Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing

1. What are your current obsessions? I've discovered vintage, black and white gameshows from the 1950s and early 1960s and I'm transfixed. They reveal America on the cusp of a seismic shift that no one saw coming. On the one hand, I love how courtly everyone was, how elegant in jackets and ties and white gloves and jewelry. On the other hand, the racial and gender lines were drawn with a heavy marker. Women referred to themselves as "Mrs. John Smith" instead of "Mary Smith." Hispanics and Asians were invisible, and blacks were domestics or in the military. I feel like warning them that the times, they will soon be a-changing. (They haven't heard of Bob Dylan yet.)



2. What are you listening to? A documentary about DB Cooper.

3. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often? Jeans.

4. What are you reading? Wanton's Web. It's a murder mystery set in Chicagoland and I love how careful the author is about the time/place.

5. What’s for dinner? I don't know for sure, but there is a pork chop thawing in the refrigerator.

6. What was the last thing you bought? Dinner to celebrate my friend John's birthday. We had a very nice time.

7. Guilty pleasure? Vodka. (I had too much to drink at dinner and I'm rethinking my choice.)

8. What training did you get and how do you make a living? 13 years of public schooling. And I'm an advertising writer.

9. If you could go back in time, knowing what you know now, and choose a different career path, what would you train to do? I'd like to work with animals in some capacity. Maybe I'd train to be vet tech. 

10. What’s your best time of day? Late morning or late, late at night.

11. Do you like being on a team or are you a solo player? I'm comfortable in both role, but I prefer playing solo.

12. What’s your favorite way to create art? Words.

13. Name three items in your refrigerator: Aforementioned pork chop, 2% milk and Coke.

14. Tell us about your first crush: I only have vague recollections, but my mother used to tell me that, when I was a toddler, I was desperately in love with Little Joe Cartwright on Bonanza. She said if anyone punched or shot him, I was inconsolable, to the point that she had a hard time getting me to bed. At first she blamed my tears on the show being one of the only ones in color and that the action was too vivid for my tender sensibilities. Then she realized I didn't react when anyone else got hurt. Just Little Joe.

15. The first time that I became a boyfriend/girlfriend was with who, when? The summer after I graduated from high school I had my first ongoing relationship with the same boy (as opposed to just dates here and there). His name was David. 

16. Do you remember what you did on your first date? We went to a school dance. 

17. How did you meet your current (or most recent) girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife? At work. It's the only place I go!

18. How did your first romantic relationship end? Badly. It was the David from question #15. I feel sorry for him in retrospect. We were so young and of course he wanted to see (and sleep with) other girls before he "settled down." Yet he really liked me and I see now how hard ending it was for him. He tried to be gentle and considerate but I was shattered nevertheless.

19. Do you remember your first kiss? Yes. I was very worried that my braces would spoil everything.

20. What do we still not know about you? I spend a lot of time on my skin care every morning. I accept that I have to age, but I'm trying hard to do it slowly.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Sara Smile (1976)

 

1) This was Hall & Oates' first #1 hit. Can you name another of their popular songs? My favorite: "She's Gone." 

 

 

 

 
2) Darryl Hall and Sara Allen were a couple for 30 years, and he wrote this at the beginning of their long relationship. That makes this a very public love letter. Are you good at writing love letters? Would you rather tell the person how you feel, face to face? Or do you let your actions speak louder than your words? Yes, I can write a good love letter. I just need the right inspiration. Sigh. I once received a "love email" that I carried in my purse for years. He wasn't a particularly skilled writer, but there was so much heart in it. I wonder if there's anything such thing as a "love text." Would it say, "I LUV U" and end with an emoji?

 
3) In the song, Darryl and Sara are waiting for the sunrise. Did you see the sunrise this morning? Or did you sleep in? It's pre-dawn as I answer these questions. I have a feeling I'm going to crash soon, which means missing the sunrise.

 
4) Both Hall & Oates hail from the Philadelphia area. Hall is a native of suburban Pottstown, which was a stop on the Reading/Philadelphia rail line made famous in Monopoly. Do you like playing board games? Sure.

 
5) John Oates grew up a few miles away from Pottstown in North Wales. Decades ago, North Wales' biggest employer was a cigar factory. Do you like the smell of a cigar? For a moment or so, because it reminds me of my favorite grandpa. Then I want to get as far away from the smoke as I can.

 
6) Daryl Hall now hosts a music show, Live from Daryl's House, that you catch  free online. Do you typically watch shows from your computer, pad, phone or TV set? My TV. I tend to multitask, farting around on the laptop when the TV is on.

 

7) Hall & Oates are currently on tour. Are you seeing/have you seen a concert this summer? Nope. I feel kinda bad that I'm going to miss Streisand next month. Seeing an icon like her isn't a concert, it's an event! But money is tight right now and I've got to be smart.

 

8) Daryl and John have been friends for 50 years, even living together at the beginning of their careers when money was tight. Another successful duo of the rock era, Simon & Garfunkle, also met as teens but they forever seem to be feuding. What do you think makes for a lasting friendship/partnership? Acceptance. Giving the other person the benefit of the doubt and remembering we're each doing the best we can. And laughs! Laughter can get us through a lot.

9) Random question:  Are you quick to try new things? As time goes on, less so. I should push myself more.

 

The best fried chicken in Chicago?

Chicago Eater says about Roister's is definitely near the top, and after having dinner there Thursday, I heartily agree. And it wasn't just fried chicken. There was seared chicken and chicken salad. And it was wonderful.

So were the sushi and pasta/clams we shared as an appetizer.

The best thing about the dinner, though, was seeing Barb look so good. Her skin and hair were glowing. And she was on time! In the decades I've been dining with her, she's never been on time before! Retirement definitely agrees with her.

I was surprised to see her flat as a little boy. Yes, of course I knew she'd had a double mastectomy. But I never really thought about her figure before and she does look different. Relaxed, younger and flat. She's having a second reconstructive surgery -- with up to 8 weeks of recovery (!) -- on Monday.

She was full of news. She and John are building a home near Hilton Head. Sprawling, near but on the water and within walking distance of a forest preserve, which will be perfect for walking the dogs.

They are selling their Chicago home in spring. She is moving away.

I'm trying not to feel abandoned. In fact, I literally blurted, "I feel like you are abandoning me." She laughed and told me I'm welcome to stay in their guest room any time.

Again, the difference in our finances hit home. I mean, here I am, sitting in a condo that needs a lot of work. Waiting to hear how much this year's special assessments -- new elevator and bed bug treatments -- will add up to. Despairing my dirty carpet and mottled living room wall and oh! that bathroom! Wishing, wishing I could pay for it all. Wishing, wishing I didn't have so much debt, so I could wouldn't have to worry everylastingly about job security.

Then there's Barb. Her 3BR home is paid for. Their renovated 2BR/2BA condo in Hilton Head is a nice vacation home but simply two small for all their stuff. So now they're building a third place. Both happily retired.

"Compare and despair." That's what my oldest friend's shrink tells her. I must remember that. Barb's life is Barb's life. Mine is my own and will unfold the way it's supposed to.

In the meantime, I must concentrate on how good she looks and feels, and say a little prayer that this reconstructive surgery isn't as painful as her previous one was.

Strangely comforting

The Tribune's wonderful Mary Schmich ran this 50-year-old front page alongside her column, stating, "It's a time of shootings and protests, shouting and hatred, distant wars that are too close to home and everywhere, it seems, fear. But confusion, violence and fear are hardly new, and if they feel more acute in some moments than others, there's no reason to think they're worse than ever now. For a little perspective, take a look at Chicago 50 years ago."

Oh, how I remember the "search for mass slayer." He turned out to be Richard Speck, the bogeyman of my girlhood. On July 14, 1966, he talked his way into a dormitory and killed 8 of its 9 occupants. The 9th, Corazon Amurao ("hidden survivor" referred on the front page), escaped slaughter by hiding under the bed. From the time the murders were discovered till Speck's capture, I was terrified. There was a thick evergreen bush under my bedroom window and I was certain he was hiding there, waiting to kill my family in our sleep.

I also remember the the riots. Race riots. "Police brutality" and "Daley cops" were the phrases that floated into my consciousness (and would become part of the nation's vernacular during the infamous 1968 Democratic Convention).

Add to that the continuing Vietnam War, which was in the newspapers and on TV every night. DMZ (demilitarized zone) was the buzzword of the summer. My favorite uncle was still "in country" that summer, so those stories were disturbing, too.

It was all personal, painful and overwhelming to the 8 year old Gal. Just as the summer of 2016 feels personal, painful and overwhelming to the 58 year old Gal.

But, as Ms. Schmich says at the end of her column, "50 years after that awful July week in Chicago, as we struggle with the problems and fears of the present, it's useful to remember that we're not the first to struggle. We won't be the last. Chicago, always changing, will survive."

I have been there!

I immediately recognized the woodwork

Today Hillary gave an important speech about race and she chose the venue well. Illinois' Old State Capitol is where Lincoln gave his House Divided speech, where Barack Obama announced his run for the Presidency, and then returned to introduce Joe Biden as his running mate.

I have had happy times visiting that venerable Springfield landmark -- as a school girl, on trips with my oldest friend and playing tour guide to my nephew. I was supposed to go last month with John, but his illness prevented it. Hopefully we will try to make the trip in spring 2017.

John -- like all my friends of color -- is 100% with Hillary. In fact, before he checked himself into the hospital in May, he reassured me, only half joking, that he had no intention of dying until he voted for Hillary for President. So I look forward to walking the Old State Capitol halls with him.

The speech was important to me because she named the names. She gave proper respect to the five police officers killed in Dallas -- Brent Thompson, Lorne Ahrens, Patrick Zamarripa, Michael Smith and Michael Krol. She also named Philando Castile, the St. Paul school employee shot to death during a traffic stop.

Most important to me, she remembered to name Laquan McDonald and Sandra Bland. Those two deaths have left a raised bruise on Chicago.

"There is too much violence and hate in our country. Too little trust and common ground. It can feel impossible to have the conversations we need to have to fix what's broken," she said. Thinking back on the last year, I realize the willingness to have this conversation is what my black and Hispanic friends have pointed to in explaining their consistent support for Hillary. Right now, those friends don't really care about climate change, tuition reimbursement, or reforming Wall Street. To the POC in my circle, concern about those things* feels like a luxury.

Clinton went on to invoke Abe and his commitment to economic equality. "He deeply believed everyone deserved – in his words – ‘a fair chance in the race of life.'"

She also said that now the GOP is in danger of changing from The Party of Lincoln to The Party of Trump. That sentence alone should make everyone want to support her. As a nation, we simply cannot have that man in the White House, and this obviously imperfect woman is now our last line of defense.

Meanwhile, back in the Old State Capitol: Hillary grew up in suburban Park Ridge. I wonder how many times in the long-ago 1950s she went down to Springfield as a girl. I wonder if it ever occurred to her that she'd give a speech in Lincoln's shadow en route to the Presidency.

*As well as my my priorities: protecting the separation of church and state and a woman's right to choose.

Good News!

I went to the doctor Monday and got good news: She thinks I'm doing "just fine."

I'm glad, because I was obsessing. While my gut's been pretty consistent lately, it's not the way it was before my long bout with c. diff. I was worried. My doctor is not.

I do, however, need to go back in November or December for more tests. It's a reminder that that c. diff is serious. Obsessing is not good, but that doesn't mean vigilance is bad.

KB!

I found tonight's All Star Game kinda boring because it doesn't really count. Yes, the winning league gets home field advantage in the World Series, and this year that might actually have an impact on my Cubs, but that feels like a long way away. My guys are tired and banged up and more than an NL win, I want them to enjoy a few well-deserved days off.

So while I was excited about the All-Star voting, and was happy to see my wonderful team so honored, little about the actual game gripped me.

Except this.

THIS WAS YUMMY! Kris Bryant's first at-bat in the All-Star Game, opposite White Sox ace Chris Sale (!), and he sent it sailing out of the park.

Awesome Chicago Tribune photo capturing the moment

Thinking a lot about a lot of money

Back on 6/21, I sent my friend Barb a check for $850. This covers our theater tickets for 2016. It was hard for me to scrape it together. But I owe it to her, she's newly retired, and she probably needs it. I mean, that's a lot of money, right?

Wrong.

The check still hasn't cleared! She mentioned it in passing last week, so I know she received it.

$850 is more than my monthly mortgage payment, and it's rattling around in the bottom of one of her purses.

The disparity in our financial situations really bothers me. This week I'm taking her to Roister, Chicago's hot new restaurant, for her birthday. I'm happy to do it, because she's having another round of reconstructive surgery and this will be one of her last nights out before she's off her feet for a while. Plus, she's a foodie, and their chicken is already the stuff of legend. I wouldn't be surprised if the bill reaches $200.

As a gift, I got her a wine bottle thermometer/cuff, an unbreakable wine glass and a little bag of bath salts. It's to encourage her to lay back in the tub and relax, and concentrate on herself now that work is behind her. I put a lot of thought into it, but the price tag was less than $30.

I know she'll say she appreciates it, but I worry that it will look like nothing to her. 

This isn't the first time I've noticed that money doesn't mean to her what it does to me.  And it's one of the things that hurts me that may be self inflicted.

I just wish I saw me through Barb's eyes. I wonder how she sees our relationship. What does she get out of it? How does she view me? After 20+ years, I probably should be able to answer that, huh? Maybe I'm just having a low self-image day, and I'm sick of worry about money.

Deserve this, Bernie

My nephew said something to me Saturday that I keep replaying, and it makes me tear up a bit.

Bernie Sanders has touched a very deep chord with my nephew. Too young to legally make campaign contributions, he's pitched in by buying up as much Bernie merchandise as he can afford, with his own allowance. He reads about the campaign obsessively. He tries to convince his more conservative classmates of the error of their ways. He's attended rallies. In short, he's represented for Bernie every way a high school kid can.

He had planned to spend his July and August volunteering for Bernie at the local headquarters. Because of how the campaign unfolded, the local HQ never materialized. He's trying to make peace with this. He's trying to maintain his enthusiasm for the process.

In January I gave him Making of a President 1968, which he's finally finished.

"Bobby Kennedy never got to be President," my nephew said, "but he lives on in you. Maybe I can keep working for Bernie like that."

Bobby Kennedy lives on in you. I never thought about it that way, but it's true. And it's beautiful.

Maybe I can keep working for Bernie like that. The way Sen. Sanders comports himself this week is very important. I hope he continues to earn the place he has in my nephew's heart.

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Movie Nut's Meme 

WELCOME TO MY WHEELHOUSE! Movies are one of my favorite things.

What was you first movie-going experience without your parents? A re-release of the original Disney Parent Trap. I was with my oldest friend. Her mom was in the hospital and her dad dropped us off at the movie while he went to visit her. 4th grade, perhaps?

Do you still buy DVDs or Blu Rays (or do you just stream them)? I haven't bought a DVD in a while, but I don't stream, either. (Buffering makes me crazy!) I DVR things.

What is your guilty pleasure movie? What about it works for you? Oh! Valley of the Dolls. I adore it because it's clearly an expensive movie, but it's sooooooo tacky. I love it so very much. In fact, I may watch this trailer again, just to hear Patty Duke scream, "NEELY O'HARA!" and to see her snatch Susan Hayward's wig.

You have compiled a list of your top 100 movies. Which movies do you like, but would not make the list? You're asking me for my 101st and 102nd favorite movie? I've never tabulated it that way.

Which movie(s) do you compulsively watch over and over again? What makes it so great? The Way We Were. (If you didn't see that answer coming, you don't visit this blog often.). Babs makes it great. As does the message that to thine own self we must be true.

Classic(s) you're embarrassed to admit you haven't seen yet? Vertigo. I'm told it's Hitchcock's masterpiece and I am a huge fan of the Master of Suspense. Yet somehow I keep missing it. I think maybe because I don't like Kim Novak.

Do you have any movie posters hanging on your wall? If yes, which ones and why? Not currently. But I do have old Hollywood glamour shots dotting my hallway and a poster of Marilyn Monroe on my bedroom wall.

Tell us about a movie that you are passionate about. Psycho. It's so well made. It's so daring, especially for the time it was made. Every time I see it, I discover something else and am impressed anew.

What is a movie you vow to never watch? Why? Any movie that puts money into Mel Gibson's pocket. I won't support anti-Semitic, racist misogynists. (I'm funny that way.)

Tell us about a movie that literally left you speechless. The most recent one was Gravity. I don't like the idea of infinity and weightlessness and floating uncontrollably. Just thinking about that movie is making me uncomfortable again. Which, I think, means it a very good movie.

What’s a movie that you always recommend? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Behold the two coolest men ever.

Who is an actor you always watch, no matter how crappy the movie? I like movie stars, so this list is long. Judy Garland and Katharine Hepburn top the list. Of the current crop, I like Rachel McAdams. From The Family Stone to Spotlight, she's always so authentic.

Who is an actor you don't get the appeal for? Why don’t you like them? John Wayne. Because I find he lacks basic humanity.

Who is an actor, living or dead, you'd love to meet? Why do they intrigue you? Katherine Hepburn. I adore her. She blazed her own trail and left her mark. There's been no one else like her.

Sexiest actor/actress you've seen. (Picture required!)

OK, you are casting a movie, pick four or five actors you’d hire to be in it and why we’d love them together. Let's remake Holiday, with Emma Stone as Linda (the good sister) and Rachel McAdams as Julia (the bad sister), Michael Douglas (as their mean dad) and Matt Damon as Johnny (the free spirit they both love).

Who are your favorite actor pairing of all time? William Powell and Myrna Loy

Have you ever watched movies from a decade that was before you were born? If so, which decade is your favorite? I love movies and don't care when they were made! I suppose I'll go with My Man Godfrey. I'm old, but 1936 is still definitely before my time.

If you were to be in a movie would you rather play the hero, villain or anti-hero? Why?  I want to be in a 1950s Technicolor soap opera. It'll be set in a big office building. I want to play the secretary of a powerful businessman. I wear a hat and gloves to work every day, part of a wardrobe I couldn't possibly afford on my salary. I don't have a big part, but I make memorable wisecracks whenever I enter or leave the room.

I apologize for being glad

My niece broke up with her boyfriend. It would be more accurate to say he dumped her to get back with his ex. She was blindsided by this, and is heartbroken.

I, on the other hand, am glad.

I didn't like him. I found him to be a pretentious prick. I was also afraid they were going to get married. It worried me not so much because I was afraid they wouldn't be happy, but because I couldn't stand the thought of another weekend in the bosom of my family any time in the near future.

So, dear reader, do you hate me yet? Have I revealed myself to be a completely selfish monster?

OK, now that revealing the horror that is me is out of the way ... I'm also glad they broke up because this will be the first time my niece has been on her own. She went from her bedroom in her parents' home, to the dorm, to a shared apartment with her first boyfriend and now this romantic roommate situation.

For one who appears as independent and tough as she is, this seeming reluctance to be on her own bothers me. While I'm sorry she's hurting -- and I'm trying to think of a good way to reach out -- I'm also hopeful that she will learn a lot about herself, and her own resilience, as she copes with this heartache.

A Most Memorable Taste

BLM -- Chicago Tribune photo

I try to get to Taste of Chicago at least once every year. It's fun. The location is wonderful, right off the Lake and decorated by Buckingham Fountain. The food is delicious. What's not to love?

This year was especially memorable. My dining buddy was my nephew, who was proudly wearing one of his wardrobe of Bernie Sanders shirts. I love how informed he is, how passionate he is. He had intended to spend this time off school to work on Bernie's Presidential campaign and alas, that's not going to happen. But here's the thing: just like I'm a lifelong Kennedy girl (meaning I believe it's my responsibility to get involved, and to do what it takes to get the right things done), I predict that this Sanders campaign will leave its enduring mark on my nephew.

Because he's at such an impressionable age at such a turbulent time in our country's history, I was glad the day unfolded the way it did. A very large and vocal Black Lives Matter protest moved across the city, trying to make themselves heard by disrupting commerce on a busy summer Saturday. They hit major tourist sites, namely Millennium Park and The Taste of Chicago.

They marched. They chanted. They "died" (laying on the hot asphalt with their eyes closed). The CPD accompanied them, protecting them and us, without disrespecting anyone.

So we twice found ourselves in the thick of a protest on a hot summer day. He was transfixed. I tried to keep him moving -- even though I wanted to stand in place and observe and I suspect if it was up to him, we would have joined in -- because I am pretty sure that's what my sister/his mother would have wanted me to do.

I asked him how he felt about all this. Was he nervous? Scared? He responded by applauding.

I agree. What we saw today was a peaceful protest. America at its best. After the ugliness of the last week, it was heartening.

The protesters weren't thugs. The cops weren't Nazis. There was a dignity to both sides, and a sense of inevitability to the whole thing. We have a problem in this city, in the country, and we're never going to solve it without honest conversation. And we can't have this dialog if we keep denying that the problem exists. Dragging it out into the sun -- literally -- on this busy Saturday afternoon is a good start.