Old friend update

She was back to the hospital on Friday, but that was a good thing. They felt they had the capacity to care for her. Remember, Monday the hospital was overrun with covid patients -- unvaccinated covid patients! -- and even though my friend has a fever, is 65 years old, and suffers from both diabetes and heart disease, they couldn't treat her!

After a day of tests, they concluded that 1) she has a tenacious uti that has caused sepsis and 2) she does not have covid. They didn't admit her, but sent her home with antibiotics and prescription-strength ibuprofen. Hopefully next week she will be strong enough to go see a specialist (in his office; not at the hospital). Her medical team wants to control any kidney damage that this prolonged -- nearly 4 solid weeks! -- period of fever and infection may have caused.

She's sleeping comfortably but sleeping a lot. Fortunately she's retired and doesn't have to add worry about missing work to concerns about her health.

I'm so relieved. But I'm still pissed. I love her, and because of irresponsible unvaccinated people, she didn't get the care she needed as soon as she needed it. The stat I heard on the national news this morning was that 65% of hospital beds are filled with unvaccinated covid patients. 

Are people willfully stupid? The vaccine reduces the likelihood of transmission, hospitalization, and death. Just because you know a vaccinated/boosted person who got a breakthrough case doesn't mean the vaccine doesn't work. Did the vaccinated/boosted person you heard about end up in the hospital, or in the cemetery? No, of course, not. If you still don't understand, think of the vaccine and booster like a life jacket.

In the meantime, I'm just going to take comfort in knowing that the infection bedeviling my oldest friend is finally being treated. I love her very much.

Woman vs Machine

Or perhaps this should be: Woman vs Artificial Intelligence. I had a Lucy Ricardo moment, another of those times when I felt my life going ridiculously off the rails and yet I persevered ... for no particular reason.

Smash His Camera is the documentary about Ron Galella, the New York-based paparazzo who began making a name for himself in the late 1960s. I have a love-hate relationship with Galella. His work has given us a beautiful and generally flattering view of JBKO's post-White House life. I love looking at his photos. I hate what he did to get them. He stalked her, sometimes hitting her with his camera strap to get a reaction. Jumping out of bushes. Hiding in coat racks and behind retail counters. Using telephoto lenses. He bedded Jackie's cook to get her schedule and pursued her then young children and any Kennedy cousins he could find, hoping to get Aunt Jackie in the shot. (There's a scene in the movie where an adult Bobby Kennedy, Jr., asks Galella how old he is now and says, "Too old for jumping out of bushes, huh?") JBKO eventually took Galella to court for harassment. She got slammed in the press for an oversized sense of privilege (who does she think she is?), but she won and he could not come within 25 feet of her. I wonder if, had Princess Diana had the same steely sense of self and took on the press in the same way, she might be alive today.

Anyway, I learned that the documentary on Galella is now on Amazon Prime. I wanted to watch it. I was initially thwarted by my voice remote. When I asked for "Smash His Camera," I was told by my TV screen that I have no camera monitored by Xfinity. OK ... I asked for "Ron Galella." No results. I eschewed the voice feature and dove into manual search mode, laboriously key stroking first S-M-A-S-H-space-H-I-S-space-C-A-M-E-R-A and then R-O-N-space-G-A-L-E-L-L-A. I reaped no rewards, but a touch of carpal tunnel.

The mature side of my brain was telling me to say "what the hell" and move on. Unfortunately, my stubborn side is more powerful. I went to my laptop, logged in to Prime, and found it rather easily using my QWERTY keyboard and Amazon's superior search function. I watched online through the credit frame, and then went back to my TV. EUREKA! Xfinity/Prime asked me if I wanted to continue watching. Yes, please!

Was it worth it? Kinda/sorta. I tuned in for Jackie but also enjoyed the meta moments at the beginning, where Galella is still tracking an aging Robert Redford after all these years. On his way into the hotel where Redford is being feted, Galella notes a crowd of younger photographers and fans and asks who they're waiting for: Angelina Jolie. "I wish I was shooting Angelina Jolie instead," he says wistfully. I wonder if that got a laugh at Redford's Sundance Film Festival, where the documentary won an award.

 

One of us has changed

Yesterday afternoon I was waiting to hear from my new boss, Marilyn. I was a little nervous about it, a little unsettled, because she and I are just getting to know one another and I'm not sure we approach work the same way. Spinning the dial, I was happy to land upon The Seven Year Itch. A frothy comedy with (that other) Marilyn's most iconic scene: her dress blowing up as she stands on the subway grate. I went into it thinking it would be a lovely distraction from stress.

I'd seen the movie start-to-finish at least three times before. I'd always enjoyed it. Monroe was completely charming, and director Billy Wilder is one of my favorites (The Apartment, Sunset Boulevard, Some Like It Hot).

I was disappointed by how The Seven Year Itch made me feel in 2022. It struck me as dumb and smutty. ALL Tom Ewell's character thinks about it sex. He ONLY sees The Girl (Marilyn's character doesn't even have a name!) as objet de desir. He never stops trying to maneuver her into bed. (He doesn't ever just ask her, he's forever trying to trick her.) The movie no longer seemed silly or light. It was offensive.

Obviously, it's the same film it was when I saw it in the 1970s and the 1980s and 1990s. So I've changed, it hasn't.

One thing hasn't changed, though: Marilyn Monroe was luminous. Charming. Her appeal is immutable and immortal.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Moody Blue (1977) 

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song was recorded in the special studio Elvis had built in the Jungle Room of Graceland. During the pandemic, have you made like Elvis and worked from home? We quit working onsite in March 2020, and here we are, almost two full years later, still working from home. We began going in one day/week in November, but omicron squashed that. I kinda miss the city, but frankly in this cold (the mercury dipped to 17º in the afternoon this past week) I don't miss the commute.

The New Yorker created this reasonable facsimile of my dining room, where I WFH

2) Elvis sings that his girl is completely unpredictable. Which quality to you find more attractive: spontaneity or dependability? In my 20s, I would have said spontaneity. I thought wild and unpredictable men were sexy and exciting. With time I see the other side. Wild and unpredictable men may also be childish and disappointing. I would have done better with dependable.

3) He only performed the song once in concert. In February 1977, shortly after the record was released, Elvis sang "Moody Blue" live in Charlotte, NC, but had to rely on lyric sheet. Crazy Sam can sympathize because she seems to forget passwords as soon as she sets them. Do you often struggle with your memory? I'm noticing typical -- but frustrating -- old age stuff. Like the other night, neither my oldest friend nor I could remember the word "malingerer." We were all, "The military word for 'lazy!'" "Frank used to say it on MASH!" "When you're in the Army and pretend to be sick!" I finally Googled it. Otherwise we'd still be shouting definitions to one another.

4) "Moody Blue" was the final hit of Elvis' lifetime, only getting to #31 in the US but reaching #3 in the UK. What's your favorite Elvis song? I have many. This is the first one that popped into my head. (He had me at "Lord Almighty!")

I saw Aloha from Hawaii when it was first broadcast. I was in high school, and I watched it live in the livingroom with my mom. We were having a great time, especially after she reminded me she and Elvis were less than a year apart in age. When he'd swivel, bump or grind, I'd tease her and ask, "Why don't you do that?" My dad grumbled, "I hate Presley," got out of his recliner and left the room. I thought, "Good for Elvis! Still pissing parents off after all these years." 

5) We're focusing on Elvis this week because January 8 would be his 87th birthday. He enjoyed celebrating his birthday by renting the Memphis movie theater and watching the latest movie with an invited group of friends. What's your favorite way to celebrate your birthday? Dinner with a friend. Free grub and good conversation! What could be better?

6) For his 11th birthday, young Elvis asked for a rifle or a bicycle. His mother deemed the gun too dangerous and the bike too expensive and instead gave her son his first guitar. Tell us about a memorable birthday from your youth. The year I turned 8, my mom called the mother of a classmate who had recently moved and invited Janet to my party. She now lived only a town or two over, but when you're 8, that might as well be Siberia. My friends and I were so excited to see Janet again! She brought an Addams Family card game as my birthday present.

7) Elvis loved horses and kept them in the stable at Graceland. His favorite was a palomino named Rising Sun. To honor both horse and rider, Elvis' daughter has always kept a palomino in the stable whose name includes "sun." The current resident is Tuscan Sun. Known as "Tucky," he's lived at Graceland for more than 20 years now and is a favorite of Alene Alexander, who maintains the stable and reports he has "attitude and knows he's prettier than everybody else." Tell us about an animal who holds a place in your heart. Reynaldo died in September, and I still miss him every day. He could be a monster, but he was also very affectionate and fully engaged in life.

My little man, looking deceptively angelic

8) Throughout his life, Elvis had trouble sleeping. As a preteen, he was a sleepwalker. As an adult, he battled insomnia. Is sleep an issue for you? Well, I wake up in the middle of the night for about an hour every night. I get something to drink or go to the bathroom, watch a little TV, and doze off again. I don't know that it's an issue, since I'm used to it.

9) Random question: Do you wear your shoes in the house? Seldom. Usually slippers.

 

Thursday Thirteen #240

Thirteen Books I enjoyed in 2021. I read 47 books this past year. Some I loved, some were just OK. Here are the thirteen I enjoyed so much they now feel like friends.

1. The Princess Bride by William Goldman. I originally read this back in the 1970s, when I was still living at home. I loved it then, and I'm happy to report I love it now. If you have seen the movie, you only know half the story. The romance and high adventures of Buttercup and Westley are all here, but so are William Goldman's bittersweet ruminations on how different life looks to him as an adult. (I think this is the book I've given as a gift to the most people over the years.)

2. Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie. Hercule Poirot isn't on a case. He's just trying to get back to London from Istanbul. Even though the luxurious Orient Express train is fully booked, a friend, who works for the railway pulls rank and gets him onboard. There's a murder. The train is stopped by a snowdrift, so no one can get on or off. The passengers are trapped with both the corpse and the killer. And the world's most brilliant detective, who figures it all out in 250 of the most entertaining pages I read all year.

3. The Purple Diaries: Mary Astor and the Most Sensational Hollywood Scandal of the 1930s by Joseph Egan. Mary Astor was a successful and hardworking actress, best remembered today for  The Maltese Falcon and Meet Me in St. Louis. She was also unlucky in love. Widowed at just 24, she fell hard for a doctor who rocked her world. Confusing sex for love, she married impetuously and soon regretted it. Unfortunately, she and the doctor had a daughter before they realized how incompatible they were. He returned to his old girlfriend, she took a lover (a famous playwright) and they would have just gotten a sophisticated divorce ... if not for her diaries. Once the doctor found the diaries and saw how his wife had written about him, he was wounded and wanted revenge. He'd keep her diaries private if she'd give up custody of their little girl. Astor surprised him by risking her career (remember, this was the 1930s) and fighting for her daughter. The "sex diary," and what may or may not have been in it, was covered every newspaper, magazine, and radio station in the country! Studio heads actually pressured her to give up her child. She withstood it all. I liked Mary Astor for her steel spine and I appreciated how Joseph Egan brought the America of the 1930s to life.

4. Kennedy's Avenger by Dan Abrams and David Fisher. There's no question that Jack Ruby killed Lee Harvey Oswald. The shooting took place on live TV. So this account of Ruby's trial holds no suspense as far as the defendant's guilt or innocence. But Abrams and Fisher give a complete, three-dimensional view of Ruby, his crime, and the atmosphere in Dallas that ended with a conviction. A fascinating exploration of a story I thought I knew.

5. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir by R. A. Dick. A short, romantic and surprisingly spiritual novel about a meek young widow who finds herself in a secluded cottage, under the care and tutelage of a dead sea captain who sees her more clearly and understands her better than everyone she encounters in the "real world." Every Ordinary Lucy should have someone in her life who sees her as a Beautiful Lucia, even if he's a ghost.

6. Someone We Know by Shari Lapena. A twisted tale of suburban paranoia. Raleigh is a typical teenager with a gift for computers and a penchant for breaking and entering. He amuses himself by sneaking into neighbors' homes and hacking into their laptops. Raleigh doesn't do it for financial gain, just kicks. But the fun goes out of it when one of the neighbors gets dead.

7. My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing. Holy shit, this is even darker and more twisted than the Lapena book. But it has stayed with me. Our narrator adores his wife. She's a beautiful redhead, an accomplished real estate agent, a good mother to their teenagers. But the magic has gone out of their relationship. They're drifting apart. They need a hobby to bring them back closer together again. They settle on murder. By the time I was done with this book, I was freaking delighted to be a barren spinster.

8. Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho by Stephen Rebello. Psycho is a better movie than it needed to be. It could have just been a commercial slasher flick. Instead it's a haunting film, beautiful in its own way. If you care about movies and how they're made, you'll enjoy this book.

9. The Last Boy: Mickey Mantle and the End of America's Childhood by Jane Leavy. This book presents Mantle as the equal-but-opposite of that other mid-century American icon: Elvis Presley. Mickey had a sunny smile, Elvis was known for his sexy sneer. They were both insanely talented. Neither was terribly bright, and they both cracked under the pressure of adulation. Where Elvis turned to drugs, Mickey drank. They both died as parodies of their earlier, gorgeous selves (Fat Elvis, Skeletal Mickey). While this book ultimately left me sad, there is much in it that's glorious. If you love baseball like I do, you'll enjoy the insights and tales of Mantle's on field heroics. Like The Babe, Lou Gehrig and Joltin' Joe, Mickey Mantle was a Yankee Great.

10. Peyton Place by Grace Metallious. This book was a national sensation the year I was born. It spawned an Oscar-nominated movie and the first nighttime soap. It's still part of the vernacular, decades later. So I figured it was time for me to finally read it. It's much better written and far more compelling than I expected. It's not really about sex, it's about the toxicity of secrets. The courage of Selena Cross, insisting on holding her head high, confident that she'd done nothing wrong, has stayed with me. It's a far from perfect book, but certainly a compelling one.

11. Ma'am Darling: 99 Glimpses of Princess Margaret by Craig Brown. This is not a conventional, linear biography. It tells the story of Queen Elizabeth's rogue, star-crossed sister in a series of anecdotes from throughout her most public life. I enjoyed it as much for style as for content. A highly original book.

12. Paul Newman: A Life by Shawn Levy. Paul Newman's dying words to his daughters were, "It's been a privilege to be here." It seems he lived his life believing his accomplishments started with lucky breaks and he was determined to deserve them. He considered himself lucky to be born handsome, to have survived WWII without so much as a scratch, to have happened into acting, to have found great love with Joanne Woodward. He tried to earn what he'd been given through hard work and by giving a fortune to charity. He was not a perfect man, his faults are cataloged. But he seems to have been a good one. I enjoyed my time with him here as much as I enjoy his films.

13. Patriarch: The Life of Joseph P. Kennedy by David Nasaw. Even if he hadn't been father to a President, two Senators, a philanthropist and and an ambassador, Joe Kennedy's life would have merited a biography. Investor, real estate titan, and movie mogul, he wore many hats and accomplished much (but he was never a bootlegger; that myth is dispensed of rather thoroughly). He was often less than admirable, but he was never dull. His story is the story of America in the 20th century. A fascinating, sweeping story well told.

I used to TT religiously back in the day. (Here's #239.) Let's see if I can get back into the swing of it.

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

 

Trying not to be angry

But not succeeding. I mentioned that my oldest friend has been battling a fever of unspecified origin for weeks and weeks. She also suffers from diabetes and heart disease.

When her fever spiked again on Monday, her doctor recommended she call 911.

Know what she was told? That there isn't a hospital near her with an available bed.

The hospitals in her Southern California county are simply overwhelmed by covid patients. Mostly unvaccinated covid patients. She was prescribed another round of antibiotics and will see a specialist early next week.

So her health is at risk because of the willingly unvaccinated. Let that sink it. I wonder how many other victims of their stubborn resistance are out there.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? 150 Glimpses of The Beatles by Craig Brown. The story of The Fab Four and their impact on the world, told through anecdotes from people who knew them. Or studied them. Or loved them, whether up close or from afar. It's an interesting device. Because it's not linear and the stories so very wide ranging, I am always surprised by what comes next. 

Here's a sample "glimpse" from Melanie Coe. She and Paul McCartney intersected twice. In 1963, when the Beatles were just on the cusp of superstardom and she was an affluent 14-year-old, she won a lip synch contest judged by Paul. Melanie parlayed this into a gig as a backup dancer on a BBC teen show, which sent her spinning into a sophisticated world she was unprepared for. In 1967, Paul read a story in The Daily Mail about a runaway 17-year-old girl. Melanie's father told the reporter he couldn't understand why she would leave her car, fur coat and comfortable bedroom. Not realizing this girl was the one he'd met four years before, he was inspired to write "She's Leaving Home."

As a passionate and lifelong Beatle fan, I can follow along with 150 Glimpses easily. I wonder, though, if it's as much fun for someone not as familiar with the Lads from Liverpool.

 2. What did you recently finish reading? And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. (AKA "Ten Little Indians.") What a nifty little thriller this is! Ten strangers are summoned to a luxury house on a secluded island. Three (a secretary and a maid/butler married couple) are hired to work for the couple renting the house. The other seven come from various walks of life and are lured by the mysterious, unexpected invitation for a free vacation.

Strange, but their hosts and/or employers aren't there to greet them and never show up. Horrifically, the 10 strangers find themselves being knocked off. One by one.

I knew the story when I picked this book up, having seen the two versions of the movie. I was surprised that the book ends differently. I won't give anything away, except to say that the book (while more of a downer) makes more sense. Sometimes, I'm afraid, happy endings aren't in order.

3. What will you read next? I'm not sure.

 

Why did I even look?

Looking at my old and dear friend John's Facebook page (he posted a most handsome pic in a Santa hat), I saw that he's still in contact with a woman named Pamela. I kinda/sorta remember Pamela from the long ago 1980s when John and I first met. 

For some reason, Pamela made me think of Trudy. Trudy and I worked at the same company and moved in the same crowd between 1981-1987 and were frequently rivals. We even both slept with the same guy (the one I ended up wasting my twenties with). I looked her up on Facebook and Google.

Trudy lives in Rhode Island. She moved from advertising to real estate and now she sells software. She's 65 this year, so I assume she's thinking of retiring. She's been divorced three times (!), had two children with Husband #3 (now adults), and vacationed this past summer with an age appropriate man at Glacier National Park.

I don't know how I feel about any of this. Still competitive, I guess. Trudy had a beautiful Christmas tree this year and her home looks far, far nicer than mine. On the other hand, she couldn't cut it in advertising and I'm successful. I'm not sure which is more embarrassing: to be a barren spinster or a three-time divorcee. 

Why does any of this matter to me? Here it is, the last day of my vacation, and I wasted an hour on a woman I literally haven't set eyes on in 35 years.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is just another reason why I'm in therapy.  

Sunday Stealing

Looking Back on 2021.

1. Something that made you cry this year? I had to say goodbye to my cat, Reynaldo. I adopted him as a kitten 17 years ago. I tried to give him a good life, and he was a wonderful (if frequently exhausting) roommate and I miss him.

2. Something you want to do again next year? Travel! I just got back from Key West and I have plans to attend the TCM Classic Film Festival in April. If you're not vaccinated/boosted, please reconsider. My heart will break if the Film Festival is postponed or cancelled (again) due to covid. I'm sure everyone has plans that are important to them, as well. Let's try to pull together to combat covid.

3. Talk about a new friend you made this year. Elaine from movie group. In addition to sharing my passion for classic films, she's an animal lover like I am. She's rather insisted we become friends and at first her persistence freaked me out. Now I'm glad she's in my life. She's thoughtful and positive and enthusiastic.

4. How was your birthday this year? Speaking of Elaine, we were supposed to meet for my birthday but she cancelled at the last minute because she was in a car accident. I was miserable about it in the moment, but ultimately it didn't matter. First of all, her safety and welfare are more important than my birthday dinner. Secondly, we ended up celebrating a few weeks later anyway. PS I had birthday presents to open from out-of-town family and friends and also celebrated with John and Joanna, just not on the day.

5. Favorite book you read this year? I read many I liked this year. The most interesting was My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing. A scary, creepy, thrilling book.

6. What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? I should drink more water. I unconsciously found myself reaching for milk or Coke instead of H2O. This is not good for me. I must work on that.

7. Post a picture from the beginning of the year. Toilet paper was very important in 2020, wasn't it?

8. Post a picture from the end of the year. This was the view from our table as we enjoyed lunch on Christmas Day in Key West. The Gulf of Mexico was beautiful, and I was with people I love.

9. A memorable meal this year? The best burger I had all year was at Bites, an Asian restaurant. I know, I know. I should order the crab rangoon or sushi rolls. But I'm telling you, their burgers are freaking AWESOME!

10. What are you excited about for next year? Making improvements. I want to make incremental changes to my health/wellness routine and my home that will make will make me happier.

11. What’s something you learned this year? That this pandemic has been hard on everyone. That everyone feels they have lost something. We need to be kinder to one another.

12. What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? Sorry, but I don't understand this question, since now is the start of the year.

13. Favorite place you visited this year? I went to Wrigley Field with my nephew in July. It's been my favorite place all my life, and he's one of my favorite people.It was also the last time I would ever see my favorite-most ballplayer, Anthony Rizzo, as a Cub.

14. Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I don't recall making any.

15. Will you make New Year's Resolutions for 2022? Not per se, but I do aim to move more and drink more water.

 

Saturday 9

 Saturday 9: The Promise of a New Day (1991)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

 

 

Welcome to the first Saturday 9 of 2022.

1) In this song, Paula Abdul celebrates the promise of a new day. Here at Saturday 9, we're celebrating the promise of a new year. What do you hope 2022 will bring? For the world I hope everyone takes steps to save their own lives and the lives of their neighbors by getting vaccinated/boosted against covid. For myself, I hope for greater peace of mind.

 

2) She sings that we should see the wisdom from mistakes of the past. What wisdom did you gain in 2021? I don't know if this is wisdom, exactly, but I have become more sensitive. More compassionate. There's an old country song based on a Bible verse: "Walk a Mile in My Shoes." The lyrics say, "Before you abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes." I've heard this sentiment my whole life, yet for some reason in 2021 it finally resonated. I think it's a combination of battling covid myself at the end of 2020, and an exercise initiated by my congregation. I hope to carry this with me for the rest of my life.

 

3) What is something you'd like to spend more time doing in 2022? Drinking water. Does that sound dumb? I find I no longer like the taste of my good old Lake Michigan tap water. (Another after effect of covid?) Unless I consciously think about it, I reach for hot tea, milk or (worst of all) Coke instead of water. I think I may be dehydrated, which exacerbates my creaky joints. So I'm going into 2022 with a drawer of bottled water in my refrigerator.

 
4) Paula Abdul was once a "Laker Girl" and performed at L.A. Laker games. Do you have a favorite NBA team? Nope. I'm always thinking about baseball and don't have room in my heart for any other sport. (Just exchanged texts with my newly-minted sportswriter nephew about the MLB lockout. No end in sight. Sigh ...)

 

5) In 2009, she hosted RAH!, an elite cheer leading competition.  Do you remember any cheers from your school years? We used to do this one as our team was preparing for a free throw. It could be why we seldom won: "15 rahs for the Bulldog Team: Hey rah, rah, rah-rah-rah! Hey rah, rah, rah-rah-rah! Hey rah, rah, rah-rah-rah!"

6) While famous for performing, Paula has arguably been more successful for her work behind the scenes, winning an Emmy for her choreography. Are you comfortable being the center of attention? Or would you rather work behind the scenes? I've become more of a performer in the later years of my career. Part of it is that I've built a relationship with client, and I know they want to like my work which makes me eager to share it with them. Part of it that I know my creative partner doesn't want to present.

 

7) She taught actor Val Kilmer how to dance for his role as Jim Morrison in the biopic The Doors. What talent, knowledge or advice have you recently shared? Actually I'm trying not to share advice anymore! In the past year I've become very discouraged by my friend Henry and a former coworker, Warren. Both men seem so unhappy with their lives right now, lonely with too much time on their hands. I've recommended to both of them that they volunteer in their neighborhoods. I find helping others to be so satisfying and I tried to share that. I even researched charities for both of them. They both just give me excuses. Now that I've tried, I have to give up. As my friend Patrick tells me, quoting Al-Anon, I must "detach with love" and let them learn from their mistakes. (I am not good at this. Not at all. But I see the wisdom, even as I struggle with it emotionally.)

8) Paula was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in 2005 and uses a prescription biologic every day to help her cope with pain in her toes. On your last trip to the drug store, did you pick up a prescription, or something else? Bottled water (see #3) and a can of Spaghetti-ohs for the food pantry. (Kids love Spaghetti-ohs.)

9) Random question: You have been house-hunting for months. You finally find your dream home and are just about to say "yes" when you spot a mouse scurrying across the floor. Would you take the house anyway? Probably. But I would mention it before the final home inspection. I'd want to know how Mickey is getting in and how much it will cost to fix the problem so I can adjust the price.

 
 

My New Year's Eve Date

Ben Mankiewicz is the prime-time host on TCM. A group of us classic movie nerds (including Will from my movie group) watched him introduce the first of six Thin Man films and then we live-tweeted. Before the movie started, I treated myself to a steak, mashed potatoes, and bread pudding. I was going to have a drink at midnight, but didn't get around to it. As I compose this post, I'm in clean pajamas and fresh sheets, because that's how I want to wake up on New Year's Day.

Last year I didn't do anything for New Year's Eve because I was emerging from covid. I realized that I'm fine doing nothing on New Year's. In 2020, missing my birthday broke my heart; no Thanksgiving was a definite bummer; the curtailed Christmas left me a little melancholy. But doing nothing on New Year's? It didn't bother me. This year it felt prudent and safe.

I think I have stumbled upon a new tradition.

By the way, Ben Mankiewicz has better hair than any New Year's date I ever had in my long, real life.

Just naturally blabby, I guess

 Butch Cassidy: How come you're so talkative?

Sundance: Just naturally blabby, I guess.

My oldest friend and I dearly love that movie. Maybe it's because it stars the two coolest guys ever. Or maybe it's because we're both just naturally blabby. Since last Thursday, we've clocked well over 3 hours on the phone.

She's been sick for weeks. She began running a fever just before her birthday (12/11) and couldn't shake it until the day after Christmas. She's tested negative twice for covid, so that's good news. Bloodwork has also eliminated leukemia, which is very good news.  While we know what she doesn't have, we don't know what she does have. After the new year, she needs to see a rheumatologist. Her GP suspects she has some autoimmune disorder. Considering her symptoms -- fever, chills, fatigue, hair loss, weight gain -- I suspect Hashimoto's disease. I'm keeping my Google search diagnosis to myself, since it's possible/likely I don't know what I'm talking about. She has two other serious chronic conditions -- diabetes and heart disease -- so whatever it is, it should be treated promptly. However, it's not covid or leukemia, and so we have reason to think positive.

While depression has been decades long struggle for her, she seems to be in a good place now and I enjoy her so much. No one makes me laugh harder than she does. Also, since we've known each other since Kindergarten, we have each other's history. The older I get, the more I appreciate that.

So this morning, I'm happy/sad. Happy because I feel that over this holiday season, we really re-connected. Sad because she's not well. I hope that, as she take off on her journey to wellness, she'll continue to feel blabby.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.  

1. What are you currently reading? And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. I don't usually read mysteries back to back, but while reading The Sugar Cookie Murder (below), I was reminded of this wonderful old Christie chestnut. What if you were trapped inside with a group and knew one of them was a murderer ... but didn't know which one? In the right hands, that's scary stuff.

It's no reflection on Joanne Fluke that Dame Agatha does it better. She used this device in Murder on the Orient Express (train) and then in And Then There Were None (a deserted island). 

I've seen both movie versions of this story many times so I know the outline well. Yet I'm very, very into it. There's a luxury mansion on a secluded island. Everyone in the UK is talking about it. Who is renting it this month? A movie star? Put in today's terms, pretend it's a house a Kardashian used to live in. 

Anyway the mysterious Mr. and Mrs. Owen have rented it and hired a couple to maintain it, as well as a secretary for Mrs. Owen. They did all this through correspondence. Neither the butler/maid nor the secretary have met their new employers. Invitations went out to seven strangers who can't figure out why the Owens have chosen them for a visit, but they're too drawn by the mystery, glamour and luxury to say no to the free vacation.

Ten people arrive at the island mansion, but Mr. and Mrs. Owen are not there. There's only one way off the island, by boat, and the boat won't be there again for days. (Since this is 1939, it's not like anyone can use their cellphones.) And now, one by one, the ten begin to die.

Hooked yet? I am.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Sugar Cookie Murder by Joanne Fluke. This seasonal murder mystery is long on Christmas spirit and short on murder. Know that going in.

Hannah lives in a small town in Minnesota. All the citizens are inside the school for a holiday testing and tasting party. The best recipes will make The Lake Eden Holiday Buffet Cookbook. Snowfall turns into a blizzard and it looks like everyone will be snowed in with music, good friends, great food and ... a murderer! For Hannah finds a corpse in the parking lot, and the killer could not have made it through the drifts surrounding the school.

I enjoyed the interaction among the characters. This is my first foray into the world of Lake Eden and got a kick out of everyone. The mystery itself? Eh. I was more interested in the romance between Hannah and Officer Mike. I wish there'd been more plot ... and more kissing!

 

3. What will you read next? I don't know for sure, but I'm ready for non-fiction.

 

Christmas Eve/Christmas Day 2021

The happiest I saw Henry was at church on Christmas Eve. He seems to feel he belongs with his congregation. He's lonely and rudderless since quitting his job, but among his fellow church members, he seems more comfortable and even a little happy. "Happy" is in short supply in Henry's and Reg's lives.

I loved it, too. Rev. Steve is very warm and a good speaker. His Christmas message was so positive. He likened each of us to the star that led the wise men. When we act out of love, we become like the celestial phenomenon that lights the path for others. When we find ways to love and grow, we lead the way. I love that sentiment. We can show we're grateful to God by being good to others and lighting their path with kindness.

After the service Henry and I had a fancy, if disturbing, dinner. He ordered the octopus appetizer, telling me over and over how excited he was to see it on the menu. His mother made octopus all the time and he always enjoyed it. I ordered the coconut shrimp entree with a side of rice. When our plates came to the table, Henry took mine. Now I've never had octopus before, but I know what rice looks like, so I know he took my plate. I didn't want to embarrass him, so I let it go. He ate my coconut shrimp and declared it just like the octopus his mother used to make. As I ate his octopus (which tasted like mussels), I found myself getting progressively freaked out. Our dinner conversation wasn't any more festive. He was dismissive of my fears about crime in Chicago. He insisted it really isn't that bad, that Miami is worse. It was freaky. He moved from Chicago decades ago and hasn't even visited in 17 years. He's never lived in Miami. What the fuck? I was happy when Reg joined us for coffee and finished Henry's plate. He never had octopus before and was surprised it was cooked with coconut (!).

Why must Henry argue about everything? Why does he think he understands what it's life to live in post-pandemic Chicago, or Miami? And why can't he taste the difference between octopus grilled with lemon and coconut shrimp? 

Because he's living with a traumatic brain injury. 

Talking to him is unpleasant and exhausting. I love him, of course. I was happy to try to be there for him, and to give him companionship and to give Reg a break. But I understand why he's lonely. Just conversing with is work. No wonder people no longer seek him out. I wish he was happier. I wish his brain worked. 

Christmas was only marginally better. Both Henry and Reg were emotional, missing their families (Henry's in Puerto Rico hadn't called for either his birthday or Christmas; or if they did, he missed the call and didn't check his voicemail). I realize Christmas can be a melancholy time, so I tried to cut them slack and I dialed up my own merry.

We had a light lunch at a beautiful setting on the Gulf of Mexico. 

Isn't this gorgeous?

Henry and Reg decided against gifts and that was fine. It was enough that we were together. Patrick and I exchanged, though. I had a mug made for him -- pictures of him all over Key West that will remind him of his "island home" when he returns to Maine. He gave me a book about movie making, told in anecdotes from the experts. The only really weird part was that Henry kept insisting that while he was enjoying his lobster quesadilla, it was nowhere near as good as the octopus he'd had the night before (I'm not kidding).

I had a turkey club sandwich. Hey! It's Christmas and I demand turkey! Because it was my last big meal in Key West, I went old school. I had a Key Lime Colada with my lunch and Key Lime Pie for dessert. (I like green.)

Our car was parked near the Custom House, a beautiful building that's home to the Key West Art and Historical Society. Out front is a bronze sculpture Pondering the Benefits of Exercise by Seward Johnson. I got such a kick out of it. I always like his work.

It was a good Christmas. Not a perfect Christmas, but it doesn't have to be perfect to be a good Christmas. Me and Patrick, Reg and Henry. We all love each other. That's what's important. I just hope 2022 is happier for those guys.

Duval: Where delightful meets despicable

Duval is the main drag. Key West's top tourist trap. I've always loved it. Henry, Reg and Patrick avoid it whenever possible, but not this girl. I'm only in town for a few days and I'm not going to pretend to be a local. I'm a Chicago girl on vacation so bring on the jewelry kiosks and the cafes and souvenir shops!

This year was different though. Disturbing. I've been going to Key West and doing The Duval Crawl for, literally, decades. The t-shirts have always been, in my mother's word, "smutty." Save a horse, ride a beard. Mustache rides: 25¢. They call me drywall because I'm well hung. You get the idea.

This year they are far filthier. Donald Trump flipping the bird with: Impeach this. Joe Biden with: Not My President. "I don't need sex. The government fucks me every day." Yes, this ugliness is for sale next to the muumuus and the sea shell earrings.

I walked this street when George W. Bush was President. When Obama was President. When Trump was President. Sex sold better than politics in those days, I guess. Or maybe the loyal opposition wasn't this hateful.

I also saw our fellow citizens not wearing masks but proudly wearing all manner of "Let's Go Brandon." Worst of all, I actually saw a man with a shirt emblazoned with an automatic weapon and the question: "Does my patriotism offend you?" No, but I'm offended that you equate a gun with burst mode with love of country. 

Hillary Clinton may have been inartful when she referred to these people as "deplorable," but she wasn't wrong.

Oh well, it made my shopping easier. I refuse to spend my money in a store that sells this filth. I'll take sex over hate any day. Isn't capitalism great?

On the plus side -- and nothing is ever all bad -- I found this place. Dancing Fingers Massage was delightful. New to me and a godsend! Clean, affordable and quiet. The 15-minute foot massage was only $20. I felt positively rejuvenated. I'm only sorry I didn't discover them earlier in the week. The flight down was 3 1/2 hours spent folded virtually in half. I think I could have benefited from Dancing Fingers on my back, too!

My oasis!

Here's a happy new year sign. At midnight on New Year's Eve, a drag queen named Sushi will descend from this 8 foot stiletto to ring in 2022. Now this is the Key West I know and love!

 And where else but Duval can you see a cigar that looks like Elvis?

Mrs. Always-Right takes the waters

My 2021 nail color is Essie Mrs. Always-Right. One of the beauty sites calls it a "fierce terracotta rose pink cream nail polish." I like it because it doesn't chip and looks good with both my blue and black sandals.

This year Mrs. Always-Right didn't venture very far into the Atlantic Ocean. The first three days I was there (Wednesday through Friday), the temperature didn't make it past 75º. I love that sunny, warm-but-not-hot weather but it didn't inspire to me go running into the sea.

No one else seemed so inspired, either. Here's the scene by the Southernmost Beach Resort. You'll see chairs as close to the water as possible, but not a single soul wading in. 

But I'm my own girl. I rolled up my jeans and let my toes experience the salt water and sand. I also think this is where I got a bug bite. For some reason, I'm always the one who gets bit. I get raised bumps and this one ended up developing into a bloody rash. (Don't worry, I didn't memorialize it with a photo.) Not painful, really. Just itchy and I was glad it was covered by one of the straps of my sandals.

On Christmas Day, we had something of a Christmas miracle and the mercury rose close to 80º. It gave me a chance to put on my suit and take Mrs. Always-Right to the hotel pool.

 

This was the view when I was doing the backstroke

I like snow. In the winter, it feels right and natural. But I want to remember doing the backstroke on Christmas morning and seeing the sun bearing down on me through leaves and fronds. For people in Key West, this is right and natural, too. And it's all beautiful.

Henry's birthday

December 22 was Henry's 59th birthday. I'm glad I arrived in Key West in time to celebrate with him. He's been quite lonely since he left his job at the library last spring. I hope my presence made him feel a little less alone.

Henry and their friend Patrick met my flight. (Very smooth, non-stop!) Henry's husband Reg was waiting in the car. He dropped us off at my hotel and then went back to work, promising to pick us up in time for dinner at Henry's favorite restaurant.

We had a nice lunch. Henry seemed to be in good spirits, even though he was unhappy about turning 60. Understandable, I suppose, except that he's not 60. I know because I'm 64 and he's 5 years younger. I asked him for his drivers license and showed him he was born in 1962. He says it "doesn't matter" because he "feels 60." Oh, Henry. This is just a taste of what our visit would be like.

But still, Henry was happy with his present. I got him a mug, personalized with a photo of him, Reg and his dear friend Sherry. I explained it was to remind him of how much love he has in his life. I also gave him a $25 gift card to Banana Republic. There's a factory outlet store on Duval. I knew Henry wouldn't have purchased a Christmas present for Reg and I thought picking something up at the pre-Christmas sale would cheer him up. Henry chose a gold polo, explaining that Reg only wears black and Henry was sure he'd look handsome in the brighter color. I thought that was so romantic, after all these years and all they have been through, that he likes how his husband looks in lighter and brighter shades.

Dinner was fine. I thought Henry was drinking too much -- he had two pinot grigios with lunch and another two at dinner! -- but he seemed happy, if a little subdued. Henry was sitting at one side of the table between Reg and Sherry. I was happy to be sitting with Patrick. He's a smart man who makes me laugh.

After dinner I went back to my room and decorated for Christmas. My Santa door hanger, plus a tiny nativity, a kitty ornament (because I missed Connie and Roy Hobbs) and a photo of me and my favorite grandpa. My aunt gave me the framed picture last month for my birthday and looking at it makes me happy.