Saturday 9

Saturday 9: When Love Goes Wrong (Nothing Goes Right) 1953

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.





1) This is from the movie Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Have you seen it? A million times. Here's my favorite (and the most famous) scene.



2) The lyrics tell us that, when love goes wrong, "a match won't light." When did you most recently light a match? Probably some birthday candles, but I don't remember. I don't think I even have matches anymore.

3) The duet is performed at a French sidewalk cafe, where Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe are (literally) sharing a cup of coffee. With whom did you most recently have coffee? I never drink coffee, but to be less literal, the last time I went on a coffee break was back in mid-March, when I still working at the office. I remember standing in the coffee room with Carla from production, as she sipped her coffee and I waited for my tea to brew.

4) The tune was written by prolific composer Hoagy Carmichael. He was influenced by his mother, who earned extra money for the family playing piano during silent movies. Who in your life influenced your career choices? When I was a secretary (back in the days when we were still called "secretaries"), I worked for an officious, rather silly man. One of the company's few women VPs had the office next to his, and she took a liking to me. "Doesn't it bother you that you're smarter than your boss?" she'd ask me. She gave me pep talks all the time, and when the opportunity arose to take the test to become a copywriter, she literally placed it in my hands (and into the hands of her own secretary). Her name was Celeste. I'm eternally gratefully to her. She really paid it forward.

5) Jane and Marilyn shared something beyond movie stardom. They were both married to Hall of Famers. Marilyn Monroe was married to Joe DiMaggio, who was inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame in 1955. Jane was married to quarterback Bob Waterfield, inducted into the football Hall of Fame in 1965. Which sport would you rather watch: baseball or football? Cubs baseball.

I miss my guys

 6) Jane and Bob Waterfield were high school sweethearts at Van Nuys High. The Southern California school was used as a set for the 1982 movie, Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Tell us something about your high school. Here's a cheer: We are the bulldogs, the mighty, mighty bulldogs. Everywhere we go, people wanna know, who we are. So we tell 'em: We are the bulldogs, the mighty, mighty bulldogs ...


7) Marilyn and Joe DiMaggio met on a blind date at a Hollywood restaurant called Villa Nova. Have you ever arranged a blind date? If so, did the couple hit it off and end up dating? Nope. I've never set anyone up.

8) In 1953, when Gentlemen Prefer Blondes was released, a tornado did severe damage to Waco, TX. Tell us about a major weather event that you endured (tornado, hurricane, flood, blizzard, heat wave, etc.). In 2011, we had the storm known as the SNOtorious BIG. More than 21" inches of snow fell. It was quite exciting. Of course, I'm on the fourth floor and don't have to shovel.

9) Random question: You see a filthy puddle. Floating on top are cigarette butts, a leaf, and a $1 bill. Would you bend over and rescue the dollar? Ew. Ick. No.

Born to Run

Reynaldo had a trip to the vet. He enjoyed it thoroughly. So much, in fact, that he's taken to sleeping in his carrier near the door. My girl cat, Connie, avoids the carrier like the plague (or should I say corona virus?) because it means outdoors, strange smells, scary sounds, unfamiliar hands and perhaps even a shot. But not Rey. He's built for adventure. As soon as this hot spell ends, I'll take him to park.

The vet reports he's in generally good health for an old man, but he is an old man. A 16-year-old cat is the equivalent of an 80-year-old human. So it's not surprising that his vision is failing -- which explains why sometimes when he leaps onto tables or countertops, he misses. He sleeps more soundly than he used to. He's lost a little weight.

The vet recommends I feed Rey whenever he begs. And Rey begs a lot. He wants to see us again in six months.

It's so hard for me to get my mind around the fact that my companion, sparring partner and love bug is old.

June 5

"Now it's on to Chicago and let's win there." Those were the last words Bobby Kennedy ever said from a podium. June 5, 1968. Minutes later, he was shot.

I've been thinking about Bobby all day. I remember a speech he gave about violence, just two months before he died. Fortunately I was able to find it on YouTube. Unfortunately, every syllable of it is relevant today. Please watch it.



I am so lucky that I grew up on the Kennedys. That they're the ones who shaped my world view. I feel bad for the kids today who feel that the self-aggrandizing bully in the White House represents public service.

It takes a village to raise a MacBook from the dead

My work computer crapped out completely as soon as mandatory work from home began. It caused me enormous stress. The idea of the virus was still new to me then (after all, it was 82 days ago), and I didn't know how I could do my job without a laptop loaded with the proper programs.

I went downtown that day, even though we were told to stay home. I went to IT, still there with a skeleton crew, and all three of them agreed my computer was "dead." With all the chaos caused by the pandemic, there wasn't anyone available who could authorize a loaner. Fortunately I brought my personal little MacBook Air with me -- it really is that light! -- and they loaded what they could onto it.

Flash forward to now: Over the next two weeks, we're all supposed to go in and clean off/clean out our workspace of personal items so maintenance can do a deep clean. This is in preparation of the office beginning to reopen next month.

I sent an email to Mr. Man, the head of our agency, asking him if he could arrange someone to be onsite to give me a new computer. I pointed out that three months' of wear-and-tear on my personal laptop isn't fair, and for security reasons I should do client work on an agency laptop. I closed by kissing his ass: "If you can't authorize a new computer, no one can!"

No one can. He put the head of IT on the case, who does not want any of his staff coming in to the office "prematurely" to give me a new laptop. He assigned Stephen to help restore my laptop. Over the phone.

Stephen was not at all optimistic. He kept saying, "Don't get your hopes up."

Well, it took four hours over two days, but we got the old piece of shit up and running! I can access all my old files (yea!) and email, but that's it. It's not capable of Zoom or WebEx meetings ... for some reason. It won't let me access certain websites ... for some reason. Stephen said that, if he were able to actually handle the machine and play around with it, he might be able to find a solution to these problems, but for now, this is the best he can do.

I can use it for work, Monday through Friday, and give my MacBook Air a well-deserved rest. I'll have to switch back to my personal machine for online meetings, but what the hell.

My takeaway in all this is that Mr. Man is not really in charge of our agency, he just thinks he is. IT runs the world.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW.WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt us to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

   
1. What are you currently reading? The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank. I have been using this time of isolation to connect with books that, for whatever reason, I bought but never read. This one doesn't quite qualify. I read it initially when I was a young girl myself, and then this 1995 edition made its way into my life when my niece was a baby. I distinctly remember being sad that the the little innocent I held in my arms would someday know about the horrors of the Holocaust.

 

Well, a quarter century has passed. My niece is taller than I am and engaged to be married. The book is still heartbreaking. Anne's positive, upbeat approach to each day, her yearning for real intimacy with the people around her, make what she will endure even harder to accept. In her ability to be every girl, she makes the horror real. 

I'm not enjoying it, but I'm not sorry I'm revisiting it. Especially now.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Profiles in Courage by John F. Kennedy. Every biography of John F. Kennedy includes reference to Profiles in Courage and how it gave his career credibility. So it's true that I've read about this book without ever understanding what the book is about.

It introduces us to 8 different Senators, each of whom took a courageous stand for what he believed in. That's distinct from saying these men did the right thing. I'm not sure Kennedy agrees with what they did as much as admires the fidelity to their beliefs and willingness to risk all for principle.

Three of the stories captured my attention and imagination. John Quincy Adams opposed his state's economic interest in favor of the nation's well being; Edmund Ross voted against the impeachment of Andrew Johnson; Robert Taft argued that the Nuremberg Trials were dangerous because the defendants were guilty of ex post facto laws. Like Kennedy, I came away admiring these men for their passion and sincerity, if not necessarily for the stands they took.
 

As a lifelong Kennedy girl, there's something in the writing I found fascinating. Throughout the book, JFK reminds us that beginning in the 19th century, newspapers had tremendous impact on the opposition these Senators faced at home. We know how, during the 20th century, Kennedy himself mastered TV while carefully maintaining positive relationships with print journalists. How would he view and use social media?

3.  What will you read next? I don't know.

May Music Meme -- Day 31

A song you love to sing loudly. (Play along! Click here for prompts.)

Sunday Stealing

CONVERSATION STARTERS

1. What do you think is the greatest television show of all time? My opinion on this changes, but right now I'll go with The Dick Van Dyke Show. The writing has stayed remarkably fresh -- it seldom seems sexist and it never devolves into racial stereotypes. Every episode is a mix of sophisticated and physical comedy. Dick Van Dyke is so good it's ridiculous, and I like Laura Petrie better than Mary Richards. It's rerun every night on the Decades cable channel.

I'm in good company; it was Orson Welles' favorite show, too.

2. Would you rather win a Nobel Prize or an Academy Award? An Oscar. I shall invoke a great actor and raconteur, Richard Burton, who reportedly said everyone wants an Academy Award because then they'll know how their obituary will begin. (He never won one.)


 
3. What one food would you banish from this earth if you could? I wouldn't. If I dislike a food, I think that's on me, not the food. However, if I could, I'd decree that raw tomatoes never again appear in my salads or on my sandwiches.

 
4. What’s the scariest story you’ve ever heard? Not the morning to ask me this. I woke up in a city recovering from a riot and a country battling not only a virus but crazy citizens who aren't even embarrassed when they refer to wearing a mask to protect their neighbors as "oppression."
 

5. Who is the most famous person you have ever met? Here's the story of the night I met Bruce Springsteen.

6. What’s something you’ve done that most people wouldn’t know or guess about you? I rode an elephant.

7. You’re strapped in a rocket ship about to go to the moon. Are you thrilled? Or terrified? Beyond terrified.

8. What is the correct way for toilet paper to sit on the roll? There is only one answer to this question.

It's stupid how much I care about this.

 

9. Talk about a mistake you made, or something you regret. I stayed too long in a bad relationship.

10. What would be the best gift I could give you? A thing: A Target gift card. I feel like I'm there all the time. An intangible: Serenity.

11. What makes you feel better when you’re sad or stressed? When I look at my cats curled up like fur shrimp.

12. What is the most romantic movie you’ve ever seen? So many to choose from! This morning, I'll go with It's a Wonderful Life. That scene when George and Mary are on the phone ... I cannot wait for that first kiss! Sigh.

 

13. What is the worst date you’ve ever been on? I've had my share of bad dates, but no single "worst" springs to mind.

14. What is the glue that keeps couples together? Loyalty. I think you have to decide to stay.

15.  What was your first crush. Our next door neighbor's son, Billy. His black hair literally glistened in the sun. He was in his 20s, I was in Kindergarten. I used to soap his hubcaps as he washed his car in the driveway and he said I was such a good helper, he wanted to marry me. I was really pissed that he not only wasn't waiting for me, but, since my family was invited to the wedding, I had to watch him marry HER. (Her name was Sandy and she used a lot of hairspray.) He had an undiagnosed heart problem and died suddenly just a few years later.
 
16. When did your parents talk to you about the birds and the bees? Kindergarten. I was in the bathtub when my mom explained it to me.

17. What is your greatest achievement? I've been there for those who need me.

18. Were you close to your parents growing up? My mom, yeah. My dad, not so much.

19. What was the most life-changing event you’ve ever experienced? The 2016 World Series. I know that sounds superficial, but I love baseball. And I come from a family of Cub fans. I felt so connected to those who went before me,  privileged to see something my dad, my uncle and my grandparents never did.

The final out: It's in Rizz' glove!

20. Have you ever had a falling out with a friend? What happened? Yes. It still hurts. Here's the story, if you want to read it. I just don't feel like rehashing it today.

Systems overloaded

My heart hurts. My soul hurts. Downtown is being looted. Macy's State Street windows shattered. Dumpster fires outside the Hyatt. Police cars bashed with 2x4's. This is not a protest, it's a riot.

•  We've seen Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd murdered, primarily for being black.*
•  There's a virus outside that could kill us. (1400 new cases in Chicagoland today.)
•  Unemployment has escalated to near 20%.
•  Our President thinks it's appropriate to respond to all this by tweeting, "When the looting starts, the shooting starts."

In the face of all this, some douchebags are still actually complaining about their "oppression" because they are required to wear masks when they get their hair cut!

I just can't stay plugged into it anymore. There's real danger outside my door in the form of a virus. Some of my fellow Americans are suffering very real systemic marginalization, while others insult us all by clinging to their imagined victimization over masks and quarantine.

I had a telehealth session with my new shrink today, and she picked up on my fatigue. It's not unnatural, she said, and it's OK to look away. I think it's more than OK. I think it's advisable.

Instead of the Sunday news shows, I'll tune into church. We're still worshiping on line. The services are so well-attended we had to move from Zoom to YouTube. I'm grateful that my minister loves us enough to keep us safe and in our homes ... and that he will reliably be there tomorrow morning when I need him.

*For contrast, check out how UConn student Peter Manfredonia was handled by the justice system. He's suspected in two murders. Authorities found messages sympathetic to the Sandy Hook killer scrawled in red on his walls. A multi-state dragnet brought him in safely so he can stand trial. Naturally he is white.

George Floyd may or may not have passed a counterfeit $20 bill. He was executed in the street by a bad cop. Naturally he is black.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey (1971)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) The lyrics tell us Paul believes it's going to rain. How's the weather where you are today? Beautiful! Sunny and about 70º!

2) Paul sings that he is sorry because he hasn't "done a bloody thing all day." What do you hope to accomplish this weekend? I have to write an email to the President and COO of our agency. My company computer died and I've been working from home on my personal laptop, which isn't fair. That's a lot of wear and tear on a machine purchased with my own money for my personal use. It's just that, when my work laptop crapped out, no one in IT had the authority to issue me a new one and, with everyone working from home, they couldn't reach anyone who could approve a new one. Well, yesterday, Mr. President encouraged us to reach out to him if we need anything, and if he can't approve a new machine, no one can. Still, I'm nervous. He's not the warmest guy you'd ever meet. I should just write the damn thing and get it off my conscience.

3) He also references butter pie, which is made primarily with potatoes (with onions and, of course, butter). That dish is not popular on this side of the Atlantic. Last time you had potatoes, how were they prepared (baked, mashed, hash browned, french fried ...)? I don't remember the last time I had potatoes, but I hope next time they will be mashed.

4) Linda McCartney is credited as co-writer and performer on this recording. Paul and Linda were partners in real life, too; married 29 years, they raised four children together. They often said they tried never to spend more than a few hours apart. Do you enjoy a lot of togetherness, or do you value your personal time? Has your experience with Covid19 and quarantine changed how you feel about this? I am very comfortable being alone. But the pandemic has taught me to value my friendships more and I appreciate it so very much when people reach out by email or phone.

5) Paul and Linda came from very different backgrounds. His family was lower middle class, lived in Liverpool's public housing and received government aid. She grew up in affluent Scarsdale, the daughter of a wealthy theatrical attorney. Do you think it's more important for a couple to share a common background, or to share common interests? Common interests. BTW, I saw Paul at Soldier Field in 1990. We were in the fifth row, and saw a lot that the audience farther back would have missed.  Linda was on keyboards, positioned on an elevated riser behind Paul. He was very solicitous of her, holding her wrist as she moved around behind him in the dark between numbers. By this point, they'd been on the road for a year, so I assume that she was familiar with the stage layout. Yet he continued to look out for her. It was touching.

6) Paul is known for his work ethic. At age 78, he's still making music and performing live. What's your favorite Paul McCartney song?


 

7) In 1971, when this song was a hit, Bobby Fischer was the world's most famous and highest-rated chess player. Do you play chess? No. I don't have the patience.

8) England's Princess Anne turned 21 in 1971. The occasion was commemorated by a formal portrait, taken by celebrated fashion photographer Norman Parkinson. Who took the most recent photo of you? I did. It was a selfie of the top of my head, which I sent to my friend John. He was so curious about how my roots were growing in.

9) Random question: Do you find it more satisfying to work with your hands, or your head? My head. My manual dexterity is not that great.

Fell asleep proud, woke up relieved

Yesterday, Chicagoans took to the streets to protest the murder of George Floyd. At first, when I saw this, I was frightened for my city. We're still healing after Laquan McDonald's death. But the afternoon protest was peaceful and respectful, with both police and protesters wearing masks.

From the SunTimes

Peaceful marching is the most appropriately American way to make ourselves heard. George Floyd's conviction and execution under the knee of a brutal cop is certainly a more worthy exercise of our  rights than grabbing a long gun and driving to the state capitol to whine about corona virus safety procedures.

Unfortunately, there was looting overnight. Arrests and two reported injuries. Disappointing to be sure, but I don't believe it was really a protest. I suspect that was opportunistic, and had more to do with stores reopening for business and merchandise returning to store windows as it did with George Floyd.

Still, when I woke up this morning and saw what happened in Minneapolis, Atlanta, New York, Los Angeles and our neighbors to the south in Lexington, I'm relieved and proud of my city. 

May Music Meme -- Day 30

A song that reminds you of yourself.  Actually, my friend Henry told me this song reminded him of me.

•  Loves her mama (check)
•  Loves Jesus and America, too (check)
•  Crazy 'bout Elvis (check)
•  Loves horses (check)

Yup.


  (Play along! Click here for prompts.)

May Music Meme -- Day 29

A song you remember from childhood.  (Play along! Click here for prompts.)

I wish today's kids had him

In 1994, when the Oklahoma City bombing occurred, my oldest friend's son was in Kindergarten, going to school half days. Because the bombing destroyed a daycare center, she tried to limit his exposure to news coverage. She didn't want him to be scared to return to school.

While she was in the kitchen preparing dinner, she heard Bill Clinton's voice coming from the TV. She went into the living room and saw her little boy, transfixed. He'd been channel surfing and landed on Bill. My friend made a quick decision in the moment. She let the press appearance play out, because she was afraid if she raced over and changed the channel, she'd just be adding drama and import to a moment he may not even understand.

Bill Clinton began:*

The bombing in Oklahoma City was an attack on innocent children and defenseless citizens. It was an act of cowardice and it was evil. The United States will not tolerate it. And I will not allow the people of this country to be intimidated by evil cowards.

He went on to say:

Let there be no room for doubt, we will find the people who did this. When we do, justice will be swift, certain and severe. These people are killers and they must be treated like killers.

He closed with: 

Finally, let me say that I ask all Americans tonight to pray; to pray for the people who have lost their lives, to pray for the families and the friends of the dead and the wounded, to pray for the people of Oklahoma City. 

Bill was followed to the podium by Attorney General Janet Reno. My friend's son was completely uninterested in her and popped to his feet, moving from the TV and heading for something else to do.

"Wait a minute," my friend said to her little boy. "Do you want to talk about this?"

"He's mad and he's gonna catch the guys, and we're supposed to pray."  

When Bill Clinton addressed the nation, he did it in a way that spoke to us all. He sounded sincere, and even a little boy understood and was comforted.

Children know who the President is and what he is supposed to represent. I wish that today's kids had a President who could speak this naturally and compassionately about the pandemic that has interrupted their lives. They can't go to school, they can't play sports or go to dance class, they can't visit their grandparents. They likely know someone who has battled the corona virus, and perhaps even died. 

It would be nice if they could see a President explaining, in simple terms, that hand-washing and masks will help keep us all safe. That he has the nation's best doctors working on this. That we should pray for those who are sick.

Instead, Donald Trump's twitter feed is filled with political grievances against Jim Comey, Barack Obama and Twitter itself. Yesterday, when the nation reached the sobering benchmark of 100,000 Americans dead of the virus, he didn't address the country. He let someone read a statement.

How sad and disappointing (though not surprising). 

Bill Clinton is a far from perfect man. I know, believe me, I know. But he was a good President for his times. I miss having a good President.

*The Clinton quotes are verbatin from C-Span.

May Music Meme -- Day 28

A song by an artist whose voice you love. She is known as a leather-lunged lady who can belt, like Judy or Whitney. But singing softly she's just as good. She's a singing actress with a fabulous voice. This is how I sound in my dreams. BTW, this is from Funny Lady, a shitty movie with a fabulous soundtrack. (Play along! Click here for prompts.)

Cautiously hopeful

I spoke to Henry so long, and so loudly, Monday evening that I woke up hoarse. He called to, of course, complain about his husband, Reg. Complaining is really all he does these days. It's exhausting. For everything Henry complains about is unreasonable. In Henry's worldview, he's always the helpless victim and the only one suffering.

Case in point: He made Reg aware that there was birdshit on the car hood. There were three cars on the street, but only their car was "targeted." Reg replied that he had no explanation and went back to what he doing. ("Just playing on the computer," Henry said.)

Henry said that they don't have $600 to have the car repainted, so this is a problem. What did Reg plan to do about it? Reg grabbed a roll of paper towels and Windex, went out and started to wipe away the birdshit. Henry followed him to tell him he was doing it wrong, that he should be using soap and water. Reg threw the paper towels and Windex on the ground and stormed back into the house, warning Henry to leave him alone. Henry followed him there, too, asking Reg why he was so mad. Words were exchanged. Reg told Henry to leave him alone so he could "just take a fucking nap."

"For how long?"

"Forever!"

Then Henry segued into his problems receiving unemployment and his stimulus check from the State of Florida. I told him the stimulus check was from the Federal government and he should check the IRS website to see where it is. He was dismissive. He doesn't know where Reg keeps their tax "stuff."

"Listen to yourself!" I said, disgusted. "You're an adult! Why don't you act like an adult?"

"What do you mean? I am responsible. I take my pills on time. I walk the dogs."

"Why didn't you clean the birdshit off the car? Why don't you check on your own stimulus check?"

I explained to him that he has no empathy for anyone in his life, that he seems to think we're all public utilities like water, expected to be there when he turns on the faucet. I pointed out that maybe, just maybe, Reg was doing something on the computer that was important to him, that gave him joy ...  Henry interrupted to complain some more and I snapped.

"How am I?" I shouted. "Am I scared of the corona virus? Are my friends and loved ones OK? You don't know because you never ask me about me. All you want to do is bitch about your own life."

"But I try! No one understands me. I try every way I can think of."

"No, you haven't tried every way you can think of. Have you called Dr. Rivera?" She's the mental health professional he saw a year ago as part of couples counseling with Reg. He likes her. His insurance would cover sessions with her.

"Reg would have to drive me. It will make him mad."

"Reg would be proud of you for taking the reins! He would not be mad at all."

Round and round and round we went. Finally he promised to call Dr. Rivera.

"You promised to call Dr. Rivera back in February," I said, sad because I was putting those sweaters away for the season and he still hadn't called.

I told Henry I know how lonely and misunderstood he must feel. I told him his unhappiness hurts my heart. But it's on him to do something to fix it. I reiterated that I love him. I always end each call by telling him I love him.

"I promise I will call Dr. Rivera tomorrow."

Exhausted, I wished him a good night.

Tuesday afternoon I received a pair of texts that made my heart sing.

First,

Left a detailed message for Dr. Rivera. She has not called back. But I kept my promise. 

Then,

I called my state legislator. Her assistant will help get my unemployment $. I am emotional, but I can do stuff. 

Yes, Sweetie, you can! I know you can!

I just hope you will.

 

May Music Meme -- Day 27

A song that breaks your heart.  (Play along! Click here for prompts.)

May Music Meme -- Day 26

A song that makes you want to fall in love.  The video for this song has been removed for some reason. Here are Don Henley's lyrics.

"The Last Worthless Evening"

I know you broke up with him
And your heart's still on the shelf
It's been over two years for me
And I'm still not quite myself
You can't be with someone new
And you can't go back to him
You're beginning to realize
That it's sink or swim

I see you around sometimes
And my heart just melts
You're lookin' like if you had your wish
You'd be somewhere else
And it just breaks my heart
To see you here this way
Someday I'll get the nerve
To walk up to you and say

This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
Just gimme a chance
To show you how to love again
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
'Cause I'll be there
When your broken heart is on the mend

Every night it's the same old crowd
In smokey rooms
You catch a faint glimpse of love sometimes
But it never blooms
I've been around this block a time or two
And I've made some big mistakes
But girl I promise you, I promise you

This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
Just gimme a chance
To show you how to love again
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
'Cause it won't be long
'Till your little heart is on the mend

People inside their houses
With the shades pulled down

God knows, we could use some romance
In this sleepy bedroom town
I know you're still afraid to rush into anything
But there're just so many summers
And just so many springs

And this is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend, baby
Just gimme a chance, gimme a chance
To show you love again
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend 'cause it won't be long
'Til your little heart is on the mend

That you'll have to spend
Just gimme a chance to show you how
To love again
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend 'cause it won't be long
'Til your little heart is on the mend

 (Play along! Click here for prompts.)

Feeling grateful and respectful

To those who gave all

This memorial is tucked in a corner of the River Walk. It's a respectful distance from the bars, the hot dogs and the ice cream stands. It touched my heart.

May Music Meme -- Day 25

A song you like by an artist no longer living.  My favorite Aretha (1942-2018) recording was cowritten and originally sung by Sam Cooke (1931-1964). Play along! Click here for prompts.

It started out promising ...

I made my hotel reservation for Christmas in Key West. Usually I would have done this weeks and weeks ago, but with Covid19, well, it just didn't feel safe or prudent. Yesterday it felt forward thinking and hopeful.

America has been having problems. My dear friends Henry and Reg have been having problems. But I have faith that we -- all of us! -- will be OK. And to prove it, I booked a room at a new-to-me bed-and-breakfast. I've passed it a million times and love the history of this place. There's been a hotel on that spot since 1885!

When Henry called me last night, I was excited to share the news. He claimed he couldn't remember which hotel I was referring to. I thought maybe it was his TBI playing tricks on him. But no, I don't think that's what it is.

Henry only wants to talk about Henry. He got a hair cut yesterday. I asked him if he wore his mask the whole time and he said yes, and so did the stylist. He told me that he expects to be called back to his job at the library soon, but he's frightened. This surprised me, because he's spent so much energy bemoaning his medical leave. He told me with -- tremendous gravity -- that three people in Key West have died from the virus

"Did you know them?" I asked. I thought maybe that's why he thought three was such a staggering number.

"No. But do not worry. I am being careful. So is Reg."

"I'm not worried about you, Honey, I'm worried about me. I live in a hot spot. When I go back to work, it will be in a city where 3000 people died."*

"Oh. That is too bad. I think Reg is sick of me. I am tired of being cooped up with someone who is sick of me ..."

It occurred to me that it didn't matter to Henry who he was talking to. This is upsetting. Not because of our friendship: he had an accident and a resulting brain injury. It is what it is. I am committed to this relationship, come what may.

But Henry's mental condition is deteriorating. He was able to talk about things other than himself five months ago, when we were all together at Christmas. I remember specific conversations about former coworkers and about movies. I don't think he could have those conversations today.

It's hard to watch this because I feel helpless. The one who holds the key to Henry's treatment is Reg. He needs to get Henry to a neurologist who can assess Henry's condition as it is now -- 19 months after the accident -- and review his medications. There isn't a doctor who can do that in Key West, they would have to go to Miami. But with neither of them working, with the pandemic restrictions on travel, it's too hard for Reg to set this in motion.

And there's this: something is stopping him. I think it's Boiling Frog Syndrome. You know how it goes. If a frog is dropped into boiling water, it will jump out. But if you put the frog in warm water that is slowly brought to boil, he'll be cooked to death. Spending 24/7 with Henry, day after day, I'm not sure Reg has noticed Henry's creeping egocentrism.

Oh, how I miss my old friend, Henry!

*I lied for effect. The actual number for Cook County is 2,889.

Sad but true

My friend Patrick posted this on his Facebook feed. He didn't mean to offend me. He was just expressing his painful experience with a certain segment of Christians. Besides, he said he doesn't automatically think of me as Christian because I'm "too loving."

Let that sink in.

I still don't agree with him, but I understand where he's coming from. Let's take the current situation. You can refer to it as the pandemic, or the corona virus, or Covid19, or just the virus. If you still refer to it as the China virus or the Wuhan virus, you are choosing to use a term that you know stigmatizes people. And you just don't care who you hurt.

Certain Christians can flood their conversation, their blogs and Facebook feeds with Bible verses, but when they say China virus or Wuhan virus, they show that they really don't care who they hurt.

Let that sink in, too.

Sunday Stealing

SABOTAGE

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Person? No. Critter? Certainly.

2. What’s the closest thing to you that’s red? My water bottle, which is purchased at The Coca Cola Store in Las Vegas.

3. Did you meet someone new today? No. But it's not likely I would, since it's still early on a Sunday morning during a pandemic.

4. What are you craving right now? A bit more sleep. I woke up early to go to the bathroom and the cats decided it was time for breakfast. They herded me away from my bedroom and into the kitchen.

5. What comes to mind when I say “cabbage.” Corned beef.

6. What does your last text say? "What did it say?" No, really, that's what it said. My friend Kathy sent me a text saying there was an article I ought to read.

7. Do you bite into your ice cream, or just lick it? Ice cream cones get licked. Ice cream bars get bit.
8. Do you like your hair? No! I haven't been to the salon since February 29. I have an appointment for 1:30, June 6.

9. Do you like yourself? Most of the time.

10. Do you like cottage cheese? Never

11. What are you listening to right now? Willie Geist on the Today Show
12. Is there anything sparkly in the room where you are? Nope

13. How many countries have you visited? Five: Canada, France, Luxembourg, Switzerland and Germany.

14. Are you sarcastic? Moi? Non!

15. Have you ever crawled through a window? I vaguely remember climbing through the window of a classmate's garage back when I was in high school. We needed the key to the gate around her pool. To be honest, I don't recall if I actually climbed through myself, or helped her do it. 

 

May Music Meme -- Day 24

A song by a band you wish was still together. 2/9/64. Nothing was the same ever again.  (Play along! Click here for prompts.)

May Music Meme -- Day 23

A song you think everyone should listen to. You know, I'm surprised how many Elvis songs I've chosen this month. And yes, everyone should listen to this. Here's a message that's far more healing than selfish whining or Qultist imagined "tyranny." Let's put "we" ahead of "me" and dream of a  country "where hope keeps shining on everyone." (Play along! Click here for prompts.)

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Battle Hymn of the Republic (1963)

Unfamiliar with Judy Garland's rendition of this week's tune? Hear it here.



Memorial Day is the federal holiday designated to honor American service people who died in battle. 



1) On May 30, 1868, President Grant presided over the Memorial Day observance at Arlington National Cemetery. Have you ever visited Arlington Cemetery? Yes. I've been to Washington DC twice and went there both times.

2) On Memorial Day, it is customary to fly the flag at half-staff until noon and then raise it to the top of the staff until sunset. Will you be flying the flag at your home this weekend? No. I'd like to, but all my windows face the same way, which means the only ones who could see my flag are the next door neighbors. I feel the same way about Christmas lights -- the decorations seems to be lacking something if you can't see them from the street as you pass by.

3) Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day, because flowers and ribbons were left on graves of soldiers.  Do you find solace in visiting cemeteries? Not really.

4) The lyrics to this week's song were written by Julia Ward Howe in 1861. Her inspiration was a White House visit with Abraham Lincoln. In 2020, under normal circumstances, public tours of the White House are available but you must request your ticket in advance from your Member of Congress (House or Senate). When you travel, do you plan your trip weeks before you go? Or do you decide how your days will unfold once you reach your destination? If I'm going somewhere like our nation's capital (with many sights to see) or Vegas (with shows to be booked), I plan in advance. Otherwise, I play it by ear.

5) Judy Garland performed this week's song before a live audience as a tribute to President Kennedy, who had been assassinated just weeks before. She knew Kennedy personally and considered this a farewell to a friend. While the performance was difficult for her -- at one point she flubs the lyrics -- she believed it was important, and could perhaps help the country heal. Tell us about a song that reminds you of someone you loved who is no longer with us. This was my uncle's favorite song:

 

He was married twice and had countless girlfriends. I wish I'd asked him which lady was gentle on his mind. He was a very young man when it came out, so maybe it was one of those songs that brought back a happy time in his life and not a specific woman. But I'll never know because I never asked him. I regret that.

6) John F. Kennedy served in WWII and was awarded a Navy and Marine Corps medal and a Purple Heart. His brother Joe also served and was awarded the Navy Cross, but he received his citation posthumously, having died during a flying mission over East Suffolk, England. Here at Saturday 9, we consider everyone who serves a hero and want to hear about the veterans and active military members in your life. 

•  My dad was a corpsman in the Korean War. He was really good at butterfly stitches, which made him popular in the neighborhood. I remember kids with cuts and scrapes coming over with their moms to be tended to, and to avoid a trip to ER. 

•  The uncle I mentioned above served in Vietnam. I was 8 when he was discharged and I invited him to school for show and tell. I was so proud when he showed up in the doorway of my classroom, in his uniform. He looked quite tall, sitting on the radiator, taking questions from my classmates. I remember he stressed teamwork.

•  My oldest nephew was recently discharged from the Navy. He never saw any action, but his service was valuable because he readied the aircraft carriers that did. His first job out of the service began in March. He's now a firefighter in Washington state.

 

7) Memorial Day is considered the beginning of the summer season. Will you be enjoying warm weather this weekend? It's supposed to be in the 80s. Rainy, of course. It's rained a lot this month.

8) Berries are especially popular in summer. Which is your favorite: strawberries, blueberries, blackberries or raspberries? Strawberries.

9) If you could attend a Memorial Day picnic with any fictional character, which would you choose? Jo, from Little Women. Her father was wounded in the Civil War and must have had comrades who died, so Decoration Day would have special meaning for her. Remembering how willingly the March family did without while her father was away, can you imagine how disappointed fiery Jo would be in some of us today, whining about something as simple as wearing masks, just to protect one another?

Fins to the left, fins to the right

Valerie is our receptionist. Since our office has been shut tight for two months already and will likely be closed for one month more, she was furloughed. No need to have anyone greeting visitors if your office is closed. But she was able to keep her benefits. Which is good, because her son was just hospitalized with the corona virus. He required a ventilator to breathe. A very tall adult male, he's still under 26 and on his mom's insurance. He is, thankfully, expected to make a full recovery.

Ivy is my friend Nancy's daughter. She's a 21-year-old who just finished her junior year at Minnesota's Macalester College. When school let out early this year, Ivy decided not to come home to Chicagoland but instead crashed with a friend who has an apartment in St. Paul. She planned only to stay until stay-at-home restrictions were lifted, but now she can't come home. Both she and her classmate have the corona virus. They are, thankfully, expected to make a full recovery.

So much for the comforting myth that only residents of old folks' homes get the virus.

It's out there. Covid19 is out there, and every day that goes by that it hasn't touched me or someone I love, I'm grateful.