Zoom Zoom Zoom-a Zoom

Not really us, but it could be

We had a 4-hour Zoom meeting with my clients. A virtual workshop. At the beginning and end of the meeting, when we met as a group, there were 28 of us. For the gist of the meeting, we were in smaller groups of 7. So far, because of Covid19, I've worshipped via video conference, consulted my GP via video conference, critiqued movies via video conference, met with my therapist via video conference, and now brainstormed with clients via video conference. It's not optimal, but it's safe and worked better than I thought it would.

I argued to be included in this client meeting. Originally it was just supposed to be strategy and account, but thanks to my whining and the new Mr. Big's considerable muscle, representatives from the creative team were included, too. Then I started to worry. Would I do a good job? Do I have enough to contribute? Would my cat Reynaldo moon the participants?

I think I did a good job. I know I contributed. Reynaldo came up on my lap for a head rub or two, but otherwise kept a low profile.

However, the police came. Yes, I had to leave my video conference because there was a cop at my door. It amused my fellow conferees to know that officer wanted me to move my white Mercedes or it would be towed. Because I didn't mute my mic, they heard me tell the cop, "I wish I had a white Mercedes!"

So it was all fine. I'd been worried for nothing. It occurs to me that I worry all the time for nothing.

Tomorrow is my long-awaited mammogram. Let's hope it turns out that in regards to that, I've been worrying for nothing, too.

Get ready to get happy

Every year I take the August Happiness Challenge. Here's a brief explanation of the Challenge: "Each day in August you are to post about something that makes *you* happy. Pretty simple. And, it doesn't even have to be every day if you don't want it to be. It's a great way to remind ourselves that there are positive things going on in our lives, our communities, and the world."

You're invited to join me. Visit me with a link to your daily August happy, and I'll come read it. I've found that experiencing other peoples' everyday pleasures is a great mood lifter.

It helps if your August Happiness Challenge posts are marked with an icon. Just something that means "happy" to you. Here's a pair of my past happys.

THE HAPPY BEGINS AUGUST 1!

A perfect little lunch hour of errands

Today was the first day in several that wasn't beastly hot, so I slipped outside and appreciated it.

First stop, the food pantry. I had quite a bit to donate today because over the past 10 days or so, I haven't felt like hiking over there in the heat, rain and humidity. Today was a good day for a good deed. Both the kid volunteering at the pantry and I were wearing Cub masks, a coincidence we acknowledged and enjoyed.

Naturally I took this to mean that Cub fans are simply good people. I feel sorry for anti-maskers because not only are they unwilling to do the smallest thing to show their neighbors they care, they are missing an opportunity for self expression. Represent what you love on your mask!

Next stop, the post office. The street in front of the big, venerable old building is torn up and it was hard to navigate the saw horses and safety cones. Especially in my most beat up/worn out old sandals. Plus, I haven't been to the chiropractor since mid-March and, just as he warned me, my balance isn't all it could be. So you guessed it: I slipped on my way up cement stairs.

Someone instantly appeared at my side, helping me up by the elbow. I wasn't hurt -- just embarrassed -- and didn't need his assistance but I recognized him. He's the homeless guy who usually sits on the curb (only the curb isn't there right now). I thanked him, blamed my tumble on my sandals (which was kinda true), and started for the door, which he held open for me.

"You've done right by me, ma'am, so I am happy to help you."

I was touched by his chivalry, his concern and his apparent pride in being able to turn tables and this time, do something for me. It was a lovely moment.

Disinfectant wipes are in ready supply at the drugstore! Beyond that, there was nothing to report from my last stop. Then back to work!

SUNDAY STEALING

She's practically perfect in every way

QUESTIONS FROM FACEBOOK

1. What's your favorite movie from your childhood and why? Mary Poppins. First of all, because it's a wonderful movie. Second, because it's the first movie I ever saw in the theater, on the big screen. Like just about everyone else who's able to fog up a mirror, I got Disney+ this month so I could binge on Hamilton. Must remember to spend some time with my girl, Mary, too, before the month is over and I cancel my subscription.

2. What is home to you? The humble abode where I'm sitting right now.

3. Do you get emotionally invested in stories? (I'm asking about movies, books, tv shows, whatever medium you like your stories in.) Yes.

4. What is the most physical damage you've ever received without needing medical intervention (so no stitches or splints or anything)? Well, the worst pain I've ever been in was courtesy of a kidney stone. I'd rather have surgery again that suffer a repeat of that. I was given meds for it but there was no stitches or splints or anything.

5. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Ya got me there.

6. Do you have any obsessions? Like Tv shows, or cats or something. Not addictions.

I love them.

7. What question or question would you like God to answer? I really don't have anything. I believe that when I die and get to Heaven, I'll enjoy eternal life and eternal peace, which means I'll understand the answers to all my questions.

8. Do you bite your nails? Of course! If I tried to bite someone else's, I'd get in big trouble.


9. What do you like about the place you live? (I mean your housing, apt, house, mobile home, etc.) All my stuff is here.

10. What do you like about the city or town where you live? It's diverse. We aren't perfect, but we are trying to be better at understanding one another and making everyone feel welcome.

11. Is there one place you have visited that you wish you could live there? I could see myself living in Brookline, MA. When I vacationed in Boston, I took a little sidetrip there to see JFK's birthplace and just really enjoyed the town.

12. What's your favorite cookie to snack on? I like them all!

13. Are you a Apple person or PC type person and why? Yes. I have an Apple computer and an Android smartphone. MacBooks are easy to use, Motorola phones are easy to afford.

14. What's your favorite things about the Zoo? I like the people watching and the junk food. As the animals go, my favorite is the okapi. They're related to the giraffe and, despite the stripes, have no zebra in their bloodline. They're shy with people but social with one another, making this cute little "chuff" noise.

15. Did you grow up in the country, city or small town and what did you like about it (or hate about it if you didn’t like it)? I grew up in the same small town my parents grew up in. I didn't care for all the sameness. All WASP. Catholics were exotic. I never met a Jew until high school and the district included kids from nearby towns. Growing up this way is not healthy. The earlier we meet different kinds of people, the better.

16. What kinds of things were you into and do when you were growing up? I played Barbies and rode my bike.

17 .Do you enjoy receiving letters or postcards more, and why? Yes. Because it means someone I love thinks enough of me to write and send it.

18. Do or did you know any of your great-grandparents? Tell me about them. I knew Bunna, my mom's grandmother. Her given name was Louise, but since my mother was her oldest grandchild and called her "Bunna," the whole family did. She smelled funny and wore massive, floral house dresses and died when I was in junior high. I thought she was really bossy, but my mother loved her to the moon. When my mom was tiny, Bunna always made sure she had fruit cocktail with a cherry with dinner. That meant the world to my mother.


19. Do you like to be outdoors? What is your favorite thing to do there? I like to walk and wander.

20. Have you ever broken a bone or been badly injured? Yes. When I was in pre-school, I fell down the stairs and broke my clavicle. I don't remember the pain at all, but I do recall being in a sling.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Flipper (1964)
 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Flipper ran for three seasons, from 1964 to 1967. Are you familiar with the show? Were you a fan? Yes. Many friends were in love with the blond brother. 1964 is historic as the year I fell in love with Paul McCartney and, though I was only six years old, I was determined to remain true to him. Still I did bow to peer pressure and watch the show. You know, so I could discuss it at recess. Reviewing the clip linked above, I'm now impressed by how hot the dad was. (It's okay; I've learned over the intervening decades that Sir Paul doesn't care one whit who I lust after.)


2) Brothers Sandy and Bud consider a bottle-nosed dolphin, named Flipper, their pet. Do you currently share your home with any animals? 

Connie is looking at the camera, Reynaldo is sound asleep

3) Bud and Sandy's dad was Chief Warden Porter Ricks of the fictional Coral Key Marine Preserve. In reality, the show was filmed in Miami and Key Biscayne. When were you last in the ocean? Which ocean was it? It was Christmastime. I waded into the Atlantic while visiting Henry and Reg in Key West. I've made my hotel reservation to see them for Christmas this year, but I'm worried that I won't be able to make it because of the pandemic. This makes me very, very sad.

4) There was no one single "Flipper." In close-ups, the role was played by a dolphin named Susie. While Susie was good at interacting with people, she had trouble with stunts, and sometimes a male dolphin named Clown was brought in for action sequences. Do you consider yourself more social, like Susie? Or are you more athletic, like Clown? If those are my only two choices, I'll go with Susie.

5) Without looking it up, do you know the difference between a dolphin and a porpoise? Dolphins have noses. Porpoises have more fishy faces without a prominent nose. I'm sure there are other differences, but to list them I'd have to cheat and look it up.

6) Flipper wasn't just a TV pet. He was an industry! During the show's run, Flipper comic books, coloring books and puzzles were very popular. As an adult, do you entertain yourself by reading comics, coloring, or completing jigsaw puzzles? Nope.

7) The Flipper lunchbox was also a big seller. It came with a Thermos topped with a red cup. Do you own a Thermos? Nope.
 
8) In 1964, when Flipper premiered, it was up against The Outer Limits and The Jackie Gleason Show. If those were your only viewing choices, would you watch the family show about the dolphin, the sci-fi anthology show, or the comedy-variety show? (Or would your rather flip through a magazine?) Flipper. Definitely Flipper.

9) Random question  -- Which would you be more comfortable explaining: how a car engine works, the current IRS tax brackets, or the rules of baseball? Baseball! I love that game. There's a rule that ONLY applies to my beloved Wrigley Field: if a ball lodges in the outfield ivy, the outfielder is supposed to raise his arm in the air. Then the ball is considered dead and the batter is awarded second base. If the outfielder foolishly tries to dig the ball out of the ivy, play continues and the batter will undoubtedly take an inside the park home run. Have you missed baseball this summer as much as I have?

Boundaries, Gal! Boundaries!

I love my friends. They are the family I chose. I work at being available. I worry and research options to help them solve their problems. I realize that sometimes I do more than I'm asked, and just as often I'm asked to accept more than I should. I'm OK with the former, but I'm working on the latter.

Which is why last night I hung up on Kathy. I feel guilty about it. On the other hand, I could tell that the conversation was going nowhere good and I have to look out for myself at times, too.

Wednesday she sent me a rather cryptic text about how "weird" the world has become, and wondering how I was faring in it. Yes, the world is weird, but really no weirder than it was in April. Last night (Thursday) I called her. She didn't pick up, and I didn't leave a message. After all, I have no statement to make and wasn't sure what she wanted.

A few minutes later, she called me back. She wanted to know what I wanted. I told her I was responding to her Wednesday text. She asked me what she said. Huh? 

I asked her about her family camping trip to Baraboo, WI. She posted photos on Facebook and I was curious about two things: 1) Why was no one wearing masks at this multigenerational gathering? After all, Linda is 72; 2) How did she get along with her ex? They divorced back in the 1980s, and at times their relationship has been contentious, but he's resurfacing in her life more and more. What gives?

It took her so long to answer the first question, I never got to ask the second. It seems the younger generation has bought into the herd immunity theory.  I get it, as a theory. I'm not sure I could look my frightened grandmother in the eye -- and Kathy is, indeed, worried about Covid19 -- and discount her discomfort, though. They're also already refusing a vaccine that isn't yet available. This all sounds selfish and insane to me, but it's her family, not mine. More than once as she rambled her way through this tale, she said things like, "Thank you for being patient," and "Sometimes I think I'm going nuts."

I addressed that comment directly. "A bad memory doesn't make you crazy. It just means you have a bad memory."

To show solidarity with her on the family thing, I told her about the drama surrounding my niece's wedding. She said, "You know, if you ask me about any of this tomorrow I won't remember." Huh? That is not a normal thing to say in conversation.

"Why would I ask you about any of this?" I asked. She had no answer. When I was done, she told me she'd been to "a clinic" to have a mammogram and a bone density test. I asked her when she was going to see her doctor. After all, she has Medicare and some supplement plan, she should take advantage of them. Plus, this is not the first time her cognitive issues have shown up on my radar.

"I don't want anything in my record."

Huh?

I said, "You're concerned about your memory. You should see a doctor and see if you can't get help with it."

"I'm not concerned about my memory."

Huh?

"Kathy! You've mentioned it several times in this half hour call! It could be something that's easily treated ..." I have researched this. Hypothyroidism, vitamin deficiency or poor blood flow can all contribute to memory loss. I know she's worried about dementia, so why not try to get it diagonosed so she can maybe stop worrying?

I didn't get to say any of this because she literally hissed at me. "Let it go, Gal," she said in a threatening voice. "I mean it."

What the ever-loving fuck? If you don't want me to comment on your bad memory, quit mentioning your bad memory. Stop putting neon around it. And do not use that tone of voice with me!

"I'm hanging up now," I said. "I hope you're happier next time we talk."

Click.

I surprised myself by doing this. Usually I would stay on the phone with her and try to calm her down. I would make sure she understood that I care about her, and get how her fear drives her reactions.

But then I thought, "she doesn't get to treat me that way." After all, I am in this relationship, too. She gave no consideration to how she was talking to me, or how it made me feel.

We've exchanged texts twice since last night. Kathy admitted that, after the family vacation, her daughter expressed similar concern about her memory and promised to be there more for her mom. She also appreciates that she shouldn't have spoken to me that aggressively, that I was responding out of concern.

So we're good! I stood up for myself, and nothing bad happened. 

Of course, I'm still worried about her health and safety. That hasn't abated. But I've learned something important about myself in my personal relationships. Not as important, I know, as what Kathy's dealing with, but it's growth for me.

Blunt force truth right here

I first became familiar with Chuck Woolery when my kid sister was very young. He played wacky mailman Mr. Dingle on The New Zoo Revue, one of her favorite early-morning shows. He is better-known as the host of the dating show, The Love Connection. Today he is an outspoken proponent of conservative politics. It's amusing that the people who holler the loudest about celebrities involving themselves in current affairs are the ones who voted for a reality show host who feels very comfortable quoting Chuck Woolery.

First Mr. Woolery declared himself "sick" of all the lies about Covid 19. Then he had to share that his son is literally sick, with Covid 19.

Mr. Woolery then deleted his Twitter account.

"Blunt Force Truth" is Chuck Woolery's brand. Sadly, he just got smacked with blunt force truth about the pandemic.

•  Stay home as much as you can
•  Wear a mask when you go out
•  Wash your hands often
•  If you come down with the corona virus and your doctor prescribes Remdesivir, take it

If you don't believe me, or Dr. Fauci, or the CDC, ask your own doctor. A real person who is more to you than just a screen name. The internet is delightful and good for many things -- hell, I'm on it right now -- but it can be a cesspool of misinformation. If you are skeptical about anything you read about the corona virus, ask your own doctor.

Stay safe. Save lives. Wear a mask.

WWW.WEDNESDAY

WWW. WEDNESDAY asks three questions to prompt you to speak bookishly. To participate, and to see how other book lovers responded, click here. 

1. What are you currently reading? Open and Shut by David Rosenfelt. Defense attorney Andy Carpenter is my kinda guy -- he loves baseball, dogs, and lost causes. He also has a smart mouth. So even if I wasn't enjoying the mystery, I'd probably enjoy this book.
 

But I am enjoying the mystery. Why did Andy's father -- a legendary prosecutor -- insist Andy take on the appeal of a man he put on death row? Poor Andy will never know, because his father dies suddenly ... and more family secrets are revealed.

There's a lot at stake for Andy: emotionally, professionally and physically. His sense of humor not only makes us cheer for him, it makes the tension easier to take. So far, this is a highly entertaining read.

2. What did you recently finish reading? Royal Holiday by Jasmine Guillory. Disclosure: I hate hot, humid weather, and that's why I reached for this book. I wanted to read about Christmastime, bracing winds and the need for hot tea and fireplaces. On that level, this book really delivered. However, it let me down in other areas.

It has a fun chick-lit premise. Vivian, a 50-something Bay area social worker, is whisked away to London for Christmas week. Her adult daughter gets a dream assignment with the Royal Family and brings mom along so they won't be apart on Christmas. While her daughter is hard at work, Vivian enjoys a lovely little holiday romance. However, after Christmas, neither Vivian nor her new love interest, Malcolm, are able to just let it go.
       

Where this fell apart for me was in the depictions of Vivian and Malcolm. Even though they traded narration duties, chapter by chapter, I never felt I knew them. They each had fascinating occupations (she's a social worker in a hospital, helping families in crisis; he's personal secretary/advisor to the Queen herself in matters of Parliament), but all we really know of their jobs is that she loves her and he's frustrated by his. Not enough.

A smaller but equally annoying point: After New Year's, when an ocean and a continent separate them, they communicate by post cards. Nice, romantic and perfectly in keeping with people in their 50s who might feel they spend too damn much time with their email accounts. But here's the thing: I send postcards, too. No one on earth could handwrite such long messages on the back of postcards. Such sloppiness took me out of the action, over and over again, through the end of the story when I really wanted to be engaged.

In short: It's a three-star premise with a two-star execution. If you go into it with managed expectations, and take it for what it is, you may enjoy it.

3.  What will you read next? Maybe a biography. Or another mystery. My TBR pile is stacked dauntingly high with both.  

 

The "truth" about Remdesivir

Is this like looking in the mirror?

Do you believe that profits from Remdesivir line Dr. Anthony Fauci's pockets? Maybe you should take off your tinfoil hat and instead put on a mask to protect your neighbors.

It isn't true that Dr. Fauci benefits.

Have you heard that Remdesivir is the product of a vast, worldwide pharmaceutical conspiracy that can be traced back to Hillary Clinton and George Soros?

It simply isn't true.

Do you believe that person you never actually met but who posted online that she knows someone who knows a doctor who "admitted" masks won't help stop the spread of the corona virus? Why don't you just call your own doctor?

Even Fox News confirms the value of wearing a mask.

There is much about the Trump Presidency that depresses me, but nothing more than this: He's contributed to the growing mistrust of doctors, the CDC and the mainstream media (now including Fox). Demographically speaking, 53% of voters over 65 voted for Trump in 2016. 51% of those between 50 and 64 also chose Trump over Clinton. This is important because those voters are now 3 1/2 years older. 3 1/2 years more vulnerable. I may disagree with my paranoid online brothers and sisters, and despise the way they parrot misinformation without checking it, but I don't want them to get sick. Or die.

Don't listen to me about Remdesivir vs. hydroxychloroquine or the importance of masks. Don't listen to anyone you only know as a screen name. Talk to your own doctor. You know, an MD or nurse practitioner who has, at some point, actually listened to your heart and taken your temperature. Don't become a Covid19 statistic.

Look at this way: if you're dead, you can't vote for Trump/Pence in 2020.

The curse of being "a good girl"

We took our condo building off the market on June 16. It took Aaron, the real estate agent, until Saturday to return the unit owners' keys. TWENTY FIVE DAYS.

First he just emailed me the combination to the lock box with the owners' keys within. How's that for security? I pointed out to him what he should have realized on his own: these are condominiums, it's not an apartment building. I'm not a landlady, I have no right to anyone's keys.

Days go by. No response to my email. So I text. And email again. No response.

Then Aaron offered to meet me somewhere, to hand me the keys. That will be easier for him, you see. All he'll have to do is hop out of his car while it's still running.

No. I reiterate that the unit owners surrendered their keys to HIM, so HE must be the one to return them. I'm not taking custody of anyone's keys. He knows I'm right. This is just so inconvenient for him!

Days go by. No response to my email. So I text. And email again. And phone.

Finally, Saturday Aaron did what he should have done on June 17. He came, got his lock box, and returned the unit owners' keys. He did all this without ever returning my call.

Today I called the managing agent of his office. I explained how displeased I was with the way our realtor treated the unit owners' security. The cavalier way he handled the deconversion from the word "go." I was venting, yes, but it was more than that.

In this situation, I am responsible for the security of the people who live here. He was way too willing to compromise that for his own convenience. And I can't emphasize this enough: this was not his first misstep. Nor even his second. I felt like I had to protect his future clients from his dismissive approach to an important business.

His boss told me that there would be "a course correction" and that he was asking to me to "read between the lines" when he said he was "looking for a new position for Aaron." 

Then I felt guilty. Isn't that stupid? If I hadn't spoken up, I would have been seething with resentment. I do speak up, and I'm racked with guilt. I can't help it. I was born in the 1950s. I'm supposed to be a good girl.

"You're going to take one for the team"

Why do I go to a therapist if I don't take her advice? My shrink and I had a disagreement Saturday about dealings with my family. She made it clear what she thought I should do. She's sensitive enough to know that's not what I will do. I let her know that I will depend on her to be there for me if she turns out to be right.

The issue at hand: My niece's bridal shower is August 1 at her mother-in-law's home in Holland, MI. I RSVP'd immediately that I'd attend via Zoom. Then my kid sister (the bride's mother) IM'd me. Did I want to play "Thelma" to her "Louise" and ride up to the shower with her?

My kid sister and I haven't been friendly for nearly 20 years. Initially, our fissure broke my heart. I helped raise my sister, tried hard to protect her from the ramifications of the disintegration of my parent's marriage,*and help guide her into adulthood. After she married, I was an ongoing source of financial support for her growing family. So when she suddenly let me have it with both barrels, I was shocked and appalled and beyond hurt. Apparently she'd been harboring anger and resentment toward me for decades, and she said some genuinely awful things.

There have been feeble attempts by both sides of rapprochement, but once my mother died, we rather gave up. With time -- and with my friend Henry's encouragement to examine her behavior more closely and with greater compassion -- I've concluded that my sister was dealing with post-partum depression when she lashed out at me. I understand how powerful both depression and hormones can be, and I'd be inclined to cut her slack, if only she'd apologize. She never has. So while I've forgiven her in my heart, that hasn't had a great deal of impact on my behavior. I don't trust her not to hurt me again.

Which is why my shrink recommends that I NOT travel to Michigan with my sister.  So much can go wrong in 4+ hours in the car, then during the shower, and then in the 4+ hours back. Since my sister is driving, I'm dependent and vulnerable in this situation. And, to use a trite expression, there's been no evidence that this leopard has changed her spots.

Yet I'm going. Because it means so much to the bride, my niece. Thanks to Covid19, her wedding plans are falling apart around her and I want her to have at least this one happy, conventional bridal day. So even though it could be very awkward, it will only be one day (a day and a half, if we stay overnight), which isn't a long time when you consider the length of a lifetime.

There's a selfish aspect to this, too. I'll get to meet some of the groom's family at this get together. If by some miracle my niece's wedding actually happens, I'll see some familiar faces at the ceremony and won't feel quite so much like I'm entering an enemy camp.

So, as my therapist put it, "You're going to take one for the team, aren't you?"

Yes. And if it goes badly, I will count on my shrink to help glue me back together afterward.

*Though they never divorced. I wish they had. My sister and I would have experienced less day-to-day tension and hostility if they'd just given up and lived separately.

Atta boy, Darius!

Darius is the convict I correspond with through my church's prison penpal program. He is serving a life sentence at Western Illinois Correctional facility. You would not want to his life. His every move is monitored and restricted and his days are literally filled with darkness and stench. I acknowledge that he is there because he is a convicted killer, and that he cannot ever fully repay his debt to society. But he is a human being, too, and whenever I write to him, I recall that Christ said, "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." So I keep the lines of communication open, letting him know that no matter how hopeless he feels in there, someone out here cares about him.

In June, I wrote to him honestly regarding my biggest concern about Covid19 -- that it will ravage the homeless population. You can't shelter at home if you don't have a home. You can't socially distance in a shelter. You can't wash your hands regularly if you don't have access to plumbing. With so many companies encouraging work from home, there are fewer passersby to rely on for the change that fuels your life. You could very well die before this is over.

Darius surprised me by echoing my concern. He admitted that while his life is unremittingly awful, at least he knows where his next meal is coming from.* He added something to my list of deprivations that hadn't occurred to me -- with fewer people dining out, there's likely less food in dumpsters for the homeless to scavenge. He also acknowledged that he has access to minimal health care, and minimal health care is more than the people on the streets get. 

When I hear someone complain about being "oppressed" because they're asked to wear a mask in public to protect their neighbor, I think, "SHAME ON THEM." Even a convicted killer serving a life sentence has greater empathy than these people. 

*Though you don't want to hear how he describes the prison food. You wouldn't be able to look at a chicken breast the same way ever again.

Of Gone with the Wind and snowflakes

Amazingly, some online conservatives are still bitching about the "removal" of Gone with the Wind. Even though there's nothing to bitch about. 

Because while GWTW was removed from the HBO Max for a matter of days, it's back. It's been been back. It was returned to the queue, completely uncut, weeks ago. You'd think that would stop the whining and misinformation. It hasn't. "The PC Police are taking it away!" "It's been banned!" You might also assume that people who can blog, tweet and post could also use Google, but apparently they can't. Because this is, literally, the first thing that pops up when you search "Gone with the Wind, HBO Max."

 

In early June, HBO Max temporarily suspended Gone with the Wind from its library. The move was inspired by a thoughtful LA Times op-ed by John Ridley -- which I'd wager my mortgage payment these bitchers haven't read -- where he states, "Let me be real clear: I don’t believe in censorship. I don’t think “Gone With the Wind” should be relegated to a vault in Burbank." Ridley just pleaded for some context to be place around the film. At the beginning or at the end.

Classic film lovers are used to the addition of context and are, by and large, grateful for it. TCM has been preceding potentially offensive films with host introductions for a while now. I specifically recall the ones I watched as TCM celebrated the 75th anniversary of D-Day in 2019. Before these wonderful old movies, certain serious flaws were acknowledged and discussed -- including the way less-than-equal treatment of black soldiers and their heroism was diminished, or internment camps right here in the United States were ignored. Putting works of art (and classic film lovers do think of movies as art) in the context of the time they were made does not harm them. It just helps the viewer better understand what they're about to see.

On June 24, less than two weeks later, Gone with the Wind was returned to HBO Max. Not a frame was removed. The narrative is untouched. Instead, HBO added a panel discussion The Complicated Legacy of Gone with the Wind. It was filmed at the TCM Film Festival in April 2019. I attended, and here's what I wrote about it at the time:
 
The only TCMFF panel I attended, but it was so provocative and intriguing. A quartet of film historians and authors discussed two inarguable points: GWTW is un-PC to the point of being offensive, and yet it's a great and highly watchable movie. As women, how do we process Scarlett, Mammy and Melanie? As people of color, how do we handle the romanticized depiction of slavery and Reconstruction? It lasted an hour and it could have gone on an hour more. 

Then there's this: Gone with the Wind premiered in 1939. It's regularly re-released in theaters: I've seen it on the big screen (at least) four times. It's been available on BetaMax, VHS, DVD, Blue-Ray and now streaming services. It was the first movie shown on TCM and (next to Casablanca) the one shown most often.

Yet NOW whiners demand to see it and are furious they can't? NOW they better hurry, before it's taken away forever?

They can see it for free, right now, on HBO Max. They can watch it for free, right now, with a video of a panel discussion I had to pay to enjoy. And they still aren't happy.

To what can we attribute this?

•  Genuinely fake news. These folks never actually read what HBO Max said in the initial, early-June press-release where it was stated the film wouldn't be banned, edited or censored. Instead they trusted hysterical, slanted social media for their news. And hysterical, slanted social media never told them HBO Max has restored the movie to their line-up.

•  Laziness. They read a headline and never bothered to follow up on the story. As I indicated above, all one has to do is Google the movie and HBO Max to be greeted by ads to watch it at home for free. But why let facts get in the way of their spreading misinformation that fits the narrative?

•  Professional victimization. Yes, those nasty PC police are trying to keep YOU from seeing a movie YOU haven't yet bothered to purchase, rent or even watch -- even though it's been readily available in a variety of formats for 80 fucking years. This is all about YOU. Not about how it would feel to be a person of color watching a movie that celebrates the Confederacy, romanticizes slavery and normalizes the Ku Klux Klan. No, this is about YOU.

Sunday Stealing

Movie Challenge

1. Last movie you watched. 13th, the 2016 documentary by Ava DuVernay about racial inequality in our prison system. My church has designated criminal justice and prison reform a priority for our congregation, so watching it now felt especially important to me. I learned a great deal. Netflix has made it available for free on YouTube here.

2. Last movie you watched in a theater. Casablanca. My friend Kathy took me to see it on the big screen at this glorious old movie palace, originally built in the late 1920s. The event was a fundraiser to support its restoration.

3.  Film you’ve always wanted to watch, but haven’t. Frozen. I've heard so much about Anna and Elsa. This month, I bought Disney+ for Hamilton, and I must take the time to watch Frozen, too.

4. Favorite movie soundtrack. I love the soundtrack to My Best Friend's Wedding. I enjoyed it more than the movie, to be honest.

5. Your favorite movie duo. Newman and Redford, the coolest guys ever.

6. Movie you like because of its story. Holiday. A thirty-something man who has worked since his teens wants to retire now, to take a few years off to travel and meet different kinds of people. Then he plans to go back to work, now understanding what he's working for. He falls in love with Julia, who thinks he's hot and charming and shows a great deal of promise. She also hates his idealistic, impractical plans and pressures him to change. I love this movie because it questions what we value, and why we love who we love. Made in 1938, it was a box office failure, despite starring Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn, because during the Depression, audiences had no sympathy for a young man who could work, who could have a precious job, and simply didn't want it. But I find the story and the sentiment are very dear.

7. A film that disappointed you. Rebel without a Cause. I just don't get James Dean.

8. Favorite scene from a movie. "Your girl is lovely, Hubbell." The Way We Were. (Cue my tears.)



9. Your guilty pleasure movie. I love every wretched moment of this movie so much.

10. A movie you keep going back to.

11. A quote your admire from your favorite movie. In the immortal words of Bruce Willis/John McClane: Welcome to the party, pal!

12. A movie based on a true story.

13. Your favorite actor/actress. Robert Redford, Katharine Hepburn

14. A sequel you’re not a fan of. Funny Lady

15. A film you know by heart. I'll go with Die Hard again here.

16. Your favorite opening scene. I love this credit sequence. I remember it more vividly than I do the rest of the movie.



17. A film that was based on a book and was executed well. To Kill a Mockingbird is a beautiful movie. The Godfather is actually better than the book. Jaws works so much better onscreen than on the page. All the President's Men is both faithful and entertaining (Bev reminded me). So don't simply buy into that silly elitist fiction that the book is always better than the movie.

18. A comedy film. Aside from making fabulous music, the Lads from Liverpool are really very funny.

19. TV series you’re binging on now. The Dick Van Dyke Show is on the Decades channel all weekend. It's a tribute to series creator Carl Reiner. It is a gem.

20. A TV series you think is underrated. I enjoy Michael Douglas series, The Kominsky Method, but I don't know anyone else who watches it.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: 77 Sunset Strip (1958)
 
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) 77 Sunset Strip was one of TV's early hits, running for six seasons. Before this morning, were you familiar with this show? I watched it when it was on MeTV. It's an interesting show. Some episodes were funny and others were more typical detective fare, with car chases and gunplay.

2) The show's jazzy theme is punctuated by finger snaps. When you snap your fingers, is the left-handed snap as loud as your right-handed snap? My right snap is much louder.


3) The show revolved around Bailey and Spencer Investigations. Stu Bailey and Jeff Spencer were among TV first "private eyes." Who is your all-time favorite TV PI? David Addison on Moonlighting, the genesis of my mad and enduring crush on Bruce Willis. I do not recall if David was a good private investigator. Whenever I think of him, moments like this spring to mind.



4) Their office had "a fancy label," meaning an attractive address, on Los Angeles' Sunset Blvd. Tell us about the prestige area of your neighborhood. In Chicago, it's the Gold Coast. If you live there, you're likely in a high rise apartment or a restored 19th century home. You can walk to Lake Michigan, to designer retail stores, and some of the nation's best restaurants. But are happy?

5) Next door was Dino's Lodge, the real-life restaurant and bar owned by entertainer Dean Martin. Are you a Dean Martin fan? Not at all. He always gave me the willies.

6) The valet at Dino's was Kookie. He was known for his perfect hair, his slang ("ginchy" meant cool, "germsville" was the hospital, "a dark seven" was a bad week) and his desire to someday be a private investigator, like Stu and Jeff. Do you think you'd be a good detective? No. I read a lot of mysteries and I'm happy to let my protagonists do the work. Conversely, I get the same kinda feeling when I watch crime/caper movies. I have no idea how to plan a heist or go on the lam. I suspect Kookie might deem me "dullsville."

A publicity photo of the real Dino and his TV valet

7) Stu and Jeff had a loyal secretary named Suzanne, played by French actress Jacqueline Beer. In real life, she was married to adventurer Thor Heyerdahl, who famously traveled from Peru to French Polynesia by raft. Does 100 days on a raft, sailing the south seas, sound fascinating to you? Not in the least.

8) Clint Eastwood was fan of the show and, in the 1990s, tried unsuccessfully to bring 77 Sunset Strip back. Is there a show from the past you'd like to see "rebooted?" Not really. There are old shows that I dearly love (Friends, Designing Women, The Dick Van Dyke Show, I Love Lucy) but I'm happy with the reruns.

9) Random question: Thinking about the last week, did you nag anyone? Or were you the one who was nagged? I nagged. And nagged some more. To no avail. The real estate agent who showed our building has been slow to return unit owner's keys. He's very cavalier and seems to take me not at all seriously. I wish I wasn't on the condo board, because then I could just forget about this. But everyone's security is my responsibility. Alas, I've got to handle this somehow. AARGH!