Keeping the Faith

Today, the weather was soupy. Gray and wet and windy and foggy. Bears weather, not Cubs weather. You could argue today's game shouldn't have played.

But oh, I'm glad it was!

At one point, my boys in blue were down 10-2. It looked hopeless. Then the game exploded. In the bottom of the 7th, the Cubs scored twice. In the bottom of the 8th, they scored 9 times! Nine fucking times in the mud and rain. It was a sight to behold.

I realize others turned the game off when it was 10-2. I stuck it out. My faith has been rewarded.

Croft & Barrow and StyleWorks

I made it to the village rummage sale today, and left with quite a haul. Two Croft & Barrow (aka Kohl's) pullovers, like new, for $2.50 each. Two StyleWorks (aka Carson's or Bergner's) blouses, like new, also $2.50 each. I think one of them might be a little too tight across the bust, but if it is, so what? It was $2.50. It'll make a nice addition to the next Goodwill bag.

$10. Four blouses that will make me feel pretty as winter turns to spring, and I only paid $10. Better yet, my purchases will assist local charities.

I am happy.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: High Noon (1952)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) What will you be (or were you) doing at high noon on Saturday? Hopefully I will manage to get to the neighborhood rummage sale. I've had good luck there lately, finding fabulous stuff, and it benefits local charities.

2) In this song, Tex Ritter sings he doesn't know what fate awaits him. How strong is your sense of intuition? Tell us about a time you knew what would happen before it occurred. Sometimes I'm thinking of some obscure song and it comes on the radio. Freaks me out every time.

3) This song was the theme of a hit movie western by the same name. It starred Gary Cooper as a small-town sheriff. When did you last interact with a member of law enforcement? An officer was just hanging out in the lobby of my office building, looking all official. I think sometimes police just want to be visible to discourage evildoers. 

I want to rock a tiara, like Sophie

4) Grace Kelly co-starred as the "fair-haired beauty mentioned in this song. Four years later, she gave up films to become Her Serene Highness, Princess Grace of Monaco. Which job seems like more fun -- movie star or royal? Royal. Actresses work rather hard -- long days, memorizing lines, dealing with a lot of different personalities, being handled and judged ... Now a royal! I think you can pick your spots to do good. I wouldn't want to be mega-famous and popular, like Kate and William or Meghan and Harry. I think that level of scrutiny would be maddening. I'm thinking more like Sophie, Countess of Wessex. Never heard of her? Exactly!

She's married to Prince Edward, Queen Elizabeth's youngest son. He's currently ninth in line to the throne (10th when Kate's new baby gets here). Sophie gets to wear a tiara and do all sorts of charity work. She's on the board of several hospitals, raises money for the preservation of WWI and WWII veterans' memorials and cemeteries, and helped establish The Jill Dando Institute, the first institution of higher learning devoted to crime science. It's a passion of hers because Jill Dando was a murder victim, and a friend of hers. I'd love to be able to pick a cause and truly help make good things happen.

5) Though he cultivated a "just plain folk" persona, this week's featured artist, Tex Ritter, was really cosmopolitan and highly educated, earning a degree in the economics from the University of Texas before going on to study pre-law at Northwestern. Do you think the "real you" is consistent with the image you convey? Yes.

6) Tex Ritter was the father of Emmy-winning comedic actor, John Ritter. John is remembered fondly as the voice of Clifford, the Big Red Dog. Clifford appeals to children because he is "gentle, friendly, loyal, lovable and clumsy." Do any of those adjectives apply to you? Certainly clumsy!

7) Tex is also the grandfather of Jason Ritter, star of ABC-TV's Kevin (Probably) Saves the World. If you followed one of your grandparents into their line of work, what would you be doing? My favorite grandpa had such a diverse professional career, he's given me several occupations to choose from. He was a chauffeur, a construction worker, technician on a conveyor belt and, as I just learned, a bass player!

8) In 1952, the year "High Noon" was popular, Stopette, the first antiperspirant deodorant spray, was introduced. Do you use a deodorant spray, stick or roll on? Suave Invisible Solid. You know, home air conditioners were not really all that common before the 1960s. And there wasn't antiperspirant deodorant until 1952. I'm guessing that for a long time, we were a stinky people in the summer.

9) Random question: What's something you have always wanted to own, but never have? A horse.

 

April Challenge -- Day 14

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Your life in seven years

This frightens me because it's unknown.

On good days, I think about how much I'll enjoy the freedom that will come with retirement. Waking up when I want. Being relaxed and energized to work on my home, work on my body. Really go through things and organize and declutter. Work out every day, maybe swim. Read more. Volunteer at the library and/or get a part-time retail job. (For some reason, I really see myself at Pet Supplies Plus.)

On bad days, I worry that I'll be poor and sick. I'm concerned I won't be able to afford to live much longer than my life in seven years.

 

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April Challenge -- Day 13

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Your commute to/from work

My commute is always eventful.

I take the CTA Green Line to and from the office each day. I get on at the second stop and get off at the sixteenth stop. The ride itself takes about 30 minutes and is always revelatory.

The first two stops take me through my village. It's always fun to see who gets on with me. One recent day there was a mom with a toddler girl who was so excited to "ride Thomas" that she actually, literally, jumped up and down and clapped her hands as the train approached. I felt privileged to be there for one of her first train rides. This week I rode with members of my local high school's swim team. Their conversation amused me. They do not find Mark Zuckerberg, or this Facebook transit poster campaign, impressive. I recall snickering and the word "douche." I was also impressed by how often one of the boys talked about his father, who takes this train to work every day. That kid is very proud of his lawyer dad.

The next nine stops are the ones you hear about on the news, as it takes me through the high crime area. I know this part of the journey turns a lot of people off, and I can see why. Many of the young people who get on and off at these stops are intimidating, behaving badly and almost daring the rest of us to say something, and no one ever does. (After all, littering or very loud music is not worth an altercation.) But it also teaches me a great deal about people who live just minutes away from my home. I find the women, especially, interesting and inspiring. They're almost all going to work. I can tell from their clothes and snatches of conversation that they are nail techs, fast food restaurant workers, and drugstore counter girls. Some of the younger ones -- and they are very young -- are trying to negotiate the commute with babies in umbrella strollers. I always wonder how much of their paycheck is left after they pay for daycare. Just Friday night, two of the women were talking about a friend of theirs who came home to find a burglar in her home. The community college students get on at these stops, too. I can tell by the textbooks.

The last five stops are downtown. I go through the up-and-coming River North area, and ride over the Chicago River itself. It never fails to amaze me that I am riding rails that were built high above a major river. Then into the financial district and The Loop. I get off at State/Lake. You can see the stairs I climb and descend way in the back of this photo. I realize that every day, twice a day, I pass an iconic marquee that tourists go out of their way to see and photograph.

I am lucky that I have another transportation option. After 7:00 PM, I do not ride the Green Line. It's simply not safe for a short, fat old lady traveling alone. Then I take the Metra commuter train. It's more expensive and runs on a more regimented scheduled. But on the upside, it goes directly from River North to my neighborhood without stopping.

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Greetings from the GOOD seats

The place where I work has season tickets for the Cubs. Fabuloo seats. 14 rows behind the Cubs dugout.Vice presidents request them and, if The Big Boss doesn't want to or can't go, the VPs can distribute them to their teams.

Through some circuitous path, Thursday's tickets made their way to me Tuesday afternoon. The guy who brought them over said it was because I'm such a loyal Cub fan he thought of our little creative team immediately. I think it's because April weather is so changeable, no one else wanted them. Whatever. I had 'em, and I was using 'em.

My boss didn't want to go. His personal life is ever-changing and i's harder for him to get home from Wrigley Field than it is the Loop. The art director didn't want to go because she hates baseball. I wanted to go more than life itself.

But here's the thing! I couldn't find anyone to go with me! I thought of John first. He's my Cub-watching buddy. But he had a late morning client meeting and couldn't make it to the ballpark by 1:00. Then I thought of my nephew, who was shockingly willing to cut class but couldn't come along because he had to be at work* by 6:00, and that couldn't happen. Not navigating post-game traffic from Wrigley Field out to the suburbs.

So I brought a pair of coworkers who sit around me: David, the AE whose desk I pass every morning when I get in and with whom I compare notes on last night's game, and Emily, the HR rookie who is so blabby and engaging. They are both 2016 college graduates, which makes them 24. That's a lot of time socializing with people more than 30 years my junior. Since we all had the Cubs in common, it was less awkward than I thought it would be. After the game, we even went for drinks together at Joe's on Broadway, the ancient and seedy dive bar that my friend John introduced me to. They were impressed that I knew such a cool place. They asked me about what other bars I know, and I told them about my favorite, where John and I celebrated my birthday.

"Will we be invited to your birthday party this year?" Emily asked. That made me happy.

Oh, and there's this:

•  The game itself was an unsuccessful snooze. We were still in it (behind just 3-1) when Joe turned to the bullpen. Then the deficit exploded, and we ending up losing big. Which is not to say we didn't have fun. I loved being able to watch Kyle Hendricks' motion from up close like that. And to see Kris Bryant take those big, wide swings in the on deck circle! You know, the things you miss when watching TV and the camera decides what you see.

• You can call me "mom." On the way into the park, the peanut vendor tried to guilt David into a sale by saying, "Buy a bag for mom." I was amused because it's better than "grandma" or "that crazy spinster cat lady."

*He takes his job at McDonald's very seriously! It's adorable.

April Challenge -- Day 12

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Two words of phrases that make you laugh.

These don't make me laugh, exactly, but they make me smile because they remind me of two of my favorite jokes ....

1) "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." Larry the Lobster played the harp in Tommy Dorsal's band. One night they were playing a swimphony at the undersea establishment of his friend Sam the Clam. After the show, a fetching fishy shook her tailfin at him. He put his harp down so they could swim circles around the dance floor. Then he swam home. "Oh, no!" he exclaimed, "I left my harp in Sam Clam's disco!"

2) "He had a hat." A grandmother is watching her grandson playing on the beach. A huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please, God, save my only grandson. I will live a blameless life if only you return him to me. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to Heaven and says, "He had a hat."

 

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April Challenge -- Day 11

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Your current relationship. If single, discuss that, too.

Short answer:

Longer answer:

•  After years of therapy, I have identified a fear of genuine intimacy (the fear that if someone really, really knew me, they wouldn't like me).

•  I spent too long in an abusive relationship and don't trust my choices.

•  I am very, very set in my ways and doubt that I have the capacity to change.

•  I find myself exhausted by too much time surrounded by people.

It's funny, but I'll post all this to my blog but would be loathe to say it out loud to most people in my life.

 

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April Challenge -- Day 10

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A fruit you dislike and why.

Tomatoes! I love ketchup and tomato sauce, but raw tomatoes make my skin crawl. It's a tactile thing. The skin is too soft to contain the squish inside. And the insides are all runny and awful.

 

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But right now, I'm fine!

I was miserable Thursday night and Friday morning. I was uncomfortable Friday and Saturday. Since Saturday night, I have felt fine.

So what's going on? It looks like kidney stones. My doctor wants me to have a CT scan to be sure. At any rate, she doesn't think it's serious. Painful, but not deadly.

So Tuesday, I have to have a chat with my boss. I don't feel comfortable traveling hours downstate to our client's office for a presentation. Not if I could cramp up again, like I did Thursday night.

I've had to cover for him a lot lately. Maybe it's time for him to cover for me. I can present over the phone. I can do that, even if I do have another attack. It's the travel that has me frightened.

Snow Much for Opening Day

Yes, Monday's Cub game was snowed out. Yes, it was disappointing. But at work we got free hot dogs anyway -- the head of our office is a massive Cubs fan -- and the news was filled with these rather amazing snow scenes.

Aren't my guys just the cutest in all of baseball? Why yes, they are!

As Cub manager Joe Maddon said, some of these players are from places like North Carolina, Nevada and Puerto Rico, so April snow is amazing and delightful. For some of us, it's ho-hum. I'm glad I was able to see it through their eyes.

April Challenge -- Day 9

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Your thoughts on ageism.

I'm a 60-year-old woman in advertising, which is a young person's industry. It makes me feel marginalized and invisible.

To put a finer point on it, I'm about to begin working with a friend's daughter.  She just scored an internship at our agency.

This could be karma biting me in my fat ass, as I recall being disdainful of the dinosaurs I worked with at the beginning of my career.

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Sunday Stealing

CURIOUS AS A CAT

1) Do you think you’d be a good writer? What kind of writer would you like to be (fiction, children’s books, magazine, etc.)? Every two weeks, an ad agency puts money in my checking account in exchange for the words I write, so yeah, I guess I'm a good enough writer. If I wasn't in advertising, I think I'd be a good essayist. I love Nora Ephron's work at Esquire. I don't think I'd be that good, of course. But I think it would be fun to try.

2) I wish I had enough money to ________. Not worry about money.

3) If you had to enter a competition for the "Most Uselessly Unique Talent," what would your talent be? I can pronounce the alphabet as a word.

4) When it might hurt their feelings, how do you feel about telling your friends the truth? I hate it. I don't relish hurting anyone's feelings.

5) Peanut or plain? Peanut.

6) Is there someone you would like to take your place in life for one day? Who and why? I'd like to change places with my cat Reynaldo for a day. I think the experience would help us better understand one another and make us better roommates.

7) What do you think is the ugliest thing or event on Earth? The Holocaust. We should learn from it and always remember how easy it was for politicians to demonize "others," and convince us the different ones are the root of our problems.

8) What is your least favorite of your personality traits or quirks? My laziness.

9) I wish I could see ________ because _________. Heaven, I have questions for loved ones there.

10) Tell us your favorite children's story. When Ferdinand was a baby bull, he didn't want to rough house with the other bulls, he wanted to smell the flowers. It was kind of lonely, because the other young bulls were into play fighting and Ferdinand was the only one into flowers. But it made him happy, so his mother encouraged him. He grew up to be very big and very strong. When matadors came looking for bulls to fight, they saw Ferdinand in the pasture and were impressed by his size. He was smelling the flowers and just happened to be stung by a bee. This frightened and hurt him and made him mad so he started snorting and stamping and running around. The matadors took this to mean he was fierce and they took him into the city for a big bull fight. When he entered the ring, Ferdinand was delighted by the pre-fight ceremony because it includes pretty ladies with flowers. He dropped down, like he did in the pasture, and just enjoyed the flowers. The matadors realized Ferdinand was going to be a bust as a fighter and returned him to the pasture, where he lived happily ever after among the flowers.
                          
11) What do you keep in the trunk of your car? I don't have a car.

12) Describe your perfect, rainy afternoon. Curled up on the sofa with a snack, watching the Cubs win on the road in another, sunnier city.

13) Tell us about your favorite way to get lost in a simple activity — running, chopping vegetables, folding laundry, whatever. What’s it like when you’re in "the zone?" It helps to have headphones with me.

14) What parts of nature do you like best? I like water. Whether it's an ocean, a lake or a puddle, it's seldom still. Watching it move is hypnotic. When it is smooth and still, it's pretty, too.

15) What's the kindest act you have ever seen done (either to/by you or another)? Oh, golly, this is hard. One of the kindest things anyone has done for me lately was when my friend Kathy drove me to/from my colonoscopy. First of all, no one wants to waste a day doing that. Secondly, when I told her I needed a ride somewhere, she said "yes," without waiting to hear when, where or what for. I appreciated her generosity so much!

April Challenge -- Day 8

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A book you love, and one you didn't.

Looking over the books I read last year, there was one I enjoyed way more than I expected to, and a book I expected to love that I found unreadable.

I loved Prince Charles by Sally Bedell Smith. It was a sympathetic portrait of a man it's not easy to like, and a peek into a world that's as restrictive as it is privileged.

I hated Chaos by Patricia Cornwell. Dr. Kay Scarpetta is such a compelling character, and Cornwell can write so well, that this book made me mad. Kay behaves like no human would ever behave. Cornwell returns to the well one too many times when it came to the villain. I didn't even finish it.

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Her name was Mary Jo Kopechne

My more vivid memories of that summer are the astronauts. I was 11, and it felt like the whole world had just changed with the moon landing.

1968 had been a scary year to be a kid. Dr. King and Bobby had been assassinated. Riots in the streets. Vietnam raged on every night on the news. But 1969! The astronauts and the moon landing! Yea!

Chappaquiddick seemed like a storyline from one of my mom's soaps. The Edge of Night, The Secret Storm and As the World Turns. A group of people met at a beach house for a reunion to celebrate and remember their time working on late Brother Bobby's campaign. Senator Ted Kennedy took one of the girls to the ferry. His car went off a bridge. She died, he lived. It was sad, but oh! The astronauts! The Cubs had a legendary team that summer, too.* The Beatles were singing "Yellow Submarine."

Then I heard my dad tell a joke. He and my mom had another couple over, and after he thought I was asleep, he stood in the hallway outside my door and shared a knee slapper with that ended like this:
"But Ted, what if I get pregnant?" "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

The next day I confronted my father. I told him I didn't think it was nice to make fun of the dead girl. He said he didn't think it was nice of little girls to listen to adult conversations. I wanted to point out that he had the adult conversation in front of my bedroom door, but didn't. I could tell I was pushing my father's buttons. It's not too much of a stretch, though, to say that joke aroused my nascent feminism. It wasn't right to make fun of that dead girl.

"That dead girl" is why I recommend the movie Chappaquiddick. Mary Jo Kopechne is played by Kate Mara. She has lines, she has motivation, she is a real character in the story of her death. There is nothing that implies that she and Kennedy had a sexual relationship, just as there is no evidence that points to that. She was not a party girl. She was not a groupie. She is treated with the dignity she deserves. Has always deserved.

I believe Ted Kennedy panicked in the water that night. It certainly wasn't heroic, but I understand it. People forget that, in 1964, he was trapped in a wrecked plane and was hospitalized for months afterward. Being in physical peril like that again could have triggered a powerful impulse to flee.

What I've never understood is the cowardly way he behaved in the hours and days afterward. This movie doesn't white wash any of that. I do, however, believe that he spent the rest of his life in public service, trying to make up for it. That counts for something with me. Whether that evens the ledger is up to God.

The Kennedy storyline here isn't new, though. It's her. It's Mary Jo Kopechne. She's the story here. She's why you should shell out your hard earned dollars to see this movie. Because all these years later, she finally gets a moment of attention.

The real May Jo Kopechne. RIP, gallant lady.

*Though they suffered a legendary fold, too. Ever hear of the 1969 Mets?

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Nights on Broadway (1975)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) It's estimated that there are more than 200 separate streets called "Broadway" in the United States. Does your town have a Broadway? Yes, Chicago has its own Broadway. The cool(er) kids live there.

2) Think of the last time you celebrated well into the night. What street were you on? South State Street. I was still home by midnight.


3) The Bee Gees blame it all on those songs that go straight to the heart. What love song always makes you go, "aw ...?" This song completely breaks my heart because I lived it. And it makes me wonder, why hasn't Vanessa Williams had more hits?

 

4) Even though their sound depended on tight harmonies, all three Bee Gees were heavy smokers, which is not good for the throat. What habit do you have that wish you could break? My laziness.

5) In addition to the three Gibbs who sang this song, there was a fourth brother, Andy, who also had hit records. But did you know the Gibbs' had a sister, Lesley? Your turn: share some trivia that's rattling around in your head. All bugs are insects, but not all insects are bugs.

6) "Nights on Broadway" was recorded in Miami. When you think of Florida, what comes to mind? Family. My dear friends, Reg and Henry, are in Key West. My aunt is in Port Charlotte. My cousin is in Tampa.

7) In 1975, when this song was popular, Sony introduced the Betamax and JVC gave us the VCR. Sam admits she was glad to see VCRs go because she never could program hers. What about you? Do you adapt easily to new technology? Well enough to get by in this millennium. I'm good on my smartphone and decent with social media (though I still don't know how to use The Cloud). I adore my DVR. I'm not comfortable with Alexa or Siri, though.

8) The Bee Gees' greatest success came two years later, in 1977, with the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever. Have you ever seen the John Travolta movie? Yes. My favorite line: "He hits my hair."


 

9) Random question -- Your mail carrier is very attractive, and flirts with you each day when dropping off the mail. Would you a) ignore it or b) let the carrier know, firmly but politely, that you're not interested or c) complain to your local post office or d) subscribe to more magazines and order more stuff to guarantee that the mail carrier comes every day? Now we're talking about someone I'm attracted to, right? Well then a combination of A and D. I'd enjoy it, but I'd be too shy and embarrassed to let on.

April Challenge -- Day 7

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What tattoos you have, and their special meaning.

Well, this is an easy one. I don't have any tattoos.

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I didn't know!

My cousin is a musician by trade. He recently changed his Facebook profile pic to a photo of himself, looking a bit forlorn, riding the el ... wearing a porkpie hat and a sousaphone between his legs. It's a funny shot because the instrument is as big as he is, and naturally, he's the only one on the train carrying one.

His mother -- my aunt -- commented that our grandfather would have loved the photo because he often told her the story about holding down a second job, years before she was born, during the Depression. Monday through Friday, he worked construction at the not-yet-open Brookfield Zoo. On Friday and Saturday nights, he went into the city to play bass with a dance band for tips. Not a tall man, he always said that he was aware of the amused looks he got on the trolley car, balancing a bass that was bigger than he was. But he was going downtown to make honest money to feed his family, so he held his head high.

I was always proud of my favorite grandpa for helping to build The Lion House (now home to the zoo's rain forest). But I truly had no idea he'd ever been a professional musician!

He was such a wonderful guy. He loved gardening and was proud of his marigolds and snapdragons. He loved building things, like the backyard swing where I spent as much time as possible. He loved American history the way only an immigrant can, and taught himself about the different Indian tribes. He loved Hollywood movies, especially those starring Carole Lombard. And, of course, the Cubs. The Cubs are my birthright.

Now I know he played bass, too. He's been dead nearly 45 years, and I just learned that about him! How I wish the adult me could talk to him, because I think he had a lot to teach me.

He was a champ

Two things you need to know about my old tomcat, Reynaldo. 1) He loves routine. He likes his litter box right where it is. He sleeps in exactly the same spots every day. I am supposed to wake up and come home at approximately the same times. 2) His favorite time of day is mealtime. Breakfast is when I get up in the morning. Dinner is when I come home at night.

He has been known to act up if 1 and/or 2 are disrupted. I don't think he means to be bad. It's more like there's a terrible problem that I must be made aware of.

Well, Thursday night into Friday morning, I was in terrible pain. I was desperate to relieve it and when all else failed, I soaked in the tub. By the time the pain subsided, it was dawn ... and I was just then getting back to bed.

THIS IS NOT IN ACCORDANCE WITH REYNALDO'S SCHEDULE.

I was worried that Rey would do what he often does: knock everything off my dresser until I wake up or, just to mix it up a little, comb my hair with his nails until I wake up.

When I finally got out of bed for the day, it was about 10:00. My good boy was tucked behind my knees, quietly comforting me and keeping me warm. When I began to stir, he moved up chest and curled up there. No disruptions. Just sweetness.

It's as if he knew I was feeling poorly and wanted to help.

Who's a good boy? Reynaldo is a good boy!

Misery!

 It's back. The horrible pain in my gut returned with a vengeance on Thursday night. Really, it was pre-dawn Friday monring. There was no blood in the bowl this time, but the ache just above my crotch left me unable to sleep or even think about anything else. I finally got the idea to soak in the tub for a good long while, but by the time it helped it was 6 AM.

I shot an email to my boss, letting him know I'd try to be in by noon. I made it before 1:00. Advil and work actually helped. I was super productive. (Of course, looming deadlines will do that to you!) The young woman who shares our little cube did the sweetest thing for me: she arranged to have the dog who was visiting the office today stop by for a house call to cheer me up. Actually, the dog was rather tuckered out by the time he made his way over here and barely gave me a wag, but I appreciated her gesture so much.

As fate would have it, I stopped by my doctor's office Thursday night to leave a follow up urine specimen. Strangely enough, I felt just fine while I was at the doctor's office. Results should be back on Monday. Fingers crossed that it isn't anything too hard to treat.

April Challenge -- Day 6

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Someone who fascinates you, and why.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of his murder, and to borrow a phrase, "attention must be paid."

John F. Kennedy is the one who captures the ink and the imagination. He was elegant and witty. He was a war hero. He handled considerable physical pain, day in and day out, with stoicism. He saved the world from nuclear holocaust. And -- I'm paraphrasing Chris Matthews here -- he died in an open car on a sunny day, waving at adoring crowds with a beautiful woman at his side.

But then there's Bobby. There's little to his story that lends itself to fairy tale. The runt of the litter enlisted in WWII and was disappointed that he was unable to rise above the rank of seaman apprentice. He was sarcastic and rough edged. He didn't charm, he steam rolled. Whether you were a ward committeeman or a mob boss, if you got in his way, he flattened you.

But he changed. He evolved. The man he was for the first 36 years of his life wasn't the one laid to rest at just 42. Beginning in the White House, as his brother's Attorney General, and beyond, he developed empathy and a passion for the plight of the underdog. Then there was his priggish side. Whereas President Kennedy famously said, "Life isn't fair," Brother Bobby was offended by the injustice in the American South of the 1960s. Then, when his brother was murdered, Bobby let his grief enhance him, not cripple him. It was his personal pain that sensitized him to the suffering of others, and emboldened him to take on a sitting President regarding the Vietnam War.

That capacity to change fascinates me and inspires me to try to be better.

50 years ago, Bobby lost consciousness on a hotel kitchen floor, his bloody head cradled by a busboy. Juan Romero was a 17-year-old immigrant who pressed his rosary beads into Bobby's hand and recited prayers with him on the filthy linoleum. It's so fitting, it breaks my heart.

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