Sunday Stealing

End of Year Questions

1. What did you do last year that you had not done before? I went through a friend being widowed. The enormity of it was humbling.

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions/goals for the year and will you make/set more for next year?  What are they? What are your new ones? Last year, I vowed to FOCUS. That was a bit too ambitious/ambiguous, so this year I have narrowed my OneWord to NOW.

3. Did anyone you know give birth? Or become pregnant?  Or adopt? My faraway niece had a baby in November. I don't really know her at all because of distance and because her mother is, well ... "psycho bitch" is unkind so let's just say my older sister is "difficult." Still, my niece has tried to have a relationship with me and I honor that so I sent her a pink infant's t-shirt emblazoned with a Cub logo. It was, literally, the least I could do. I mean, I bought it because I was at the park and I wanted a 2016 World Champions gift bag for myself and had to buy something to get the bag. Anyway, the baby now fits into the shirt and my niece proudly posted a pic of her in her present from me. Gulp. That was humbling, too.

4. Did anyone you know die? Or have a serious illness/injury? See #1.

5. What places have you visited? Grand Haven, Michigan. Las Vegas, Nevada. Key West, Florida.

6. Any new pets? Lost a pet? No. These two are just fine -- and much loved.

7. What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year (doesn't have to be a physical thing i.e. love, job security, peace of mind...)? Love, job security and peace of mind would all be nice.

8. What date from last year will remain etched in your memory and why? November 22. I woke up on my birthday in Vegas.

9. What was your biggest achievement last year? I'm healthier than I was last year. I had a rather detailed life insurance physical and a colonoscopy that bear this out.

10. Did you get sick or injured? No. YEA!

11. What was the best thing you bought? Almost exactly a year ago, I bought a commemorative magazine about Barack Obama for my friend Kathy. Here in Chicagoland, we're naturally all very proud of him, but Kathy loooooves Barack Obama. I also bought her lunch at the restaurant of her choice and made a contribution to Organizing for Action in her honor and called it an early birthday celebration. The joy this brought her made me happy and taught me something: The old saying is true and it IS the thought that counts.

12. Where did most of your disposable income go (money leftover after you pay for food, medical care, basic clothing, transportation and shelter)? I haven't actually checked this, but I bet it's dining out. I dine out way too much.

13. What song will always remind you of last year?  Doesn't have to be a song released last year. Nothing springs to mind.

14. What do you wish you would have done more of? Worked out.

15. What do you wish you would have done less of? Worried.

16. What was your favorite new TV program? Movie? Album/Songs? Or if you didn't pick up any new ones, what are you still watching/listening to? Any recommendations? I loved This Is Us. I appreciated -- and was frightened by -- IT. Of movies that are playing now, I really liked All the Money in the World.

17. What was the best book you read this year?  How many did you read? I read 14 books this year. The best was Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Daughter. It was educational and very, very moving. And important. Since Rosemary and her mental disability had such a big impact on her siblings, her life had an impact on America.

18. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? Did you feel differently? I turned 60 in Las Vegas. I can't believe I'm this old. But still, I had fun. We went to Madame Tussaud's Celebrity Wax Experience (it's more than "a wax museum," because everything in Vegas is more) and then we saw The Beatles' Love. It was fun. Celebrating in Vegas is fun.
19. What political or social issue stirred you the most? Oh, God. I suppose the indictment and guilty plea of General Michael ("Lock Her Up") Flynn. I fear we're on our way to impeachment. Fortunately, I remember Watergate and believe the center will hold. I have faith in our Constitution and our institutions.

20. Who was the most interesting new person you met? Caleb, Napoleon's "dad." He helped me learn important things about the plight of the homeless.

21. Describe how a relationship changed. Nothing comes to mind. Sorry.

22. Do you think you are still the same person that you were at the beginning of the year?  How so? Yes. Nothing life-altering happened this year.

23. Summarize the year in three words or less. Bonus points for doing it in one word. Explain.  Nothing life altering.

24. How have people around you changed? Barb lost her husband. Kathleen changed jobs. Mindy's husband faced health issues. Joanna faced money trouble.

25. What have you learned throughout the year? (Other than crafts) See #20. Caleb has given me a window into the lives of the homeless and I'm peering in. I know the difference between shelters. I know where they can get free legal help.

26. Did you learn any new crafts or techniques? What was your favorite thing you made? I don't have anything to point to here. Sorry.

27. What changed about your physical appearance? (Hair? Wrinkles? New makeup style? Etc) I noticed my varicose veins are more pronounced.

28. What are your hopes and dreams for the new year?  (Some suggestions-family, travel, work, lifestyle, hobbies, pets, appearance) To stay in the present. To enjoy the present. To not let my worry about money or job stability rob me of the here and now.

He is a crafty one

I wasn't going to go to church today. It's cold. I didn't feel like putting on nice clothes (you know, ones that require a bra). Yet somehow, for some reason, I found myself getting dressed and going out the door.

As usual, our minister today preached first to the children in our congregation, reading them a story before they went down to their Sunday School classes. I loved today's story. It was about noticing things. She reminded them that just because they don't pass pyramids, like in Egypt, or lonely bears fighting to survive, like on the North Pole, every life has interesting and important things to notice. (Like your neighbor, who named her dog Shirley and dresses Shirley in sweaters for walks when it's cold.) While good for the children, it's also important for me. To stay in the here and now. To stay aware and enjoy the world around me.

Then our closing hymn seemed directly at me. #350: "The Ceaseless Flow of Time." The final verse goes, "The past and future ever meet in the eternal now/to make each day a thing complete should be our New Year vow."

I'm surprised anew by the ways God reaches out to me. He is supporting my intention for 2018, my OneWord.

Live by the sword ...

So President Trump doesn't want us to read this book because it's filled with untruths. President Trump feels the libel laws in this country are too weak. President Trump hates it when people say things about him that aren't true.

Let's suppose, for a moment, that everything President Trump says about this book is true. He's still full of shit.

We are, after all, talking about a man who -- for years! -- spread completely unfounded rumors about President Barack Obama.

•  Barack Obama was born in Kenya. Trump's "private investigators" went down to Hawaii to dig up dirt. At least that's what he told The Today Show and Meredith Viera in 2011. He's since said Obama was indeed born here and somehow all his birther-ing was Hillary Clinton's fault.

•  Barack Obama didn't really go to Harvard.

•  Barack Obama was a "terrible student" and didn't deserve to get into Harvard. Also in 2011, Trump made this claim to the AP. Of course, if Obama didn't really go, this is irrelevant. We knew more than six years ago this man spewed inconsistencies. Why would we doubt Mr. Wolff for saying it again now?

• Barack Obama had Trump's phones "wires tapped" in Trump Tower and is "bad (or sick.)" The kindest thing to be said about our current President's paranoid rant against his predecessor is that he's been unable to provide proof.

And this is just Barack Obama. Shall we discuss how Trump denied ever being rejected for a Florida casino gambling license during Jeb Bush's administration? Or spread the rumor that Ted Cruz' dad was involved int he JFK assassination?

If Donald Trump's kids haven't turned out to be exemplary citizens, I don't know that we can blame them when they had this sterling role model.

With all due respect, Mr. President, you need to get over yourself. And take a good, long look in the mirror before you throw stones at Michael Wolff.

A highlight of a lowkey Saturday

Here is why I can't wait for Christmas 2018. I got this Ugly Cubs Christmas Sweater on sale at the local Rally House. It was 30% off! The ones they had left in stock were all big and cut for men, so it's ginormous on me, but I think that only adds to the charm.

So today I woke up and couldn't remember what day it was. Delighted to look at my calendar and see nothing on it, I indulged in episode after episode of my latest obsession: Pawn Stars. (It's on again as I post this; I think it's like the new millennium I Love Lucy and is on somewhere at all times.)

Then I took myself out for a lovely breakfast of blueberry/ricotta pancakes with a side order of bacon and a mug of gingerbread hot chocolate. (How's that for a hearty meal on a cold day?)

Then I took a long winter's nap, woke up and did laundry.

It's scary how much I enjoy doing nothing.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm (2006)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Bette Midler sings about the storm that's raging outside. How's the weather where you are today? Today we're looking at double digits! 15º! Yea! Otherwise, it's been zero or below and that's such a drag. I'm always surprised and delighted by how warm 15º can feel. Oh, well. It's winter in Chicagoland. Let's just concentrate on how soon the Cubs will be playing the Marlins in their 2018 opener (March 29).

2) She mentions her gloves. Tell us about your favorite pair of gloves or mittens. The Cubs touch-texting gloves my nephew gave me for Christmas 2015. Those fingertips are so convenient! Unfortunately, it's been too cold this week for them. I had to go with my bulkier mittens.

3) Does your home have a fireplace to keep you warm? No. Not necessary. The colder it gets outdoors, the hotter and drier it gets indoors.

4) Bette's father, Fred, supported his family as a house painter. Have you ever held a job that kept you outdoors a great deal of the time? Nope.

5) Her mother, Ruth, was a talented seamstress. How about you? Can you sew on a button? Raise a hem? Darn a hole? I'm hardly talented, but I can sew a button. And being 5'2, raising hems is essential.

6) 2017 was a big year for Bette. At the age of 72, she opened on Broadway in the revival of Hello, Dolly! and won a Tony. As we kick off 2018, what would you like to accomplish this year? My OneWord for 2018 is NOW. There's where I'd like to keep my wandering mind this year. I think I'd be happier if I stayed in the here and NOW.

7) Bette and her husband Martin have been married for nearly 34 years. Their wedding was officiated by an Elvis impersonator. Are you looking forward to any weddings in 2018? I hope not. Every time there's a wedding in this family, there's so much drama. (PS, Good for Bette! I'm always hearing online complaints about how "immoral" the "libtards" and denizens of "Hollyweird" are ... usually from people who have a divorce or two in their own households. I think it's cool that Bette and her husband have managed to make their union work.)

 

8) Bette and Martin are very proud of their daughter, Sophie, now 30, who graduated from Yale in 2008. Do you expect to attend any graduation ceremonies in 2018? My nephew graduates from highschool in 2018. Bravo!

9) Random question: Yesterday, who did you spend the most time with? My coworker. We sit practically on top of one another in this office we share and we've been busy this week. Also, she just lost her mother and her father is responding in a wildly inappropriate manner. As a motherless daughter myself, I'm glad I could help her through this week. She hugged me before she left.

The Friday 56

The Friday 56

Rules:
*Grab a book, any book.

*Turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader
(If you have to improvise, that's ok.)
*Find any sentence, (or few, just don't spoil it)
*Post it.  

From X by Sue Grafton. If you're a fan of the "alphabet series," you know that the enjoyment doesn't only come from seeing a mystery solved. We've also all come to love Kinsey and the cast of characters we encounter every time we curls up with one of these books.

And so I'm going to toss the spotlight on an exchange between Kinsey and her landlord, Henry. As she tries to get to the bottom of a tangled web of deceit, he searches for innovative ways to conserve during one of California's punishing droughts.

From page 56: Henry glanced at me with a wry smile. "I made a discovery today. You know how Ed (the cat) has been getting out?"

"No clue."

"Dryer vent. The tubing came loose and I spotted the hole when I was crawling through the bushes, checking the water lines."

"You close it up?

"I did. He'll probably find another way out, but for now, Ed is housebound."

Apparently Henry hadn't noticed the cat at his feet, and I made no mention of him.

Well, this sucks

I contacted Will today because I had a hard time finding the 2018 schedule for our Classic Movie Meetup. Well, guess what: there are no meetups scheduled for 2018.

Meetup raised their prices. The venue where we meet nearly doubled their prices. While he never looked at this as a revenue generator, he can't afford to lose money on our screenings. In 2018, Will just can't make it work at $5/person.

NOOOOOO!

I did a little research and found a venue that will let us meet there for $100/evening. While we wouldn't have a big movie screen, we would have a good-sized flat-screen TV. It doesn't have the free parking our previous place did, but it's far more accessible to public transportation. And while $100 is cheaper than the room we'd been using will be in 2018, it's still too expensive for Will at $5/person.

I told him to raise our ticket price from $5 to $10. I mean, REALLY! A cheap matinee movie ticket is now $6.50 and the average price of a movie in Chicago is over $13. I don't think $10 for a movie, and the insights and conversation Will brings to it, is at all unreasonable.

Will is going to try to negotiate a lower price. The meeting room for rent is usually only in use during the workday. Maybe Will can convince him to reduce the cost because the room is just sitting empty in the evenings and this would be incremental income.

I also found a church on the northside that rents out their meeting rooms for not-for-profits. I couldn't get a price for Will, but I gave him the info. I'm hoping one of these pans out ... or at least that the faith I have shown in our movie group will propel Will to work harder to find a new place.

He's been so depressed about the precipitous price increase at our previous venue. It's a community center right in his neighborhood and he thought it was being a good citizen by supporting it. Then, after nearly five years, they suddenly jack up their fees and price him out.

Hanging in there!

I saw Napoleon and his human, Randi, today!  They were sitting on their usual street corner. Cold, very cold to be sure, but she reassured me they were OK. The diarrhea that plagued Napoleon before Christmas is now a thing of the past. The shelter they have been frequently, which usually charges $23/person for a shower and a place to sleep, has lowered their price to $15 during this coldsnap. On the worst nights, Randi and Caleb and Napoleon have stayed there.

But here's the thing: colder weather means fewer people out on the street to help them out, so if they can bear it, they still sleep in their tent. She explained to me that it's really not so bad, except in the morning they find themselves uncomfortably wet. Their breath turns into condensation. I don't have any extra blankets -- this condo runs to the warm side -- but I do have some nice, serviceable bath towels to share. She enthusiastically said they would be most welcome and sort of explained how the towels would help. I didn't really follow, but didn't ask her to elaborate, either, because I know she doesn't like to just talk about her situation. She appreciates it when I relate to her as another woman, not as a "homeless woman." So when she asked about my Christmas, I told her about how my Florida bug bites swelled up and I ended up in Immediate Care last week. I also mentioned that I prayed for them in church on Christmas Eve. It had been almost three weeks since I'd seen them, and I wanted her to know they'd been in my thoughts.

This evening I packed up the three bath towels and gave them a spritz of Downy. After all, they've been in my closet for years and I don't want to give them anything musty for their enclosed tent. I also tossed in an Ann Rule paperback I found at the Little Free Library, since I know Ms. Rule is Caleb's favorite author.

It feels good to get out of myself and my own head a little bit, and think about Napoleon and his peeps.

And so it begins

On Friday I will meet members of our sister agency in St. Louis. Our hour-long "meet-and-greet" will run from 11 to noon. In the invitation, I'm introduced as part of the Chicago team that "makes the magic happen."

As it has been explained to me -- officially, not rumor -- St. Louis is handling one (very large) portion of our client's monolith business, while here in Chicago we will continue to service a separate and much smaller division.

My boss assures me this is all there is to it. I am not so sure. Without boring everyone beyond endurance, there's a financial aspect to this that makes me wonder how having two agencies under the same corporate banner will be profitable. And, since we're the smaller element, if one side is going to swallow the other, it makes sense that I'm the guppy.

On the other hand, they are meeting with us. And I'm now included in correspondence on the topic (instead of being reduced to surreptitiously reading "confidential" decks abandoned on the printer).

I just wish I was looking back on this, and all this attendant stress and drama.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? X by Sue Grafton. Cracking open this volume made me sad. With Sue's recent passing and her daughter's announcement that Z is for Zero will never be finished and "as far as we in the family are concerned, the alphabet ends at Y," my time with series heroine Kinsey Milhone is limited to this one and Y is for Yesterday, which I got for Christmas.

Anyway, X promises to be a rather complicated volume, with different stories intersecting. So far there's an art heist and a missing parolee. Grafton is successful at creating a sense of foreboding. I'm not far into it (Kinsey is just now having her glass of wine with Henry), but I've already read things like, "I read until midnight, still thinking life was swell," and "I ask myself even now if I should have picked up the truth faster than I did." 

2. What did you recently finish reading?A Christmas Return by Anne Perry. I thought this would be a holiday mystery, but it's not. We know whodunnit all along, we just don't know if he'll get away with it. 

Set in the 1890s, this is the story of Mariah Ellis. This wealthy, crusty and rather lonely grandmother takes a Christmas trip to avenge the murder of a man she deeply admired, to protect the reputation of his widow, and to stop a very, very bad man.

It's also about tough decisions, missed opportunities and regret. It was more serious, and less Christmas-y, than I expected (though there was a lovely, memorable passage about a tabletop nativity that touched me). Still, I'm glad I met Mariah Ellis and am grateful for the time I spent with her.

 

 3.  What will you read next? Maybe another mystery? Or a biography. My TBR pile is stacked high with both.  

It seemed fitting

My neighbor Walt made sure there was always a calendar on the bulletin board in our laundry room.

He lived in this building for many decades before he died at age 90 in May 2017. Until 2016, he was a good neighbor. Then he got ... well ... inappropriate. Maybe it was the meds he was taking for the variety of conditions that plagued him. I started avoiding him because he creeped me out so badly.

But that's not the measure of the man, is it? Should all of his many years on earth be judged based on one? So I made a small gesture in his memory. I hung one of the free calendars I received this year, right there on the bulletin board in our laundry room.

Rest in peace, Walt.

How is Napoleon?

Tomorrow I go back into The Loop for the first time in two weeks. For the last week or so, it's been frigid here. It's not predicted to get up to bearable until this weekend ... and then it will snow.

I can't stop thinking about the homeless, both human and furry. Specifically, I've got Napoleon on my mind. This cat's humans -- Caleb and Randi -- can't possibly have raised the $450+ it would take to stay indoors for 10 nights at their preferred shelter, which both offers shower facilities and welcomes pets.

So where has Napoleon been? Is he OK? As my own Reynaldo and I battle over his prescription, chicken-flavored cat food (more than $2/can!) I worry about Napoleon. He had on again/off again bouts of diarrhea before I left for my holiday vacation. That could be serious, that could be nothing. I recommended repeatedly that they should take him to see a vet, but I know that the vet who is familiar with both Napoleon and their situation requires a $45 cash payment before he'll see the cat.

I wonder if Napoleon would be better off at the Anti-Cruelty Society. They don't get that many young cats this time of year, and if his health is sound he may be adopted quickly. But what would that do to Caleb and Randi? They love that cat so much. I am haunted by the memory of her, sitting on the sidewalk in the rain with Napoleon in her lap, crying in the chilly night because she was sure he was ill. Caleb has told me that rescuing Napoleon has given their lives meaning. So while I'm sure Napoleon would do well by being put up for adoption, I'm not sure his humans would recover.

Last time I went to church -- Christmas Eve -- I started to cry, thinking about Napoleon and Caleb and Randi. My darling friend, Henry, usually so compassionate, just kind of glazed over when I told him what was wrong. One of my coworkers has made it plain that she doesn't approve of my relationship with them. Either it embarrasses her that I drop to my knees to talk to them on the corner outside our office, or she thinks they are con artists (or maybe both). My oldest friend doesn't want to hear about them, either. I suppose she has so many of her own problems that this is just too much.

And, I guess, there's the fact that I haven't actually helped them in any lasting way. Over the last

six months I've probably spent just over $100 on them. Not enough to make a real impact on their situation. I have learned that they appreciate being spoken to as people, not "homeless people." Caleb loves talking books, Randi loves talking about Napoleon and hearing about my cats. So I suppose my friendship matters. And I did help Caleb get his teenage shoplifting conviction expunged (though it took too long to help him get that job he was counting on).

I don't know what the point of this post is, really. My heart is full and rather heavy and I thought it would help to get it down. If you're still reading, thank you for listening.

2018 is NOW

Thanks to Kwizgiver, I have chosen a theme word for the upcoming year:

NOW

adverb

at the present time or moment

 

I find myself struggling with concentration on the here and now, instead of what had been's or what if's. I realize this is a subset of my 2017 issue/OneWord: FOCUS. I suspect that my 2017 word was too broad and too aspirational. Perhaps that's why I can't point to any single accomplishment last year that I can attribute to FOCUS.

 

I hope that by narrowing and sharpening my focus (there it is again) on the NOW, I'll be happier and more productive. 

 

 

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: Year End Hodgepodge

1. Where have you found unexpected magic or delight this holiday season? I had a lovely time at the new The Tennessee Williams Exhibit I discovered in Key West. It's not that it's extensive or detailed. It's not. But it was done by locals with such affection for their late neighbor that it made me happy. Here's my post about it.

2. What's your favorite type of holiday gathering? Will you/have you gathered in your favorite way this month? I like being surrounded by people who love and accept me. And yes, I've enjoyed the holidays that way.

3. Time has named 'The Silence Breakers' (women who came forward with stories of harassment)  'person of the year' for 2017. Would you agree? If not, who do you think deserves the title? YES! Yesyesyesyesyes, 100x yes. I could not agree more with the recognition for The Silence Breakers. This is how change happens. Bravo to Ronan Farrow for sticking with the Weinstein story and starting the ball rolling.

4. How did you spend your time this year? Are you happy about that? Elaborate. I wasted a lot of time this year. Agonizing and fretting. Farting around on Farmville. I hope I will be more disciplined in 2018 (though I doubt it).

5. Bid farewell to 2017 in ten words or less. Thank God, everyone I love is more or less healthy.

6. Insert your own random thought here. The Cubs play the Marlins in Miami on March 29. GO, CUBS, GO!

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: It's Just Another New Year's Eve

1) In this song, Barry Manilow declares New Year's Eve is "just another night." How do you feel about 12/31? Is it a special occasion or just another night? Just another night. Otherwise I've found New Year's Eve is never as much fun as it's supposed to be. This year my plans got cancelled and I'm OK with that.


2) Barry sings that in the past year, "we've made mistakes." What in 2017 do you wish you could do over? Back in September, I saw a confidential document on the Xerox machine that detailed plans for my department in 2018. I've been worrying and fretting about what I saw ever since. I wish I had taken the damn thing and read it in its entirety. Then maybe I'd actually understand what's going on!

 
3) He also sings of happy nights with friends. Tell us about a really good time you had in the past year. Also in September, I went to Wrigley Field with my friend John. The game itself didn't matter -- my guys had already clinched a place in the play-offs and my favoritemost Cub (Anthony Rizzo!) didn't even play. But it was a great day. Sunshine, camaraderie, and margaritas in my favorite place in the world. (BTW, the Cubs play their first game on the road on March 29. I just have to hang on for 90 more days.)

4) The song references growing wiser, as well as older. What's something you learned or discovered in 2017? I learned about Rosemary LaBianca. Up until I read Helter Skelter this year, I thought she was "just a housewife," just "another victim" of the ugly Manson "family." She was a gallant and accomplished woman. She went from single mother to millionaire entrepreneur in the early 1960s, before the women's movement made business more welcome for women. She was a loving mother and stepmother. She deserves to be remembered.

5)  What do you wish you had spent more time doing during 2017? Working out.

6)  What was the smartest thing you did all this past year? I did a very good job for my client this year. There are projects I can point to with pride.

7)  As this year comes to a close, what are you most grateful for? My health.
  

8) When this week's featured artist, Barry Manilow, was a jingle writer, he wrote the famous "You deserve a break today at McDonald's" song. When's the last time you visited the Golden Arches? It's been months. But every time I go, I completely savor the Big Mac. I really do love that burger every now and again.
 

9) Random question: In high school, were you more popular with the boys or the girls? I hated high school so much. That said, I did have girl friends that I hung around with on occasion.

Goodbye, Friend

Today, I heard that Sue Grafton died. I enjoyed her "Alphabet Series" so much! Her writing was crisp and smart. I admired her savvy in handling this franchise (refusing to allow made-for-tv movies, keeping it set in the 1970s). I loved her characters, especially Kinsey and Henry. Her last book, Y Is for Yesterday, is currently on the best seller list and was one of the books I just picked up this past week.

Sue Grafton mattered to me. So, in tribute, I'm reposting a Thursday Thirteen from 2008.

THIRTEEN THINGS ABOUT KINSEY MILHONE

Kinsey Milhone is Sue Grafton’s creation, the heroine of the popular “Alphabet Mysteries.” So I realize Kinsey is fictional, even though she seems like a buddy. After all, we’ve gone from A Is for Alibi through T Is for Trespass together.

Earlier this year, I did a TT on Patricia Cornwell’s Kay Scarpetta, the bigger-than-life, this-close-to-perfect doctor/lawyer/gourmand. While Kay is the kind of woman I hopelessly aspire to be, Kinsey is far, far more accessible. There’s nothing intimidating about my buddy Kinsey. Down-to-earth, no-nonsense, fabulously flawed and very funny, she’s as comfortable as a pair of old running shoes (her favorite footwear).

1. When she was 5 years old, she and her parents were in a car accident. Kinsey was the only survivor. While she grew up to be a successful and self-sufficient woman, Kinsey has intimacy and abandonment issues, and it’s not hard to see why.

2. She was raised by her Aunt Gin. A contented and single woman living in Santa Theresa, California, Aunt Gin did the best she could. But she never planned on having a family, and didn’t quite know what to do with a traumatized little girl. So while these two lived in the same house, we really don’t imagine them together very much.

3. Her career at Santa Theresa High seems to have been devoted to smoking pot, cussing, and doing only what was necessary to not flunk. After graduation, Kinsey joined her aunt at California Fidelity Insurance, working as a receptionist and hating it, until she was old enough to try her hand at police work.

4. It was joining the Santa Theresa Police Department that straightened our girl out. While she had big problems with the regimentation that went with being a cop – she left the force after just two years – she discovered she had a passion for investigating and protecting the good guys from the bad ones.

5. Kinsey endured two short, unsuccessful marriages. The first, to Mickey, occurred after she left the force, when her Aunt Gin died and she was emotionally adrift. Her second husband was a musician named Daniel. Since they each turn up in books, and so as not to be a spoiler, I shall say no more. Of her husbands, Kinsey has said, “I dumped the first and the second dumped me.”

6. She’s had a few lovers throughout the alphabet – Charlie, Jonah, Dietz (my favorite) and Cheyney. None of these relationships have lasted because we all know her great love is really …

7. Henry Pitts, her landlord and best friend. He’s in his 80s, but that doesn’t stop her from completely adoring him. She mentions his blue eyes often. He bakes for her, shares Happy Hour with her (he has Jack Daniels on ice, she has her wine), celebrates Christmas and birthdays with her.

8. Rosie runs Rosie’s Tavern, Kinsey’s favorite restaurant. Rosie has brightly dyed hair and wears print muumuus and annoys Kinsey no end. She is also a fabulous cook, and her tavern is Kinsey’s refuge after even the most dangerous “day at the office.” Rosie, Henry, and Henry's various siblings make up Kinsey's surrogate family.

9. Kinsey has some unconventional talents, which come in very handy in her chosen profession: lying, picking locks and snooping. She enjoys all three equally (which is to say she enjoys them all a great deal).

10. She’s not a fitness nut, but she understands that being in shape is as important to her job as a good set of picklocks. So she jogs 3 miles every day. Sometimes she enjoys it, oftentimes not.

11. She owns a single, all-purpose black dress, doesn’t wear makeup and has been known to hack at her curly hair with nail scissors.

12. She drinks lots of coffee and loves McDonald’s. Especially Q-Ps with cheese and Egg McMuffins. She has referred to fats and carbs as “nature’s antidepressants.”

13. Unlike other fictional crimefighters (like Scarpetta or Robert Parker's Spenser), Kinsey often has to resort to markedly unglamorous tasks to pay the rent. She’s served subpoenas, investigated car insurance claims and taken jobs with clients she hasn’t really cared for. Seeing her in workaday situations makes her seem more real to me.

I know that since she's already on "T," Sue Grafton will reach the end of the alphabet, and this series, soon. Too soon for my taste. I'll miss Kinsey: she who writes clues down on index cards and arranges and rearranges them, trying to solve the crime; she who cleans compulsively and never leaves home without a paperback in her purse; she who has a strict personal code and lives by it. I've enjoyed every moment I've spent with her.

Not with a bang, but with a series of whimpers

2017 wasn't a bad year for me, but it ends on uncomfortably because I have to slather myself with a prescription corticosteroid every few hours (see post below). But it seems so many people around me are suffering.

Joanna. First, she came down with a terrible chest cold that just won't let her go, and caused her to cancel her year-end visit to New Orleans (and miss her niece's wedding). Then she had to put her beloved black girlcat to sleep. Now she's had to beg out on our year-end celebration because of that tenacious cough and now a toothache. Because I'm still scratching and clawing, I'm just as happy to stay home in my pajamas and ointment. But still, I feel bad for her.

My coworker. I can't believe how her Christmas has unfolded. First her father went from California to Texas for the holidays with one of his daughters, and was promptly hospitalized with a heart attack. Then, on December 23, her mother -- long in custodial care in Los Angeles -- died. Mom's been cremated, but there has been no service because dad isn't strong enough to make the decisions. I can't imagine what this is like for her.

My oldest friend. She can no longer afford her apartment and is moving in with her cousin. I think this is a wonderful, because my friend moved from Chicagoland to California to be near her. She, however, seems to view it as yet another indication of her failure to make her life work out there.

Somehow, my itchy skin doesn't seem so bad.