Key West, to find my friends down there happy and healthy, and to have a pleasant holiday.
15. When was the last time you read a good book? I really loved The Voice, the first volume of James Kaplan's massive study of Frank Sinatra. His life was filled with love, hubris, lust, loss -- and he poured it all into his singing. Soon I'll start on volume 2, The Chairman, which was my Christmas present to myself.
16. What was the last thing you studied? Hmmm .... I suppose that would be FDR. I was inspired by the 2014 Ken Burns PBS series and researched him more.
17. Do you have any nicknames? Yes
18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.) Sweet spicy. My favorite of all time is Black Pearls, but alas, it's been discontinued.
19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state? Out of state? Yes. International? No.
20. What is something unique that you do every single day? Lately I've been watching old game shows, like What's My Line? I love how elegant it was! The women panelists wore gowns. The men in the audience wore ties. It was the 50s, but it feels like it's from a galaxy far, far away.
21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called? Let's call it The Gal Herself.
22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone? I ordered two vintage magazines (Photoplay from 1964 and 1969) for my oldest friend's Christmas gift.
23. Are you a shopaholic? Yes
24. What are some songs that always make you feel better? "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire. "You've Got a Friend" by James Taylor. "She Loves You," by the Lads from Liverpool.
December 16: The hardest person to buy for
43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? My Giordano's order. I'm sending two frozen deep dish pizzas to my friends in the Keys. There's much that's wonderful about Key West, but the pizza situation down there is pathetic.
1)
In this song, Chuck E.'s friends look for him at the pool hall and the
drugstore. If we want to find you on a Saturday afternoon, where should
we look? This weekend, I'm getting my holiday pedi. Revlon 590 Trendy. It's the first time I've moved out of the pink/red realm into teal. Time to broaden my horizons!
Life just feels weird these days. It's spooky warm for mid-December. The rest of the country is all about Donald Trump, but that blowhard feels barely relevant with everything that's going on here. Protestors are disrupting the Loop, and streets are being closed to traffic as the police try to keep the peace.
I had to go to Target anyway to get Gerber baby food for Joey.* There I found this absolutely awesome display of tiny Our Generation puppies. Each is barely 4" tall and fits easily in your hand. I bought two and deposited them into the Walgreens box. It felt good. I like imagining the little one who connects with their tiny new puppy on Christmas.
At 6:10, she texted me that she'd be there "in a minute." She rolled in at 6:20. I didn't have time to finish my sausage and mushroom risotto. (Too bad, because it was delicious.) She also wasn't terribly present. I wanted to talk to her about my poor old tomcat, Joey. I thought she'd be receptive because in 2012, I went through the death of her beloved Max with her. She wasn't interested in letting me talk about it. Instead she wanted to gossip about a woman we both know. I felt dismissed. Like an after thought.
December 9: Easiest person to buy for
