My niece broke up with her boyfriend. It would be more accurate to say he dumped her to get back with his ex. She was blindsided by this, and is heartbroken.
I, on the other hand, am glad.
I didn't like him. I found him to be a pretentious prick. I was also afraid they were going to get married. It worried me not so much because I was afraid they wouldn't be happy, but because I couldn't stand the thought of another weekend in the bosom of my family any time in the near future.
So, dear reader, do you hate me yet? Have I revealed myself to be a completely selfish monster?
OK, now that revealing the horror that is me is out of the way ... I'm also glad they broke up because this will be the first time my niece has been on her own. She went from her bedroom in her parents' home, to the dorm, to a shared apartment with her first boyfriend and now this romantic roommate situation.
For one who appears as independent and tough as she is, this seeming reluctance to be on her own bothers me. While I'm sorry she's hurting -- and I'm trying to think of a good way to reach out -- I'm also hopeful that she will learn a lot about herself, and her own resilience, as she copes with this heartache.
These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 65!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live just outside Chicago, the best city in the world. I'm an aunt and a friend. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
You don't need "a good way to reach out". Just call her. It will fall into place...
ReplyDeleteYou are not a monster. You are the voice of experience, hopeful your niece can avoid some missteps.
ReplyDeleteNot a monster at all. Your instincts have warned you about this guy for quite awhile now. Knowing that he won't be able to hurt her any more than he already has must be a relief, and eventually, she'll see that, too. In the meantime, taking her out for lunch or dinner and just letting her vent while you nod sympathetically will mean the world.
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