Movie Monday -- Facial Hair

Share on your blog characters in film with memorable beards and or mustaches, linking back here to the Bumbles. (Compiling this week's post was a rather yummy task.)

Brad Pitt as Tristan in Legends of the Fall.

Warren Beatty as McCabe in McCabe & Mrs. Miller.

Al Pacino in Serpico.

Robert Redford as Sundance in Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The "It's All About Four Freakin' Things" Meme
Cheers to all of us thieves!

Four Places I go:

1. Work

2. Grocery store

3. Drug store

4. Coffee shop

Four Crushes I Have:

1. Mark Harmon

2. Johnny Depp

3. Bruce Springsteen

4. Mark Wahlberg

Four Smells that I Love:

1. Cinnamon

2. Lavender

3. Hot apples

4. Bread

Four Favorite TV Shows:

1. NCIS

2. American Idol

3. Morning Joe

4. Law & Order: SVU

Four Favorite Movies:

1. The Way We Were

2. The Godfather

3. Valley of the Dolls

4. Mary Poppins

Four Recommendations:

1. Read O Magazine. There's a ton of content, and even the ads are interesting.

2. Remove caps from plastic bottles and tubes before you recycle, as many are made of a different grade of plastic and can't be recycled.

3. Do at least one charitable act every week for your community. It feels good.

4. Think about Easter, rebirth and miracles today. It's important.

Four People that I'd love to read their Fours:

1. Anyone who

2. visits here

3. deserves a

4. return visit

Four Things about me that you don't know:

1. In high school, I was good at archery

2. I can recite Jenny's big monologue from Neil Simon's Chapter Two: "You know what you want better than me, George. You're the one who knows why we behave as we do and react as we do and suffer guilt and love and hate. You read all those books, not me. But there's one thing I do know. I know how I feel. I know I can stand here, watching you try to destroy everything I've wanted in my life, wanting to smash your face with my fists because you won't make even the slightest effort to opt for happiness, and still know I love you. That's so clear to me. That's where I get all my strength from ..." Believe me yet? Cuz there's more if you demand it.

3. When I was in first grade, I attended a taping of Bozo's Circus.

4. I never believed in the Easter Bunny.


Four bands that I love:

1. The Lads from Liverpool, of course

2. Maroon 5

3. Traveling Wilburys

4.Rascal Flatts


HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!

Profiles in Courage

Reading The Help has been fascinating for me because I grew up in The Land of Lincoln. It's not that there isn't/wasn't racism up here -- I'm not that naive. It's just it wasn't institutionalized and accepted here the way it was in the South.* The adults in my neighborhood gave lip service to racism being "bad" and lowered their voices when talking about "them."

Since the book is set in Jackson in the early 1960s, I knew that the assassination of NAACP officer/civil rights leader Medgar Evers would have to be addressed. It would be like telling a story about Chicago in February 1929 and not mentioning the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Some events define a town and a time. So I anticipated an accounting of the impact the Evers assassination had on the citizens of Jackson. According to author Stockett, life went on in the homes of Jackson's white citizens, regardless of the suppressed heartache and rage felt by the "colored help."

So I did what I do. I went all geeky and looked into the further. I was shocked to see how controversial it was for President Kennedy to allow Medgar Evers to be buried at Arlington Cemetery, with full military honors.

The JFK Library has preserved the telegrams sent to the White House after the announcement. It's shocking to me that people were not embarrassed to bother the President of the United States with their ignorance, that they weren't ashamed to include their full names and addresses!

Arlington is for heroes. Not Evers. Keep Evers out. Rebecca Ratliff. 4424 [street name redacted by blog author]. Baton Rouge, LA

I protest this national disgrace and insult to the heroe buried in Arlington National Cemetery to have the body of Medgar Evers interred therein. This honor should be bestowed only on the deserving and not upon political rabble rousers. Cannot the President and the Congress stop this insult to our national heritage? T. Earl Taylor, DDS, Columbus, GA

It goes on and on.

Also in the file is this telegram, written by Evers to the President early in the same month he died, describing first-hand and in real-time what Skeeter's Jackson was like.

President Kennedy stood by his decision to allow Medgar Evers' burial in Arlington. And four months later he joined him there.

When I think of JBKO and The Beatles and Twiggy, it's easy to romanticize and glamorize the 60s. It was also a hateful, violent time. Riots, assassinations. It's important to remember so that it never happens here again. Sometimes, listening to the birther crap, I get a horrible feeling of deja bloodlust.

* While working on Bill Clinton's national campaigns, I remember being told that this outward, perhaps superficial, civility makes it harder to have an honest conversation about race, the way the Arkansas natives were used to. I don't know, because this is the only place I've ever lived. But it's an interesting topic, isn't it?

What's wrong with me?

All I want to do is sleep. Or nap. Or be lazy. It's our first gloriously sunny day in what seems like forever, and I can hear kids playing outside my window, but I can't make myself move from this spot.

Thursday I spoke to my shrink about this, and HRT. She agrees that it's time to look at the role my meds are playing in my menopausal weight gain and complete lack of energy, because something is out of whack. Next stop: my gynecologist. I'll call for an appointment on Monday. While I'll probably have to wait to get in for my annual checkup, I'm lucky in that he'll listen to me. All three of my doctors -- shrink, gyne and GP -- have been very sympathetic and compassionate. I've heard the horror stories about patients who feel herded in an out of their doctors' offices. I'm fortunate to not be one of those patients.

I don't even drive & I remember this commercial is for Highlander

It's the "help me" that gets me. I WAS that kid!

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Sex as a Weapon

1. Have you or a significant other ever used sex as a weapon? I try not to.

2. Tell us about the worst date you ever went on. A woman that I volunteered alongside had a party. I attended and met her brother, who liked me very much. She told me as much and asked me if he could call me to "hang out." I said, "sure," because I thought he was gay. Um ... he's not. When I realized that what I thought was hanging out after work was a date, it was ... awkward.

3. If you were a god/goddess who would you be? You mean I'm not a goddess already?

4. What crime from history fascinates you the most? Bonnie and Clyde's crime spree. The reality vs. the fable and why it still resonates.

5. Give us one random, but candid fact about you. I hate Seinfeld. I believe I could be the only one on the planet who can say this, but that show has never even made me smile.

6. Who or what makes you laugh until you're weak? My oldest friend. She is a troubled and troubling woman, true, but oh! We do make each other laugh. Even our arguments crack us up. Once, while vacationing in Las Vegas, we had big fight. I was helpfully pointing out her shortcomings as a traveling companion (at the top of my lungs). She responded by asking if I thought I was so easy to travel with, and pointed out that I need to go to the bathroom more often than she does. She said that she wished she could get the time back that she wasted staring at dirty tiles outside of public restrooms in every casino we visited. Then she hissed that if I'd been a Sioux, my Indian name would have been, "Princess Tiny Bladder." I was quiet a moment, absorbing this colorful criticism, and then I started to laugh until I couldn't breathe. I bet she doesn't even remember this story, but it's just one of a million examples of when she's made me lose it.

7. What is the most exciting adventure you’ve ever been part of? Every time I have fallen in love it's felt like an exciting adventure.

8. Among the people you know, who would you choose to be able to read all your thoughts? My best friend. Though sometimes I think he can read my thoughts.

9. How old were you when you realized that other people's families live totally differently from yours? 8 or 9. My older sister was thwacking me repeatedly with her hairbrush and my oldest friend (question 6 above) was quite surprised by the ferocity and length of this treatment. I could see on her face that what I accepted as normal wasn't.

Doesn't look too inviting, does it?

I just turned down a FREE ticket to today's Cub game! But it's 43º, the rain is now a drizzle but the field is still covered in puddles, beer and hotdogs and peanuts are not what this stomach needs today, it's not wise to leave work early for a ballgame the day after I took the day off ...

Do you think I may finally be growing up?

More than a little green around the gills

I was on schedule to make it to the office on time -- which, this morning, was 6:45, so we would have plenty of time to get to our client's downstate office for a 9:15 AM meeting. But right around the California el station, I started feeling ... ummm ... URGENT about getting downtown. I made an unexpected stop on our floor and the ladies' room, and let's say it was obvious a 2 1/2 car ride wasn't a wise undertaking for me this morning.

Fortunately my part in the presentation was pretty small. I don't know if someone else took it over for me or if it was postponed to another day. My coworker, Tom, happened to be up in his office picking up the handouts for today's meeting. I handed him my presentation materials and will find out what happened when I show up at work tomorrow.

I was home, and back in bed, before 8:00 AM. Slept until after 11:00, did laundry, had some soup, and started feeling better. Unfortunately there was no Cub game today. It would have been nice to have my heroes in pinstripes here with me a I recovered from whatever the hell it was.

Thursday Thirteen #120 -- A tribute to Miss Myrna

This Thursday 13 -- my first in years(!) -- has been inspired by the book I'm currently reading, The Help. As one of the most domestically-challenged women to ever draw breath, I was fascinated by the "Miss Myrna" housecleaning Q&A column. So here are 13 common tips I found on the Internet.

These all make sense to me, but try them at your own risk, as you cannot underestimate my knowledge of these matters.

1) Try vinegar to remove hard water stains from coffee pots.

2) Rub baking soda into your stainless steel sink with a nylon sponge to remove stubborn water stains.

3) Granite countertops will look good longer if you use a store-bought cleanser developed especially for this purpose.

4) It's important for your health to keep your refrigerator clean. Regularly remove everything from your frig and wipe the interior with a mix of baking soda and warm water. Wipe it down again, this time with plain water, and let it dry before replacing items.

5) Remember to clean the freezer once a year, too. Turn off the refrigerator and follow the directions that came with your refrigerator.

6) Vacuuming the coils keeps your refrigerator working more efficiently.

7) You can combat build up on glass shower doors with a fine mist of rubbing alcohol and water every day.

8) To reduce soap marks on your bathroom mirrors, switch from bar soap to liquid soap. The typical bar soap includes talc, which causes the residue to adhere to surfaces like tile and mirrors.

9) If you wash your clothes at a laundromat, you may wish to to use a disinfectant wipe on the tub and agitator. Wait at least 90 seconds before adding your laundry.

10) White vinegar is often successful at removing perspiration stains. Dab it directly onto the spots before tossing the garment in your washing machine.

11) Reduce the rub off from new blue jeans by washing them first, and adding a little white vinegar to the water.

12) Regular shampoo can be effective for pre-treating tomato/catsup stains.

13) Towels will remain more absorbent longer if you don't use fabric softener on them.

To find out more about Thursday Thirteen, and maybe participate yourself, click here.

I Want Wednesday

I want to focus on and appreciate the Cubs game. Garza is facing the Padres today and the score is 1-0 in the 4th. Few things lighten my mood more dependably than my heroes in Cubbie blue!

Well, that was dumb

I had the worst hiccoughs in North America this morning, and was worried about offending my fellow commuters. So I popped a Xanax. It relaxed the involuntary reflexes that caused my rhythmic "hic," but it also relaxed me. To a very great extent.

Note to self: Don't take Xanax on a morning when you'll be reviewing a deck on trends in financial marketing. This job can sometimes inspire somnambulism all on its own.

Image: Darren Robertson / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So the phone rings ...

It's my mom. At 9:00 on a Tuesday night. To tell me she's filing for bankruptcy and is worried that by being an authorized user on one of my credit cards* could have a negative impact on my own credit rating.

By filing for bankruptcy, she will have $500/month to help her meet her property taxes, utility bills, etc. My dad died in 1992 and left her with nothing but debt and a small life insurance policy (which went for the funeral). She has $20,000 equity left in the house from her reverse mortgage, social security and whatever I give her each month. That's it.

I already pay her medicare part B insurance premiums and her snow removal and help her with her little gifts -- that's $225/month over the course of a year. My kid sister and brother-in-law don't contribute anything, but they are enormously helpful driving her places and helping her keep up with the house. My older sister, who lives very well in Southern California, no longer gives my mother any gifts at all anymore -- not for her birthday, Christmas, or Mother's Day. She explains this by saying that now that she has remarried, with her new bridegroom approaching retirement, it wouldn't be fair or wise for her to spend money on her family that he doesn't spend on his.

I resent this. Not the money I give to my mother -- she gave me life -- but that my older sister can't see her way to pitching in.

My older sister is coming in to stay with my mom over Memorial Day weekend. I hope that she gets it that my mom needs help, and that my younger sister and I need help with her. My mom's house smells overwhelmingly of cat urine and she needs a new chimney. I have offered to pay my niece (a very industrious young lady) to go over there with a Rug Doctor carpet cleaner but my mom refuses. She's worried the machine will damage the rug. (As if the carpet isn't already ruined by Ethel the Cat's pee.) My brother-in-law is repairing the chimney.

But what about when my mom's refrigerator goes? Or if one of her cats gets ill? By filing for bankruptcy, my mother will be losing her credit cards and it goes without saying that she has no emergency fund.

I am so sick of worrying about money.

Remember the good old days, when the phone rang with good news?

* I had given her permission to charge $25/month on my American Airlines Citi Master Card but she kept going over so we agreed she should cut the card up and I give her gift cards instead.

My conundrum

I am fat. Fatty McPhatterson. Peppermint Fatty. And this book, Between a Rock and a Hot Place, came out at the perfect time for me.

It's about one woman's journey through menopause. And "the change" has unquestionably contributed to my burgeoning waistline.

When I was at the lowest point in my struggle with depression, both my shrink and my GP agreed that the uptick in my downward spiral was tied to a dip in estrogen and my now compromised serotonin delivery system. Because I heard so many horror stories about HRT, I told both of my doctors that I reject it out of hand. So they conferred and agreed I should be on Lexapro. And now I'm fat and happy. Or as happy as I can be, being fat.

So to review this turn of events:

1) I had refused HRT because I have heard about increased risk of cancer and heart disease
2) HRT would have (among other things) helped the moods and bloating
3) The anti-depressant I take contributes to weight gain
4) Bloating contributes to weight gain
5) Weight gain increases risk of cancer and heart disease

So am I not right back where I started from?

I think I shall have to revisit this with my shrink and GP. This time I'll add my gynecologist's opinion to the mix.

Fidgety

I don't know what's wrong with me today. I just can't sit still!

We aren't especially busy. Yes, we have deliverables, but even our art directors (not the most ambitious folks you'll ever meet) feel that we're in very good shape. We're all getting along well -- no tension in our inter-team dynamic. So why am I forever chewing a nail or jiggling a foot?


Image: africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Movie Monday

This week's movie topic is all about Running...

Monday marks the 115th running of the Boston Marathon - the oldest annually contested marathon in the world. In honor of this event, share movies that make your feet tired just watching and link back here.


Blair Witch Project. Remember that band of film makers, wandering around in circles in the forest forever? As the tension grew, even the sound of their tennies breaking fallen twigs was scary.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The 65 Questions Meme
Cheers to all of us thieves!

1. Tell us who the last person that you took a shower with. It was a bath. His name was Scott. It was very romantic.

2. Tell us about your favorite tee-shirt. Extra points if you show a pic. (We know. What can you do with freakin' extra points?) One of my Cubs shirts, it's well-worn, well-loved, and a tribute to the most beautiful place on earth.

3. Has anyone ever hit on you even though they knew you were taken? No.

4. Do you plan what to wear the next day? Not specifically. Just general color. (Blue or black or neutral ...) So I can make sure I'll have the right bag. I don't like to change bags in the morning rush. Something always gets left behind.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Why? Frustrated. Because I think I may be growing a pimple on my chin.

6. What's the closest thing to you that's black? Simply Dusty. It's the hard-cover coffee table book that came with the 4-CD set. I love Dusty Springfield.

7. Tell me about an interesting dream you remember having. Last summer I dreamed that my bathroom was out of commission and I had to shower in a stall with a dirty slat-wood floor and worn shower curtain. According to Dream Moods, this means that at the time I had a need for "self renewal."

8. Did you or might you meet anybody new today? Not yet.

9. If you could be doing anything right now (or perhaps after you finish this ridiculous meme) what would it be? Anything? I'd like Special Agent Leroy Gibbs to apply some Honey Dust.



10. Can you think of a meme question that's never been asked? Which host from The View is the most obnoxious?

11. What comes to mind when I say China? Global economy and debt.

12. Are you overly emotional? I can be. Depends on the situation.

13. If you could listen to just one rock album (CD, vinyl or mp3) which one would you pick? The Beatles White Album.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Lick.

15. Do you like your car? I don't have a car.

16. Do you like yourself? At times.

17. Would you go out to eat with Charlie Sheen? Yes. Because at a restaurant he wouldn't be able to smoke (which he seems to do the way others breathe) and I could ask him about his teeth. Did those missing teeth rot out on their own, did he lose them in a fight or mishap, or did he have to have them all pulled out after the Savoy Truffle?

18. What was the last song that you listened to? "Come Back to Bed" by John Mayer

19. Are (or were) your parents strict? No

20. Have you ever wondered what attending a wild orgy (if only to watch or...) would be like? Yes

21. I say cottage cheese. You say: ICK!

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Bruce Springsteen, but I've told that story here many times. So here's a new one: Tim Russert and I talked about Seymour Hersh's book, The Dark Side of Camelot, and whether something that sensational could be considered journalism. It was at a book signing, promoting Russert's own book (Meet the Press: 50 Years in the Making) and yet he was passionately discussing another book, then currently on the best seller lists. I really appreciated how seriously he took his role as moderator of Meet the Press ... and how nice he was.

23. What was the last movie that you watched at home? Mildred Pierce with Kate Winslet on HBO

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? Nope

25. What countries have you visited? Germany, France, Switzerland, Lichtenstein, Canada

26. Have you ever made a phone call while you were drunk that you've regretted? If yes, do tell. I called the man I consider the great love of my life and left a message that said, "You were the great love of my life. I thought you should know." My friend Kathleen was standing there, she talked me into it, saying anyone would like that kind of closure. I'm not so sure, and my cheeks still get hot at the memory.

27. Where were you going the last time that you were on a train? I was on one Saturday, going to and from the Loop.

28. Bacon or sausage? Bacon

29. How long have you had a cell-phone? Long enough that I'm on my fourth phone. 7 years maybe?

30. What other memes do you do regularly? Saturday 9 and Movie Monday with The Bumbles.

31. Who is the craziest meme host? Why, Bud, of course. I have to snake my way past an "objectionable content" warning just to get to him.

32. Who invented chop sticks? Someone I hate. Can't figure those fuckers out.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? Nobody. It's laundry night. Not an activity people come from miles around to observe.

34. Are you too forgiving? No.

35. When was the last time that you were in love? Please! I hope it wasn't the last time! Can't we say, "most recent" instead?

36. Tell us about your best friend. He has a great deal of personal integrity, he works very hard at being a good dad, and he can make me laugh.

37. What was the stupidest thing you learned in high school? Anything regarding Ahab and madness/obsession. Geez, I hated Moby Dick! Reading that sucker was painful and I never did finish it.

38. What was the last thing that you cried about? I don't remember.

39. What was the last question you asked? "How much do I owe you?"

40. Favorite thing to do this time of the year? Cheer for my Cubs.

41. If you had to get a (or another) tattoo, what would it be? Whatever Gibbs would like licking Honey Dust from.

42. How would your best friend describe you? He says I'm curious, enthusiastic and loyal. I also suspect he finds me difficult at times, though he is smart enough to not say this to my face.

43. Have you ever seen all three Twilight films? No, not a one.

44. Ever walked into a glass door? Once, when I was a little girl.

45. Favorite color on that person that you are attracted to? Green

46. Have you ever slapped someone? Yes

47. What hair style (for you) would you like to see return? Dorothy Hamill's. I rocked that wedge!

48. What was the last CD you bought? I don't remember. Sorry.

49. Do looks matter to you? Yes.

50. Could you ever forgive a liar? I have.

51. What's the hardest bill to pay every month? Well, I resent having to pay for electricity. It's an essential, it's no fun, and it's not like I have a lot of choice about it.

52. Do you like your life right now? Yes

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? Yes

54. Can you handle the truth? It depends on the subject

55. Do you have good vision? No

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Yes

57. How often do you talk on the phone? Daily

58. What celeb would you like to come home to? Mark Harmon, with Honey Dust
59. What are you wearing? A night shirt

60. What is your favorite wild animal? The okapi

61. Where was your facebook picture taken? It's a comic that I stole from somewhere, so I don't know

62. Can you waltz? No

63. Do you have a job? Yes

64. What was the most recent thing you stole? The hearts of my adoring public

65. Have you ever crawled through a window? No

A delicious time was had by all

My niece and I took a guided walking tour of the sweeter side of Chicago. For two hours we moved from shop to shop, visiting restaurants and shops and their kitchens, sampling champagne truffles and chocolate cupcakes and Belgian waffles and crunchy peanut butter cups.

Since she's a budding chef, my niece took it all in like the semi-pro that she is. Me? I just enjoyed the sweets and being in Chicago neighborhoods I don't get to very often. But now that I'm crashing from the sugar buzz, I'd like a nap.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out

1. What is the most “down and out” that you've ever been? When I first moved into my own place, I thought I could get by on what I was making and I was almost right. Then I got a wretched toothache and needed a root canal and a crown. I didn't have dental insurance. I also didn't have enough for the down payment required before I could finance the procedure. I was $160 short. My uncle sent me a check for that amount. (My mom told him of the situation and how worried she was about me.) I called and told him I couldn't accept it because I couldn't pay it back. He said that attitude was why he was willing to give it to me -- he knew I wouldn't take advantage of his generosity.

2. Do you believe there is only one "right" religion? No. I'm a One God -- Many Paths kinda gal.

3. If you could get back in touch with one person you've lost touch with, who would it be and why? There's a former coworker who was really smart and interesting that I drifted away from. I miss him.

4. Has anyone ever held the key to your heart, but did not know it? Yes.

5. If your lover cheated on you and profusely apologized, might you accept them back into your life? I did. There was so much wrong with that misbegotten relationship that I can't honestly say it was his cheating that broke us up. It didn't help, certainly, but he committed many worse sins as well. I was a ninny. Not for accepting him back into my life, for letting him in in the first place.

6. Have you ever gone to work/school drunk or stoned? If yes, do tell. No.

7. Who is your favorite relative? The uncle in question #1. I lost him last November.

8. What annoys you most? Space hogs. Your backpack or grocery bag should not get it's own seat on the el.

9. Tell us of one thing you used to do that you are not proud of. When I was little I picked my nose.

Gone! My babies are gone!

Mozilla took the Firefox Live webcam down on Thursday. The cubs are going to separate zoos -- Spark to Cleveland and Ember to Garden City, KS. They're adults now, and it's time. I know it's time. There were moments over the last few weeks when I almost felt sorry for them because they were getting so big to be in that pen, and with spring coming I nearly agreed that they would be happier outdoors.

And then I thought about how close they were to leaving me, and decided that my selfish needs were more important than the continuation of their species. I needed that daily dose of cute!

That's why it's good that I wasn't in charge of this project. Spark and Ember will probably adjust better to this change than I am. But here, from YouTube, is a video so we can all remember the good times.

Craving

I want salt. I need salt. I must have salt.

Because I am too nice to deny myself anything I want this badly, I have had two little bags of Ruffles with a Fritos chaser.

Let's never let THAT happen again!

I don't know how it happened, but it did. I came to work today without makeup. Didn't notice until I was in the health club, under those awful fluorescent lights, preparing to come back to work. And you can bet I remedied it right quick.

I hope no one was scarred for life by witnessing this sad event.

Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I want to pet them sooooooo bad!

My "office pets," that is. Spark and Ember. They live at the Knoxville (TN) Zoo, but they're mine for as long as firefoxlive.mozilla.org keeps streaming their antics live.

They really are too big for their indoor playroom (much older than when this photo was taken) and I know that soon they'll go into heat and must be let go outdoors to mate and go about their natural lives. I know. I know.

But I will miss them so! During the day, it's been such a delight to watch them romp. Especially Spark. He's the showman who spends more time on the sawhorse in front of the camera. His fur looks sooooo soft.

A good use of $95

This morning I signed up for Reputation.com. This service will request that personal information be removed from sites like spokeo, bing, google, yahoo, etc. It's got a high rating from the Better Business Bureau, so I feel safe about using it. And, though it takes up to two weeks for the service to work it's magic, I'll feel safer about going about my life.

If that's not worth $7.95/month, what is?

I Want Wednesday

I want to feel better. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Physical activity that I barely noticed before is now dreary. Sigh ...

Again

Stephen Doe has contacted me again via Facebook. This time he used the "message" function. It's the same old thing -- he wants to apologize to me, will do so in person if I wish, and hopes I will remember the good times and forgive the others. He closes with, "If you don't want to -- understood." Apparently it's not, though, since this is the fourth time he has tried.

He never was real bright.

He seems frightened of the afterlife, of facing God after what he did to me. And frankly he should be. The thing of it is, he still hasn't learned a thing about selflessness or decency. He still isn't remotely concerned about me and how I feel about this as a woman, as a person, as an individual.

Because this getting forgiveness thing? It's about him. It doesn't matter to him how painful dredging up all this is for me. After more than 20 years! It's unimportant that I'm confused and confounded anew by how much I loved someone who was so unworthy of me. As always, it's about him.

His attitude is not what God has in mind for us, anyway. We aren't supposed to do the right thing because we're afraid of Hell. We're supposed to do the right thing because of the Golden Rule.

Now that he's mentioned coming up to see me (wonder how that will play with the Mrs.?), I am trying not to freak out. He probably won't bother, and even if he does, there's security at both my office and my home.

But I don't want to piss him off either. His temper is memorable, and I don't believe he's changed. So I have channeled my all-time idol, JBKO. I have asked myself, "What would Jackie do?" And I think the answer is to rise above it. Not engage him in any conversation at all, but not block him, either. For if I block him, he could get mad. And by not blocking him, I maintain my plausible deniability. Since neither I nor my friend John (the first avenue Stephen used to try to reach me) have ever answered any of his messages, I can just deny having ever received them. As Jackie would say, not lying but making her point, "One receives so many messages online these days!"

In short, I put on my metaphorical sunglasses and just keep going, keeping to myself and keeping to my own path, living my life my way, continuing to leave him alone until he gets the message and leaves me alone. He doesn't have a place in my life.

10 on Tuesday

Ten Do's and Don'ts for Avoiding Crime

We've had a bit of a crime wave here in town. Women have been separated from their purses between two particular el stops in the wee small hours of Saturday mornings. It's very frustrating to the police because it's obviously one person doing this and somehow they are unable to catch him. Since he sneaks up on his victims from behind and puts them in a chokehold, they are unable to identify him beyond his voice and approximate height. (Because of the hour, they can't be 100% sure of race or size/weight because there's no shadow.)

Anyway, even if you don't live in my village, here are 10 recommendations from the local police department that can help keep you safe.

1) DO obey an offender’s instructions when it’s practical to do so – particularly when they threaten to hurt you. Property can be replaced – you cannot.

2) DO pay attention to your environment and what’s around you.

3) DO keep cash in a separate money clip or pouch so you can hand it over to a criminal without sacrificing credit cards, identification and other important items.

4) DON'T be distracted while walking or waiting for public transportation. Someone listening to music can be enticing to a would-be robber.

5) DON'T carry your purse loosely around your shoulder.

6) DON'T sit alone on a bus or train. If you have to travel alone, sit near a transit employee.

7) On public transportation, DON'T sit with your belongings on the empty aisle seat beside you.

8) DO moderate your alcohol intake. Offenders target those who are most vulnerable.

9) DO walk near the curb, away from shrubbery or bushes.

10) DO walk briskly and with confidence. Suspects look for victims who are in familiar territory.

And let's all be careful out there.

A fine time was had by all

Let's set the Wayback Machine for Sunday. I got together with my friend Kathleen and her husband to drink a bit too much and listen to big band music at a bar one town over.

It was a perfect outing for all involved. Here's why:

• Kathleen loves her husband very much, but he's a difficult guy. Fascinating, unique, and difficult. He never likes anything Kathleen gives him. He pretends to, and then returns it. (If she goes fun, he exchanges it for something practical. If she opts for practical, he'll return it for a movie or a CD. There's no malice involved; he just marches to his own drummer and it's impossible to discern the tune in his head sometimes.) Also, he doesn't really like going out with friends, which makes planning a bash for him hard. Since he is a huge Sinatra fan, big band music seemed like an event tailor-made for him. And, in case he tried to slither out of it at the last minute, Kathleen told him it was important he do it for ME because ....

• The band features my cousin. One I saw for my birthday last November, and not since. Which is a shame because he is a good guy and lives not that far from me. He's been sending me messages on Facebook, letting me know about gigs in my neighborhood. I would like to solidify ties to that side of the family. His mom is my dad's sister, my aunt/Godmother. Since I lost my uncle/Godfather (my mom's brother) shortly after we all got together for the first time in years, it seems like it was meant to be.

• Kathleen's been under quite a bit of stress lately, at work and in her personal life. The projections for her business beyond the third quarter are not good. And right now, both her dad and sister are ill. It did her a lot of good to get out and do something different, with someone who isn't a relative, since all her family wants to do these days (naturally enough) is go over the amazing bad luck that has befallen them.

We chatted and laughed and teased one another and my cousin visited with us between sets and was very funny in a wry, clever way. I was proud to say I was "with the band." So we got a lot of happy out of the $10/person cover charge.

Image: Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Busy Gal!

We have been busy here at work, which is not a bad thing. Not in this industry, and not in this economy.

But it has left me a little too tired -- and a bit too sick of writing -- to post when I get home.

I'm going to try to catch up, though. I've had this blog for a long time and I haven't let events outpace it very often.

Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The 5000 Question Meme, The Final Part
Cheers to all of us thieves!

76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney.

77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? The okapi.

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? Yes. Now if only I could get someone else to consider me that way!

79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? Let's not find out.

80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? This -- farting around on the internet.

81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick? We are losing the right to religious freedom. Seems these days "muslim" is the worst thing you can accuse someone of being.

82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? North Pole. I think an igloo would be neat.

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? Listening to music, because there are TV shows that feature music.

84. What do you think makes someone a hero? Integrity.

85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? I'd like to be at the horse races when Mary Poppins sings "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

86. Name one thing that turns your stomach: The smell of coffee

87. What was the last thing you paid for? Lee jeans

88. Are you a coupon clipper? Not as often as I should be

89. Get anything good in the mail recently? Kate Middleton is on the cover of Newsweek. A nice change from all the wars and destruction.

90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling? Dancing

91. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends? Let's not find out.

92. What insects are you afraid of? None really. I am allergic to bee stings, so those are a must to avoid. But I'm not really afraid of them.

93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say? WWGD (What Would Gibbs Do?), a tribute to my TV boyfriend

94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? I was Harpo Marx for Halloween one year. It was the only time I've ever dressed in drag.

95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? Rib eye steaks.

96. What are your parents interested in? My mom likes gardening and my late father was a gear head.

97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet? No. It's always seemed kind of cruel.

Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? No. Though my cat Rey is rather rambunctious ...

98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans? Plans. I like plans.

99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? I don't know that I understand this question.

100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. My cell phone, cab fare, and music to listen to until the cab arrives, because I am NOT spending the night alone in the woods.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Sweet Soul Music

1. Do you listen to music at work, and if so, do you use a mp3 player, play it through your office computer, or do you listen to it collectively via a separate radio you keep nearby? I used to listen to CDs. Then I discovered Pandora. I'm now hooked.

2. Tell us something about people that you absolutely hate. Space hogs. Women who use the bench in front of the lockers at the health club for their water bottles, iPods, gym bags, etc., therefore making it impossible for me to sit in the same area code as my locker. GAWD! I HATE THAT!

3. What is something someone has done that you'd like the world to know about? When the rest of her family evacuated their Gettysburg home in 1863 before the famous battle started, Jennie Wade stayed behind to care for her sister who had just given birth and couldn't be moved. Jennie was baking bread for Union soldiers when a bullet* came through the window and hit her in the shoulder, making her the only civilian to die during the Battle of Gettysburg. I toured this house back when I was 7 and she was one of my early heroines.

* Or whatever they fired from guns back in those days.

4. Where is your favorite place to sit when at home? My little green Crate & Barrel sofa.

5. How did you come up with the title of your blog? It was available

6. Tell us about the one who got away. A parrothead who liked holding hands in the movies. He was his grandma's favorite and she told him all the time that he looked like Elvis (which was the highest praise from the old girl). He was very smart and could be tender and knew baseball, and I hope he's happy.

7. Have you ever had a big birthday party? No. I tend to have lots of little celebrations each year.

8. What was the biggest bash you've ever attended? A certain election night celebration in Grant Park.

9. With my kids and an always changing life, I find myself sometimes unable to focus! Do you have that problem, too? Some days. But I don't have any kids to blame it on. Guess I'll just have to admit to being a ditzy old broad.

Rep. Sean Duffy

He's on CNN right now, talking all fiscal, and I'm trying to take him seriously, but GEEZ! I used to be hooked on The Real World. I remember him as the lumberjack in flannel shirts, smoking cigs while huddled in the bathroom of that Boston firehouse and clashing with Kamelaah and drinking with Sy.

I know he's married to a member of my favorite Real World cast (San Francisco), Rachel, and they have, like, 11,000 kids.

Deja Sonny Bono!

THIS JUST IN! Watch him explain how hard it is for a family to squeak by on $174,000. (Dated 3/20/11).

Because I love movie lists

I am shamelessly stealing this from Kwizgiver. I went back to the American Film Institute and picked up the current Top 100 because I believe this list is a bit different than the one she worked from.

As I watch coverage of the impending government shut down, I find reflecting on classic movies therapeutic.

The ones I've seen are bolded ...

#	MOVIE	YEAR
1	CITIZEN KANE	1941
2	THE GODFATHER	1972
3	CASABLANCA	1942
4	RAGING BULL	1980
5	SINGIN' IN THE RAIN	1952
6	GONE WITH THE WIND	1939
7	LAWRENCE OF ARABIA	1962
8	SCHINDLER'S LIST	1993
9	VERTIGO	1958
10	THE WIZARD OF OZ	1939
11	CITY LIGHTS	1931
12	THE SEARCHERS	1956
13	STAR WARS	1977
14	PSYCHO	1960
15	2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY	1968
16	SUNSET BLVD.	1950
17	THE GRADUATE	1967
18	THE GENERAL	1927
19	ON THE WATERFRONT	1954
20	IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE	1946
21	CHINATOWN	1974
22	SOME LIKE IT HOT	1959
23	THE GRAPES OF WRATH	1940
24	E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL	1982
25	TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD	1962
26	MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON	1939
27	HIGH NOON (Never saw the whole thing)	1952
28	ALL ABOUT EVE	1950
29	DOUBLE INDEMNITY	1944
30	APOCALYPSE NOW	1979
31	THE MALTESE FALCON	1941
32	THE GODFATHER PART II	1974
33	ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST	1975
34	SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS	1937
35	ANNIE HALL	1977
36	THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI	1957
37	THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES	1946
38	THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE	1948
39	DR. STRANGELOVE	1964
40	THE SOUND OF MUSIC	1965
41	KING KONG	1933
42	BONNIE AND CLYDE I think this is the best of all time	1967
43	MIDNIGHT COWBOY	1969
44	THE PHILADELPHIA STORY	1940
45	SHANE	1953
46	IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT	1934
47	A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE	1951
48	REAR WINDOW	1954
49	INTOLERANCE	1916
50	THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING	2001
51	WEST SIDE STORY	1961
52	TAXI DRIVER	1976
53	THE DEER HUNTER	1978
54	M*A*S*H	1970
55	NORTH BY NORTHWEST	1959
56	JAWS	1975
57	ROCKY	1976
58	THE GOLD RUSH	1925
59	NASHVILLE	1975
60	DUCK SOUP	1933
61	SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS	1941
62	AMERICAN GRAFFITI	1973
63	CABARET	1972
64	NETWORK	1976
65	THE AFRICAN QUEEN	1951
66	RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK	1981
67	WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?	1966
68	UNFORGIVEN	1992
69	TOOTSIE	1982
70	A CLOCKWORK ORANGE	1971
71	SAVING PRIVATE RYAN	1998
72	THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION	1994
73	BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID	1969
74	THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS	1991
75	IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT	1967
76	FORREST GUMP	1994
77	ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN	1976
78	MODERN TIMES	1936
79	THE WILD BUNCH	1969
80	THE APARTMENT	1960
81	SPARTACUS	1960
82	SUNRISE	1927
83	TITANIC	1997
84	EASY RIDER	1969
85	A NIGHT AT THE OPERA	1935
86	PLATOON	1986
87	12 ANGRY MEN	1957
88	BRINGING UP BABY	1938
89	THE SIXTH SENSE	1999
90	SWING TIME I've seen all the Fred/Gingers, but can't tell them apart	1936
91	SOPHIE'S CHOICE	1982
92	GOODFELLAS	1990
93	THE FRENCH CONNECTION	1971
94	PULP FICTION	1994
95	THE LAST PICTURE SHOW	1971
96	DO THE RIGHT THING	1989
97	BLADE RUNNER	1982
98	YANKEE DOODLE DANDY	1942
99	TOY STORY	1995
100	BEN-HUR	1959