August Happiness Challenge -- Day 6

My 2024 Happiness Icon

Today's happiness: Cat Video Fest 24

 

My friend Elaine and I leaned into the Childless Cat Lady thing and went to Cat Video Fest 2024 at The Music Box Theater. This compilation was a delight, and our admission helped raise funds for a local animal shelter.

Afterward we went to Crosby's Kitchen for dinner. As if spending time with a good friend, supporting cats in need and enjoying a good meal weren't enough happiness for one day, there's this: I was able to pay for all of it out of the beer stein on my kitchen counter. Here's the deal -- at the end of the week, I put any cash I haven't spent into that stein. Using that money keeps me from putting socializing/entertaining on my credit card.

 

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? One Dog Night by David Rosenfelt. The book I recently finished, while good, was a downer. And so I need a dose of distraction. Who better to deliver it than my fantasy boyfriend, Andy Carpenter, in this, the 9th book of the series?

Why do I love Andy so much? Because he loves baseball and classic rock, has a smart mouth, is a lawyer who only works when he wants to, and loves animals. Especially his dog, Tara. In this volume, we get some of Tara's backstory. Up until now, all we've known about her is that she is brilliant and beautiful, and that she was already an adult dog in full bloom of fabulousness when she entered Andy's life. Noah Galloway is a man in trouble who is not only in need of a lawyer, he was Tara's owner before Andy.

 

2. What did you recently finish reading? Once Upon a Time by Elizabeth Beller. Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy is almost always just a footnote in Kennedy lore. Often a mystery, sometimes a villain. Here she gets her own biography.

So much of the book explores how hard the press was on her in real time, how vastly her friends' recollections differ from her icy public persona. That's undoubtedly true. Narratives were spun every time she left or re-entered the Tribeca loft she shared with America's Prince, and the truth didn't really matter. She was a commodity to be sold, and her feelings didn't matter. She became angry -- very angry -- by how she was treated and depressed by the public's misconception of her. As presented by Beller, her responses were completely understandable. They were not Jackie's responses -- Jackie knew how to rise above the adulation/attention/slander -- but Jackie was sui generis. Carolyn was a separate person. I'm surprised to say I think I would have liked her. I feel bad right now for Meghan Markle.

I also came away with mad respect for the Bessette girls. Daughters of divorce who grew up middle class, nothing (except maybe beauty) was given to them. Let's look at their careers.

•  Lauren Bessette (who died with Carolyn and John) was an economics grad. Fluent in Madarin (!) she spent four years at Morgan Stanley's Hong Kong office before returning to New York, where she became a Vice President at their flagship office on Broadway

•  Lisa Bessette (Lauren's twin and the surviving sister) is now nearly 60 years old. She holds a PhD, lectures on art history at the University of Michigan and consults at the University's art museum.

•  Carolyn graduated from Boston University and worked her way up through the ranks at Calvin Klein. She went from retail sales to personal shopper to director of fashion show production to publicist. Her salary was $100,000/year when she resigned in 1996. That would be over $200,000/year in today's dollars. Not Kennedy-level wealth, but it certainly made her a well paid woman in a glamorous, competitive profession. It made me sad that she had to give up her job at CK because advertisers at John's George magazine thought it was somehow a conflict for ad space.

3. What will you read next? Don't know.

 

 

Teaser Tuesday

Here's how to play.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)

Once Upon a Time by Elizabeth Beller. 25 years after Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy died in a plane crash, her life is being re-examined. This 350-page tome is the highest profile of the books and articles. I wondered why. I think for most of the public, it's promise unfilled. If she'd lived, she'd be 59 now. Perhaps we're all wondering what she would have done with her life. Author Bell offers this explanation.

There is an interesting disconnect between the pictures, which though archival, seemed fresh and of the time I was living, and the articles, which seemed somehow from another era, which they were. The end of the century, the millennium, the last days of the fax machine, the world before 9/11 and, crucially, the full force of the internet. But there was something else that seemed odd: a compulsion to be dismissive of and even disparaging toward Carolyn that appeared to be the flip side to the obsessive attention she attracted.

I so get this. The same could be said about her mother-in-law. In real-time articles abut JBKO, you can track the evolution of the American Woman through the last half of 20th century. In 1960, during the Presidential campaign, Jackie was contrasted with Pat Nixon ... and not favorably. Jackie was considered unrelatable to the average American housewife, with her Social Register pedigree, high-maintenance hair, soft voice and expensive clothes. Her ability to give speeches in French, Italian and Spanish was a boon to her husband in ethnic neighborhoods, but many journalists looked at her as pretentious, over-educated and "not American enough." Then as First Lady and First Widow, we were proud of her. Suddenly her style, dignity and education reflected how we wanted to see ourselves. I believe it was DeGaulle who said, "She taught the world how to behave." When she married Onassis, the press turned on her again. Flighty, shallow, money-grubbing. After he died and she went from Jackie O to Jacqueline Onassis, she was praised again as a woman who worked, even though she didn't have to, because being busy gave her life purpose, as a mother who shepherded her kids safely through a high-profile and challenging childhood in the public eye. Yet when you look at photos of her, from the 1960s to the 1990s, she looks contemporary. Her clothes could be worn today. Her expression is inscrutable. It's as though America kept changing but Jackie was always true to herself.

So I guess I personally wonder less what her daughter-in-law would have done with her life than how we would have dissected and analyzed it over 30 years in the public eye. CBK had a rough time with the press at the beginning. Would they then have come around and lionized her, perhaps as a style icon, advocate or mother? Did Carolyn possess the inner steel it took for Jackie to be Jackie even with the unrelenting scrutiny? I hope this book provides answers.

 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 5

My 2024 Happiness Icon

Today's happiness: My team

You thought this was going to be about the Cubs, didn't you? Well, today I mean my medical team.

This morning my chiropractor squeezed me in to help with that "crunchy" back and my miserable knee. She suggested the massage therapist in her practice and I'm seeing him on Friday. It feels like she's committed to getting me comfortable and well again, and there's always time for me at her office.

 

A week ago Sunday I was in the ER after an extreme allergic reaction to a bug bite. The NP recommended a follow up with my dermatologist and I was able to get in this afternoon, no problem. He is satisfied with how it's healing and switched me from the prescription corticosteroid ointment to Cetaphil moisturizer. (He gave me the cutest teeny-tiny free samples.) I'm supposed to call his office next week and report my progress.

I am so happy to live where quality medical care is so readily available. I realize not everyone is as lucky as I am.

 

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 4

My 2024 Happiness Icon

Today's happiness: Too Good to Go

Do restaurants or grocery stores in your neighborhood participate in Too Good to Go? It's designed to reduce food waste. Early every morning, I check the app to see if any local businesses will be making food available that night at a reduced price. This is food that is still good today but that (likely because of expiration date) they won't be able to sell tomorrow. 

Oh, what a haul I got from Whole Foods tonight! I carried home a big bag of bakery including blueberry bagels, chocolate croissants, cinnamon raisin bread (yay!), pitas and (OMG!) an entire angel food cake. If I'd purchased the same items this morning, they would have cost me $31.45. With the Too Good to Go app, the bill was $7.15.

Part of the fun of Too Good to Go is that you don't know what you're going to get. Finding that cinnamon raisin loaf made my little heart sing. And it helps reduce the amount of food in the neighborhood that goes to waste.

It's not all carbs. My friend Elaine turned me onto Too Good to Go. She lives near Wrigley Field and her freezer is full of soups and stews from her local market, just waiting for fall.

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

Sunday Stealing

From the League of Extraordinary Penpals

1. How would your pet describe you? "She is a furless bi-ped. She cannot run very fast and she never leaps, so she is no fun to play with. However she has thumbs and is the gateway to my food. She gives good headrubs and I like it when she talks to me. (She wisely asks my opinion on many topics.) She is very generous with cuddles when I sit with her. I just wish she wouldn't nudge me away from the other cat's food dish with her foot. With her foot! I am descended from Egyptian gods and deserve better."

2. Tell us a story... Once upon a time there was an engineer. Choo-choo Charlie was his name, we hear. He had an engine and he sure had fun. He used Good 'n Plenty candy to make his train run. Charlie says, "Love my Good 'n Plenty." Charlie says, "Really rings the bell." Charlie says, "Love my Good 'n Plenty. Don't know any other candy that I love so well." The end.

3. What do you pack in your beach / hiking bag. I don't go hiking or to the beach. Sorry.

4. How do you like to spend great weather weekends? I like to walk around my neighborhood. We have terrific tree-lined streets. I love to look up at the sky and see how the tree tops on the east side seem to be touching leafy fingers with the ones on the west side.

5. Describe a time when the circumstances fell in your favor. I've gotten very lucky with my medical team. Every one of my doctors/dentists is very good and attentive. I did minimal research on them, choosing them all based on walkability and whether or not they accept my insurance. It's almost been too easy! 

6. Which summer sounds do you enjoy. I live next to a children's home. One of the best things about summer is hearing the kids enjoying their back yard. 

7. It’s not really summer until ... We sing the song.

8. What music are you listening to these days? I recently rediscovered this CD. The album originally came out when I was in high school. It holds up rather well.

9. How much has changed since last summer? Not a ton. The biggest thing is I now have a part-time job at a card shop. I enjoy it. I am surprisingly comfortable helping customers and it's nice to have (a little) money coming in.

10. What are your favorite things to wear in summer? My jeans shorts

11. What do you miss about winter? My sweaters. I like my sweaters.

12. How would you spend summer vacation as an adult? I wouldn't. I prefer vacationing in March/April. It's a nice way to snap out of the winter doldrums.

13. Describe your ideal get together/party. Good food, good booze, good tunes, good company.

14. What makes you feel like part of your community. Every time I buy groceries for myself, I pick up something small for the local food pantry. When I'm able to fill a big bag of non-perishables and drop it off at the pantry, I feel like I'm helping neighbors in need.

15. How was your July 2024? Not great. The Cubs 13-12 and Anthony Rizzo was on the IL. As my guys go, so go I.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 3

My 2024 Happiness Icon

Today's happiness: Elizabeth Taylor

It was bound to happen: My happiness icon is a direct representation of today's happiness. I love classic film, and LaLiz is one of my all-time favorite classic film goddesses.

First I watched Elizabeth Taylor: The Lost Tapes, the new documentary about her life built around taped interviews. So it's as though she's telling us her life story. In addition to hearing her story in her own voice, there are home movies of her in the pool, no makeup. The woman was ridiculously beautiful.

Next up was Jane Eyre, the classic for this week's movie meet-up. She was just 11 when she played doomed little Helen. Naturally talented and an underrated actress, even then.

I'd been kinda blue today. So I'm grateful to the glamorous Liz for getting me out of my own head for a while.

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

It's the same old battle for me

Melanie vs. Scarlett. I want to be like Melanie Wilkes in Gone with the Wind. She was completely non-judgemental. She saw the best in everyone. She put others first and worked hard to make everyone around her happy and comfortable. To me, she is the embodiment of a woman who lives her Christian faith. But alas, too often my inner Scarlett makes an appearance. Willful, sharp-tongued, self-centered. 

Right now, when it comes to my oldest friend, Scarlett is winning.

About 10 days ago, I sent her this card. I know she's been struggling with health issues and emotional issues and now, even legal issues. Her landlady is trying to evict her. Inside, I wrote that I wanted her to know that whenever she's freaking out, to remember that I freak out, too. I thought she'd feel less isolated.

The words "Normalize Freaking Out" can be peeled off as a sticker

I have no idea how she feels about it. She never acknowledged it.

Then last Sunday morning I went to the ER. I had a severe reaction to a bug bite. I missed my oldest friend so much! First of all, I've known her since Kindergarten. Literally more than 60 years! I was scared and I longed for that continuity. Also, she took pre-med courses in college and worked in physicians' offices, so she speaks fluent doctor. I texted her first while I was waiting to be seen by the doctor. Then again as I was leaving because I thought, silly me, that she might be worried about me.

Yeah, right.

It took her five (5) hours to respond. By text. She predicted the welt would bust open like a zit. I explained that would never happen, that the NP said that the welt would just slowly shrink and go away. She told me to hang tight, that she would call me Monday.

Today is Saturday. She still hasn't called.

She did, however, send me a photo of Robert -- the man she met online, dated once and was told they could be friends but nothing more -- and his daughter headed on a vacation to Boston. She is in love with Robert and he's never going to love her and the whole thing is so sad. Why she thinks I care about the vacation plans of Robert and his daughter is beyond me.

She's been busy on her Tumblr page, posting cat photos and links to pornographic fan fiction stories about (wait for it) Paul McCartney and John Lennon as young men fucking. Complete with lube and dog collars. Under other circumstances, I would find this very funny. After all, for decades she insisted that Barry Manilow was not only straight but a Lothario who left a legion of lady loves weak in the knees. She would get angry at me when I'd tease that she was the only one on the planet who thought he was hetero. In my oldest friend's worldview, The Beatles are gay and the man who sang "Copacabana" in a ruffled shirt was straight. Okeedokee.

But here's the thing: My oldest friend has always been a prude and a bit of a homophobe. Now all of a sudden she gets off on sub-dom gay porn? I'm afraid this means her mental state is devolving, especially when placed in context of recent events.

•  In June, she emailed me that her phone was lost, then found 10 miles away. She said she was on her way to pick it up. That made me happy. My friend has serious health problems and shouldn't be without her phone. Next day she reported the phone had been in her bathroom all along. I replied, "So your bathroom is 10 miles away?" She ignored me.

•  In July, she cancelled the trip to Chicago she had been planning. No big deal, I suppose. Except she waited so long to change her mind that I'm out $170 for the hotel and a week's pay at the card shop (I put in for time off and it was too late for me to change it).

Most of all, I'm mad. I'm mad that she can't be bothered to acknowledge my card or check on my well being because smut about Paul taking it up the ass from John* is more important.

I'm mad that she she got herself into this mess. This move to from Chicagoland to Southern California, which she made by choice, has been a disaster. She's broke. She's isolated. She has allowed herself to self-destruct. How could someone I love so much value herself so cheaply?

All that she could help. Then there's the stuff she can't help. She has kidney trouble, mobility issues, diabetes and a bad heart, and suffers from depression. When I remember that, I get mad at myself for being mad.

Melanie Wilkes wouldn't be mad. Melanie Wilkes would pick up the phone and call her.

I think some of my anger is borne of mourning Henry and John. I am helpless to protect people I love and that's painful and frustrating.

But most of it is that I am furious at her clinging tight to any flotsam and jetsam that floats by (her cousin Sharon, Robert, her online Beatle fan fiction community) and throwing the good bits (me) away.

That's pure Scarlett, isn't it? I can't help it. Right now, I'm not sure I want to.

 

 

*I oversimplify. In some of the stories, John takes it up the ass from Paul. Why a 67-year-old heterosexual woman would suddenly enjoy this is beyond me. If a man were stimulated by these stories, I'd understand. But I never have sex fantasies that don't star me. Maybe that's the Scarlett in me, too.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Ghostbusters (1984)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Number 1 on the charts in August 40 years ago, "Ghostbusters" was written quickly. The Ghostbusters producers originally approached Lindsay Buckingham to write the movie theme. Buckingham took a long time to say no, and the film's production date could not be changed. That left Ray Parker Jr. only a few days to come up with a song. Do you work well with a tight deadline? Yes. I was in advertising for 43 years. Tight deadlines and strict budgets were the guardrails to creativity.

2) Parker recalls he got his inspiration from a late night TV commercial that kept encouraging viewers to call, call, call. What's the most recent business that you phoned, and why were you calling? Well, the plumbing company called me, not the other way around. They encountered an emergency and had to reschedule replacing the J-bend and p-trap under my sink.

3) The music video (linked above) was directed by Ivan Reitman, who also directed the movie. It features a variety of celebs saying "Ghostbusters!" None of them were paid for this, they all did it as a favor to Reitman. Have you more recently done or received a favor? I don't know if this counts as a favor, technically, but my blogging buddy Snarkypants sent me a greeting card in a pretty blue envelope to lift my spirits. It was much appreciated.

4) In 2009, Ray Parker Jr. made the Ghostbusters theme available as a ring tone. What's your phone's ring tone? The generic Motorola ringtone. I never bothered to change it. When my phone (in my purse) rang during a recent dental appointment, my dentist thought it was his phone. He has a Motorola phone, too, and never bothered to change the ringtone, either.

5) This song is so enduringly popular that a 2020 documentary about Parker is titled, "Who You Gonna Call?" If you were to write a memoir or authorize a documentary about your life, what would you call it? "The Thing of It Is ..." I say that a lot.

6) Early in his career, Ray was in demand as a session musician. He played guitar on the records of some of the 70s most successful female singers, including Tina Turner, Chaka Khan, Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight and Diana Ross. Of those ladies, which is your favorite? It has to be Miss Ross. Ooooh, yeah! This is my favorite from my favorite.

 

Let's look at the summer of 1984.

7) Released in June, the original Ghostbusters was a huge hit throughout the summer. Have you seen it? Did you see the sequel that was released this past spring? I love Chicago's own Bill Murray, so I've seen it a time or two. (Favorite line: "Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!") I've seen parts of Ghostbusters II on cable but none of the subsequent films in the series.

8) Beverly Burns became the first female captain of a Boeing 747. She was a pilot for People Express Airways, an airline which later merged with Continental, and Continental then merged with United. Do you recall which airline you flew when you took your first flight? TWA. ORD to FLL.

9) Ronald Reagan joked about bombing Russia during a mic check for a radio interview. He was embarrassed when the comment was leaked and broadcast around the world. Have you recently felt embarrassed? Oh, sure! I'm always messing up.

August Happiness Challenge: Day 2

2024 Happiness Icon

 

Today's happiness: Getting Out

I got up early this morning and waited for a plumber who didn't come. (See post below.) I understand that shit happens and acknowledge that if my job were an emergency that compromised safety or sanitation, I'd want it to be a priority. So I'm trying to be a good sport about what happened. Which is not to say I liked it or that it wasn't unsettling. 

So what to do? I grabbed my headphones and got out. I listened to Pat Hughes call the Cubs game as I walked to the bank and to Target. Being outside in the sun was good for me. The score (6-3 over the Cardinals) and the Kit-Kat bar I grabbed on the way home helped, too. Suddenly I was content again.

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

My Dream Man

The pipes under my kitchen sink are leaking. I need my J-bend and P-trap replaced. My handyman says it's not the kind of job he's comfortable doing, and referred me to a plumber. The plumber was going to do it today but had to reschedule because of an emergency call. So now I'm going another week with Flex Tape on my pipes and a bucket under the sink, just in case. I feel like a teenager in a dorm, not a grown-ass woman with an AARP card and a mortgage.

And so I'm dreaming of Fred Mertz.The Riccardo's landlord was always available. He could fix plumbing and wiring and doorbells and windows and even helped Lucy out when she asked him to even out the legs on her sofa.

via GIPHY

If you happen to see Fred Mertz, tell him I love him. 

 

August Happiness Challenge: Day 1

2024 Happiness Icon

 

Today's happiness: An Act of Kindness

 

I started Day 1 with a smile because Nicole, the receptionist at my local yoga studio, texted me. I've missed class two weeks in a row -- a rarity for me -- and she asked if I'm OK. 

 

I can be cynical about these things and wondered if perhaps the studio wasn't worried that I had taken my mat elsewhere. But no. First of all, I don't pay for my classes; my monthly membership is a benefit of my Medicare supplement plan and they get their money automatically from the insurance company. Second, I doubt Nicole has access to that information or even cares about it. She's the one who checks us in before class, makes sure we have scented towels for the end of the class, and washes the towels and checks the restrooms between classes. 

She simply likes me and was concerned about me. Which makes me happy!

 

Happy August Happiness Challenge!

 

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

 

Thursday Thirteen #370

Thirteen August Happiness Icons. Every year I participate in the August Happiness Challenge. The idea behind the challenge is simple but powerful: "Each day in August, post something that makes *you* happy. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities and our world." 

You're invited to join me. Visit my daily August Challenge post with a link to your daily August happy and I'll come read it. It helps to add a happiness icon to your August Challenge posts. Here are ones I've used over the years. And yes, scrolling through them makes me happy.

 

1.

2.

 3.

4.

 

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

via GIPHY

10.

11.

12.

13.

                                  This year's is a nod to my love of classic movies.

Here's to 31 days of happiness!

Please join us for THURSDAY THIRTEEN. Click here to play along, and to see other interesting compilations of 13 things.

 

WWW.WEDNESDAY

 

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

PS I no longer participate in WWW.WEDNESDAY via that link because her blog won't accept Blogger comments. I mention this only to save you the frustration I experienced trying to link up.

1. What are you currently reading? Once Upon a Time by Elizabeth Beller. Twenty five years after her death, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy gets her own biography. Beller's premise is that Carolyn didn't get a fair shake from the press in her lifetime, and that we've evolved as a country to the point that we may be able to understand her better.

In real time, the press portrayed her as a bitch. A demanding ice goddess who harshed the buzz we all got from America's prince. There's even a school of thought that Carolyn was responsible for her own death, as well as the deaths of her husband and sister. They took off late that July afternoon and missed the daylight John needed for a safe flight because she was (wait for it) having her pedi done and redone.

This book is decidedly pro-Carolyn, something the author doesn't deny. As I read this, I can't help thinking of Meghan Markle and Linda McCartney. We can be hard on women who don't conform with our ideal of who should marry our favorite men.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death by M.C. Beaton. Locals come from miles around to fill their flasks with the mineral water that flows from a natural spring. A corporation takes note and makes plans to bottle and sell the water. Because she's not only a local but a PR wiz, they hire Agatha Raisin to help them with the new product launch. This is important because not everyone in Ancombe is enthusiastic about the project. In fact, some who opposed it ends up dead.

 

I liked this edition of the series because I guessed the killer straight away. While I felt brilliant, I must confess that I didn't base my conclusion on evidence. I just didn't like that character. But still, a good time was had by all.

3. What will you read next? Don't know.

 

Teaser Tuesday

Here's how to play.

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)

Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death by MC Beaton. My girl Agatha kinda has the blues. She's a little bored in retirement and her next door neighbor/former fiancee James is pointedly ignoring her. As she has a lonely breakfast of black coffee and cigarettes, she bargains with God. If only James would notice her again, she'd do anything. Even give up the smoking James loathed.

The doorbell rang. Perhaps He had heard her prayer. She stubbed out her cigarette.

"Last one," she said loudly to the ceiling.

She opened the front door. Mrs. Darry was standing there.

"I wondered if you could do me a favor, Mrs. Raisin."

"Come in," said Agatha bleakly. She led the way to the kitchen, sat down, and gloomily lit another cigarette.

Mrs. Darry sat down. "I would be grateful if you refrained from smoking."

"Tough," said Agatha. "This is my house and my cigarette. What do you want?"

"Don't you know you are killing myself?"

Agatha looked at her cigarette and then at Mrs. Darry. "As long as I am killing myself I'm not killing you. Out with it. What do you want?"

Except for the fact that I hate smoking, Agatha is my id.