June Challenge -- Days 14 and 15

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14. What do you notice when you're casually observing people? I take public transportation a lot, and I like to see how my fellow commuters while away the time. Talking to one another, talking on their phones, texting on their phones, reading books, occasionally dozing off ... no one (but me) reads the newspaper on the train anymore, and no one flips through magazines.

15. What would you say to Michael Jackson? First of all, this is a very odd question. But secondly, I'd ask him how he could have screwed Sir Paul over like that. Buying the Beatles catalog out from under his "friend" was a crappy thing for Michael Jackson to do.

Let's start with the good

My niece graduated last Friday. Cum laude! I'm so terribly proud of her.

My sister and brother-in-law were hit very hard by the Recession. Plus, neither of them went on to college. He is a maintenance man, she is a lunch mom at the grammar school she once attended. Consequently they were not especially supportive. They didn't get in my niece's way, but they didn't help, either.

My late mother, while very proud of my niece's grades, didn't encourage her either. She didn't want her granddaughter to go away to school because she imagined the girl would get homesick. This amused me, because it was obvious my niece couldn't wait to get away and be independent. But it made me mad because it was my mother's fear talking. My mother was born, lived and died in the same suburb -- all white, predominantly Protestant, with a population that has hovered around 20,000 for my entire life. That village was her entire life, she was afraid of/incurious about the world outside of it, and didn't want her granddaughter to venturing too far away.

For my part, I pushed my niece toward Kendall. It's Chicago's top culinary college, it has a national reputation, and it would have exposed my niece to the city's premier restaurateurs. In my way, I was as wrong as my mother was. I wanted my niece to follow the path I took. I've always loved The Big City, and can't imagine living anywhere smaller than Boston or maybe Washington, DC. That's what I wanted for my niece. Of course, it's not what she wanted for herself.

She did the research, she got the grant money and the recommendations, she visited the campuses. It came down to Kendall and CIM at Baker College in Muskegon. Kendall was offering her the most money, but it was more expensive. She'd have to live at home. So she chose CIM at Baker. She needed space. She wanted to forge her own identity.

She did it! She got good grades, going to school year-round while juggling part-time jobs -- waitress in the winter, attendant at the miniature golf course in summer. She earned that diploma.

After the ceremony, we met her faculty adviser. He thanked her parents and me for helping shape "this wonderful young woman." To her credit, my sister said it before I could: "She did it on her own."

I had a terrible time during this trip, though. It represented one of the lonelier 24 hours of my life. Because I was with my family, and I don't especially like my family. More about that some other time. This realization makes me too sad, and up until now that has been such a happy post.

June Challenge-- Playing Catch Up

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That's me on the left

10. What are your bad habits? I'm a slob and a packrat. Because of the burgeoning bug problem, I haven't been able to donate my stuff when I part with it. I've had to throw it away. It's very hard for me. For once I arrive home, I hate doing work of any kind, and housework is by its very name "work." And because I hate waste. Throwing away a bag of t-shirts that were still wearable caused me nearly physical pain. And I have very low standards. As long as no one sees how I live, I truly don't care.

11. What do you think is something worth dying for? To save something smaller and more vulnerable. Though I must admit this was a hard one to answer. Nothing came instantly to mind.

12. What would you say is your biggest fear in general? Air travel! I'm very proud that I made it to and from Muskegon this past weekend without the assistance of Xanax.

13. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change and why? I would want the United States to wake up and institute common sense gun laws. That whole argument about how the way to stop a bad guy with a gun is for a good guy to have a gun was proven wrong this past weekend. An armed, uniformed off-duty policeman didn't stop a mad man from mowing down over 100 people. What will it take to wake us up?

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: My Friends Call Me Tulip

Can you stay inside all day without getting bored? Oh, yes! All my books and magazines, and my laptop and TV, are all here.

Tell us about a TV show that we should watch. Mad Men is the best TV show I've ever seen. Stay indoors and binge watch it.

When was the last time you were at your home computer all day? ALL day? No incident comes to mind. But I have worked from home for hours at a time, many days, evenings and weekends.

What websites other than your own do you visit daily? Many, many, many.

Do you have a favorite day of the week? Why? During the summer, it's Friday. The office closes at 1:00 on Friday, and I love those "stolen" afternoons.

Did you ever watch Saturday morning cartoons? What was your favorite? I had two favorites. Rocky and  Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody.

Were you a comic book fan? No, no. Never, never. Uh uh uh.

Did you earn an allowance when you were a kid? How much? Was it tied to chores? Yes. I don't remember. Only theoretically, as I resisted the chore thing.

What is the fanciest type of car you've ridden in?  What occasion? I've taken limos to the airport. The first time it was fun. Every time after that, I have found them embarrassing. When I'm told an actual limo may not be available, I always tell them I'm good with that.

Whats your favorite sport to watch? Baseball. Cubs baseball. Kris Bryant playing Cubs baseball.



Ever tried surfing? No

Have you ever been to a live major team sporting game? Just the Cubs, and the Bears, and the Black Hawks, and the Bulls, and the White Sox (yes, twice!) and the Dodgers.

From a scale of 1 to 5 how athletic are you (1=nerd, 5=very athletic)?  -11. I suck.

What's your favorite horror movie? Psycho. Hitch was the best!

What is your favorite cult classic movie? Pulp Fiction.

About how many times do you go to the movies a month? Not often enough. I love going to the movies and haven't been in a while.

Favorite movie, which one came to your head first? If only he'd had the courage to stay with her ...



What if your life was like a movie? What type of movie would it be? Sometimes it feel more like a TV show. An episode of I Love Lucy. WAAAAAH!

Do you like long series movies, like "Lord of the Rings"? No.

Saturday 9

I Dream of Jeannie Theme (1965)

... Because Harriet requested it. If you're not familiar with today's song, you can hear it here. 

1) Jeannie was memorably discovered on the beach in an ornate bottle. Have you ever brought a souvenir home from the beach? (It doesn't have to be a genie. A shell or a stone will do.) Over the years I've brought shells home, but they've always gotten lost somewhere along the way.

2) Major Anthony Nelson, the man who released Jeannie from her bottle, was an astronaut. When you were a kid, did you dream of being an astronaut when you grew up? No. There were no female astronauts back in the day.

3) Upon discovering Jeannie, Major Nelson's first wish was that she could speak/understand English so they could communicate. If you found a genie, what would your first wish be? I'm with Major Nelson on this one. I'd want to be absolutely sure I understood the rules/ramifications of genie ownership, so the English thing would be #1.

4) Major Nelson's best friend was fellow astronaut Major Healey. Where did you meet your best friend? Kindgergarten

5) This theme song was written by Hugo Montenegro, who is better known for the music he wrote for a pair of Clint Eastwood movies (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly and A Fistful of Dollars). Do you have a favorite Clint Eastwood movie? Not in front of the camera. As an actor he leaves me completely cold. But I loved Million Dollar Baby, which he directed.

6) The last episode of the series was titled, "My Master, The Chili King." What ingredients make up your favorite chili recipe? Chili and I don't get along and, therefore, avoid one another.

7) Jeannie was played by Barbara Eden, who was born in Tuscon, Arizona. Summer in Tuscon can get very hot, with the mercury often reaching 100º. What's your favorite season? Autumn. Hopefully this year I'll be watching my Cubs in the World Series!

8) Anthony Nelson was played by Larry Hagman, who went on to play the villainous JR on the popular Dallas. Can you think of anything else Dallas is known for? Death of a President, 1963

9) In the autumn of 1965, just weeks after I Dream of Jeannie premiered, St. Louis' famous Gateway Arch was completed. An estimated 4 million tourists visit the Arch every year. Do you have any summer vacation plans? No travel plans till Fall.

June Challenge -- Day 9

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9. What do you like the most about yourself? I find the joy. Today was another tough day in a long tough week, in a year that has, in a word, sucked. Yet tonight, as I was getting off the train, I caught sight of the Chicago skyline in the distance. I've seen Sears Tower at 8:00 glowing in the snowy dark. Tonight I saw it
glistening in the waning sunlight. And I thought, how lucky am I?


I get to live right here, near the greatest city in the country. I get to see its beauty from season to season.


I like that I'm never too blue to recognize what can make me happy.

June Challenge -- Day 8

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8. What song would you pick to represent you? "Two of Us" by the Lads. The older I get, the more this song means to me. "You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches on ahead." It was true of John and Paul, though they didn't know it in 1970. And it's true of me and all my friends today.


Two Of Us 1970 by moss3516
 

June Challenge -- Day 7

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7. Pick a T.V. sitcom to represent your life. Oh, this is easy. My office life consumes an inordinate amount of my time, but I'm OK with that. My friends are my family. And yes, I'm still unmarried. If only I could turn the world on with my smile, The Mary Tyler Moore Show would be the perfect representation.

Now the question was about a sitcom. If you were to ask my which fictional TV character best represents my life, my answer would be different. Then I would go with Peggy Olson from Mad Men. The similarities amaze me, and were not lost on people who knew me back in the 80s and 90s.
 

We can all change and become better

Bobby Kennedy died on 6/6/68. I was 10 years old. It completely rocked my world. There had already been so much real-life violence on TV that year, including Dr. King's assassination and the ensuing riots and nightly coverage of the Vietnam carnage. To my child's eyes, this man -- who always seemed to be surrounded by kids or dogs -- could help. Then he got shot, too.

He didn't die instantly. The bullet that shattered his brain didn't blow off part of his skull, as in the first Kennedy assassination. Bobby lingered overnight. I remember going to sleep hoping he would make it, not understanding how much damage a bullet lodged in the brain could do. Of course I know now that what made him HIM was already gone. But I was 10 and life seemed full of infinite possibilities. So it broke my heart to hear he died.

The more I learned about Bobby, the more he taught me about the human spirit. For there were really two Bobbys. In the late 1950s-early 1960s, he was pugnacious and (to use the term popular at the time) "ruthless." He lived in a black-and-white, us vs. them world. He prosecuted the Mob and clashed with Jimmy Hoffa because he believed they were BAD. The ends justified the means. He served his brother with energy and imagination and loyalty because JFK was GOOD. He did whatever it took to further his brother's agenda. No questions asked.

Then, in November 1963, he was shattered by his brother's murder. He emerged from grief a different man. The public outpouring of affection for his family transformed him. Expanded him. If you hurt, he heard you. Anti-war protesters, disenfranchised blacks, blue-collar whites, the poor ... you were his constituents. It's hard to believe now, but he was wildly popular with two demographics -- urban Northern youth and lower middle class Southern. No one has ever had such a diverse constituency since. It wasn't based on ideology, it sprang from belief in the man. After Bobby's death, many of his supporters went not to McCarthy or Humphrey or even Nixon but to George Wallace (!). I wonder what this nation could achieve if we had a leader who could unite those groups the way Bobby did.

As Ted Kennedy eulogized his brother, "He saw wrong and tried to right it. He saw suffering and tried to heal it. He saw war and tried to stop it." To Bobby, who still saw the world as black and white, it really was that simple. It's just that his heart grew to encompass everyone who needed him.

We can all change. We can all become better. We can all learn to love more and love better. That's what I learned from the man who died on this date.

I originally posted this in 2013.

June Challenge -- Day 6

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6. Where is the place you dread the most? Wedding receptions. I'd rather go to a funeral than a wedding reception. After the funeral, when people are milling about and heading off for the buffet luncheon, you can just peel off and go home. With wedding receptions, you have to hang out. Fucking spare me.
 

June Challenge -- Day 5

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5. What has been your greatest challenge in life so far?  I don't like to think about it, but I suppose not thinking about it doesn't solve anything, either.

I suffered abuse as a child and teenager. Physical, sexual and verbal. From three different people. Two are dead. All were family. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that colors my attitude toward the sentimental depictions of holiday celebrations in pop culture.

At times, though, I am proud of what I learned. I walked away from the abusive relationship I landed in as a young woman. I understood how my upbringing had led me to believe that's what I'd been bred for, and I broke the pattern and walked away.

Rest in peace, Champ

The man gave up 3 1/2 years of his career, when he was at his physical peak, for his beliefs. He risked prison for his beliefs. He gave up millions and millions of dollars for his beliefs.

Today he's being mourned and revered. Yes, he was handsome and graceful and abundantly talented. Yes, he met the ravages an ugly affliction with a beautiful dignity.

But he wasn't always so beloved. I hear echoes of Ali's coverage when I was a little girl. In announcing the Champ's passing, 88-year-old Dodger announcer Vin Scully called him both "Muhammad Ali" and "Cassius Clay." He changed his name in 1964. While the rest of Scully's announcement was touching and respectful, it brought to mind other sportswriters (New York's Dick Young comes to mind) who insisted on referring to him as "Clay," as though the man's conversion to Islam was not sincere. Just a way to dodge the draft. Just more evidence that he was too brash, too black.

I look at this man and I see the story of my country's last 50 years. I'm proud of how far we've come -- a black man with an decidedly un-WASPy name is in White House -- and I'm grateful to the Champ for the role he played in leading us along.

The Greatest of All Time, indeed.

Sunday Stealing

Meal Skipper Meme

1. Do you skip meals sometimes? I try not to. Though I've been known to snarf down a bowl of breakfast cereal for dinner.

2. Last time you overate? At work on Thursday. There was a celebration with lots of donuts ... and champagne ... and beer ... and chicken ... and nachos ...

3. Do you like Mexican food? Not especially.
 
4. Do you like Chinese food? Very much.
 
5. Do you like Italian food? Even better.

 
6. Do you like American food? The best!
 
7. Have you ever been on a diet? Not really, but I should be.
 
8. Do you like vegetables? Some -- like spinach, corn and peas -- I like a lot. Most? Not so much.
 
9. On a scale from 1 to 5 how much do you eat a day (1= not eating, 5= eating 3 meals)? 5, I think. This question confuses me.
 
10. Do you think you eat healthily? Better than I used to, but not as good as I should.
 
11. Do you think you are ugly? I'm OK.
 
12. Do you like your hair? Yes.
 
13. Do you like the way you look? We're obsessing on the superficial this Sunday, aren't we?
 
14. Would you want to change anything? About what? My life? My face? The world?
 
15. Do you ever wear a lucky color? Yes. I wear a lot of Cubbie blue (Pantone 294). And it must be working. My heroes have the best record in the major leagues!

16. Do you care how other people see you? Yes.
 
17. Do you or have you ever worn braces? Yes.
 
18. Do you wear glasses and/or contacts? Yes.
 
19. Do you want to gain weight, lose weight, or stay about the same? Yes.
 
20. What do you do if you have the flu? If I have a fever, I stay home from work and call the doctor. If I don't -- and it's just a cold and not the flu -- I ride it out.
 
21. How many tries to get your drivers license? Only one. Which amazes me, because I was a terrible driver.
 
22. Are you saving up for anything in the future? Yes. There are some big homeowner-y expenses in my future.
 
23. Do you have a lot of spare time? Yes, but I want more!
 
24. Do you consider yourself a responsible person? Yes.
 
25. Do you consider yourself a lazy person? Yes.

A real life Boo Radley

This is The Walking Dude, or Mr. Chicago, as my friend John and I have always called him. If you've spent any time in the city over the last 30 years, you've seen him. His clothes are threadbare but his hair and mustache are always, always kempt.

He walks. He seldom speaks -- I don't know anyone who has actually heard his voice -- but it's been documented that he sells wristwatches to cab drivers as they wait at cab stands. Then he resumes walking. Up and down Michigan Avenue. Throughout the Loop. In and around Lincoln Park. He'll stop to look in shop windows, observe roadwork, or watch the Chicago River flow by. Then he starts walking again.

Tour buses point him out, and while visitors shout and wave, he ignores them. Occasionally, on very cold days, he'll accept the kindness of a local coffee shop and slip in for a cup of joe. But for the most part, he enjoys silence. And walking.

Until last month, when some thug with a baseball bat assaulted him. Smashed him in the head and across the legs. Why? We don't know. Certainly Mr. Chicago had no money or belongings worth stealing. It's just another example of the rage that's taking over our streets.

I was broken hearted to hear this. So were my friends, John and Kathy. And everyone at work. And so many, many people all across the city. To date, more than 1000 Chicagoans have contributed $38,000 to help Mr. Chicago when he's released from the hospital.

Ah, but there's the rub. He doesn't want our help. 

It turns out he has family out in the suburbs, but he has long refused to live with them, preferring shelters. He has spent Thanksgiving or Christmas Day with his brother, sister and nephew, but then insists on going back on the street. To walk.

His independence is making life hard for the police and prosecutors. The man who viciously assaulted him was arrested, but Mr. Chicago refuses to press charges. Or cooperate with the police in any way. He never wants to appear in court. He wants to be left alone.

Likewise, he refuses to see his nephew or remaining siblings. Without the patient's permission, the hospital can't release any information to them about Mr. Chicago's condition, including room number. They are taking some of that $38,000 and trying to find a lawyer who can force the hospital to release him to his family's care. Because Mr. Chicago may not regain all his sight and could need a service dog. That requires training and a home.

I'm reminded of Boo Radley. Remember the end of To Kill a Mockingbird? Atticus thinks Jem killed that awful Mr. Ewell. The sheriff tells him, no it was Boo. But the official report will state that Ewell fell on his knife. Atticus still isn't following, and the sheriff has to spell it out for him. Boo did stab Ewell to defend Atticus' children, but no one must ever know.

"I never heard tell that it's against the law for a citizen to do his utmost to prevent a crime from being committed, which is exactly what he did, but maybe you'll say it's my duty to tell the town all about it and not hush it up. Know what would happen then? All the ladies in Maycomb, including my wife, they would be knocking on his door bringing angel food cakes. To my way of thinking, Mr. Finch, taking the one man who's done you and this town a great service and dragging him with his shy ways into the limelight. To me, that's a sin. It's a sin and I'm not about to have it on my head. If it was any other man, it'd be different. But not this man, Mr. Finch."

Similarly, this strange and gentle man doesn't want our charity or attention. Like Boo, Mr. Chicago has "shy ways" and is working hard to shun the limelight.

It just makes me sad and sick that he may no longer be able to freely wander the streets as he's long chosen to.

June Challenge -- Playing Catch Up

Here are days 1 through 4 of the Challenge.

1.  What famous or fictional person/character did you admire as a child? When I was a little girl, I read obsessively about my two favorite Presidents: Abe and JFK.* By the time I graduated from grammar school, I was proud to tell the librarian I had read every book on Lincoln she had on her shelves. Among other benefits, reading about these two men perpetuated my love of reading because they were both book lovers. A lifetime later, I still stop and pay attention to anything about Abe and JFK that comes my way.

2.  Plan your last day on Earth. No, thank you. I hope I die suddenly, with no advance warning.

3.  If you could wish for only 3 things to come true, what would you wish for? Religious tolerance, serenity for those closest to me, and a winning lottery ticket.

4.  What does love mean to you? Putting the well being of another above your own.

*Happy belated birthday, Mr. President.