Sunday Stealing

#10: I'd like to be greeted by books in every room.

BOOK QUESTIONS

1. Which book do you irrationally cringe away from reading, despite seeing only positive reviews? It's a three-way tie: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and The Hunger Games.

2. If you could bring three characters to life for a social event (afternoon tea, a night of clubbing, perhaps a world cruise), who would they be and what would the event be? I like the idea of just hanging out over a beer or two with Spenser, Kinsey Milhone and Archie Goodwin. I can see Archie and Kinsey pairing off, leaving Spenser and me to compare/contrast baseball's two great cathedrals: Wrigley Field and Fenway.

3. You are told you can't die until you read the most boring novel on the planet. While this immortality is great for awhile, eventually you realize it's past time to die. Which book would you expect to get you a nice grave? Moby fucking Dick

4. Which book have you pretended, or at least hinted, that you've read, when in fact you've been nowhere near it? The Handmaid's Tale

5. As an addition to the last question, has there been a book that you really thought you had read, only to realize when you read a review about it/go to 'reread' it that you haven't? Which book? I can't think of any.

6. You've been appointed Book Advisor to a VIP (who's not a big reader). What's the first book you'd recommend and why? The Princess Bride. Because it is funny, unique yet familiar, and really is about something if you choose to give it additional thought.

7. A good fairy comes and grants you one wish: you will have perfect reading comprehension in the foreign language of your choice. Which language do you go with? Spanish.

8. A mischievous fairy comes and says that you must choose one book that you will reread once a year for the rest of your life (you can read other books as well). Which book would you pick? Gone with the Wind. I used to read it every summer. The last time I picked it up, I found the insensitive racial attitudes painful and intolerable. I like to believe that I'll be able to get past that next time. I'd hate to think that I will no longer spend time with Scarlett, Melanie, Rhett and Will (who isn't in the movie). Ashley is far more attractive in the book than he is the movie.

9. What's one bookish thing you 'discovered' from book blogging (maybe a new genre, or author, or new appreciation for cover art-anything)? Kwizgiver introduced me to the Spellman mysteries. They're a delight! Thanks, Kwiz! (If I could have a fourth, I'd invite Rae Spellman to join us in #2.)

10. That good fairy is back for one final visit. Now, she's granting you your dream library!
Describe it. Is everything leatherbound? Is it full of first edition hardcovers? Pristine trade paperbacks? Perhaps a few favourite authors have inscribed their works? Go ahead-let your imagination run free. I'd like built-in bookshelves in every room of my house, so I could have a biography room and a mystery room and fiction room and a coffee table book room. And I'd like to rescue used books. There's such romance to holding a book in your hands and wondering who held it before.

 

Saturday's equation

Heavy meal + heavy conversation = long nap. Caught up with Nancy today at a burger joint. Had two delicious sliders, a side of mac and cheese, washed down with a margarita. Quite possibly the least nutritious meal ever, but it was all good.

Nancy's life is complicated right now. She is beginning work on a website and starting to network to launch her own business. Her children are in a state of flux for different reasons -- her daughter is having trouble adjusting to college life, her son is struggling with sobriety. And the issues with her kids have put her int he path of her ex-husband an awful lot lately, and that's not a good thing.

I enjoyed talking to her. She is smart, informed about the world and has a good heart. But different people play different roles in your life. And Nancy is never gonna just be light and laughter. That's not who she is.

So when I got home, I took a nice long nap.

I missed my movie group again tonight. I just couldn't make the suburb-to-city logistics work. But I had one of those "path not taken" moments. As I was closing my eyes, I wondered how different my Saturday would have been if I'd sat in the dark with other movie lovers, watching a Ginger Rogers comedy from 1943.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Waiting for a Star to Fall (1988)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) "Waiting for a Star to Fall" was literally inspired by a falling star. The singing/songwriting duo of Boy Meets Girl was at a big, outdoor concert and could have sworn they saw a falling star in the night sky. Have you ever seen a falling star? No.

2) They offered this song to Whitney Houston, who declined to record it. Whitney did have hits with two other songs they wrote: "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" and "How Will I Know?" What's your favorite Whitney song? Remember how overwhelming it can be when love meets lust? This song captured that for me. (Plus, I really liked her little jacket.)


3) Boy Meets Girl were George and Shannon, a husband-and-wife team originally from Seattle, WA. In 2016, Seattle was named America's most "bike-friendly city." Do you own a bike? Not anymore.

4) George and Shannon met for the first time at a wedding. She was a guest, he was in the band. Think of the last wedding present you bought. Was it from the bride and groom's registry? I can't recall exactly what it was -- it was so long ago that the bride and groom now have two children -- but it was from the registry.

5) In 1988, when this song was popular, 98% of American homes had a TV set. Today, that figure has dipped to 96%, presumably because Millennials are watching more content online. What's the last video you watched online? "So Emotional," Whitney.

6) In 1988 saw the introduction of one of the most memorable slogans of all time: "Just Do It." Without looking it up, do you know what brand "Just Do It" promotes? Nike.

7) In 1988, Sonny Bono went from entertainer to Republican politician when he was elected Mayor of Palm Springs. Have you ever met the mayor of your town? Yes, but he wasn't yet mayor. Just a candidate. I told him I wasn't crazy about how the incumbent had privatized animal control, virtually handing it over to a local animal shelter. The shelter is good, but since it's a volunteer organization I worry that the quality of care depended on the volunteers and I wished there was more oversight. He responded -- rather refreshingly, I thought -- that he really didn't know much about this but would look into it.


8) Michael Douglas took home the Oscar in 1988 for his portrayal of Gordon Gekko in the movie Wall Street. The American Film Institute named Gekko one of the "top movie villains of all time." Do you think bad guys are as interesting as good guys? I think the best movies have the most balanced conflict, with an evenly matched hero and antagonist.

9) Random question: Have you ever seen a photo of yourself naked? (Baby pictures don't count.) I recently saw an xray of my spine. Does that count?

 

She lost her fella

My friend Kathleen's dad last week. It was not sudden. He was over 90 and had been in declining health -- both mentally and physically -- for years now.

As her husband began to fade, Mom promised him that she would keep him at home. Despite hardship -- she's nearly 90 herself and not very strong -- she made good on that. A day nurse was hired, and every evening one of their adult children would come to spend time with Dad and put him to bed. If the nurse noted a change in his condition that indicated the end might be near, his son or daughter would stay the night, so that Mom wouldn't be alone when she found her husband had passed. There had been several close calls over the last month and finally, on the coldest day Chicago had seen in decades, he died in the wee small hours.

I feel bad for Kathleen, of course. Losing a parent is rite of passage -- a big one. But I'm glad that she had those evenings with her dad. She noticed that, around Thanksgiving, he stopped using her name and she suspected he no longer knew which daughter she was. It didn't hurt her feelings. Instead, she took it as a sign the end was even nearer. She was content to sit with him, singing showtunes for a while, and then putting him to bed.

She was disturbed, though, by the explicit nature of some of their conversations. He was never inappropriate about her. Dad seemed to still realize that he shouldn't view his daughter -- whichever daughter she was -- sexually. But he did enjoy comparing and contrasting the bustlines of his various nurses, expressed a curiosity about their genitalia, and even leered at Julie Andrews as they sang along to My Fair Lady.

Kathleen is no prude, understood it was age and medication talking and not her dear old dad. But when dad started talking dirty, she felt bad for her mother, who could overhear.

When Mom looked at Dad, she didn't see dementia or impending death. She saw her husband.  Every evening, when her adult son or daughter arrived, Mom excused herself for about a half hour. She then fixed her hair and make up so she'd look nice for "dinner with Dad."

It breaks my heart that -- after more than 65 years and seven children and 13 grandchildren -- she has lost her boyfriend.

The State of the Union, 2019

So President Donald Trump finally got to give his post-shutdown SOTU address. It included his declaration that the socialism is bad for a democracy, yet we should treat him like a dictator and not look at his finances or behavior. Same outrages, new speech. It's been two years and so his politics of bullying and grievance are not new.

What was interesting and exciting was seeing all those Women in White in the audience. There are now 102 women serving in the House of Representatives, and 89 are Democrats. They are led by Nancy Pelosi, the first and only female Speaker of the House. Last night they wore white in tribute to suffragettes.

Old women ... young women ... women of color ... women of faith ... all in white. So many of them ran for office in response of the behavior and attitude of Donald J. Trump. And now they can hold him accountable. It's glorious.

Sunday Stealing

THREE WISHES

16.) What is your favorite wild animal? Okapi. They look like an other worldly mix of giraffe and zebra, though I believe they are cousins of the giraffe and have no zebra in their bloodline. They are shy and modest -- very rarely are mothers seen nursing their calves -- and herbivores. I'm crazy about them. They "talk" to each other, making a happy chuff noise to one another in greeting. (They don't communicate with us, just each other.)

I learned about them at Brookfield Zoo here in Chicagoland. Brookfield Zoo has had great luck in mating okapis and perpetuating this endangered species. Tampa's Lowry Park Zoo has a great okapi exhibit, too. I've read that they are also at Disney's Animal Kingdom. If you get a chance to observe an okapi, you won't forget him. 

 
17.) Name 3 of your favorite childhood shows: Batman, Bewitched and The Monkees

18.) If you could live as a character in a movie who would it be? Jo from Little Women. Any of the three versions -- and I hear a fourth is one the way. I would love to share an umbrella with Professor Bhaer.

19.) Favorite vegetable? Corn

20.) Favorite Fruit? Banana

21.) If you had a dragon what would you name it? Puff. And I'd be much nicer to my dragon than that little bastard, Jackie Paper, was to his rascal Puff.

22.) What do you put on hotdogs? Ketchup and atomic green relish.

23.) Do you play online games? Yes. Farmville 2.

24.) What's your favorite way to get inspired? A shower.

25.) Do you have a middle name? Yes

26.) If you had to order from a kid's menu, what would you get? I wanted to on Saturday! A local restaurant has a mac/cheese/barbecue sauce dish on the kid's menu I would have liked to try.

27.) Do you speak any other languages? No.

28.) Do you use Twitter? On occasion.

29.) Do you go onto YouTube? I watch, but don't post.

30.) Do you play Angry Birds? I played with my nephew about a decade ago.

My "Favourite"

Oh, this movie! It's twisted and wicked and so very, very funny. The Favourite takes place during the 18th century in Queen Anne's court. The politics and hijinks are highly accessible, even if (like me) you aren't familiar with Queen Anne's reign.

Even with my only superficial knowledge of Queen Anne, I know some things in the movie weren't accurate.* But it doesn't bother me here as much as it did in Vice. After all, no one in modern-day England's take on today's affairs will be influenced by this movie. (Though I might feel differently if I was Brit.)

This movie is concentrating on gender, and tackles that age-old question: would the world be different if women were in charge? The answer is no. This woman-driven court is as filled with petulance, whims, sex, influence peddling and secrets as today's Washington.

It's also very, very vulgar. Be warned. A certain word that makes me cringe is used often and conversationally.

But this doesn't mean I didn't also laugh.

By the way, I was surprised by how many boys and young men were in the audience. Yes, I'm sure some were dragged against their will by their girls. But I think Emma Stone has slipped into that Julia Roberts/Sandra Bullock position as America's Sweetheart. (Even if she is playing a very bad British girl.)

*No one kept rabbits as pets back then. Anne's precious babies would not have enjoyed catered parties, but would have been lunch themselves.

2018 Giving

All my receipts are ready for my tax preparer! In 2018, I gave to 31 charities in all. Here are my personal top ten, the ones that received more than half of my cash contributions. It's like a snapshot of what mattered to me over the last year.

My church

Tree House Animal Foundation -- a cageless, no-kill cat adoption center

Harmony House for Cats -- One of Chicago's smaller shelters, and it's struggling

Feeding America -- A national organization devoted to helping those in need

My community food pantry

Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library Foundation -- Because I love Abe, and their current financial crisis is shameful. When you tour the Lincoln Museum and you see all the school children, you realize how important this organization is today, especially in Trump's America.

Colonial Williamsburg Foundation -- Just because I can't afford to go back doesn't mean others shouldn't enjoy/learn

Greenpeace

Greater Chicago Food Depository -- The bulk of this was a contribution made in memory of the mom of our movie group moderator. Will is very active in this organization and so Joanna and I thought this would be a way to show our sympathy and support. Well, Joanna forgot to pay me her half. Then she hit financial hard times, and I decided against reminding her. We made this donation with good intentions, it's a worthy cause ... and I'm taking the deduction.

Hinsdale Humane Society -- This is the shelter where my mom got her beloved cat, Ethel. I gave on her birthday, Christmas and Mother's Day in her memory.

Cats, the hungry, and American History. Yes, that's a good reflection of where my heart is. And, of course, my church. Because I do try to live a life Christ would approve of.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Backfield in Motion (1969)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.


1) This week's Saturday 9 has a football theme because there's a big game Sunday. Will you be watching? Nope. Football has made me distinctly uncomfortable since I learned how many NFL players suffer/suffered from CTE (chronic brain damage from repeated blows to the head). I don't care how much they get paid, I still worry about the safety of those boys when they take the field.

2) The Super Bowl is the second-largest day for food consumption in the US, second only to Thanksgiving. What's on your menu this weekend? I have no meal plans, but pizza sounds good.

3) Super Bowl Sunday is the #1 day for consuming guacamole. When did you most recently eat something with avocado in it? I can't recall. Not a big fan. I don't care for the taste. Nor the color, come to think of it.

4) The Pro Football Hall of Fame is in Canton, OH. Have you ever visited Canton, or any other city in Ohio? Pearle Vision was a client for a short time and they are headquartered in OH, so I visited for a meeting. I remember that I had a great lox platter at a deli there.

5) This song mentions different moves that football players -- and, it seems, girlfriends -- can make that will result in penalties. What's the last rule you broke? What were the consequences? I used the "handicapped only" gate as I exited the el platform. There weren't any handicapped commuters around, and I didn't feel like squeezing my fat ass, bulky down coat and briefcase through the regular turnstyle. No one yelled at me, so count on me to do it again. (I'm such a rebel.)

6) In 1969, the year this song was popular, the Colts lost to the New York Jets in Super Bowl III. The game is famous because of all the hype leading up to it, including Joe Namath "guaranteeing" his underdog Jets would win. Tell us about a time when you felt like an underdog. Nothing comes to mind. Maybe because I'm so distracted by the thought of Joe Namath doing Medicare supplement commercials. Oh well, at least he looks happy. As opposed to those Tom Selleck commercials. If reverse mortgages make old Tom so sad, I wish he'd stop thinking about them.

7) This week's featured duo, Mel and Tim, are cousins from

Mississippi. Tell us about one of your cousins. My cousin Ryan is a professional musician. He plays in the pit for major touring companies when they hit Chicago (most recently, How the Grinch Stole Christmas). He also teaches, subbing at the local high schools and the community college. He'd rather not teach anymore, but bills still need to get paid. He's very smart, very passionate. Likes his wife, as well as loves her, which I think is very romantic.

8) The song is about a man who catches his girl cheating and he just won't put up with it. In romance, do you find it easy to forgive and forget? Forgive? Yes. Forget? Nuh-uh.

9) Random question: You've collected a box of gently-used items to donate to a second hand store. What would it be most likely to contain: clothes, housewares, or books/video/music? I just so happen to be working on a bag for Goodwill. It currently contains 6 pair of sunglasses, 13 pair of earrings, and 3 sweaters.

My local Goodwill. I hope my sweaters have a short but profitable stay.

Until he got tired

I am happy. Henry and I talked on the phone for two hours tonight! Marathon calls have not been rare since his accident, but tonight was different. He wasn't angry about the police, or his treatment while in the hospital, or the way Reg treats him. In fact, he wasn't angry about anything!

He met author Judy Blume at an event for the library where he works. Or more precisely, she asked to meet him. Now a Key West resident, she'd heard about the local author who was injured in the bike collision and spent some one-on-one time with him. That raised his spirits. For yes, he's a library assistant but he's also a published author and poet, and that's where his heart is.

Somehow we found ourselves on the subject of faces, and he said that actress Kate Hudson has an expressive face that's "more than beautiful." Likewise, Sophia Loren. And me. (People mention Sophia and me together all the time!) He rhapsodized about Reg's heavily-lidded eyes. While it's obvious that his love enhances how he views Reg and me, it was good to hear him sounding like my affectionate old friend again. Friday, he was happy and sweet and positive.

I'm so glad my friend is on his way back to me!

69 days from today

California, here I come!

The worst is behind us

We're emerging from a rather amazing coldsnap. Wednesday the mercury fell to -23º F at O'Hare, making January 30 the second coldest day in Chicago history.

This is the spot where the Chicago River joins Lake Michigan. They were both frozen as of 8:15 Wednesday. And that bridge? How can it possibly be so empty during a weekday rush hour?

From WGNTV.com

My office was closed Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday we had a little excitement here. Our elevator got stuck between the third and fourth floors, with my neighbor riding it! The hydraulic fluid froze and so the car was unable to move. The local fire department rescued her, and once the temperature rose above 0º, it was operational again.

We were advised to keep our faucets running at a trickle to stave off frozen pipes. Reynaldo enjoyed going from sink to sink to tub, investigating the drops.

Note his happy wet head

I ventured out to see my chiropractor on Thursday. It's incredible how warm 6º can feel! And it was good to be out in the sun again.

In all, we had one and a half really bad days. That's why I'm ignoring my Florida-transplant aunt, who has been rejoicing in her decision to leave Chicagoland.

I could have responded with what I always say to Henry and Reg, and that is that when the snow and cold goes away, our homes are still here. I could reply to my aunt that I've never had to evacuate, leaving my home and taking refuge in a motel for a week, the way she did because of Hurricane Irma. I could also mention the wildfires and mudslides my oldest friend in SoCal has dealt with. But I didn't.

Instead, I was just grateful that all "Chiberia" gives me to endure is a day and a half of cocooning. I'm grateful that I have a job that allows me to "work from home" with pay. I think we Chicagoans have a pretty good deal, weatherwise.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW.WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt us to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here.

 

1. What are you currently reading?   

Richard Nixon, The Life by John A. Farrell. As I await the Mueller findings, I find myself thinking of Nixon more and more.

I grew up believing Nixon was the bogeyman. Now I want to know about the man in full. The ambition and intellect as well as the envy (paranoia?) that I suspect propelled his train of thought right off the rails. I want him placed in the context of his times -- the Depression ... WWII ... the Cold War ... the Swinging 60s ... and the Watergate era he created.

I've barely cracked the spine of this book, but it's gotten high marks from political biographers I admire (John Dickerson, Douglas Brinkley, Chris Matthews), so here's hoping this book delivers.

2. What did you recently finish reading?  

Surrender, Dorothy by Meg Wolitzer. A close-knit group of friends spends a few weeks every summer at the same beach house. This year, almost as soon as they arrive, the unthinkable happens. Sara -- their hub, the one who was at the center of it all -- dies suddenly in a tragic accident.

Now what?

They continue in the house, trying to cope with their grief. They are joined by Sara's mother, Natalie, a woman left emotionally shattered by the loss of her only child. Together they mourn and alternately try to keep Sara alive through shared memories, and try to heal and get past their grief.

I had a problem relating to some of the characters. I didn't like overbearing Natalie. Maddy, Sara's oldest friend, was completely unbelievable. I couldn't take seriously a nursing mother who is tormented by irrational fears for her baby's safety, yet she smokes and drinks. (Gee, Maddy, if you're so worried about the baby's welfare, try not feeding him nicotine and alcohol through your milk.) Friends Peter and Shawn felt more like stock characters than real people.

But I loved the character of Adam. I understood his complex and loving relationship with Sara. Maddy may have been Sara's oldest friend and Natalie gave birth to her, but Adam knew her and loved her best. He was with her when she died. The impact of such a loss will be incalculable and lasting, and he knows it.

As Dr. Berger said in Ordinary People, "Control is a tough nut." Everyone in the house is faced with not only loss but a titanic reminder about how fragile their carefully curated world order can be. I appreciated Surrender, Dorothy for tackling that, even if I didn't like the final result. This is an ambitious, well-written book. Just because I found it frustrating doesn't mean I'm sorry I read it.

3.  What will you read next?  

I don't know.

It makes sense now

I've seen every episode of Friends. Many more than once. And so I've often glanced at the Laurel & Hard poster in Chandler and Joey's apartment. But I never really paid attention to it (I thought Stanley was wearing bunny ears) or gave it any thought.

Now I get it. I recently saw Stan & Ollie, which inspired me to learn a bit more about Laurel & Hardy. I came upon the 1928 silent movie, Leave "Em Laughing, and realized how much like the Friends Laurel and Hardy were.

Like Stanley, Joey is forever childlike and bumbling. Like Ollie, Chandler is exasperated and impatient but ultimately loving toward his silly pal.

As luck would have it, Leave 'Em Laughing is the movie that poster was taken from. (And those aren't bunny ears; Stanley has a toothache).

I overtipped

I am no good at math. Never have been. Sunday, it cost me. I took Kathy out for her birthday lunch. We went to my favorite Italian bistro. We both had the lasagna, and the waiter noticed we were celebrating and brought us a big slice of chocolate cake.

The final bill was $53. I had a $20 coupon, and left $50 in cash. Which means I tipped more than 30%. SHIT! I didn't mean to do that! I think I probably should have left $65, not $70.

Oh, well. It all evens out. First of all, with the bitter cold, the restaurant was doing little business. So in reality, that $5 might have meant more to the server than to me.

And Kathy's present was a freebie. My agency bought a gazillion copies of this book, signed by the author, to give as holiday gifts to clients and vendors back in Christmas 2008. When we were packing for our office move in 2018, I saw a pristine copy in the "FREE TO GOOD HOME" bin and thought of Kathy. Naturally all of us in Chicago are proud of our favorite son -- especially in comparison with the petulant agent of chaos who followed him -- but Kathy really loooooves Barack Obama. So I snatched the signed coffee table book and squirreled it away, just for this weekend.

She loved the book and hugged me a lot. So I think I shall just consider the $5 my gift to the universe, and the day as a success.

Go see it!

This weekend, I saw Stan and Ollie, and loved it! I'm only slightly aware of Laurel and Hardy. My oldest friend loved to watch their TV show* when we were little kids and would scratch her head and say, "I'm sorry, Ollie." But there, you now know everything about them that I knew when I put my butt in the seat.

But it's an enormously charming film, even for those of us who are not immersed in the pair's films. It takes place in the 1950s, long after their heyday. They are, frankly, broke and need work, so they go to England and do live shows. Hardy's health and their relationship have both been better.

I enjoyed seeing how seriously they took their craft. I appreciated how tender they were with their fans, especially the newly-minted young ones. At one point, Hardy loses his temper on a street corner and destroys a newspaper, shoving it in a trash can. Then he sees a group of schoolgirls witnessed his unseemly behavior. He immediately recovered, fiddled with his tie and conveyed to the kids that it was all a big joke, done for their benefit. Instead of being disillusioned, the girls were delighted.

Do yourself a favor and spend some time with Stan and Ollie. You will enjoy it, I promise.

*Which, it turns out, wasn't a TV show at all, but edited versions of their movies. They were not paid for these airings, which is fucking criminal.

Sunday Stealing

Conversation Starters

What are some small things that make your day better? Singing with a long-forgotten oldie as I wash my hair, the chance to read my book on the train in the morning, a blue sky.

What shows are you into? The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and Pawn Stars.

What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? Diana

and Her Boys TV. If it can be even tangentially connected to these three, I want to see it.

Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? I am so crazy about The Cubs' Anthony Rizzo, and how he uses his power and fame. For a kid who had cancer to be a major league first baseman and an All Star is a big deal. 

But then there's his charity work. He built the new family waiting room at Lurie Childrens Hospital, so that no other parent will be as uncomfortable as his mother was, waiting to see how her child is doing. He worked with traumatized teens after the Parkland shooting (and faced down the Breitbart crowd, who criticized his efforts). He appears at fundraisers and if he can't be there, he sends signed jerseys and balls to be raffled off.

And there's his sportsmanship. I've seen him apologize to an umpire when he displayed too much attitude. Because "it's never good to show anyone up." I hope kids take note of that as well as his homeruns.

I wish everyone in the world was more like Rizz.

 
What age do you wish you could permanently be? 35. I felt sexy and healthy and completely on it when I was 35.

What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? Seinfeld. Or Game of Thrones.

What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don’t think you could live without? As many cable channels as I can get.

What’s your claim to fame? Bruce Springsteen dipped me back and kissed me.

What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Read bound books.

What’s your favorite genre of book or movie? I read a lot of biographies. I like just about any kind of movie except epics.

How often do you people watch? Every morning on the el.

What have you only recently formed an opinion about? I don't know. I'm pretty opinionated.

What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Lucille Ball's early film career.

A full career before Lucy Riccardo

What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home? I went to Europe once and Hawaii twice. I can never remember which one is farther from Chicago, but they're both soul crushing flights.

What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Critters. Dogs and especially cats melt me.

What is the most annoying question that people ask you? I was annoyed by an Uber driver who asked me, "Do you still work?"

What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation? The Kennedys.

If you were dictator of a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? Light bulbs would be standard issue. I hate buying them because they're so boring. OH! And I would ban choose-a-size paper towels. Life demands we make too many choices. Enough already!

What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? Travel by train. Stop, breathe, enjoy the view.

About Alban

I have an unlikely Facebook friend. His name is Alban. He is a 16-year-old high school student in Michigan.

We "met" on a page devoted to the Beatles. He asked why Wings broke up, and was eviscerated. Apparently, among the faithful, this is a stupid question. Never mind that, for Alban, Wings are ancient history. After all, he wasn't born until after Linda McCartney's death. Forget that -- were he to "just Google it," as he was advised to -- he would receive an overwhelming 186,000,000 results.

Most of all, disregard that we're all adults and  he's just a kid.

So I opened a can of wupass on the bullies. Because I hate bullies. And because I think it's great that Alban is a newly-minted Beatles fan.

The middle one is Alban's favorite.

So now he's my "friend." He shares his love of 50s and 60s music (he's just discovered Ricky Nelson and Elvis) and TV (he has an unexpected but passionate attachment to The Bradley Sisters from Petticoat Junction.) I'm sure that, as he roams his high school halls, he doesn't have many classmates who share these enthusiasms.

He also "likes" all my posts and writes things like, "Aw, you're nice." He IM'd me on Christmas Eve.

It's odd and a little embarrassing. But if it makes him feel less lonely, I can see no harm. We'll never meet in real life, not that he's expressed any desire to. I'm sure he'll soon outgrow me.

But as annoying as Facebook can be, this is what it does well. It makes a boy in Michigan feel connected. Adolescence is hard. I hope my little thumbs up's and comments help.

Sometimes I think I need a tune up

There are times when I really miss being in therapy. When I have a thought that I know isn't healthy or productive, but I don't know how to stop it.

Last week, when I was walking toward the ATM, it occurred to me how surprised I was that my friend Nancy really wants to see me. We haven't gotten together since before Christmas, and she misses me. For real?

I think about the role Henry wants me to play in his recovery, how John says it's been "too long" since we got together for drinks, and how determined my niece was to see my at Christmas, and I am surprised.

My aunt sends me a postcard whenever she goes on a road trip. Preferably one with glitter. She wants me to know I'm in her thoughts. Why me?

I know why this is. Within my nuclear family, I was the "difficult" one. The one no one wanted around. My Icky Grandma, matriarch and biggest personality, really didn't like me because I was too loud. I similarly got under my father's skin. While my mother always loved me, neither she nor my younger sister understood me in the least. In fact, they somehow viewed my life choices as a reflection on theirs. My kid sister feels, in fact, that I am so impossible she still wants little to do with me.

When I was molested by a family member, it was made clear to me that I should keep it to myself, not make waves. My physical safety and emotional well being were less important than the image we had of our dysfunctional family as "normal."

Meanwhile, my older sister -- the one who beat me from the time I was little until I moved out, and who actually once went after my mother with a broom handle; the one who broke my parents' hearts by leaving the receipt from her abortionist in her slacks in the laundry basket; who never helped my widowed mother financially, when money was needed so desperately -- was completely accepted. Was, in fact, Icky Grandma's favorite.

Never mind that, once I look beyond my immediate family, I did get love. My favorite grandfather was never shy about telling me (and anyone else who would listen) that I was clever and funny. His wife, the grandmother I remember most fondly, always had a special place for me in her heart, in part, I suspect, because I reminded her so of her husband. My uncle felt a special bond with me. I've never doubted my Cousin Rose's love.

So why is it love surprises me? It's not a realistic view of my life. But it's the one I have. When these thoughts come into my head, I examine them and try to dismiss them. But here I am, 61 years old, and these thoughts are still the ones who dominate.

Why do I cling to the negative to the detriment of the positive? Why do I let the critical voices (even from beyond the grave) drown out the love? How come "then" has an oversized impact on "now?"

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: My Favorite Things (2018)
 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.


1) This week's artist, Jennie Abrahamson, is very happy living in Stockholm, but she refers to Paris as "a flirt." She enjoys her time there so much she always wants to return. Is there a place you've visited that tugs at your heart and imagination, tempting you to return? Instead of being adventuresome and contemplating new destinations, I find myself daydreaming about returning to previous vacation spots: Colonial Williamsburg, Hot Springs, Boston ...

2) Jennie has said her music has been heavily influenced by 80s pop, which was popular in her early teen years. Are your favorite songs the ones you listened to when you were growing up? I guess it depends on how long you think it took me to grow up, because my favorite songs are from the 60s, 70s and 80s.

3) "My Favorite Things" is from The Sound of Music. Crazy Sam's high school claim to fame was playing Sister Margaretta in the senior class production. Though not a big part, her performance lives on because relatives love embarrassing her with pictures of her in an especially unflattering nun's habit. Who took an embarrassing photo of you? What were you doing? When I was a little girl, my uncle had a talent for catching me with my eyes closed or mouth open. He kept them to himself and didn't put them in albums or distribute them among the family. Toward the end of his life, he sent me an envelope of these embarrassing pix with playful notations on the back. I thought it was very funny, and so very him. Sensitive to the feelings of the younger Gal, but irreverent to the end.

4) The lyrics celebrate "brown paper packages tied up in

strings." What was in the last box you received in the mail? A full-sized umbrella. The box was more than 4' tall. I try to reuse packaging, but since I'm not sending anyone curtain rods any time soon, I had to regretfully toss this box away.

5) It mentions doorbells and sleighbells. What's the most recent bell or alarm that you heard? The elevator. DING!

 
6) This song has nice things to say about cold weather, specifically snowflakes and mittens. What do you like about winter? People are nicer when it's cold. The hotter the weather, the shorter the tempers.

7) Dog bites and bee stings are singled out as things that

can leave us feeling sad. What's most recently given you the blues? I'm feeling a little dauncy right now. According to that bard and philosopher, Lucy Riccardo, "dauncy" is the feeling you get when you aren't really sick but somehow still feel lousy. I'm dauncy because my whole life seems to be in a holding pattern right now. Henry is no longer in danger but he's not yet well. I don't know if I'm moving this year or not. I have a job, but not a career, and I'm just hanging on until I can retire ... Blah, blah, blah. Dauncy.

8) In 2018, when this song was released, Roger Federer won the Australian Open. Are you good with a racket? Ha! No!

9) Random question -- Your local zoo announced the hatching of three snowy owlets. All males. You won the honor of naming them. Go ahead. The biggest one would be Hoss, the wisest baby owl would be Adam and the cutest would be Joe.