WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

 1. What are you currently reading? The Father Hunt by Rex Stout. It's good to revisit the Manhattan brownstone of world-famous detective Nero Wolfe. This time his assistant Archie brings him a case. A woman Archie met socially takes a shine to him -- women are always taking a shine to Archie -- and asks him for help with a personal matter. She wants to learn the identity of her biological father. With her mother dead, she thinks it's an impossible ask. Archie and Wolfe expect this simple case of paternity to take about a week. It becomes more complicated than they anticipated, with twists and turns along the way and even an unsolved murder. Every time I think I know who the father is, and whether he is somehow involved with the murder, I'm wrong. I do love being fooled, and this one has me going.

 

This is #43 of the 45 books Stout wrote. While the earliest stories take place in the late 1930s, this one is set in 1967. Wolfe's brownstone has air conditioning and a color TV and his client wears a miniskirt. (Wolfe only approves of air conditioning.) While it's modern compared to the rest of the series, it still seems primitive at times. There's no such thing as a DNA test to prove paternity, and no one considers blood tests reliable. I wonder if mysteries are easier, or harder, to write now, with today's advancements in STEM.

 
2. What did you recently finish reading? My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella. A completely charming book. Motherless Katie grew up on an English dairy farm, just her and her dad. When she hit her 20s she reinvents herself as "Cat" and moves to London. She gets a bottom-rung job at a marketing agency and wants to make a success of herself. She creates perfect Instagram posts of her not-so-perfect life, and assumes that if she works hard enough, some day her real self with match her cyber self.

 

Cat has a love-hate relationship with her boss, a beautiful and brilliant woman in her early 40s who has countless awards but few people skills. In this way, the book is kind of like The Devil Wears Prada, only here I like our protagonist. (I wasn't at all fond of Andrea on the pages Prada; I liked her better in the movie.)

Katie-Cat is a three-dimensional character and she keeps the story grounded. That's important to note because while Kinsella is a very funny writer, sometimes she veers off into silly. Some of her later Shopaholic books and a standalone I read, The Undomestic Goddess, descended into slapstick unreality. I'm happy to report that this is NOT the case with this book. 

In short, this is the best chick-lit I've read in a while and I recommend it.

3. What will read next? Eighteen Acres by Nicolle Wallace. Now that she's on MSNBC (at least) two hours every day in the run-up to Election Day, I forgot that between being a GOP political operative and a TV analyst, Nicolle Wallace tried her hand at writing. This is her novel about the first woman President and I'm looking forward to it. After all, Wallace worked for Bush 43 and has inside knowledge. For example, the 18 acres of the title refer to the space taken up by the White House grounds.

I guess that's over

It's been two weeks since I've received an x-rated comment.

They used to arrive regularly, often daily, on posts that were always more than a year old. They seemed to be promoting an adult "dating site," except the author was always UNKNOWN with a protected profile. I added that extra "prove you aren't a bot" verification step, but that didn't really have any impact on the comments.

Then they just stopped.

I don't for a moment think it was personal, or anyone trying to harass me (although I did feel harassed). It was most certainly a bot, and a broken one at that, considering that it didn't link back to anything. I wonder if its disappearance isn't a "New Blogger" thing. Maybe there's some innovation or upgrade that now protects us from anonymous dirty comments.

PS By the way, if you're looking for a graphic like the one I used above, do yourself a favor and be absolutely certain you click Safe Search first. I mean, that was creepy there for a moment.

Today was Labor Day

So I labored. Four hours Saturday. Three hours Sunday. Five hours today. It was the beginning of my work on the latest Big Project. I had to come up with four different ways to sell the same service -- to 25 to 35-year-olds, 36 to 50-year-olds, 51 to 60 year-olds, and those 60+. That was only Phase One.

Phase Two is an 8-page brochure about the service. I don't have the input I need to start on this yet. It's due 9/11. I don't see how that will happen. The stress is making me très nerveux.

I used to get off on the deadlines. But after 40 years of doing this, I'm just upset and resentful.

Oh, well. The good thing about working from home is that I was able to pound away on my laptop while the Cub games were on. They're still in first place, having squeaked out two wins against the Cardinals in this five-game series.

Sunday Stealing

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

1. A person I like and why I like them. My oldest friend, because she makes me laugh.

 

2. A famous person I’ve been compared to. Julie from The Love Boat. Back when the show was on, I heard this a lot. (Of course, the show was on more than 40 years ago. I no longer look like this. Neither does she.)

3. Best thing that happened to me this week. I read a completely charming book: My Not So Perfect Life. It was "just" chick lit, but it was funny, well crafted, and I liked the protagonists. With the news pretty unremittingly bad these days, I enjoyed the time I spent with this book.

 
4. Weird things I do when I’m alone. I get up and stand in front of the TV when I'm  really into what I'm watching. Example: Friday night, TCM showed Elvis: That's the Way It Is. I moved closer to the set to dance along with "Suspicious Minds."  I sometimes touch the screen when my favorite Cub, Anthony Rizzo, is at bat. I'm sure I look quite ridiculous.

5. How I’d spend $10,000. Let's just assume this is after-tax money. The first $1,000 is split among my favorite charities. The second $1,000 goes into my checking account for happy "whatevers." The remaining eight goes into my home. (Extra mortgage payments? Much needed repairs? I don't know.)

6. My last night out in detail. Wow. It's been a while. Last month, I had dinner with my friend Nancy and her husband. We went to her favorite little "greasy spoon" restaurant. I had a grilled cheese/bacon sandwich, Nancy and her hubs had the chicken. We ate outside at a wrought iron table under an umbrella. I drank root beer, they had shakes.

7. Something that makes me sad when I think about it. That because of the virus I don't actually see people as much as I'd like to.

8. Something I’m currently worrying about. The current big project on my plate. Everything in the world is due on September 17. It makes my throat close up a bit, just thinking about.

9. Something I do without realizing. See #4.

 
10. A drunken story. I wasn't drunk, exactly. I was coming out of anesthetic after my colonoscopy. I was convinced I'd lost my keys. I reported them as lost to the hospital on the way out. When I got home, I got the extra keys I keep in the lock box I keep on the fence in the parking lot. I called a locksmith ... then I reached into my pocket. Guess what.

11. Something I regret. Reading the book Road to Jonestown last month. It's well told and well researched. But I never should have picked it up. The Peoples Temple mass suicide is not the saga I needed when I'm battling the blues during a pandemic.

This is me

12. 5 things within touching distance. My day planner (yes, I'm old school); my checkbook; one of my new Bic pens; a tissue (allergies are bad this morning); the letter from my cousin that I'm going to answer.

13. Something I’ve lied about. It's a lie of omission. When I talk to my oldest friend, I don't admit I looked at her novella on the website Wattpad. I couldn't read it objectively -- so many of the characters are thinly veiled versions of people I know (including me) -- so I don't want to discuss it.

14. Lyrics that apply to my current mood. Running on empty, running blind/I'm running into the sun, but I'm running behind.

15. My longest relationship

 

 

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Work Hard, Play Harder (2009)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) We're celebrating the last holiday of summer by going country. Who is your favorite country music artist? Garth Brooks

2) Gretchen Wilson sings that on Tuesdays, she gets up before dawn. This morning, did you awaken on your own, or did you need an alarm clock? Since I am answering these on Friday, I have go with alarm clock. The handyman was here at 9:00 AM, and I had to be ready.

Not a good look

3) She tells us that she doesn't waste her time on manicures or spay tans. How about you? Have you recently spent any money at the salon? Since the salon reopened in June, I have returned faithfully every 4-5 weeks. I'm afraid the guv is going to shut it all down again, and I can't bear that mullet again. I looked like The Tiger King.

4) She sings that she's the first to clock in at work. Have you ever worked a job that required you to punch a time clock? I have to fill out a time sheet. My agency bills the client based on how much time I spend on a project.

5) Gretchen Wilson says she is a big fan of McDonald's and tries to eat there once a day when she's on tour. In terms of sales, America's 3 most popular fast-food lunch destinations are McDonald's, Starbucks and Subway. If you could choose a gift card to one of those three, which would you select? Subway, I suppose. I like McDonald's, but Subway is more convenient, now that I'm working from home.

6) Gretchen has endorsed Redneck Riviera Whiskey. What's your favorite adult beverage? Lately I've been ordering margaritas, so I guess it's tequila.

Since this Monday is Labor Day, the holiday established to celebrate the American worker … 


7) Approx. 10% of Americans are self employed. Have you ever been your own boss? Yes. For 13 months I was between jobs and freelanced to keep the lights on. I enjoyed the freedom but hated the recordkeeping. Quarterly taxes! Ugh!

8) According to Monster.com, 50% of workers have left a job to get away from a boss. Are you one of the 50%? Yes, but I'm not elaborating because I don't want to give her another moment's thought.

9) Farmers feel the impact of extreme weather events. Have you ever had a job that required you to be outdoors most of the time? No.

Well, I WAS happy there for a while

 Thursday night, I had a nice conversation with Henry. It was 90 minutes long, which didn't give us enough time to venture into Crazy Town. Much of the call -- most, in fact -- was about me and about how very anxious I've been lately. He was compassionate, supportive and completely non-judgemental. 

I know that's the the way friends are supposed to act, but there's the thing: since Henry's accident and TBI, he's been staggeringly self-absorbed at times. That he was able to put me first and be helpful not only made me feel loved, it made me happy because it meant he's still my dear old Henry.

Then the conversation changed. We started talking about Trump. Henry ALWAYS wants to talk about Trump. Always has! (I remember saying to Henry over Christmas 2015, "Stop it! He'll never be President!") Henry started voicing some conspiracy theory about the electoral college.

"Why are we even talking about this?" I asked. "We can't change the Constitution in 60 days. What are we doing to do to help Joe over the next 60 days?"

Henry kept going back to the electoral college and bribery. I couldn't steer him away from it. Now while I admit that Donald Trump has proven to us -- day in and day out -- that's he's indecent, I won't discuss conspiracy theories. Not QAnon shit, not the Clintons killed Jeffrey Epstein, not Princess Diana's "assassination." None of it. It's all nonsense and it insults my intelligence.

I finally told Henry that, unless he can tell me which state Trump bought and how he bought it, he was just as bad as the WWG1WGA nut jobs. I backed up my argument by saying that -- except for a handful of swing states -- the electoral map has been pretty much the same since Bill Clinton beat George H. W. Bush. And besides, how does any of this help Joe Biden? Let's talk about Joe. Let's be positive.

Henry said he would research his electoral college conspiracy theory and email me links to back it up. Confident that he never will -- because he'll either forget or because, since it's a shit theory, he can't find anything -- I promised him I'll examine whatever he sends me. Then I told him I had to go.

I thanked him so much for being my friend and listening. I told him I loved him. He said he loved me. I told him that, Thursday night, he made a difference in how I felt about the world. He said I was his "one true sister" and I could always count on him. 

I thought we were fine.

Today, Reg called. He wanted to know what Henry and I talked about that had him so upset this morning. Reg told me Henry wouldn't articulate it, just that our conversation left him feeling "bad."

WHAT? I was gobsmacked. Two-thirds of our 90 minute conversation was loving and positive. And the last half hour was just silly. I didn't think it was angry or argumentative. I just kept trying to change the subject and then I dropped it. Besides, the conversation was negative and ridiculous.

I apologized for upsetting Henry. In fact, I thought our conversation would have the opposite effect. Henry is forever complaining that everyone treats him like a child, I said. And Thursday night, I turned to him as an equal and he responded. I thought that was wonderful.

Reg reassured me that it is wonderful, and that the problem isn't me, it's his TBI. Henry has trouble processing information and moods and it causes him to lose perspective, to cling to the bad and dismiss the good. He reminded me of something I've said ever since Henry's accident back in October 2018 -- "Henry is still in there somewhere." The old Henry came out on Thursday night, Reg said. It was the TBI Henry who woke up Friday, feeling agitated.

So here is my dilemma -- Henry hates to be patronized. He complains about everyone treating him like a child. But maybe that's what I need to do. Maybe instead of saying, "I don't believe in conspiracy theories," I should have jumped ahead to, "Send me your research and I'll read it." Perhaps that way I could have gotten him to abandon the Trump toxicity without him feeling so bad.

I'm learning. In my way, I'm getting better, too.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

 1. What are you currently reading? My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella. I'm really loving this one. We meet Cat at the beginning of her career in marketing/advertising in the heart of London. Her point of view and observations are so charmingly spot on that I feel I not only know her, I feel I was her.


So far, the story is shaping up to be a second cousin to The Devil Wears Prada: You know, a young woman discovers the darker side of a glamorous industry when she finds herself at the mercy of a rather monstrous older woman. But the characters here are less arch and more likeable.


I like Kinsella, too. I know from her Shopaholic series that she's a funny writer and am happy to report that here, she's not overly jokey. The humor flows naturally.

2. What did you recently finish reading? The Road to Jonestown by Jeff Guinn. Was he born evil, or did he become evil? That's what was on my mind as I traveled from Indiana to California to Guyana and certain death with Jim Jones.

After this telling of the Peoples Temple horror story, I've concluded that Jones wasn't evil after all, just crazy. Instead of getting the help he needed, he took drugs and more drugs. Pharmaceuticals fed his delusions of grandeur, paranoia and obsession with control.

This is a hard book. There's exploitation, cruelty and the inexorable march to mass suicide in the jungle. But there's also the congregants of The Peoples Temple -- so many of them good people who believed in racial equality and social justice. They gave over everything to "Father" (aka Jim Jones) because they believed in helping the poor and empowering the disenfranchised. My heart breaks for them. They thought they were serving a higher, completely laudable purpose, when in reality they were victims of a mad man.

Well told and engrossing, I recommend this book if you're interested in the tragedy that took more than 900 lives in a matter of hours.

3. What will read next? I think it will be time again for a mystery.

 

So far, so good

I just did the dishes and this tape seems to have solved my plumbing problem, at least for now. I am so freaking relieved.

One less thing to distract me! And make no mistake about it, I am most distracted. For example, today I paid the same Citicard bill twice. Work ... the pandemic ... economic uncertainty ... racial unrest ... Trump ... I admit it: it's all getting to me. I appreciate that we are living in historic times, but I wish we were looking back on them.

Not much named for Nixon

I have been thinking about Gerald Ford, because next month I'm flying into Gerald R. Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids. In retrospect, I appreciate Gerald Ford way more than I did in real time. I was furious about The Pardon in 1974, but I know now he was right. No American President should end up behind bars -- no matter how much I would personally enjoy seeing this one in a jumpsuit that matches his spray tan -- because that's not who we are as a country. After an ugly chapter, we should move on and and seek healing, not retribution.

Anyway, as my mind ping ponged from Ford to Nixon, I wondered if there was a Nixon Airport. There is not. There is a Nixon Freeway in California, and two elementary schools (one in Iowa, one in New Jersey). It's pretty amazing, when you look at the enormity of his electoral victory in 1972. You would think that after such a landslide, you could take a Nixon highway to a Nixon Airport to a town called Nixon where there would be a Nixon University. Yet clearly, he appealed to a massive segment of our population, and then those very people seemed to want to forget him.

Stolen from Wikipedia

After Donald Trump leaves the White House, I wonder how his current supporters will treat him. After all, Trump didn't come near Nixon's vote totals in 2016. He didn't even win the popular vote. Will MAGA hats still be worn proudly? Or will parents and grandparents be like my own mother, who explained voting for Nixon in 1972 this way: "I went to vote for Ogilvie and Percy,* and Nixon was so far ahead in the polls, I just voted straight party Republican." She always sounded apologetic and embarrassed.

*IL's incumbents were Gov. Richard Ogilvie and Sen. Charles Percy.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 31

Today's happiness -- Reconnecting. I talked to my oldest friend for about an hour tonight. YEA!

She's the one I wanted to talk to about the plumbing, Because she would understand what a terrible housekeeper I am (she's just as bad) and how helpless I feel. And because she's known me so long and so well.

I do feel better. I won't totally relax until about 1:00 tomorrow when I see how the combination Flex Seal/Wrap Fix Self Fusing Tape combo holds. But she was very supportive and said all the right things and made me laugh.

I have missed her.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

It happened

You know The Bad Thing I've been dreading? I think I know what it is. The pipe under my kitchen sink is leaking like the Mississippi River. It probably has been for a while, judging from the musty smell down there.

Of course I found it on a Sunday night when everything is closed. I keep nothing under the sink but plastic bags, and it had occurred to me that, with stores preferring we not shop with our own canvas bags due to germs and Covid19, I have more than bags in here than I can use in a lifetime. The little task I gave myself to do was get rid of some of those plastic bags. That's when I discovered the smell and the icky brown water. Oh, well. At least I got rid a lot of the bags. (Like a black Hefty garbage full.)

I suppose it doesn't matter that I can't reach a plumber right now because I couldn't have one here tomorrow anyway. I have to work from here. I may have Zoom meetings or conference calls, and this place just isn't big enough for me to do that without disturbance.

Naturally I freaked out. Freaking out is what I do. Then I went online and did some research. Consumers agree that Flex Seal won't repair it forever, but will hold it for awhile. Awhile is all I need. I ordered the spray and the tape from WalMart* and, hopefully, can go over and pick it up tomorrow -- either at lunchtime or after work. I'll have to go 24 hours without my kitchen sink, but I can make do with buckets of water, like I did in Girl Scouts.

For tonight, I wrapped an old dishtowel around the leak and tied it with a string. That should slow it down. There's a bucket there to catch the rest. A bowl of vinegar should help with the musty smell. After Labor Day, I have to get a plumber in here to replace that pipe.

There's something Snarky Pants calls "pre-knowing." When your thoughts show you something that you're sure will happen. I think this is at least part of what I've been wrestling with these past few weeks.

My shrink tells me to remind myself that I'm home and I'm safe. If this is the worst that happens to me for a while, I'll be OK. I'm unhappy, I'm a little scared, but I'm OK. Worse things than this happen to people every day.

*Neither of the local, independent hardware stores have it in stock! Which is too bad, because I'd prefer to shop in a small store.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 30

Today's happiness -- Cubs win! And against the Reds, thank you very much!

During spring training, way back before the corona virus, everyone was predicting that the Reds were the team in the Central to be reckoned with. The Cubs were too old, too slow, and the pitching was too unreliable to be taken seriously.

That was then, this is now. My guys just split a four game series with the Reds in a record breaking way. All three outfielders (Schwarber, Happ and Heyward) hit two home runs each! Final score: 10-1. 

NL Central standings: Cubs in first place by 3.5 games.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

Sunday Stealing

Live Journal 5000

1. Who is the hottest celebrity you can think of? It changes. Right now, Rob Lowe. I rewatched The West Wing on Netflix and seeing Sam Seaborn again almost took my breath away. Which is weird because when the show was on in real time, it was Josh (Bradley Whitford) that I crushed on. BTW, in five years, when I look back on this post, I will be startled to read this response because I will be in love with some other celebrity.

2. Do you ever get so nervous that you can't even think? Yes. Now. I have such an overwhelming feeling of dread these days and I can't shake it.


3. Do you sing when there is no music? Yes, but only to myself.

4.Who was the best political leader in history and why? I can only speak to American history. I mean, I'm not prepared to compare/contrast FDR and Winston Churchill, and I know nothing about who was in the Consuls of the Roman Republic. But I am enthralled and inspired by Abraham Lincoln: his wisdom, his compassion, his curiosity, his love of country and respect for mankind. He was also a very savvy politician.


5 If you could dance with anyone in the world right now, who would it be and what song would you dance to? It would be my grandpa. I would let him choose the song. He died when I was in high school, and I just learned recently that in the early 1930s, he worked a second job. On weekends he played bass for a dance band! I had no idea! He was a short man, and he told my aunt he heard people snicker when he dragged his instrument onto the bus because it was bigger than he was. He said he was proud to do it because he was supporting his family. If I could twirl the dance floor with him, I'd ask him to tell me more about that chapter of his life.


6 Finish this sentence your own way. There are two types of people in the world... Those who use the Oxford comma, and those who are wrong.
 

7 What have you saved since elementary school? I have some class photos around here somewhere.
 

8 Have you ever won an award? Yes


9. Do you feel more connected to the sun or the moon? Neither. I look at the sky a lot, but it's the color of the sky that intrigues me, not the moon, sun or stars.
 

10 Do flaws make people interesting to you? Oh, yes.
 

11 Who is your favorite historical figure? JBKO. She is best remembered today for her clothes, which is unfortunate because she was one of our hardest working and most influential First Ladies. In less than three years she:


•  Restored the White House and took us on a televised tour, winning an Emmy
•  Financed the restoration with funds raised by the first-ever White House Guide Book (she  chose all the photos, foreshadowing her future career in publishing)
•  Personally convinced the French Minister of Cultural Affairs to allow the Mona Lisa to travel to the United States (the first time the painting had left French soil since WWI)
•  Represented the United States flawlessly on solo trips to Greece, Pakistan and India
•  Oversaw the design of the White House Rose Garden
•  Responsible for Air Force One's iconic design

She did all this while enduring a difficult White House pregnancy that culminated with the death of her baby in 1963. We all know the circumstances that caused her to leave the White House for good four months later.

There's courage and accomplishment that I can appreciate but not relate to, like war heroism. But I understand how hard all the above must have been for her, especially while dealing with relentless international press scrutiny. Really, no one but Princess Diana could understand what it was like to be Jackie. She endured much and accomplished more and did it all with dignity.

The First Lady welcomes Andre Malraux and the Mona Lisa to the White House

12. White bread or wheat bread? Depends on what we're having


13. Do you usually do things fast or right? Fast
 

14. Are you or have you ever been in a band? No

15. Here are 4 statements about me. Only one of them is true. Which one is it?* 
a) I just got a third cat and I'm so excited
b) I have a four octave soprano voice
c) I am very particular about my manicure
d) I've recently switched my soda allegiance from Coke to Dr. Pepper
 
16. Would you wear a thong bathing suit in public? No. And you don't want me to.

17. Have you thought about death today? Yes, in answering about Jackie.

18. What is your favorite breakfast? Lately I've been gravitating toward gooey cheese omelettes.

19. Are you the life of the party? No.

20. If you hit an animal with your car would you get out to try and make sure it was okay? Of course!

21. When do you get your most peaceful and satisfying sleep? I don't even remember. Sleep is a big issue for me.

22. What thought gets you out of bed in the morning? That next paycheck.

23. What are you a member of? The Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum, the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, my movie group, my church, the Democratic Party, Planned Parenthood and The World Wildlife Fund. (The last is in my mom's name. I started getting her mail after she died and learned she was a dues paying member. I maintain it because she'd want me to.)

24. Name one place you refuse to ever go. Anything with TRUMP emblazoned upon it

25. When (and if) people (or animals) go to heaven, do they become angels? Kinda sorta. I believe I will be reunited with my beloved pets when I get to Heaven. Yes, I know that's not in the Bible. No, I don't care. Leave me alone with what comforts me.

*Only d) is true

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 29

Today's happiness -- Annie Hayworth. I think she's the most interesting, and the most sympathetic, character in Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Today, she got her due. 

Will got me in to a virtual movie festival devoted to horror and I "attended" a lecture/Q&A about The Birds. Now I'm not a big horror fan, but I do love Hitch and it was great fun to discuss this movie with a new and different crowd of movie nerds. We all seemed to be Team Annie. Yea!

Also, it was free!

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

I am safe.

I am safe. That was the mantra I landed on with my shrink this afternoon.

Lately I've been filled with dread. Having nightmares and waking up terrified of ... I'm not sure. I'm scared. I fear that something big and very bad is about to happen.  I can't shake it.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm in therapy.

She told me to try to stay in the moment. Don't worry about the pandemic, civil unrest, hurricane season or the ramifications of a Trump reelection. Just concentrate on now. And right now, I am safe and healthy in my own home.

I am safe.

She told me I'm not alone in this, that many patients have mentioned similar feelings to her. Country Dew was kind enough to tell me the same thing.

So tonight, before I go to bed, I'm going to take some nice Valerian root and curl up with a big picture book about Princess Diana. I love Princess Diana. Maybe I'll dig up a Jackie photo book and make it a double feature of beauty and grace and nostalgia. That will help me feel safe.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Buttered Popcorn (1961)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This Saturday, the treat's on Sam. Will you have buttered popcorn, caramel corn or cheese popcorn? I think I'm in the mood for caramel corn.

2) This record represents the Supremes as they are seldom heard. Florence Ballard is singing lead, with background vocals provided by Mary Wilson, Barbara Martin and Diane Ross. That's right, "Diane." Her parents meant for her to be named "Diane," and that's what old friends and family still call her, but the hospital mistakenly put her name down as "Diana." Motown execs thought "Diana Ross" had a better sound and the rest, as they say, is history. Do you often make typos? Or are you careful and precise at the keyboard? If I'm in a hurry, I make a million typos. If you're a regular reader, you've probably noticed this. I'm lucky in that everything I do for my job is checked over by a professional proofreader.

3) Barbara Martin left the Supremes in 1962, before they reached stardom, because she was a new mom and wanted to stay home with her baby. Have you ever found yourself in the difficult position of having to choose between your personal and professional lives? I was working way out in a business park near O'Hare Airport. I was working really hard and learning a lot. I loved being the agency "go-to girl" (a designation I have since grown tired of). The commute was a nightmare. So I ended up spending more and more time at the office and less and less time in the city with my then boyfriend. 

He didn't like to plan. I simply couldn't be spontaneous, and he bristled at my suggestion that we set Tuesday nights aside for one another, no matter what. (I don't recall why Tuesday; knowing me, it probably had to do with nothing being on TV that night.) Anyway, we broke up when he found a younger, very blonde woman who could better cater to his spur-of-the-moment whims.

I cried a lot at the time because it hurt my vanity and because, well, let's say in one crucial way we were extremely compatible. But we clearly didn't appreciate one another and, in retrospect, I'm not even sure we liked each each other very much. So the breakup was fine.

4) Florence Ballard's cousin, Hank, wrote the famous Chubby Checkers dance record, "The Twist." When did you last get on your feet and dance? I don't recall. I hate it when people use the pandemic as an excuse for not answering questions, but in this case I must plead the (Covid) 19th. Following the rules doesn't give me many opportunities to cut a rug.

5) Mary Wilson stayed with the group until it disbanded in 1977. She has said that one of her most memorable moments came in 1968, when the group performed for Princess Margaret. Mary recalled that the Princess loudly asked if Mary's hair was real or a wig. Mary was shocked, expecting better behavior from a royal. Tell us a time when someone's behavior shocked you. Have you ever heard of Pam Bondi? She's a Florida lawyer and politician who spoke at the RNC, railing against the lawlessness and nepotism exhibited by Joe Biden and his son, Hunter. She gave this speech on the very day the New York AG sought to depose President Trump's son, Eric, regarding financial fraud within The Trump Organization. The very day! What chutzpah! As an adult with a functioning brain, I was insulted. I didn't watch another moment of the convention.

6) In 1961, when this song was released, the TV show Hazel premiered and was a top 5 hit for NBC. Oscar winner Shirley Booth played the title character, a very capable and lovable maid. If Crazy Sam could have a maid for just a few hours today, she'd love to have her refrigerator cleaned and kitchen cabinets organized. If you could have a pair of helping hands around your house this afternoon, what would you ask the maid to do? First we'd clean up in my bedroom. Those makeup and cologne bottles on the dresser are dust magnets. Then we'd move to the kitchen. My cabinets are neat and organized because I leave everything on the counter. Please, Hazel, help me! I need to buckle down, stay on task, and throw stuff away.
 

7) Also in 1961, President John F. Kennedy appeared on the cover of Time as their Man of the Year. Are there any magazines in your home right now? If so, who is on the cover? I've been looking at this issue of AARP magazine for weeks now. I'm going to get to it, honest I am. Now that I'm working from home, it's like Alan Alda is my officemate.

8) Ernest Hemingway died in 1961. Have you read any of his works? I had to read A Farewell to Arms in high school. I loved the style and hated the substance. Unfortunately I discovered Ernie and feminism at the same time, and that's not the most flattering prism to view his work through. I suppose I should give him another try, now that I've matured a lot and mellowed a bit.

9) Random question: How many pancakes are in the perfect stack? I prefer a short stack of three. Butter and syrup mandatory (powdered sugar optional). Unless we're talking silver dollar pancakes. Then it's six. 

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 28

Today's happiness -- Afternoon nap. Or rather, the freedom to take an afternoon nap.

We had our BIG presentation between 10:30 and 11:30. We have summer hours, so work ends at 1:00 on Fridays. I was able to celebrate the presentation and the end of summer by taking myself out for a big lunch and then coming home and taking a luxurious nap.

I loved these free Friday afternoons.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 27

Today's happiness -- Peyton Place. This nighttime soap ran for five years (1964-1969). My parents watched it during the early years, but made me leave the room. By forbidding it, my parents cemented my fascination and curiosity. In 2013 I got the series on DVD and binged on all but the last season.

Today it came up, out of the blue, when I was Zooming with Will. He asked me to help him see how Zoom works with his new computer and camera. Somehow he ended up quizzing me -- going through a list of actors and actresses who appeared on Peyton Place and asking me who they played. My encyclopedic knowledge of this crap delighted him. This time with Will was the lightest, silliest hour of my day.

THIS JUST IN: Will found out Friday morning that his aunt -- his late mom's baby sister -- died last night. For reasons of both finance and Covid, he doesn't think he can attend the service in Long Island. I'm glad that we could spend some time Thursday being goofy.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.

I've got a feeling

This is what I'm channeling

Remember that great scene toward the end of Gone with the Wind? Scarlett goes running through the streets of pre-dawn Atlanta, trying to get to her home and to Rhett, and she finds herself enveloped in fog. It's like she actually living in her recurring nightmare.

That's me these days. I feel oppressed by a feeling of foreboding. I don't know for sure what I'm dreading, but I'm sure something bad is going to happen.

Maybe it's work. I don't know. Things have been challenging and frustrating, but then, I work in advertising. It's supposed to be challenging and frustrating. My most recent efforts have been part of a large-scale effort, and as crappy as it's been, I have seen first hand that the other creative team isn't being treated any better.

Maybe it's financial. My place is a mess. Being home everlastingly these days, I'm more aware than ever before that it needs work. New windows, new flooring. The kitchen could stand a refresh. But I don't have the money. I imagine it would cost $10,000 to get it the way I want it, and I don't have that cash in a box under my bed. Also, where would my cats and I go when the work was being done. There's a pandemic! (I am, however, having some work done next week. Maybe I'd feel better if I concentrate on what I am doing and not on what still needs to be done.)

Maybe it's being on the condo board. No maybe about this one. I discovered during the last week that everyone who lives in this building seems to hate me and Brian, the other boardmember. It makes me want to stand in the hall and shout, "Fuck you all."

Maybe it's personal. It's been 10 more days since I've heard from my oldest friend. I miss her. But I guess she's simply not able to be my friend these days. I miss getting together with all my friends these days. Pandemic is getting to me.

Maybe it's the world. A 17-year-old boy took an AR-15 style rifle and killed two people during civil unrest in Kenosha. Think about that: If you're white, you can be underage and walk around with an automatic weapon and no one bothers you. If you're black, a cop will kneel on your neck if you're suspected of passing a fake $20 bill. It doesn't help that this is going on at the same time as the RNC. What a tone-deaf, screeching crew of Marie Antoinettes that's been!

Maybe it's baseball. The Cubs are still in first place, they've been struggling.

But anyway, I'm worried about something very bad, but I don't know what. I hope I'm just worrying about nothing again. Like I do.

August Happiness Challenge -- Day 26

Today's happiness -- Powerpoint karaoke. Played this online game during a team meeting and it was a lot of fun. Good team building, too. A coworker who previously bugged the living crap out of me now no longer makes my teeth hurt. I may not like him, but I appreciate how game he was.

Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world.