I hate the Trayvon Martin case

An unarmed teenage boy is dead. Shot while en route to his father's house. And it appears that no laws have been broken.

The armed neighbor who admits pulling the trigger was asked by the authorities to stay in his vehicle and he didn't. Apparently that's not against the law, either.

I do not envy the jury. This case is completely awful. It's very possible that, for them, doing their duty and following the law will mean not doing the thing that feels right.

There are those who believe this case is about race. From where I sit, it's about guns. It's been my experience that the people who want to carry guns are the very ones I wish couldn't.

I hate guns.

Obsessing and cyberstalking

I'm the one who's doing both.

My best friend from high school, Judy, was unusually close to her older sister. I spent a lot of time with the woman over the years, too, and while my relationship with Big Sis wasn't always smooth I always admired her. Therefore I was sad to learn that she had suffered a massive heart attack and was being kept alive by machines until she was strong enough to endure hours of surgery.

I learned this completely by accident. Judy and I haven't spoken in 25 years. The story of our rift is complicated. If you feel like reading it, click here.

Today was Big Sister's surgery. Judy is maintaining a blog on the hospital's "Caring Bridge" wehsite, and both she and her sister's partner have been updating Facebook. I have been checking the sites obsessively for updates.

I am happy to report that Big Sis Carol came through surgery and, though she's not out of the woods, this critical first step went well.

I also learned that Judy is as I remembered her, and I am glad that I chose not to reach out to her.

While Carol's long-time lover, Bill, posted photos of Carol and thanks for prayers. Judy posted in exasperation on her Facebook (didn't she already tell us that her updates would appear on the hospital's Caring Bridge blog?) and keeps mentioning that Carol and Bill are going to need help with their rent and utilities. She's working on getting a special fund set up at Chase. This bothers me because, after college, when Judy was unable to work, it was Carol she lived with and Carol who supported her.

In short, Bill's posts are about Carol and Judy's posts are about Judy.

Judy was like that when we were kids. She was like that in 2008 when she tried to reconnect out with me. In her world, her interests and desires supersede everyone else's. Judy is a complicated person -- having suffered from agoraphobia and myriad health problems. Explaining her behavior does not excuse it, though, and I'm not interested in getting enmeshed in all that again. So while my first impulse is to pitch in and help, I'm resisting out of self-protection.

Carol will stay in my prayers. She played a role in my growing up and I respect that. But I'm going to continue sending my positive thought anonymously.

I won't forget Nailah Franklin

This beautiful young woman was killed in 2007. It will be six years ago this September! And the man arrested for her murder -- a former boyfriend who threatened to have her "erased" -- is still sitting behind bars, no trial date set. I refuse to use his name in this post, but if you want to read more about the case, click here.

I prefer instead to concentrate on Nailah. I never met her, but our lives intersected. The advertising agency she once worked for is just up the street from the one where I work, and after she went missing, her heartbroken coworkers were on the el platforms, leafletting and making sure we were all familiar with their friend's face, her car and her license plate.

The search for Nailah was big news for over a week, but then her body was found, a suspect was arrested, and life went on.

But I haven't forgotten. I have an old lover in my past who mistreated me physically, so when I read about the suspect's arrest it stirred deep feelings in me. I was also moved by how much former her coworkers loved her, how hard they worked on her search. Nailah Franklin must have been very special. And so, in tribute ...

Nailah Franklin was one of 5 daughters.

She graduated first from Homewood Flossmoor High School and then the University of Illinois.

She spent 5 years at the prestigious ad agency, Leo Burnett.

She moved to Eli Lilly in 2006 because she believed a sales job would help give her greater control over her finances and career.

She loved "all things Oprah."

She loved clothes and had a terrific sense of fashion.

Her mother told the Tribune that she wondered why Nailah "always seemed to be in such a hurry to live life. I think her spirit knew she had such a short time on this Earth and she had to cram in as much living as possible."

An older sister remembers her "little baby voice that she never grew out of, but she was bold and spirited, headstrong and beautiful."

Her father recalls "an exceptionally smart woman" and says that not a day goes by that he doesn't miss her.

A younger sister smiles when she remembers CD/DVD collection because "it was such a reflection of her -- a combination of old school songs by Luther Vandross and Tae Bo exercise DVDs."

Her youngest sister tried to follow Nailah to Urbana but she wasn't accepted. She treasures Nailah's words of encouragement as she applied to other schools. "When we learned she had died, I considered quitting the nursing program. But I remembered how much she believed in me and I thought it was important to keep going."

She volunteered at the Chicago Urban League.She was eulogized as "not a star, but a superstar."

She was just 28 when she died.

Sunday Stealing

The Wackadoo Meme

1.] What age is your youngest aunt?  Between 65 and 70.
 
2.] Do you miss someone right now?  Oh, yes.

3.] What can you see North West to you? A framed illustration of Lombard Street in San Francisco.

4.] Do you like bowling?  Don't hate it.

5.] Can you pronounce Italian words? Well enough to order at La Cantina.

6.] Do you prefer black or beige coloured jackets? What else am I wearing and where are we going?

7.] Do you own a hoodie?  Nope

8.] Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? Well, I've done it. Which is more than I can say for roasting chestnuts on an open fire.

9.] Do you like cheesy puffs?  Sure.

10.] What's your name without vowels?  Thglhrslf

11.] How many layers of clothing are you wearing?  Layer one: Undies  Layer two: shorts and t-shirt

12.] When was the last time you got a take away? What did you have?  Boston Market. Sliced turkey and some way yummy sides. My love for their hot cinnamon apples borders on the obsessive.

13.] If you could climb any mountain or range which would you choose?  Ouachita Mountain in Hot Springs, AR. It's beautiful up there.

14.] Do you alphabetically arrange anything in your room? What? My books. Because I have a lot of books and it would be impossible to find anything otherwise.

15.] Have you ever visited fat-pie [dot] [com]? Well, inspired by this question I just did. 

16.] Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet

17.] Do you like Flo Rida? Which song of his? Not familiar with the man or his music.

18.] How are your dancing skills?  I suck

19.] What is your favorite number?  7 or 22

20.] Describe your best friend to me?  Just a shade under 6', with dark hair that's going gray too fast. He tries very hard to do the right thing. He loves his daughters and is a good and thoughtful dad. Because I respect his opinion so much, it makes me happy that he finds much in me that's admirable.

21.] What is your favorite alcoholic drink? It changes. Lately I've become reacquainted with Jose Cuervo.

22.] Do you do any sports or have you done any sport professionally? HA!

23.] What is your ringtone?  Fleur de Lis for calls, an annoying honk for texts.

24.] Do you like chilli flavoured chips/crisps?  No, thank you.

25.] Do you curl or straighten your hair? No

26.] What's the nicest smell of shampoo? Fruity

27.] What smell turns you on? How about turns you off?  Cinnamon apple turns me on; tobacco smell turns me off

 
28.] Who's your favorite comedian? He's my favorite motivational speaker, too.



29.] RnB or Reggae? R&B

I don't like plane crashes

Obviously. I mean, no one likes plane crashes.

So I should have said, "Plane crashes terrify me." Or, more accurately, "NOTHING scares me more than the thought of a plane crash."

And there was one today. In San Francisco. Lives were lost. I feel bad that instead of thinking about the victims, I am fixating on my own fear. Plus it's stirred vague feelings of hopelessness and depression.

My oldest friend had to put her cat to sleep. I haven't seen/won't see my best friend. The sister of an old high school friend has been on life support for nearly a week now.

I had such high hopes for accomplishment today, and then I let myself get deflated. I cleaned out the area under one of my dressers, filling a trash bag and taking it to the dumpster, but that's it.

I need to listen to His Lordship (in his Grammy-winning performance) and "Accentuate the Positive":
•  My cats Joey and Charlotte are both so charming, loving and dear. Reynaldo has been making progress, too.
•  I get along so well with my friend John and celebrating with him last night reminds me again of the value of long-standing friendships.
•  Tomorrow is a free day and another opportunity for me to accomplish more.
•  The Cubs upped their game and beat the fantabulous Pirates.
•  It completely melts me when Paul adds an "r" and sings about "Joner and the whale."




Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Dedicated to the One I Love

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1) The lyrics include the line, "Love can never be exactly what we what it to be." Are you happy with your love life?  HA!

2) Another lyric is, "Each night before you go to bed, whisper a little prayer for me." Do you say your prayers?  I talk with God every day but it's more like an ongoing conversation, rather than clasping my hands and going down on my knees in prayer.

3) Mama Michelle and Papa John were married in real life. It didn't end well -- not for the couple and not for the band. Do you believe you could work successfully with a romantic partner? I actually tried this and it didn't work well. For the most part, he and I were fine with it. Our coworkers were very uncomfortable, though. He and I would be talking about something, someone else would come in and then back away with an embarrassed, "OH! Sorry!" As though we were about to do it on the desk and they interrupted. Also, our supervisor used to not-so-subtly manipulate me into helping her manage him. So while I think a partner and I might be able to run our own mom-and-pop business together, add a third person to the mix and suddenly there's a passel of weird.

4) After the band broke up, Michelle tried her hand at acting and eventually became a regular on the nighttime soap, Knott's Landing. Of course, she could live off of her music royalties while she learned her new craft. If money was no object, what career would like to try? I'm good with animals, so I'd like to try being a pet sitter or dog walker.

 
5) There is a rumor – completely false – that Mama Cass died while eating a ham sandwich. Can you name another urban legend? Jerry Mathers (Beaver Cleaver) was killed in Vietnam. Which, of course, is as true as the Mama Cass/ham sandwich story.

6) In the 1960s, every high school girl wanted to wear her hair like Michelle and Cass -- long and straight. Can you recall a fashion trend from your school days? FRINGE! Especially fringed purses and vests. I recall braiding and rebraiding the fringe on a purse just like this one when I was bored in class.

7) With the Fourth of July falling on Thursday, are you able to enjoy a looooong four-day holiday weekend? It was a little weird to have Thursday off, work on Friday and be off again this morning. In fact, many of my coworkers took yesterday off to enjoy four uninterrupted days. But since I may be losing my job soon, I'm hoarding vacation days so I can get paid for them along with my severance.

8) Many communities have parades to celebrate Independence Day. Have you ever ridden on a float or marched in a parade? In junior high, I marched in the local July 4th parade with my Girl Scout troop. In high school I helped build homecoming floats by stuffing colored paper into chicken wire, but I didn't ride.

9) In honor of the Fourth of July, name your favorite Founding Father. I'm going to go with John Adams because he gave us Abigail. Abigail Adams completely rocked.  

SHOUT OUT TO KATHY W: I can't comment on your blog because Google Chrome or Plus or whatever won't let me log in. But I read your answers and now fear you because, well, you "know shit." :)

Ah, the good old days!

This evening my friend John and I went out to celebrate his birthday. We had drinks at his place and he seemed to really like his gift -- The TCM Natalie Wood Collection. (We love Nat.) Then we went to the Fireplace Inn for dinner and ate way too much heavy food. But it was so good!

We wandered around the old neighborhood for a bit. John has lived there for nearly 30 years, so we have seen a lot of changes together.

Then I hopped in a cab, made the 9:40 train and was in the front door by 10:00. Has it been that long since 10:00 was when we were just getting started?

On my day off ...

I had promised myself that I'd spend my July 4th being productive: primarily, cleaning out and organizing my bedroom. I didn't get anywhere near as much done as I wanted to (lazy, lazy, LAZY) but let's take a moment to review what I did do --

•  Discovered Castle. I don't watch this show regularly and can never remember when it's on. But there was a marathon on TNT and I enjoyed it. The mysteries are kinda "eh," but I enjoy the interplay because Castle and Kate, and Castle and his daughter and mother. One thing I found confusing -- he's a best-selling author, and single, and really attractive. So why is SHE the one with the outside relationships, making HIM jealous?

•  Divested myself of a stack of magazines that had been sitting, untouched, in my bedroom. Including a Playboy from 1977. That gave me a moment's pause. Why did I even have it, much less what was it still doing in my room all these decades later? It included a long, sad article about the death of Freddie Prinze, who I had a major crush on back in the day. It also featured an interview with Robert Blake. It might be interesting to read what he had to say then, knowing what we know about him now. The magazine also might earn me something on eBay. But I threw it out anyway. I was afraid if I let myself get distracted by it, I'd lose more hours of my day.

•  I finally hemmed the jeans I got for crazy cheap from Old Navy. It occurs to me that if I never wear them, they aren't really a bargain after all.

•  Threw that light blue blouse I wore last week and discovered was now too short (I think I may have dried it too many times at too warm a setting) into a bag for Goodwill. Then I added a trio of t-shirts that I bought online and found too thin and too tight. I stupidly lost the receipt and can't return them, so perhaps a smaller busted woman might enjoy them.

•  I went to Boston Market and used my coupon for a family meal for 3 for $10. I have refrigerated those yummy sides and will spread them out over the weekend. The sliced turkey's not bad, either, but it's the creamed spinach, hot apples and sweet potatoes that have captured my imagination. (Yes, I know they're starchy and calorie laden, but the deal I made was to watch what I eat Mon-Fri.) And it will spread out my grocery budget.

•  Ran to Walgreen's for a bottle of bleach and got verbally abused by a helmet-haired old biddie. I called her a "bitch," and I'm not sorry.

•  I did three loads of wash: mixed, darks and my freshly-bleached whites. So that's two hours I can spend doing something else this weekend.

•  Watched the Cubs play the Oakland As in Oakland. They lost yesterday but it was a close game and the boys have done very well in interleague play this year. This road trip was entertaining, too, with my heroes winning 6 of 10.

•  Fought a little with Reynaldo. Of course. As the vet explained it to me, having me home gets him worked up, as protecting me and interacting with me seems to be his furry reason for being. When he gets too wired, I have begun locking him alone in the bedroom for a while. And the Scat Mat has an impact -- he's so upset that he runs away in horror when I touch it. But he sleeps right next to me, quietly, for hours at a time. I can't tell you what a relief it is that we're making this work. I take my responsibility to him seriously. I adopted him. I took him on. I'm the human, I have opposing thumbs, the responsibility is mine, not his.

Doing it old school

I found out through Facebook that a once close, highly disappointing, former friend is suffering through a family tragedy. The last member of her nuclear family -- an older sister she is very close to -- suffered a massive heart attack. "She is on machines to keep her alive in hopes she strengthens enough for open heart surgery to replace mitral valve. Please pray for her."

And so I did.

Growing up with Judy, I naturally knew her older sister. I am genuinely sorry this is happening. I've learned that massive heart attacks are hideously painful and life changing, and I wouldn't wish one on anyone. I humbly ask God to help her be comfortable.

I find it ironic, though, that Judy beseeched the Facebook community to pray for her sister. For Judy and Carol were among the first people I ever met who made me feel as though my conventional approach to religion was small minded and naive. 

But that was decades ago. Life kicks all our asses, I guess, and it's at times like this we return to God. It's His gift to us that we're always welcome back.

A big, heaping serving of corn

Yeah, I know it's corny. But it gets me every time. Ever since I was a little girl. I used to worry that I'd miss this number when we went to the fireworks. Yes, I'd rather be indoors watching him dance up the wall than at the park with my family watching the village fireworks. (Of course, that might have more to do with my father bitching about everyone and everything en route to and from the event, but that's something I'd rather not dwell on today.)

Enjoy your 4th!

She shouldn't get to me

A really rude old biddie snapped at me today at Walgreen's and made me sad. It's the same store where a pushy younger man snapped at me a couple Easters ago.

Must remember not to go to Walgreen's on holidays. People are not at their best.

Let it ride!

I just won $3 in the Illinois Lotto. I reinvested it more lottery tickets.

Balance of Power

It's not optimal, but the way the local food pantry works is that it's open for donations during the very hours that they distribute the groceries to neighbors in need. On the one hand, I think it's good -- important, even -- that I see the faces of those who benefit from my contributions because it is a community funded charity that serves this neighborhood and I should know and be sensitive to who it is that's in need.

On the other hand, it's always awkward. I pass people on the stairwell who are there to pick up the food I'm dropping off. We always avert our eyes. On occasion, people have been rude. I don't like it, but I have learned it's not unusual for people to feel hostility toward those they find themselves dependent on.

Likewise, last evening on the train, an oddly dressed woman sat down beside me. It wasn't that her clothes were mismatched or dirty, it's that they were inappropriate for the first day of July. Too many layers. She was intrusively chatty, asking about my day and the book I was reading. Then she told me she was homeless and off to a shelter that would charge her to stay for the night. Oh, so she was wearing most of the clothes she owned. That explained it! She didn't ask me for money -- I gave her what change was in my pocket. That was the point, after all, and her stop was coming up soon. But once I gave her the silver, she looked away, and quit speaking to me. I did wish her luck as she left the train and she thanked me, but ....

We were both embarrassed. I wish it wasn't that way. Who knows? Someday I might need help, and I hope that someone comes through with it.

No guilt today!

Some evenings, while I'm on the el platform, waiting for the train, I gaze into the health club windows and feel bad as I watch the legs pedaling through spin class. Well, tonight I won't have to feel a bad. Not even a wee bit.

For I got July off to a good start by both working out and bringing my lunch. Healthy and economical, that's me!

Loved it!

I so enjoy going to the movies but this summer, so far the only one I've seen is Leo's turn as Gatsby, and I really didn't enjoy it. So I'm happy to report that The Heat is a rollicking good time.

Sandra Bullock is charming and very funny. She's not afraid to look silly, and her willingness to be unlikeable only makes her more endearing.

Melissa McCarthy is a riot. Because she's such a physical comedienne it's easy to overlook her way with dialog. The way she tosses off, "Was he a hearing man?" literally made me laugh out loud.

The theater was packed, which made me happy. It's good to see a movie starring two women bringing in the box office dollars the way The Man of Steel or Monsters University do.

But beware -- this is NOT a chick flick. It's vulgar and very violent. I spent much of the last half hour wincing and looking away.

Sunday Stealing

The Summertime Meme

1.) What first tells you that Summer is here? Forget the calendar. For me, it's summer when I can get away with sandals and don't have to deal with socks.

2.) Name your five of your favorite distinctively Summer habits or customs. Maintained pedicure, sandals, beer, visit to Wrigley Field, frozen yogurt at the local stand

3.) What is your favorite smell of Summer?  Barbecue

4.) What is your favorite taste of Summer? Barbecue

5.) Favorite Summer memory? I have so many that revolve around Wrigley Field.

6.) Extreme heat or extreme cold? Which would you choose and why? I hate hot weather. Because I hate it, that's why. (Hot weather makes me grumpy. Don't fuck with me.)

7.) What books do you plan to read for the season? Right now I'm reading The Lost Husband. Next up is Bad Dog: A Love Story.

8.) What is your favorite part of summer? Singing "Go, Cubs, Go."

9.) What's your favorite quintessentially summer food? Least favorite? Favorite: barbecue. Least favorite: cantaloupe.

10.) Best beverage to beat the summer heat: Beer

11.) Least favorite/most annoying thing related to summer? Hot weather. Really, anything over 85º is excessive and in extremely bad taste.

12.) Pick one: the lake /the beach. I don't understand this question, in that I've never been to a lake that was surrounded by pavement. When you have a lake, you have a beach, don't you?

13.) Most amusing summer vacation trip you've ever taken? I don't travel over the summer. I visit friends in FL at Christmastime and take off by myself in the spring.

14.) Most ridiculous/cringe-inducing/blush-provoking summer outfit you have seen? (Bonus points if you yourself were wearing it!) Nothing specific comes to mind, although the thing that makes me cringe and look away is when people with white, cracked heels and thick, yellow nails insist on wearing sandals. Put a sock on it!

15.) Your absolute dream summer afternoon would be Sitting behind home plate at Wrigley Field.

16.) If you could go anywhere on summer vacation where would you go? I think it would be great fun to experience my hometown of Chicago like a tourist. Hit a museum or two, people watch at Navy Pier, stroll Oak Street at dusk and collapse into a really nice hotel, like the Whitehall, for a shower and then room service while wearing a nice, fluffy robe. Sigh. The only thing that keeps me from doing it right now is $$$. Maybe next year.

SHOUT OUT TO KATHY W: I do read your entries every week and you always make me smile. However, Google Plus or Google Chrome or whatever won't let me log in so I can't comment. Sorry. (And sorry about "the incident" on the boat.)

Woke up and found myself looking at Paul Newman (ca 1966)

Got up very early this morning and dropped a small bag of groceries off at the local food pantry before taking Reynaldo to the vet. When we got home I was exhausted. So I lay down on the new futon (just for a minute) and woke up more than an hour later to Paul Newman.

Harper is one of my favorite Newman movies. I know it's not art. No one in the movie is especially noble and yet many characters are very likeable, which presents something of a conundrum, morally. But it's very unselfconsciously funny -- thanks to Newman's innate charm and William Goldman's slick, smartassy script.

After the movie I did my grocery shopping (and even though I had a list I still forgot stuff -- stuff I forgot to put on the list!) and now I'm watching the Cub game and doing laundry (this week I'm bleaching my whites). And drinking a margarita. Feeling very zen. Tequila will do that.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Suit and Tie

Thanks to Bankerchick for suggesting JT 

 
1) When was the last time that you got dressed up, or to borrow from Mr. Timberlake, "fixed up to the nines?" I don't even remember. I'm not kidding. It's been decades.

2) Justin Timberlake is known for his threads. Do you try to keep up with fashion trends? Well, I try to dress appropriately. Often what's fashionable isn't right for me any more.

3) While on tour, Justin has a cigar roller on call so that he and the band can enjoy a "gentleman's club" atmosphere back stage. Do you enjoy the smell of a good cigar? Yech. No.
4) Justin appeared on Star Search when still in grade school, and he's been working ever since. When Crazy Sam was that age, her only "job" was to load the dishwasher and for this she earned her $1/day allowance. Did you work when you were a kid? I babysat when I was in high school. Wish I still could. How great to get paid for eating potato chips and watching TV.

5) JT has appeared several times on Saturday Night Live, a show that premiered before he was born. Who is your most favorite ever SNL castmember of all time? Wasn't she something?



6) Justin is a very good golfer (6 handicap). Will you play this summer? Only at a course that will require me to putt the ball past a windmill.

7) A round of golf requires hours outside in the elements. Have you ever endured a painful sunburn? God, yes! The last really punishing one I got was during a sunny afternoon at my uncle's summer cottage. I blame santgria for clouding my judgement to the point where I didn't know when to come in from the sun.

8) When they were young, Justin dated Britney Spears. Obviously, it's been easy for him to keep up with her successes and problems over the years. Do you wonder how one of your exes is doing? Yes. There's a lovely man I loved once and I hope he's happy.

9) Ever since his days with N'Sync, Justin Timberlake has supported music education. Did your grade school offer music classes? If so, do you remember any of the songs you learned then?

We learned this for Parents' Night:

"He always sings ragtime music to his cattle 
As he swings back and forth on his saddle
On his horse, a pretty good horse, that syncopated gaiter
And it's such a pretty meter to the roar of his repeater
How they run when they hear his guns a comin'
Cuz the Western folks all know ...
He's a high-faluting
Rootin' Tootin'
Son of a gun from Arizona
Ragtime Cowboy, talkin' about your cowboy, Ragtime Cowboy Joe!"

We swayed, snapped our fingers in time and were totally hitsville!

 

Weary

Nothing is wrong, really.

•  I believe my recent work has been well received.

•  Reynaldo still has his moments -- today he was most definitely threatening to pee on last week's PEOPLE magazine -- but he is definitely better behaved than he was a month ago.

•  My attorney is crafting a letter to my older sister, in which he will carefully and professionally advise her to stop being such a stupid bitch. The letter she wrote to me last week was so bad that he refuses to formally represent her in any ongoing or future matters regarding our mother's house -- which means if she wants representation she will have to hire her own, on her own dime. While I'm sorry it's come to this and I don't wish her ill, I did find it satisfying that he found her awful. I mean, when our mom was alive, just about everything she did was overlooked or forgiven in order to maintain peace and she had tacit permission to treat me any way she wished. It's interesting to see her through an outsider's eyes and hear that my perceptions aren't off -- she is a stupid bitch.

•  The Blackhawks victory rally was today. I'm not a hockey fan, but it was exciting to see the parade run past my office building and I was happy for the faithful who have been singing "Chelsea Dagger."

Yet I find myself feeling so tired, so worn out by all of it. I'm still not comfortable at work and I

worry about my financial future. Today I had to return even more paperwork to the lawyer -- a notarized affidavit that states how many "heirs" my mom left -- and it's always depressing to fill out her vital stats (died on Sept. 13, 2012 at age 77).

And you know what's awful? I was worried as I worked my way through the crowds to get to the office today and I was nervous while the Hawks rally was going on. I kept thinking of how easy it would be for someone to set off a backpack bomb, a la Boston. After 9/11, I imbued Mayor Richard M. Daley with supernatural powers to keep us safe. But Daddy's Gone and so is some of my innocence and blind faith in these things. What happened at the Boston Marathon could have happened at the rally today, or at Taste of Chicago next month, or at any Cub game.

I feel like I'm living in a cold new world and I don't like it.

My oldest friend tells me to "Let go and let God." Yeah, yeah. That's very weak tea because it feels irrelevant to my personal relationship with Christ. For while I know Jesus loves me and wants what's best for me, I also know that He has promised me eternal life, NOT a smooth ride en route. I have free will, and He expects me to do my best during the tough times.

And so I continue to muddle through. Clinging to my faith, my cats, my books and my friends. Taking naps and being nice to myself. And watching the Cubs whenever I can because I'm always happier when I have baseball.

Image courtesy of Stock Images / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Thursday Thirteen #227

 

THIRTEEN COVER SONGS

 I LIKE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINALS

 

I admit it -- I stole this idea shamelessly from Kwizgiver.  The order is simply reflects how the songs came to me.

1) Solitary Man. Johnny Cash. Originally by Neil Diamond

2) Emotion. Destiny’s Child. Originally by Samantha Sang

3) River. James Taylor. Originally by Joni Mitchell. 

4) Money. The Beatles. Originally by Barrett Strong

5) You Don’t Know Me. Jann Arden.  Originally by Eddy Arnold

6) Me and Bobby McGee. Janis Joplin. Originally by Kris Kristofferson

7) Dedicated to the One I Love. The Mamas and the Papas. Originally by the Shirelles

8) Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. Diana Ross. Originally by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

9) Both Sides Now. Judy Collins. Originally by Joni Mitchell.

10) Always Something There to Remind Me. Naked Eyes. Originally by Dionne Warwick

11) Stoney End. Barbra Streisand. Originally by Laura Nyro.

12) New York, New York. Frank Sinatra. Originally by Liza Minnelli.

13) Twist and Shout. The Beatles. Originally by the Isley Brothers.

For more about the Thursday 13, 
or to play along yourself, click here.

I'm good at this job

We presented concepts for The Big Project I began last Monday. We received client feedback this afternoon. Of the four we shared, two were chosen -- and both were mine.

Thank you, thank you very much.

My city is very happy this morning

Good for you, Blackhawks! This Cub fan can only imagine your joy.

Fourteen! That's more than a dozen!

That's how many runs the Cubs scored today within the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field. And I was there!

My friend Kathleen, her newly-graduated daughter and I sat in upper infield seats, out of the sun and in sight of the ivy and the iconic scoreboard.

The ball was flying off Cub bats and out of the park and it became such a route that I lost track of who was pitching for us after the 7th. So Kathleen, her daughter and I were just blabbing off and on for the last two innings.

We talked a lot about my work situation and Kathleen reassured me that if anything goes wrong and I lose my job, she'll do whatever she can to provide me with safety net of freelance work.

Her daughter was neat to talk to, since she is in that nether world between child and adult. She's off to school out east this fall to begin studying veterinary medicine. She's confident about wanting to get away and eager to learn about conserving endangered species in their natural habitats. Which isn't to say that when she's done, she won't be looking at spaying and neutering dogs and cats, but right now, that's her dream.

And I can't tell you how good it is for me to go to Wrigley Field. I have no bad memories attached to that place. None. Everything is good -- with family and friends and players that I have loved like friends and family. It is, for me, the happiest place on earth. I am a Cub fan, and I belong at Wrigley Field

Sunday Stealing

IF I WON 100 MILLION DOLLARS.... 

What kind of car would you buy?  I wouldn't. Very bad investment. A new car is worth less when you pull off the lot than it was a moment before. Then there's gas and insurance. No, thank you. I'd trade up from public transportation to cabs.

Where in the country would you move to?  I'd stay here, in Chicagoland.

What kind of house would you buy?  I've fantasized about this a lot. If money was no object (and I'm afraid even with $1,000,000, money might be an object to living my dream life), I'd move into the Palmolive Building. It's an restored art deco beauty on Michigan Avenue. I'd have views of Lake from my kitchen and balcony. And a doorman! I'd love to have someone there to sign for my packages and hail my cabs! Bliss!

Would you give your family any money? My niece would have help with her college debts. My nephew would be able to take the class trip to Washington DC he's dreaming about.

What charity would you donate to? The same ones I currently donate to. I'd just be more generous.

Would you give your friends any money? Of course. I'd especially love to help my friends in the Keys because they are good people, but really struggling.

Where would you go on vacation?  I'd love to do New York right. Luxury hotel, good restaurants, best seats at the show.

What luxury item would you buy first? Maybe that trip.

Would it change your life?  In some ways.

Would you save any of it?  Yes, for retirement

Would it change your current relationship? No, since my current relationship is with me.

Would you quit your job? I'd offer to go to part time. I'd love to keep the medical insurance.

Would you ever work again? I'd love to do charity work

What one task would you never do again?  HOUSEWORK!

What dream of yours would you be able to do?  Wake up without worrying about money

Would you change the way you dress? Not really.

Would you change anything about your body?  Well, I'd be in better shape because I'd have a trainer. And there are some superficial cosmetic-y things I'd love to have done.

Would you miss anything about not being rich?  No, because I'd be rich.

Who would be the first person you tell? Maybe my friends in the Keys.

Would it bring you happiness? Not in and of itself. But it would make my life easier.

Party!

Last night I went to the graduation party at my friend Kathleen's. I'd been dreading it. I knew it would be mostly couples -- people I haven't met. I knew my $50/per kid present (a $25 gift card each plus a donation to the Appalachian Service Project, the organization the family is part of and they build/repair houses for those under the poverty line each summer) was smaller than most they would receive.

But I had a wonderful time! It was a welcome respite from the agita caused by my older sister. I fussed over her son, a freshly-minted college graduate whose company I have always enjoyed, ever since I met him a pre-schooler. (Today I'm going to the Cubs game with Kathleen and her freshly-minted high school graduate daughter, so I'll ask her about her life plans then.) I spoke to Kathleen's next door neighbor about her completely charming 5-year-old daughter, who was quite a character. And I got an inspiring pep talk about going out on my own, becoming a freelance writer.

I didn't think about my problems again until I got home. Unfortunately, I woke up this morning with a killer migraine. I must NOT let my sister rob me of happiness like that!

And I have learned yet again the Elizabeth Edwards lesson -- which is to "find solace and strength from friends and strangers." When I feel overwhelmed, my instinct to go off by myself, to appear strong, may not always be the wisest path.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Livin' on a Prayer

1) This song tells the tale of Tommy, who works on the docks, and Gina, who works in a diner. Where do you work? In a large and very nice office building just off Chicago's Michigan Avenue. Unfortunately, my position does not feel very stable and the stress of worrying about money and losing my job is really getting to me.

2) Jon Bon Jovi has said that he and Frank Sinatra are distant relatives. Tell us about one of your relatives. My favorite uncle served in Vietnam. He seldom spoke about the war and when he did, it was in terms of the people he met -- Vietnamese, Thai and fellow servicemen -- never the battles. But he was moved profoundly by the experience over there and spent his free time with the locals, helping to establish an orphanage for Vietnamese children left homeless by the war. When I was a little girl I idolized him because he was fun and funny and imaginative. But as an adult I realize how much he saw and did in his life and I miss him terribly because I'd love to just talk to him again.
 

3) Jon and his high school sweetheart tied the knot in Vegas at the Graceland Wedding Chapel, and they remain married today. When you were in school, who did you fantasize about marrying? Where is that person today? During the summer between my freshman and sophomore years, Joe Pepitone played first base for the Cubs and I developed a desperate crush on him. On sunny days at the public pool, my girlfriends and I would listen to the games on our transistor radio and fantasize about how sexy and glamorous it would be to marry professional ballplayers and I claimed Pepi for my own. Then he was traded and I moved on to Robert Redford. According to a cursory Google search, Pepi now attends a lot of autograph shows in the New York area, where he is referred to as a "Yankee great."


4) The Jon Bon Jovi Soul Foundation is devoted to supplying local food pantries and helping rebuild neighborhoods hit by natural disasters. Here's your opportunity to give a shameless plug to a charity you support. I like Goodwill a lot. They make merchandise available to families on tight budgets and fund job training programs. Each time I have visited my local store -- whether it's to drop items off or to shop -- everyone I meet is pleasant and hardworking. The same cannot be said of Kmart or WalMart.
 

5) Jon is often complimented on his hair. What's the most recent compliment you've received? "You know you can handle whatever comes." In the context of the conversation, it was a compliment.


6) Everyone talks about their favorite vacation spots. But, since Sam is crazy, she wants to hear about a place you visited that you wish never to return to. A resort on a small lake in a small town in Wisconsin. My mother loved it so we went every damn year when I was growing up and it was BORING! Please don't make me go back.


7) When was the last time you played cards with an actual deck (as opposed to on your computer)? What game was it? I don't even remember. I have played Yahtzee, Monopoly and Scrabble for real, on actual boards, with my nephew recently. But I'm coming up blank on card games.

 
8) Do you bite your nails? When I'm bored.

9) Where are you as you answer these 9 questions? What's the view from where you sit? I'm in the living room and can see my pedicured feet and last week's People on the coffee table. (It's embarrassing how much I care about Jennifer Aniston's love life.)