Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Christmas Song (1961)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) The lyrics mention "chestnuts roasting on an open fire." Do you often eat chestnuts? I don't recall ever eating a chestnut. Am I missing something wonderful?

2) There's a reference to Jack Frost, too. Does cold weather help you get into the holiday spirit? It helps. I enjoy that we get four distinct seasons here, and snow and cold are part of winter ... and Christmastime.

3) Nat sings that turkey helps to make the season bright. We just had it last month for Thanksgiving. Do you enjoy turkey all year around? Or do you consider it primarily a holiday dish? I eat turkey all year around. I prefer it to chicken.


4) This song was published as "The Christmas Song," but people often refer to it as "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" or "Merry Christmas to You." When you think of this song, which title comes to mind? "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire."

5) Nat King Cole had a big hit in the 1950s with "Mona Lisa." The ballad compares an enigmatic woman to the da Vinci painting, which hangs in the Louvre. The Mona Lisa has been called the most instantly identifiable painting in the world. Can you think of another famous painting that you recognize on sight? (Extra points if you include a picture!)

American Gothic

6) Best remembered today as a singer, Cole was also an accomplished composer and jazz pianist. Do you like jazz? Not especially.

7) The only Christmas card Sam has received so far this year is from her dentist. She never sees Dr. Douglas socially. In fact, she hasn't seen him since her annual check-up last March. Have you received many cards this year? Seven so far. I predict I'll get an even dozen by Christmas.

8) When did/will you start holiday shopping this year: Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving/Black Friday, Halloween? Earlier than that? I shop all year around. If I see the perfect gift for someone, I snap it up.


9) This time of year is big for charitable fundraising. Here's your chance to plug a cause or organization that's near and dear to you. I'm an enthusiastic supporter of the local food pantry. It's good to help my neighbors and keep my contributions close to home. Here's how to find your local food bank.

It's good to get out of myself

Things at work annoyed me today. We really aren't busy, it's my last workday of 2019, and so everything should be going smoothly. Yet it wasn't.

Hamid is getting on my nerves. He's very enthusiastic about getting stuff done, but he pays no attention whatsoever to process. He knows he's cutting corners, because I've told him. He also knows I like him, so he thinks that if he makes funny faces and charms me, I won't mind. He's wrong. I mind a lot. I'm worried that mistakes are going to get into print because Hamid is going rogue.

I had to get out of the office at lunchtime. I just had to have some alone time. I felt my Christmas spirit dissipating.

So I went "home," to the buffet in the building where we had offices until 2018. I spent many Christmases in that building, and I thought seeing the familiar decorations would cheer me up.

Instead I was jolted.

On December 13, with just 7 days to go, the building toy drive is at just 2% of goal. Every year, the tenants of this 83-story skyscraper contribute toys to brighten Christmas for abused, abandoned kids in a Catholic home. But this year, no one is giving.

I have 2 -- maybe 3 -- holiday get-togethers this coming week. I'm going to Key West the following week. My holiday shopping is done. I was hoping to be conservative with my money. But this was unacceptable. There has to be a way to help without busting my budget.

I remembered the Extra Bucks coupon I tucked in my wallet. Worth $3 at CVS. That's a start toward a toy, isn't it?  I got a set of "fashion dolls" -- generic Barbies -- that included two dolls and four outfits. With the coupon, it came to $7 and change, which I had on hand. It made me happy to drop the set of dolls into the unfortunately empty toy box.

Yes, I'm mad at Hamid for being manipulative. Yes, I'm mad at my boss for not taking the situation seriously.

But work problems happen every day, every week, every month of the year. This is Christmas. Christmas matters. Christmas means something.

An abused or abandoned little girl is going to get a pair of dolls from Santa. Just as Emily, the 4-year-old here in my neighborhood, is getting a sweater, a Frozen II Golden Book and an Anna/Elsa notebook. Two girls are going to get a dose of Christmas magic, in spite of their circumstances.

I did those things.

It's good to get out of myself and into others.

If you're looking for a way to help kids this Christmas, why not look to Toys for Tots?

$250 and words of encouragement

Wednesday was the office party. I didn't go. I never go. I don't feel like getting all dressed up, just to see my coworkers do things they'll regret the next day. (This year's notable moment: our chief digital officer reached for an hors d'oeuvres and ignited his sleeve on a candle. Of course, someone caught it on her phone. I don't find this funny and won't watch it.)

Learn about the Anthony Rizzo Family Foundation

Instead I went to dinner with my friend Kathleen. It was our annual birthday/Christmas celebration. For her birthday, I got her a t-shirt from The Anthony Rizzo Family Foundation, which benefits families who are battling cancer, and it gave me an opportunity to tell her how much I admired how Kathleen handled herself during her own battle with the disease. For Christmas, I gave her an ornament I had made with one of her favorite pix of her daughter and her husband. (Facebook comes in handy at times like this!)

There was a symmetry to our gift giving. For my birthday, she gave me a Beatle pillow case, which she purchased for me during a family vacation to Jolly Old. And for Christmas, she gave me a glass cat ornament. I told her it's going with me to Key West, where I'll be on Christmas Day. I always decorate my hotel room, and why not display kitty?

We caught up on our lives and our friends. She asked about my theater buddy, Barb, who had been Kathleen's boss at one time. I mentioned how sad I was that Barb and I had drifted apart. Since she moved to Hilton Head, I don't hear from her anymore. I've reached out with chatty little emails that don't get returned. I miss Barb, I worry about her and I wonder what I've done to upset or alienate her.

Kathleen told me, in her best mom voice, that I must not do this to myself and I have to entertain the notion that Barb could be going through stuff that has nothing to do with me. That made me feel better because I haven't forgotten how much Barb has suffered and I'd never intentionally do anything to hurt her.

Then, on Thursday, two things happened:

1) I won the Christmas party raffle and received a $250 gift card to Tao! This amuses me because I didn't even know I was entered in the raffle, and Tao is restaurant/nightclub frequented by the cool kids. The cast of Empire hangs out there while shooting. And here I'll come, wearing my jeans and armed with my gift card!

2) I got a Christmas card from Barb, indicating that Kathleen was right.

All's well that ends well!

How do you square this circle?

I know there are many bloggers who consider themselves good Christians and yet support Donald Trump. They insist he is prayerful and reflects their Christian values.

Yet Donald Trump regularly goes after Greta Thunberg, a teenage girl who is battling Asperger syndrome. For those of you who may not understand it, Asperger impairs a person's ability to understand and modulate gestures and tone of voice.

Tell me how making fun of her reflects Christ's teachings?

Earlier this week, the President mocked the security teamed assigned to keep him safe. 

I know that we're all human, and we each have our weak, unkind moments. Christians are supposed to feel remorse for this. Instead, our President and his supporters applaud this. At the rally, people literally cheered. His bully tweet of Greta Thunberg got tens of thousands of likes.

I am as offended and confused by the President's uber-Christian supporters as I am by him.

I hope someday (soon) the radical right will let me have my faith back.

Tuesday 4

A Repeat ~ Just Wondering
1.   When was the last time you tried something new? Last week I took my coworker to lunch at a restaurant we'd never tried before. The soup was meh but the burger was fantastic! The onions were caramelized in beef fat. That may sound a little creepy to you, but it made a difference and enhanced the flavor.

2.   Who in your family do you compare yourself to? I think I'm most like my Aunt Joanne, in ways good and bad. We're both short. We're both opinionated. We both like to read and we're both loyal. I even have her fair skin and round face.

3.   What lesson in life did you learn the hard way? If you find yourself repeatedly getting the short end of the stick from someone, don't believe him when he says he didn't mean it. He did.

4.   What can you do today that you weren't able to do before? I just figured out how to use the cropping tool on my phone! Until recently, I had to download photos to improve them before posting them. I'm not the most tech savvy gal in the world, so this was a big deal.

Sunday Stealing

From Pinterest


1. What don’t you share? On this blog? I don't share real names.

2. A reason to celebrate? It's Christmastime!


3. Describe where you are now. At my dining room table.

4. A dream that seems impossible. Winning the lottery.

5. Something you hope for. A winning lottery ticket.

6. A tradition that makes you feel at home. Singing with my shower radio.

7. The people who make your life better. My friends (because, technically speaking, my cats aren't people).

8. Someone you’d like to meet. Doris Kearns Goodwin. I'd love to talk Abe and Mary with her.

9. A silly thing you’d really like. I want an Anthony Rizzo Cubs jersey. I don't need it. I would only wear it once/twice a season. But I want it nevertheless.

10. A book from your childhood. Abe again.

 

11. Something you’re still not sure about. Whether impeachment is wise. Oh, I think Trump is guilty of bribery and with every passing day I'm more certain he's a blight on his office. But this is my third impeachment, and I've seen it have unintended consequences.

12. The best dessert to share with friends. Well, the last one I shared was a brownie with whipped cream. It was terrific, so I'll go with that.

13. A story that captures your imagination. I'll stay with Abe.

14. Memories beside a fireplace. My uncle was proud of his fireplace, so it made me happy to buy him fireplace related stuff for Christmas. He loved a good creosote sweeping log.

15. How do you spend a rainy day? I'd love spend it napping!

 

It was a stupid phone call

A serious topic, to be sure, but a stupid call. My friend Henry had a seizure at work and ended up in the ER on Tuesday or Wednesday. Friday night, he called me.

He was still rattled by the experience. He was also drunk, medicated and silly.

He gets seizures as a result of his traumatic brain injury. Which he still denies he has. He had a seizure this past week because he doesn't take his medication.

I asked him why. He said that, when he's at work and the alarm on his phone goes off, he refuses to stop what he's doing to swallow pills. He says it's "embarrassing."

I asked him if it isn't "embarrassing" to have coworkers break into the men's room and then see him loaded into an ambulance. He told me that I don't understand. He's right.

I changed the subject to my upcoming trip to see him. I told him I'd be happy to go to his new church for Christmas Eve service, and that I discovered I could walk to it from my hotel. I asked if he could get a ride.

"I'll drive myself. I can drive. I've been driving." He slurred this.

I told him that I would stay in Chicago rather than be responsible for a man who has seizures getting behind the wheel.

He changed the subject to Patrick, Reg's friend who will be coming to stay with them. He told me he thought Patrick was "creepy" and implied that he indulges in promiscuity because he was molested as a child. This is a rather dramatic accusation! Plus, Henry forgets that I not only was molested as a teen, I'm a rape survivor, so this is an uncomfortable subject for me.

I asked him what Patrick's rate of intercourse has to do with him. He said Patrick brings strange lovers into their home and Henry doesn't want to "wake up dead." This does not happen.

Fortunately, Henry said his medications were kicking in and he wanted to cut the call short. THANK GOD!

Nothing he said was true or legitimate. It's very hard for me not to shout at him.

But I know he's not himself. I know my Henry is in there, somewhere. I've seem more and more flashes of the old Henry as he struggles to recover.

I just need to hold on. To hang on. To realize he's doing the best he can.

But it's a white lie

I don't feel like going downtown today. I just don't. Apparently, other members of my movie group don't feel like it either.

For Will, our moderator, wants us all to meet at one of the multiplexes to see Meet Me in St. Louis on the big screen in celebration of the film's 75th anniversary. It's a good choice. After all, it's the movie where Judy Garland introduces "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Will thought sure I'd be there because, as he texted me, IT'S JUDY!

Garland is adorable in the movie and her musical numbers are stellar, but I'm not all that crazy about the movie. It's overlong. Plus, it's on TV all the time (I literally saw it yesterday on the Movies! network).

I want to chill today. I want to eat brunch at my favorite coffee shop. I want to finish my grocery shopping, get my laundry done and maybe take a stab at cleaning my bathroom. I want to talk to as few people as possible.

So I told Will I was too busy and too broke to join him. It seems he's going to have a very small turn out today. He offered to pay for my admission, "a late birthday present."

I'm going to wait a few hours and pretend I didn't see it till it was too late for me to get downtown. I will thank him profusely. And that will be sincere. His thoughtful and generous offer does mean a lot to me. 

But I'm telling a white lie to preserve my alone time.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: The Champion (2018)


1) This song is about doing what it takes to win. What's the most recent competition you won? (Yes, online solitaire counts.) It was probably an online game of canasta. I'm pretty good, if I do say so myself.

2) The lyrics tell us to "go ahead and put your bets on me." Do you often play games of chance -- like the office football pool, or slot machines, or the lottery? I spend $2/week on the Illinois State Lottery. Then I fantasize for days about what I'd do with my winnings.

3) The video includes footage of young people competing in The Special Olympics. What's your favorite sport to watch? Is it the same sport you most enjoying playing? I love watching baseball. I'm no good at it, though.

4) This week's featured artist, Carrie Underwood, first came to America's attention when she won on American Idol. Prior to competing on that show, she'd never been on an airplane. How old were you when you took your first flight? 17.

5) Carrie loves horror and her favorite author is Stephen King. What book are you currently reading? Still Life by Louise Penny.

6) Carrie's duet partner on "The Champion" is rapper Ludacris. In addition to making music, he acts and has appeared in one Sam's favorite shows, Law & Order: SVU. What's your favorite "cop show?" Law & Order, either the original or SVU -- but only when Elliott was on.

Law & Order, with my favorite cast

Elliott and Liv on SVU

7) Ludacris is a distant cousin of comedian Richard Pryor. Have you studied your family's genealogy? Nah.

8) Soccer was a big deal in 2018, the year this song was released. According to Google, "FIFA World Cup" was the news story that generated the most internet searches. What's the last thing you "googled?" Law & Order, to get the photos.

9) Random question: You're battling the flu. The doctor advises you to stay in bed a full five days. As you begin feeling better (around Day 3), do you continue to follow doctor's orders? Or do you get up and start moving before you're supposed to? I'd get bored, move around too much, and then collapse back into bed. 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? Still Life by Louise Penny. This is the first book in the Inspector Gamache series. I know I'm late to the Three Pines party. My blog buddy, Kwizgiver, is a massive fan and the staff at the local bookstore recommends it, too. So book #1 has made its way to my book bag.

Jane, school teacher/aspiring artist/longtime Three Pines resident, is found dead in the woods. Shot with an arrow! It's hunting season, so at first the authorities can't definitively classify it as a homicide. But you and I know it's murder.

So far I'm really enjoying the unique sense of place Ms. Penny has spun. The citizens are colorful and unique without being wacky or stereotypical. Three Pines feels like a very real place.

  2. What did you recently finish reading?  Becoming by Michelle Obama.This is a very candid post-White House memoir. I was surprised, and delighted, by what Michelle Obama chose to share. Even before Barack stepped onto the national stage, she struggled as she tried to balance her professional/personal lives. As a couple, they had trouble with fertility. Their relationship benefited from marriage counseling. Her openness on these important topics has/will undoubtedly help other women cope. Brava, Michelle!

It was also fascinating to watch her travel from the South Side to Pennsylvania Avenue. She isn't as diplomatic as her husband, not as careful or elegant in her speech. I missed his voice in some of these stories, as I wanted to hear his take on these same events. But this is her story, her chance to talk. As I was reading, I appreciated that this was history I was flipping through..

 

3.  What will you read next? Cary Grant by Marc Elliott. Unless I change my mind.

My boss is an old fart

Ok, that might not be the most elegant title for a post, but it's true! We got a project last week. A little one, in the scheme of things. But obviously very important to our client, Rick. It's important to Rick, so it's important to me. I like getting that check every two weeks!

My boss, on the other hand, has been making fun of it. It's stupid, it's poorly thought out, it's too small to move the needle of our client's business ...

Last week, on Tuesday morning, we agreed that I would do two creative concepts and he would do one. After all, he has nothing on his plate right now and is always complaining about that, too.

Tuesday afternoon, I brought it up again, telling him in broad strokes what I decided to do on my two (2) concepts. He said he "couldn't think about it" right now. He was taking Wednesday off to extend his Thanksgiving weekend an extra day and well, he'd do it Monday.

I worked on Wednesday and fleshed out my two concepts. They were on his desk Monday morning. I kept trying to talk to him about them, and the impact they would have on his -- which still needed to be done -- but he was busy. Writing personal checks. After all, our paychecks had been deposited over the weekend! Yes, my boss was openly doing this on company time.

We had a meeting about this project Monday afternoon. My boss sat in the corner and reminded us all how dumb it is, how poorly thought out it is, and that it's too small to have any real impact on our client's work. Yeah, that'll inspire the troops!

The art director, account executive and I got into a conversation/disagreement about how a regulation would impact the legal. The art director was very resistant to doing something I believed was legally mandatory. We both were trying to impress upon the account executive that we really needed to get this resolved.

My boss snapped to and announced, "You've been arguing about this for 40 hours!" and "We have more important things to worry about than this regulation!" He actually scolded us.

More important things to do than worry about a regulation? Like what? Complaining about how poorly thought out the project is, or how dumb it is, and how it's too small to make a difference?

Fortunately, he left after the meeting. A dentist's appointment. I was glad to see him go. I could no longer stand the sight of him.

Though he left Monday afternoon without doing his concept.

Sometimes I think maybe it's time for all of us to retire.

Sunday Stealing

FILL IN THE BLANKS


1. Right now I'm _____. Watching Meet the Press.


2. _____ is my well known quirk. Being a rabid fan girl


3. Are you _____? kidding


4. _____ first, then _____! Measure/cut


5. That's why _____. I'm here



6. _____ is one of my favorite tv shows ever! The Dick Van Dyke Show


7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _____, tomorrow my plans include _____ Um ... My answers are not weekend-y at all: starting my Christmas cards/going to work


8. If I could go anywhere on a road trip, I'd go to _____. the TCM Film Festival in April. (Unfortunately, I can't afford it this year.)


9. _____ is something I don't understand. Dismissing impeachment after all this evidence


10. Thanksgiving makes me think of _____ how grateful I am for my blessings.


11. _____ is the best way to relax! A nap


12. It looks like Autumn _____. is over


13. _____ is one of my favorite healthy snacks. A bowl of cereal


14. The smell of _____ makes me think of _____. licorice/Grandpa


15. When I am feeling lazy I _____. do this (fart around on the internet)


16. When I look to the left, I see ______________. my sofa


17. ___________ are the room(s) that have the best view in my home. The living room is


18. _________ was done dirt cheap! Dirty deeds were


19. __________ is a responsibility that all qualified citizens must share. Jury duty


20. If you have any __________feel free to share it with me. chocolate

-->

"I need my sister"

So began my Saturday night call with Henry. He resigned from the Sunday night poetry group because the woman who runs it "attacks" him and he can't take it anymore. Apparently they have been at cross purposes since summertime, and things came to a head this past week when she accused Henry of showing up for meetings drunk.

He claims he wasn't. He says it's all different medications he takes after his accident.

I know that, after church on Sunday, he and his friend Phyllis go to brunch and drink wine.

So I think they're both right.

He was very weepy, which is standard these days. But he is showing real improvement. He's empathetic again. That facet of his personality has been missing for the last year. Now he says he's sorry for what he's put me, Reg and Phyllis through. It's so good to hear.

I tell him apologies are not necessary, that I love him and I'll always be here. I tell him the facts and details of the accident are unimportant to me, that all I care about is having him alive and stronger every day.

That's not entirely true. I'm very happy to hear the "I'm sorry." Because he has. on occasion, been an asshole and it's a balm to hear he knows and regrets hurting my feelings.

And because, before the accident, Henry was the dearest, most generous man you'd ever want to meet. I've missed him!

In less than a month we will be together in Key West. That will be good for us both. I predict it will be a merrier Christmas than it was last year (and Christmas 2020 will be even better still).

In my happy place

I love to sit in a darkened theater, eat movie food* and contemplate murder. That's why I enjoyed Knives Out. It's everything I wanted The Good Liar to be. It's funny, fast-paced and twisty -- very twisty. It's SNL meets Agatha Christie. I'm only sorry that the plot made it impossible for Christopher Plummer and Danial Craig to have a scene together. That would have been great!

*Saturday, it was Raisinettes

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Baby's in Black (1964)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.  From our archives.

1) Black is this week's signature color because Friday was "Black Friday," the day when retailers cut their prices and consumers flock to the stores. Did you score any "Black Friday" bargains? Yes. I hadn't expected to go shopping on Friday because I'm just so over the crowds. But a local grocery store has a tree with paper ornaments made by kids from lower income households. On the back of each ornament, the child shares what they'd like from Santa. I drew Emily, a 4-year-old who wears a size 6 and wants "Anna and Elsa." 

I bet she'll like this better than the sweater

Old Navy was busy but not crazy, so I slipped in and got her a fuzzy green sweater (50% off!) and some slipper socks (on sale for $1!). Then I stopped by the local independent bookseller. Instead of cutting prices, they're donating 10% of sales to a homeless shelter. There I found a Big Golden Book based on Frozen 2. So Emily is set!

2) Feasting and football are also popular Thanksgiving weekend pastimes. Do your Thursday-Sunday plans include pigging out or watching a game? While I tend to pig out on weekends anyway, I have no specific dining plans, and I seldom watch football.

3) At Thanksgiving dinners, Crazy Sam's homemade gravy is always a hit. (Probably because she's so generous with the cognac, which gives the gravy a nutty taste.) What was particularly delicious at your Thanksgiving table? I had "The Works," with pumpkin pie for dessert. It was all excellent, but I was especially happy with the turkey and gravy.

 
4) Among the biggest the Black Friday advertisers are Target, Kohl's, Macy's and Best Buy. If you could have a $100 gift card to any one of those stores, which would you choose? Target, because I can pick up groceries. This whole needing to eat thing is such a drain on my budget!

5) This week's song, "Baby's in Black," is about a girl who wears black because she's in mourning. Do you find that the color you're wearing reflects your mood? Yes. It makes me happy to wear Cub-related gear. (Right now, I'm wearing a XXL Anthony Rizzo 44 t-shirt as pajamas.)
 
6) The woman who inspired this song, Astrid Kirchherr, has been friends with Paul McCartney since he and his bandmates (John Lennon, George Harrison, Stu Sutcliffe and Pete Best) met her in Hamburg back in 1960. Tell us what you believe are the components of a strong, lasting friendship. Availability. I work at this. I want my friends to know that I'm free to talk, email or get together when they need me. Or just want me. These days, our lives are so busy, and time is at a premium. Friends are worth the time.

7) In the early days of the Beatles, Paul McCartney and John Lennon began writing a play but abandoned it. Do you have a novel, painting, play, song or poem that you're going to finish "someday?" Every year I do Nanowrimo. It's my opportunity to write fiction for myself, not for publication. As a copywriter, I'm used to being given a topic and a deadline. Compliance departments make sure every word I write is within guidelines. Nanowrimo is a good exercise, and fun for me.

8) When he was 16, George Harrison dreamed of moving to Canada, Australia or Malta. In just a few years, he would visit all those places with Beatles and eventually decided there was no place like home and stayed in England (though he did also maintain a home in Hawaii). Have you ever thought about moving to another country? If so, where? No.

9)  Random question: Finish this sentence -- If you want me to give you "yes" for an answer, the best time to approach me is _____________________. After a Cubs win.

Festive!

That's how Thanksgiving felt. John, Gregory and I met at Millennium Grill at 6:00. We did the prix fixe menu, which gave us all the basics -- green beans, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, dressing, gravy, cranberries and, of course, turkey -- all on one plate. Dessert was extra, but mandatory for me, so I had a slice of pumpkin pie.

The best thing about this restaurant is that it's in Millennium Park, home to Chicago's official Christmas tree.  And what a tree! A 55-ft. tall blue spruce covered in nearly 55,000 lights!

As we ate, John and Gregory were able to watch the skaters twirling around. (I sat in the other side of the booth, but that's OK. I got there early and took pictures.)

We had a nice time together, agreeing that this was a much easier-going holiday than we'd ever had with our families. Two memorable moments:

•  John insisting we aren't "old" but "middle aged." I'm 62, he's 64 and Gregory is (at least) 66. Gregory and I rolled our eyes and wondered aloud how long he thinks we'll live!

•  The manila envelope. Inside was a yellowing press page of the Chicago Sun Times,  dated February 9, 1964. It was a story titled, "Bug Bites Beatle," about how George was battling the flu in the run up to the Ed Sullivan Show that night. It was thoughtful and very cool.

I'm thankful

I'm so grateful these two are healthy! Reynaldo and Connie are my responsibility and my joy. They have much to teach me, if only I'll pay attention.

I yelled at a homeless man ...

... and I'm not sorry. I know I should be sorry. I wish I was sorry. Compassion for the least among us is the hallmark of my Christian faith. Miss Melanie Wilkes -- my cinematic spiritual guide -- might have yelled at him, too, but at least she would be sorry.

There's this guy right here in town who has been homeless for years. He doesn't just stay on a particular corner, he moves from spot to spot. He's rather in your face with his panhandling, but I've seen him so often over the years that I know he's harmless. I don't like to take my wallet out of my purse when I'm on the street, so if I don't happen to have anything in my pocket, I don't share.

One day -- months ago -- he asked me for "a dollar." I said, "I don't know how much change I have, but you're welcome to it." I put some coins in his hands.

"I need a dollar."

For real. He said that to me. So I held out my hand. "If my money's not good enough for you, give it back." He mumbled and walked away.

Wednesday, he was on the el platform. It cost him $2.50 to get up there.*

He came up to me and asked for a dollar.

I flashed to the people I see in the city. The solemn, silent people holding their cups and their signs ("This is humiliating," "Anything is a lot when you have nothing"). Sometimes with their kids, often with their pets. Frequently with all their belongings in a garbage bag or shopping cart.

And this man came up to me and said, "I need a $1 for a sandwich." And I lost it.

"No," I said. "I gave you money and you told me it wasn't enough."

"You gave me a quarter!" He said, as if I'd offended him. I promise you, that wasn't me. I never give my quarters away because I need them for laundry. So that leads me to believe there's another woman here in town that he pissed off.

"I don't have to give you anything. I save my money for people who say 'thank you.'"

Not me

"What do you expect me to get with a quarter?"

"I don't care! Go away!"

"I got you, Buddy," said a voice from behind me.

"Go talk to him!" I shouted. "He's nicer than I am!"

The homeless man moved behind me, saying over and over, "She gave me a quarter. What do you expect me to get with a quarter?"

I don't believe he's that badly off because 1) he doesn't even carry a backpack, and if he was homeless, he'd have his belongings with him and 2) he had the $2.50 to get on the el platform. I resent him approaching me -- an old lady by myself -- and getting in my face. And the lack of gratitude just staggers me.

I know I should feel bad about this exchange, but I'm still angry. At him. I hope I get to the point where I can honestly say I'm angry at myself, or at least ashamed. But to be honest, I'm not there yet.

*Our el stop is manned by a CTA employee during morning/evening rush, so I know he didn't jump the turnstyle.

3 baggies and a crumpled $5 bill

I made baggies for the homeless people I pass every day. Each one included a packet of tissues, cough drops, Chap Stick, hand lotion, a breakfast bar, a pouch of tuna, and $1. At lunch on Tuesday, I took a walk and distributed three of them.

One went to a young mother with two little daughters, who said, "God bless you." The second went to a man sitting under the scaffolding at a construction site. He smiled and thanked me. As I was walking away, I heard him say, "I hope it's socks." Gotta remember that! If not socks, I could certainly add those toe warmers. The third was for a guy who was really, really drunk or wasted, sitting in front of The Billy Goat Tavern. I hope when he woke up/came to, this made him feel better.

I was going to give the last one to a guy in a knit cap, sitting under a street light. When I got close, I saw it was Caleb! He was alone, no Napoleon or Randi. I said hi, he unsmilingly said "hi." I was confused by this and said, "You don't remember me, don't you?"

"You're The Gal," he said. This is so weird. Why is he so cool to me? I gave him $5 and asked where the rest of the family was. He gave me a street name, and told me that Napoleon is "so big." Then he went back to reading. I was dismissed.

I walked a couple blocks up and down the street he named but didn't see Randi and Napoleon. I thought she's appreciate the last baggie because it included lotion. I didn't see her anywhere. There's an underpass on that street, but to be honest, I didn't feel safe venturing down there. I hope that's not where they're living now!

I don't know why Caleb is so remote. Is he embarrassed to be back on the street? Did I offend him somehow in one of our last encounters?

It doesn't matter though. Of course, I enjoyed seeing the young mother's face when I gave her the baggie. Yes, it makes me feel good to know that the wasted guy will wake up feeling like he matters to someone. But doing good shouldn't be about accolades. Doing good should make the world better, even in a small way.

Caleb, Randi and Napoleon have opened my eyes to the suffering of my neighbors. That is what matters. And this Thanksgiving, that's what I'm going to be grateful for.

Tuesday 4

About Thanksgiving
1.   What is your favorite Thanksgiving show/animated show? I don't really have a favorite Thanksgiving show, but I do like to catch at least a few minutes of each televised parade (Chicago's and New York's).

2.   What is there about Thanksgiving you like the best? The feasting! When I was a kid, and my icky grandmother hosted Thanksgiving, there was always so much tension. She really didn't enjoy preparing the meal but insisted on doing it because it was tradition. You could try to help her, but I promise you that you were doing whatever it was wrong and making everything harder for her. By the time we sat down to eat, I wished I was anywhere else.

After she died, my kid sister took over the tradition ... including the martyrdom. She wanted to host Thanksgiving at her house -- so her kids would have those memories -- but then she wanted her husband to be able to have dessert with his family, at his mother's house, so we had to be done by a certain time. It was a lot of pressure for a mother with little kids. I remember recommending a restaurant near her in-law's home or letting Boston Market at least handle the sides, but no. Tradition. Again, I felt like she was begrudging me every mouthful because I took so long to chew! I would have gone elsewhere, but I didn't because it was important to me to spend the day with mother. I went where she went.

Since my mom died, I've been having what my friend John calls "Orphan Thanksgiving." I guess now we could call it Friendsgiving. John, Gregory and I get dressed up, meet at a restaurant, enjoy a leisurely meal and are grateful for what we have. This year, we're dining at the Millennium Park Grill, which will give us a lovely opportunity to see Chicago's official Christmas tree, and to watch all the skaters twirling around on the rink. I'll linger over good food and not worry about doing anything wrong in the kitchen!

3.   Favorite Thanksgiving/holiday song? I love so many Christmas songs! But this morning, I'll choose "Silent Night."

4.   If you have an all holiday music radio station when do you start listening to it? I don't switch to the station that plays 24/7 holiday music. But I'll begin listening to carols on Friday. Love them!